Chapter 3

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=100 BGCOLOR="#CCCCFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="14800640egdysm.jpg"> <div> <A HREF="ssb1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter 1"><U>Chapter 1</U></A>   |   <A HREF="ssb2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter 2"><U>Chapter 2</U></A>   |   <B>Chapter 3</B>   |   <A HREF="ssb4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter 4"><U>Chapter 4</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#000066" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Home</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/oldnews.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Old News</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/zrfic/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>My Fanfics</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/zrart/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>My Fanart</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/a-j/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Authors A-J</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/k-z/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Authors K-Z</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/art/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Fanart List</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/ffsubmit.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Submit a Fanfic</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/fanart_submit.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Submit Fanart</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://pub46.ezboard.com/beeveesmb" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://pub46.ezboard.com/beeveesmb"><U><B>Message Board</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/links.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Links</B></U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=380 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>Chapter 3</I></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Super Smash Bash</B></div> <div> <B>Chapter 3: Here Comes the Bride!</B></div> <bR> <div> *Today, we find Dan and Kyle just now meeting with the first applicants of the day!  This time, however, it seems that there is some uncertainty as to who the applicants are to be...*</div> <bR> <div> Cranky Kong:  Diddy's not worthy!  They want someone classic!</div> <bR> <div> Diddy:  Like you?</div> <bR> <div> Cranky:  Don't be impertinant, kid; having me would be unfair to the other contestants.</div> <bR> <div> Donkey Kong:  You can say that again...</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  So exactly who is applying now?</div> <bR> <div> Diddy:  I am!</div> <bR> <div> Cranky:  ..and so are these guys!  *Cranky hobbles over to the door and flings it open to reveal.... the Ice Climbers!*  These two are nearly as classic as PONG!</div> <bR> <div> Diddy:  And that's a good thing?</div> <bR> <div> Cranky:  Of course it is!  It means that you can't possibly refuse them!</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  Uh, yeah, well...  I guess so, but we've only got spots for 20, and we're already at 19, with Dr. Mario.</div> <bR> <div> Cranky:  What?  ANOTHER Mario clone?!  That's outrageous!  Dang the programmers for making me age whilest he remains young and healthy!</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  Uh, yeah, tough break.  Anyway, I suppose we'll just have to choose between Diddy and one of the Ice Climbers.</div> <bR> <div> Popo:  One?!  We work as a team!</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  Fine...  BOTH of the Ice Climbers...  </div> <bR> <div> Cranky:  See?  It's a two for one deal!  How much more obvious can the choice be?</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  *ignoring him*  Well, if you'll step out for a minute, Dan and I will confer for a moment.  We'll make a logical and well-considered decision and then tell you what we came up with.</div> <bR> <div> *As Cranky, Diddy, and the Ice Climbers leave, Dan reaches into a drawer and pulls out a box labeled "Important Decision Making Device."*</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  This has been in my family for generations, passed down from father to son.  Now's the time I finally get to use it!  *Dan opens the box and pulls out a coin*  Heads it's the Kong, tails it's the Climbers...</div> <bR> <bR> <div> *Elsewhere in the resort, Link is trying frantically to figure out a way to get out of his wedding to Ruto.  Navi is hovering around his head.*</div> <bR> <div> Link:  *pacing around*  What'll I do?  What'll I do?</div> <bR> <div> Navi:  Call in sick?</div> <bR> <div> Link:  Nah, she'd never buy it.  