WestFiction- "The Game of Life" by Rae

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THE GAME OF LIFE

by Rae

Hi. My name is Rachel. Rachel Feehily. I'm 28 now. Anyway, I guess I'm writing this to tell you about my life thus far.

I married Mark Feehily when I was 20. Yea, THAT, Mark. I subconsciously expect to hear hundreds of girl scream when I say that name. 'Oh my God he's so hot!' I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've heard how lucky I was to be married to him. I might as well tell you now that it's just an image. Sensationalized to fit a certain mold. In other words, not real. Not that he was such a horrible person. I mean, not at first. We married because I was pregnant. You know, basically we married for convenience. It was the easiest thing to do at that time. Eventually Mark started drinking. After Westlife broke up, it was hard on him. He really took it to heart. I could sympathize with him but eventually sympathy runs out and annoyance runs rampant. It was all I could do not to scream at him to get over it. Like I said he eventually turned to alcohol.

Here's your glimpse into the life of a popstar's wife:

"I'm going out." Mark said as he walked towards the door of our house in Sligo.

"Mark your not going drinking again are you?" I asked concerned.

His hand was on the door knob. He didn't answer, he didn't even turn to look at me, he just stood there.

"Mark..." I said grabbing his arm. "We need to talk."

"I don't want to talk." he said shaking my hand off of him.

"Mark, please." I begged.

"Mama, mama..." our 3 year old daughter Sabeth said coming into the hallway.

"Where's daddy goin'?" she asked pulling on my skirt so I'd pick her up.

"I dunno, baby." I said holding her and pushing her blond hair out of her face.

She looked like an angel. She pointed to the floor, meaning she wanted me to put her down. I set her to the floor.

"Daddy, where are you going?" she asked looking up at him.

"Out." he said avoiding eye contact.

"Where?" she asked.

"Just out." he said.

"Why?" she asked.

Mark didn't answer he just stood there looking at the door.

"Come on Beth, mommy's gonna put you to bed." I said picking her up.

"I wanna give daddy a kiss goodnight." she said looking at him.

I brought her over to him and she leaned over in my arms and kissed his cheek.

"G'night daddy. I love you." she smiled and hugged his neck.

"I love you too, Beth." he said as I took her to her room.

I set her in bed and tucked her in. I turned on her nightlight and left the room.

When I walked back into the hall Mark was still there.

"Please talk to me." I said looking at him.

"What do u want?" he asked.

"I want to talk."

"Well go ahead."

"Mark, ur drinking has gotten way out of hand."

"What do you know. It has not." he said angrily.

"Your always at the pubs. Your hardly ever home and when you are your drunk. Sabeth never sees you. Mark, she misses you." I pleaded.

He didn't say anything.

"Mark, I'm pregnant. And it's just not gonna work if your drunk all the time. I need you here with me."

"Your what? Another one. Thanks Rachel just what I need. Can't you get rid of it." he said coldly.

"What? No, I...it's not my fault. How can u say that? You want to kill your child? What kind of person are you?" I said shocked.

"Obvious not the kind of person u thought I was." he said looking me straight in the eye. He held so much anger inside him. He moved towards the door.

I ran over to him. "Please, don't go." I begged again grabbing his arm. He pushed me away and I fell on the ground.

"Leave me alone!" he yelled he raised his hand as if to hit me. I fully expected him too. But he didn't he just walked out the door. I got up and opened it. I watched as he drove away.

"You can't just leave!!!!" I yelled. "You bastard you can't just leave..." I faded away and walked back into our home. Tears were pouring down my face.

It was around 3am and he wasn't home yet. He usually was home by now. Where was he? Just then the phone rang.

"Mrs. Feehily?" a man asked on the other end.

"Yes." I replied.

"I'm sorry to inform you, but your husbands been in an accident." he said.

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"We think you should get here as soon as possible." he said.

He told me how to get to the hospital and I quickly got up. I dressed and carried Sabeth out into the driveway and out her in her carseat. She woke up a little.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Just go to sleep Beth." I said locking her in her seat.

I drove to the hospital.

"I'm here for Mark Feehily. I'm his wife." I said to the receptionist as I held a sleeping Sabeth in my arms.

"Hold on, I'll get a doctor to talk to you." she said getting up. About 10 minutes later a doctor came out.

"Hi, Mrs. Feehily?" he asked me.

I nodded.

"We did everything we could to save your husband but..."

That's all I heard. I nodded and walked away.

"Wait, u need to sign papers...and we have his belongings."

I stopped and went back. I signed the papers and took the little bag with his personal items.

I hadn't even cried yet. I just walked back to the car and put Sabeth in. I drove and drove all the way to the airport. I bought two tickets back to my home Pennsylvania and me and Sabeth got on the plane and never looked back. About 7 months later I gave birth to Mark Jr. That's what I named him. He looks so much like his daddy. I love my kids with all my heart, I admit it's hard being a single mother. But I have family and friends to help out. I guess that's a pretty sad story, but it's just the game of life.

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