Everyone Hates SPAM

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Igma</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: Our story begins.</div> <bR> <div> Ash: With our heroes, of course!</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: No, silly! This one is about.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez, N. Igma, and Psycho: US!!!</div> <bR> <div> Ash: Darn!</div> <bR> <div> Misty: Don't worry, Ash, we can still have a good time.</div> <bR> <div> Josh: EWWW!!!</div> <bR> <div> Ian: Don't go there, girlfriend!</div> <bR> <div> Misty: (whacks them) Not that, dipwad!</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: Anyway, back to.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez, N. Igma, and Psycho: US!!!</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: Uh, yeeeah. We find our productive writers working hard.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Got any threes?</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Go fish.</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: I stand corrected.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: I'm borrrrrreddd!!!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Not much to do around here.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: I wish something exciting would happen.</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: Meanwhile, a sinister plot is hatching.</div> <bR> <div> ???1: I've hatched my.heeeyyy, wait a second.</div> <bR> <div> ???2: (Freaky German accent) What's your sinister plot, boss?</div> <bR> <div> ???3: I'm dying to hear it!</div> <bR> <div> ???4: I hope those bozos up in the fortress will die experiencing it, hur</div> <div> hur!</div> <bR> <div> ???1: Quiet, you fools! (Silence) The doc and I have made a powerful weapon</div> <div> of war.</div> <bR> <div> ???5: I make good weapon. It TankBlaster Twoooooo-Thousand!</div> <bR> <div> ???1: With it, we will crush our foe once and for all!!!</div> <bR> <div> All ???s: BWA HA HA HA HAAA!!!!!!</div> <bR> <div> Meanwhile.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Hey Nnnn.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: What, Psycho?</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: There'sth a big tank thingy rolling up here.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: What??? (Blackeyez and N. Igma run up to the window and see the</div> <div> TankBlaster 2000)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Crap, what now? They'll destroy the fortress! Look at the size of</div> <div> that cannon barrel!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: And the twin rocket launchers, and the four machine guns, and the</div> <div> missile launchers, and.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: What are you so worried about? (They are stunned) I built this</div> <div> fortress to be impervious to any attack. Plus, it has one of the best</div> <div> weapons in the whole galaxy! Watch.</div> <bR> <div> (The giant plasma ball on top of the fortress starts glowing and focusing</div> <div> energy.)</div> <bR> <div> ???1: Oh sh-</div> <bR> <div> (A bolt of plasma lightning blows up the TankBlaster 2000.)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: He meant to say shoot, right?</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: I hope so.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: See? And you were so worried.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: I wonder who those idiots were.</div> <bR> <div> ???5: That didn't go according to plan.</div> <bR> <div> ???2: It's okay, boss.</div> <bR> <div> ???1: Oh shut up, you suck-up! Where's that moron professor?!</div> <bR> <div> ???3: This is not good, I think.</div> <bR> <div> ???4: Someone hit me.</div> <bR> <div> ???1: Hey, you! I have a job for you.</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: Later.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Those bozos haven't tried anything else.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: I still have a bad feeling.</div> <bR> <div> (An entity materializes)</div> <bR> <div> ???2: Hi, fellas!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez, N. Igma, and Psycho: AAAHHH!!!</div> <bR> <div> (The entity opens the front door and the other evil entities come in)</div> <bR> <div> (They tie up the entities)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: What'sth up with thisth?!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Twice in once episode. You must be psychic, Blackeyez!</div> <bR> <div> ???1: We meet again, Igma.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: YOU!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Who is it?</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: My evil twin brother N. Cognito!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: That's right, bro. (N. Cognito looks exactly like N. Igma,</div> <div> except his eyes are blue, his cloak is blue instead of silver, and he</div> <div> doesn't have a Pokéball brooch.)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Figures.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: My friend here, Chameleon, easily got past your big laser ball.