Shane
tucked behind a few strands of hair from Kassandra's face and gazed at his
wife's sleeping profile. She stirred a little and snuggled deeper under
the covers. He shifted his gaze towards a cradle beside her, to a bundle
of joy snugly wrapped in pink flannel. He drew in a shaky breath, thinking
of how close it came to losing Kassandra. The last trimester has not been
an easy pregnancy for Kassandra and labor had been difficult, the doctors
ended up doing a cesarean. At that time, it felt like his soul was almost
wrenched from his body. He shook his head, trying to forget the memory.
"Darling, I love you," he whispered to her and placed a light
kiss on her cheek. He then went to his little girl…his little girl! She
looked like she was about to wake up, so he picked her up and carefully
cuddled her in his arms. She amazed him to no end.
She opened her eyes and looked into his. She had Kassandra's pale blue
eyes, that was obvious. "Hey there princess," he whispered. She
looked steadily into his, silently communicating to him and suddenly he
felt a new wave of tenderness burst inside. God, help me be a good
father. Please!
Feeling as though he was being watched, he turned to find Kassandra
watching him with a smile on her face.
"She's a wonder."
"That she is," Kassandra agreed.
There's two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven, and she's Daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life,
But most of all for...
Shane made his way downstairs for breakfast. He could hear the Melissa's
babbling and Kassandra's laughter mingled with the aroma of pancakes. He
leaned against the doorframe and smiled at the scene before him. Kassandra
was making breakfast and Melissa was 'trying' to help Kassandra set the
table. The scene was just picture perfect.
Melissa squealed when she noticed him. She held up her hands to be carried
and Shane complied. "Morning, papa!"
"Morning princess," Melissa was full of spirit that it affected
Shane whenever being near her. He couldn't help smiling to her,
"Sleep well?"
She nodded with a bright smile and added, "Happy Birthday Papa!"
Shane was pleasantly surprised that Melissa even knew his birthday,
"Why thank you sweetheart," giving her hug and winking at
Kassandra's direction.
"I made a present for you!" Melissa blurted out, which made
Shane smile wider, "Mammy helped me make it."
"Why don't you bring it so papa can open it before breakfast?"
Kassandra told her daughter. Setting her down, she ran towards her room.
"She's been excited for days about the present," Kassandra said
as brewed tea, "it's a miracle that she kept it a secret this
long!"
Shane wrapped his arms around Kassandra and turned her to face him.
Solemnly he said, "Thank you for Melissa." Kassandra smiled into
his eyes, he says that to her almost every day. She reached up on her toes
and kissed him, "Happy Birthday Shay."
Melissa tumbled back into the kitchen with a box in her hands and held it
out to him. Shane sat on his usual chair and placed Melissa on his lap.
"Did you wrap it?" Shane asked, noticing the crookedness of the
wrapping paper.
"All by myself," she beamed proudly.
"The box is too small for shirt, unless of course you squeezed it in
there?" Shane joked.
"Nuh-huh" Melissa shook his head.
"Now what could it be?" he wondered out loud by sniffing it.
That made Melissa giggle. "Nope it's not after shave." He then
gently shook it. The sound of it reminded him of marble in a box but
couldn't guess what it was. "Ok so it's not a tie. Can't be a pen
either. Is it your doll's hairbrush?"
"Open it papa," she urged impatiently. Kassandra set the food on
the table and sat beside him, watching him. He tore off the wrapper and
proceeded to open the box. Out fell a key chain onto his palm.
"I found the stone near the lake…and I painted over it myself…and
then mammy took me to the shop where the man put the chain to it,"
Melissa ecstatically informed him.
Shane stared at the key chain, speechless. The pebble was in a shape of a
heart and was smudged all around in red. Shane swallowed the lump that
formed in his throat. This was the second present his four year old gave
him, the first being Melissa herself, and he was preciously close to
tears.
