G/S Capers: Part 2

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=100 BGCOLOR="#CCCCFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="14800640egdysm.jpg"> <div> <A HREF="bnp_pi.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poison Ivy"><U>Poison Ivy</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_tb.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Birth"><U>The Birth</U></A>   |   <A HREF="b_ni_pmdbz.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dragonball Blast"><U>Dragonball Blast</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_mrm.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Monster Rancher Meltdown"><U>Monster Rancher Meltdown</U></A>   |   <A HREF="nbp_adits.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="And Digimon is the Sun"><U>And Digimon is the Sun</U></A>   |   <A HREF="nb_phsc.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Pokémon HighSpeed Chase"><U>Pokémon High-Speed Chase</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_cop.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Coming of Psycho"><U>The Coming of Psycho</U></A>   |   <A HREF="nb_tpf.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Mankey Wrench in the Pokémon Factory"><U>A Mankey Wrench in the Pokémon Factory</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_fotp.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cyberspace Smackdown"><U>Cyberspace Smackdown</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_sus.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Silph Under Siege"><U>Silph Under Siege</U></A>   |   <A HREF="nbp_tat.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Truth About Tracey"><U>The Truth About Tracey</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_ehs.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Everyone Hates SPAM"><U>Everyone Hates SPAM</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_hs.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Halloween Special"><U>Halloween Special</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_spp.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Slumber Party Panic"><U>Slumber Party Panic</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_ate.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Ask the Entities"><U>Ask the Entities</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_gsc1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="G/S Capers: Part 1"><U>G/S Capers: Part 1</U></A>   |   <B>G/S Capers: Part 2</B>   |   <A HREF="bnp_gsc3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="G/S Capers: Part 3"><U>G/S Capers: Part 3</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_gsc4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="G/S Capers: Part 4"><U>G/S Capers: Part 4</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_zplcs.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The AmazingFantasticPlastic Zeths Pokémo"><U>The Amazing-Fantastic-Plastic Zeth's Pokémon Library Crossover Special!</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_ijo.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Incredible JokéOdyssey"><U>The Incredible Joké-Odyssey</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_sfu.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Six Feet Under!"><U>Six Feet Under!</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#000066" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Home</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/oldnews.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Old News</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/zrfic/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>My Fanfics</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/zrart/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>My Fanart</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/a-j/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Authors A-J</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/k-z/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Authors K-Z</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/art/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Fanart List</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/ffsubmit.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Submit a Fanfic</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/fanart_submit.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Submit Fanart</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://pub46.ezboard.com/beeveesmb" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://pub46.ezboard.com/beeveesmb"><U><B>Message Board</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/links.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Links</B></U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=380 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>G/S Capers: Part 2</I></div> <div> G/S Capers, Part 2:</div> <div> The Return of SPAM!</div> <div> By Psycho, Blackeyez, and N. Igma</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: When we last left our heroes, the entities had promised Josh,</div> <div> Matt, and Ian new Pokémon. But when the hooded hepcats never showed up, our</div> <div> heroes made a VERY quick journey to Mt. Moon (they must have been fast, it</div> <div> only took one fic!) only to find the entities' palace.</div> <bR> <div> Ash: Turned upside down and inside out!</div> <bR> <div> Josh: (sings old Salt-and-Pepa song) Upsiiide dowwwwn.insiiide ouuuuut.round</div> <div> and round! (Misty bashes him with her trusty mallet)</div> <bR> <div> Matt: Maybe it was sabotage!</div> <bR> <div> Ian: Team Rocket couldn't have found the entities' palace!</div> <bR> <div> Brock: Hey! It's Dark Porygon!