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If You Love Something...> chapters 47-48
“Bryan,” Ashley said indignantly, “let’s go. Aren’t you the one who bugged me for this ‘lil vacation?” Bryan turned to Samantha, “Are you sure it’s okay?” “Yes!” Samantha replied for the umpteenth time, “And don’t worry. Go. Have fun.” “Ya know, there’s a list of numbers you can use to reach us—“ Bryan said, but Ashley cut him off, “BRYAN!” “Well, you can’t blame me,” Bryan defending himself, “I mean, we are leaving Yvonne with Sam. Samantha who I have never seen with a kid let alone a baby. Why couldn’t we leave Yvonne at my parents or your parents?” “Tell me I did NOT hear what I think I heard,” Ashley looked at him angrily, “I can only go to this trip with a peace of mind if I leave her with someone I trust. Not that I don’t trust your parents or mine, but it’s easier if she was here so that it’s a shorter distance to fly over just in case there’s an emergency. And I trust Sam well enough…You know what, why don’t you go down first and I’ll be down in a minute.” He gave Yvonne a quick kiss and left unhappily. “I am so very sorry for that,” Ashley began apologizing for him, “he doesn’t know. He’s just—“ “He’s just doing what’s best,” finished Samantha with a small smile. Ashley just nodded and asked concernedly, “will it be okay?” “It will be fine,” Samantha assured her as she led Ashley to the door, “contrary to the popular belief, I have been around my colleagues babies and even babysat some of them. And none of the babies ever complained.” Ashley laughed at Samantha’s comment. “We’ll party all night!” “Oh you’ll party all right, but not the kind you’re thinking of,” Ashley laughed, then gave her a hug, “See you in two days.” When Ashley left, Samantha carried the bassinet to the sofa and turned on CNN. But the TV was soon forgotten as she began cooing and playing with three-month old Yvonne. The phone rang, and Samantha reached over to answer it. “Hi honey,” Mark’s cheerful voice filled the room from the speaker phone. A smile brightened Samantha’s face immediately. It amazes her how much his voice alone can lift her up. He made her feel sixteen again! Yvonne on the other hand was trying to make out where the sound came from. “Hey!” “I’m about to board a plane to London in five. I just wanted to know if you’re free tonight for—what’s that noise? Is that a baby crying?” “Yes, that would be it,” Samantha replied as she tried to calm Yvonne down. “Where did the baby come from?” Mark asked in surprise. Seizing at the opportunity to tease him, “You don’t know where babies come from?” When Mark still remained silent, Samantha continued, “You know, when a man loves a woman—“ “I know that,” Mark cut her off, and Samantha just laughed, “Come on Sam, you know what I mean.” “I’m babysitting Yvonne for the weekend,” she replied. Knowing how much Mark loved his god-daughter, Sam said, “Why don’t you stay over for the weekend?” As predicted, Mark agreed to it, “See you in a bit, hun.” Only after he hung up did it dawn on Samantha, they were about to play family for the weekend. ~ ~ ~ “She’s finally asleep,” Samantha informed Mark. For the past two hours Samantha and Mark took turns putting a very cranky Yvonne to sleep. No doubt that Yvonne sensed she was in a different surrounding and her mum wasn’t around. Samantha didn’t realize how tired she was until she sank on the couch beside Mark, who’s probably more tired from travelling. Mark pulled her close into his arms and Samantha snuggled closer to get comfortable. His scent filled her senses. She noticed that anytime they were near each other, he’ll always put his arm around her or at least hold her hand, not that she minded in any way. She smiled contentedly. “How are you?” Mark asked softly. Samantha was gently caressing his knuckles, a habit of hers, which truthfully annoyed him sometimes. “Better,” she smiled sleepily, then she added, “I’m glad you’re here.” “Do you regret coming back to London?” Mark asked after awhile. “No,” Samantha mumbled. “Do I make you happy?” She immediately sensed something was bothering him, so she looked up at him and asked, “What are you getting at?” “Being with you there’s something about it…it’s like I accomplish anything. Like today when I called you, I was drained out, then when I heard your voice, I felt energetic again and ready to take on the world. You