WestFiction- "This I Promise You" by Rae

stories

readers

authors zone

character call form

authors

www

home

THIS I PROMISE YOU

by Rae

It's weird. When people become famous, like I have, there's this big burden of how you're not supposed to change towards your real friends and family. How when people come up to you off the street and say you were in kindergarten together, you're supposed to remember. Even if it were so long ago, and you were too young to even remember them...that wasn't an excuse. If you don't at least pretend you remember them then they get offended. "Oh she's changed." And I 'd say the same back to them except I don't even remember who they are in the first place. But what I was too young to know before was that the people you see the most often are the ones you stay closest too. Your family and friends back home who couldn't come along, were all left in the dust. Of course your family would always be there for you, no matter how much you've change. But what I've learned is when you fall in love with someone, you fall in love with them for who they are, not who they become. I was famous now with a greatly successful singing career an here I was back where I was born and for a time raised. Why did I come back? I hadn't the slightest clue, but nevertheless here I was, back here in Sligo.

When we met we were young, our parents were friends. Before we were even born our parents had planned that we would be married, as soon as we were old enough. They had a future planned out for us, and knew, just knew, it would happen. As we got older we hung out more, we went through the whole 'I hate him,' and 'I hate her,' fight. We were inseparable otherwise... The cooties stage was a rough time for the both of us. And every Friday we'd sit in his room and listen to the top 20 countdown on the radio. People thought we were peculiar. When you're that young, you're not supposed to like a member of the opposite sex... they were considered "gross" amongst your peers. But we were different. We didn't know any better but to befriend each other. It was fate that we were friends, fate that brought us together and fate that would tear us apart. As far as I can remember we were always laughing, singing, and dancing together. He knew he'd be famous right from the start. I was jealous of him, of his ambition, of his pride, and even of his lifestyle. He seemed so real, yet so serene, and he knew exactly what he wanted in life. To me he was overwhelming.

We went through the roughest times together. Things changed so suddenly, so fast. My parents were getting a divorce, we were 15. They always seemed so happy together. Finally, my mother decided we were going to move, we move across and ocean. I didn't want to leave, but I knew it was best for my mother and I. It was heartbreaking to leave him, but we agreed each other to call often. He said he loved me. "Promise?" I asked. "I promise you." he said. We were so much alike, that it hurt our parents to see us without the other one. It was like losing your own shadow, your brother or sister, or even your best friend. After 2 years his career wasn't really going anywhere, it was out of total luck that he had gotten that break anyway. He never once took for granted what he had... except maybe me. I don't think he realized how close we were until I was gone. I would get frequent phone calls, as did he. No matter how far away we were, that wasn't going to stop us.

He always was a big dreamer. He knew what he wanted in life. He promised himself to stop at nothing to get it. He had met some new friends at school, and I had grown jealous of people I had never met. I guess that's when things started to change. He was being influenced by the things around him, which was only natural. he had told me of this group he was starting with some of his buddies. Something made me not want to believe in him. maybe it was jealously, maybe it was anger, maybe it was the fact that I was scared he'd make it, make it big and forget all about me. That fear of him becoming bigger than he already was haunted me, day in and day out. Girls at school would talk about him, how he was on TV and how cute he was. Frankly, it made me sick. they didn't know the same guy I did. They didn't give him the time of day when it mattered. About a year and a half later, everything began to change. I finally got my big break. Things went much faster for me.

The phone calls were at a less frequent interval. But I understood. He was overseas now... a cell phone bill was the last thing on his mind. When he did call, he gushed with happiness, of the fans, the music, the applause, and the success. Deep down I was happy for him, yet, I wanted to cry. Being without him tore me apart. The few times I saw him we were inseparable, like the old days. When I came back, things got very uncomfortable. On the day of my return he said he'd wait for me at my house, they same house I'd left almost 4 years ago. When me and my mother arrived I was surprised to say the least. This wasn't the same boy I left back 4 years ago. This boy was a lot bigger, much bigger. He had changed so much from the last time I saw him. His cheeks were still as red as ever, his smile stronger than the sun at dawn. One thing hadn't changed, his heart. He ran up to me the second I put my foot on the ground. He whirled me around with the strongest hug I had ever felt. I couldn't speak, I was in so much shock. He gushed about how much he had missed me, how proud he was of me and my career and how he never remembered me to be this beautiful. I thought the same of him, but still couldn't speak. shocked. Complete and utter shock. We spent those few weeks together. I couldn't bare to leave again, this was my home. My mother agreed and we'd stay in Sligo.

