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If You Love Something...> chapters 43-44
It has always been Samantha. He had to tell her, or he’ll spend the rest of his life wondering. He had to try at least. He tightened his grip around her fingers. Samantha closed her eyes, don’t make it any harder for me than it already is. She stood there, silently pleading to let go of her hand. “Dance with me,” he said softly. She turned to face him, bewildered, “What? Here? Now?” He nodded. No. It’s just too hard. “I’ll miss my flight,” she replied instead. “You’ll catch the next one then…dance with me,” he pleaded softly. She inhaled deeply. One last time, it would hurt, but she’ll cherish it for the rest of her life. She stepped into his arms. Mark closed his eyes as he leaned his cheek against her head. For awhile he forgot that she was leaving and basked in the pleasure of holding her. How he missed holding her like this. He caught a faint whiff of her scent and recognized it instantly. He smiled to himself, White Musk, she hated those expensive designer perfumes. Was she imagining it, or did his heart beat in the same rhythm as hers? A tear rolled down her cheek and she gingerly wiped it away. It just felt right, being in the circle of his arms like this. And she felt safe. And she felt every cell in her body spring to life. And for a change, she felt alive. Her heart began to ache violently. “Mark, I— I …I’m gonna miss you.” He desperately wanted to tell her how he felt, but where does he start? Did she feel the same way towards him? He pulled back a little to meet her gaze and let himself drown into her light brown eyes, “Sam, I think— you know, we—you and I…” he couldn’t even string a complete sentence! Then he tried a different approach, “Sometimes, my life goes around in circles, and you know what I find each time I reach a full circle?” Samantha shook her head. “You,” he whispered, “I love you Samantha. I always have.” He felt her tense immediately and she broke away from him. Her mind stayed blank for awhile. Did she hear what she think she did? She searched his expression, but this very moment she didn’t have the will to gauge what he’s thinking. “Mark, if this is a joke,” she manage to choke out, “it’s a cruel one.” “I need you,” he said fiercely, “I was young back then. And stupid too. You were the best thing to happen to me and— and I turned it away.” His heart was pounding. He had nothing to lose. He finally said it, to the person who means more to him than life itself. He said brokenly, “God, Sam, I didn’t realize it until I looked back at my life and saw how empty it was. The only time it was fulfilling was whenever I shared it with you. I…I don’t deny that anymore.” She understood what he meant, life was had more meaning when she shared it with him. There was just one more thing: “Judith?” He frowned at the mention of her name. “You don’t know?” She just shook her head as she covered her lips, not even daring to breathe. “It was over for sometime.” Tears fell freely from her eyes. All this time, she was struggling just to stay afloat, but now she felt like a bird set free. No more obstacles, no more Judith. And he loved her. He loved her. And all this time she thought he didn’t care. “Are you crying or laughing?” he asked uncertainly. She tried to say something, but she was overwhelmed at the moment. He tried again, in case she decided to run off, “You are the part of me that makes me feel complete. I can’t believe it took me so long to realize that,” he reached out and grazed her cheek, “I love you.” If this was a dream then she didn’t want it to end. She heard the words, those magical words, that she thought she would never hear him utter. A sudden panic hit her, her heart was in pieces and was broken twice by the same man. “I was leaving— I thought—it was hard—you never cared,” she said incoherently, she can’t seem to stop crying. He saw it then, like a small spark in her eyes, she did love him. He realized something else, all he needed was to admit it to himself then he would have noticed. Love certainly makes fool of us all! His heart swelled, there was still hope. He sensed she was scared, he didn’t want to push her but… He pulled her close and danced slowly while he softly sang“ I
miss all the joy you gave by just a simple smile I miss all the sweet
caress, only you and I I miss you darlin’, I
miss you so dearly I’d give anything to
make you come back to me Girl,
please remember, I know you remember the love” She gave a small laugh. Remember? She couldn’t forget even if she wanted to. And she wanted them. Their love. All over again. She felt the dull ache in her heart slowly beginning to disappear. Smiling between her tears,” Do
you still remember how so tender we kissed in sweet November Baby
