Title: Starlight
Author: Adrian Leigh

PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. This is just my twisted idea of fun. Grrr...Argh

Authors Note: This takes place right after season four of BTVS and season one of Angel. Wolfram & Heart was not successful in bringing back Darla, Tara doesn't exist, and they found a building for Angel Investigations. *~* = thoughts

*******************************************************************************************************************

"ARGH!"

Cordelia let out a grunt of frustration and glared at the offending computer screen.

"Angel, I'm sorry but this is impossible, there is no way I can do this, we have to get someone else in here to figure it out. Call Willow."

"We've already called her a lot to help us, I don't want to bother her again."

"Angel she said we could call if we needed help. We need help. Call her."

"Alright fine, I'll see if she has any suggestions. "

"About time."

****

Willow got up from her computer and started pacing her bedroom. School was out for the summer so she had moved back home but now she was beginning to wish she had stayed in the dorm. Her parents where...somewhere she wasn't exactly sure. Buffy was patrolling with Riley, Xander was out with Anya, and Giles was with Olivia. She didn't begrudge her friends their relationships; in fact they had become even closer after the fight with Adam. It was just that she was bored.

She was climbing the walls, going slowly insane, counting the strips on the wallpaper bored. She needed something to do, something that would give her mind some activity. She couldn't even stay focused to work on her spells or her computer. This was bad.

She let out a frustrated sigh and plopped on her bed and stared at the ceiling.

*~* "Is it to much to ask for the demons to be a little more challenging. I mean come on how about a little prophecy. Not a big one just one that will require a lot of research and thinking. Ooo or some hacking, except I've hacked into everything in Sunnydale. Ethological is a funny word. Ethological. I wonder how many people know that there is actually a word that describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want. Ethological. I wonder why the English language has so many silent letters, and so many meanings for single words. I mean how about the word 'set' there are a lot of ways you can use that in a sentence. 'Set it down' 'game, set, match'. *~*

Suddenly the phone rang causing Willow to push aside her wandering thoughts. She practically leapt towards the phone.

*~* "Thank God" *~*

"Hello...No I'm not to busy what do you need...Uh huh...Uh huh...I see...I'll be down there tomorrow...NO!...I mean its no problem at all and it sounds to complicated to do over the phone...OK see ya then...Bye."

*~* "YES! Finally something to do." *~*

****

Willow walked through the office of Angel Investigations with a bounce in her step. She was so excited to get started. Finally she would have something to challenge her.

"Hello LA"

Cordelia looked up from the filing cabinet, let out a squeal of joy and ran to hug the red head. She had grown up a lot in the past year and she held no resentment toward Willow and was sincerely happy to see her.

"Willow, thank God your here. We are dying without your expertise and Brood-Boy wouldn't let us call you for the longest time."

Willow accepted Cordelia's embrace and giggled at how she had referred to Angel.

"I heard that."

The girls turned to smile at Angel as he came out of his office. He was about to offer Willow a nod of greeting when she rushed toward him for a hug instead. Angel, although taken aback, hugged her fiercely in return. He owed much to Willow, not only his soul but for the kindness and acceptance she always showed him.

"Hi Willow, it's really nice to see you."

Willow smiled up at him knowing it was the truth.

"Same goes. Now what exactly do you need me to do."

"Well, remember when Cordelia called a few months ago to help us decode some files from a law firm?"

"Yeah."

"Well we want to hack into their computer system and try to learn as much as we can about what it is they are planning next. We had a run in with them again and it looks like they are planning something big."

"Alright, I'll take a look but it will probably take me a few days. I'll have to do some preliminary stuff first. You know, go in, and take a look at what sort of security they have set up. And I shouldn't do it from here, I'll have to set up some dummy paths, so they won't be able to tell who hacked in...And you really don't have any idea what I'm talking about."

Angel and Cordelia had begun to stare at her as she rambled on about all that she needed to do. They were becoming increasingly thankful that she was here to help. Cordelia was able to snap out of it first.

"I am so glad you are here, but lets not start tonight. Lets go out to eat and then you can stay at my house. You'll get to meet Denise he's really nice. Angel you wanna come with us."

"No that’s OK, you girls have fun."

****

Willow and Cordelia sat across from each other at a trendy restaurant and gossiped about the recent events in each other’s lives.

"Gosh Will, I can't believe how much you've changed. You're like a whole new person."

