WestFiction- "On My Own" by Lajla

She wanted to go abroad for college, because she wanted to see the world, but her parents wouldn't let her go because they thought she was too young at the age of 18 to go alone in a foreign country over the Atlantic Ocean. They knew it was her biggest wish to go abroad to study, she used to talk about going to college to Ireland since she was a little girl. Partly because she had a bit of Irish in her. Her grandfather was Irish and he moved to US when he was a young man of 18.

- “Alexandra, our word is final!”

- “Well, obviously grandpa wasn't too young to come from Ireland to US when he was 18! So why am

I?”

- “Alexandra……”

- “No, I wanna know why! I think you owe me that much!” - she said getting up. She was starting to

get mad.

Little girl with stars in her eyes

They've got her all figured out

And there's nowhere to hide

Why can't they all see who I am

When will they understand

- “Alex, sweetie, you're a young, beautiful girl. Your grandfather was a strong, young man when he

moved to America. Beside, he didn't have a choice, he had to move, cos the living conditions weren't very good at that time in Ireland.”

- “But daddy, I'd be alright! For God's sake, New York is so much dangerous than Ireland! Beside, I'm

going to Sligo, and that's a small town, nothing can happen to me there! Please, daddy, you know I always wanted to go to Ireland. Since I was a kid. Why are you taking that away from me?” - she said teary-eyed, looking at her parents, as she sat back down. It hurt her parents seeing their only child crying, but they were just looking out for her.

- “Honey, we're not taking it away from you.” - her mother started saying gently. – “We're just

pushing it aside for some time. You can go to Ireland when you'll be a little older, just not now.”

- “But mum……”

- “Please understand, sweetie. We just want what's best for you.”

- “And you think by taking away my dreams of studying in Ireland you'll protect me from God knows

what?? Well, you won't! I'll just end up hating you!” - she screamed and got up, as she ran to her room and slammed the door behind her.

Ms. O'Connell looked at her husband with a sad look in her eyes.

- “We did the right thing, Katherine.” - he tried to assure her, even though he needed someone to

assure him that he didn't make a mistake.

- “I hope so, Patrick. I hope so.”

It may take some time

They don't know how it feels

Because they can't read my mind

They always say I'm too young

And they feel they should help me

But I can make it all alone out here

On my own

Alexandra threw herself on the bed and took her favourite teddy and hugged it tightly. She buried her head in her teddy and started sobbing. Soon, all that sobbing turned into crying.

She fell asleep and totally lost track of time. A knock on her door awoke her as she rubbed her eyes and sat on the bed. She looked at the clock. It was 8.15pm.

- “Come in.” - she said, realizing someone was standing outside her room. The door opened and her

mother came in, followed by her father.

- “Honey, we've been thinking.” - Ms. O'Connell said, once they sat down.

- “Look, if you didn't change your mind, then there's nothing we have to talk about. I'm just so hurt

you don't trust me on my own, and that you're treating me like a child.” - she said looking away.

- “Alex, just listen to your mother.” - her father said and Alexandra looked at them and waited to

hear what they have to say. Ms. O'Connell took her husband's hand and turned to Alexandra.

- “We've decided to let you go to Ireland.” - Alex had a confused look on her face at first, she

couldn't believe what she just heard. She looked at her father and he just nodded with a smile. Alex jumped up from the bed and started screaming and hugging her parents. The smile on her face just wouldn't come off.

Every day I feel so in demand

And all I wish I could find

Is a place I can land

One day I'll feel comfort inside

Cos I'll know who I am

- “Of my Gosh, you two are the best parents I could ever wish for! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!”

Mr. and Ms. O'Connell were in Alex's room for few more minutes, just sharing her happiness. Then they went out, leaving Alex to get ready. She had her flight to Ireland in two days.

Alex called her best friend right away to tell her the good news, and then she called the hotel in Sligo to make reservations.