make so happy that sometimes, I have to check and see if I’m really floating on air…” his voice trailed off, “I know that’s a little weird…It’s just that I was wondering if I made you feel that way.” Samantha circled her arms around his neck and pulled him close for a good, long passionate kiss. Then she gazed deeply into his eyes, “Whatever you said just now, I feel the exact same way. You, Mark,” she said with a smile, “make me incredibly happy!” He tightened his arm around her, glad with her little revelation. At the back of his mind, he knew she’s the one who he was supposed to hold for the rest of his life. ~ ~ ~ Mark blinked and wondered what woke him up. At this, Yvonne wailed. It amazed him how powerful her tiny lungs were. “Not again,” Samantha groaned sleepily beside him. She began to sit up when Mark stopped her, “I’ll go.” He glanced at her watch, 4 A.M. Mark tried patting Yvonne to sleep. “Come on darling, don’t cry or you’ll wake Sam up. When that was unsuccessful, he carried her. Mark put on a Mozart CD but even that didn’t work so he turned it off. He then held her upright against his chest and gently patted her back, slowly her cries subsided. “So, that’s what you wanted, eh?” he asked softly. Yvonne just gurgled happily and kicked him. “Aren’t we the feisty one!” He placed a kiss on her head and began humming while swaying to its tune, “A
dream is something all your own to keep within your heart, Mark checked to see if she’s asleep but found her wide-awake. He held her up and asked sternly, “Why aren’t you asleep yet?” This time she just gave him a wide smile and drooled all over his face. He half-laughed and half-groaned then wiped it away with his T-shirt’s sleeve. Mark held her against him upright and walked towards the window to look outside, “Look at that, up above, all those stars in the sky. There’s a million of them, like there’s a million of possibilities,” Suddenly he saw a shooting star, excitedly he told her, “That’s is what a shooting star is. They say if you close your eyes, and make a wish, it will come true.” Mark closed his eyes and made his wish, “I wish for a family…A wife. A child. A family.” Mark looked down at Yvonne, she was slowly falling asleep, so he put her to bed. ~ ~ ~ Credits: Source: www.kiddles.com CHAPTER 48 Mark watched Samantha tenderly as she slept. She stirred a little then settled back into slumber. “Good morning,” Mark interrupted her sleep. “Morning,” she mumbled. A little more alert, she asked, “Is she asleep?” “Nope. She’s wide awake in her bassinet in the hall,” Mark said. “What time is it?” she asked, rubbing her eyes. “A little after eight.” Samantha sat up in alarm, “She must be starving. Her feeding time was seven.” “Relax,” Mark said, “I made her, her milk. The directions was on your fridge, I followed that. And she drank every ounce of it.” Samantha let out a sigh of relief. “Have some faith in me. I can make a bottle of milk and feed it to a baby!” Samantha looked at Mark, he looked tired. Touching the dark circles below his eyes, “They are gonna be here in awhile. Why don’t you go and sleep in the mean time.” “Nah, I’ll live without a few hours of sleep.” He gazed intently at her, “Did I ever tell you, you look beautiful when you’re asleep?” “And I’m not when I’m awake?” Samantha said between laughter. Mark leaned down to kiss her, their lips were at the point of contact when Yvonne began to wail again. Mark poked his head to the hall, “Great timing there Yvonne.” To Samantha he said, “Doesn’t she do anything else beside cry?” “What do you expect?” she laughed as she got up, “Have a conversation with you on current economic issues?” Mark followed her to the hall and watched as she picked up Yvonne. This was something he could get used to. He hasn’t seen Samantha around children much but she seemed very comfortable with Yvonne. At exactly half past eight, there was a knock on the door. They were expecting Bryan and Ashley but thought they might come over a little later. “They must really miss her,” Mark laughed as he opened the door, “Well, well, well, for once Bryan McFadden is on time.” “Hey Mark,” Ashley greeted him with a hug when Bryan walked right passed him. Bryan took Yvonne form Samantha and held her close, “I’ve missed my baby so much,” and placed a kiss on her head. Turning to Samantha, he began apologizing, “Sam, I’m really sorry for what