Chapter 6
Once again we join our heroes in their search for stardom. However, at the moment, Ash is searching for something else...
Ash: Has anybody seen Pikachu?! I wanna go over our lines again!
Misty: Ash! Just practice alone! All he ever says is "Pik, Pikachu" anyway!
Ash: You just don't get it, do you... Hey, Brock, do you know where Pikachu is?
Brock: Yeah, I saw him heading over to Voder's trailer. It's that way. *Brock points, but before Ash can reach it, the door on it opens, and Voder glides out, with Pikachu on his shoulder.*
Ash: Pikachu! What have you been doing?
Pikachu: Pik, Pikachu!
Misty: See?!
Ash: *giving Misty a quick scowl* Just ignore her...
Voder: To answer your question, Pikachu and I have been catching up on old times, and discussing a new project we're going to work on soon.
Ash: You know Pikachu? But how? I've never seen you before.
Voder: Actually, we met once, but you probably just don't recognize me. Pikachu and I worked together on a video game a while back.
Ash: Really? Which one? He's done a lot, after all.
Voder: It was Super Smash Brothers. We were just discussing what we were going to do for the next one.
Ash: Super Smash Brothers? Hmm.... Let me guess.... You're Luigi!
Voder: What?! Of course not... Though I do like the color green....
Ash: Mario?
Voder: Do I have a bad Italian accent or something?
Ash: Well, I know you're not Jigglypuff or Kirby... They're short... Let me think.... DK?
Voder: *getting irritated* Could I FIT in this suit if I was Donkey Kong?
Brock: Oh boy....
Ash: One of the Polygon warriors? Ness? Not Yoshi... Wait! You're Fox!
Voder: Come on!!! Give me a break! Do I have a tail?!
Ash: Er, no.... Maybe Captain Falcon? Or the guy who flew the Arwing?
Voder: *Sigh* No....
Ash: Are you sure you're not a Polygon?
Director: Come on, people! Places! We haven't got all day!
Ash: I KNOW you're not the giant hand....
Director: QUIET! *glares at Ash* And..... ACTION!
Chapter 6: One of Those Boring Staff Meetings...
*Aboard the Omega Ball, ten Admirals and Moffs are meeting to discuss the next step to take against the Rebel Coalition.*
Admiral 1 (of 6): Until this battle station is totally completed and has all the proper test runs, and is safety inspected, and passes all the regs, and gets a certificate of spaceworthiness from the Spaceworthiness Board of Directors, we are vulnerable!
Moff 1 (of 4): What? Who cares about all that stuff? We've got a MegaRay, and that's all we need!
Admiral 3: Yes, the Coalition is no threat to us...
Admiral 1: They have a lot of weapons! They're better equipped than you think!
Admiral 2: *whispering to Moff 3* What's up with him?
Moff 3: *whispering back* His ex-girlfriend defected to the Coalition last week, and he's pretty sure she's out to get him...
Admiral 1: *continuing* ...AND the Rebels have support in the Senate!
*Just at that moment, Voder strides in, accompanied by Grand Moff-ette Tarkana. Voder stands imperiously behind a chair, but is forced to duck to avoid Tarkana's long red hair, as she turns her head to scrutinize the people on the other end of the table.*
Tarkana: The Senate won't bother us any more! The Emperor has... taken care of them...
Admiral 5: Oooo... *winces* But how will the Emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy?
Tarkana: Well, for one thing, he won't have to waste all that money on social programs.
Admirals: Yeah! That means we get a raise!
Voder: And the Moffs and local governors will now have total contral over their territories.
Moffs: Yes! That means WE get a raise too!
Tarkana: Yeah, and we get to keep control through fear and intimidation! And if they don't listen, we'll just use this station and blow them away! Isn't it great?
Admiral 1: But what about the Coalition? What if they find a weakness in this station? They stole the plans, after all...
Voder: *icily* We're getting the plans back. Count on it!
Moff 4: The Rebels are no match for us! Even if they did find a weakness, attackin' this baby would be stupid! This station is the ultimate power in the universe!
Voder: So we made a really big gun... So what? The ability to disintigrate entire planets is pathetic compared to the almighty power of the Triforce!
Moff 2: *nudges Voder's elbow and whispers to him* Force, my lord...
Voder: Whatever...
