Chapter 2

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=100 BGCOLOR="#CCCCFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="14800640egdysm.jpg"> <div> <A HREF="ssb1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter 1"><U>Chapter 1</U></A>   |   <B>Chapter 2</B>   |   <A HREF="ssb3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter 3"><U>Chapter 3</U></A>   |   <A HREF="ssb4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter 4"><U>Chapter 4</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#000066" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Home</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/oldnews.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Old News</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/zrfic/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>My Fanfics</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/zrart/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>My Fanart</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/a-j/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Authors A-J</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/k-z/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Authors K-Z</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/art/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Fanart List</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/ffsubmit.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Submit a Fanfic</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/fanart_submit.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Submit Fanart</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://pub46.ezboard.com/beeveesmb" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://pub46.ezboard.com/beeveesmb"><U><B>Message Board</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/links.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Links</B></U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=380 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>Chapter 2</I></div> <div> Welcome back to the SSB: Melee tryouts!  Today, the interviews begin!</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Super Smash Bash</B></div> <div> <B>Chapter 2: Just One of Those Days...</B></div> <bR> <div> *Now we join the interviewers, Dan and Kyle, who are now meeting with the first of the applicants.</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  Hmm, let's see...  Applicant: Hedgehog, Sonic T.  Well known for his extreme speed and hero status.</div> <bR> <div> Sonic:  Yeah, dude, that's me.</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  And your friend is? *points to the two-tailed fox beside Sonic*</div> <bR> <div> Sonic:  That's Tails.  He's my sidekick!</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  What do the two of you think you can bring to the game?  What kind of attacks can you do?</div> <bR> <div> Tails:  Well, we can both do a great spin attack, and I can fly!</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  Fly?  Well, that might give you an unfair advantage over the other characters!</div> <bR> <div> Sonic:  Not really, his tails hurt if he flies for too long.  He doesn't have that much stamina.  He'll only stay airborne as long as Kirby or Jigglypuff.</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  I see...  Well, we'll take that into consideration, then.  Just one moment, while we look at your credits...  *takes out a sheet of paper and reads*  Hmm, Sega Genesis, Sega Genesis, Sega Genisis, Sega Genisis, Sega Game Gear, Sega Game Gear, Sega Game Gear, Sega CD, Sega Saturn, Sega Dreamcast, Sega Dreamcast...  Ooo, even PC!   Hmm...  Uh-oh...  Well, I'm sorry, but it doesn't appear that you've met the qualifications...</div> <bR> <div> Sonic:  But it said that all we needed was previous game titles!</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  That's NINTENDO titles!</div> <bR> <div> Tails:  But we're getting two Nintendo games in February!</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  Sorry, but the rules are very strict.  Maybe next time...</div> <bR> <div> Sonic:  Aw, nuts...</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  We'll see you later... *hits the intercom on his desk*  Send in the next applicant, please...</div> <bR> <div> *As Ness walks in, Sonic and Tails give each other a gloomy look and walk out of the room*</div> <bR> <div> Tails:  Man, I thought we'd make it!</div> <bR> <div> Sonic:  Cheer up, I saw some chili dogs over at the buffet.  Let's go get some eats and enjoy the rest of the party!</div> <bR> <div> *Link spots them leaving and runs over*</div> <bR> <div> Link:  Hey, guys, how did it go?</div> <bR> <div> Sonic:  We washed out, man.  It's a real bummer...</div> <bR> <div> Link:  Too bad.  It would have been fun.</div> <bR> <div> Sonic:  Yeah, anyway, we're gonna go get some chili dogs, wanna come?</div> <bR> <div> Link:  Sure!  Uh..  what's a chili dog?  *Sonic and Tails both stare openmouthed at Link for a moment*</div> <bR> <div> Tails:  You've never lived!  Come on, we'll show you!</div> <bR> <div> *Link is just about to go with Sonic and Tails when Ruto runs up and latches onto his arm.*</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  Honey, I have the most wonderful news!</div> <bR> <div> Link:  You mean they decided to make my new game an all-out graphics extravaganza?!