I said the other day…I didn’t mean it the way I did.” “It’s okay, Bry. I understand,” she assured him. Ashley came up to them and took Yvonne from Bryan, “She wasn’t any trouble, was she?” “No, she wasn’t trouble at all,” Samantha replied. “Really?” Bryan sat down the couch beside Ashley and gave a sly grin, “Then why do you two look horrible, especially you Mark? Like you’ve both didn’t have a good night’s sleep at all?” “I’ll even bet that your muscles are aching so bad,” Ashley joined in, “that all you want is soak in a very hot bath.” That was true. “Don’t look so smug Bry,” Mark came back at him, “That princess there will be bringing home the likes of you when she’s sixteen.” Bryan was a little alarmed at that comment. “On no, she won’t be allowed to date till she’s thirty.” “Right.” “Bry, honey,” Ashley interrupted him, “let’s do this one day at a time.” “But honestly, I kinda liked it,” Mark said, “I’m looking forward to a kid of my own someday.” Samantha froze at that statement. She felt Ashley’s head snap at her direction. She didn’t need to look to know Ashley was glaring at her. Samantha commanded herself to calm down. The tension was gradually building in the room. “Are you sure there, Mark?” Bryan asked Mark uncertainly. “Does anyone want a cup of tea?” Samantha attempted changing the subject. Without waiting for an answer, she left for the kitchen. Calm down, she told herself over and over again as she waited for the water to boil. She heard them talking about their trip but her thoughts were far away. When Samantha entered the hall with the tray, Mark came out from her room, dressed up, “Hey Sam, Bryan and I are going out for awhile. You need anything?” “Nope, thanks. Where are you off to anyway?” “Just downtown,” he replied with a shrug. “We’ll be back in an hour,” Bryan gave Ashley a peck in the cheek, “It will give a chance for you gals to do a little gossiping.” She knew Ashley very well and this time gossiping is the last thing they were going to do. When they left, Samantha braced herself for whatever Ashley might say. Surprisingly, Ashley just continued to sipping her tea then reached for the TV remote. She surfed a few channels then settled for one, and appeared to be engrossed in it. In fact she was doing a very good job of ignoring Samantha. “Okay, so I should have told him by now,” Samantha broke the deafening silence after a few minutes. “You think?” She replied sarcastically without looking at her. “It’s not that easy,” began Samantha. “Just spit it out to him,” Ashley cut her off, “tell him like how you told me.” “That’s cause you kept bugging me to tell you what’s wrong that fine day!” Samantha pointed out. “Tell me Sam, does he even know you’re going for the op on Saturday?” “No.” “Why?” “Because I never found the right time to tell him,” Samantha defended herself. “You know as well as I do things like this would never have the right time!” When Samantha remained silent, “What were you going to do? Wait till the very last minute and say, ‘Oh Mark, by the way, I’m having an op tomorrow. So see you in a couple of days.’?” “I just can’t,” Samantha said wearily. “And again I ask, why? For starters, don’t you think he deserves to know?” then on a kinder tone, “Besides, you can’t go through this alone.” ~ ~ ~ Bryan, Ashley, Mark and Samantha had dinner before they left for Dublin. Ashley was right, his whole body was aching. Samantha was clearing up the apartment. He took her by the hand and led her to the living room. “What are you doing?” Samantha asked in confusion. He didn’t answer. Instead he sat her on the floor while he made himself comfortable on the couch. His hands slid around her shoulders to loosen up those tense muscles. This seemed like the perfect time to talk about where their relationship was heading. But he’ll test the waters first. “Sam, you remember when we were young, we used to dream of the future?” Mark began. Samantha smiled, “Yeah, and most of yours came true.” “So did yours,” Mark said, he paused for awhile before continuing, “but there was one I never told you.” “Feel like sharing?” “I want to buy a house,” Mark declared. “Well, you already have a few of those,” Samantha chuckled. “And make it my home.” “Home?” Samantha barely whispered. Her whole body went limp when she realized where Mark was heading. “Yeah…I have always had this image in my mind: A big house, with a