"I feel like a new person. College changed me but so did life. After Oz left I didn't know if I would be able to go on. But as time passed I began to become my own person, I figured out who I was. But I'm not the only one who has changed, look at you, I can hardly tell you from the "Queen C" from high school."

" These visions have made me see all the suffering in the world. There is so much and I'm in the position to help. So I figure I should give up my title as ‘Queen B’ and help. Working with Angel was probably the best decision I ever made."

"It's so odd thinking of you and Angel working together."

A thought made her smile and she leaned forward with an evil grin.

"Do you ever have naughty thoughts about him?"

"Willow! Angel and I have a wonderful relationship. We care about each other and we consider each other family."

"Sooo...the answer is...?"

"Oh God yes."

The two girls were still laughing as the waiter came to give them the bill. He gave both an appreciative look and hung back hoping one of them would talk to him.

Unfortunately both were too involved in their conversation to give a second glance to the waiter or any of the other males that were trying to get their attention in the crowded restaurant.

They left the restaurant with their arms hooked together and walked down the street, dark head bent toward a red one, creating a friendship that would last lifetimes.



****

A few miles away a high priced lawyer stood in his window office of the law firm Wolfram & Hart. Lindsey stared out his window looking down on all the people below. As he watched them walk down the street he began to wonder how many would still be alive tomorrow, and if he would be representing any of there killers.

He turned his gaze up to see if he could see the stars. It's hard to see the stars in the city; they're always hidden. He never thought he'd ever live somewhere that the stars were hidden from view. It used to bother him but somewhere along the way he stopped looking. The first time in a long time that he turned his gaze toward the sky was months ago when he was considering going to the vampire for help. Ever since then he caught himself trying to see them more and more.

He went to the Vampire to help save three children from evil. He couldn't help thinking that maybe he was the evil that people needed saving from.

He let out a sigh and turned back toward his desk. He had just grabbed his briefcase and was reaching for his coat when his office door opened and Holland walked in.

"Hello sir, what can I do for you?"

"Nothing, I just stopped in to ask how your hand is doing, we had out finest fix it for you."

Lindsey's face remained emotionless.

"It's doing well sir, I appreciate what the partners did for me."

"I told you we wouldn't forget and we haven't, the partners have decided on something else for you. How would you like a few days off, sort of a working vacation?"

"Vacation sir? I don't understand."

"Your a smart man Lindsey I'm sure you know what a vacation is."

"Have I done something to anger the partners sir?"

Holland looked at him in exasperation.

"Lindsey this is not a punishment, you have been working hard on our little project and they have decided to reward you. You, of course, will be taking your files home, we especially want to know the vampire's new location, but you will be able to work from home and set your own hours."

Lindsey was not sure how to take this information. He could take it as face value but things at Wolfram & Hart should never be taken at face value. But to refuse would be unthinkable so he had no choice but to accept, and to keep his eyes open for ulterior motives.

"Thank you sir, I appreciate the time off and will take full advantage of it."

"We know you will Lindsey, I'll see you in two weeks."

"Yes sir."

****Angel Investigations the next day

Willow and Cordelia walked through the door of Angel Investigations laughing. Angel looked up from the computer and smiled at the sound of their laughter.

"Looks like you too had a nice time last night."

Willow beamed at him.

"It was great, Cordy showed me all around LA. It’s a great city but I can't see the stars."

Angel smiled at her.

"I know what you mean but if you go to the roof of this building you get a great view, you should try it some night."

"Thanks I will. Now down to business. I brought my lab top from home so I'll use that since I'm more familiar with it. Does this law firm know where your new office is located?"

At a shake of his head she went on. Angel was always amazed at the change that came over her when she spoke with such authority. It was almost breathtaking.

"Good that will make them figuring out who is hacking into the system a little harder. I'll still make sure I set up some dummy channels to confuse them with. They will most likely have a very secure system, probably with passwords. Can I see everything you have on this firm so I can familiarize myself with the type of people I'm dealing with? It will make it easier to determine how they have set up there system..."

As Willow went on Cordelia got the files for her. Then they both just sat back and watched her work. She really was amazing.

****

A few hours later Willow snapped her computer shut and let out a frustrated sigh.

Angel looked up from the desk in his office and walked into the room where Willow was.

"What's wrong?"

Willow looked up at him with a tired look on her face.

