2,000 BUMPER STICKERS 
  1. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
  2. A car is stolen every 6 minutes, please take mine
  3. A Closed Mind Is A Wonderful Thing To Lose
  4. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking
  5. A day without sunshine is like...night
  6. A Democrat and your taxes are both soon wasted
  7. A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste
  8. A feather is kinky; the whole chicken is perverted
  9. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries
  10. A fool and his money are soon partying
  11. A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP is no substitute for A STRONG CUP OF COFFEE
  12. A husband is a lover who pushed his luck too far
  13. A shortcut is the longest distance between two points
  14. A tisket, a tasket, a condom or a casket
  15. A waist is a terrible thing to mind
  16. A wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn
  17. A woman is like a piano - if she's not upright she's grand
  18. A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle
  19. A woman's place is in the mall
  20. Abolish Racism
  21. Abolish Southern California
  22. Abortion stops a beating heart
  23. Accidents cause people
  24. According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist
  25. Accountants do it with interest
  26. Action=Life; Silence=Death
  27. Against abortion? Don't have one
  28. Against abortion? Get a Vasectomy
  29. AIDS cures liberalism
  30. AIDS...Drugs...Abortion...Don't liberals just kill you?
  31. Ain’t Skeered
  32. Air Pollution is a mist-demeaner
  33. Alien on board
  34. All generalizations are false, including this one
  35. All men are created equal - Poor things
  36. All men are idiots, and I married their King
  37. All this beer drinking will be the urination of me
  38. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand
  39. All Women are Goddesses
  40. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn
  41. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else
  42. Am Bi-Sexual - If I Can't Get It, I Buy It
  43. Amarillo Loves Oprah
  44. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy
  45. America - Land Of Opportunists
  46. American By Birth, Southern By The Grace Of God
  47. American Patriot - #1 Endangered Species
  48. Amish time traveler on board
  49. An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth
  50. And this little piggy stayed home. He's agoraphobic
  51. Angels believe in me!
  52. ANGELS EXIST
  53. Angels wing it!
  54. Animal testing is unfair - they get all nervous and write the wrong answer
  55. ANKH IF YOU'RE A MUMMY!
  56. Annoy a liberal. Work hard and be happy
  57. Annoy the Media: Re-elect Bush
  58. Another Man Against Violence Against Women
  59. Another Woman In Charge
  60. Answer My Prayers - Steal This Car
  61. Anticipate miracles
  62. Anti-social diseases are a sore point
  63. Anything free is worth what you pay for it
  64. Apartheid is a pigment of the imagination
  65. Appendictomy, Tonsilectomy, Slipadicktomy
  66. Armed Men are Citizens. Unarmed Men are Subjects
  67. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity
  68. As a matter of fact, I DO own the road!
  69. As if…
  70. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools!
  71. Ask First Before Hunting or Fishing On Private Land
  72. Ask First If The Animal Wants To Be Killed
  73. Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit
  74. Ask Me About Satanism
  75. ASK YOUR ANGELS
  76. Assassins do it from behind
  77. Assassins Inc., we aim to please
  78. Astronomy is looking up
  79. At one time most girls in Utah married Young
  80. At warp 9 they all look green to me!
  81. Atheism is a non-prophet organization
  82. Attitudes Are The Real Disability
  83. Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
  84. Avoid The Rush - Hate Texas Early
  85. Ax me about Ebonics
  86. Ay Carumba
  87. Baby I'm bored
  88. Baby on board
  89. Back off, I'm a goddess
  90. Bad cop! No donut
  91. Bad To The Bone
  92. Balance the budget - Tax religion
  93. Ballroom dancers do it quick-quick slow-slow
  94. Ban Abortions - Eat Your Young Instead
  95. Ban Mining: Let the Bastards Freeze in the Dark
  96. Banish the doubt
  97. Barely Born the First Time
  98. Bartenders do it on the rocks
  99. Baseball Fans On Strike
  100. Be a hero, save a whale. Save a baby, go to jail.
  101. Be A Voice For Choice, Every Child A Wanted Child
  102. Be Alert; The World Needs More Lerts
  103. Be Green
  104. Be Here Now
  105. Be Kind To Animals - Don't Eat Them
  106. Be kind to animals - Hug a hockey player
  107. Be natural Go naked
  108. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home
  109. Be Patient God Isn't Finished With Me Yet
  110. Beam me up Scotty, there are no virgins left
  111. Beam Me Up Scotty: There's No Intelligent Life Here
  112. Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus
  113. Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder
  114. Been There, Done That
  115. Beep beep yurass!
  116. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore
  117. Behind Every Successful Woman Is Herself
  118. Being an a**hole is part of my charm
  119. Bend Over - Hillary's Healthcare's Coming
  120. Better A Bleeding Heart Than None At All
  121. Better active now than radioactive later
  122. Better gay than grumpy
  123. Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot
  124. Beware my grand slam
  125. Beware of Greeks wearing Lifts - Bush/Quayle 88
  126. BIG BIRD should kick BARNEY'S ass!
  127. Bill and Al's Big Adventure
  128. Bill Clinton - two new faces for Mt. Rushmore
  129. Bill, Do You Feel THEIR Pain? Abortion Hurts Babies, Women & Families
  130. Bill's In Trouble Call Hillary
  131. BINGO is my Name-O
  132. BITCH Beautiful Intelligent Talented Charming Horny
  133. Bite Me
  134. Black holes are where God divided by zero
  135. Black Holes Suck
  136. Blonde Borgs have exactly the same fun
  137. Blondes May Have More Fun, But Brunettes Get The Job Done
  138. Blood Sun Earth
  139. Blow up your TV
  140. Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel
  141. Boldly going nowhere
  142. Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people
  143. Boost The Stockmarket - Fire Someone
  144. Boozness as usual
  145. Borg assimilated my race and all I got was this bumper sticker
  146. Born Again Pagan
  147. BORN AGAIN SKEPTIC
  148. Born Again Virgin
  149. Born Free..Taxed to Death
  150. Born OK the first time
  151. Borrow a child's imagination and...
  152. Bosses are like diapers, they are always on your ass and usually full of sh**
  153. BOULDER: AMERICA'S REALITY OPTIONAL COMMUNITY
  154. Boycott Homophobia
  155. Boycott shampoo!!! Demand REAL poo!
  156. Boycott Wal-mart
  157. Brain off duty after 6 p.m
  158. Brat in trunk
  159. Buddy should have Clinton neutered!
  160. Budget: A method for going broke methodically
  161. Built for comfort, not speed
  162. Bumper sticker!
  163. Bumper stickers suck!
  164. Bury Switzer
  165. Business is great; People are terrific; Life is wonderful
  166. BUY AMERICAN OUR JOBS DEPEND ON IT
  167. Buy American while there is still time
  168. By the way, I faked all those orgasms
  169. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury the husband in the back yard
  170. Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it
  171. Careful, I'm Not Wearing Clean Underwear!
  172. Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities
  173. Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man and communism is the reverse
  174. Car will explode upon impact
  175. Carpe diem
  176. Carp diem - Fish of the day
  177. Carpenters do it tongue in groove
  178. Carpenters hammer it home
  179. Carpenters know all the angles
  180. Carpenters make better studs
  181. Cars aren't the only thing that get recalled by the maker
  182. Cats Flattened While You Watch
  183. CATS: The other white meat
  184. Caution Driver Has PMS
  185. CAUTION - Driver legally blonde!
  186. CAUTION - Driver Singing
  187. Caution, I am naked under my clothes
  188. CAUTION...We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical
  189. Caution: Driver Applying Make-Up
  190. Celebrate Ability
  191. Celebrate Diversity
  192. Celebrate life
  193. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
  194. Change The World
  195. Change your ways or GOD Will Change your Location
  196. Chariot of fire
  197. Chartered alcoholic
  198. Chaste makes waste
  199. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come
  200. Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!
  201. Chess players mate better
  202. Children are people, too
  203. Choose Life - Your Mom Did
  204. Choosy mothers choose life
  205. Christian American
  206. Christians aren't perfect -- just forgiven
  207. Christians. Can't live with 'em. Can't feed 'em to the lions anymore
  208. Christians do it with grace
  209. Cigar smokers appreciate a great butt
  210. Civil servants do it in triplicate
  211. Clean & Crazy
  212. Clean & Serene
  213. Clean & Sober
  214. Clear the Road I AM SIXTEEN
  215. Click and Clack for President 1996 / Unencumbered by the thought process
  216. Climbing: It Rips The Screams Right Out Of Your Throat
  217. Clinton doesn't inhale, he sucks
  218. Clinton For Change
  219. Clinton Happens
  220. Clinton Sucks
  221. Clinton Tax Plan - Send it All in. Now!
  222. Clinton/Gore Gone in four
  223. Clintonophobia - Only Idiots Are Immune
  224. Clones are people two
  225. CLOSETS ARE FOR CLOTHES
  226. Cocaine is God's way of telling you that you make too much money
  227. COLE'S LAW: Thinly sliced cabbage
  228. Columbus Did Not Discover The New World, He Invaded It
  229. Come any closer and I'll use my magnet
  230. Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are
  231. Come to church this Sunday and avoid the Christmas rush
  232. Commie Bore
  233. Common sense isn't
  234. Compost Happens
  235. Condoms Are Easier To Change Than Diapers
  236. Conflict - The Ungovernable Force
  237. Confused? Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute
  238. Congress Happens
  239. Congress is Israeli occupied territory
  240. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps
  241. Conserve water - dilute it
  242. Conserve Water; Shower with a friend
  243. Copulate, don't populate
  244. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
  245. Courtesy Is Contagious
  246. Cover me. I'm changing lanes
  247. Cows Not Condos
  248. Crash in Roswell Tonight
  249. Create A Miracle
  250. Creative People Must Be Stopped
  251. Crew Team - 8 Big Men and Their Tiny Cox
  252. Crime does not pay...as well as politics
  253. Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
  254. Crime, Sex, Alcohol, Drugs...God do I love Congress
  255. Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it
  256. "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy
  257. Cry for the animals at Disney's Animal Kingdom
  258. Cure AIDS
  259. Currently Training To Avoid A Mid-life Crisis
  260. Custer Had It Coming
  261. CUT THEIR PAY AND SEND THEM HOME
  262. Cyberspace scared me so much I downloaded in my pants
  263. Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing
  264. Dain bramaged
  265. Dance with reckless abandon
  266. Dan Quayle Was Right
  267. Danger Will Robinson ... My arms are flailing!
  268. DAMM: Drunks Against Mad Mothers
  269. Damn I'm Good
  270. DAMN PUNK
  271. DARE to keep cops off donuts
  272. DARE to keep kids off drugs
  273. DARE to keep the CIA off drugs
  274. Dare To Speak The Truth To Power
  275. DARE to think for yourself
  276. Darwin Saves
  277. Dead heads don't fall down, they just keep on tripping!
  278. Death is life's way of telling you you're fired
  279. Defecation eventuates
  280. Defend Reproductive Freedom
  281. Defend The Earth
  282. Defend The Last Stand - America's Ancient Forest
  283. Deforestation - The Doorway To Hell
  284. Defunding Education Is Defeating The Future
  285. Department of Redundancy Department
  286. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
  287. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular
  288. Destined for Greatness...but pacing myself
  289. DIE TAILGATER SKUM
  290. Die Yuppie Scum
  291. Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way
  292. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'....till you can find a rock
  293. Disarm Rapists
  294. Disco Rules!
  295. Discourage Inbreeding, Ban Country Music!
  296. Divers do it deeper!
  297. Divers not only do it deeper, they don't mind GOING DOWN
  298. Diversity is our strength
  299. Do AZ. I do
  300. Do It Sober
  301. Do not disturb. Already disturbed!
  302. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup
  303. Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you!
