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In the Arms of an Angel> chapters 23-24
Mark started to walk away. He saw Shane and Gaby share a kiss. He wanted to scream right then and there. He wanted to punch Shane for his treachery. He wanted to scream at Gaby and tell her how hurt he is. But he didn't. He turned his back and walked away. It would be so much easier if he’d shut up and shrug it off. But
it wasn't. Shrugging it off as if it didn't matter to him was insane.
Because it mattered. He cares a lot about her. He wanted her to be his
girlfriend. I thought we had a
chance. I thought she liked me too, he thought miserably. Now she's Shane's girlfriend and there's nothing I can do but watch them
in misery. He kicked the pebble on the ground as hard as he could,
wishing he could kick Shane’s ass that strong. But why should I do that to him? He doesn't even know I'm interested in
her. Hell, nobody knows how I feel about her but me! “Argh!” he screamed out of frustration, yanking his cap off and throwing it on the pavement. People stopped and stared at him weirdly. “Move along, all right!” he screamed getting vexed that he was being observed as if he was a specimen under a microscope. He picked up his cap and hustled along. His feet brought him to Hazelwoods. He
started walking down to the path where his mates, the Beavers, used to
cook sausages and sing their hearts out in front of the bonfires. He
sighed. Maybe one of these days
Rowen and I can do that. I wish Avril were here. She could beat some sense
into me. But no, she’s in a London university. I miss her loads. She'll
probably hit it off with Gaby. That
name again. Gaby. Gaby. Gaby. Can't I just stop thinking about her? He ended up sitting on the stump Gaby sat on a couple of days ago. He remembered how bright Gaby`s face would light up at the mention of Hazelwoods and how contented she seemed sitting on the stump he’s sitting on. Gaby loved Hazelwoods so much, probably more than he does. She’s got a reason. The place was a magical forest that transports people in a fantasy world, or maybe not. It was just so peaceful and serene and offers a temporary shelter from the madness of the real world. And right now, he wanted to escape the real world. He puffed his chest several times, trying to ease the throbbing lump in his throat that was almost choking him. He couldn’t shake off the biting feeling in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to run away from the madness of his lifestyle, to hide from the ugly rumors being thrown at him almost every week, to escape the raw passion stirring inside the very core of his soul. Most of all, he wanted Gaby. Gaby. And Gaby. And more Gaby. He shifted his weight and stretched his feet, flexing them. He looked up and saw how cloudy it was. The clouds were painted in beautiful disarray with the azure sky as the background. He bit his lower lip, furrowed his brows and fixed his gaze on a probable cloud formation. And then he saw one. A hazy formation of a girl wrapped in an ardent kiss with her lover appeared above him, with fat cotton clouds surrounding them in a huge circle. At that very instant, his mind flashed before him an image of him and Gaby---during their idle afternoon not long ago in that very same spot---kissing passionately, two mouths meshed into one, two bodies slapped together in a sensuous position and two hearts beating rapidly. He remembered a lot of giggling and tickling and rolling about. He remembered being on top of her and vice versa. He remembered feeling elated and madly contented being with her, looking into her dark eyes. He remembered lips, tongues, saliva and breaths mingling. He remembered sleeping on her chest, his head falling up and down in synch with her every breath. He remembered every little detail. Most of all, he remembered falling in love with her. CHAPTER
24 Anya opened the door and saw Shane smiling with flowers on his hands. Her heart dropped. It wasn't for her, she knew. “Hi Shane,” she greeted politely. “You can at least pretend that you're happy to see me, Anya,” he joked, chucking her under the chin like a little kid. He thrusted the bouquet of fresh peach roses he was holding on his left hand to her. “They’re for you,” he said as he stepped inside. “For me?” she asked in bewilderment. He nodded, looking nonchalant. “Yup. I thought of you when I saw them in the flower shop.” She smiled, her insides jumping with joy. She padded to the kitchen to look for a vase. “So what brings you here?” “Gaby called me and asked me if I could accompany her elsewhere. She wouldn’t tell me though,” he narrated, situating himself on the soft couch. “Why
not ask me?” she asked, sitting beside Shane after returning from the
kitchen. Her thigh was touching his and she felt small electric currents
travel her entire body. Shane’s left arm was draped around the couch.