</div> <div> (Points to ???2. He's a scrawny guy with a lizard-like face.) And here are</div> <div> my other men. Professor Smartypants, the brains of the operation. (???5. He</div> <div> has a human-like head with a large cranium, but wears huge pants over his</div> <div> cloak.) The lovely Screech, with her supersonic voice. (???3. Is actually</div> <div> not so lovely, considering she looks psycho with long, black wavy hair.) And</div> <div> Muggsy, with the strength of ten entities! (???4. A big muscular guy. That's</div> <div> it, really.)</div> <bR> <div> (Blackeyez, N. Igma, and Psycho crack up)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: What a bunch of LOSERS!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: You must be desperate, bro!</div> <bR> <div> Screech: SILENCE!!! (Everyone holds their ears except Muggsy.)</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: We are here to crush this ridiculous Pokémon phenomenon forever!</div> <div> Oh yeah, and make N. Igma look bad. We are S.P.A.M.!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Sthpam?</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: What's that stand for?</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Sibling Pathetic And Morons?</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Sickening Pineapples And Monkeys?</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Sexy Pokémon And Men?</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Uh, no. This is a children's fic, you know.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: No, you fools! It stands for Stop Pokémon And Monsters! And now</div> <div> we will destroy the Pokémon universe!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: You won't get away with this! I'll stop you!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Maybe, but you look like you're all tied up! Ha ha ha haaa!!!</div> <bR> <div> Chameleon: Wa ha ha haaa! Great joke boss!</div> <bR> <div> Muggsy: Suck-up.</div> <bR> <div> Smartypants: (walks over to master computer) Hmmm, looks like they made an</div> <div> alternate universe.their life's work. Three new characters.(reads script)</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Destroy it first.</div> <bR> <div> Smartypants: But this is a great series!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: (bashes him) You fool! Just delete it!</div> <bR> <div> Smartypants: Okay, I'll start with the characters "Josh," "Matt," and "Ian!"</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: NOOO!!!</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: Meanwhile, in the fic world.</div> <bR> <div> Josh: Hey guys, let's. (Starts vanishing)</div> <bR> <div> Ian: Hey! (Vanishing too)</div> <bR> <div> Matt: What's going on? (Also vanishing)</div> <bR> <div> (They disappear)</div> <bR> <div> Pikachu: Pikaaa???</div> <bR> <div> Ash: Matt!</div> <bR> <div> Misty: Ian!</div> <bR> <div> Brock: Josh!</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: Back to the entity universe.</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Wa ha haaa!!! Looks at them worry. I'm so evil!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: What'll we do?</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: This laser they activated from the PC keeps our powers locked!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: I know! They took our powers, but.I think I can still use</div> <div> telekinesis! (Tries to move Pokéball in far corner) Ahh! Too hard.laser rope</div> <div> resisting. Help me out here!</div> <bR> <div> (The bookshelf falls over.)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Ooops, too hard.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Sthtupid!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Shut up and try again!</div> <bR> <div> (The entities work together and knock to Pokéball off the shelf. Dark</div> <div> Porygon pops out.)</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon: Master-Igma!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Stop them!</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon: Okey-dokey-smokey.</div> <bR> <div> (Dark Porygon goes into the computer and disables the laser ropes)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: We're free!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Let's kick some tail!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Get them!</div> <bR> <div> (Chameleon and Blackeyez face off)</div> <bR> <div> Chameleon: Can't catch me! (Vanishes)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Oh yeah? (He uses X-ray vision and zaps Chameleon)</div> <bR> <div> Chameleon: I've failed you, master!</div> <bR> <div> Muggsy: I will beat you, hur hur!</div> <bR> <div> (Blackeyez fires laser vision, but Muggsy reflects it with a mirror)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Ouch.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Why you.