"First of all these people are evil. I mean I've seen a lot of evil and these people are defiantly is it. Second there security is state of the art; I've never seen anything like it. They've combined science and magic which, believe me, is not good. I'm just getting a feel for there system right now and already I've hit some brick walls."

"Willow if this is going to be to difficult please don't..."

"I didn't say it was too difficult," Willow cut in, "I just said it was state of the art. I can get in it will just take some time. I can do it so don't even think of getting rid of me."

Angel tried to hide a smile as he looked at Willow's resolve face. He could tell now why no one was able to stop her from doing something she wanted to.

"OK fine, but at least take a break, go get some air, take a walk. See LA in the daylight."

"I like that idea, I'll be back in an hour or so."

****

Lindsey shoved the papers on his desk aside. He had only been working at home for a day and already he was going out of his mind. He was thinking thoughts a man in his position couldn't afford to be thinking. He was doubting himself and who he was. Wondering again if he was evil. Finally he stood up and grabbed his coat. He needed some air.

****

Willow had decided to bypass the normal tourist spots and instead choose to sit outside a little cafe and enjoy a cup of tea. She had also stopped off in a great hole in the wall bookstore that seemed had been made just for her. She made a mental promise to go back soon and buy a couple more books.

The waiter had just set down her cup when she saw him. He was older but not more than 25, and gorgeous. Willow's breath caught as he looked over and made eye contact with her.

*~*Oh my Oh my oh my. He is beautiful. Oh look at those eyes, they're so beautiful, they go on forever, I could get lost in those eyes. He's not looking away, why isn't he looking away. Should I look away? Oh I can't. He's smiling what should I do what should I do. Oh I know smile Willow. OK good I'm smiling Ok I need to stop now, look away Willow. OK now I'm looking across the street. Not as interesting or as beautiful. Damn am I aloud to look back. Damn I wish Cordy were here she would know what to do. OK I'm going to look back. OK Willow be casual just make it a glance. OK I'm glancing and He's still looking at me oh my oh my oh my. OK he's coming over. Be cool Willow calm and collected.*~*

The little cafe was one of Lindsey's favorites one he visited often. This was the first time he had ever seen her though. As he had approached he couldn't help but notice the red head. She was extraordinary. There was a brightness surrounding her, innocence and Lindsey was powerless against it. He was drawn to the light that seemed to emanating from her.

*~* My god she's beautiful, maybe a little young. Probably still in college, that’s not to bad. Look at those eyes; I don't think I've ever seen that exact shade of green before. Oh wow, what a smile. Is she glowing? I have to talk to her. OK here I go. I'm a very smart and powerful man I can talk to a woman. I think*~*

"Hello."

Willow looked into the eyes that belonged to the beautiful voice that just spoke to her.... and totally forgot how to speak.

*~*She's not saying anything. OK she really didn't want me to come talk to her, how do I get out of this. Oh dear*~*

*~*Say something Willow say something saysomethingsaysomething*~*

"Willow...um my name is Willow...I mean hi."

Lindsey smiled down at the young woman whose face was gradually becoming the color of her hair. But she had spoken to him and that was all that mattered.

"It's nice to meat you Willow, my name is Lindsey. May I sit down?"

"Please do."

What fallowed was one of the best conversations either of them could ever remember having. They talked about everything and nothing and at times were just silent. They gave no notice to the other customers around them or the people who continually passed by. For each of them there was a feeling of completeness, as if something inside each of them clicked into place and for the first time they were whole.

Willow finally looked around and noticed that the sun was setting.

"Oh my goodness, I've really got to go, I've been gone for so long my friends are probably worried."

She gathered her packages and smiled when she saw the disappointed look on Lindsey’s face. She stood up and looked at him expectantly.

"This is where you ask for my number so we can see each other again."

Lindsey smiled widely.

"Silly me. May I have your phone number so we could, perhaps get together again."

"Well since you asked."

They shared a laugh as she gave him her cell phone number.

As she handed him the piece of paper there hands briefly touched and there eyes met. Going on instinct he leaned in and brushed his lips lightly against her cheek. These touches were brief and innocent yet time all of a sudden began moving in slow motion. Everything seemed to fade away and the only thing that existed was the feel of his lips as they pressed against her cheek and the feel of their hands as they touched. Gray eyes looked into green and nothing else existed.

All of a sudden a waiter passed by and accidentally bumped into them, breaking the spell.

