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Crash and Burn> chapters 11-13
-
Oh Dorothy! Please, just STOP moaning!- I shouted, getting a little upset.
-
I just don’t understand why did you take me with you?- she asked like a
little child that was forced to do something that he or she doesn’t like
at all. -
I thought you liked shopping?- I asked innocently, looking around. -
Oh, how funny...!- Dorothy pulled a face and glanced evilly at me. - You
just dragged me here ‘cause you thought I’ll make friends with...
with...- she struggled for a
word that would match her attitude towards Agata, but I stopped her in
time. -
...Agata- I finished and looked around again, finally noticing the person
we were talking about. -
Hey there!- I exclaimed and hugged Agata. She smiled at me but her face
fell as she saw Dorothy standing right behind me, with her arms crossed on
her chest and shooting my friend a look that could kill. -
Kate... is this your another attempt to make friends out of me and...
and...- she frowned. -
...Dorothy- I stated impatiently. - What’s wrong with that? I thought
you wanted me to..? I
asked, puzzled. -
Well, not anymore!- Agata answered Dorothy’s looks in exactly the same
way. - She’s too damn stubborn and I can’t stand her attitude. That
little...- she hissed and I got alarmed again. -
Just stop it!- I shouted and turned around to face both girls. - Both of
you! Won’t you just TRY to make it work? It’d be easier for all of
us!- I was pleading this time, but it still wouldn’t work. -
No- they both said in unison (something unusual let me add) and turned
their backs at each other. That
was getting out of hand and *I*
was getting sick of it... Half
an hour later I managed to literally drag Dorothy AND Agata into a clothes
shop. It was a good idea as it made them search passionately for some
clothes and stop this fight of evil looks, at least for now. I
sighed with relief and watched both of them. It got me thinking about the
last three weeks. After
Westlife left, I tried to get on with my life as usual, but sometimes I
just caught myself thinking about Mark. It seemed so unreal... Mark I had
met was so much different to Mark from Westlife. The first one actually
had a personality, the second one was a huge pop star, flashing smiles
around, posing for photographs, living in fancy hotels and performing in
front of thousands of people. That wasn’t the Mark I knew and I always
felt awkward seeing him on TV. For
the first few days after Westlife’s departure, I was constantly
wondering if he would call me like he had said. I was telling myself it
wouldn’t happen, but on the other hand, the way he had asked me at the
airport if we could stay in touch somehow made me believe that I’d hear
from him again. I
was speechless for a few seconds when he called me a week later. To be
honest, I had already lost hope but hearing his voice made me almost choke
with happiness. -
Hey there Katie- he said softly and I just melted inside. -
Mark... hey- was all I managed to say. I was acting so pathetic! -
Are you surprised that I called you? I promised I would, didn’t I?- He
laughed. -
Yeah, sorry Mark. Let’s start again: how are you? - I finally got my
voice back and smiled to myself. -
I’m great, how are you? -
Fine, fine. You better tell me what kept you so long from calling me?- I
laughed, acting offended. -
Now, that’s more like it!- he laughed as well - Did you miss me, Kate?-
he asked in a low, sexy voice. -
Aw, you charmer!- I exclaimed, laughing. - Of course I did! Now tell me
what’s up?? You seem so happy..!- Oh, how smart of me, I knew where it
was heading to. And I wasn’t wrong after all... -
I AM happy and I basically owe it to you!- he was cheering like no
tomorrow, I could hear it in his voice. - I’m back with Rachel!- he
blurted out. -
That’s SO great!- I cried, hating myself for lying to him like that. It
WASN’T great. In fact, it was CRAP. I felt like throwing my phone across
the room. Of course, I stayed cold-blooded. As always. -
Isn’t it?!- his voice changed to this excited, kiddy tone and I felt
sick. He started telling me how they talked for a couple of hours and how