</div> <bR> <div> (Psycho goes psycho and twists Muggsy into a pretzel)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Yummy! (N. Igma drops a bucket of salt on his head)</div> <bR> <div> (Smartypants sneaks up behind N. Igma with a dagger in his hand)</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon: (comes out of computer) Nice-try-bub. (Dark Porygon fries him</div> <div> with Psybeam)</div> <bR> <div> Screech: I will use my supersonic screech! (Opens her mouth)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: (recovering) Stuff it, lady! (Shoves handkerchief in her throat)</div> <div> Hey, literally! (Dark Porygon creates laser ropes that tie her up)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: That leaves just you and me, Cognito!</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Hah! Being your evil twin brother, I also have the ability to</div> <div> make heavy objects appear out of nowhere! Observe! (A 200-ton weight starts</div> <div> falling out of the sky.)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Watch a master.</div> <bR> <div> (N. Igma makes a chalkboard and chalk appear out of nowhere. He makes some</div> <div> complicated algebraic equations, and then draws a giant X on the floor. He</div> <div> puts a big trampoline on it. The weight bounces off the trampoline, flies up</div> <div> again, and lands on N. Cognito's head.)</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Pain.</div> <bR> <div> Chameleon: What do we do now, boss?</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: Running away would be a good option. (They scram.)</div> <bR> <div> Chameleon: Great plan, boss!</div> <bR> <div> Muggsy: Suck-up!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Looks like we showed them!</div> <bR> <div> Dark Porygon: While-you-were-battling-I-restored-Josh-Matt-and-Ian.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Good work!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Hey! That Scweech girl isth still here! Why didn't sthe esthcape?</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Mmmph mmmph mmmmmph MMMPH!!!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Oh, that'sth why.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Dark Porygon, release her. (It does.)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: What if she goes back to S.P.A.M.?</div> <bR> <div> Screech: I won't. Those jerks just wanted me for my powers. They were using</div> <div> me! They don't like me for me. They think I'm.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Weird. I know. People sthay that to me too.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: I hate the feeling.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: I don't think you're so weird.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Really?</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Yeah.</div> <bR> <div> Screech: Thanks. You're sweet. (To all three) I'll see y'all later. (Leaves)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: She said I'm sthweet.STHWEEETT!!!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Score one for the psycho guy!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: I think I'm in love.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: All's well that ends well!</div> <bR> <div> Narraotr: Meanwhile.I use that word a lot, don't I? Anyway, meanwhile in the</div> <div> fanfic universe.</div> <bR> <div> Ash: We've been looking forever!</div> <bR> <div> Misty: Yeah, like ten minutes.</div> <bR> <div> Brock: Where could they be?</div> <bR> <div> (A giant Recycling Bin icon appears. It flips upside-down, dumping out Josh,</div> <div> Matt, and Ian. Then it vanishes.)</div> <bR> <div> Josh: Dang it was cramped in there.</div> <bR> <div> Matt: N. Igma hasn't cleaned out his Recycling Bin in, like, two months.</div> <bR> <div> Ian: Look at all these crappy fanfic ideas.</div> <bR> <div> Ash: This must be the alls well that ends well.</div> <bR> <div> Narrator: NOT YET!!!</div> <bR> <div> Josh: We found some credit cards and a note.</div> <bR> <div> Brock: It says, "To the esteemed characters: We defeated S.P.A.M., an</div> <div> anti-Pokémon group and stole their wallets! We took the cash and gave you</div> <div> the credit cards, for these pieces of plastic are of no use to us. I think</div> <div> you'll be able to use them though. -The Entities."</div> <bR> <div> Everyone: ALLLLLLL RIGHTY THEN!!!!!!!</div> <bR> <div> Matt: I can buy some CDs. heck, I can buy a whole record store!!</div> <bR> <div> (Matt runs into a record store. The owner flies out the window.)</div> <bR> <div> Owner: AAAGGGHHH!!!</div> <bR> <div> (Matt walks out with his arms full of CDs)</div> <bR> <div> Matt: Mwa ha ha! I am supreme master of all that is round, shiny, and</div> <div> musical!</div> <bR> <div> Misty: I'm gonna buy some water stones!</div> <bR> <div> Brock: I'll buy some breeder stuff!</div> <bR> <div> Ash: I'll get a season pass to the Safari Zone!</div> <bR> <div> Ian: Oooh, a joke shop!</div> <bR> <div> Josh: I'm gonna reserve all the new N64 games! And put some aside for</div> <div> GAMECUBE!</div> <bR> <div> (Everyone runs off to blow their cash, except Matt)</div> <bR> <div> Matt: Guys? A little help here! Guys? AIIIEEE!!! (Falls over due to weight</div> <div> of CDs)</div> <bR> <div> N. Cognito: I will return!</div> <bR> <div> END</div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>