WestFiction- "When You're Looking Like That" by Gabs

I phoned her early this morning and told her we had to talk, it was gonna be really difficult for me to explain to her what I was going to say without hurting her feelings. We have been together four years, four wonderful years…she’s been with me through hell and back since even before Westlife started. I love her I do but I need more, I feel that we’re drifting apart, I think it’s better for me to tell her now than to let the relationship deteriorate completely, I think we can still salvage a friendship, at least I hope we can.

GUESS I FAILED TO LOVE YOU

AND YOU’RE TAKING IT OUT TONIGHT

I parked the car about two roads away from hers and decided to walk and try and sort out what I was going to say in my head. It took me thirty minutes to walk to her house a walk which would normally take five minutes. As I walked to the door I looked up at the house I had shared so many memories in was I doing the right thing.

‘Come on Shane no turning back now.’ I told myself, I breathed and rang the doorbell.

‘Hi Shane, how are you?’ She said as she opened the door and smiled at me.

‘I’m fine thanks, how about you babes?’ I asked kissing her knowing it would be the last time that I did.

We went into the kitchen and she began making some coffee.

‘So Shane, you said we had to talk it sounded really serious.’ She asked taking out two mugs.

‘It is serious Cassie, I…I…I…think we should break up.’ I said quickly.

She dropped the jar of coffee from her hand and stared at me, I’ll never forget that look of hurt and anger in her eyes, but most of all I could see that she felt let down. She didn’t say a word and I sat there and stared back. After a terrible silence I spoke again.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK ON BY

WHEN YOU’RE LOOKING LIKE THAT

I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST GAVE AWAY

NOW I CAN’T TAKE IT BACK

I DON’T WANNA GET LOST

I DON’T WANNA LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK ON BY

WHEN YOU’RE LOOKING LIKE THAT

‘Cassie, it isn’t you it’s me, I just…’ She didn’t let me finish.

‘Yeah ok Shane, you don’t have to give me the old excuse of it isn’t you it’s me routine.’ She said almost without feeling.

‘I still want us to be friends, we can be can’t we?’ I asked hopefully.

‘Just go Shane.’ She said quietly.

‘But Cassie, I still want us…’

‘Shane just please go, you got what you wanted we aren’t together anymore, now leave me alone.’

SHE’S ALL DRESSED UP FOR GLAMOUR AND

ROCK AND ROLL

WANNA SQUEEZE HER REAL TIGHT GET OUT

OF THIS PLACE

IF ONLY I COULD TAKE CONTROL

‘Come on Cassie this isn’t fair, listen to me.’ I said and then she said something that broke my heart and made me wonder what I’d just done.

‘Fair…you’re sitting there telling me this isn’t fair. I’ll tell you what isn’t fair Shane, someone who you’ve given four years of your life to, someone you’ve always been there for and loved with all your heart coming and telling you it’s over. That’s what isn’t fair, you may as well have said that you never loved me, it probably would have hurt less if you had.’

‘You don’t understand I still love you it’s just…circumstances, I still want to salvage our friendship.’ I said tears beginning to form in my eyes.

She had already started crying and my efforts to comfort her were in vain she pushed me away time after time, but it was my own fault.

‘Shane just go please don’t make this harder that it already is.’

I stood up and went to hug her but she pushed me away again. I walked to the door and whispered something to her.

‘Please remember I’ll always love you and I never meant to hurt you.’

She just sat there and I opened the door and left.

***Six Months Later***

Since I told Cassie I wanted us to break up things have gone from bad to worse, I can’t concentrate on anything, when I sit there singing all these love songs I feel such a hypocrite, it was my own fault for breaking it off with her. At least for tonight I am going to try and forget her, Mark is taking me to the pub for a couple of drinks, we’ve got a few days off, Bry’s off with Kerry, Nicky with Georgina and even Kian is spending time with a friend.

