WestFiction- "If You Love Something" by Mary

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If You Love Something...> chapters 23-24

Mark watched her, sitting there, absentmindedly throwing pebbles into the water. Her back was to him. She was, after all, his friend. A true friend. They had shared a lot growing up together. They have done almost everything together, played together, fought together, got into mischief together, laughed together and even cried together. It’s time to mend a broken friendship.

“Ya know, no one should cry alone,” Mark said as he sat beside her.

“For heaven’s sake…,” she said placing her had over her chest and taking a deep breath.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said. He saw her tear streaked face, he knew she was going through hell. She loved her father, even if they didn’t get along well. “I’m sorry about your dad.” She just nodded. For a while both of them sat there silently. It was chilly but Samantha was oblivious of the fact. He remembered the time they had spent here, in this very place, not very long ago. They would lay there, watch the stars and tell each other their problems, theirs secrets, their dreams. They could talk, for hours about anything under the sun. Or even they would sit quietly and still fell they have had the best conversation.

“Sam,” he started, “I don’t claim to be a good friend to have, but if you need anything…”

“I know where to find you,” she finished his sentence. Again they sat there silently. Samantha took out an envelope from her coat and handed it to Mark. He looked at it, it had Samantha’s address in Birmingham on it and no stamps. He assumed it was meant to be sent to her, “You want me to read it?”

She nodded and said, “I found it on my father’s desk.”

Angel,

I hope when you receive this letter, you are well and doing fine. I know it’s unusual for me to send a letter just after I sent one yesterday. There is a reason for this letter, so I’ll get straight to the point. I know I haven’t been a good father to you. I knew you needed me when you were growing up but I pushed you away. I’m sorry for that. There is no excuse to shirk my responsibilities. I was wrong. I don’t hate you if that’s what you think. I love you so much you’ll never know.

You, angel and Joshua are the only reason my life is worth living. But I never made that known to you did I? So, where do I start? When you came back from KL, you were all grown up and I missed not being there. Seeing you come from the arrival gate, you reminded me of your mother, you looked just like her. I guess that scared me.

Your mum was the most wonderful person on earth. You look so much like her except for your straight hair. We met in Middlesex University. I was doing my third year there and she was an undergraduate there. When we started talking we found out we had so much in common with her. She was from KL too, in fact she lived two blocks away from me at that time and it was thousands of miles away from home that we met. I hung around England, to wait for your mum to finish her studies.

We went back to KL. Both of us found good jobs and when I was financially stable I proposed to her. We married and within a year, Joshua was born and three years later, you did. We were content. About the time you were one, your mum was given a chance to further her studies but she refused to leave all of us behind. Around that time, my organization wanted to send me to U.K. in half a years time. It felt like a blessing, the whole family could be together. I didn’t want her to miss this, I knew deep down she wanted to go too. I finally managed to convince her to go ahead and settle everything there and we would be with her in six months.

One week before we were to leave for U.K., I got a message from a hospital telling me your mum was in the hospital. I told the staff that there had to be a mistake because she was in England but I went anyway. She was in critical condition. I found out from the nurse that a lorry had collided with the taxi your mum was in. She managed to say a few words and I summed up that she came down to surprise us and accompany us there. She said she loves you both and to tell you that everyday. Her last words. Something I didn’t fulfil.

You were still a baby, angel, at that time, you cried all the time. It broke my heart. I didn’t know what to do. The only person who could calm you down was Joshua. It was hard on him, he was still a kid and it was hard on me too. For the next few years, it was miserable, I decided we should shift, I guess you remembered that. We moved here, to Ireland. It was hard, I know, but we got through it. Or so I thought. I never did talk about her at all, that’s my fault. Maybe when you come home next, we will. I have a lot of photographs and videos on her, that I have managed to hide from you and Joshua, we’ll watch it together if you and Joshua want to.

When you stepped out the arrival gate, for a split second I thought you were her, which was enough to cause my world to crumble. You even had some of her traits, which I admit spooked me at times, like taking a long, long walk when you are upset, your love for theater, she was a stage actress for awhile, your strong headedness and independence and even looked the same when you are angry. She always said one wouldn’t know until one tried. I guess it’s the same as the ‘Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained’ banner in your room. She went to University of Birmingham to continue her studies, which is why I didn’t want you to go. I was afraid I’ll lose you too. In a way I guess I did. And I’m very, very sorry.