"I'll call you."

"Alright, goodbye."

She looked at him just a bit longer before turning and heading down the street.

****

Willow walked through the door of Angel Investigations in a daze. She felt like she was floating on air. She set her bags down and walked to her computer not even seeing Angel or hearing him when he spoke to her.

"Willow. Willow."

Willow finally came out of her daze and smiled up at the confused vampire.

"I'm sorry did you say something."

Angel let out an exasperated sigh.

"You've been gone a long time I was wondering if you were alright."

"I'm sorry I was gone so long, I lost track of time. I feel wonderful."

The dazed look and little smile was back on her face and Angel knew he probably wouldn't be able to get her attention again.

Just then Cordelia walked into the room and noticed Willow just sitting at the desk smiling at the air.

"Is he cute?"

Angel turned to look at Cordelia.

"Is who cute?"

"The man that put that look in her eyes. Come on Willow spill, what’s he look like."

"Cordy you can't just assume that because Willow is happy that it's..."

"Tall, brown hair, and gray eyes that I could be lost in for days."

They both sighed.

"What does he do?"

"Umm.... we didn't get that far."

"What was he wearing."?

"Armani I think."

"He's a keeper."

The girls looked at each other and smiled. It was a look filled with knowledge that only a woman can have, they each recognized it as the beginning of something important. Something life changing. Willow sighed again.

"Oh girl you're in trouble."

"I know."

"Is it OK that I haven't the slightest idea what is going on."?

Angel looked very uncomfortable.

Cordelia decided to spare him.

"Willow's met someone. So what is this guys n.... AHHH!"

Angel caught her as her legs decided to stop working and she fell toward the ground. As the vision passed Angel helped her sit in a chair and Willow ran to get her an aspirin.

"What did you see."?

"Vamp buffet. It's in a club called The Underground."

"Alright, call Wesley tell him what you saw, we'll meet him over there."

Willow looked at the pair anxiously.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Hold things here until we get back."

With that they were out the door and Willow was left standing alone in the middle of the room.

"Well then, that was exciting. And now I’m talking to myself"

Feeling energized and in need of something to do she sat down at her computer. All of a sudden Wolfram & Harts security didn't seem so daunting.

****

An hour or so later Willow was still at the computer and making progress on getting through the barriers that were continuously set before her. So deep in concentration was she that when her cell phone rang she let out a little cry.

"Hello."

"Willow."

She recognized the voice at the other end of the line immediately.

"Lindsey hi."

"I know I saw you just a few hours ago but I was wondering if you’d like to go out."

"I’m so sorry I can’t"

"Oh, alright then I’ll just…"

"No wait. I don’t mean that I can’t like ever I just can’t right now. My friend was called away and I have to say here and watch things for him."

"OH! Great, how about tomorrow night then?"

"I’d love to."

"Alright, how about dinner at 7:00."

"That will work, um…do you think I could meet you there."

"No problem I’ll call you with details."

"OK Bye."

"Bye"

They each hung up and at each end of the line was a person with a dazed expression in their eyes looking at their phone.

****

About an hour later Angel and Cordelia walked through the door, looking tired and haggard.

"Did we win?"

She smiled as each plopped heavily down in a chair. Cordelia was the one that was first to answer.

"I think so yeah. Well all in a days work for…nobody else I know. I think I’m gonna crash here. I’ll see you all in the morning."

Angel said good night to Cordelia then turned to Willow.

"Did you make any progress?"

Willow gave him a broad smile. Angel became nearly breathless when he saw how her eyes practically sparkled with anticipation.

"It was a challenge but…I’m in."

"IN, as in their system in."

"Yep."

"How did you do it? Wait don’t answer that I won’t understand anyway. Thank you Willow you are a genius. What have you found"?

"Well there is a lot of junk but that’s a widely used devise to make you get lost inside the system and take up enough time shifting through it all for them to find you and put a stop to it. They won’t even know I’m here for another 15 minutes at least. Anyway, I’ve already shifted through the junk and I think I’ve found the files that will be most helpful. I’m downloading them to a disk now, it’ll take awhile to get through them all but we’ll find the information you need."

"Willow you are beautiful and wonderful and don’t you ever forget that. I owe you more than I will ever be able to repay."

Touched by his praise Willow pulled him into a tight hug.

"Thank you."

**** Angel Investigations the next day.

"Oh my God."

