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If You Love Something...> chapters 25-26
She looked around her office, it’s been a year and a half since she set up Micah Productions and she was happy of what her company achieved in a very short time. Most production companies takes up to eight years just to get acknowledged. The company gained reputation for the quality of dramas, documentary and children’s program it produced. After graduating, she went on to work for a television station, for six months. The job was okay, the pay was good, she was sent outstation most of the time, that was okay with her as she loved travelling. It was very hard going back to work after her father died. She suddenly saw everything in a different perspective. And when she went back to work, her personal objectives and the station’s clashed. She resigned the day after she went back. Micah Productions was born a week later. She started off with a staff of five. At the very beginning, when the company was struggling, and at the same time she was mourning and not to mention she was young and considered a foreigner plus the fact that she was a woman, she received more criticism than praise. Samantha wrote poems to help her keep going. When work became demanding, the poems got stashed away somewhere in her home. When she came across it again, a few months back, she realize it was good enough to be turned into a song. She decided to have a go at it. She produced for a few up coming bands and singers. It usually stayed in the Top 40 then dropped a few weeks later, which was not bad for her first try. Recently she had a chance to work with Michael Graham, she always respected and admired him as a songwriter, and he was kind enough to dispense some advice to her along the way. They kept in touch after the project was wrapped up. And so, the company also added music production to their list. She brought her attention to the present. Today, Kian was dropping by her office to pitch an idea to her, for a children’s program. Truthfully, she wasn’t happy about it. Kian was her friend. Personally, she would rather not do business with friends as emotions are involved. What if his idea was bad? ~ ~ ~ “So?” Kian asked expectantly at her. Samantha was astonished, Kian’s idea was actually good. And truthfully she was worried about Kian. Kian just lost his fiancée in an accident four months back. From what Shane told her, he took it very badly to the extent of not getting up from bed. Everyone was worried about him. Then one week later, he practically jumped out of the bed and dived into work. Keating wanted him to take a break, but he refused and even added a few more projects to his scheduler. Samantha knew what he was doing. She herself did the same thing when dad died. Kian was keeping himself busy so that he wouldn’t have time to think about her. He was avoiding the fact that he has to deal with it. For every moment he thinks of her, he’s going to push himself harder, punishing himself for something he has no control over. But this is one race Kian wouldn’t win. Her memory will corner him and when that happens, he would have a tough time dealing with it. He looked again at him, he had grown a little thin and he looked a little jaded. “Well, I’ll recruit a team, we’ll work out details with them and put it on paper. How does that sound?” she said getting up and extending her hand. ~ ~ ~ CHAPTER 26 The band was throwing a party for the completion of their third album. Kian offered his house in London as the venue. Everyone who was involved in it and a few close friends were there. Samantha, Ashley, Nicky, Wayne Hector and Ronan were busy chatting in the big living room. Samantha caught Shane picking out a rose from a vase at the corner of the room. This intrigued her immediately. Shane walked over to another corner of the room and passed it to someone. But Samantha couldn’t see who it was as Bryan was blocking her view. That person obviously liked the rose as he sat near her with a big smile on his face. Samantha signaled Bryan to shift a little and she saw Michala smelling the rose and giving Shane a peck on the cheek. For a moment she was stunned. “It was a shock for us too,” said Nicky who was beside her. As far as Samantha knew Shane and Michala, the band’s PR, couldn’t get along. They would squabble every time they meet. If they were in the same room at the same time, hell would break loose. “Since when?” Samantha managed to ask. “Four, five months back,” he replied. “How did this come about?” she still couldn’t believe what she saw. “Let me see,” said Nicky, thinking, “We were in Holland…no, Germany. We were at the hotel after some promotion and stuff and our room was somewhere up the twentieth floor or something. Somehow or other the both of them ended up in the same lift. Both of them, alone. And of all the days, the lift got stuck. As you can guess they started arguing and this time it turned violent. Mic punched him for something he said and he was knocked out. By the time we got them out, Shane came to, and they were two different persons from then onwards. They finally realized that they liked each other…Though we have no idea what actually happened in there, It was a drastic change. I mean first we had to keep them apart, now we can’t keep them apart.” Samantha was happy for him, she knew he had been looking for love for some time now. Well, now he found it, in a place he never expected. ~ ~ ~ Samantha needed a break. Boy, can those guys’ party! She made her way upstairs. She remembered the last time she was there, Kian invited the whole lot to see the place. It was big and spacious. Six bedrooms, four baths, a library, a pool at the back and a big, lovely garden. It was a mix between old and new. She reached the top of the stairs. If she remembered correctly, there was a balcony with an amazing view somewhere. She took a deep breath of the cool night’s air and admired the view. She was right, it was even more beautiful at night. She could watch the stars forever and never feel bored. “The party’s downstairs.” Samantha turned around to find Kian sitting