She'd just feed me a red potion...  Hey, wait!  *Link dashes to the phone and quickly calls the lobby.*  Hey, this is Link.  Put me through to Dan and Kyle.  Yeah, it's urgent!</div> <bR> <div> Navi:  Why do I have the feeling this isn't going to work?</div> <bR> <div> Link:  Yeah, Dan?  Yeah, I'm Link.  I wanted to know if I could move that one special meeting I wanted up to about... uh..  *Link quickly checks the flyer*  noon today?   ...  Huh?   What kind of business? ...  LUNCH?!  LISTEN, PAL, THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH!  ...  *Link growls and smashes the phone into the wall, sending pieces of it flying around the room.*  Navi!  He hung up on me!</div> <bR> <div> Navi:  Gee, I wonder why...</div> <bR> <div> Link:  Hold on, I'm going to go see if I can find my Stone Mask...</div> <bR> <bR> <div> *As they get ready for the big wedding, Ash and Brock are chatting about the previous night.*</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Samus...  Every time I hear that name I fall ever so much more in love with her!</div> <bR> <div> Ash:  I thought you said you were giving up women that forcefed you chicken soup...</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  *trying to figure out his cummerbund*  But she did it out of sheer caring!  And after she did that, we talked for hours, and then I asked her if she'd like to go out for dinner and a movie tonight!</div> <bR> <div> Ash:  Wow, what'd she say?</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  *dreamily*  She said no!</div> <bR> <div> Ash:  *Pulling on a suit coat*  Uh, why is that a good thing?</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  She didn't want to go out!  She invited me over to her place to experience her new home theater!  She just spent all the money she got on her last bounty on it!</div> <bR> <div> Ash:  You think it's good?</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Of course it's good!</div> <bR> <div> Ash:  Well, I hope you have a good time, then...  Hey, have you seen my tie?</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  I think it's in the closet.</div> <bR> <div> *Ash walks over to the closet, and opens it.  Inside, he finds Princess Zelda bound and gagged.  Obviously, Ruto has made sure to keep her out of the way during the ceremony.*</div> <bR> <div> Ash:  Oh, hi Zelda.  Sorry to bother you.  *Ash grabs his yellow Pikachu tie and closes the closet again.*  Hey, Brock?  Will you show me how to put this thing on?</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Sure, Ash.  *Brock quickly helps Ash with his tie.*  Come on, let's get going.  We don't want to be late!</div> <bR> <div> *In the resort's chapel, Brock and Ash enter to find Link with both hands handcuffed to the altar.  Soon, all the other guests have gathered.  Much to Link's dismay, the music starts to play and shortly thereafter, Ruto strides down the aisle, wearing an elaborate wedding gown.*</div> <bR> <div> Link:  *To Ruto, as she reaches his side.*  Hey, I thought you didn't have a dress.</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  I found one...</div> <bR> <div> *The chaplain "ahem"s to silence them.*</div> <bR> <div> Chaplain:  Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  Just skip that and get to the real stuff!</div> <bR> <div> Link:  No!  Do the whole thing!</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  *Takes a strip of duct tape from somewhere in her gown and slaps it across Link's mouth.*  Get to the "I do" part!</div> <bR> <div> Chaplain:  Uh, yes, well then...  If anyone has any reason why these two should not be legally wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.</div> <bR> <div> *Most of the people in the room start shouting.*</div> <bR> <div> Chaplain:  People, please!  I'm trying to conduct a ceremony!  Now then, do you Link, take Ruto, Princess of the Zora, to have and to hold, to honor and cherish, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, so long as you both shall live?</div> <bR> <div> Link:  Mmmph!</div> <bR> <div> Chaplain:  Excuse me?  *Link gestures to the tape covering his mouth.*  Oh, yes, I see.  *The chaplain rips the tape off Link's mouth.*</div> <bR> <div> Link:  Ow!!!  I--  *He is cut off as Ruto kisses him full on the lips and quickly slaps another piece of tape on his mouth.  In the crowd, Ash is the only one who looks happy, everyone else has looks of concern.  Brock is barely paying attention, due to his Samus fix, and Pikachu and Misty are both weeping.*</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  Oh, Link, you're wonderful!</div> <bR> <div> Link:  Mmmph!!  Mmmm!</div> <bR> <div> Chaplain:  And do you, Ruto, take Link, Hero of Time...</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  Yes, I do!!