I always came to all the festivals and plays you were involved in. I knew how much it meant to you. Your school sports, anything and everything to do with you or Joshua. You never knew that. I sat behind so you wouldn’t see me and I always left early. Angel, I clapped the hardest, when your team won the inter-school basketball championship. I cried the hardest, when you graduated, it was the proudest moment of my life. I remember the day you were born, early morning actually, you were so tiny and so pink and you woke up the whole hospital announcing your arrival. My baby, now a woman.

I am proud of you and I love you. That would never change. I know I don’t deserve it but give me a second chance.

Love,

Dad.

The letter was dated on the day Samantha’s father died. He folded it and handed back to her. It was the last thing he expected. Mark felt her pain.

“I never told you this or Joshua for that matter, when I got accepted, he refused to let me go. It was a dream come true for me. And I wasn’t about to let anything stop me from going. Every time I talked to him about it, we always ended up arguing. For the first time, in my life, I told him I hated him followed by a lot of cruel things. In the end he let me go… Everytime we came to contact, phone call, letters or when I came back, it has always been in a business-like tone. Polite conversation. Small talk. I never bothered making amends. Mark, I gave up hope,” she whispered as she turned away but before he saw a tear roll down her cheek, “All the things I said to him. I wish I could take it back. I never meant it”

“Sam, he loves you, he knows you didn’t mean it. Come here,” he said, hugging her. She tried not to cry, “It will be okay,” he said comforting her. Little by little she began to cry harder. “It really will be okay.”

“I am so sorry,” she kept repeating between tears. “I shouldn’t have gave up hope.” Mark wished he could do something to make the pain go away.

CHAPTER 24

“We are going to be late,” complained Rowen.

“Late for what?” Samantha asked Rowen beside her who was driving.

“Didn’t I tell you? My parents wants to give us a treat,” he said as he glanced at her, “you know, the engagement thing.”

“Well, a few minutes late won’t do anyone any harm,” replied Samantha, “Did we get everything your mum asked for?”

“I sure hope so,” Rowen said as he signaled for a right turning, “I never was any good doing grocery shopping for mum. I always got something or other mixed up.” Samantha and Rowen flew back to Sligo two days ago to inform his parents about their engagement. It was hard coming back to Sligo, after eight months, her house was just down the street, but so far she had managed. It had been eight painful months since she came back, it seemed like last month. Rowen has been very supportive.

“Yeah,” Samantha said wryly, “You are the only person I know who botches up groceries even with a list in your hand.”

“Hey!” he said pretending to be hurt.

“No wonder your mum was so adamant that I go with you!” she added slyly. He pulled up right in front of the house and set the hand break, “Remind me, never to let you to do our shopping,” she said as she shook head, “who knows what we will be eating! You know what, I take that back, I remembered reading something in the papers few weeks back, ALL men screws up the grocery shopping!”

“So I don’t know the difference between polyunsaturated margarine and…and…,” Samantha laughed as he tried to find his words while grabbing a grocery bag, “well normal margarine!”

“No one asked you to know the difference,” she said as she balanced a grocery bag and dug for the house keys in her jeans pocket, “Just buy whatever it is on the list and you’ll never go wrong. No one asked you to analyze them!” As the door shut behind them…

“Surprise!!” Samantha and Rowen dropped the shopping bags, on Rowen’s feet, “Ouch!!”

“What the—” muttered Rowen as he rubbed his toe. Close friends and Rowen’s family were around. It hit them, a party, an engagement party. The grocery shopping was just a ruse to get them out of the house.

“Congratulations,” said Ashley giving her a hug.

“What are you doing here?” was Samantha’s response.

“Can’t you guess?” she teased, then made way for them to come in. One by one they came forward congratulating Samantha and Rowen. And by the looks of people who were there, word traveled pretty fast.

Samantha went around chatting with friends she haven’t seen in a long time. She looked around, they have went into a lot of trouble to prepare this party, whoever ‘they’ were. Music was playing from the hi-fi, a wide variety of food spread on the table, glasses overflowing with wine. Everyone was chatting and laughing, catching up with old times.

Joshua came over and gave her a hug, “I’ve missed you bad.”

“Me too,” said Samantha, “Didn’t Madz come?”