  304. Do You Trust Your Government?
  305. Do you want to talk to the boss or the one who knows what's going on?
  306. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  307. Dogs are for life, not just for Christmas
  308. Doing my part to piss off the religious right
  309. DOLE for PINEAPPLE
  310. Dole Is Just Bananas
  311. DOLE WON'T LIVE 4 YEARS!
  312. Domestic Violence Feeds On Silence
  313. Donald Duck isn't all he's quacked up to be
  314. Don't argue with your wife - dicker!
  315. Don't be so open-minded, your brain's falling out
  316. Don't be sexist - broads hate that
  317. Don't be stupid. We have politicians for that
  318. Don't blame me I didn't vote for Hillary
  319. Don't Blame Me, I Voted Against Them All
  320. Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus
  321. Don't Blame Me: I Voted For Bush
  322. Don't blame me. I didn't vote for the dope from Hope
  323. DON'T BUY NIKE, stop sweatshops
  324. Don't Californicate Colorado
  325. Don't Criticize Ag With Your Mouth Full
  326. Don't drink and drive
  327. Don't drink and drive - Smoke dope and fly home
  328. Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink
  329. Don't drive too close - this car's in heat!
  330. Don't Drive Under The Influence
  331. Don't Drive Unless You're Sober Please
  332. Don't follow me, I'm lost too
  333. Don't get too close, this car has gas
  334. Don't Have a Cow, Man
  335. Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail
  336. Don't Honk - I'm Pedaling as Fast as I Can
  337. Don't knock inflation - your tires wouldn't be the same without it!
  338. Don't laugh
  339. Don't laugh - your daughter may be in here
  340. Don't laugh This is my other car
  341. Don't laugh, it's paid for
  342. Don't Laugh, It's Stolen
  343. Don't Legislate Hate - Fight The Right
  344. Don't Let Hillary Pick Your Pockets Or your Doctor
  345. Don't let schooling get in the way of your education
  346. Don't let your mind wander, its not big enough to be left alone
  347. Don't Like Guns? DON'T BUY ONE!
  348. Don't look back, they might be gaining on you
  349. Don’t mess with Texas
  350. Don't Nuke Our Food, Stop Food Irradiation
  351. Don't panic
  352. Don't Piss me Off - i'm running out of places to hide the bodies
  353. Don't play with your food after you've eaten it
  354. Don't Postpone Joy
  355. Don't Punish a Mother for Believing Her Child
  356. Don't rush me. I get paid by the hour
  357. Don't steal. The government hates competition
  358. Don't Tailgate
  359. Don't take life too seriously - you won't get out alive
  360. Don't tell my mother I work in the oilfield! She thinks I'm a piano player in a whorehouse
  361. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice
  362. Don't WANNA think!
  363. Don't wash this vehicle - Undergoing scientific dirt test
  364. Don't Waste Our Future, Recycle
  365. Don't worry - if its not a baby then you're not pregnant
  366. Doo-Doo Occurs
  367. Drag queens have more fun!
  368. Drink 'til she's cute but stop before the wedding
  369. Drive & Pollute
  370. Drive like hell - you'll get there
  371. Drive Smart Drive Sober
  372. Driver carries no cash; he's married
  373. Drop the Rock
  374. Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off
  375. Dyslexics have more fnu
  376. Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
  377. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
  378. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
  379. Earn cash in your spare time - blackmail your friends
  380. EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets later
  381. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe
  382. Easy Does It
  383. Eat American Lamb. Ten Million Coyotes Can't be Wrong
  384. Eat Bertha's Mussels
  385. Eat my Shorts
  386. EAT, SLEEP AND GO FISHING
  387. Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway
  388. Editing is a rewording activity
  389. Education Prevents Prisons
  390. Efficiency is only intelligent laziness
  391. 812 Many
  392. Elect McGovern '72
  393. Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself
  394. Elvis lives - and they buried the poor guy!
  395. Empty The Prisons - Make Room For Congress
  396. Encourage Your Hopes Not Your Fears
  397. End Hemp Prohibition
  398. End Racism
  399. End World Hunger - Can't Feed 'em? Don't Breed 'em!
  400. Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery
  401. Enjoy life, this is not a dress rehearsal
  402. Enlighten a Liberal - Shine a Flashlight Under his Rock
  403. Enough with the bumper stickers already!
  404. Enough With The Ribbons Already!
  405. Engineers do it with precision
  406. Entropy isn't what it used to be
  407. Environmentalists Welcome. We haven't had a good hanging since '54.
  408. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights
  409. Equal Rights for Unborn Women
  410. Equality is a myth -- women are better
  411. ERASE HATE
  412. Escape To Wisconsin
  413. Escape Wisconsin
  414. Eschew obfuscation
  415. Eternity...smoking or non-smoking?
  416. Evangelists do more than lay people
  417. Eve was framed
  418. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  419. Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