on the floor with a bottle of beer in his hands. She knew Kian well enough to know it was his way of saying he wanted to be alone. “I’m sorry. I thought there was no one here,” she said as she made her way inside. Inside, she contemplated on keeping Kian company. Two weeks earlier, Kian collapsed from stress. He was overworked and his sugar level was low. Everyone wanted him to take a break, take a long vacation and come back refreshed. He ignored all advice and continued work the day after he was discharged from the hospital. Samantha hadn’t met anyone so stubborn. She turned to check on him. Kian’s head was in his hands and his shoulders were shaking. “Ya know, a wise friend of mine said, no one should cry alone,” said Sam, deciding to reach out to him. “I don’t cry,” he replied sternly and stared at her for a while then motioned her to sit beside him. He rested his head against the wall and asked “Will the pain ever go away?” “No,” she said truthfully, “If there’s something that can make it go away, I haven’t found it.” They both lost someone they loved. He was living with a loss, she, a regret. “Do you ever think about your dad?” he asked. “Every day,” she said, then after a pause, “not a single day passes without there being something reminding me of him.” “You handled it pretty well,” he commented. She gave a small laugh and shook her head, “No. I hid it pretty well. Frankly Ki, I was a mess. The only thing that kept me sane was my work,” after a pause, she added, “you shouldn’t avoid it you know, the truth has a nasty way of sneaking up on you.” “What makes you say I’m avoiding something?” he asked curiously. “Takes one to know one.” He gave out a very long and heavy sigh, “Are you still avoiding it?” he asked nonchalantly. “Nope,” she replied as she shook her head, “I couldn’t handle it and one fine day I crumbled under pressure…One fine morning, when my car wouldn’t start and that me snap. I was at my worst at that time…but slowly things looked better.” Silence hit them. “I miss her so bad, Sam,” he barely whispered, “I tried my best not to think about her. Not to feel…Do you know the number of times I woke up in the middle of the night, reaching out beside me, hoping against hope that she’s there?” he stopped and wiped the tear with the back of his hand, “Sometimes when I close my eyes, I could smell her scent, like she’s right there beside me, and when I open my eyes, it’s gone…into thin air. I miss her.” Samantha had no idea what to say, this was the first time she heard him talk about her since…since she left. As far as she knew, he refused to talk about her to anyone. All they knew was cold hard facts. Shane got a call from the hospital in the middle of the night. Shane and Ronan went to pick him up, there they found out that Kian and Bryannah went for a walk and she died in a hit and run. Samantha didn’t know her well, but she had met her a few occasions. “You know it’s just,” Kian continued, trying to find his words, “…it’s just so maddening…” “It’s just maddening because the world is still moving when yours stopped?” she filled in, “That it’s not fair? Because the people who don’t deserve it dies unfairly? That something so precious is wrenched away from you? That your life turned up side down?” “Yeah,” he said as he nodded. “Ki,” she said softly, “running away from it won’t do a world of good. Trust me on this, I know. Deal with it then let go.” He took in a deep breath and held it for as long as he could, “…to see her flying through the air when the car hit her…,” he shuddered. “Hey, at least they tracked down the guy,” she tried to console him. He just stared blankly at the dark night, “and it didn’t make any difference. She’s still dead.” “Be honest, you really didn’t expect that to bring her back?” Samantha said gently. “No, I expected it would make me feel better. But it didn’t,” he said as he rolled the bottle between his hands. After a moment he asked, “Do you know what happened? That night?” Samantha shook her head. “She wanted to walk in the rain, Sam. Walk in the rain.” Samantha began to panic when it dawned to her that he was finally going to talk about what happened that night, but she tried to keep her cool. “It was crazy idea, but I couldn’t say no to her…I have to admit, I even enjoyed it…she looked so happy when she spread out her arms and let the rain fall on her face…it was amazing how something so…so small can give her so much joy…She was the best thing that ever happened to me…If I could trade in everything I have right now, just to have her back…I’ll do it in an instant.” “Kian, there is nothing you could have done,” she tried convincing him. “Oh yes I can. I could have talked her out of walking that night…and I could have kept my big mouth shut,” he said flatly. “Excuse me?” Samantha was obviously confused. Kian took a few gulps of the beer and gave out a huge sigh, “We walked until we reached a café, it began to rain heavily by then…and I…I…” he took another deep breath, “and I dared her to run across the street, in that downpour. She did and when she was running back to me, the car…that car…Sam, she was singing Moments a few minutes before…” he broke down. Samantha didn’t know what to say, she just let him cry on her shoulder. “It was my fault. It was my fault.” Samantha turned to face him and gently shook him by the shoulders, “Kian, listen to me it was not your fault. The guy was talking on his cell and driving through a heavy rain. He didn’t see her coming Kian. It was not your fault…She wouldn’t have wanted you to blame yourself.” She got a reaction she totally unexpected, he laughed between the tears then said, “That’s exactly what she said.” Again he broke down. He lay his head on her lap and pulled his knees to his chest. She looked at him, curled up like a ball, for as long as she could remember, Kian was one tough guy, and now he was going through such intense pain, more than she could imagine. Samantha stroked his forehead and hummed a tune while he cried. If that gesture could soothe crying babies, it may calm him down too.
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