Soon, those two days passed, and her plane landed in Dublin at 4pm. She got a taxi, which drove her to Sligo. She went to her hotel and right away started looking for a job. She was walking around Sligo, and just as she was passing by some cafe, she noticed a note on the window. They needed some help in the cafe. She got in and talked to the woman in the cafe and right away took the job, cos she liked the way the woman looked like and the way she acted. She was extremely nice and you could tell she was a real Irish woman. They agreed that Alexandra would come the next day, and that woman's son would show her what she has to do.

…… the next day ……

It was 7am and Alex was already in the Carlton Cafe, ready to start working.

- “Alex, you're here already.” - Ms. Filan, the owner of the cafe said.

- “Yeah, I can't wait to start working!”

- “My son will come any minute now, he will show you around.” - Ms. Filan smiled, as the door of the

cafe opened and Ms. Filan said – “Oh, there he is!” - she went over to him, as Alex turned around to look at him. – “Alex, this is my son, Shane. Shane, this is Alex, the girl I was telling you about.” - the two of them were just standing there, looking at each other, neither of them not being able to say a word. They didn't know what got into them, it was like something hit them and they couldn't move or take their eyes of each other. Shane was the first to come out of it.

- “Nice to meet you, Alex. Mam did say you were beautiful, but I didn't have a clue you were this

beautiful.”

Alex blushed as they shook their hands.

- “Nice to meet you too, Shane. I look forward working here.”

- “Well, I'm gonna leave you two kids to get to know each other. Shane, maybe you can show Alex

around Sligo later.” - Ms. Filan said, and disappeared somewhere.

- “What do you think? Wanna see Sligo later?” - Shane said.

- “Sure. But show me around the cafe first!”

Shane and Alex were spending a lot of time the next few days, they became really close friends.

I can hold the line

If I know in the end

That I won't be left behind

I don't regret what I've done

I don't think you can blame me

Now I'm standing all alone out here

On my own

Alex and Shane were walking around Sligo one day, when a girl came up to Shane and asked him for an autograph. Alex was just standing there confused, looking one second at Shane and the next at that girl. She didn't understand why would someone wanted Shane's autograph.

- “Here you go!” - Shane said to the girl when he signed.

- “Thank you! I love you guys so much, and you're my fave! You're so cute!” - the girl said and Shane

blushed.

- “Thanx! Bye!”

- “Bye! And thanx once again!” - the girl said as Shane and Alex continued walking.

- “Well? Care to explain?” - Alex said with a cheeky grin on her face.

- “Well, I'm in this band, Westlife. We're like the biggest band in the UK, and we're pretty famous

in the rest of the Europe and Asia. Also, Australia. But we're not so famous in US, which would explain the fact that you didn't recognize me.” - Shane said quickly and stopped to look at Alex.

- “Really? That's so cool! But why didn't you tell me?”

- “Well, the truth is, Alex…… I like you.” - she blushed and looked away. Shane continued. – “And I

wanted you to like me too for who I am, not for what I do. And to be honest with you, I'm relieved you didn't have a clue who I am! That means that if by any chance you do like, you would like me because I'm Shane Filan, not because I'm Shane Westlife.”

- “I do like you, Shane.” - she admitted and looked at him. There was a huge grin on his face which

would come off. – «I like you, and especially your personality. Not because of your fame or money. But because you're a real person. You showed it to me these past few days.”

Shane didn't say anything, he just slowly leaned in and their lips met.

They became a couple, but didn't go public yet. Alex's parents often called her to ask how was she doing. She told them about Shane, and at first they were worried, but after they heard the way Alex talked about him, they were happy for her. They were still asking her to come home, because they got scared they did a mistake. But Alex tried to assure them in every way possible that it was great for her in Ireland.