  420. Every Mother Is A Working Mother
  421. Every time you pray God sends angels running
  422. Everyday Is Earth Day
  423. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film
  424. Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid
  425. Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
  426. Everyone is on a spiritual path, most people don't know it
  427. Everyone Makes A Difference
  428. Everything you know is wrong
  429. Evolved-again Secular Humanist
  430. Ex-Boyfriend in Trunk
  431. Ex-Girlfriend in Trunk
  432. Expect nothing and everything will be a surprise!
  433. Exxon Suxx
  434. F U CN RD THS U CNT SPL WRTH A DM!
  435. F.U.
  436. Faith can move mountains--she's a big girl
  437. Familiarity breeds children
  438. Families that pray together stay together - thank God my mother-in-law is Atheist
  439. Farfrompuken
  440. Farfromsober
  441. Faster than a speeding ticket!
  442. Fear No Art
  443. Fear Socialism
  444. Feel superior - become a nun
  445. Feet and knees together, eyes on the horizon
  446. Feminism is the Radical Notion That Women Are People
  447. Feminism Spoken Here
  448. Ferengi Happen
  449. Few women admit their age, Few men act theirs
  450. Fight AIDS Not People With AIDS
  451. Fight air pollution. Get a horse
  452. Fight crime, shoot back
  453. Fight Prime Time, Read A Book
  454. Fight Racism
  455. Fight road rage, Slower traffic keep right
  456. Fight The Population Explosion...Use Your Head
  457. Firemen do it with a big hose
  458. Firemen find `em hot, and leave `em wet!
  459. Fireworks Make People Happy
  460. First Hillary, then Gennifer, Now Us
  461. First rule of marriage: If you're right, apologize fast
  462. Flag Worship is Idolatry.
  463. Fleece on earth, good wool to ewe
  464. Flunked Sex Education. Tutor Wanted
  465. Flush Rush
  466. Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist
  467. Focus On Your Own Damn Family
  468. Fog happens
  469. Follow Jesus, and spend eternity in the non-smoking section
  470. Follow Your Bliss
  471. For a small town this one sure has a lot of a**holes
  472. Forget About The Mountains, Head For The Busch
  473. Forget about World Peace. . . Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
  474. Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons
  475. Forget the Whales, Save the Cowboy
  476. Forget world peace; learn to drive!
  477. 49% bitch 51% sweetheart. Don't push it
  478. 1492-1992: 500 Years of Tourism
  479. Foxy Lady
  480. Frankly, My Dear, I Don't Want a Dam
  481. Free Colonel Mustard
  482. Free Leonard Peltier
  483. FREE O.J. (with purchase of happy meal)
  484. Free The Bound Periodicals!
  485. Free Tibet
  486. Free Willie in '96
  487. Free Your Mind Of Sexism
  488. Freedom Means Choice
  489. Freedom OF religion, not FROM religion
  490. FREEDOM'S JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE
  491. Freedom's Precious Metals - Gold, Silver & Lead
  492. Freudian slip: when you say one thing but mean your mother
  493. Friends don't let friends drive Chevies
  494. Friends don't let friends drive drunk
  495. Friends don't let friends drive Fords
  496. Friends don't let friends drive naked
  497. Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Democrat
  498. Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Republican
  499. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies
  500. From a chicken in every pot to a chicken smokin' pot
  501. Fudgies go home
  502. F*** CENSORSHIP
  503. Fukengruven
  504. Fulfill The Dream
  505. Fundamentalism Stops A Thinking Mind
  506. Fur is Dead
  507. Fur is Murder… to Clean
  508. Fur is warm
  509. Gas, Grass or Ass - nobody rides for free
  510. Geez if you love Honkus
  511. Gene Police: YOU!! Out of the pool!
  512. Generic Christian
  513. Genitals prefer blondes
  514. GET A HAIRCUT!
  515. Get in, sit down, shut up, and hold on
  516. Get off my ass, I’m looking for a garage sale
  517. Get off my tail or I'll flick my booger on you!
  518. Get Over It
  519. Get Revenge--Live Long Enough To Be A Burden To Your Children
  520. GET SADDAM OUT OF IRAQ
  521. Get the abbey habit - sleep with a monk
  522. Get US out of the UN
  523. Get you own damn bumper sticker!
  524. Get your fingers out of my hair, I know what I'm doing
  525. Get’em down safely with air traffic control
  526. Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler
  527. Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it
  528. Give Blood - Play Rugby
  529. Give Earth a brake - stop overpopulation
  530. Give Earth A Chance
  531. Give me ambiguity or give me something else
  532. GIVE PIZZA CHANTS
  533. Glider pilots do it quietly
  534. GO COWBOYS!...and take the Mavericks with you
  535. Go ahead and hit me - I need the money
  536. Go, Lemmings, Go!
  537. Go Organic - Pesticides Don't Know When To Stop Killing
  538. Go Solar
  539. Go to church this Sunday and start the week off right
  540. Go Vegetarian
  541. God allows U-turns
  542. God Bless cat lovers
  543. God Created a Beautiful World - Don't Make It Ugly
  544. God Created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve
  545. God Created Man - Sam Colt Make Him Equal
  546. God heals and the doctor takes the fee
  547. God I want patience, and I WANT IT NOW!
  548. God is alive, He just doesn't want to get involved
  549. God Is Coming And Is She Pissed
  550. God is my co-pilot
  551. God is too big to fit in one religion
  552. God Loves You
  553. God must love stupid people, he made so many
  554. God, Guts and Guns keep America free
  555. God, protect me from your followers
  556. God Said It, I Believe It, That Settles It
  557. Goddess bless
  558. Going with women is O.K., but it isn't the real thing
  559. Golf is just 'flog' spelled backward
  560. Gone Crazy, be back later
  561. GOOD LIFE, GOOD DEATH
  562. Good Planets Are Hard To Find
  563. Good Sh** Happens
  564. Good Things Happen
  565. Goofy and Mickey will burn in Hell for sharing an insurance policy
  566. got beer?
  567. got surf?
  568. Gotta love me!
  569. Gravity. Not just a good idea; it's the law
  570. Ground Beef: A Cow With No Legs!
  571. Grow your own dope. Plant a man
  572. GUCK FORE
  573. Gun control means using both hands
  574. Gun control: simple solutions for simple minds
  575. Gun Owners Do It With More Bang!
  576. Guns don't die - people do
  577. Guns Don't Kill - Taxes Do!
  578. Guns don't kill people. I do
  579. Guns don't kill people OJ kills people
  580. Guns don't kill people, postal workers do
  581. Guns Don't Kill People, Radical Pro-Lifers Kill People
  582. Guns don't kill people...Class 2 Phasers do!
  583. Guns Save Lives
  584. Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt
  585. Hands Off
  586. Hang up and drive
  587. Happiness is a belt-fed weapon
  588. Happiness IS an Inside Job
  589. Happiness is being Irish
  590. Happiness Is Being Single
  591. Happiness is Coming
  592. Happiness is seeing your boss' face on the back of a milk carton
  593. Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton
  594. Happiness is seeing Clinton's face on the back of a milk carton
  595. Happiness is the Ball in the Fairway.
  596. Happy Childhoods Last A Lifetime...Prevent Child Abuse
  597. Happy happy joy joy
  598. Hard work has a future payoff...Laziness pays off NOW!
  599. Harness the power of STUPIDITY!
  600. Hasta la vista, Baby!
  601. Hate free zone
  602. Hate Is Not a Family Value
  603. Have a Day
  604. HAVE A NICE DAY
  605. Have the courage to live your dreams
  606. Have You Been Limbaughtomized?
  607. Have You Flogged Your Crew Today?
  608. Have you hugged a Ferengi today?
  609. HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR HORSE TODAY?
  610. Have You Hugged Your Kid Today?
  611. Have You Hugged Your Stockbroker Today?
  612. He who dies with the most toys wins
  613. He who hesitates ... must be stoned!
  614. He who laughs last thinks slowest
  615. He who laughs Lasts
  616. He's dead, Jim. You take his tricorder and I'll get his wallet
  617. Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
  618. Health Care Is A Right Not A Privilege
  619. Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
  620. Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over
  621. Heaven is my destination
  622. Heaven is within us
  623. Heil Hillary
  624. Heisenberg may have slept here!
  625. Help Criminals - BAN GUNS
  626. Help Fight Cancer, End Environmental Pollution
  627. Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.
  628. Help Stamp Out Bumper Stickers
  629. Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply
  630. Help your local police--Beat yourself up
  631. Help! The paranoids are after me!
  632. Hemp Can Save the World
  633. He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged
  634. Hey, I'M Irish all year long!
  635. HEY NEWT--CALL YOUR PROCTOLOGIST -- THEY FOUND YOUR HEAD
  636. Hey Rush! Bend over fat boy
  637. HI KEEBA
  638. High Performance Woman - Zero to Bitch in Two Seconds
  639. Higher Powered
  640. HIKE TIL YOU PEAK
  641. Hippie Chicks Rule
  642. Hire Teenagers while they still know everything!
  643. Hit Bongs Not People
  644. hoket on foniks werked fur me
  645. Hold the Liberals liable
  646. Homemaker And Proud Of It
  647. Homeopathy Heals Harmlessly
  648. Homophobia Is A Social Disease
  649. Honk If Anything Falls Off
  650. Honk if I'm Polish
  651. Honk if you are just a honker
  652. Honk If You Like Wetlands
  653. Honk if you love cheeses
  654. Honk if you love Jesus
  655. Honk If you love me
  656. Honk if you love peace and quiet
  657. Honk if you love traffic
  658. Honk If You Think I'm Jesus
  659. Honk if you're horny
  660. Honk if you're illiterate
  661. Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window
  662. Honk if you've slept with Clinton
  663. Honk if you've slept with Commander Riker!
  664. Honk If You Are Codependent
  665. Honor Mother Earth
  666. Honor Treaty Rights
  667. Horn broke - watch for finger
  668. Housing Is A Right Not A Privilege
  669. How can God Bless America when we kicked HIM out of our Schools?
  670. How can I miss you if you won't go away?
  671. How Dense Can We Get?
  672. How do you steam clams? Make fun of their religion.
  673. How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost
  674. How Sad - Kids run wild & dogs go to Obedience School
  675. How’s my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SH**
  676. How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-PHOTONS
  677. Hug Your Kids at Home and Belt Them in the Car (seatbelt, that is)
  678. Hugs Not Drugs
  679. Hugs not Jugs
  680. Humans Aren't The Only Species On Earth - We Just Act Like It
  681. Humor - Never leave home without it
  682. Humpty Dumpty was pushed
  683. Hungry and out of work? Eat an environmentalist
  684. Husband and dog missing, reward for dog!
  685. Husbands Are Proof That Women Have a Sense of Humor.
  686. I accelerate for attorneys
  687. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
  688. I am a slow moving disciple of the Swami Procrastinada
  689. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
  690. I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be assimi... Oooh! Donuts!
  691. I am in love with me
  692. I am in total control, but don't tell my wife!
  693. I am lost but I am making record time
  694. I am not a housewife, I am a domestic engineer
  695. I am not sincere, even when I say I am not
  696. I am not unemployed, I am a consultant
  697. I am perfectly sane, and so am I
  698. I am so good that during sex I call my own name
  699. I am sweet and lovable at all times
  700. I baked the Pillsbury doughboy!
  701. I believe Linda Tripp
  702. I believe Paula
  703. I Believe Rush Limbaugh...2+2=5
  704. I Brake for Animals
  705. I brake for bingo
  706. I brake for Elvis
  707. I brake for garage sales
  708. I brake for hallucinations
  709. I Brake for Holograms
  710. I Brake for Lunch
  711. I brake for no apparent reason
  712. I brake for nobody
  713. I Brake for Tailgaters!
  714. I Brake for Unicorns
  715. I brake for whales
  716. I came, I saw, I did a little shopping
  717. I can handle pain until it hurts
  718. I can resist everything except temptation
  719. I can see clearly now, my brain is gone...
  720. I can't go to work today - the voices said "stay home and clean the guns"
  721. I Cayman went
  722. I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder
  723. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian!
  724. I didn't hit it; it hit me!
  725. I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me
  726. I Do Whatever The Little Voices Tell Me To Do
  727. I Don't Believe the Liberal Media
  728. I don't care if I'm apathetic
  729. I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be
  730. I don't care, I don't have to
  731. I Don't Eat Anything With A Face
  732. I don't have a license to kill - I have a learner's permit
  733. I don't have a solution but I admire the problem
  734. I don't have to be dead to donate my organ
  735. I Don't Know, And I Don't *Wanna'* Know!
  736. I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily
  737. I Don't Love Clinton
  738. I don't need a co-pilot
  739. I Don't Need Therapy, I Need Money
  740. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
  741. I don't suffer from stress...I'm a carrier
  742. I drink to make other people interesting
  743. I drive Route 29 - Pray for me
  744. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
  745. I eat my roadkill
  746. I eat tofu and I vote
  747. I embarrass my offspring
  748. I failed attitude in school
  749. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe
  750. I fight poverty - I work
  751. I fish! Therefore, I lie
  752. I found it
  753. I gave up drinking, smoking and sex. Worst 15 minutes of my life
  754. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
  755. I go from zero to horny in six beers
  756. I got a gun for my wife...best trade I ever made
  757. I got laid by a mason
  758. I got leid in Hawaii
  759. I had sex with Clinton, too!
  760. I Have PMS And I Have A Gun!
  761. I haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister
  762. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months...I don't like to interrupt her
