Author:M. Jade
Title:Black Magic Woman
Summary:Giles contemplates Willow's relationship with Tara
Email:m_jade34@hotmail.com
Rating:PG
Spoilers:Everything before "New Moon Rising"
Discalimer:Yeah, so I own nothing. Don't sue!
Distribution:Just ask, and you shall receive
Notes:Willow and Tara are not official at this point, but assume that Giles
suspects. This piece is also an answer to Strange Brew's "Title" Challenge.

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Of all of the members of the so-called Scooby Gang, it seems to be Willow
who surprises me the most. Of the others, I generally get what I’ve come to
expect over the years I’ve spent with them, but with Willow it is different.
I can still recall the first time she shocked me outright. It was when
she offered to do the Ritual of Soul Restoration for Angel just before he
summoned Acathla. I had never expected for Willow to get involved in magic,
but that appears to be my dear Jenny’s legacy. I was adamantly against it
at first, but Willow would have none of it, so she eventually became a
witch, much to my own chagrin. The second time I was surprised by the
hacker was when I came face to face with her double last year. To see that
side of her was truly extraordinary. I will never be able to look at Willow
the same after that. The latest addition to my ever-growing list came this
past February in the form of a fellow witch named Tara.

It really should not phase me to see Willow drawn to another witch, but it
does. When the girls came into my apartment that day, I was practically
floored, but I couldn’t bloody well admit it, now could I? The matter that
was at hand was far too important to ignore, especially for something so
petty. And when they announced that they had already found the way to
switch Buffy and Faith, I might was well have died. It seemed that Tara had
found all the answers and I, once again, had nothing. Bloody hell. The
librarian out done, once again. There seems to be a lot of that going
around these days. A short time later, Willow confirmed that Tara had been
told all about our little arrangement, and I turned into some blasted git.
I know it’s not my place to tell her how to act, but I don’t like the idea
of Willow telling our secret to some girl she barely knows.

I was well aware that Willow had been wanting to get more involved with the
higher magics for some time, and this Tara has certainly encouraged her. I
even offered to help and train Willow myself in some capacity, but now that
is now a faded memory. Now there’s only Tara. I think it’s great that
someone can see Willow’s potential and so obviously appreciates it. I think
it’s bloody marvelous. If I have taught the group anything in my time as
Watcher, it’s that magic is not something to be trifled with. My own
youthful indiscretions make that point clear enough. It’s not as if I don’t
appreciate the help Willow’s magic as been to all of us, or that I don’t
recognize her potential. Quite the opposite, in fact. What bothers me is
that I don’t know what those two have done yet. What spells they’ve
attempted. I’m sure that if I dare to ask any questions, Willow will tell
me that I’m overreacting, taking things too seriously and perhaps she’s
right. She’s told me more than once that I’m too overprotected when it
comes to her and the others. Maybe I am. I was, after all, the one who
allowed them to get involved in this mess in the first place. Doesn’t that
mean that I’m responsible for her and for them?

It’s fairly clear that Tara has feelings for Willow. You can see it in the
way she looks at her, and it seems that perhaps Willow returns those
feelings. I’m not sure of it yet, but their relationship could perhaps go
that way. After being so hurt by Oz’s hasty departure last November, our
Willow appears to be moving on, but not in the direction we expected. None
of the others really seem to notice it, or perhaps they don’t want to admit
the possibility, but I do. If and when everything comes out, I’ll probably
have pretend that I know nothing because I’m not supposed to know these
things, but I have seen the truth. It’s a side of Willow we haven’t
necessarily seen before, but it’s there all the same and I’m not sure the
others are prepared for it. I’m not even sure I’m prepared for it. And
it’s all thanks to Tara. That didn’t sound bitter, did it? And certainly
not jealous! Not when it comes to Willow. No. Certainly not.

The one thing that terrifies me the most is that no one, not even Willow
herself, knows all that much about Tara’s background. It’s sketchy at best,
and I don’t like that. When one lives on a Hellmouth, its pertanat that he
or she stays en guard at all times, that one watches those who are around
them. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart, where we are the
most vulnerable. I do hope, for Willow’s sake, that Tara has the best of
intentions when it comes to her, and so far I have not seen anything that
would testify otherwise, so I wait. For what or why I have no idea, but I
do it all the same.

I think Willow sees Tara as a representation of a side of herself that is
still emerging. Tara is a combination of all the new thoughts and emotions
that Willow has been experiencing as of late. A side away from computers,
books, and her Slayerette duties. Of all of us, it is Willow who has
changed the most in the time I’ve been aquatinted with the Slayer and her
Slayerettes. I can smile now as I look back on to the shy, reserved young
girl I met in what feels like a lifetime ago. That girl who tentatively
peeked into my library that day those three short years ago is now gone,
metamorphasized into the much stronger, more independent woman we see today.
Perhaps Tara is what completes Willow’s transformation. Only time will
tell what kind of Willow we will be left with in the end.

The thought that really strikes me now is why I should be so concerned, and
believe me when I say that I am, terribly so. The point of the matter is
that I am most assuredly not Willow’s father, teacher, mentor, or…anything
else to her. I am merely a wise old retired librarian, and that is it. I
honestly don’t know why I worry about Willow the way I do. Willow is a
grown woman who can make her own decisions without me to step in there for
her. There are no signs or portents that there is anything wrong with her
relationship with Tara, and yet here I am, acting like some jabbering prat,
or rather feeling like one. It’s certainly not a topic I’m going to bring
up for debate. The thing about waiting for signs, however, is that they
tend show up when one’s already too far gone to do anything about it. When
it comes to Willow or any of the others, I don’t want to make a habit out of
waiting that long to do something. So I wait, as a wise old friend should,
and worry like some git. Bloody fabulous, isn’t it?

I might as well face it. I’m being a bloody fool, and a rather bad one at
that. Oh, bugger it. I won’t deny that I don’t like any of it, and I’m
growing tired of making any pretense of that. Of course, when it comes to
the little group I’ve surrounded myself with, they’ve never taken the
Watcher’s opinion on anything outside of prophesy and obscure demonology,
and they’re even outgrowing that as it is. I was right when I told Ethan
that I was an old relic. Maybe Tara is just a painful reminder of how out
of the loop and unnecessary I am these days. That has to be the reason for
it, right? I have no logical reason to be this hostile towards Tara, no
excuse for feeling this way. Do I? So what if Willow is getting closer to
her? So what if Willow is spending more of her time with her? So what if
Willow is falling in love with her? Damn.