tell me that you remember and you want us back together How could ever we
forget, the day that we first met Baby do you remember
sweet November” “Say you want us.” he pleaded softly, “To start again.” “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for you to say that? I have always loved you too, Mark,” she laughed between her tears, “I love you.” Those words, when she said it, made his heart soar. Did she really say that? She loved him? And he was very close to tears, “Really?” “More than you’ll ever know,” she replied tenderly. There they were, in the streets, in the rain, swaying to the music they heard in their minds and oblivious to the rest of the world. Both were content as they were and never wanted the moment to end. He placed a soft kiss on her lips and slowly deepened it pouring all his heart and soul into it. Samantha gave her all into that kiss too…it was as if she could almost touch his soul… ~ ~ ~ Credits: Album:
KRU/The Way We Jam (EMI) CHAPTER 44 Samantha stepped out and admired her new car. BMW’s latest. It was sporty yet chic. She just took it for a test drive and was very satisfied with the car’s performance. Plus, the silver colour gave it elegance. She definitely liked it. She took the elevator up to her apartment. She checked her reflection in the side glass as she thought about the past few months. She left Ireland the other day, as much as she didn’t want to, but she left with a new hope. Besides, her organization had to check out if KL was a suitable location for expansion for the Asian region. After four month of researching, analyzing et cetera. KL was in fact a promising location. But Singapore proved to have better potential. Final word was Micah Productions to branch out to Singapore. But Samantha didn’t want to head this branch, so she passed the position to her most capable subordinate. And day before yesterday, she came back to England. Joshua accompanied her, he had a conference to attend here. Now that she’s back, it excited her. No wait, that wasn’t what excited her, it was the thought of seeing Mark again! She missed him badly. She shook her head in disbelief, she was beginning to act like a 16 year old! Although Mark flew down a few times, it wasn’t the same. When she had some free time back in KL, she checked the e-news archives. Then she knew why Mark was surprised when she mentioned Judith. It was practically impossible not to know about it. It was on nearly every publication. Judith is the music industry’s darling, it was either you loved her or hated her. She’s sweet, smart and beautiful. Though she can be difficult at times. Her flawless complexion, blonde hair and blue eyes made her look like Cinderella. And that Cinderella had a Prince Charming. Every tabloid, magazine and paper told a different story, but bottom line was, it wasn’t a ‘and they lived happily ever after’ ending. The elevator reached her floor and she made her way to her apartment. She decided to splash extra on her new place. It was worth it, spacious, better security, better facilities. Then she realized something. She was based in England. And Mark, Dublin. Some compromise was due, but she pushed it back her mind for the time being. “Here it is,” Samantha said as she handed Joshua a shopping bag. He unwrapped and stared at it, “The last time I saw one of these was…a very long time ago. Where did you manage to find a VCR?” Samantha shrugged, “Adrian. He collects these old stuff. You have to see his place, it’s like stepping back into time. His dining room is 16th century ambience, though most of the stuff is not original. One room had a retro theme. Another the 80’s. Only Adrian can manage to pull it off.” Samantha paused a moment and thought, “Fortunately, his kitchen is modern. I hope so is his restrooms.” “So, will that do?” Samantha asked. Chances are it wasn’t compliant with today’s system. Joshua hooked up the VCR to the TV, hi-fi and other electronic gadgets. “All right, let’s see if it works,” he said as he hit the switch. Samantha gritted her teeth hoping nothing short-circuited or worse, blew up. When the TV program came on, the VCR timer blinked and the rest of the gadgets on stand by mode, Samantha let out a sigh of relief. Samantha sat on the floor and began sorting through the contents from a box. Joshua motioned at the contents, “Do you want me to stay?” “Nah,” she replied, “I need to do this alone.” “Okay,” getting up, “I need to go pack. Bad timing all these conferences,” And he mumbled, “I miss my babies.” Samantha had to smile at that. That babies would include his new born daughter, Maya, Christopher and Madz. “Samantha picked a video tape and popped it into the VCR. And hit the play button. On the TV screen, it splashed: Rite of Matrimony. Thomas Micah and Dawne Smith. 