Cordelia looked up at Angel, a little worried at his tone of voice.

"What, what’s wrong?"

Angel just continued to stare at the computer screen.

"Willow?"

"We just found out what they were trying to put in that box."

"What."

"Darla."

****Lindsey’s apartment about the same time.

Lindsey sat at his desk trying to concentrate on his work, though all he could really think about was Willow and how they were going to meet that night. He couldn’t wait.

The shrill ring of the telephone broke into his thoughts. He sighed heavily as he reached for the phone.

"Lindsey."

"We have a situation."



**** Wolfram & Heart 30 minutes later.

"What do you mean someone hacked into our computer systems. Security is a blend of science and magic, it was supposed to be impregnable. Do you know what this means"

Lindsey was demanding answers from some of the most powerful people in the firm.

"We are well aware of the implications of what has happened and you will remember to whom you speak. This could be extremely dangerous for us especially if our assumptions are correct and the vampire is behind this. We want you to get to the bottom of this. Consider your vacation over this is top priority. You are dismissed."

****

That night Lindsey and Willow met for dinner. Though they enjoyed each other’s company each sensed the others preoccupation. As they left the restaurant Willow decided to speak up.

"OK, I’ll tell you if you tell me."

Lindsey smiled at her.

"Tell what."

"I will tell you where my mind has been all night if you tell me where yours has been."

"Fair enough. We had a ‘situation’ at work and I was called in. My vacation has been cut short and this ‘situation’ is of the utmost importance and I’ve been put right in the middle of it. You’re turn"

"The people I’m staying with have run into a bit of a very large problem. I’ve been sort of recruited to help out and It’s something that I can’t turn my back on. OK now both of us have to put these thoughts out of our minds while we are together, we won’t talk about it nor will we think about it. It’s just us. Next time we won’t make the same mistake and waste half the night dwelling on our days."

"Agreed."

Lindsey took hold of Willows hand as they began walking down the street. He squeezed it and pulled her close.

"You said next time, so there is going to be a next time."

"Most definitely."

****

Over the next weeks Willow and the others worked hard trying to learn as much as they could from the files Willow was able to get and finding away to stop the coming of Darla.

At the same time Wolfram & Heart was focusing much of their energy on trying to find out who hacked into the system and how to find them.

They went out together almost every evening leaving everything else behind them. They kept their agreement and didn’t speak of work. They were the only people that existed when they were with each other.

As they spent more and more time together Lindsey began thinking about who he was and what he stood for and he was ashamed of it. He didn’t want to be someone he was ashamed of; he didn’t want to be something Willow was ashamed of. Something had to change for him and soon.

****

Cordelia smiled as she watched Willow practically float around the apartment gathering things for her date.

"Willow, you’re glowing. This guy must be something special."

"Oh you have no idea, Cordy I think I’m in love with him."

"Willow, oh my God that’s wonderful. I feel so bad with everything that’s been going on we haven’t had any time for girl talk. I don’t even know anything about him. But if he’s responsible for the happiness that is practically radiating from you, I’m thinking he’s good for you. And he’s damn lucky to have you too."

Willow gave Cordelia a fierce hug.

"Thanks, I needed that. I’m planning an extra special night tonight and I needed a pep talk. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow."

With that Willow grabbed her bag and headed out the door.

****

Lindsey didn’t know where he was. Blindfolded he tried to strain his ears so that he could maybe hear something that would give him a clue as to where he was.

"Are we there yet?"

Willow laughed at the adorable childlike whine in his voice.

"Just a few more steps. OK we’re here. Are you ready?"

Lindsey blinked a few times as the blindfold was removed and focused on his surroundings. What he saw stunned him into silence.

In front of him was a blanket spread out on the roof of a building surrounded by candles. On one of the corners he noticed wine and cheese. She had arranged a moonlight picnic under the stars. The stars. He looked up at the magnificence. He could see them, they were clear and bright and absolutely beautiful.

Willow watched a little apprehensively as Lindsey walked around the environment she created for them. He stood looking up at the sky as if in a daze.

"I remembered something you said once about not being able to see the stars. I thought you’d like this. Do you?"

He was finally able to tear his eyes away from above.

"It’s perfect. I can see them, thanks to you I can see them again."

He walked over to her and took hold of her hands.

"I love you. I do. I love you so much and I am not good enough for you but I can’t stop."