he managed to convince her that they could work it out. -
You see, I was always good at giving advice!- I said cheerfully, hating
myself for every single word I said, ‘cause I simply didn’t mean it. -
I’m so happy for you two! Another
lie. How rude. -
Thank you, Katie. You’re a star.- He said sincerely and I suddenly
regretted being so egoistic. He
deserved to be happy after all. -
Kaaaaaaaate!! You’re daydreaming again!- someone shook my shoulder,
making me snap out of my thoughts. It was Dorothy. -
Am I? Oh sorry- I smiled weakly. - Did you find something nice? -
I did!- she jumped for joy, showing me a lovely, blue top. -
Hey, look what I’ve found!- I suddenly heard Agata screaming from the
other corner of the shop, holding exactly the same top that Dorothy was so
proud of. The minute they both noticed what happened was the moment I saw
fire in their eyes... I
had to laugh seeing their expressions: they were so mad, they almost threw
themselves at each other. Why couldn’t they just see the funny side of
it all? Needless
to say, no one owned a lovely, blue top at the end of the day... -----------------------------------------------------------
After
the first call from Mark, our phone chats became a habit. I couldn’t say
how they helped me when I was depressed or when something was going wrong-
Mark always knew how to make me forget about it and just giggle to my
phone, like nothing bad happened. I
was surprised how easy it was for me to just confide in him and I think he
felt exactly the same way, ‘cause after a few weeks we talked about
everything. EVERYTHING. -
Last night with Rae was just amazing, Kate- he sighed. - First we just
lied on the bed, hugging each other tightly and then we started kissing, I
took off her top... -
OKAY, I get it Mark!- I laughed uneasily. Knowing he trusted me so much
was great, but there were times when I drew a line... Not
all of our talks were so nice and careless. He knew I was always there for
him, so one day I had to prove it. I
was watching TV, spread all over my sofa, when my mobile rang. It
displayed Mark’s number. -
Hey Marky!- I exclaimed, waiting for his cheerful answer to come. Instead
I had to listen very carefully to actually hear his whisper. -
Kate... everything’s wrong- he said with a tearful voice. I
sat up straight on the sofa. - What happened Mark? Please tell me...- I
said slowly and seriously. -
First it was Rae...- he started but I could already tell what was wrong -
she just broke up with me, giving me these ridiculous reasons. And now
this...- God, there was more. -
Kate, my grandfather died this morning. I didn’t do anything to deserve
this!!- he was now shouting with anger. God, how I felt sorry for him! -
I know, Mark. Just let it out and it will be okay. I promise. - My voice
broke. He
was sobbing for a couple of minutes, sometimes swearing angrily, but I
just waited there listening to him. My heart was breaking, I never thought
I could feel somebody’s pain so well. When
he stopped crying and got all the anger out of him, he surprised me once
more. -
Kate, I really need you now. Please come to see me- he pleaded, his voice
breaking on every word. -
Mark, I’m not sure I can...- he didn’t let me finish, even if I
didn’t know what I wanted to say. -
You know you’re my best friend... You have to be here with me. Please. Best
friend... Gosh, how could I say ‘no’?
Chapter
12
-
Ouch!- I shouted and turned around to face a very happy Dorothy. She was
jumping up and down on her seat and kicking mine in effect. -
Guess what Kate!- she looked at me with a sparkle in her eye and a huge
smile. I knew what was coming next. She was starting this ‘dialogue’
every 5 minutes. But it still made me laugh, seeing her glowing with
happiness so I answered her, as usual. -
What Dorothy? -
I’m going to see BRYAAAAAN!- she shouted out loud, making all the
passengers on the plane look in our direction. -
Big baby!- Agata shook her head and pushed ‘play’ on her walkman.
Dorothy stuck her tongue out at Agata, but fortunately she didn’t notice
it. I
was kinda getting used to it, so I didn’t bother saying anything. I
guess that was just the way it should be: these two would never get along.
