Title: A Declaration of Love
Author: Andrea
Email: aegermaine@yahoo.com
Rating: G
Pairing: Willow/Giles
Disclaimer: Joss owns the characters
Distribution: SB,Arwen, Emilie, Nickie, FeverFate,
Bite Me.....anyone else just ask!
Spoilers: New Year's Girl
Summary: Giles is leaving and Willow is not happy
Thanks: Derek for quick beta

Feedback: YES!

Note: This is based on a challenge by Becki to include
Giles leaving and the lyrics to 'I Try ' by Macy Gray


Dedication: To Becki, who issues the challenge. I hope
this is what you wanted.
****************


Today he was leaving. She couldn't believe it. Giles
was leaving Sunnydale, leaving them, leaving her
because the Watcher's Council wanted him dead. So, he
had to go into hiding for awhile. She wasn't sure how
long, but probably until this whole WC vendetta blew
over. And that could be anytime.

Willow got up from her desk and went to her bed.
Laying down, she stared up at the ceiling in deep
thought. She thought back to the first day she met
him. It was a sunny day and she was starting the
second semester of her sophomore year. Buffy had yet
to arrive and it had just been her, Xander and Jesse.

The old librarian had retired and now looking back,
Willow idly wondered if the Watcher's Council had
anything to do with it. Anyway, she was excited as a
bee about the prospect of meeting the new librarian.
Walking in, Willow remembered the first thing she had
noticed was a humungous stack of books on the oak
table. Hurrying over, she began perusing the selection
when she heard a cultured voice behind her say,

"May I help you?"

She turned around in surprise and was met with the
most intense eyes ever. They were green, like the
color of jade and even through his wire-rimmed
glasses, she could see a fire smoldering there.

Catching her breath, she answered, "Ummm...you're the
new librarian, right? They told me you were going to
come."

"They?" he asked curiously.

"The administration." Willow stuck out her hand. "I'm
Willow. Nice to meet you."

Smiling gently, he grasped her hand, "Nice to meet
you, Willow. I'm Mr.Giles."

"You're British?" she exclaimed without thinking.
Before he could say anything, she continued. "Of
course you are. British accent, British man. You know
we've never had anyone work for the school who was
from a different country."

Willow recalled how embarrassed she was from babbling
to him and how good natured he was about it. They had
spent the better part of two hours talking about books
and his former job at the British Museum. Time had
seemed to pass quickly that day and Willow rememebered
she couldn't wait to the next to see him. Even after
all this time, that same feeling of excitement at the
prospect of seeing him still surfaced.

And now he would be gone.

And she hated it.


She thought she'd was devastated when Oz left but it
was nothing compared to what she was feeling at the
knowledge of Giles leaving. She knew that for his
safety, he had to but she didn't have to like it. She
felt abandoned and she wasn't sure if she could get
along without him.

Willow's ears perked up. She lifted her head to
pinpoint the sound. It sound like paper rustling. She
sat up fully and noticed a letter on the ground.
Jumping up, she picked it up and realized that someone
had slipped it under the door.

Yanking it open, she rushed out into the hall to see
if she could spot the mail deliverer. Looking from
side to side, there was no one to be found. Shrugging,
Willow returned to her room and closed the door.
Sitting on the bed again, she turned the envelope
around in her hands before opening it. Noticing the
front, she saw her name written on it. No return
address, no nothing.

But, then she didn't need a return address to tell her
who the letter was from. She recognized the
handwriting of her name and knew it could belong to
only one person.

Giles.

Tearing it open, Willow pulled out the few pages and
began to read:

'My dearest Willow,

As you know, I have to go away. I don't want to but I
must. I need to protect Buffy, Xander and the rest,
but most of all, I need to protect you. If I stay, I
could very well threaten your life by my mere presence
and I would never do that. So, I'm leaving.

But, before I go, I must tell you something.
Something that I've wanted to tell you the very first
day I met you. I can't leave until I tell you this. I
won't be able to live with myself if I don't tell you
since I'm not sure how long I'll be away.

Willow, the day I met you was one of the most
life-altering days of my life. The first being when my
father informed me that I was to be a Watcher,the
second being the day Randall die,the third was the day
I was called to be Watcher. But, the most important
was that sunny day in March when I first saw you.

You were so incredibly friendly, so beautiful that I
couldn't help but be enshrouded in you. That day you
captured my heart like no one else and have held it
since. I truly believe that we were fated to meet.
That some supernatural higher force had brought us
together, me to Sunnydale not just to be Buffy's
Watcher but to be with you.

Since that day, my admiration, my love for you has
grown deeper with each passing hour, each passing day.
No matter that we both have gained and lost loves,
you're still the first in my heart.

I love you,Willow.

I've always loved you. In a way, I'm thankful somewhat
for my leaving otherwise I wouldn't have had the
courage to tell you this.

'Truly, I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But we're not.'

More than anything I wish that we could be together,
that I could stay but I can't.

'I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near'

I don't know how I'm going to survive without
you,Willow. Without your constant support, your
reassurance that everything in my life will be
alright. Or how am I going to live without seeing your
lovely smile that brightens even my worst days.

How am I to survive that?

'I may appear to be Free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I only seem alright or smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front.'

That's why I'm writing this to you. I know that if I
see you face to face, saying goodbye to you in person,
I'm not sure I'll be able to leave.

No, I stand corrected. I know for SURE that if I see
you that I wouldn't be able to let you go.

Ever.

So, that's why I'm writing this to you.

I wish that I had more courage to do even more.
'Here is my confession
May I be your possession?
Boy, I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny'

I wish that there could be more, wish that I had the
time to show you my love, my heart, my everything.
But, alas I cannot.

Please accept my apologies about the impersonality of
a letter but seeing you, as much as I want to, would
be both a pleasure beyond reason and a pain I don't
think I could endure.

My love always,

Giles.'


Willow's tears streamed down her cheeks and onto the
paper. Noticing that she was smearing the ink, she
hurriedly took a tissue and dabbed the letter dry.

What was she going to do?

He'd just told her that he loved her and now he was
leaving. Leaving her, leaving her love.

'I love him.'She thought. 'And he's leaving me.
Forever.'

"I can't let that happen." Willow exclaimed.

Jumping up, grabbing her jacket and stuffing the
letter in her pocket, she ran from the room and out
the dorm. She had to see him before he left.

She had to.

She just hoped it wasn't too late.

*********

The End.