He introduced me to all his friends, and immediately I understood where his influences came from. He had this sudden humor I never really understood until now. His 4 best friends, as he called them, were so much like him, yet totally different. I guess you could say we were a couple after that. Never official, everything had to be a secret. Being with him was probably the best and worse decision of my life. I think if I never did that, he would still be around, but things happen, people change.

When they finally made it big in the U.S. things started to change. I was promoting in Europe and he was an ocean away, again. He didn't seem to care as much about me. Rumors of him dating all these other girls was starting to get to me. I didn't know if i could trust him or not. I mean come on, I barely ever saw him, and if I did, he was on a television set in my hotel rooms and I could see just as well as the 10,000 other people watching. The only thing that never changed about him was his phone calls. No matter what hour, he would call constantly. He would tell me how much he missed me, but I felt it had become routine. I didn't feel like he really meant it anymore. Something was missing.

Then it finally happened. The day I figured I couldn't handle it any more. We had been home for a few days. Both having time off. And he wasn't the same kid I knew. He had changed some how. He was self-absorbed. Totally amused with himself. The fear of what I thought would happen finally took place. All the fame had gone straight to his head. I have to give him credit though, it took him a while for it to settle in. I promised myself I'd never be like that, no matter how successful I became. And seeing it in him was so painful, I couldn't even begin to comprehend how or why it had happened. That day was horrible. I just couldn't take it any more. Breaking up with him is still the most painful thing I've ever done to him, and to me. The only thing he could say was why. I had to explain it to him, that maybe I was selfish, maybe I was scared. It was something, something I couldn't explain, but I couldn't go on like this. All he could do was hold me... he knew how much I loved him, and he felt he needed to tell me the same. He proceeded, to blurt out words, words of how much I meant to him, how I'd be the only one he ever loved, but most importantly, the thing that hit me the hardest were his lasts words. Although it was so cliché, and I still couldn't see if he meant it or not, he told me he couldn't live without me.

A year had gone by, and still the mention of his name made my heartache. To that day I couldn't decide if I did the right thing or not. His career continued to soar, as did mine, and I guessed he had forgotten about me...

Anyway, like I said there I was back in Sligo, people coming up to me, telling me about how we once passed each other in a grocery aisle 16 years ago and they said hi to me and "Do you remember?" I nodded and smile. I sat in my room on a Friday, writing in my journal about everything that was flooding my mind. His birthday would be in exactly one week- he would turn 20. I couldn't believe it had been so long, and I was still gushing over him. He couldn't feel the same, he probably hated me more than life itself. I turned the radio on, trying to forget about him for once, although it was useless, I would give it a shot. The long distance dedication was next. The story of a young love he explained. He returned after the commercial, usually I would turn it off, this was the countdown me and him would listen to. We always turned off the long distance dedication, "mushy stuff" he'd say making a face. But I was in a mushy mood. I listened intently as the letter was being read the boy had sent in. The DJ explained how the boy had gone over seas and when he returned his whole world flipped upside down. I thought it sounded familiar, the memories brought a smile to my face. I continued to listen. He went on to say that the couple had become inseparable as they were early in their childhood, and how everything was perfect. Their jobs had caused them to travel, making their relationship a little shaky. The boy explained that he didn't think much of it, he figured things would go to normal. but they hadn't. The girl couldn't take it, didn't understand how he could still love her although he wasn't always around. The boy had one wish, for the DJ to tell the girl something. Tell her I can't live without her, the DJ stated it clearly. Goosebumps rose in my skin. "and today's long distance dedication is 'N Sync "This I Promise You" from Mark from Sligo, to his one love, his best friend, and his soul mate...Rachel, he loves you with all his heart, always has always will..." The song began to play and I could feel the tears build up in my eyes. I listened to the words. "The one you should call was standing here all along..." I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand. as the song ended, the phone rang. I picked it up, silently, still unable to speak, a familiar voice on the other end finally spoke, giving a slight laugh "Rachel...I promised that I loved you."

sign Rae's Feedback Page find out more about Rae email Rae Mark stories- main page