</div> <bR> <div> (Dark Porygon is slumped in a corner. Our heroes run over to their badly</div> <div> beaten blocky buddy.)</div> <bR> <div> Josh: Hey DP, what happened here?</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon: It's-a-long-story.a-flashback-would-be-appropriate-here.</div> <bR> <div> (A flashback starts on the 70-inch main computer monitor)</div> <bR> <div> (Psycho and Screech, the supersonic-voiced ex-SPAM girl, are in a lip-lock</div> <div> on the couch)</div> <bR> <div> Our heroes: HOLY CRAP!!!</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon: Do-not-interrupt-the-flashback.</div> <bR> <div> START OF FLASHBACK</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: (comes out of kiss) Whoa.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: You know, these things are why I'm glad I left SPAM. You were</div> <div> actually the main reason.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: (still dazed) Whoa.like really?</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Yeah.(starts kissing him again)</div> <bR> <div> (Blackeyez walks in)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: WHAT THE.(stops himself from cursing) ERRRGGGHHH!!! (Psycho and</div> <div> Screech jump about ten feet into the air) GO DO THAT SOMEWHERE ELSE!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: You're.you're justht jealousth!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: (blushing) Am not!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Boys, boys! What's this all about?</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: He yelled at usth!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: He said I'm jealous!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Jealous? How could you be jealous of Psycho?!</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Yeah, how could you be jealous of poor little Psycho? (Kisses him</div> <div> on the cheek)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Now stop that!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Sthee? Now YOU'RE jealousth!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: (two red spots appear under N. Igma's eyes) Am not!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Look, you're blushthing too!</div> <bR> <div> Screech: I guess I'd better go. (Gets purse) Byyyyyyye, Psycho.(leaves)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Sthhe'sth. sthhe'sth sthomethin' elsthe!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Yeah.and something ELSE is what you'd better be doing, right now!</div> <bR> <div> Outside.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Oh, Psycho.you're such a great guy.I really wish I had quit SPAM.I</div> <div> really hate lying.but I've got to keep you safe from those evil maniacs!</div> <bR> <div> (Two hands grab her shoulders)</div> <bR> <div> ???: Someone say "evil maniac"?</div> <bR> <div> Screech: N. Cognito!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: You got it, baby. (SPAM comes out of the dark. Its members are</div> <div> Chameleon, a scrawny guy with a lizard-like face who can change his</div> <div> coloring, Professor Smartypants, who has a human-like head with a large</div> <div> cranium with huge pants over his cloak, and Muggsy, a big muscular guy.)</div> <div> Welcome back from your latest spy mission. I'd like you to meet our latest</div> <div> member.</div> <bR> <div> (An entity walks up. Well actually, he doesn't walk, unlike other entities</div> <div> he has no legs, so he hovers above the ground. Sticking out of his hood is a</div> <div> head which looks like a Ditto, but it's eyes are big and sinister looking,</div> <div> and he bears an evil grin.)</div> <bR> <div> Mysterious entity: Greetings. I am Xerox, able to make myself look like</div> <div> anyone.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Um, hi.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Sooo, did you find out how to get in yet? We've been trying for</div> <div> five fics, and every time you're wrong about how to get in! So where is the</div> <div> secret entrance already?!</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Uhhhh.yeah! You have to go around the back. Yeah, the back.</div> <bR> <div> Chameleon: Didn't she suggest that last week?</div> <bR> <div> Screech: SHADDAP!!! (Everyone is dazed except Muggsy, who is immune to the</div> <div> screech) If you want my help, you have to trust me. Now come on, I'll show</div> <div> you how it's done.</div> <bR> <div> (They walk around the back. Screech presses part of the wall and a keypad</div> <div> pops up. She punches in a code and an intercom comes out of the wall.)</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Now, you have to say the password. It's "LEMME IN RIGHT NOW,</div> <div> BUSTER!"</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Are you sure? I doubt even my goody-two-shoes brother would use</div> <div> something that simple.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Well, uh, Psycho did it. Yeah! Psycho made it up!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Okay. (Presses button on intercom) LEMME IN RIGHT NOW, BUSTER!</div> <bR> <div> Pre-recorded voice message: That is not the correct code phrase. It is also</div> <div> very impolite. You shall be punished.</div> <bR> <div> (An avalanche of rocks drops on SPAM's heads)</div> <bR> <div> SPAM: AIEEEEE!!!! (They get buried as Screech jumps out of the way.)</div> <bR> <div> Pre-recorded voice message: Have a nice day. (Goes back into the wall)</div> <bR> <div> (Muggsy crawls out from the rubble and lifts big rocks three time his size</div> <div> off his team members.)</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Uggghhh.well that hurt. Good thing this is a fanfic, or I'd be</div> <div> dead.