Ask the Entities

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=100 BGCOLOR="#CCCCFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="14800640egdysm.jpg"> <div> <A HREF="bnp_pi.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poison Ivy"><U>Poison Ivy</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_tb.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Birth"><U>The Birth</U></A>   |   <A HREF="b_ni_pmdbz.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dragonball Blast"><U>Dragonball Blast</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_mrm.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Monster Rancher Meltdown"><U>Monster Rancher Meltdown</U></A>   |   <A HREF="nbp_adits.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="And Digimon is the Sun"><U>And Digimon is the Sun</U></A>   |   <A HREF="nb_phsc.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Pokémon HighSpeed Chase"><U>Pokémon High-Speed Chase</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_cop.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Coming of Psycho"><U>The Coming of Psycho</U></A>   |   <A HREF="nb_tpf.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Mankey Wrench in the Pokémon Factory"><U>A Mankey Wrench in the Pokémon Factory</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_fotp.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cyberspace Smackdown"><U>Cyberspace Smackdown</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_sus.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Silph Under Siege"><U>Silph Under Siege</U></A>   |   <A HREF="nbp_tat.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Truth About Tracey"><U>The Truth About Tracey</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_ehs.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Everyone Hates SPAM"><U>Everyone Hates SPAM</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_hs.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Halloween Special"><U>Halloween Special</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_spp.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Slumber Party Panic"><U>Slumber Party Panic</U></A>   |   <B>Ask the Entities</B>   |   <A HREF="bnp_gsc1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="G/S Capers: Part 1"><U>G/S Capers: Part 1</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_gsc2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="G/S Capers: Part 2"><U>G/S Capers: Part 2</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_gsc3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="G/S Capers: Part 3"><U>G/S Capers: Part 3</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_gsc4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="G/S Capers: Part 4"><U>G/S Capers: Part 4</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_zplcs.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The AmazingFantasticPlastic Zeths Pokémo"><U>The Amazing-Fantastic-Plastic Zeth's Pokémon Library Crossover Special!</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_ijo.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Incredible JokéOdyssey"><U>The Incredible Joké-Odyssey</U></A>   |   <A HREF="bnp_sfu.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Six Feet Under!"><U>Six Feet Under!</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#000066" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Home</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/oldnews.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Old News</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/zrfic/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>My Fanfics</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/zrart/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>My Fanart</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/a-j/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Authors A-J</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/k-z/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Authors K-Z</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/art/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Fanart List</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/ffsubmit.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Submit a Fanfic</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/fanart_submit.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Submit Fanart</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://pub46.ezboard.com/beeveesmb" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://pub46.ezboard.com/beeveesmb"><U><B>Message Board</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethraltier/links.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://members.fortunecity.com/zethralti"><U><B>Links</B></U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=380 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>Ask the Entities</I></div> <div> Hi, readers! (sings ala Sting) It's the starting of a brand new year (stops</div> <div> singing) and here is the latest fic from your favorite entity trio! This</div> <div> reveals some things about us...