He took her into his arms then and kissed her passionately. He led her to the blanket and they sank to the ground together, never breaking apart."

"Wait, Lindsey wait a second."

Willow pulled away from him and looked into his questioning eyes.

"I love you too. I love you so much it hurts. I wanted you to know that."

Again their lips met and they became lost in each other. They made love for the first time on that roof with every star shining brightly down on them.

****

"Lindsey don’t you dare take all of the hot water."

"You’ll be sure to get some if you jump in here with me."

Willow laughed at the suggestion then got a calculating look on her face.

"OK."



****

"Do you really have to go?"

Willow smiled at her lover.

"Yes and you have to take me, I want you to meet the people I work with, my friends."

"I though we weren’t aloud to talk about work."

"I’ve decided to make an exception."

Lindsey sighed heavily and smiled at the woman he loved and leaned in for a kiss.

"Alright all right, I’ll go get my keys."

Willow smacked him in the bum and laughed as he walked past.

"Make it snappy."

"I’ll show you snappy."

Lindsey made a grab for her but she was able to duck past him just in time. As she did though she bumped into a table knocking over a file. Still laughing she bent over to pick it up but the laughter died on her lips when she saw what was in it.

"Willow? What’s the matter?"

She could only stair at what was before her. She looked up at him with a look of shock on her face as her mind put together the information. She didn't even realize she was talking out loud.

"Oh my God, these pictures. Cordelia, Wesley, Faith. That’s the old Angel Investigations building, and this is his card. How do you know these people, HOW?"

She continued to shift through the papers seeing the profiles of everyone, including Angel.

"Why do you have all this information, why do you need it? Oh God, you work for them don't you. You work for Wolfram & Hart! You tried to kill them, you even sent Faith to kill him?"

"Wait a minute...you know him, you know what he is?"

"Have you been using me to get to him? Is that what this was. You lied about everything. Oh God...NO! Don’t you touch me don't even come near me. You’re evil."

She said the last of it with anguish in her tone. Her heart was tearing in two. Everything had been a lie. Everything he had ever said or did, he was playing a part to get to Angel, to hurt a friend of hers. But she hadn't lied, she meant it when she told him of her love and she couldn't even deny it now. She was a fool.

She walked backwards away from him, away from the file, trying to think through everything she had just learned trying to find a way that she could have been wrong. But she couldn't find it.

Lindsay just stood there with his hand out staring at the stricken woman in his apartment. He didn't understand what was going on, how was it possible for this innocent to know that which he had been told to destroy. But he did know that she was slipping away from him and he was powerless to stop it.

"You don't understand Willow there are things in this world that you just can't comprehend."

She lashed out at him with words. Her temper was riled and her eyes flashed with fire.

"Like what. Vampires, Slayers, Visions, and Witches. Is that what I don't understand is that what I can't comprehend? If that’s what you think then you bastards didn't do your homework very well. I lived on Hell for 18 years and I have seen things you can't even imagine. I have fought evil and won time and time again and I still fight."

With a glance at the files she continued but her voice had lost all heat, all that was left was ice.

"And they fought with me.... Cordeila Chase: receives visions of people in trouble, of people in need. I knew her when she was the high school cheerleader at Sunnydale High, helping the Slayer keep the world safe. Wesley Windum-Price: "Rouge Demon Hunter" fights along side the messenger and the warrior. I knew him when he was a Watcher sent to train and look over the two Slayers in Sunnydale. Faith: Slayer you hired to kill the Vampire Angel. I knew her when she was called to Sunnydale to train with the other Slayer. Angel: Angelus, "the Vampire with the face of an Angel". Born in Galloway 240 or so years ago, an ensouled vampire who seeks redemption by helping others and fighting evil and generally getting in Wolfram & Harts way. I knew him when he watched over Sunnydale and its Slayer, He is my friend and he has saved my life more times than I can count."

She paused and looked at him.

"You need to add another profile to your file. Willow Rosenberg: Witch who returned Angelus' soul, Technopagen who hacked into Wolfram & Harts and Slayerette who fights beside the Slayer in Sunnydale. Add that to your fucking file."

With that she turned and walked out the door.

****

Later Willow would not be able to recall how she got back to Cordelia's house. As she walked through the door she didn't feel anything, she felt totally numb.

Cordelia looked up when her friend walked through the door. She could tell something was very wrong.