Moff 4: Don't try to frighten me with your wizardlike ways! All your supposed powers haven't helped you find those plans you lost, or crush the Coalition, or--- *gasp* *choke*
Admiral 3: It does let him do that, however...
Voder: *Making a pinching gesture with his forefinger and thumb* I find your irreverance to be.... irritating.. *the other Moffs and Admirals wince in sympathy for their foolish comrade, some rubbing their own necks as if haunted by the thought of the same fate befalling them.*
Tarkana: YEAH! YEAH!! THROTTLE HIM, VODER!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!
Admiral 4: Uh, Lord Voder? You know what the Emperor said about choking Moffs....
Voder: *pauses for a moment* You are correct, I suppose. *releases Moff 4, who falls onto the floor, gasping for air.*
Tarkana: Awwwwwww!!!!! I wanted to watch him squirm and die!
Voder: Maybe next time....
Tarkana: Yeah.... Maybe you can do it to some Rebels, once you find their base...
Admiral 6: Then we'll power up the MegaRay and squash them like bugs!
Tarkana: Shut up! I decide how we kill them! You just sit there and be my compliant little underling! You're a yes-man, nothing more!
Voder: He does have a point, though... Blowing up a planet does sound like more fun...
Tarkana: I know, but I wanna call the shots!
Voder: As you wish....
*Meanwhile, back on Tatoon, Brock and Obi-Oak, on their way back to Brock's house, have come across the Dunecrawler that Brock's uncle had purchased the droids from, now blasted and smoking. The hooded guys are all dead, although there are a few pokémon walking around in shock.*
Brock: *grabbing an Electrode* What happened here? Who killed all the hooded guys?
Electrode: Elec... elec... electrode... *explodes*
Brock: *blinking* Ow.... Did you understand any of that?
M2: Yeah! Dat Electrode said "Startroopers" before it croaked. I figure dey killed the hoodie guys, lookin' fer me and Jimbo!
Brock: That means they might have gone.... to my home! Noooo! *Jumps in the speeder and takes off for the homestead at top speed*
JPO: *Left in the dust* But, Meowth, why would they be looking for me?
M2: Dey just don't know dat dey don't need ta look fer you.
*Brock makes it home, but finds a smouldering heap of concrete where his igloo house once was.*
Brock: Noooooo.... Uncle Flint?! Aunt Delia?! *Falls on his knees, sobbing and in shock. By the time he can compose himself, Kenobis and the two droids have caught up with him.*
Kenobis: I'm sorry, Brock, but there was nothing you could have done...
JPO: Hey, lookie what I found! *Holds up a note that was taped onto a moisture vaporator*
Brock: *reading it* "Dear, Brock... We were just starting lunch when a bunch of nasty men in white armor came around and trampled on my garden. They ruined my favorite cactus! Anyway, Mimie chased them off. Unfortunately, during the commotion, I left the food on the stove, and we had a grease fire burn down our house... So your uncle and I decided to go to Nom Squeed for that cruise we've been wanting to go on for the last 13 years... Uncle says you can go to the academy now, since there's nothing left for you to do here... We'll miss you. Don't forget to change your underwear every day! -Your loving aunt, Delia" *Brock breaks down and sobs again*
Kenobis: What's wrong now? At least they're still alive!
Brock: I wanted to go to Nom Squeed too! I've never seen an ocean planet before... or even a pond!
JPO: That's pretty pathetic...
M2: Don't worry, kiddo! I'm sure dey got a couple lakes on Aldraan! You can see da water dere!
Brock: Oh... Well, what are we waiting for, then? Let's get out of here!
End Chapter 6
Jessie: I LOVE my new part! Thank you, Mr. Director! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Voder: Yeah, that was great!
Director: I'm glad you liked it... Anything to get me out of your hair....
Jessie: Huh?
James: Oooo! I got three lines that time!
Voder: Come on Pikachu, let's go talk about SSB: Melee some more!
Ash: *jumps in front of the dark figure* Wait right there! I finally figured out who you are! You're SAMUS!!!!
Voder: *screams in frustration*
Ash: I KNEW IT!!!
Will Ash ever figure out who Voder is? Will Brock see a lake? A pond? A mermaid? (He'd really like to see a mermaid!) Will Tarkana get to blow things up? Is the Omega Ball built to code?
Find out, when Poké Wars continues....