  763. I hit people who brake for animals
  764. I intend to live forever - so far, so good
  765. I is a college graduate
  766. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory
  767. I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back
  768. I just want to be a non-conformist like everybody else
  769. I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die
  770. I killed Kenny
  771. I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself
  772. I know the future... God wins!
  773. I like two kinds of women: domestic and foreign
  774. I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles
  775. I look better on a woman!
  776. I Love Animals . . . They're Delicious
  777. I Love Assault Weapons
  778. I love cats...they taste just like chicken
  779. I love Daddy's Money
  780. I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
  781. I Love Explosives!
  782. I Love Gridlock
  783. I love my country but I fear my government
  784. I love my Tribble!
  785. I love Unicorns
  786. I Make Sh** Happen
  787. I may be drunk, but in the morning, I'll be sober and you'll still be ugly
  788. I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight
  789. I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you
  790. I may make mistakes but being wrong isn't one of them!
  791. I miss my ex-husband....but my aim is getting better!
  792. I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
  793. I Never Signed a Contract On America
  794. I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go
  795. I own Hell - my wife gave it to me this morning
  796. I remember when motorcycles were dangerous and sex was safe!
  797. I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen
  798. I SHALL RETURN...Well, I might
  799. I slow for radar guns
  800. I snatch kisses (and vice versa)
  801. I souport publik edekasion
  802. I speed up for animals
  803. I spent my tax cut on a bumper sticker
  804. I started out with nothing. I still have most of it left.
  805. I (state your name) promise not to tailgate again
  806. I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is getting better
  807. I still miss my wife But my aim is improving
  808. I Suffer From C.M.S. - Can't Rembember Sh**
  809. I Support Breast Cancer Research
  810. I survived Roe v. Wade
  811. I Swerve And Hit People At Random
  812. I think I could fall madly in bed with you
  813. I think you left the stove on
  814. I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it
  815. I Think, Therefore I Don't Listen To Rush Limbaugh
  816. I took an IQ test and the results were negative
  817. I traded my wife for this car.... SUCH A DEAL!
  818. I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose
  819. I tried to smoke some hash, but the corned beef wouldn't light!
  820. I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
  821. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
  822. I USED TO HAVE MONEY....NOW I HAVE HORSES
  823. I used to live for sex Now I'd die for some
  824. I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead
  825. I VOTE PRO-CHOICE
  826. I VOTE PRO-LIFE
  827. I voted for Elvis
  828. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
  829. I was a Democrat. Then I got a job
  830. I was on the Grassy Knoll
  831. I will kick your ass if I have to!
  832. I wish I was Barbie...that bitch has everything!
  833. I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges
  834. I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it
  835. I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac
  836. I'd be a bitch if I was nicer
  837. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous
  838. I'd kill Flipper for a tuna fish sandwich
  839. I'd rather be dancing
  840. I'd Rather Be Driving A Golf Ball
  841. I'd Rather be Driving my Tank
  842. I'd rather be flying
  843. I'd Rather Be Naked
  844. I'd Rather Be Right Than Politically Correct
  845. I'd rather be skiing
  846. I'd Rather Be Smashing Imperialism
  847. I'd Rather Be Spanking The Monkey!
  848. I'd rather be telecommuting
  849. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy
  850. IF -- A two letter word for futility
  851. If all else fails - Lower your Standards
  852. If all else fails, throw up
  853. If a**holes could fly, you'd be a JET
  854. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
  855. If at first you don't succeed - cheat
  856. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
  857. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  858. If Christ is the answer, what's the question?
  859. If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
  860. If Evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve
  861. If girls are made of sugar and spice, how come they smell like tuna fish?
  862. If God exists -- that’s his problem
  863. If God Is Your Co-Pilot, Switch Seats
  864. If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will shoot their kids accidentally
  865. If I have to explain, you wouldn't understand
  866. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms
  867. If I Were In An F-16, I'd Be Home By Now
  868. If I'd Of Known Grandchildren Were This Much Fun, I'd Of Had Them First
  869. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic
  870. If It Can't Be Grown, It Has To Be Mined
  871. If it feels good - do it
  872. If it swells, ride it!
  873. If It Works Don't Fix It
  874. If it's too loud, you're too old
  875. If Jesus was a Jew how come he has a Puerto Rican name?
  876. If Men Could Have Abortions, It Would Be a Sacrament
  877. If money could talk, it would say goodbye
  878. If people lead, leaders will follow
  879. If Progress Means To Move Forward, What Does Congress Mean?
  880. If Rush Is Right, I'll Take What's Left
  881. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong!
  882. If something goes without saying, LET IT!
  883. If Superman is so smart, why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
  884. If the people will lead, the leaders will follow
  885. If there is a tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
  886. If They Can Put a Man on the Moon, Why Can't They Put Them All There!
  887. If They're So Safe, Test Them In Paris!
  888. If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me
  889. If this van’s rockin’, don't come knocking
  890. If war is optional, it's murder
  891. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
  892. If we can send a man to the moon, why can't we send Newt?
  893. If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
  894. If you are psychic - think "HONK"
  895. If you can read this - you're too damn close!
  896. If You Can Read This Bumper Sticker, You're In Range
  897. If you can read this, thank a teacher
  898. If you can read this, you cannot be a New York City Cab Driver!
  899. If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?
  900. If You Can't Change Your Mind Are You Sure You Still Have One?
  901. If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bulls**t
  902. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets
  903. If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly
  904. If you can't say something nice, say something surreal
  905. If You Can't Trust Me With a Choice, How Can You Trust Me With a Child?
  906. If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
  907. If you do things in the same old way, you'll be the same old broke
  908. If you don't like the news, go out and make some
  909. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk
  910. If you don't like the way I drive, you should see me putt
  911. If you drink like a fish, swim, don't drive
  912. If you feel attacked by feminism, it's probably a counter attack
  913. If you get any closer - introduce yourself!
  914. If you have wet dreams take an umbrella to bed with you
  915. If you knew what you were doing, you'd be bored
  916. If You Liked Hanoi Jane, You'll Love Moscow Willie
  917. If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now
  918. If you love Buddah, clap one hand
  919. If You Love Jesus, Tithe - Any Fool Can Honk
  920. If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it
  921. If you make it idiot proof, someone will just come along and make a better idiot
  922. If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi
  923. If you smoke after having sex, you're doing it WAY too fast...
  924. If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast
  925. If You Think Health Care Is Expensive Now, Wait Till It's Free
  926. If you think "Our Father In Heaven" is angry, wait 'till mom finds out!
  927. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance
  928. If You Think The System Is Working Ask Someone Who Isn't
  929. If you think this truck is dirty, try a night with the driver
  930. If you voted for change, better start counting it
  931. If you voted for Clinton YOU must have inhaled
  932. If You Want A Country Run By Religion - Move To Iran
  933. If you want a stable relationship, get a horse
  934. If you want rainbows, chase storms
  935. If you want to g-e-t you've got to a-s-k
  936. If you want to go to heaven, turn right and go straight
  937. If you were driving an F-14 you'd be home by now
  938. If you’re close enough to read this than BACK OFF!
  939. If you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass
  940. If You're Not Outraged, You're Not Paying Attention
  941. If you're rich, I'm single
  942. IF: A two-letter word for futility
  943. Ignore the media -- Think for Yourself
  944. I'LL DO ANYTHING ONCE (Twice If I Like It)
  945. I'm a bitch because men like you made me one
  946. I'm a blonde, what's your excuse?
  947. I'm A Friend of Bill W.
  948. I'm A Miracle
  949. I'm a virgin
  950. I'm already married, but thanks for the proposal
  951. I'm an imbecile and I vote
  952. I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar
  953. I'm busy now. Do you mind if I ignore you later?
  954. I'm dirty, and proud of it!
  955. I'm dyslexic, so's my husband, together we do 96
  956. I'm From the Government. I'm Here to Help You
  957. I'm going nuckin futs
  958. I'M HUGE
  959. I’m in no shape to exercise
  960. I'm just driving this way to piss you off
  961. I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing
  962. I'm not a dirty old man - I’m a sexy senior citizen
  963. I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. It's because I hate
  964. I'm not as dumb as you look
  965. I'm not as think as you drunk I am
  966. I'm not broke, just badly bent
  967. I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week
  968. I'm not deaf - I'm ignoring you
  969. I'm not from Texas, but I got here as fast as I could
  970. I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am
  971. I'm OK. You're So-So
  972. I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
  973. I'm pro-accordian and I vote
  974. I'm Pro-Choice and I Pray
  975. I'm Pro Choice and I Vote
  976. I'm Pro Life and I Vote
  977. I'm Pro Lifejacket And I Boat
  978. I'm Pro-Choice. I choose to - eat meat - hunt - fish - trap - wear fur
  979. I'm ready for sex of one kind and half dozen of the other
  980. I'm Shy
  981. I'm so horny the crack of dawn better watch out
  982. I'm spending my kids' inheritance
  983. I'm Straight But Not Narrow
  984. I'm surrounded by idiots
  985. I'm the Christian the devil warned you about!
  986. I'm the guy your mother warned you about
  987. I'm up and dressed. What more do you want?
  988. Imagine No Handguns
  989. Impeach Hillary
  990. Impeach the president....and her husband too!
  991. Improve Your Image - Be Seen With Me
  992. In case of rapture - Can I have your car?
  993. In case of rapture, this car will be UNMANNED!
  994. In GARLIC we trust
  995. In God we trust; all others pay cash
  996. In Goddess we trust
  997. In Guns We Trust - E Pluribus Bang
  998. In search of the eternal buzz
  999. In the stronghold of women I plan an uprising.
  1000. Incest - a game the whole family can play
  1001. Inhale to the chief
  1002. Insanity is hereditary - You get it from your children
  1003. Insured by the Mafia You hit me - WE hit you
  1004. Intel: Where Quality Is Job 0.999999999
  1005. Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac
  1006. Invest In America - Buy A Smith & Wesson
  1007. Invest In America...Buy A Congressman
  1008. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got
  1009. Is a tramp without legs a low down bum.
  1010. Is there intelligent life on earth ? Yes, but I’m only visiting!
  1011. Is there life before coffee?
  1012. Is there life before death?
  1013. Isis! Isis! Ra! Ra! Ra!
  1014. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats
  1015. It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
  1016. "It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God or the Bible" George Washington
