WestFiction- "In the Arms of an Angel" by Xtine

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In the Arms of an Angel> chapters 31

Anya stared at the phone nervously while chewing her fingernails. Pick it up or not? Oh what a dilemma. She stood up and started pacing back and forth, eyeing the phone contemptuously. “Ok,” she said to the entire living room. “I can do this. I can pick that phone up.” She shook her head, shoulders and hands. This was going to be tough.

“Hi, Michael. It's me Anya…”

Shane looked at his horse, Nalif, Jr., and then patted his nose gently. Horses give him a certain high and being surrounded by them makes him feel good. He grew up with them and treated them as friends. Nalif, Jr. neighed and Shane smiled. Ever since the day Gaby fainted, he hasn’t smiled genuinely. Fear was coursing through his system. He didn't know what to do, what to think, or what to expect. There were so many thoughts flying around his mind like, what will happen to Gaby? Or will Anya agree to go out with him on a date?

Shane stopped abruptly. Now where did that idea come from? Me? he asked himself. Ask Anya out? Like you have a chance, Filan! That girl is too smart for you. She practically hates your guts. The past few days he spent with Anya were one of the good times he's had. Despite the fear igniting inside them, they managed to have a good time together. They rarely talk, though. They would just sit down and share their heavy sighs and whimpers. Yet he never got bored, nor felt his time was being wasted. He loved every minute he spends with Anya and just seeing her, with her dark shoulder length hair and dark brown eyes with heavy lashes, makes his knees shake. For the past few days his mind was occupied by Gaby`s body lying on a hospital bed and Anya`s face, smell and smile. He felt electric sparks ignite in him as he thinks of her. God, she's so perfect for me, he thought wistfully.

“Go for it, Shane. You'll never know,” Gaby`s voice echoed in his brains. That was what she said when he wanted to tell her how strongly he felt for her. The voices in his head became louder, clearer and haunting that he had to shake his head several times. “Have some balls, Shane!” he scolded himself. “This might be your chance…your one way ticket to true love.”

With that resolution in mind, Shane sauntered off to the stables, with Nalif, Jr. on his side.

Anya stepped out of the bathtub, and wiped the foggy mirror with her hands. She had spent a good hour long soaking in strawberry bubble bath to shake away the anxiety filling her, plus the guilt nagging her conscience. She stared at her face, then her naked reflection. Not bad, she giggled, running her hands through the swells of her chest and the flat planes of her stomach. She pouted her lips and piled her dark, wet mane atop her head, studying the graceful lines of her face. Then she thought of Shane. Her eyes darkened with ire. She wanted him so bad, for lust, for love, or for whatever reason. She can't quite pin point it but she wanted him. “Too bad he doesn't want you,” she muttered angrily. She went on staring at herself, concentrating on seeing what she’d look like with Shane in her arms.

Her daydreaming was cut short when she heard the doorbell rang. “Oh crap,” she cried, jerking the towel sitting by the sink and wrapping it around her svelte figure. It must be Gaby, she thought. She went down the stairs hurriedly, hoping her cousin wasn't mad for waiting for awhile.

“Hi, sorry you had to wait,” she said breathlessly, holding the door with her right hand.

“Erm, hi Anya,” Shane greeted hesitantly, his eyes slowly traveling her entire body up and down and then up again.

“Shane!” she blurted abruptly, her eyes widening in shock, her hands flying to her face to cover her embarrassment. She was paralyzed and her brain stopped working. She couldn't move her hands away from her face and she couldn't kick the door close.

Suddenly she felt cold breeze all over her, the hairs on her body standing on its tips. “Shit!” she cried, realizing that the towel has slipped off from her body. Oh god, please, let the floors open and swallow me now, she thought tearfully, as she kicked the door.

“Let me in, Anya,” Shane called, pounding on the heavy oak door.

“Go away! I don't want to see you again!” she cried, leaning her back on the door. How could this possibly happen? she asked herself.

Shane went on pounding the door. “Please. I came here for a reason.”

“I don't give a damn! I have embarrassed myself so much now. Now go away!” she stamped her foot for effect, even if Shane can't very well see the gesture.

“Come on! Let me in. I came to see you,” he reasoned out, leaning his forehead on the door.

“You saw me already! You even saw what you weren’t supposed to see! Now go away! Fuck off!” she cried exasperatedly.