</div> <bR> <div> Ask The Entities!</div> <div> By Blackeyez, Psycho, and N. Igma</div> <bR> <div> (Curtain rises)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Hello, and welcome to the first edition of.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez, N. Igma, and Psycho: ASK THE ENTITIES!</div> <bR> <div> Audience: Yaaayyy!!!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: But WE'RE not the only onesth ansthering questhionsth, kiddies! We</div> <div> alstho have the fanfic charactersth with usth!</div> <bR> <div> Fanfic characters: (waving) HI!!!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: But first, let's get our mailbag.</div> <bR> <div> (A giant mailbag falls from the ceiling and lands on Blackeyez's head. What</div> <div> also falls are three comfy chairs, three mugs, and a coffeepot filled to the</div> <div> brim.)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Like it? I got them from The Tonight Show!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: (straining to get the mailbag off his back) It's.wonderful.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: I esthpesthlly like the coffee! Nisth touch!</div> <bR> <div> Jay Leno: (watching the program on TV) Hey! Thats where my mugs went!</div> <bR> <div> (The entities sit in their chairs. N. Igma pours everyone some coffee. He</div> <div> then puts two lumps of sugar in his cup and hands Blackeyez the sugar bowl.</div> <div> Blackeyez puts three in his mug and gives Psycho the bowl. Psycho pours the</div> <div> whole dang sugar bowl in his mug.)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Now to business. N. Igma, we happen to have a whole separate</div> <div> mailbag for you.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: (takes the bag, which is as big as he is) Good Lord! I'll start</div> <div> right away! (Reads first letter) "Dear N. Igma: Why won't you take off your</div> <div> hood? I want to see what your face looks like." (Tosses it in the fireplace)</div> <div> Screw that one. Next.(pulls out another letter) "Dear N. Igma: What does</div> <div> your face look like?" Stupid kids! (Throws it in fireplace and grabs another</div> <div> fistful of letters) "Dear N. Igma: Take off your hood, please." "Dear N.</div> <div> Igma: What does your face look like?" "Dear N. Igma: What's with the hood?"</div> <div> "Dear N. Igma".</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: We'll just leave Iggy to his mail.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: DON'T CALL ME THAT!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Iggy, Iggy, Iggy.(N. Igma throws his reading lamp at Blackeyez.</div> <div> It clocks him in the head and breaks.)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Here'sth our next letter: "Dear Blackeyez: Why are your eyes black?"</div> <div> Blackeyezth?</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Well, a long time ago I worked in a genetics lab, when Team</div> <div> Rocket broke in and set a terrorist bomb! I blew up everything, including my</div> <div> irises! Now my eyes are a nice, shiny black!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: I thought you were justht born that way.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: SHADDAP!!!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Nexstht letter: "Dear Psycho: Are you gay?" What a dumb questhion!</div> <div> Justht causthe I have a lispth doesthn't mean I'm like that! Phooey!</div> <bR> <div> James: I get accused of that a lot too.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Next. "Dear Entities: How did you create Josh, Matt, and Ian? I</div> <div> mean, how did you make them the way they are personality-wise?" Good</div> <div> question! We actually put a bit of our real selves in our characters.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Our characters are exaggerated versions of who we are in real life.</div> <div> Now, for my 23rd letter: "Dear N. Igma: What's under your hood?" (Chucks in</div> <div> fire) There goes another one.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Let'sth get the mailbag for the charactersth.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Does that mean. (The bag drops on his head) Yes, it does. Ouch.</div> <div> You know, saiyans only get stronger after they've been defeated!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Whatever. Here'sth one for Asth and Misthty. "Are you going out?"</div> <bR> <div> Ash: Going out is, uh.such a strong term.</div> <bR> <div> Misty: We're just friends!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Then why are you sitting in Ash's lap?</div> <bR> <div> Misty: Uh.we're short a chair?