  1017. IT TAKES A VILLAGE....to find my car keys
  1018. IT TAKES A VILLAGE....to raise an idiot
  1019. It takes leather balls to play rugby
  1020. It was a mixed marriage; I'm Jewish, he's a Klingon..
  1021. It's a Child, not a choice
  1022. It's A Good Day to Pow Wow
  1023. It's A Small Planet, Recycle
  1024. It's bad luck to be superstitious
  1025. It's been lovely, but I have to scream now
  1026. It's difficult to soar with eagles when you work with turkeys
  1027. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better
  1028. It’s maintenance free. You can’t fix it
  1029. It's Never OK To Hit A Child
  1030. It's Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood
  1031. It's not a bald spot. It's a solar panel for a sex machine
  1032. It's not a hot flash, it's a power surge
  1033. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere
  1034. It's not how deep you fish, its how you wiggle your worm
  1035. It's not justice, it's just court
  1036. It's not pretty being easy
  1037. It's not whether you pick your nose, it's where you put the boogers
  1038. It's OK not to Drink
  1039. It's OK to Pray
  1040. It's only a game until you lose
  1041. It's Only Kinky The First Time
  1042. It's spending, stupid!
  1043. It's Time For Another Magical Mystery Tour
  1044. It's time to pull over and change the air in your head
  1045. It’s Your Zipper, Stupid!
  1046. I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead
  1047. Jack and Jill did it for insurance
  1048. Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
  1049. Jail to the Chief
  1050. Japanese Cadillac
  1051. Jaywalkers: Step Out And Meet Jesus
  1052. Jesus - Protect me from your followers
  1053. Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy bumper sticker
  1054. Jesus is coming... look busy
  1055. Jesus is Coming; I have him in the trunk!
  1056. Jesus is the reason for the season
  1057. Jesus Lives
  1058. Jesus lives - Does this mean we don't get an Easter Holiday again?
  1059. Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an a**hole
  1060. Jesus may love you, but he won't respect you in the morning
  1061. Jesus paid for our sins...now let's get our money's worth
  1062. Jesus Saves
  1063. JESUS SAVES....Gretzky gets the rebound, HE SCORES!
  1064. Jesus Saves...String
  1065. Jesus The Way The Truth The Life
  1066. Jesus Was A Liberal
  1067. Jobs With Justice
  1068. Join the Army and kill interesting people
  1069. Join the Marines -- intervene in the country of your choice
  1070. JOIN US!
  1071. Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I
  1072. Just do it
  1073. Just hand over the chocolate and nobody gets hurt
  1074. Just say No
  1075. Just Say No To One Word Solutions
  1076. Just Say No To Pesticides - Buy Organically Grown Food
  1077. Just Say No To Ritalin
  1078. Just Say No To Sex With Pro-Lifers
  1079. Just say Thanks
  1080. Just say Yes
  1081. Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats
  1082. Just When You Thought Life's a Bitch, It Has Puppies
  1083. Keep Abortion Legal & Safe
  1084. Keep Coming Back
  1085. Keep Grandma Off The Streets .... Support Bingo
  1086. Keep honkin' I'm loadin' my gun!!
  1087. Keep Hope Alive
  1088. Keep Coming Back
  1089. Keep It Simple
  1090. Keep It Simple Stupid
  1091. Keep Montana Poodle-Free
  1092. Keep our privates straight
  1093. Keep Working: Millions On Welfare Are Depending On You
  1094. Keep your eyes off my independent suspension
  1095. Keep your faith in God, but keep your gun loaded
  1096. Keep Your Laws Off My Body
  1097. Kennedy for Lifeguard
  1098. Kevorkian for Surgeon General
  1099. Kids need encouragement everyday
  1100. Kids Need Praise Every Day
  1101. Kids who hunt, fish and trap don't mug grandmothers
  1102. Kill It & Grill It
  1103. Kill them all...Let God sort them out
  1104. Kill Your Television
  1105. Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the entire chicken
  1106. Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic
  1107. Kiss The Crack Below My Back
  1108. Kissing a Smoker is like Licking an Ashtray
  1109. La vida es corta. No corras. (Life is short. Don't run.)
  1110. Ladies Sewing Circle And Terrorist Society
  1111. Land Rights for Gay Whales
  1112. Last in the talent show, but first in the swimsuit competition
  1113. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot
  1114. Laugh at your problems, everyone else does
  1115. Laughing stock: cattle with a good sense of humor
  1116. Law of the Old West: Smith and Wesson beats four aces
  1117. Lawyers do it in their briefs
  1118. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself
  1119. Lead, Follow, Or Get Out Of The Way
  1120. Lean, Mean, Flameout Machine
  1121. Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control
  1122. Leave no turn unstoned
  1123. Leave O.J. Alone!
  1124. Legalize Freedom
  1125. Legitimize Bastardy!
  1126. Let an Electrician Remove Your Shorts
  1127. Let the Spotted Owl Pay Your Taxes
  1128. Let Go & Let God
  1129. Let Go Of My Ears.......I Know What I'm Doing!
  1130. Let me tell you about my bowel movements
  1131. Let me tell you about my grandchildren
  1132. Let's be Friends
  1133. Let's Cure AIDS
  1134. Let's do it
  1135. Let's Get Out of Lebanon
  1136. LET'S KEEP PBS AND PRIVATIZE PRESSLER
  1137. Let's you and him fight
  1138. Lick my chimp!
  1139. Life is a buffet...so eat me!
  1140. Life is a series of rude awakenings
  1141. Life is like a box of melted chocolates
  1142. Life is like a pubic hair on the toilet seat - eventually you get pissed off
  1143. Life is sexually transmitted
  1144. LIFE, The Choice of the NEXT GENERATION!
  1145. Life's a beach, and then you drown
  1146. Life's a bitch, then you die
  1147. Life's a bitch, then you marry one
  1148. Life's a witch and then you fly
  1149. Life's too short to dance with ugly men
  1150. Life's too short to dance with ugly women
  1151. Lighten Up
  1152. Listen To Women - For A Change
  1153. Little Red Riding Hood Is A Russian Contraceptive
  1154. Live Aloha
  1155. Live and Let Live
  1156. Live before you die
  1157. Live Better, Work Union
  1158. Live long enough to become a burden to your kids
  1159. Live Simply So That Others May Simply Live
  1160. Live So The Preacher Won't Have To Lie At Your Funeral
  1161. Lobotomies For Liberals - It's Natural
  1162. Lobotomies for Republicans - It's the Law
  1163. Localize Government
  1164. Look out! Behind you!
  1165. Look! This sticker says F*** on it!
  1166. Lord save me from your followers
  1167. Lord, if I can't be skinny please let my friends be fat
  1168. Lose a few, lose a few
  1169. Loss Vegas
  1170. Lost your cat? Try looking under my tires
  1171. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math
  1172. Love Animals Don't Eat Them
  1173. Love is all it takes to make a family
  1174. Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener
  1175. Love is three minutes of squelching noises
  1176. Love Makes A Family
  1177. Love makes the world go round
  1178. LOVE SEES ALL COLOR
  1179. Love Shouldn't Kill, Help Prevent And Cure AIDS
  1180. Love thy neighbor -- regularly
  1181. Love Your Mother
  1182. Lubricated ball joints
  1183. Lutheran Schools Share Christ
  1184. MADD Mothers Against Deceitful Democrats
  1185. MADD Mothers Against Drunk Drivers
  1186. Madness takes its toll - please have exact change
  1187. Mafia Staff Car - Keepa You Hands Off!
  1188. Magic Happens
  1189. MAINE Stickah f' the bumpah
  1190. Make a wish and let the universe handle the details
  1191. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
  1192. Make love not war - it's cheaper
  1193. Make love not war... or get married and do both
  1194. Make Me Late for Work
  1195. Make Polluters Pay
  1196. Make your wife angry during sex: call her up
  1197. Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have sh*tty time
  1198. Man who fights with wife all day, gets no piece at night
  1199. Manatees bend props
  1200. Manure Happens
  1201. Marriage can damage your health!
  1202. Marriage is grand, divorce is $20 Grand!
  1203. Marriage: the chief cause of divorce
  1204. Master Baiter
  1205. Masturbation is a waste of f***ing time
  1206. Masturbation is great -- and you don't have to take your hand out to dinner
  1207. Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence
  1208. May All Be Fed, End World Hunger
  1209. May make mistakes but being wrong isn't one of them
  1210. May the Porsche be with you
  1211. McBorgers: Over 50 trillion assimilated
  1212. ME FOR PRESIDENT '96
  1213. Mean & Clean
  1214. Mean people kick ass
  1215. Mean people suck. Nice people swallow!
  1216. Meat Is Dead
  1217. Meat is Murder
  1218. Meat Makes Me Sick
  1219. Media Are Only As Liberal As The Conservative Businesses That Own Them
  1220. Memo to dogs - the world is full of trees
  1221. Men Are Not Pigs - Pigs Are Wonderful
  1222. Men Can Stop Rape
  1223. Men May Control the World, But Can They Fake Orgasms?
  1224. Men Of Quality Respect Women's Equality
  1225. Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
  1226. Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay
  1227. Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
  1228. Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
  1229. Minds Are Like Parachutes - They Only Function When Open
  1230. Mini skirts are touching bottom
  1231. Miracles do not happen
  1232. Miracles happen
  1233. Misery is optional
  1234. Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires
  1235. MizzouRAH!
  1236. Mom's taxi
  1237. Money and Materialism
  1238. Money Isn't Everything, But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch
  1239. Monkey pants!
  1240. Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
  1241. Montana - the last best place (to hide)
  1242. More God, Less Government
  1243. "More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
  1244. More Jobs? What About Less People?
  1245. More than three shakes is masturbation
  1246. Most People Suck
  1247. Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming
  1248. Mother-in-law in trunk
  1249. Mothering - a proud profession
  1250. MOVIE SIGN!
  1251. Mr. Cactus is a prick
  1252. Mulder and Scully in '96. The truth is out there!
  1253. Murder Is Not Pro-life
  1254. Murphy was an optimist
  1255. Mute Newt
  1256. My best friend is a social worker
  1257. My body is a temple. Come over for midnight mass
  1258. My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
  1259. My car is called flattery.... it gets me nowhere
  1260. My child has perfect attendance at State Prison
  1261. My child is an honor student at (name of school)
  1262. My child was inmate of the month at county jail
  1263. My God is alive, sorry about yours
  1264. My Goddess Gave Birth To Your God
  1265. My inner child is a mean little f***er
  1266. My Karma Ran Over Your Dogma
  1267. My kid and my money go to (name of university)
  1268. My Kid Beat The Crap Out Of Your Honor Student
  1269. My kid done gradeated 8th grade!
  1270. My kid got your honor student pregnant
  1271. My kid had sex with your honor student
  1272. My kid was inmate of the month at county jail
  1273. My lawyer can beat up your lawyer
  1274. My Mother was a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
  1275. My Other Car Has a Radio
  1276. My Other Car is a Bicycle
  1277. My Other Car is a Broom
  1278. My other car is a cloud!
  1279. My Other Car is a Horse
  1280. My other car is a Rolls Royce
  1281. My other car is a Zamboni
  1282. My other car is also a piece of sh**
  1283. My other car is at the IRS!
  1284. My other car is up my nose
  1285. My Other Car Was Impounded By The D.E.A
  1286. My other toy has tits
  1287. My other wife is beautiful
  1288. My Parents Think I'm in College
  1289. My reality check just bounced
  1290. My take home pay doesn't even take me home
  1291. My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's leaving. I'm sure gonna miss her
  1292. My Wife? Yes. My Dog? Maybe. My Gun? Never
  1293. National Health Care Now
  1294. Naturally blonde. Please speak slowly
  1295. Nature always bats last
  1296. NATURE HAPPENS
  1297. Nature Is Not A Religion
  1298. NAVY DIVER : At 190 Feet, No one can hear you SCREAM
  1299. Neighbors' cats make good hats
  1300. Never Another Battered Woman
  1301. Never change diapers in mid-stream
  1302. Never Drive FASTER Than Your Angels Can Fly
  1303. Never eat anything bigger than your head
  1304. Never eat more than you can lift
  1305. Never Ever Trust a Draft Dodger
  1306. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight
  1307. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
  1308. Never put off til tomorrow what you can avoid altogether
  1309. Never Shake A Baby
  1310. Never take away hope. It's all that some people have
  1311. Never take life seriously - nobody gets out alive anyway
  1312. Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups
  1313. New World Order Same Old Lies
  1314. Newt Happens
  1315. Newt says he's revolting...Who am I to argue?
  1316. Newt Took Out A Contract On America
  1317. Newter Gingrich
  1318. Nice Girls Need it Too
  1319. Nixon Has A Staff Infection
  1320. Nixon in '88 -- Tanned, Rested, and Ready
  1321. Nixon in '96 -- They Said He Was Dead Before
  1322. No Fear
  1323. No Grey Poupon In Vehicle
  1324. No guts, no glory, no brain, same story
  1325. No Jesus, No peace, Know Jesus, Know peace.
  1326. No Justice/No Peace
  1327. No Matter Where You Go, There You Are
  1328. No money in this vehicle, Driver is married
  1329. No More Blood For Oil
  1330. No Newts is Good Newts
  1331. No Nukes
  1332. No Offshore Drilling
  1333. No One Is Free When Others Are Oppressed
  1334. No Pain No Gain
  1335. No Radio - Already Stolen
  1336. No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
  1337. No Tan Lines
  1338. No U.S. Intervention In Women's Wombs
  1339. Nobody empties a tomb like Jesus
  1340. Nobody For President
  1341. Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.
  1342. Nonconformists are all alike
  1343. None For The Road
  1344. Not All Men are Fools. Some are Bachelors
  1345. Not All Who Wander Are Lost
  1346. Not Insane
  1347. Nothing in the universe travels faster than a bad check
  1348. Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool
  1349. Nothing is illegal until you get caught
  1350. Now Entering a Clinton-Free Zone
  1351. Now entering Utah. Please set your clocks back 20 years
  1352. Nuclear Free Zone
  1353. Nuclear Waste Is Our Gift To The Future
  1354. Nuke a Gay Baby Whale for Christ
  1355. Nuke the Whales!
  1356. Nurses do it with patience
  1357. O.J. - Guilty!
  1358. Obscenity is the crutch of the inarticulate motherf***er
  1359. Odo's Gym: Get In Shape, Any Shape
  1360. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
  1361. Official Federation Transport Vehicle
  1362. OH, BITE ME, IT'S FUN
  1363. Oh, Evolve!
  1364. Oh, So That Explains The Difference In Our Salaries
  1365. Oink if you love Rush
  1366. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
  1367. OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
  1368. Old age is better than the alternative
  1369. Old Skiers Never Die. They Just go Downhill
  1370. On the other hand, you have different fingers
  1371. Once Is Not Enough. Recycle!
  1372. One Day at a Time
  1373. 186,000 miles per second-it's not just a good idea, it's the law!
  1374. One nuclear family can ruin your whole life
  1375. One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day
  1376. One Planet One Future
  1377. One Term Or Less
  1378. Only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles
  1379. Only Crooked Politicians Fear Armed Citizens
  1380. Only half the patients that enter an abortion clinic come out alive
  1381. Only Michael Jackson is more manly
  1382. Only the weak don't eat
  1383. Onward through the fog!
  1384. Open your mind
  1385. Organists pull out all the stops doing it
  1386. Organize
  1387. Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!
  1388. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
  1389. Out of My Uterus
  1390. Out of Nicaragua
  1391. Outside of Society
  1392. Overnight success usually takes about 15 years
  1393. Overpopulation... too much of a good thing
  1394. Oyster catchers do it with mussel power
  1395. Pagan Missionary
  1396. Pain Is Optional
  1397. Paper From Paper - Not From Trees
  1398. Pardon my driving. I'm reloading
  1399. Parents of University Student. Don't honk, throw money!
  1400. Patients, not profits
  1401. Pave the Bay
  1402. Peace
  1403. Peace is Disarming
  1404. Peace On Earth - Good Will Towards Women
  1405. Peace On Earth Begins At Home. End Domestic Abuse
  1406. Peace thru music
  1407. People Against Nude Chimps
  1408. People Is Wrong?
  1409. People, not profits
  1410. People say I have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!
  1411. PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals
  1412. Photographers do it in the dark
  1413. Picard and Riker '92
  1414. Piss Off The Liberals - Buy a Gun
  1415. Plants and animals disappear to make room for your fat ass
  1416. Plead the Fifth - or drink it
  1417. Please honk if you would like to see my finger
  1418. Please, God, Give Me One More Oil Boom And I Promise I Won't Piss It All Away
  1419. PMS - Putting up with Men's Sh**
  1420. Political Correctness Is Orwellian
  1421. Politicians And Diapers Need To Be Changed - Often For The Same Reason
  1422. Politicians do it to everyone
  1423. Politicians love gun control
  1424. POP ROCKS KILLED MIKEY
  1425. Poverty is Owning a Horse
  1426. Poverty Is Violence
  1427. Poverty Sucks
  1428. Practice Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty
  1429. Practice random production and senseless acts of consumption
  1430. Practice safe eating - use condiments
  1431. Pray for me. My husband collects trains.
  1432. Pray for O.J.
  1433. Pray for Snow
  1434. Pray for Surf
  1435. Pray or become Prey
  1436. PREPARE FOR THE COMING OF THE MESSIAH
  1437. Prevent inbreeding: ban country music
  1438. Pride is what we have...Vanity is what others have
  1439. Pro-Child Pro-Choice Pro-Family
  1440. Pro-Choice! A nice way to say murder.
  1441. Pro Choice And Proud Of It
  1442. Pro-Choice. Keep Abortion Safe & Legal
  1443. Pro-Choice. Pro-Child. Every Child A Wanted Child
  1444. Pro-Choice? That's A Lie! Babies Don't Choose To Die
  1445. Professionals are predictable - amateurs are DANGEROUS!
  1446. Professors do it by degrees
  1447. Promote Morality
  1448. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out
  1449. Prosecutors will be violated
  1450. Protect Our Environment
  1451. Protect your family from the Christian Coalition
  1452. PROTECT YOURSELF - PACK A HANDGUN
  1453. PROUD MEMBER: VAST RIGHT-WING CONSPIRACY
  1454. Proud to be Union
  1455. Provide A Home - Not a Litter
  1456. Psychedelicize Suburbia
  1457. Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.