She looked at it slyly and it was almost in contact with her shoulder! She
wanted to jump with joy and shriek with delight! He's making moves on me, she thought merrily. She looked at Shane
and felt dismayed at what she saw. He was staring in space! His mouth was
a bit open and his head was tilted at the right. How
pathetic can you get! She scolded herself. Just because his hand is almost draped around your shoulder doesn't mean
he likes you! Get a grip! She
stood up and turned away. She didn't need this feeling. There are other
guys. So maybe she hasn’t been lucky in the past few weeks. But she
knows she still hasn’t lost her charm. One
of these days, I'll show you, Shane. Someone out there actually thinks I'm
hot! Someone will ask me out and I swear I'll make you sorry you never
asked me out! Shane has been driving his BMW for almost half an hour whilst Gaby was sitting on the passenger seat, staring ahead and occasionally biting her nails. He still has no clue where they were off to. “Gaby, you have to tell me where we're going. We can't just go round and round.” She looked at him. In the past few days she’s lost weight, her eyes have sunk a little and her cheekbones were more visible. She looked more tired than ever. “Take me to Sligo General Hospital, Shaney,” she said at last, her voice dropping to a hoarse whisper. He hit the breaks instantly, causing them to lurch forward a little. “Are you getting sick again?” he asked worriedly. She looked away. “No.” YES! her mind screamed. Her headaches have become more persistent. She almost collapsed twice. She's been nauseating every morning, beating a pregnant woman to it. The other night, she couldn't move her arm. It was as if she couldn’t will her brain to move it. She needed to see a doctor to ask her condition. She needed to actually hear the words from a professional that she’s really dying. “Don’t lie to me, Gaby. Please,” Shane pleaded. “Look at me,” he commanded, taking her left hand into his. “Gaby, you can trust me. Whatever it is, just tell me.” “Shane,” she cried, flinging herself to his body. “I think I'm getting sicker and sicker. I've been getting persistent headaches in the morning and I've almost collapsed but I've fought it.” He hugged her tightly. “Don't you have any medicines? Like steroids or some painkillers to make the pain go away? To make you feel better?” “I have some pills for my headaches and I carry them around. As for steroids, I've stopped taking those damned pills a couple of months ago. I don't want to take them, even if they're supposed to ease the pain. The side effects are just too much and they don't make me feel any better!” “But you have to take them. It will help you!” he insisted. “Yeah,” she snorted. “It will help me die little by little!” “Gaby, stop it. You have to drink those medications.” She slumped on her seat. “Just take me to the doctor, Shane. They’ll know what to do.” Shane sighed and looked far ahead. The weather was dreary---the clouds were tinted with dark gray and the breeze was slightly cold. He revved up the engine and drove away, heading for the hospital.
He sat patiently and worriedly at the waiting area. He could see sad faces, medical people dressed in white robe and masks, white stockings, stretchers and dextrose. He hated the smell of the hospital. It stank of hopelessness—that dreary emotion that eats a person’s life little by little. He watched the clock by the nurse’s station. Gaby has been inside the doctor’s room for the past half an hour. What could possibly be taking so long? he wondered worriedly. Gaby stepped out of the room slowly, her head bent down. “Gaby,” Shane spoke, taking her hand and leading her outside the hospital. “What did they tell you?” “What the doctors back home told me: I'm going to die. The tumors, located in the left parietal lobe, grew back to pre-surgery size. Dr. Barrette told me I should undergo another surgery to see if the tumors have gotten worse. And then I should undergo radiation and chemotherapy to prolong my life. But, there’s no guarantee that the surgery or the whole process will be successful. However, If I don't, I`d die quicker. It all boils down to one thing, Shane: I`d still die.” Shane didn't know what to say. All thoughts escaped him. What do you say to your friend who was dying? “What else did they say? What did Doctor Shawna Barrette, say?” he inquired, clicking his key to unlock the doors of his car when they reached the parking lot. “She said she can recommend me to Dr. Michala Tondering who’s worked on brain tumors for a long time now. She's one of the best neurosurgeons in Ireland and she can help me. Or so she says. I mean, come on, I went to one of the most expensive hospitals in the Philippines to get cured but what happened? It recurred! Geez,” she snorted, her nose flaring, cheeks burning with color. “We spent hundreds of thousands on all those hospital check-ups, chemo, radiation and all for nothing!” “It wasn't for nothing,” he butted in, starting the car. “You’re still here, with me, with Anya, with Mark, with your family!”