Or so I thought. It
didn’t take the three of us much time to decide if we should go to
Cologne, Germany to meet the boys. Dorothy didn’t care much about her
exams, which were taking place exactly on the day we were supposed to meet
Westlife again. She said she could take them „some other time”. Agata
was nearly dying for the last three months to see Kian, so she was the
first to pack her bags and show at the airport, ready to go. As
to me, it didn’t really matter that I just started my studies at the
university and had to be present at every lecture, at least at the
beginning. It wasn’t even for the both girls, who would literally kill
me if I refused, I
had to be there for Mark. I would lie if I said I didn’t want to go to
Germany myself, ‘cause I did. Even more than anyone could imagine. But
the fact that he relied on me in such important moments of his life, made
me more than sure that I had to go there, even if it wasn't the best time
for me to leave. At
the end the three of us have just bought the plane tickets and went to
Cologne a week after Mark’s phone call. All of us were excited but
Dorothy seemed to annoy every single person on the plane. Sometimes Agata
and I felt like two baby sitters..! ----------------------------------------------------------------
-
Sir! Can you PLEASE go FASTER?!- Dorothy moved in her seat impatiently and
poked the cab driver in the arm. -
Miss, can YOU please sit down and calm down?!- the driver shot Dorothy a
look that could kill and continued looking at the road, mumbling something
angrily under his breath. No
wonder- Dorothy was getting more and more annoying with every minute. She
couldn’t sit still for more than a few seconds and she continuously
yelled at the driver to speed up. Finally Agata got angry with Dorothy too
and started shouting at her to shut up. It turned into a huge fight, as
both girls started to yell at each other and the driver tried to calm them
down. Finally, I couldn’t help but laugh, ‘cause it turned into a
comedy happening right before my eyes. Ten
minutes later we arrived in front of the Hyatt hotel. Suddenly, as the
engine stopped, it all turned quiet. No one spoke. The girls stopped
fighting, slowly realising the fact that we were in the right place. Even
Dorothy dropped the idea of pulling Agata’s hair... I could tell they
were a little nervous about meeting the guys again- I was, without a
doubt. No one could explain why exactly, but for sure all of us had lumps
in our throats. Looking
out the window we saw lots of fans in front of the building, obviously
waiting for the boys to come out. Dorothy and me felt a little awkward-
for the first time we were going to be at the right place, inside the
hotel and not in front of it. -
Shall we go in? - I asked the girls, smiling slightly and trying to hide
my nervousness. Dorothy cleared her throat, still keeping her eyes on the
imposing building and peering from time to time at the group of fans. -
Yea, we should..- she answered so quietly I could barely hear her. -
Move out of my way!- Agata pushed Dorothy, who was looking out the window
on Agata’s side and opened the door. While
she was taking her bags out of the trunk, we finally managed to get out
and hand the driver the money. He drove away, but we still stood there,
between our bags spread across the sidewalk, staring at the building and
at the fans. They showed us a little interest while we walked into the
lobby. I still felt funny: I
should be standing there, not checking in at this fancy hotel... Out
of the three of us, only Agata was capable to think straight at the
moment. She walked up to the clerk and tried to ask where we could find
either one of the guys, but the man seemed as if he was asked this one for
at least a thousand times already so he basically refused to help us.
Meanwhile, I looked around the hotel. Maybe it sounds weird, but I never
liked places like that: fancy, beautiful, making you feel little and lost.
But this time I hardly experienced that feeling... glancing around my eyes
met a pair of beautiful blue eyes, half hidden under a cap, but still
intensively staring back at me. I couldn’t be wrong, this smile only
made it easier to recognise the face. I
put down my bags and slowly walked up to him on my shaky legs, still
keeping the eye contact. Without saying a word I threw myself into his
stretched arms and we stayed like that for a few minutes that felt
heavenly. We
finally pulled away but still held each other, staring one another in the
eye and smiling with silly, happy smiles, not really finding the suitable
words to say. Instead, I just examined his face closely, noticing he still
had red eyes and dark bags under them. He looked miserable. You could see
he was crying his eyes out very often lately and that he didn’t get much
sleep either. I was speechless, I never felt so sorry for anyone before. I
just tried to give him a reassuring smile. For now it was all I could do.