I'm not thinking 'bout leaving home

But I need to be on my own

Doesn't mean I have a heart of stone

I won't even ask them why

I can't ever let them see me cry

Here I'm standing all alone out here

On my own

Out here on my own

But she wasn't telling them the whole truth. She was happy in Sligo, she had a great job and a wonderful boyfriend. But it was sometimes hard for her, because she missed her mum and dad, her house, her room, she missed her teddies and all her friends back home in US. As funny as it seemed to be, she used to miss playing with her stuffed teddies and puppies. Because the truth was, no matter how much she tried to convince herself and everybody around her how adult she was, she was still a child in her heart. She used to cry sometimes because it was all too much for her. But she could never let them see her cry, she didn't want to come home to their parents, because they would think she wasn't old enough to do those things, and then they would treat her even more as a child. And she didn't want that. So she did her best to stay strong.

But as wild as Shane was, he couldn't temper his flirting. He always loved to flirt and he didn't see any harm in that. But Alex couldn't take in anymore and she broke up with him. There were a lot of tears, but she knew it was the right thing to do. She wanted a real relationship, she didn't want a boyfriend she would see once in 2 months. She wanted a normal life.

And she also quit her in job in Carlton Cafe, even though Ms. Filan said it was OK to stay, that she didn't have to quit just because she wasn't with Shane anymore. But Alex couldn't bare looking at Shane more then she had to. She even thought about moving to Dublin, but that thought soon slipped her mind cos she loved Sligo too much. And she made a lot of new friends in Sligo.

Feeling lost in a world full of lies

I can't help thinking

That love is just passin' me by

Hold on to what I believe

And keep an open hand

Sometimes, she felt as though she was all alone in the world. She didn't have anyone to talk to. Sure, she had lots of friends, but that wasn't the same. She missed Abbie, her best friend. She missed their talks late in the night, their sleep-overs, their laughs together and even their cries together. She wanted to tell her all that happened with Shane. But she couldn't.

She saw Shane sometimes. They said their 'hellos' to each other, but that was pretty much it. The wound was still fresh.

Even though 3 months passed since the two of them broke up, Alex couldn't forget about him. He was still in her heart, and she knew then more than ever, that she loved Shane. She still did. And it tore her apart knowing she would never be able to be as close to Shane as she was before.

Shane felt the same. She became a different person since they broke up. She turned into a shy person, a person his band mates didn't know. They knew they had to get him and Alex back together, no matter how they do it. But no matter how much they tried, they failed. Both of them were too stubborn.

Can I have it all

If there's no-one to turn to

When I stumble and fall

Is there a secret I need

Because no-one has told me

All alone

Alex decided to continue her life without Shane in it, she tried not to think about him at all. Most of the time, she failed. She just couldn't not think about Shane, he meant too much to her.

She kept saying to her parents how happy she was in Ireland, because she knew if she told them what happened, they would be on the first plane to Ireland, and they would take her back home. And all Alex wanted was to make it on her own. She needed to feel she was an adult.

She knew it would take a lot of time to get used to living in a foreign country, but she also knew she could do it. She was very persistent to do so, because she would prove her parents she wasn't a little girl anymore. She knew she would always be their little girl, and quite frankly, she didn't mind. But she wanted them to stop treating her like she was a child.

It may take some time

Cos I know how it feels to have

A lot on your mind

I'll never feel all alone

Cos know that I have me

Now I can make it all alone

Out here on my own

And sure enough, she made it. In just 3 months, she got herself a job, a little apartment in Sligo, and she was doing well at a college she attended in Dublin. Sure, it took her about 3 hours every morning to get there, but she knew it was all worth it. She knew she could do it, because she grew to love Ireland even more than her own country. She was proud to be Irish. Well, maybe not a real Irish, but she had a little Irish blood running in her veins, and she was well proud of it. She even learned an Irish accent, and even her parents weren't able to recognize her. They were extremely proud of their little girl, because they knew she has finally made it in the big world by herself……

Lyrics: On My Own by Alanis Morissette

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