</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: (pushes in a spare chair) Yeah, ssssssssuuuuurrrrrrrreeeeeee. (Misty</div> <div> sits in it)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Our next letter. "What about Jessie and James? Are they</div> <div> together?"</div> <bR> <div> Jessie: Of course not! Isn't that right James?</div> <bR> <div> James: (staring at Jessie) Uhhh.yeah, whatever you say, Jessie.</div> <bR> <div> Meowth: Ahhh, put your eyes back in your head and your tongue back in your</div> <div> mouth, love-boid!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: More on these rumored relationships in later fics. "Dear N. Igma:</div> <div> TAKE OFF YOUR HOOD! NOW!!!" Tsk.number 67 was pushy. (Throws into flames) Oh</div> <div> well. On to letter 68!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: "Dear Josh: Hello, you smoking hunk of burning passion! Why don't</div> <div> you come to my house and I can give you some sweet love! I've got some</div> <div> friends who can hook up with Matt and Ian, too!"</div> <bR> <div> Josh: Yessssssss!!! (Turns to Misty) And YOU said I couldn't get a date if</div> <div> my life depended on it!</div> <bR> <div> Misty: I don't.believe it.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Wait! "P.S.: Gotcha!"</div> <bR> <div> Josh: ..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!</div> <bR> <div> Misty: HA!!!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: For Matt: "Who are your favorite artists?"</div> <bR> <div> Matt: Ummm, Metallica, Blink-182, Pink Floyd, Creed, Collective Soul.</div> <bR> <div> Ian: We get the idea. Yeesh, I thought you were gonna take all night. Any</div> <div> letters for me?</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Uh, yeah! "Ian, you are my favorite character! What are the plans</div> <div> for G/S?"</div> <bR> <div> Ian: I'm glad you asked. The entities tell us we'll be getting new Pokémon</div> <div> soon.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: It's true! That fic will be next!</div> <bR> <div> Brock: Hey, what about me?!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Nothing but this card that says "From the Sailor Scouts:</div> <div> XOXOXOXOXO"</div> <bR> <div> Brock: GIMME THAT! (Rips off the envelope) Hey, this is from the I.R.S.!</div> <bR> <div> Everyone else: HAHA!</div> <bR> <div> Brock: No fair.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: I'm not doing much better with my mail. Letter #148: "Dear N. Igma:</div> <div> Why don't you take off our hood?" This is getting just a teeny bit annoying</div> <div> now. (Throws into fire, which has gotten huge by now) Let's now turn to our</div> <div> bag of idiot mail.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Yikes!!! (Blackeyez narrowly dodges the falling sack of letters)</div> <div> HA! MISSED!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Ooops, that's the bag of bills. (Another mailbag drops from the sky</div> <div> and nestles itself in Blackeyez's skull) Oh, there's our idiot mailbag!</div> <div> Silly me.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: THAT DOES IT!!! (Blackeyez screams in rage and turns into a Super</div> <div> Saiyan.)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Ohhh, that'sth what he meant by that back there!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: You're toast, N. Igma!!!</div> <bR> <div> (Blackeyez powers up a Kamehameha. N. Igma whips out a remote control and</div> <div> pushes a button. Lightning strikes Blackeyez.)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Ack.how'd you do that?</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Special wiring.</div> <bR> <div> Brock: (looking at the bag of bills) Agh, now the electric bill's even</div> <div> HIGHER!!!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Heresth a dumb letter. "Dear Morons: POKEMON SUX!!! SO DO YOUR</div> <div> FICS!!!" Hmph! If you hate Pokémon stho much, why did you read our ficsth?</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Another letter from an incompetent fool. "Dear Idiot Entities:</div> <div> You are</div> <div> LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: I wonder who sthent usth that? (Everyone falls over in stupidity)</div> <bR> <div> Gary: Ha ha!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Guards! Seize him! (Beefy security guards grab Gary)</div> <bR> <div> Ian: Hey Oak, is that your hair, or did a weasel jump on your head?</div> <bR> <div> Audience: AHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!</div> <bR> <div> Gary: Loser. (The guards drag him off)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: (digs into idiot mailbag) Ooooh! A package? For me??</div> <bR> <div> Package: Tick.tick.tick.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Mustht be a new watch. (Starts ripping off the paper)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: NOOOOOOO. (Blackeyez dives in slow motion, grabs the package out</div> <div> of Psycho's hands, and throws out the window)</div> <bR> <div> BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: That was close.