</div> <bR> <div> Chaplain:  Then by the power vested in me by--</div> <bR> <div> *Suddenly, the whole wall behind the chaplain explodes, spraying debris everywhere.  A huge robotic fighting wireframe shoves its way through the wreckage into the chapel.  Inside are Jessie, James, and Meowth*</div> <bR> <div> Jessie:  To protect the world from devastation!</div> <bR> <div> James:  To unite all people within our nation!</div> <bR> <div> Jessie:  To denounce the evils of truth and love!</div> <bR> <div> James:  To extend our reach to the stars above!</div> <bR> <div> Jessie:  Jessie!</div> <bR> <div> James:  James!</div> <bR> <div> Ash:  *interrupting*  I'm not gonna let you wreck this ceremony, Team Rocket!  Pikachu, use your Thunderbolt!</div> <bR> <div> *Pikachu, who WANTS the ceremony to be wrecked, pretends to faint.  The Rockets are overjoyed.*</div> <bR> <div> Jessie:  We've terrified Pikachu so much that he just passed out!  Now we can capture him without a fight!</div> <bR> <div> Ash:  No way!  Pikachu must just have eaten something that didn't agree with him!  But I'm not going to let you take him!  Go, Cyndaquil!"</div> <bR> <div> *Cyndaquil emerges from his pokéball, sees Team Rocket in their giant fighting wireframe, and immediately proceeds to blast them with his best Flamethrower.  Team Rocket is burnt to a crisp, and a moment later, their ride explodes, once again sending them flying.*</div> <bR> <div> James:  Perhaps we really should have made a polygon instead of a wireframe...</div> <bR> <div> Meowth:  Yeah, at least den we's woulda had walls!</div> <bR> <div> Jessie:  It's too late for that...  We're just blasting off again!  *Team Rocket disappears with their trademark star and "ding"*</div> <bR> <div> *While everyone is watching the Rockets disappear, Ganondorf, Bowser, and Game-and-Watch slip in through a locked side door, using G&W's two-dimensionality to get them in.  Bowser quickly grabs the chaplain, while Game-and-Watch subdues Ruto.  Ganondorf swings his huge Gerudo sword into the altar, smashing it into pieces and freeing Link.*</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  We have come to demand our rightful place in this game!  You are all our prisoners now.  This wedding is officially over!</div> <bR> <div> *Link rips the tape off his mouth and falls to his knees, weeping with joy.*</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  How pathetic...</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  Don't harm these good people!  Take Zelda instead!  She's back in the closet!</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  Silence!  You will all suffer, unless our demands are met!</div> <bR> <div> *Link suddenly jumps to his feet.  Before Ganondorf can stop him, he throws himself on the Gerudo wizard.  Ganondorf starts to struggle, until he realizes that Link is thanking him profusely.*</div> <bR> <div> Link:  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!  I'll do ANYTHING for you!!   Just take her away from me!</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  *Shoving Link off of himself*  Huh?  What's wrong with you?</div> <bR> <div> G&W:  Something tells me he's happy we wrecked this party...</div> <bR> <div> Bowser:  Aw, man!  I wanted to do something EVIL!</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  Conference!  *The three bad guys huddle together and discuss something in whispered tones.*  Okay, that's it.  We will leave you your bride UNLESS you get us in the game!</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  Link will never do that!</div> <bR> <div> Link:  *Runs up and shakes Ganondorf's hand*  Deal!  I swear on the Master Sword that I will get you in!</div> <bR> <div> Bowser:  Hey, how do we know you'll keep your word?</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  *Smacks Bowser across the head*  He swore it on the Master Sword, you idiot!  Don't question powers that you can't possibly comprehend!</div> <bR> <div> Link:  So you'll take her now?</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  Yeah.  Come on, guys, let's find somewhere to lock her up.  *The three bad guys are just about to leave, dragging Ruto along with them, when Ash jumps in front of them.*</div> <bR> <div> Ash:  You can't do this!  I won't let you ruin Link's day of happiness!</div> <bR> <div> Ganodorf:  Get out of our way, boy!  *Ganondorf fires off a blast of dark energy into Ash, then Bowser and G&W pound him repeatedly.  Leaving Ash in a battered pile, the three villains make off with their prisoner.*</div> <bR> <div> Link:  *Dancing around the room*  Yay!  I'm free!  I'm free!!!</div> <bR> <div> Pikachu:  Pika pika!</div> <bR> <div> Misty:  Yeah, what a great ending!</div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>