  1458. Purranoia: the fear that your cats are up to Something!
  1459. PUSH, PASS OR GET OFF MY ASS!
  1460. Put brain in gear before engaging mouth
  1461. Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of
  1462. Quasimodo - that name rings a bell
  1463. Question Assumptions
  1464. Question Authority
  1465. Question Internal Combustion
  1466. Question Reality
  1467. Quit Sniveling
  1468. Quit Whining And Start Living Your Life
  1469. Quitcherbitchin
  1470. Racists eat poo!
  1471. Radical Capitalist
  1472. Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down
  1473. Random Breast Testing Unit
  1474. Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
  1475. Reach out and touch someone`s
  1476. Reagan -- the great communicator, Clinton -- the great fabricator
  1477. Reaganomins is Trojan Horses**t
  1478. Real doctors don't kill babies
  1479. Real men don't set for stun
  1480. Real Men Don't Use Violence
  1481. Real men love Jesus
  1482. Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges
  1483. Real women drive trucks
  1484. Real women ride motorcycles
  1485. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs
  1486. Reality is for people who lack imagination
  1487. Reality Is Good
  1488. Reality is Subjective
  1489. Reality is when it happens to you
  1490. Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
  1491. Recession - Made in Japan
  1492. Recycle
  1493. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Restore
  1494. Rehab is for quitters
  1495. Relax God's In Charge
  1496. Religion Stops a Thinking Mind
  1497. Religious Cult: The church down the street from yours
  1498. Religious Freedom Means Any Religion
  1499. Religious Groups: Stay Out of Politics or Be Taxed
  1500. Remember Waco
  1501. Rental car: the only true all-terrain vehicle
  1502. Reproductive Rights For All Women
  1503. Rescue The Rainforests
  1504. Research causes cancer in rats
  1505. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does
  1506. Rich Bitch
  1507. Road kill -- the other white meat
  1508. Robin Hood was a terrorist
  1509. Robin Hood Was Right
  1510. Role/Hemp
  1511. Root Boy Slim Still Owes Me Money
  1512. Rugby players do it in packs
  1513. Rugby players do it with odd-shaped balls
  1514. Rugby players eat their dead
  1515. RUGBY PLAYERS EAT THEIR YOUNG
  1516. Rush is Reich
  1517. Rush is right!
  1518. Rush Is Righteous!
  1519. Rush Is Wrong!
  1520. Russian Castration by I. Kutchanutzov
  1521. Sailors get blown offshore
  1522. Same roads, same rights, same rules
  1523. Same sh** different day
  1524. Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
  1525. Save a Logger. Eat a Spotted Owl
  1526. Save a mouse...Eat a Pu***
  1527. Save a Tree - Eat a Beaver
  1528. Save America - Impeach Clinton
  1529. Save America - Impeach Hillary
  1530. Save America - Vote Republican
  1531. SAVE AMERICAN JOBS
  1532. Save California: when you leave take someone with you
  1533. Save Endangered Species
  1534. Save Our Salmon
  1535. Save Social Security--Vote Democrat
  1536. Save the baby humans
  1537. Save the Bay
  1538. Save The Humans
  1539. Save the Males
  1540. Save the manatee
  1541. Save The Planet? Heck, Just Save Me A Cowboy
  1542. Save The Planet - Kill Yourself
  1543. Save The Rainforest
  1544. Save the Vampire -- Protect an endangering species
  1545. Save the whales. Collect the whole set
  1546. Saw it… Wanted it… Had a fit… Got it!
  1547. Say it with flowers - hit her with a bouquet
  1548. Say NO to deceptive alien entities
  1549. Say NO to Drugs and YES to JESUS
  1550. Say No to Gun Control - Give Piece A Chance
  1551. Scixelsyd Etinu
  1552. Screw Guilt
  1553. SCREW THE NAYSAYERS!
  1554. Scuba divers Do It Under Water
  1555. See how you can be?
  1556. See one nuclear war and you've seen them all
  1557. See the atomic blonde blasted into maternity by a guided muscle
  1558. See What Happens When 64% of the Population Doesn't Vote?
  1559. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it
  1560. Self Righteousness. The Unforgivable Sin
  1561. Send Clinton to Mexico, not my job!
  1562. Sex and Gore, out in four
  1563. Sex appeal - please give generously
  1564. Sex Education *IS* Birth Control
  1565. Sex instructor - first lesson free!
  1566. Sex is a misdemeanor. . . The more I miss it, the meaner I get!!
  1567. Sex is hereditary. If your parents didn't have it, chances are, you won't either
  1568. Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any
  1569. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer
  1570. Sex kills - die happy
  1571. Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off
  1572. Sexism Is A Social Disease
  1573. Share and enjoy
  1574. Share the road with a runner
  1575. She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower
  1576. Shhhhh! This sticker is really Odo
  1577. Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark
  1578. Sh** Happens
  1579. Shoot Pushers; Not Dope!
  1580. Shush Rush
  1581. Shut up and drive!
  1582. Silt Happens
  1583. Since things get better with age I am approaching magnificent
  1584. Single and Conservative: Looking for Mr. Right
  1585. Single Payer Health Care
  1586. Single With Children
  1587. Skateboarding is NOT a crime
  1588. Ski Naked
  1589. Slaves "R" Us - The New World Order
  1590. Slick Willie World Tour 1969 Back in the U.S.S.R
  1591. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips
  1592. Smile! Your mom was pro-life
  1593. Smoke dope, dodge the draft, cheat on your wife, become President
  1594. Smokey says strip mining prevents forest fires
  1595. Snatch a kiss, or vice versa
  1596. So many idiots, so few comets
  1597. So many idols - One True God
  1598. So many lawyers, so few bullets
  1599. So many pedestrians, so little time
  1600. So many recipes, so few cats
  1601. So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
  1602. Soccer Players do it in the dirt
  1603. Socialism Is Hell
  1604. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them
  1605. Someone I love was killed by a drunk driver
  1606. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep
  1607. Sometimes You Must Believe Before You Can See
  1608. Sorry, I don't date outside my species
  1609. Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes
  1610. Spoons are for Stirring Coffee
  1611. Spotted owl tastes just like chicken
  1612. Stable relationships are for horses
  1613. Stamp Out Crime - Abolish the IRS
  1614. Stamp out Flamenco
  1615. Start a new movement - eat prunes
  1616. Start Seeing Bicycles
  1617. Starve the Mosquitoes, give blood to your local Red Cross Chapter
  1618. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.
  1619. Stop Continental Drift
  1620. Stop crime. Shoot back
  1621. Stop Global Whining
  1622. Stop Gun Control - Because Freedom is a Terrible Thing to Waste
  1623. Stop Hate Crimes Honor Diversity
  1624. Stop honking - I'm trying to reload!
  1625. Stop Nuclear Testing Now
  1626. Stop Poverty - Nuke The IRS
  1627. Stop Racist Attacks
  1628. Stop repeat offenders - don't re-elect them
  1629. Stop the Violence -- or I'll Kill You
  1630. Stop the Violins
  1631. Stop The War Against Women
  1632. Stop The War On The West
  1633. Straight but not narrow
  1634. Strip Mining prevents Forest Fires
  1635. Strive To Be Unique - Find Yourself Alone
  1636. Stupid People Shouldn't Breed
  1637. Subvert The Dominant Paradigm
  1638. Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake
  1639. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have
  1640. Support Family Planning
  1641. Support Mental Health, or I'll Kill You!
  1642. Support Organic Farmers
  1643. Support Our Troops
  1644. Support Search and Rescue - Get Lost
  1645. Support wild life - have an orgy
  1646. Support women's lib - make him sleep on the wet spot
  1647. Support Your Local Economy, Sustainable Economic Power
  1648. Support Your Local Extra-Terrestrial
  1649. Support Your Local Feminist
  1650. Support your local hooker - Play Rugby
  1651. Support Your Local Planet
  1652. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE--BREAK A CAMCORDER
  1653. Support your right to arm bears
  1654. Surf Colorado
  1655. Surf or Die
  1656. Take A Bite Out of Crime: Shoot the Bastard
  1657. Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
  1658. Teach Ayn Rand
  1659. Teach Peace
  1660. Teach Respect For The Earth And All Living Creatures
  1661. Ted Kennedy's Car Has Killed More People Than My Gun
  1662. Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion
  1663. Television Is Drugs
  1664. Television Ruined My Life
  1665. Tell me to stuff it - I'm a taxidermist.
  1666. Telling an Old Person He's Useless Is Abortion on the Other End
  1667. Tennis is irrelevant - Bjorn of Borg
  1668. Tennis players have fuzzy balls
  1669. Termites were Noah's downfall
  1670. Thank God I am an Atheist
  1671. Thank God we don't get all the government we pay for
  1672. Thank you for pot smoking
  1673. Thanks Mom, I GOT BORN
  1674. The Artless Are In Charge Of Funding The Arts
  1675. The Arts Are Not A Luxury
  1676. The beatings will continue until morale improves
  1677. The Best Man For The Job Is A Woman
  1678. The best thing you can spend on your children is time
  1679. The best way to a man's heart is through his fly
  1680. The Big Bang Theory: God said it and bang it happened
  1681. The Death Penalty Is Dead Wrong
  1682. The difference between Genius and Stupidity is Genius has its limits
  1683. The Earth Can No Longer Afford The Rich
  1684. The Earth Doesn't Belong To Us, We Belong To The Earth
  1685. The first boat people were white
  1686. The Family That Prays Together Stays Together
  1687. The Freemen, Shouldn't Be
  1688. The future begins tomorrow
  1689. The gene pool could use a little chlorine
  1690. The Goddess Is Alive And Magic Is Afoot
  1691. The Ho Chi Minh Trail led to the White House
  1692. The Hole In The Ozone Is Directly Related To The Hole In Your Head
  1693. The Lord giveth and Clinton taketh away
  1694. The Lord knoweth where you live
  1695. The Moral Majority is Neither
  1696. The more I learn about men, the more I like my dog
  1697. The more people I meet the more I like my cat
  1698. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live
  1699. The More You Know The Less You Need
  1700. The most radical thing we can do is introduce people to one another
  1701. The Most Violent Element In Society Is Ignorance
  1702. The older I get, the better I was
  1703. The Only Mad Cow in America is Oprah
  1704. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
  1705. The purpose of life is to grow into our own perfection
  1706. The Right Is Wrong
  1707. The Road To Hell Is Paved With Republicans
  1708. The road to ruin is always kept in good repair
  1709. The second most thrilling thing - flying. The first - landing
  1710. The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette
  1711. The Ten Commandments! Not The Ten Suggestions
  1712. The trouble with political jokes is they get elected
  1713. The Truly Educated Never Graduate
  1714. The truly religious man does not embrace any religion
  1715. The Truth Is Out There
  1716. The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off
  1717. The war on poverty is over. Poverty won
  1718. The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful
  1719. The Welsh are Irishmen who learned to swim
  1720. The world is coming to an end. Please take the next exit.
  1721. The worst day fishing is better than the best day working
  1722. Thelma And Louise Live
  1723. There are 2 great secrets to success in life. The first is to not tell everything you know. ---
  1724. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
  1725. There are no atheists in foxholes
  1726. There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full
  1727. There is no gravity: the earth just sucks
  1728. There is no way to happiness, happiness IS the way
  1729. There is nothing so overrated as a bad f***, and nothing so underrated as a good Sh**
  1730. There is one in every crowd, and they always find me
  1731. There is only one difference between a madman and me: I am not mad
  1732. THERE ISN'T MUCH TO SEE IN A SMALL TOWN, BUT YOU SURE DO HEAR A LOT
  1733. There's a job for you in today's army. . . . . . Mine!
  1734. There's a lot to be said for brevity
  1735. There's No Government Like No Government
  1736. There's nothing worse than a know it all, especially to those of us who do
  1737. There's one in every crowd and they always find me
  1738. There's too much blood in my alcohol system
  1739. There's too much blood in my caffeine system
  1740. These pipes are clean!
  1741. They call girls birds because of the worms they pick up
  1742. They're not hot flashes; they're power surges!
  1743. Think Globally - Act Locally
  1744. Think Good Thoughts
  1745. Think Snow
  1746. Think while it's still legal!
  1747. This cab is cheaper than a DUI
  1748. This Car Insured By Smith and Wesson
  1749. This government is magic - watch it disappear at the next election
  1750. This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you
  1751. This is my way. What is your way? There is no the way
  1752. This is not an abandoned vehicle
  1753. This isn't Burger King. You can't have it your way
  1754. This Too Shall Pass
  1755. This traffic jam brought to you by 20 years of Republican leadership
  1756. This vehicle does not turn left on red
  1757. This Vehicle Insured by Smith & Wesson
  1758. This Vehicle Swerves and Hits Pedestrians at Random
  1759. Those aren't two pillows!
  1760. Those Who Abandon Their Dreams Will Discourage Yours
  1761. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't
  1762. Those who wait to seek God at the 11th hour die at 10:30
  1763. THOU SHALT NOT WHINE!
  1764. Three Stages of Sex: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly, Try Weakly
  1765. Three Things Keep Us Free - Gods, Guns & Rush
  1766. Time flies like knives, fruit flies like bananas
  1767. Time flies when you don't know what you're doing
  1768. Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
  1769. Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
  1770. Tired of the same old sh**? Make way for a new load of crap
  1771. To all you virgins: Thanks for nothing
  1772. To hell with the dog Beware of the owner
  1773. To pigeons all people are equal
  1774. To Thine Own Self Be True
  1775. Today is the first day of the rest of this mess
  1776. Tom Jones does it on the green green grass of home
  1777. Tomorrow is another day, but it'll suck too
  1778. Tomorrow is canceled due to lack of interest
  1779. Too Close for Missiles, Switching to Guns
  1780. Too soon old, too late smart
  1781. Tool-using Ape On Board
  1782. Torturing One Animal Is Cruelty, Torturing Many Animals Is Science?
  1783. Tow-ers will be violated
  1784. Toxic Pollution Makes Us All Endangered Species
  1785. Trade Unionists Weren't Born Democat, Republican or YESTERDAY
  1786. Triumph of style over substance
  1787. Try Jesus
  1788. Turn off TV Turn on life
  1789. Turn signal broken, watch for finger
  1790. Tweak the religious right
  1791. 24 hours in a day - 24 beers in a case - Coincidence?