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: You blew up my new watch! Waaaaaa!!!</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Sigh.next letter. "Dear Entities: Who let the dogs out?" Huh?</div> <bR> <div> Baha Men: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!</div> <bR> <div> (A pack of dogs dash onto the stage and trample everyone)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Ouch.</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Hey! Who DID let the dogsth out?</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Missed the point, as usual. (A letter flutters down)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Hey! Here's a letter for me.(opens it) "Dear N. Igma: Your fics are</div> <div> the funniest I've read. I crack up every time. Josh, Matt, and Ian rock and</div> <div> so do you! In fact, I think you're even kind of cute!" FINALLY! A LETTER</div> <div> WITHOUT MENTIONING MY HOOD!!!</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Wait, but there'sth a PSth.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: "P.S.: But I think you should take off that ugly black hood. I want</div> <div> to see your face." .......</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: I think we sthould run.</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: That's the smartest mispronounced thing I've ever heard you say.</div> <div> (They run away screaming along with the fic characters)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</div> <bR> <div> (The curtains catch on fire. The chairs and coffee are flung into the</div> <div> audience. The set collapses, and finally, the whole stage blows up)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: (peeks from behind table) Isth it over?</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE WHAT'S UNDER THIS HOOD, HUH? THEN I'LL SHOW</div> <div> YOU!!!!!! (Whips off hood)</div> <bR> <div> Audience: EEEEEKKKKK!!!!!! (Covers eyes)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: Good Lord. (Faints)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: (rolling on ground) WAHAHAHAAA!!! OH MY GOD! ITS'TH STHO FUNNY!</div> <div> WAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!</div> <bR> <div> (Misty faints into Ash's arms. Brock's eyes pop out of his head. Jessie and</div> <div> James jump on each other, and Meowth jumps on their heads. Josh turns green.</div> <div> Matt barfs. Ian cracks up along with Psycho.)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: I guess that's enough.</div> <bR> <div> (N. Igma puts his hood back on)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Now do you see why I don't take this off?</div> <bR> <div> Audience: Yes.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Goooood. Cause if I get ANY more letters about it, I'll take it off</div> <div> again. UNDERSTAND?!</div> <bR> <div> Audience: Got it.</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: Well, that's all the time we have for today. Tune in next time for</div> <div> Ask the Entities!</div> <bR> <div> (Audience leaves)</div> <bR> <div> Psycho: Wake up Blackeyezth! Oh, I hate thisth part. (Gives Blackeyez</div> <div> mouth-to-mouth)</div> <bR> <div> Blackeyez: AAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!</div> <bR> <div> Ash: Looks like fun. (Winks)</div> <bR> <div> (Ash gives Misty mouth-to-mouth. Misty, without even opening her eyes, puts</div> <div> her arms around his neck.)</div> <bR> <div> Misty: Oh, Ash.</div> <bR> <div> Brock: Uh, Misty. (Misty opens her eyes)</div> <bR> <div> Misty: ACCCCKKKKK!!!!! IT'S NOT JUST A DREAM!!! (Jumps away) Oh, my God, I</div> <div> did NOT just do that!!! (Points to audience) YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT!!!!!!!!</div> <bR> <div> Readers: No, we just read it. (Cameras flash)</div> <bR> <div> AAML peeps: YESSS!!! SOLID EVIDENCE AT LAST! WHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!</div> <bR> <div> Misty: NOOOOO!!!! Get back here!!! (Chases them)</div> <bR> <div> Ash: Isn't the fact that it wasn't just a dream good? Have I just been</div> <div> insulted?? Oh wait, you people out there saw that.that's what she</div> <div> meant.Misty, wait for me! (Runs after them)</div> <bR> <div> James: Oh, Jessssssiiiiieeeee.</div> <bR> <div> Jessie: Don't even think about it! (James advances) He thought about it. GET</div> <div> AWAY FROM ME!!! (Runs away. James and Meowth chase her.)</div> <bR> <div> Brock: Looks like we better go too.</div> <bR> <div> Josh: Yeah.</div> <bR> <div> Matt: Yup.</div> <bR> <div> Ian: Uh-huh. (They scram.)</div> <bR> <div> N. Igma: If there is a next time, that is. Hee hee!</div> <bR> <div> (Curtain falls)</div> <bR> <div> END</div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>