"You don't like it?" Melissa asked, the disappointment in her
voice making him snap out of his thoughts. He looked at her eyes, which
held dismay and shook his head. Then he smiled at her and said, "you
know what I'm gonna do with this?"
"What?" she asked curiously. He winked at her and reached for
his set of the house keys, which was on the kitchen's counter top. He then
removed the existing key chain, "I," he declared as he looped
the keys to the one Melissa gave him, "am going to carry it with me
everywhere I go."
"You are going to use it?" Melissa asked in awe.
"Yep, princess," Shane confirmed, "I'll never take it
off." At that Melissa squealed and threw her arms around his neck.
Kassandra smiled softly watching both of them, "Now I remember why I
married you Shane Filan," Kassandra teased, "…you are such a
sweetheart!"
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk beside the pony Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny Daddy, but I sure tried."
With all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right,
To deserve a hug every morning,
and butterfly kisses at night.
"Come in," Melissa sang. Opening the door, Shane found Melissa
clasping a necklace around her neck. Catching his eye in the mirror, she
smiled. Then straightening, her dress, "How do I look?" she
asked and twirled around for him.
In that long, midnight blue, sleeveless dress, he said truthfully,
"Like a princess." At that moment the doorbell rang and Shane's
heart restricted.
"Papa?" she said softly, "be nice to him this
time…please?" It was obvious that her date, for today's Annual
Dinner and Dance at her school, meant a lot to her. He was half hoping her
date wouldn't dare show up in the house again but then the other part of
him didn't want to see her crushed just because he didn't.
Shane nodded and motioned her to go down first, and then took a few
moments to collect himself. She's just going to a dance with a boy she
likes, he told himself over and over. He wondered why it was hard to do
this.
Going down the stairs, he saw Jeremy Egan talking to Kassandra in the
living room. Noticing him Jeremy stood, "Good Evening, sir."
"Evening," Shane managed to return the greeting and sat beside
Kassandra on the couch. Shane pretended to be interested in the
conversation with the three. He was trying hard not to mentally tear
Jeremy into pieces. At sixteen, just over a year older than Melissa, he
bore the exact resemblance of his best mate, Kian. The same dark hair,
blue eyes and cheeky grin. Remembering their wild days in the band, Shane
hoped that's where the resemblance ended. Although the two families were
quite close, Shane did not expect Melissa to take a tremendous liking to
Kian's son.
Shane came back to reality when he felt Kassandra squeezed his arm and
looked meaningfully at him. And he noticed that both Melissa and Jeremy
were ready to leave.
Watching them walk down the driveway, "Isn't he holding her too
close?"
"Darling will you just relax," Kassandra pleaded, "She'll
be fine."
"You know," Kassandra added as an afterthought, "you are
beginning to act like my father when I was younger."
"I'm beginning to think that he is a very, very wise man and had
every good reason to."
"That," she burst out laughing, "was not what you
thought at that time."
Sweet sixteen today
She's looking like her Momma, a little more everyday.
One part woman, the other part girl
To perfume and makeup, from ribbons and curls.
Trying her wings out in a great big world
But I remember...
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you Daddy, but if you don't mind
I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong, I must of done something right
To deserve her love every morning,
and butterfly kisses at night.
All
the precious time,
Oh, like the wind
the years go by.
Precious butterfly,
Spread your wings
and fly.
New Year's dinner was as usual a noisy affair. The McFaddes', Egans' and
Filans' made it a point to get together this year for a celebration at
Bryan's. Laughter was a constant throughout the night. Melissa came down
from England, where she was working as an interior designer, for Christmas
and she'd be heading back there in a few days. The holiday was too short
in Shane's opinion.
After dinner, they sat around the fireplace, catching up with each other
"Everyone, can I have your attention please," when the room has
quieted down, Jeremy Egan proceeded, "Mel and I have an announcement
to make…" Melissa took his hand and squeezed it for encouragement,
"we are getting married." The room was silent for one second
before everyone burst into cheers and best wishes.