woman’s touch, my wife’s of course. I’ll give her everything her heart desires. We’ll be happy. And one day hopefully, the pitter-patter of little feet. We’ll have tea in the garden every other weekend and playing with them. I’ll teach them to play soccer, you’ll teach them to play the piano. They’ll help you with gardening, and they’ll help me wash the car. I’ll spoil them to bits and you’ll right every wrong,” Mark chuckled, “And every night we’ll cuddle up for a bedtime story. Then we’ll watch them sleep…A place filled with love, laughter and…fun. We’ll be a happy family.” Silence followed and Mark wondered if telling her this was just too soon. Nervously he asked, “What do you think?” When she tasted salt in her lips did she realize a tear slid down her cheek. What he said and the way he said it…he just described paradise. She broke the silence, “A wife, huh? Any candidates, yet?” “There’s this woman I’m madly in love with,” he whispered as he nibbled her ear. “And those Feehily Juniors, what number are we talking?” “Six or seven.” “Seven?” Samantha’s jaw dropped in surprise. “I’ll settle for one,” Mark chuckled, “That’s up to you, of course. I’ll wait until whenever you are willing and ready.” “Mark,” Samantha faltered a little but regained he nerve, “there something you should know.” “Yeah?” he looked questioningly at her. “I—“ she began, “promise me first that you won’t get angry.” “Okay…” Mark said uncertainly. That stricken look she had, couldn’t be good at all. She untangled herself from his arms and sat on the coffee table directly in front of him. “You have to promise me you won’t get mad,” she said again. She was scared. “Okay, I promise you I won’t get mad,” “And if what I’m about to say hurts you in any way, will you please at least try to find it in your heart and forgive me one day?” This was serious. “As long as you don’t tell me you’re in love with another man,” which he meant to lighten up the tension. When Samantha just stared at him, he began to get a little apprehensive. “Why don’t you tell me about it first,” before he jumps into conclusions. “When I came back from KL,” she started, “there was this piercing jab in my tummy, it comes and goes inconsistently. I thought it was because I wasn’t eating right for sometime, but I went to the doctors anyway. I was right, he said it was stress and gastric. But…” Samantha held her breath for as long as she could and let it out, “Long story short, one thing led to another and…and they found this complication in my womb. And the thing now is that I have to get operated on that. And if I don’t it can…be fatal.” [Writer’s Note: Before you think this is far-fetched, I know that this kind of ‘complication’ does exist, it’s just that I haven’t researched on it due to time constraints. So just bear with me on this till the end.] Samantha waited for Mark’s reaction but there was none, so she filled the silence, “And they advised me to go for checkup every two weeks, and I’m going for the surgery coming Friday.” Mark need some time to digest this, his mind stayed blank for a long time before everything came crashing into his brain. The revelation that this could be fatal rang louder than the rest. This Friday? Four more days to go. She known this for months and she tells him now? How could this happen? Just the thought of Samantha being taken away from him was too much to handle. Samantha wasn’t sure if he realized anything she said. If his expression was anything to read by, he was in pure shock. “Mark, say something,” she said nervously, “You’re scaring me.” “Sam…” he didn’t know what to say. “Are—are you saying that—that you’re dying?” Even a whisper in this dead silence was deafening. “I’m not dying. I’m…” she searched for the right word, “sick for now. But I can get worse if I don’t do this op. It’s the only option.” “Are you scared?” Mark asked after another long silence. Cause he was. “Not so much. I have ninety eight percent of coming through. I’m more scared if I don’t go for this.” “And after the surgery,” Mark asked, “you’ll be alright, right?” Samantha nodded then shook her head. “Sam?” he asked questioningly. “I’ll live, if that’s what you want to know,” she struggled not to cry. When she remained silent, he prodded gently, “And?” “Mark,” she barely whispered, “and I won’t be able to have children…ever.”
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