"Oh my God Willow what happened?...Willow come on answer me...please Willow your scaring me."

"I can't breathe, Cordelia I can't breathe, it hurts to much please make it stop hurting."

Willow collapsed and began to sob in Cordelia's arms. All Cordelia could do was hold her while her tears fell.

****

Lindsey had not moved from the spot he had sunk to when Willow had walked out. He couldn't think, thoughts and questions were running around in his head and he couldn't focus on any of them. He knew only one thing and that was that Willow was gone.

****

Cordelia was on the phone frantically talking to Angel.

"I don't know what’s wrong Angel, she's scaring me, and she won't talk about it. She finally stopped crying but now she is just staring off into space...OK.... Please hurry."

****

A few minutes later Cordelia, near tears herself, opened her door to angel. He was shocked at what he saw.

Willow was lying on the couch with her tear stained face starring blankly into space. This couldn’t be Willow. Willow was strong, unbreakable. The girl on Cordelia’s couch looked as if she was about to fall to pieces.

"Willow? Willow what’s wrong? Come on Willow tell me what the matter is. Willow please?"

Willow finally came out of her reverie and focused on the concerned faces of Angel and Cordelia. All of a sudden she reached out and grabbed Angel and but her arms around his neck in an almost painful hold.

"Willow please, tell me what’s wrong. Whatever it is we can fix it."

"I don’t think so Angel, I don’t think anything can fix this. I’m so sorry Angel I didn’t know. I should have figured it out. I just didn’t know. I’m so sorry."

"Willow listen to me. Whatever it is its OK. Well work together and we’ll make it better. Please let us help you."

"The guy I’ve been seeing. He’s a lawyer for Wolfram & Heart. His name is Lindsey. Oh God Angel I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.

Angel closed his eyes and sighed heavily. The information didn’t bother him as much as the pain he knew Willow was going through.

"He used me Angel. He had files on everyone. There were files on you, on Cordelia, even on Faith. He used me to get to you. He lied to me. He told me he loved me. Oh God Angel it hurts so bad."

Angel clinched his fist and tried to get control of the rage that was passing over him. He put Willow into the hands of Cordelia and began to walk towards the door. Cordelia yelled after him.

"Angel where are you going? Angel don’t do anything stupid. Angel!"

But he was already out the door.

****

Angel paused in front of the door he knew to be Lindsey MacDonald’s. He paused briefly and tried to get a handle on the rage that was threatening to take over. Taking an unneeded breath he knocked as normally as he could on the door. A few seconds later he heard what he had been praying for.

"Come in."

Angel kicked down the door of Lindsey’s apartment. As he stalked through the house he wasn’t prepared for what he found.

Lindsey McDonald, junior partner for Wolfram & Heart, big time lawyer, was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, tear stained face staring blankly ahead.

When Angel approached him he looked up and spoke without emotion.

"I figured you’d come. Do what you’ve come to do. I deserve anything you do to me."

Angel switched to his game face and dragged him to his feet and shoved him against the wall.

"You were using her to get to me, well now you have me. And my face is the last thing you’ll get to see."

"I didn’t."

Angel slammed him against the wall.

"Didn’t what?"

"I didn’t use her. I didn’t even know she knew about your kind."

Angel once again slammed him against the wall. When he walked in and saw him in the same condition as he had seen Willow he knew he was hurting as well. He wanted answers and he was going to have fun getting them.

"Tell me everything."

****

Willow walked out of the bathroom. At Cordelia’s urging she had taken a shower in the hopes of making herself feel a little better. It hadn’t worked but she did at least look better.

****

As Willow was in her room getting dressed Cordelia answered a knock at the door. She was shocked to see Angel standing there with Lindsey.

"What the hell is he doing here? I can’t believe you would bring that basterd within five feet of Willow."

"Cordelia, I understand what you’re saying, but Willow and Lindsey have to talk this out and work out there problems. We can deal with the problems we have with him later. Right now they have a lot to discuss."

Just then Willow walked out of her bedroom. She stopped abruptly when she saw the small group in the living room.

Willow could only stare at Lindsey.

"What do you want?"

"Willow please, let me explain some things."

"No, leave now." She turned to look at Angel, "why did you bring him here."