</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  No!  Even better!</div> <bR> <div> Link:  You mean I'm finally getting my own movie!?</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  No, silly!  I've just scheduled our wedding for tomorrow!  That wonderful young man, Ash, gave me the idea!</div> <bR> <div> Link:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  Wow, you haven't screamed like that since the Deku sprout popped up in your face!  You must be really excited!</div> <bR> <div> Link:  *stammering*  But...  but...  but...</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  Don't worry, darling, everything's taken care of!  I even got the honeymoon suite for us!</div> <bR> <div> Link:  I... uh....  uh....</div> <bR> <div> Ruto:  Oh, you're speechless!  I'm so glad you approve!  Now you just go along and have fun with your friends.  I'm going to go make invitations!  *Ruto dashes off, singing "Tomorrow"*</div> <bR> <div> Link:  Oh, no....</div> <bR> <div> Sonic:  Wow...  is she for real?</div> <bR> <div> Link:  Unfortunately...  Well, I guess I'm going to have to cancel guys.  I'm going to go find Ash and kill him...</div> <bR> <div> Tails:  Hold on, we'll come along and watch!</div> <bR> <bR> <div> *Back at the interviews, another familiar (and slightly insane) face has appeared.  It's Donkey Kong's worst enemy, the Kremlin king, K. Rool!*</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  Okay, Mr. Rool</div> <bR> <div> K. Rool:  That's KING K. Rool to you, monkey boy!</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  I'm not a monkey!</div> <bR> <div> K. Rool:  Ape boy, then!</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  We're not apes, either!</div> <bR> <div> K. Rool:  Whatever... Same shape...  My eyesight isn't what it used to be, you know...</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  *observing K. Rool's bulging, bloodshot eyes*  Uh, yeah, I suppose not...  Well, um, we're not sure that this game would be right for you, so I don't think we're going to accept your application.  We'll see if we can get you in another game, though.  Maybe another DK game?</div> <bR> <div> K. Rool:  Rrrrrrr....</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  And maybe this time you'll win!</div> <bR> <div> K. Rool:  Oh, ok.  That's different.</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  Well, it was nice to have you here-- *suddenly the phone rings*  Hold on a moment, please.  *picks up the phone*  Hmm?  Oh, yeah...  Uh-huh...   Sure, ok...  Yeah, we'll get it all set up for you...  Oh, yeah, no problem, you're in!  *hangs up*  That was Mewtwo calling from the hospital.  He said he's sorry he couldn't be here, but he wants in the game.  I told him it was a go.</div> <bR> <div> K. Rool:  You haven't even interviewed him!</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  Yeah?  Well what are YOU going to tell a psychic superclone when he says he wants into your game, huh?  I'd have just ended up saying yes one way or the other!</div> <bR> <div> K. Rool:  Well, what about me!?  Aren't you afraid of getting me angry at you?</div> <bR> <div> *Dan and Kyle look at each other for a moment*</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  Nope</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  Not a bit</div> <bR> <div> K.  Rool:  Well, I'll teach you to fear me!  *K. Rool stands up, intending to pound the interviewers flat.  Kyle quickly presses a big red button, and a moment later, Luigi and DK come in and drag K. Rool away.*</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  I thought we were going to do the trapdoor this year.</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  Nah, it was too cliché.</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  *to the intercom*  Next!</div> <bR> <div> Secretary's Voice:  Your next candidate is Akari Hayami...</div> <bR> <bR> <div> *Back in the lounge, Brock is once again trying to win a woman's heart.*</div> <bR> <div> Peach:  *Throwing her arm around Mario's shoulder*  Hi, Brock!</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  *seeing the look on Mario's face*  I was, uh..  just going to be... uh...  leaving...  Yeah, that's it...  I was looking for Zelda!</div> <bR> <div> Mario:  That'sa good idea!  You just'a do that!</div> <bR> <div> Brock: *managing to corner Zelda*  Hello, my beautiful goddess!  Won't you spare your lowly vassal a moment of your precious time?</div> <bR> <div> Zelda:  *annoyed*  Sure...  Where is he?</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Me!  I'm your vassal!</div> <bR> <div> Zelda:  Look, you're cute, but I already got a man.  You know him...  Link, Hero of Time -- carries a sword?  You really want to mess with him?</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Oh!  So you haven't seen THIS, then!  *hands Zelda a pink flyer with hearts all over it*</div> <bR> <div> Zelda:  What's this?  *reads*  You are cordially invited to...  HEY!!!  THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!!!  Out of my way, you!  I've got a fish to fry!  *Shoves Brock to the ground, transforms into Sheik and storms away.*</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Wait!  Don't you want to at least cry on my shoulder?</div> <bR> <div> Shiek:  NO!