  1792. Twinkie Power
  1793. Two fives beats a ten any day!
  1794. Two kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't
  1795. Two of the Most Abundant Elements on Earth: Hydrogen and Stupidity
  1796. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2
  1797. Two terms for Clinton, one in the White House, one in jail
  1798. U.S. Out Of My Uterus
  1799. Uff Da
  1800. UFO's Are Real - The Air Force Doesn't Exist
  1801. Ugly Strikes One Out of Three
  1802. Under Republicans, Man Exploited Man. Under Democrats, It’s Just The Opposite
  1803. Underachiever And Proud Of It
  1804. Underwater Construction Team - the deeper we go, the better it feels
  1805. Unilateral withdrawal is the answer to the population problem
  1806. Union Yes
  1807. Unite Against Racism
  1808. Universal Hellthcare
  1809. University State College
  1810. Unless you are the lead dog, your view does not change
  1811. Unless you’re a hemorrhoid stay off my ass!
  1812. Unspoken Traditional Family Values… Abuse - Alcoholism - Incest…Break The Tradition!
  1813. Unuther Brilyunt Mind Distroyed Bi Thuh Publik Educashun Sistim
  1814. Up your nose with a rubber hose
  1815. Uppity Women Unite
  1816. Urban Assault Vehicle
  1817. US Army: Mess With The Best...Die Like The Rest
  1818. Use Caution in Passing - Driver Chewing Tobacco
  1819. Use Condom Sense
  1820. USSA - United Socialist States of America
  1821. USSR - United States Socialist Republic
  1822. Vacuuming Sucks
  1823. Vasectomy means not having to say you are sorry
  1824. Vegetarianism: For your health, animals, and the environment
  1825. Vegetarians Are Sprouting Up All Over
  1826. Vegetarians Taste Better
  1827. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
  1828. Vietnam? We Were Winning When I Left
  1829. Vietnam Vets aren't Fonda Jane
  1830. VIRGINITY CAUSES CANCER - GET YOUR VACCINATION HERE
  1831. Visit Viagra Falls
  1832. Visualize Impeachment
  1833. Visualize No Liberals
  1834. Visualize orgasms
  1835. Visualize unborn babies
  1836. Visualize Using Your Turn Signals
  1837. Visualize whirled peas
  1838. Visualize world peace
  1839. Viva Nashvegas! - eat more rhinestones
  1840. Vote Democrat - Best Government Money Can Buy
  1841. Vote Democrat. It's easier than thinking
  1842. Vote Democrat...it's easier than getting a job
  1843. Vote family values
  1844. Vote For Choice
  1845. Vote Republican - Operation Restore Sanity
  1846. Wage Peace
  1847. Walk In Balance
  1848. Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
  1849. Want Welfare? Go To Canada
  1850. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship
  1851. War Is The Real Enemy
  1852. Warning UFO's Disguised as Helicopters are circling the earth!
  1853. Warning! Dates on Calendar are closer than they appear
  1854. WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition
  1855. Warning: I drive like you do!
  1856. Watch my rear end - not hers!
  1857. Watch witch on duty!
  1858. Water skiers do it in rubber suits
  1859. We All Live Downstream
  1860. We All Live Downwind
  1861. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse
  1862. We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated
  1863. We are NOT disposable - please love me for my whole life
  1864. We are not tourists
  1865. We are upping our standards...so up yours
  1866. We are what we eat - I'm cheap, fast, and easy
  1867. We had plenty of water till all you a**holes moved here
  1868. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of "smart"?
  1869. We vote for pro-firearm political parties
  1870. We Won't Go Back, Keep Abortion Safe & Legal
  1871. We, The Sheeple Better Wake Up
  1872. Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
  1873. Welcome to Colorado - Now Go Home
  1874. Welcome to New York, Putz
  1875. Welfare Abuse=Taxpayer Abuse
  1876. We'll mate again
  1877. Well, DUH!
  1878. We're staying together for the sake of the cats
  1879. We're staying together for the sake of the dog
  1880. Wesley On Board!
  1881. We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
  1882. What a friend we have in cheeses
  1883. What Do You Call A Lesbian Eskimo?..A Klondyke!
  1884. What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull
  1885. What if schools got all the money they need and the Air Force had to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber
  1886. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
  1887. What is a "free" gift. Aren't all gifts free?
  1888. What Part Of "No" Don't You Understand?
  1889. What wisdom can you find greater than kindness
  1890. What Would Jesus Do?
  1891. What you think about expands, so be careful what you think about
  1892. Whatever
  1893. When all else fails, lower your standards
  1894. When all else fails Manipulate the data
  1895. When all else fails, read the instructions!
  1896. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
  1897. When I get old, I'll move up north, drive slow and hold up traffic
  1898. When I grow up, I want to be a Cadillac
  1899. When I think the world is moving too fast, I go to the post office
  1900. When in Doubt Whip it Out!
  1901. When is the sh** going to stop happening?
  1902. When 911 won't work, a .357 will!
  1903. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty
  1904. When the student is ready the teacher will appear
  1905. When you are on purpose the universe will conspire to help you
  1906. When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS
  1907. When you pull the pin on Mr. Grenade he is no longer your friend
  1908. When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger
  1909. When you're over the hill you pick up speed
  1910. Where Are We Going - And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
  1911. Where does it go? It doesn't matter. Flush it.
  1912. Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
  1913. Where there's a witch, there’s a way
  1914. Where was I when I needed me most?
  1915. Where's the messiah when we need her
  1916. Wherever you go There you are
  1917. WhiteWATER WhiteHOUSE WhiteWASH
  1918. WHITEWATER's not over.....'til the FIRST LADY sings
  1919. Who cares who's on board?
  1920. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
  1921. Who needs Santa I've got Grandma
  1922. Who Owns You?
  1923. Who Took The Fun Out Of Fundamentalists
  1924. Why am I the only one on the planet who knows how to drive
  1925. Why be difficult - Be impossible
  1926. Why Be Normal
  1927. Why am I the only person on earth who knows how to drive?
  1928. Why can't I be rich AND good looking?
  1929. Why Do Progressives Hate Progress?
  1930. Why do we kill people who kill people to show that killing is wrong?
  1931. Why do you drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?
  1932. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
  1933. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
  1934. Wicked Good English Student
  1935. Wife and Dog missing: Reward for Dog
  1936. Wild Women Don't Get The Blues
  1937. Will Be President For Food
  1938. Will Rogers never met a lawyer
  1939. Will Rogers never met Hillary!
  1940. Will Rogers Never Met Howard Cosell.
  1941. Will Work For Ammo
  1942. Will work for food Will beg for sex
  1943. Will Work for Sex
  1944. Wink, I'll do the rest!
  1945. Wisconsin: Smell our dairy air!
  1946. Witches are crafty people
  1947. With friends like you, who needs enemas?
  1948. Wok your dog
  1949. Women are great leaders - you're following one
  1950. Women are like cars - men should have a chance once in a while
  1951. Women libbers should be put behind bras
  1952. Women Like Simple Things In Life...Men!
  1953. Women may come, and women may go, but you can always rely on your truck
  1954. Women should be obscene and not heard
  1955. Women Unite Take Back The Night
  1956. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition
  1957. Women's bodies belong to themselves - I agree, but isn't it nice to share?
  1958. Work fascinates me...I could sit and watch it for hours
  1959. Work harder: millions on welfare depend on you!
  1960. Work is for people who don't know how to fish
  1961. WORK is the curse of the DRINKING CLASS
  1962. Worry, God knows all about you
  1963. Would the last person leaving Miami please bring the American flag!
  1964. Would you drive any better if that car phone was stuck up your ass?
  1965. Wouldn't you rather be riding a mule on Molokai?
  1966. Writing to Washington won't help; he's dead!
  1967. Yada yada yada
  1968. Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest sonofabitch in the valley
  1969. Yes, you can have my gun - bullets first
  1970. Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is a dream, today is a bitch
  1971. Yet still it moves
  1972. You are Welcome. Your Gun Is Not
  1973. You betcha dupa I'm Polish!
  1974. You Can Have My Handgun When You Pry It From My Cold, Dead Fingers
  1975. You Can Have My Handgun When You Pry It From My Kid’s Cold, Dead Fingers
  1976. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put a skirt on a truck driver
  1977. You can lead a horse's ass to wisdom but you can’t make him think
  1978. You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think
  1979. You can preserve anything in alcohol - except dignity
  1980. You can take my cigarette from me when you pry it from my cold dead yellow fingers
  1981. You Can't Fix Stupid
  1982. You Can't Hug With Nuclear Arms
  1983. You Cannot Simultaneously Prevent And Prepare For War
  1984. You FEEL my Pain? YOU ARE MY PAIN!
  1985. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you
  1986. You live in America now: speak Spanish!
  1987. You Lost. Get Over It!
  1988. You toucha my car, I breaka you face
  1989. Young at Heart. Slightly Older in Other Places
  1990. Your a**hole's in Washington
  1991. Your College Sucks
  1992. Your foot. Your mouth. A marriage made in Heaven
  1993. Your kid may be an honor student but YOU'RE still an IDIOT!
  1994. Your lucky color has faded
  1995. Your mind is like a Welsh railway -- one track and dirty
  1996. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted
  1997. You're born, you grow up, you become like your parents and then you die
  1998. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
  1999. You're 1 in a million; there's 7 1/2 of you in New York
  2000. You're only young once. You're immature forever
  2001. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny
  2002. yuck fou
  2003. Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!
  2004. &#@%*!
This page has been visited times.

Email me on:
thelocust@hotmail.com