</div> <bR> <div> Smartypants: Pretty funny how Screech jumped out of the way just in the nick</div> <div> of time.</div> <bR> <div> Chameleon: Maybe she's faster than we thought.</div> <bR> <div> Xerox: Hey, Big N! (Whispers in N. Cognito's ear)</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: WHAT?! WHY THAT LITTLE.hmmm. So that's it. Heheheheheh.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Ooops, looks like I was wrong again. Looks like we better go back</div> <div> to camp and spend all day tending to our wounds and preparing our next</div> <div> attack tomorrow.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: NOT SO FAST! You're not getting away that easy!!!</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Gulp.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: (puts arm around her shoulders) Screechy-honey, why you so</div> <div> worried? We're not MAD you made us screw up. We're not gonna HURT you or</div> <div> anything.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Phew!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: I mean, it could happen to anybody. Even when they've had access</div> <div> to that stinkin' palace for almost two weeks, but hey! It's no problem. Even</div> <div> though it's like you're giving us false information on purpose.but you'd</div> <div> never do that, right?</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Yeah.uh, sure.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: You'd never betray us?</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Yeah.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Never help those dumb nice-guy entities?</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Yeah.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Screech?</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Yeah?</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: You're lying.</div> <bR> <div> (All of SPAM jumps on Screech and ties her up)</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Bwa ha ha haaa! You REALLY think I was going to fall for that?</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Well, you have for two weeks.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Silence, traitor! Thanks to Xerox here, we finally caught you.</div> <bR> <div> Xerox: I heard your whole little private conversation outside of N. Igma's</div> <div> front door. You know, you shouldn't talk to yourself. People will think</div> <div> you're crazy.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Well, I think you were crazy to think you could get away with</div> <div> helping those stupid writers!</div> <bR> <div> Chameleon: I knew it was her all the time, boss!</div> <bR> <div> Muggsy: Suck-up.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: I can't believe I've been caught!!</div> <bR> <div> Reiko: I know the feeling, Screech-san.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Where'd she come from?!</div> <bR> <div> Cameron Fusterman: Speaking of which, you stole our START OF FLASHBACK and</div> <div> END OF FLASHBACK thingies too!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Get out of here!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Yeah! We don't cross over to Zeth's Pokémon Library until next</div> <div> fic--whoops!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Nice one, Blackie. You just gave away our plot.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Now, Screech my dear, tell us how to get into the palace, orrrr.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Or what?</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Or I'll use THIS!!! (Whips out short wooden club with two words</div> <div> printed on the side)</div> <bR> <div> Screech: AIEEE!!! THE UGLY STICK!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: And I'm not afraid to use it! Now tell us!</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Uhhhhh.</div> <bR> <div> Fifteen minutes later.</div> <bR> <div> KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: I'm updating the network! Someone get that!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Make Psycho do it.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Psycho! Get the door!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Make Blackeyezth do it.</div> <bR> <div> (Blackeyez chases after Psycho with an anime mallet. Psycho decides he'd</div> <div> better get the door anyway.)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: (opens door) Yesssssssssthhhh?</div> <bR> <div> ???: Greetings! I am Xer-, I mean, Xavier. Xavier K. Ogglesworth, agent of</div> <div> the Internal Revenue Service.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Stho? Whaddaya want?</div> <bR> <div> Xavier: YOU HAVEN'T PAID YOUR TAXES IN MONTHS!! YOU'RE PAST DUE ON</div> <div> EVERYTHING!! UNCLE SAM NEEDS TO PUT BREAD ON THE TABLE TOO, YA KNOW!!!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Okay, okay! Justht lemme get my wallet. Stheesthh! (Goes to get</div> <div> wallet)</div> <bR> <div> Xavier: Heh heh heh.</div> <bR> <div> (Xavier slips in through the front door and goes into the main computer</div> <div> room. Dark Porygon is in there playing video games, naturally.)</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon: Sweet. Playing-Mario-Tennis-on-the-big-screen-is-awesome.</div> <div> Or-something-like-that.</div> <bR> <div> Xavier: Maybe you should get your slang chip updated.</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon: INTRUDER-ALERT! INTRUDER-ALERT! (Turns back to screen)</div> <div> Aw-man-you-just-made-Bowser-ace-me!</div> <bR> <div> Xavier: Take a giga-bite of this!