Angel winced at the betrayal he heard in her voice. He hoped he would forgive her. He had gotten everything out of Lindsey beginning with their first meeting and he believed that he hadn’t known about Willow’s connection with him. He also believed that he truly loved Willow. They deserved a chance to try to work it out. He knew about impossible relationships and he couldn’t deny them the chance to be happy because of his own prejudices.

"Willow I want you to talk to him, Cordelia and I will go into the next room so we won’t be far. Denise will stay with you if you need help."

Willow could only watch as they left them alone.

Lindsey looked around.

"Denise?"

All of a sudden Denise flicked the lights off and on.

"Denise is Cordelia’s ghost."

Willow moved to sit on the couch and coldly looked up at him.

"You get 10 minutes."

"Willow please just hear me out. I didn’t know about your connections with Angel, I didn’t even know you knew about things supernatural. I love you Willow I never lied about that."

"But you lied about other things, you didn’t tell me who you worked for."

"I didn’t think it mattered, but you weren’t exactly miss honesty will me either. You kept a great many things from me too. Things that if you had truly trusted me you would have told me."

"It doesn’t compare. I have never done anything close to what you and your law firm have done. I am not evil."

"Look Willow you don’t understand what it was like for me growing up. You can’t comprehend what it is like to have a hard childhood, I'm talking dirt poor - no shoes - no toilet. Six of us kids in a room, and come flue season it was down to four. - I was seven when they took the house. They just came right in and took it. - And my daddy is being nice, you know? Joking with the bastards while he signs the deed. Yeah, so we had a choice. Either you got stepped on or you got to stepping and I swore to myself that I was not going to be the guy standing there with the stupid grin on my face - while my life got dribbled out..."

"Oh please."

The sarcasm and disgust in Willows voice made him skip a beat.

"Excuse me?"

"You think that a tough childhood is an excuse? It’s a cop out and you know it. It’s what you say to make yourself feel better about what you do. You’re a big boy Lindsey and you’ve been making your own decisions for a long time now. You want to blame anything don’t blame your childhood take the responsibility for yourself. You think I don’t understand having it rough growing up? You underestimated me once I suggest you don’t do it again. I grew up in a house were my "parents" totally ignored me. The one time they did take an interest in my life my mom tried to burn me at the stake. My life has been threatened time and time again. I deal with death and pain on a regular bases. I have seen my friends hospitalized, and I have been to too many of my loved ones funerals. So don’t tell me I don’t know what it is like to have a tough time growing up."

They both were silent for a few minutes both thinking about what the other one had said.

"Your right."

Willow widened her eyes.

"I’m what."

"Your right. Willow whether you believe it or not I do love you. More than I thought I could ever love anyone. All my life I have just wanted to make money and prove that I was better than my father. In doing so I’ve become something I no longer recognize. Before you came into my life I was lost, I was trying to figure out what I really was and what I had let myself become. I could no longer see the stars no matter how hard I searched for them. Then you came into my life. You were joy and light and innocence. You are so much more than I deserve. You showed me the stars and I never wanted to lose that. I didn’t tell you what I was because I was afraid you would reject me. I knew you wouldn’t be with someone evil and I couldn’t lose you. I was so afraid. And now in keeping my true self from you my worst fear came true and I’ve lost you. I am so sorry for hurting you. I’m quitting Wolfram & Heart, for real this time, but not for you. Although you helped me see myself clearly, I’m leaving for me. I can’t be what I am any longer. My times up so I’ll go, but I love you Willow, never forget that."

With that he turned and began walking toward the door. Willow watched him go until he reached the door. She couldn’t allow him to go any further.

"Lindsey! Wait. You don’t get the last word; you have to listen to me now.

She walked to him until she was so close they were almost touching. She looked into the eyes she loved so much and began to have her say.

"You did not keep your true self from me you understand. I have been seeing your true self all along. That other side of you, that side that works for Wolfram& Heart, that’s not you, that was never you. The man that has been with me this past month, the man that gazed at the stars with me, the man who loves me, the man I love, that is the real you. Don’t you ever forget that."

At her words Lindsey felt as if his world was finally coming into focus again. As he looked into her smiling face and radiant eyes he felt his heart expand. At in invisible push forward he put his arms around her and a wave of love swept over them. As there lips met they truly became one.

As they stood there in each other’s arms they were aware that they’re were many rocky roads ahead. But they were together they would face it all side by side. In that kiss they’re was a promise to never leave each other, a promise to no longer keep things from each other, and a vow of love.



The End