“She did. She’s somewhere around,” he said as he scanned the crowd, “Let me go get her for you. Be back in a sec.” Madz, short for Madhu, is Joshua’s sweetheart. Samantha met her sometime back, and instantly liked her. She was sweet and has a captivating smile, and shy. Joshua met her at, of all places, the bookstore. They both wanted a book which only had one copy left. Being the gentleman he is, he let her have it. Then they met up again, a few days later, at a friends birthday party. And now the friend has two copies of the same book. It took Joshua five full months to summon his courage to ask her out. It was her shyness that Joshua didn’t know how to approach her without scaring her off.

And from Joshua’s re-account, he set up a group night out with the hope to get a moment alone in between and tell her how he felt. Well, he finally asked her out with much incoherent jabbering and stammering and she laughed at his face! The man’s ego was shattered. She went around to his place around midnight that night, turns out she had feelings for him the day she met him. The thing was, at that exact moment, when Joshua caught her alone, she was sweating her palms out to tell him how she felt. When he asked her out, she was so stunned that she couldn’t help but giggle. Apparently she never thought he would even consider her more that a friend. Joshua completely misunderstood her reaction. And they had been together since that day.

They looked perfect for each other. Samantha couldn’t remember any girl who permanently etched a smile on his face. And from the way Samantha hears him talk about her, maybe, just maybe she would turn out to be her future sister-in-law.

“Congrats,” said Mark, interrupting her thoughts.

“So it was your idea, huh?” Samantha asked after stepping out of his embrace.

“Well…” he looked guiltily, “sort of. It was mostly Ashley’s idea and Rowen did mention you guys were coming down to drop the bombshell, so we thought, why not do it here!”

“Bombshell?”

“My words not his,” he said laughingly, “I mean yeah…turns out you are one of the first to get hitched. So, when’s the big day?”

“We are talking about it, maybe in six months or so,” then she asked him, “Hey aren’t you supposed to be on tour again or something?”

“Planning to get rid of me?” he pretended to be hurt.

“Get rid of you?” she said in mock horror, “Banish the thought.”

“Bry and I ditched it for today. Not even if Lou tied us up, would stop us from coming,” Samantha laughed at the thought of Mark and Bryan hopping to the airport bound and gagged. She shook her head, her imagination ran off with her. “Enjoy your party, okay? I’ll catch you in a bit,” he kissed her on the cheek and left.

~ ~ ~

Mark observed the crowd, everyone was having a good time. Rowen was extremely happy apart from his sore toe. And so was Samantha who was laughing away with Lauren. They make a wonderful couple, Rowen and Samantha, that is. The day Rowen told him that he was going out with Samantha, it was at a soccer game. He told Mark during half-time. At first, he thought with all the noise around him, he heard it incorrectly, but the look on his face told him otherwise. That moment he didn’t know how to react, so he left the stadium. He drove around the town the rest of the night.

Truthfully it was the last thing he expected. Two of his closest friends dating each other, but then again, didn’t he do the same thing few years ago? He contemplated over it long and hard. Rowen was a great person, so was Samantha. If they both were happy together, who was he to ruin it for them? He went back to Rowen’s that night, apologized for taking off rudely and wished them the best of luck. He’s truly happy for them.

Mark sipped his drink, he wished Judith was around. She would have gotten a chance to meet his family and friends. But something came up the very last minute, so she couldn’t make it. A guy caught Mark’s attention. He was not from around Sligo, he was sure but he looked familiar. But no name came up to match the face.

“Hey Ash,” who was beside her, “who’s the bloke near the staircase?”

“That’s Luke, Samantha’s cousin,” she told him after glancing at the direction Mark referred to, “He’s a manager of a club in England,” Suddenly he remembered that he was the guy from the café. And also the cemetery, though at that time it didn’t register to him. “Ya, know, Sam was planning to hold your birthday party in his club. But that didn’t happen because…” her voice trailed off, then she amended, “Well it just didn’t happen. Ya know, that particular night it was reserved by someone else.” It didn’t happen because they broke off. It hit him like a ton of bricks.

Mark studied Samantha for a while. It was her cousin all along? He didn’t know any of her family except for Joshua. All he knew is that her extended family is scattered all around the world. Had she been planning a party for him with her cousin at the café that day? They did call it quits, a few months before his birthday. Now that he thought about it, it did make sense. The friendliness between them, as he saw now. Her shocked expression when he mentioned him. But then why didn’t she just tell him that it was her cousin? Then again, would that have done any good? At that point, it just wasn’t working out with them. Mark glanced at Rowen, who was watching him, he gave Mark a smile, Mark raised his drink at him, as to a toast. Then he thought about Judith. It wouldn’t have worked out with them anyway.

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