</div> <bR> <div> (Xavier shoves a floppy "A" disk into Dark Porygon's snout. Dark Porygon</div> <div> goes haywire and then falls to the ground, shut off-line. Xavier presses the</div> <div> BACK DOOR OPEN button on the main keyboard and slips back to the front</div> <div> porch. Finally Psycho comes back with a fistful of money.)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Okay, I got the greenbacksth!</div> <bR> <div> Xavier: What you've got is trouble!</div> <bR> <div> (Xavier tackles Psycho and wrestles him to the ground as dollar bills fly</div> <div> everywhere. Xavier pins Psycho to the floor and changes into his real</div> <div> identity-Xerox!)</div> <bR> <div> Xerox: Hah! You fool! No one can see through the disguise of Xerox!</div> <bR> <div> Readers: Really? WE think you were obvious!</div> <bR> <div> Xerox: Who asked you??</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Blackie! Enny! Helllllpp!!!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: (runs in with N. Igma) Huh?</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: What's all the-HEAVENS TO MURGATROYD!</div> <bR> <div> Xerox: Heavens to Murgatroyd? Heavens to Murgatroyd?? What time period are</div> <div> YOU in?!?!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Come on Igma, we can take 'em.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Maybe.but can you take all of us? (SPAM appears behind him)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: How'd YOU get in here??</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: The back door was conveniently unlocked. Right, Xerox?</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Hey, you tricked me!</div> <bR> <div> Xerox: Like DUHHHHHH!!!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Sic 'em, boys!</div> <bR> <div> (Huge fight breaks out that is too violent to describe, plus it wastes time</div> <div> and space and my fingers are getting tired from typing)</div> <bR> <div> (Our entities are tied up)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Like, déjà vu!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Think of something original!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Hey, rope's all we brought. Besides, we're going to be smarter</div> <div> THIS time around. We're going back to base-with you guys with us! Once we</div> <div> chuck you in a couple entity-proof cells, THEN we'll take your palace and</div> <div> DELETE your series!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Not our series! (Throws back hooded head) NOOOOOOOOOOOOO..</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: You weren't from the IRS at all!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: He pretended to be from the IRS? Man, that's PURE evil!!!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: ..OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: And you have Screech here to thank. She told us how to get in!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Screech.you wouldn't.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Psycho, I'm sorry. I wanted to break away, but.I was just so</div> <div> afraid!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: You got your back turned on by your own girlfriend! Wait, that</div> <div> doesn't sound right. Your own girlfriend betrayed you!</div> <bR> <div> Chameleon: Much better, boss!</div> <bR> <div> Muggsy: Suck-up.</div> <bR> <div> Chameleon: Quit calling me that!!</div> <bR> <div> Muggsy: Suck-up, suck-up, suuuuck-up; sucky, sucky, suck-up!</div> <bR> <div> Chameleon: Hey! You wanna take this outside?!</div> <bR> <div> (Muggsy, 400 pounds of pure muscle, towers over Chameleon)</div> <bR> <div> Muggsy: Nah, you go out by yourself. (Kicks Chameleon out the door)</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Can we get on with this?</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: ..OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Iggy, that's enough.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: ..OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: IGGY! (Slaps him)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Ouch! Ah, I needed that.</div> <bR> <div> (Our entities are dragged away by SPAM as the flashback ends)</div> <bR> <div> END OF FLASHBACK</div> <bR> <div> Cameron: See? SEE?? You DID take them!!!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Will ya shut up and get back in your own fic! I'd show you there</div> <div> myself, but I'm a little tied up right now.</div> <bR> <div> (Crickets chirp)</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon: So-that-is-what-happened.</div> <bR> <div> Misty: That's awful!</div> <bR> <div> Ash: We gotta stop them!</div> <bR> <div> Brock: But how?</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon: They-left-me-this-e-mail. (Puts it on-screen)</div> <div> "If-we-are-in-danger,-seek-the-elders. Go-to-Mt.-Silver." That's-all.</div> <bR> <div> Josh: It looks like we're off to Mt. Silver!</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon:</div> <div> My-teleporter-is-not-yet-updated-with-the-G-S-locations,-so-it-can-only-take-you-as-close-as-Indigo-Plateau.</div> <div> Then-you-are-on-your-own.</div> <bR> <div> Ian: Well, for heaven's sake, Scotty, beam me up!</div> <bR> <div> (Our heroes step into the teleporter and vanish)</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon: Well-that-took-care-of-the-end-of-this-fic.</div> <div> Now-the-narrator-must-tantalize-us-with-questions-like.</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: Can our heroes make it to Mt. Silver? Will they be able to find</div> <div> the elders and save the entities? And, most importantly, will they ever get</div> <div> their new Pokémon? Find out all these answers next time in</div> <div> G/S Capers Part 3: The Streets Are Paved With Silver!</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>