TITLE: To Be Your Man
AUTHOR: Karen U
E-MAIL: ksu2@juno.com
RATING: G
CONTENT: songfic, angst, very mild themes
SPOILERS: Semi-sequel to "Excuse Me," set several months after Wild at
Heart/The Initiative
CATEGORY: Willow/Graham, Willow/Oz mentioned
FEEDBACK: I love it
SUMMARY: Willow has a decision to make...
DISTRIBUTION: Graham_Crackers and Willow_Graham list archives, Charity
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, and Fox; the
song "Hold Me" belongs Savage Garden
Author's Notes: This song would not leave me alone, so I had to write
this... { indicates song lyrics }

To Be Your Man

Willow Rosenberg walked alone along the pathway, ignoring the light rain
that was falling, completely lost in her thoughts.

Oz had come back.

After all those days, all those weeks, all those months... he had come back.

She couldn’t say she hadn’t expected it. No, it had always been in the back
of her mind, the possibility that he would show up one day, ready to resume
his spot in his life.

Never, not in any of her scenarios, had she imagined that his spot would be
gone.

{ Hey
If we can’t find a way out of these problems }

But it had happened. Slowly but surely, the void that Oz had left had
shrunk and disappeared. It wasn’t so much that someone had come along and
filled it up... Yes, it was true that she was dating someone new now, but it
wasn’t fair to him to say he had simply filled up a void. No, Graham Miller
had created a spot in her life that belonged to him and to him alone.

And now Oz was back.

She had seen the look on Graham’s face when Oz had shown up... the shock,
the contempt... the fear.

{ Then maybe we don’t need this
Standing face to face }

Oz knew the other guy was afraid. He’d seen it on his face, mixed in with
the hatred and surprise. Oh, yes, the guy was worried about his
reappearance. He was quite obviously afraid of losing Willow.

Oz just hoped the other guy needed to be worried.

{ Enemies at war we build defenses
And secret hiding places }

He had come back to Sunnydale with one purpose, to get Willow back. He had
never expected to come up against a competitor for Willow’s heart, but he
was ready for the fight.

And Oz was determined to win.

{ I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it’s alright }

Graham sat at his desk chair, gazing out the window, watching as the rain
trailed down it in little rivulets. He knew all about Oz... the love of
Willow’s life.

Former love.

The guy was a werewolf, and he was obviously dangerous. He had, after all,
killed a person. Willow had insisted that just because Oz was a werewolf,
it didn’t make him any less human.

Which meant that Veruca had been human, too.

{ I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I’m finding it hard to be your man }

But Graham wasn’t worried about that. He was in great shape, and he figured
he could take Oz on at anytime. No, it wasn’t a physical fight that he was
afraid of. But there were other kinds of fights, some that were far more
crushing to lose. And he wasn’t sure if he could win the battle he was
facing now... because he really had no control over who the winner was.
Willow did. It was all in her hands, and despite how much he loved her,
despite how hard he fought for her, she was the one who had to make the
choice in the end. And he had no idea what choice she would make...

The look on her face when Oz had reappeared had made him worry, though.

{ Hey
More than angry words I hate this silence }

Willow heaved a sigh as she continued along the path, aimlessly winding her
way around campus as she thought. She was so confused; she had no idea what
to do. She cared for Graham so much... he had been there for her... he had
held her while she cried... he had made her laugh when things had seemed so
bleak... he had been her rock... he loved her. And she loved him, too. Or,
she thought she did.

Why couldn’t Oz have just stayed away for good?

{ It’s getting so loud
Well, I want to scream }

Oz tapped his foot impatiently as he gazed out at the crowd at the Bronze.
It was his first night back with the band, and he had been certain that she
would be there. He had let her know that he wanted her answer tonight. His
eyes scanned the crowd, looking for her bright red hair.

Just where was she?

{ But bitterness has silenced these emotions
It’s getting hard to breathe }

Willow stopped in the middle of the path, surprised to discover that she was
standing in front of Lowell House.

Graham’s house.

And just what did the fact that her endless wanderings had led her here
mean?

{ So tell me isn’t happiness
Worth more than a gold diamond ring? }

The wolf had asked Willow to marry him. Graham had seen the ring, as well
as the shocked look of horror that had crossed Willow’s face when Oz had
pulled it out of his pocket. That look had made Graham certain that Willow
wouldn’t be happy with Oz, but that didn’t mean he knew what her answer
would be.