She ignored him and
contemplated on what she found out. It recurred. And it might be worse
than ever! How wonderful. What
fantastic news, she thought sarcastically. I
might as well celebrate! Yippee! “Do it, Gaby” he half-commanded, half-begged in a husky voice. “Do what the doctors are saying. Put your trust in them.” She snorted, looking at him weirdly. “Like hell I would! Do you know how painful it is to undergo that? I have entrusted my whole life to my doctors eight months ago and look where I am again! It’s not just about having your skull cut open, Shane. There’s more to it.” “Then what is it?” Shane challenged. He had to convince Gaby to undergo chemotherapy again. He wanted her well; he wanted to see her live. She sighed, feeling tired and sleepy. “I don't want anymore false hopes. They kill me faster than the astrocytomas can kill me! Because it's painful! It hurts to have hope and then lose it again. It grieves me so much to be given false hopes and end up with nothing. After the treatment, I`ll be hairless, drugged out of my mind and then they’ll tell me I can't make it! No way, Shane!! I've been there before. I had chemo, I have swallowed a thousand pills and I had surgery! But did any of those helped? So, yeah, they were able to take some but the tumors are at it again, attacking my brain relentlessly! And I have a huge ugly black scar on my head to remind me of the failed operation!” she cried, pounding her head hysterically, angry tears falling down her face. Shane reached out and took her in his arms, hugging her tightly. Tears were slowly cascading down his lovely face. His heart was aching. He couldn't do anything. Gaby`s tears were seeping through the fabric of his maroon cotton shirt already. Her breath came in short bursts as her body trembled. He was so scared she’d have a seizure and lose it. Several minutes later, both of them have calmed down. Gaby`s sobs became subdued and every so often, Shane could hear her whimper. She turned slightly to face him whilst he drives. She took his hand and rubbed it. “Shane, promise me you won't tell Anya what you know. Oh and Mark. He doesn't know anything about my condition. Don't tell him.” “Why not?” he queried, his raising brows. “Because I don't want you to.” He didn't get it. Why hide it to Anya? To Mark? “How come you never told Mark about it?” “Because it never came up, really,” she replied, getting tired of the question and answer conversation they were having. “It never came up? You have to be kidding me!” “What do you want me to do? Think about dying 24/7? God,” she raked her hands through her hair, pulling them out a bit. “Stop bugging me! Take me home now. Please.” He heeded her advice and drove back home in utter silence. Gaby stared outside entire trip while he focused on driving, gripping on the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. “Listen, Shane,” she started, as she was about to get off. “I can't tell Mark about my ailment because for some crazy reason, I know it would hurt him. The less he knows about me, the less I will hurt him. You have to settle with that reason.” He nodded. He was too knackered to fight back. He wanted to go home, take a shower and wash away all the fears building inside him. “Goodnight, Gaby. I’ll see you later.” He leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Bye,” she muttered, watching Shane drive off. As soon as he was gone, her shoulders started to violently shake and she began to cry silently again. The brave little girl she knew was starting to fade away, painfully slowly starting to die. Fear was gnawing at her heart, working its way to her whole body and soul. The doctor told her that she must get treated. It doesn't guarantee anything but it will help her prolong her life even for just a tiny bit more. But for how long? How long must she go on with the tiring treatments that weaken he spirit? She looked up at the skies. The sun was now hidden and the moon has slowly begun to radiate. Heavenly bodies have started to twinkle and shower light. Out of the millions of stellar bodies, one shone the brightest. “Please,” she whispered, wiping the tears from her eyes. Please what? She asked herself. Somehow she didn't know what to ask or say. “Please don't let me die. Enlighten my mind. Please lead me to the right path.” With that she turned away and walked inside the house.
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