Chapter 4
Our heroes are once again preparing to film another segment of the all-new hit movie Poké Wars!
Meowth: So den James grabs da bagel, and he's runnin' like crazy. And all de time, I'm tryin' to tell him dat dey was free!
James: It's too bad, really. I actually got away with it for once!
Brock: You guys are hopeless....
Chapter 4: Little House In the Desert Wastes
*Brock trots into his igloo house and sits down in the nearest chair, as Delia pours him a glass of blue milk.*
Brock: You know, those droids are whacked! I think we got gypped!
Flint: What did you expect? We got them two for the price of one!
Brock: Well, I guess so... Anyway, I found this weird recording of this girl--
Flint: Here we go again...
Delia: Brock!!! I thought we raised you better than that!
Brock: No, no!! It's not THAT kind of recording! It's just some girl that keeps saying "Help me Obi-Oak Kenobis, you're my only hope! I was wondering if that's a nickname for old Professor Oak..."
Flint: That wizard's just a crazy old man!
Brock and Delia: Huh? What are you talking about?
Flint: Oh, never mind... You can just take the droid to the big city tomorrow and have it's memory wiped.
Meowth's Voice: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! *Offstage, the director darts away, and a moment later, a loud smacking sound is heard*
Flint: Ooookay.... Anyway, those droids belong to us now. We don't need any strange girl recordings. Especially not you!
Brock: But shouldn't we try to send Obi-Oak his message?
Flint: Don't worry about that, I don't think he exists anymore.
Brock: What? Was he in the obits or something?
Flint: No, he just died about the same time as your father.
Brock: But you're my.... Oh, wait... Sorry, almost forgot that you're my uncle now. *Brock chuckles nervously, then spots the director looking irately at him* Soooo, did Obi-Oak know dad?
Flint: Just forget it!
Brock: Forget what?
Flint: Exactly!
Brock: But--
Flint: But nothing. All you have to worry about is getting those two droids ready for tomorrow. And considering how cheap we got them for, that'll take you the rest of the week... I know it's pretty much impossible, but I want you to have them up working on those water condensers on the southern plains by tomorrow morning.
Brock: Oh yeah, like that'll happen...
Delia: I could ask Mimie to help you clean them up.
Brock: *thinking it over* Yeah, that'd be great. I bet Mr. Mime could get those droids running even faster than I can. Then, once they're doing all the work, I can go to the academy next semester like you said I could!
Flint: You mean the next semester, not the one after it?
Brock: Sure, why not?
Flint: But harvest time is when I need you the most!
Brock: WHAT HARVEST TIME?! WE HARVEST WATER!! THE WATER IS THERE ALL YEAR!! ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS SUCK IT OUT OF THE SKY!!!
Flint: But I need you here, Brock! We don't have enough money to get the help we need to run all the machines.
Brock: Sure, we have enough money! All we have to do is stop buying the blue milk then, and get the regular stuff!
Delia: You know, he's right. It IS §1.98 more expensive than the other stuff, and it tastes the same too.
Flint: *indignantly* No, it doesn't! Besides, it's only one more season!
Brock: Yeah, that's what you said when Todd left... *Brock gets up, looking disgusted*
Delia: Where are you going?
Brock: Nowhere, apparently... I've gotta go work on those droids... *Brock leaves, looking dejected.*
Flint: When did Todd leave, anyway? I could swear he was mooching dinner off of us just yesterday.
Delia: *Rolling her eyes* No, that was Tank, dear. And he left three years ago, along with all Brock's other friends... You know how much the Academy means to Brock. He's just like his father was at that age.
Flint: Was that supposed to make me feel BETTER?!
Delia: *wincing* No, I guess not...
*Brock walks out on top of a sandhill and gazes out at a blue screen*
Brock: Uh......?
Director: Keep staring out! The special effects guys'll add something in later!
Mewtwo: Why can't we just add it in NOW?
Mew: Yeah, it's more fun!
Director: Oh, ok, fine... Add it in..
*Mewtwo waves a hand and a twin sunset appears over a vast desert that disappears into a distance*
Brock: Wow... *Sad music plays*
*Definitive music plays*
*Strong music plays*
*Brock goes back inside the shed as a little blurb of peppy music plays.*
*Brock pulls out his keychain remote and unlocks his speeder's door. No music plays, but the horn blips, and JPO jumps out from behind the vehicle in surprise.*
Brock: Hey, what are you doing back there?
JPO: It's not my fault! Please don't hurt me!
Brock: You broke something on my speeder, didn't you! I'm gonna--
JPO: NO NO NO! It's not that! It's Emtwo! He ran off screaming when he heard you were going to wipe his memory! He said something about having Obi-Oak save him from you!
Brock: Oh, no...
*The two dash outside and scan the horizon.*
Brock: I can't believe this...
JPO: I can! He's always getting into some sort of trouble!
Brock: Well, he's nowhere in sight. We'll have to wait until tomorrow before we can go look for him. It's too dangerous to go out at night.
JPO: Then why were you opening your car?
Brock: Because that's where I sleep! You think we can fit more than one bedroom inside that tiny igloo?
JPO: I see what you mean.
Flint: Hey, Brock! I'm turning off the generator in five minutes! Brush your teeth while you still have light!
Brock: I'm going to get in so much trouble because of that M2 unit.
JPO: Double trouble?
Brock: NO, now go back to the droid closet and stay there! I'll get you early tommorow and we'll look for him.
The next morning...
Flint: Brock? Brock?! BROCK?!
Delia: He left honey, just like you told him to...
Flint: Oh, yeah, I guess I did...
*Meanwhile, out in the Junden Wastes:*
*JPO is driving Brock's speeder, while Brock scans the distance with power binoculars.*
JPO: Can't we put the top back up on the speeder? I'm broiling!