He wished he knew. He wished he knew what Willow would choose...

Would she chance at happiness with him... or would she give into the
persistence of an old flame that just wouldn’t turn to cold embers?

{ I’m willing to do anything
To calm the storm in my heart }

Willow knew that all she had to do was choose. Oz was offering her
marriage... but what kind of marriage would it be? Could she ever trust him
again? Did she even love him anymore?

And wasn’t the answer obvious if she had to ask?

{ I’ve never been the praying kind
But lately I’ve been down upon my knees }

Graham wanted Willow.

It was a simple concept, really. He loved her. He had since the night he
had run into her at the Bronze and seen her sitting there, all alone. They
had shared a table, and he had asked her to dance, and he had walked her
home... He had fallen in love with her.

Now all he had to do was hope and pray that she felt the same way.

{ Not looking for a miracle
Just a reason to believe }

Who was she supposed to go to? What was she supposed to say?

Willow looked up to what she knew was Graham’s room, and the rain and her
tears blurred her vision as she thought about the possibility of life
without him.

She didn’t think she could handle that.

{ I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it’s alright }

She was there. She was standing in front of the frat house in the rain. In
the dark. Alone.

One of the lights that lit up the walkway shone on her face, and he could
see the wetness on her features. He couldn’t tell if it was all because of
the rain, but... her shoulders were shaking with sobs. She was crying.
Dear Lord, she was crying. With a quiet curse, Graham pushed himself out of
his chair and headed downstairs.

He had to see her.

{ I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I’m finding it hard to be your man }

Oz shifted uncomfortably onstage as the Dingoes started their second number,
and he glanced at Devon, who gave him a reassuring look. She was just
running late; she’d be here.

She had to be.

{ Do you remember not long ago?
When we used to live for the nighttime }

Willow blinked furiously, trying to stop the flow of tears as the door to
Lowell House opened. She couldn’t believe she’d been standing there crying
her eyes out in front of the building she had spent so many nights in
recently. Most of the guys knew her; she’d slept in Graham’s room more
often than she had her own lately. And now whoever it was would probably
tell Graham that she had been standing out there in the rain, and she would
probably end up looking like some sort of crazed stalker. She didn’t think
she could handle that on top of everything else. She had to get out of
there, now. Choking back a sob, she started to turn away when she saw who
it was that was coming towards her.

Graham.

{ Cherish each moment
Now we don’t live we exist }

She looked so beautiful in the glare of the streetlight, even completely
drenched with her tears trailing down her cheeks. Of course, he thought she
looked beautiful in any light, although the light given out by the single
lamp in his room while they lay in bed was his favorite way to see her. And
he’d had so many opportunities to see her that way recently...

He wondered if he’d ever get to see her in that light again.

{ We just run through our lives
So alone
That’s why you’ve got to hold me }

“Hi,” she whispered as he came to stand before her. He looked so
handsome... and so concerned for her. Even after what she had put him
through, all the uncertainty while she had tried to figure out what to do,
he was still worried about her.

“You’re soaked,” he told her as he pulled his jacket off, wrapping it around
her. “Why don’t you come inside?”

{ Hey
If we can’t find a way out of these problems }

Willow couldn’t help it. His kindness, his gentle way of caring for her...
it was her undoing. Sobbing openly now, not even trying to stop the tears,
she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her face into his chest.

Graham just held her and let her cry, not even caring that the rain was
coming down on them both.

{ Then maybe we don’t need this
Standing face to face }

She felt so safe in his arms... so protected and warm. So loved. He loved
her, she had no doubts about that.

And the feeling was mutual.

“I love you,” she finally managed to say through her tears.

{ Enemies at war we build defenses
And secret hiding places }

The band finished packing their things away, and Oz stood alone in the
middle of the empty stage. She wasn’t coming.

Somehow, he had always known it.

{ I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it’s alright }

Graham pulled back from Willow, searching her face with his eyes. Had he
really heard her correctly? Did she really mean it? Her eyes still held
fresh tears, but there was something else there as well. Something that
hadn’t been there before.

Happiness.

And suddenly, he knew she had made her choice.

{ I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I’m finding it hard to be your man }

And it was him.

The End