</div> <bR> <div> *Dan and Kyle, coming out of the interview room, see Shiek rage by.*</div> <bR> <div> Kyle:  Wow, we've gotta get that one...</div> <bR> <div> Dan:  Absolutely...</div> <bR> <div> *Brock is left alone, so he decides to try to hunt down yet another girl.  This time, he finds Akari in the corner, sobbing*</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Akari, my angel!  What's troubling you so?  Tell your humble servant Brock, that I might sacrifice myself to put an end to it!</div> <bR> <div> Akari:  *wiping her eyes*  They told me I couldn't be in the game!  *starts crying once again*</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Fair lady, of course they could not have you in such a violent game!  Your beauty might have been marred by grievous injury!  And how could they ever forgive themselves if such an accident put an end to your glorious career!</div> <bR> <div> Akari:  Aww, you're so sweet.  *gives him a kiss on the cheek.*  You're right, the game's really not for me anyway.  I can't stand violence!  So, thanks for cheering me up!</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  I live to serve your glorious magnificence!  Let's go out to a movie!</div> <bR> <div> Akari:  Yeah, that sounds great!  Oh... wait a minute...  I just realized that I can't.  I already have plans with my boyfriend!  Well, we can do it another time...  Here's my number...  *scribbles it down on a piece of paper and hands it to Brock*  Well, I have to go now, but I'll see you around!</div> <bR> <div> *As she leaves, Brock stares at the paper for a moment, then slumps down in the corner and begins to weep into his knees.  Six hours later, Samus walks up to find him still in this pathetic state.*</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  It's just not fair!  </div> <bR> <div> Samus:  I have been told that you've become a disturbance.  Cease your whining at once!</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  I can't!  My heart has been torn asunder!  The girl I worship has rejected me and my life is no longer worth living!</div> <bR> <div> Samus:  How pathetic...</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Samus...  you're a girl...  Tell me, why can I never find true love?</div> <bR> <div> Samus:  How should I know?  I'm a bounty hunter, not a romance novelist!  </div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Why am I rejected at every turn?  Why do girls always steal my heart, just to crush it mercilessly?</div> <bR> <div> Samus:  My scanning devices show that your metabolism has dropped to unacceptable levels.  When was the last time you consumed nutrients?</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Well, uh, I don't see what that has to do with anything..</div> <bR> <div> Samus:  WHEN?</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Let's see..  I skipped breakfast, so that would make it...  4 p.m. yesterday!</div> <bR> <div> Samus:  *picks Brock up with one arm.*  Come with me.  You require sustenance!</div> <bR> <div> Brock:  Where are you taking me?</div> <bR> <div> Samus:  That is irrelevant.  You will come!</div> <bR> <bR> <div> *In a secret chamber under the resort, Bowser, Ganondorf, Mr. Game-And-Watch, and Team Rocket are still making plans to disrupt the tryouts.  So far, they haven't been able to agree on anything...*</div> <bR> <div> Bowser:  That plan will never work!  I say we just kidnap the princesses and threaten their lives until we get what we want!</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  How amazingly unoriginal...</div> <bR> <div> Meowth:  I tink it's a good idea!</div> <bR> <div> Mr. Game-And-Watch:  This from a cat who can't even catch his mouse!</div> <bR> <div> Meowth:  He ain't no ordinary mouse!</div> <bR> <div> Jessie:  We should build a giant robotic fighting polygon!</div> <bR> <div> James:  But, Jessie, they said that they were using fighting wireframes this time!</div> <bR> <div> Jessie:  Then we'll make a giant robotic wireframe!</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  And we're going to sit in a giant unprotected wire deathtrap just waiting for Pikachu to blast us into the sky?!  No thanks!</div> <bR> <div> Meowth:  Well, whaddya want us ta do, Ganny?</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  That's Lord Ganondorf, to you, or perhaps Your Evil Majesty!  And the plan that Mr. G&W and I have come up with is far superior to any of yours!</div> <bR> <div> Bowser:  This I'd like to see!</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  Very well.  Feast your eyes upon this!  *holds up one of the pink flyers*</div> <bR> <div> Meowth:  *reading*  You'se is cordially invited to a ceremony of holy matrimony...  Hey, what's dis about?</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  It seems my arch-enemy, Link, is tying the noose!</div> <bR> <div> James:  Isn't that "tying the knot"?</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  Not in this case!  I have an excellent and wonderful plan for this special event!</div> <bR> <div> Jessie:  *raising her hand*  Can we still make a giant robot?</div> <bR> <div> Mr. Game-And-Watch:  Yeah, but me and Ganondorf aren't going to be in it!</div> <bR> <div> Ganondorf:  No, definitely not!  Now, here's our NEW plan....</div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>