Title: The Ocean's Secrets (1/1)

Author: Electra - Sadie@antisocial.com

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Willow contemplates the ocean, and other things.

Pairing: Willow/Spike mostly.

Disclaimer: Joss is king, I am but a lowly serf using his characters for my own evil purposes...(insert evil laugh here)

Distribution: If you have something of mine already, go right ahead, if not, just tell me where it's going k?

Spoilers: Some of season 4 and I changed some things like Maggie Walsh was never killed and Adam never happened therefore the Initiative is still operational.

Notes: This story deals with suicide and lots of death and destruction. Though not in gory detail.

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Willow shivered. The night breeze was cool on her bare arms as she stood at the precipice of Sunnydale's only cliff clad only in a white dress she'd used once in a Wiccan ritual.

The rocks and raging waves below her seemed unreal, far off. Willow shuffled her bare feet slightly closer to the edge and took a heaving breath. Tears rolled freely down her cheeks as she relived the memories of that night three years ago for the last time.

Buffy had gone patrolling as usual and the rest of the gang, including Spike and Riley, had settled down for a boring night of research on a new demon in town. It was about two hours later when news of a big fight in Sunnydale's oldest cemetary drifted to the group. Word had it that the Slayer was fighting some big demon, and losing. They had all rushed down there only to find Buffy dead, and Professor Walsh congratulating the demon for a job well done. When a member of the Initiative spotted them, Walsh had ordered them all destroyed since there could be no witnesses alive to relay the message back to the council about what they'd done. They'd all tried so hard to escape, but there were too many Initiatives and they soon found themselves backed into a corner, surrounded on all sides by commandos.

Willow had been the only one to escape the Initiative's clutches, as she had turned down a back alley instead of following the rest up the main street. Willow had hid in an old building as the screams and pleas for help made by her friends cut through the otherwise silent night. When she ventured out of the building a few hours later, she found what remained of her friends lying in the street. They had been made to look as if wild animals had attacked them. Spike had not survived either, as a pile of ashes lay partially scattered near the unidentifiable bodies of her dearest friends.

Spike and her had been together not three weeks, only professing their feelings after a year of concealed emotions and secret glances. They had spent every waking moment together, with Willow trying night and day to find some way to remove his chip. He was her love, her lover and her best friend, and in return, she was his Fire Goddess. He had worshipped her as if he could never be worthy, and treated her as the beautiful person he had convinced her she was.

That love had been torn apart by the very people who had sworn to protect that love, to protect those who needed it. All Willow's hopes, dreams and aspirations had been destroyed along with her friends.

She had vowed revenge on the Initiative that day, and it had taken her three whole years to achieve it. The opportunity had come when she had slowly seduced one of the commandos away from the rest. Using subtle mind games she had picked up from Angelus she built up enough hate and anger towards the Initiative in him to form a plan to destroy the Initiative base from the inside out. He had then gotten valuble information for her and helped her bring more members to their side. Once she had enough people, she got enough weapons and ammunition to bring down the whole center from a friend who owed her a favor.

That night they had infiltrated the base and with Willow using her magic, had succeeded in destroying not only the Initiative center, but most of the commandos as well. All of their research and information had been reduced to dust in the raging fire Willow had set to the place. Once she had accomplished the goal that had occupied all her thoughts for the past three years, she had come to this place. The cliff she and Spike had spent many hours talking and making love on.

As the memories subsided, Willow brushed the tears away and smiled sadly to herself. Her mission had been completed, now she could join her friends, the only family she had ever really known.

Their images danced in her mind, Xander laughing at a joke he had made, Giles as he tried to figure out how to use the computer, Anya finally understanding what being human was really like, Riley as he looked at Buffy and Buffy as she looked at Riley. And finally, Spike as he smiled the smile he only used with her.

Willow looked down at the waves crashing against the rocks below her. She had always loved the ocean, there was something about the way it hid so many things from the rest of the world. It had secrets, just like she did. Just like everyone did. Willow raised her eyes to the black sky. There were billions of stars, shining down upon the earth in endless patterns. *I wonder if they're watching me? If you are, and if you can hear my thoughts, I'm coming. It won't be long now, just give me a minute to say goodbye to everything I've ever known.*

Willow stepped onto the very edge of the cliff and raised her arms high above her head. *Goodbye, world. Don't miss me too long.* With that last thought, Willow let herself fall forward and then she was flying, her eyes closed and a small smile on her face.

In the sky, the stars shone as bright as ever.

~END~