Brock: Stop complaining! I like to feel the wind in my hair! Besides, the AC's broke, so it'll just get hotter with the top up.
James: Oh, darn!
Brock: *Scanning the horizon* Hey! There he is! Turn right! *The speeder suddenly swerves left violently.* Hey!? What's wrong with you?! Can't you drive?!
JPO: I was just avoiding the pothole in the.. um.. sand... *Turn the speeder to the right*
Brock: This is a HOVERcar, you don't need to worry about holes!
JPO: Oh... I wondered about that...
*Now headed in the right direction, Brock and JPO soon catch up to the fleeing M2*
Brock: Where do you think you're going?
M2: Away from you, ya mind-wipin' lunatic! I'm gonna ask Oakie to keep you away from me!
Brock: Actually, I wan't going to wipe your memory, that was Uncle Flint. And he says that Obi-Oak is dead, anyway.
M2: No, he ain't! Da princess told me dat he lives right over dere! *Points with a manipulator arm*
JPO: *Trying to unbuckle his seatbelt and get out of the speeder.* Meow--I mean, Emtwo, stop trying to get us in trouble! You're lucky he hasn't blasted you into a million pieces for running away!
Brock: No, Flint'd kill me. Anyway, we really out to go now. It's not safe to stay out here.
JPO: Oh, really? Why?
Brock: Because of all the Sandshrew People around here. They're really dangerous.
JPO: Sandshrew... People?
Brock: Yeah, they're a part of that "pokémon are people too" movement.
M2: Dem guys are nutcases! Everyone knows dat we're better!
Brock: Yeah, whatever, let's just get out of here before--
Voices: Sandshrew!!!!!
Brock: Too late... *Grabs a huge laser rifle from the speeder's trunk.* Come on, let's go see how many there are.
JPO: *Finally freeing himself from the seatbelt.* What? No, no! Let's get out of here! I don't wanna die! *Grabs the seatbelt and tries to get it buckled again.*
M2: You go ahead, kid. I'll stay here and keep an eye on Jimbo.
Brock: Suit yourself. *Runs around a rock outcropping, then immediately gets hit in the head and falls back into the droid's view, unconscious.*
M2: Dat's it! I'm outta here! *Rolls away into a small cave as fast as his wheels can carry him.*
James: Wait for me! *Hears a click, and realizes that he has just succeeded in buckling himself in again.* NOOOOOO!!!!!!
*A swarm of Sandshrews run out of the surrounding rocks, dragging Brock behind them. Spotting the speeder, they drop the teen, and run up to examine their newest conquest.
JPO: Please don't kill me!
Sandshrew Person 1: Shrew?
Sandshrew Person 2: *Nods his head* Sandshrew shrew sand sandshrew!
JPO: I'm doomed!
*Suddenly a loud whooping shriek pierces the air, and the Sandshrews dart away into the rocky terrain in a panic.*
M2: Hey, Jimmy! I tink dere's someting big comin' dis way! Maybe it's one'a dem Crate Dragons!
JPO: Oh!!!! What are they?!
M2: I'm not sure, but I tink dey're big dragons dat hide in boxes, den jump out and eat ya!
*James shudders, then notices a robed figure heading in their direction* AAAAHH!!!!! It's a Crate Dragon!!!!
Figure: *Diving for cover* WHERE?!
JPO: Oh, sorry, my mistake...
*The figure comes closer and lowers his hood, revealing the face of an old man. He checks Brock over, then grabs Brocks face and looks into it. Letting go, he turns to M2*
Figure: Hello there, my little friend.
M2: Heya, Oakie! How ya been?
Oak: Bored! There's nothing to do out here but study the Sandshrews, and if you've seen one of them, you've seen them all!
M2: Yeah, if I wasn't on a mission ta find ya, I'd be bored too! *The droid rolls out of the cave and peers down at Brock's unconscious figure* Is he dead?
Oak: No, that would ruin the whole show.
M2: Yeah, I t'ought so. Let's just load him in da convertible and go. JP's still stuck in da driver's seat anyway.
Brock: *Sitting up abruptly* Wow, does my head hurt!
Oak: Yes, you're lucky to all be in one piece.
Brock: Professor Oak! it's you!
M2: Yeah, he's Obi-Oak too...
Brock: Wow, really! Uncle Flint said you were dead!
Oak: *Musing* Obi-Oak... I haven't been caled that in ages... But, no! I'm not dead! Not yet, anyway... Why? Did they publish my name in the obits? They stopped delivering the paper out this far years ago... Something about the last six paperboys getting killed by Sandshrews, or some nonsense like that. I think they just wanted me to pay a higher fee, so I canceled my subscriptions.
M2: Good choice!
Oak: Come on, I'll take you back to my lab. It's too dangerous to stay out here with all the Sandshrews about. I scared them away with that Arvenian opera recording, but they'll be back as soon as they realize that it wasn't really Lady Katarra who was singing... I wish I could get the real thing and keep them away permanently, but those recordings are so hard to find!
*The group piles into the speeder and drive away towards a small house on the horizon*
End Chapter 4
Brock: Can I keep this car? It's so cool!!!
Mewtwo: Yeah, whatever... *Stops waving his hand around, and the car comes crashing to the ground.*
Brock: Aww......
Mewtwo: I'll be in my trailer if you need me, planning out the next set of special effects. See you later... if I ever decide to come back out in this heat!
James: He gets a trailer too!?
Meowth: Yeah, dis just ain't fair!
Director: *Sticking his fingers in his ears* I can't hear you! La la, la la la!
Will our heroes find out what the strange message is all about? Will Mewtwo ever come out of his air-conditioned trailer again? Will Flint and Delia stop buying blue milk and switch to 2%?
Find out, when Poké Wars continues...
