TITLE: Glad I Didn’t Know
AUTHOR: Karen U
E-MAIL: ksu2@juno.com
RATING: G
CONTENT: major angst
SPOILERS: None
CATEGORY: W/Gr
FEEDBACK: Love it
DISTRIBUTION: Charity, Graham Crackers, W/Gr, Temptation Embraced
Disclaimer: All BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, and Fox; the
song 'The Dance' was written by Tony Arata, and it appears on Garth Brook's
self-titled album

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Another year had passed, and he found himself standing in the same spot once
more.

Their spot.

Her spot.

{ Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared ‘neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you’d ever say goodbye }

Lord, how he missed her.

He didn’t come here often; usually he couldn’t stand the memories. But the
memories were all he had. And now, on this day, on this night, he knew he
had to come.

He just couldn’t stay away.

{ And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance, I could’ve missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance }

It had been four years since she had gone away.

Four years since he had seen her smile, heard her voice, held her in his
arms.

Four years since she had told him she loved him.

He could still remember their last night together.

It had begun right here, in the same place he was now at, with a party.

{ Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn’t I a kind
But if I’d only known how the King would fall
Hey who’s to say you know I might have changed it all }

Christmas lights had been strung through the tree branches, and there had
been so much laughter, so much joy. All of their friends had been there,
and they had danced and sang and had so much fun on this cliff looking out
over Sunnydale. He had held her in his arms, and she had been so content to
stay there.

She hadn’t wanted to go home. He’d had to carry her to the car, and she had
protested laughingly, telling him she wanted to stay on the cliff forever.
She had told him that she had everything she ever wanted right there. And
he had felt the same way, but he had told her they had to go home anyway.

And then, in the span of a second, it was all over.

{ And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance, I could’ve missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance }

The car had come out of nowhere, he was told, and plowed right into the
passenger side of the car... her side of the car. There had been no chance
for him to get out of the way. It wasn’t his fault. The fault belonged to
the man who had hit them, nobody else. The doctors had done all they could
for her, but there was just nothing that they could do for her. It was too
late, and there was just so much damage done.

She was gone, and he was alone.

But he would never forget her, and he would never regret the months they had
spent together, even though he now knew it ended in tragedy.

{ Yes my life is better left to chance
I could’ve missed the pain, but I’d of had to miss the dance... }

And so that was why, on this day, on the birthday of the woman he loved and
the anniversary of her death, Graham Miller was kneeling next to a grave
marker on the cliff overlooking Sunnydale as tears fell from his eyes.
Slowly, almost reverantly, he placed the flowers he had brought at the base
of the headstone, then lifted his hand to trace the name engraved in the
marble surface.

Willow Rosenberg.

The End