“Anya, please. I have to tell you something.” He begged and begged.

“I don't want to see you! Can't you understand that?” she screamed, clutching the towel close to her body. “Go away. Go away,” she chanted.

Shane leaned his head and gently pounded his head on the door. He went to a lotus position and waited by the door. “I`ll just be here when you decide to come out.”

Half an hour later, Anya crept out of her room dressed in a sweatshirt and cut-offs, her hair piled up on top of her hair, several wisps framing her oval face. She was quite over the fact that Shane saw her body in all of its glorious nakedness. It's not like it's the first time somebody saw her naked so why should she get all worked up, right?

She pinched her cheeks to help her snap out of it. I should go for a walk, she thought. Maybe that would take my mind off of Shane and the embarrassing ordeal awhile back.

Shane fell on her feet upon opening the wooden door, causing her to jump in surprise. “Shane!”

“OUCH!” he yelped, rubbing his head, opening one eye. “What was that for?”

She crouched to where he was, helping him rub his head, looking for a bump. “Nothing. I didn't know you were here. I was just about to leave and take a walk. What the hell are you doing infront of my door anyway?” she inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“I told you I`d wait here, in case you decide to talk to me,” he explained, rising to his feet and dusting off his charcoal gray pants. He pulled Anya and when he did, he caught a whiff of her sweet scent. He stared at the long column of her neck, paying particular attention to her jugulars and how he wanted to kiss her there and leave love bites.

“You're staring,” she pointed out crossly, crossing her arms infront of her chest.

“Old habits die hard,” he explained. Anya stared at him blankly. “I mean, I always stare at girls and I don't give a damn if they can see me staring. I can't help myself.”

She nodded. “Ah, I see. So,” she paused, pulling the door close behind her, “what was it that you came here for that is very urgent?”

Shane placed his hands in his pockets, digging deeper. Suddenly his courage went plummeting down the drain. He couldn't move his mouth to utter a sensible syllable. I can't do it, he thought angrily, mentally punching his face for being a poof! “Erm,” he began, clearing his throat and rolling his head. “I forgot about it. Yeah, actually, I don't remember why I even came,” he fibbed, biting his lower lip.

Anya`s heart sank, her spirit totally dampened by what he said. He doesn't even know why he went to my house. What do I have to do to get through to you, dumb ass? Will knocking you with a bowling ball suffice? Or, will smashing your face in the dashboard of your lovely BMW do the trick? she thought angrily, gritting her teeth. She was so damned frustrated of not getting through to him, of loving him and not getting the feeling back. “Then why don't you go home and wash your car or stare in the mirror to fix yourself up?” she suggested sarcastically, her voice tinged with anger.

“Anya,” he sighed dejectedly, catching the sarcasm and anger in her voice. “Ok, I lied. I have something important to tell you but somehow I can't. I just can't say them.” He looked down at his shiny black loafers and then gazed up to meet her chocolate brown eyes, begging her to believe what he was saying.

“Then leave. I'm not forcing you to say whatever it is you want to say!” she picked up her pace and walked with quicker, wider strides.

He tried to catch up with her, matching her strides. “This is so hard, An!” he puffed, bending forward, his hands on his crouched knees.

“Hard?” she repeated mockingly. “You want to know hard, Shane Filan? Hard is when someone you love doesn't love you back! Hard is spending time with the person who means the world to you, walking in a quiet street, and knowing that all he wants is to be your friend! Hard is when you know that the one you love wants to be with someone else! You don't know what hard means!”

He looked at her in disbelief. The cool, calm and composed Anya he knew was gone. There she was, her nose flaring, her cheeks a fiery red, her fists clenched tightly, and she has never looked more beautiful than that moment. He wanted to grab her and just lose himself in her intoxicating smell. “I do know about those things,” he said quietly.

“No you don't!” she insisted angrily, stamping her foot. “You don't know how it feels like mooning over someone you love so much. You don't know anything about that!”

“I do,” he persisted, staring at her squarely in the eye.

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Stop saying you do! Because you don't know anything! You don't know how painful it is for me to see you everyday and know that what we have will never move on to the next level! It hurts me so much when you treat me like I'm some chopped liver, like I'm some piece of shit that you can just walk on by without so much as a glance! I am tired of loving you and not being loved back! I am so tired of this bullshit!” She turned her back and ran as fast as she could as she ignored Shane's distant voice calling her name.

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