Shane was sure his heart stopped beating. His daughter? Getting married?
But she's too young! He watched them both, and it hit him like a ton of
bricks, his little princess wasn't little anymore. She was positively
glowing and her eyes sparkled when she laughed that it would put the
brightest diamond to shame. And it was because of the man who made her the
queen of his heart.
Later that night, Shane had found it hard to fall asleep. He watched
Kassandra as she contently slept beside him. Kassandra was excited over
the news, but Shane found it hard to share her enthusiasm. The alarm clock
beside him blinked 5:28 and Shane decided he may as well get up.
Dressed in his riding gear, he made his way to the stables for an early
morning ride. Usually riding like the fire helped him clear his mind but
it wasn't working today. He dismounted from his horse and tied the reins
to a branch then proceeded to walk down a battered path to lake.
The lake's surrounding was so peaceful that Shane couldn't help a tear
slide down his cheek. And another, and another until he was crying his
heart out. It was sometime before calmed down.
He reminisced the times when he brought Kassandra and Melissa to this
place. Melissa was just two years old then, and she just loved this place,
so much so that she cried when the had to go back home.
The sound of hoof beats broke through his thoughts. In a few seconds
Melissa sat beside him, turning his face to look at her, she asked,
"Papa, why are you crying?" tracing the path of dried tears. He
snatched her and held her tight into his embrace, not wanting to let go.
"Everything will be fine," she whispered in his ear and his
subconscious telling him that it always been him comforting her, not the
other way around. Slowly he loosened his grip and Melissa looked at him
concernedly, "Okay, papa?" And Shane nodded.
Melissa pulled up her knees and hugged them, "I miss this place, you
always brought me here, you remember?"
"How could I not remember? I also remember other things like when you
graduated… when your team won the girls soccer… your first day in
kindergarten, you absolutely refused to wear that pink dress your mam
bought for you… those times when you thought there was big bad monsters
in the closet, after checking the closet, you looked at me like I was your
hero… you learning to ride the bicycle… your pony rides… when you
took your first step… your first tooth… the feeling that went through
me when you gripped my finger with your tiny hands when you were a few
days old… it feels like that grip is slipping…"
"Papa," she said delicately, "you'll always be my hero…
I'm just I'm not that little anymore."
"I'm beginning to realize that now… my little girl, all grown
up," he said, "When exactly did you grow up and why
didn't you let me know?" Melissa laughed softly. After some time of
silence, he asked worriedly, "Are you happy? Does Jeremy make you
happy? Does he treat you right?"
"I've never been happier," Melissa said, her eyes reflecting the
early rays of light, "life's perfect right now."
"Have you two set a date yet?" he asked.
"Not exactly, but it's sometime towards the year end."
She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise, and I'll give her away.
Standing in the brideroom just staring at her
She asks me what I'm thinking, and I, said "I'm not sure. "
"I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl. "
Then she leaned over and gave me...
Butterfly kisses with her Momma there
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.
"Walk me down the aisle Daddy, it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty Daddy?"
"Daddy, don't cry."
With all that I've done wrong, I must of done something right.
To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses,
I couldn't ask God for more, than this is what love is.
I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember...
The wedding reception has been a long one, and it left Shane exhausted. He
sank on the couch and put his feet up, thinking about the day. The wedding
day went beautifully, but still one part of him…
"Shay?" Shane looked up and saw Kassandra standing at the stairs
looking at him questioningly. He smiled and said, "I'll be up in a
bit."
He toyed with his keys between his fingers and noticed the key chain for
the first time in many years. It had always been there, but this time he
carefully held it up and studied it. The colour faded but it was as sturdy
as day Melissa gave it to him.
His mind replayed the way her face brightened when he discarded that
expensive key chain for this one…with that thought, he smiled.
Every hug in the morning,
and butterfly kisses...
THE END
~ ~ ~
Song: Butterfly Kisses
Lyrics: Bob Carlisle