We went into this pub on the outskirts of London, I sat down and Mark us two Guinesses. That was when I saw someone sitting at the bar with Kian, I’d know that girl anywhere it was Cassie, but what was she doing with Kian.

‘Mark look who’s at the bar with Kian, it’s Cassie.’ I said turning to him.

‘Yeah I know, Kian said I should let him tell you but I didn’t want you to be upset mate, about how Ki’s spending time with her and you aren’t.’ Said Mark.

‘You mean her and Ki are going out?’ I asked in shock.

‘No don’t be stupid, he’s her best friend has been since you and her started going out and ever since…well since you broke up they’ve been spending more time together.’

‘Well if she isn’t with Ki, then maybe she still loves me and I stand a chance.’ I said getting up.

BUT SHE’S OUT OF MY REACH FOREVER

AND JUST A WEEK AGO SHE LIED NEXT TO ME

IT’S SO IRONIC HOW I HAD TO LOSE JUST TO SEE

HOW I FAILED TO LOVE YOU

AND YOU’RE TAKING IT OUT TONIGHT

Mark tried to stop me but I was a man on a mission, I walked over to her and Kian and tapped her on the shoulder. I’ll never forget what she was wearing, a baby blue top, with black trousers and boots and a black leather jacket, she looked wonderful and the top brought out her sky blue eyes.

‘Hey Cassie.’ Was all I could say.

Her and Kian turned around and stared at me.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK ON BY

WHEN YOU’RE LOOKING LIKE THAT

I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST GAVE AWAY

NOW I CAN’T TAKE IT BACK

I DON’T WANNA GET LOST

I DON’T WANNA LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK ON BY

WHEN YOU’RE LOOKING LIKE THAT

‘Shane what are you doing here?’ Asked Kian.

‘I wanted to speak to Cassie.’ I said smiling at her.

‘Yeah well I don’t want to speak to you alright.’ She said and turned back to the bar.

‘Please Cassie just five minutes…’ I asked.

‘No, Shane I don’t need this not now ok.’ She said quietly, she sounded like she was about to cry.

‘Shay I think you should go.’ Said Kian.

‘Not until I can speak to Cassie.’ I replied standing my ground.

‘Fine five minutes.’ Cassie said almost grudgingly.

Kian went to join Mark and I sat next to her.

‘Cassie…I…I…just wanted to say sorry.’

‘Sorry for what ruining my life.’ She said looking me in the eye.

‘You aren’t gonna make this easy are you?’

‘Easy why should I make it easy these past six months haven’t been easy for me at all Shane.’

‘Yeah well it hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park for me either darling.’ I said to her bitterly.

‘Yeah well then what are you doing talking to me? Eh?’

‘I want to say that I miss you and I miss us, can’t we give us a second chance?’ I asked encouragingly.

‘A second chance, we had our chance our time, you decided to break it off there is no second chance, besides after what I’ve been through I couldn’t risk getting hurt like that again by you.’

‘I wouldn’t hurt you again Cassie I love you. Please listen to me I love you.’ I said taking her hand.

‘No you don’t Shane it’s just another empty promise, like the one we made on our 4year anniversary, we said we’d never break up and three months later we did just that, goodbye Shane.’ She said and ran from the bar out of the door, leaving me sitting there alone.

I got up and ran after her, and all I saw was Cassie crossing the road and a car screeching to a halt. I ran to her motionless body in the middle of the street, she wasn’t moving and there was blood everywhere. I picked her up and held her close, kissing her one last time. Mark and Kian came running out.

‘I love you Cassie, why did I ever let you go?’ I said as her body went limp and she stopped breathing.

‘I guess it’s true what they say, you do never miss the water until it’s gone.’ Said Mark to Kian as they watched me hunched over Cassie’ body crying. Kian nodded and a tear slipped from his eye.

I DON’T WANNA FORGET YOU

I DON’T EVEN WANNA TRY

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK ON BY

WHEN YOU’RE LOOKING LIKE THAT

The End

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