12 December 1978. ~ ~ ~ It was evening when Samantha finished watching all eight videotapes. She glanced at a framed photograph of them when she was younger. She recalled the feeling of Daddy’s bear hug. It never failed to make her feel better. Her father went through a lot of trouble separating all her belongings from their lives. Maybe he did it for the sake of his sanity. Maybe in his own way, he thought it was for the best. And he never hated her, not only did she know that, she felt it too. When she was small, she found a small photograph of Mum in his Dad’s wallet. She took it, without her Dad’s knowledge. And later pretended that she didn’t know anything about it when he questioned her. At that time it meant the world to her and she wasn’t about to give it back. Now she had a feeling that her Dad knew it all along. The doorbell rang breaking into her thoughts. A smile crept to her face. Only one other person knew where she lived. Sure in enough, it was Mark at the door with a bunch of roses. “For the most beautiful women on earth,” he handed it to Samantha with a wide smile. Just seeing her again made him feel much better than he had in days. Before she could respond, he lifted her off the ground, twirled her around and placed a long passionate kiss on her lips before setting her down. “Someone must really miss me,” Samantha teased. “Dare I hope?” Mark asked as he surveyed his surroundings, boxes and crates that stacked haphazardly in the partly furnished living room. “Yeah,” she confirmed and added mischievously, “there’s this guy who convinced me to stay.” “Really?” he asked pleased and leaned in for another kiss. He can’t seem to get enough of it. He missed her. “Yep…Ya know, he’s good-hearted…funny…understanding” by now left a trail of kisses on her neck. “Go on,” he prodded when she stopped. “…and he can be very cheeky at times.” Mark smiled against her skin, “Sounds to me, he’s very special. You should never let him go.” Samantha turned him to face her and grinned, “I have no intention of letting him go.” Was it possible that his eyes were bluer today? She mentally shook her head, “In fact,” she patted his cheeks, “I’ll introduce you to him one day!” He chuckled in response. “What’s all that?” when his gaze fell to the items on the floor. “You have to see these,” she said as she sat at the same spot earlier. Mark sank down beside her. “This,” she picked up a photo album, “is my baby photos.” She rested against the curve of his neck as he looked through the album in a backward manner, “Aww…look at that,” as he pointed to a photo, “All those curls, makes you look so cute. Where did it go?” he asked as he tugged her hair. Samantha just shrugged. She enjoyed his presence as he went through the album. It provided her a lot of comfort knowing he was there. The very first page was Samantha as her infant with her mum. By the looks of it, it was probably taken in the hospital sometime after she was born. He tightened his arm around her, “Are you okay with all these? Do you want me to leave?” he asked quietly, “I’ll come by later if you want.” “No. Stay,” she replied, “it’s fine.” Then she added, “I have no memories of her, yet I feel like I lost something.” Mark was at loss for words. What should he say when he had no idea what she’s feeling? And touched, that she shared all these with him. Sensing it was his turn to say something, he said the first thing that came to mind, “Your mum will be proud of you.” “You think so?” She looked at him expectantly that it surprised him. Samantha was caring, strong, hard working, successful…he could make a long list of this. And above all she was her daughter. Why wouldn’t her mum be proud? “Yes,” he said firmly, “she’ll be very proud.” Samantha gave a small smile. “Are all these hers?” “Yes,” she replied, pointing to some items around them, “that’s some video tapes, that’s their wedding album, that’s the family album, that’s a few of her jewelry, this was her diary…stuff like that.” After a long spell of silence, Mark asked, “Why Ireland?” When Samantha gave him a confused look, he explained, “ Why move to Ireland in the first place? Why not elsewhere?” “It belongs to Joshua. The house was his when mum died, dad was his trustee. If my facts are right, mum inherited it, but I don’t know from who or when.” Samantha realized something else, her dad couldn’t completely ‘erase’ her off their lives. Samantha’s cell phone rang, interrupting their quiet evening. “Hi Uncle Leslie…When?…I’ll be there as soon as I can.” “Everything okay?” Mark asked when she hung up. “Ashley…” she relayed, a little stunned, then a gave a soft smile, “she just had her baby.”
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