I didn’t feel better then he did, ‘cause my heart was breaking seeing
him like this. I
felt like kissing him right there and then, to comfort him and to let him
know that everything’s gonna be alright, that I’m gonna be right there
whenever he needs me... Instead,
I just tightened my grip around him. It was more then hard to stop myself
from telling him all the things I wanted to, but the worst thing was, it
ached almost physically to contain myself from kissing and hugging him the
way I could only dream of. -What
an interesting conversation you have here!- Agata made me snap back to the
reality. Trying to smile seemed impossible at the moment so I just stared
at the ground while she was hugging Mark and saying the usual ‘I’m so
sorry, Mark’ together with Dorothy. I
kept on watching him as he nodded again and again, not even saying a word
but trying hard to smile and act like everything was alright. He failed
though, I wasn’t the only one who could notice that easily. I
could see he felt uncomfortable at the time, so he let out a sigh of
relief seeing Bryan, Kian and Shane coming out of the lift. -
KI !!!!!- I was pretty sure my mom back in Poland could hear Agata’s
excitement when this girl spotted her boyfriend. She ran up to him and
they hugged so tightly, we all wondered if they would ever pull apart. As
far as Agata didn’t surprise me at all with her spontaneous reaction,
Dorothy made my jaw drop to the floor. No, it wasn’t THAT mad... The
usual „How you doin’ sweetcheeks?” didn’t make her scream or jump
with joy. She just... pretended she was looking for something in her
purse! I couldn’t help but laugh- the annoying Dorothy, who couldn’t
wait to see Bryan so bad she almost made the flight attendants kick us out
of the plane, was now acting so shy we couldn’t believe it! -
What you’re looking for in there darlin’?- Bry peered in her purse
curiously, making her blush even more. -
Oh.. hi Bry..!- Dorothy’s
attempt to make it look as if she has only noticed Bryan made us all laugh
out loud. She blushed even more and tried to hide her face in Bry’s
T-shirt, while he gave her a huge, bear hug. All
of us exchanged then hello’s and how are you’s with the rest of the
guys. Only Nicky was missing. -
Where’s Nicky?- questioned Dorothy, trying to get our attention off of
her. -
He’s...- Shane started but Agata, Dorothy and me finished the sentence
for him. -
...on the phone with Georgina!- we all laughed. -
Not this time, girls!- Shane smiled- he’s in the restaurant, together
with Anya... His
voice turned soft all of a sudden and I exchanged the „all knowing”
looks with both girls. -
Anya’s here as well?!- I asked happily. For the last three months Anya
and I were continuously exchanging emails and became good friends, so I
was more than happy to finally have the chance to talk to her in person.
She was one of the few people who knew I had feelings for Mark, what only
proved the fact that I trusted her totally. -
Yes, she is. Come on, I’ll show you where they are- Shane looked at me,
but instead I glanced at Mark. -
I’ll be upstairs- he smiled at us and went to the lift. We watched him
off and none of us said a thing, we just all sighed heavily at the same
time. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
Anyaaaa! - I shouted and we hugged each other- How are you, girl?! -
Great, great! How are you?!- she answered me with a big grin and we just
chatted away. We couldn’t stop talking for the next half an hour,
remembering all the things we talked about in our mails, including... Mr.
Filan. He got annoyed from time to time, seeing us whispering something
and looking in his direction, then burst out laughing. -
What..? WHAT??- his desperate reaction just made us laugh even more, so he
was basically going out of his mind. Lucky for us, he had no idea what we
were talking about... We
were all sitting by a table at the fancy hotel restaurant: Bryan and
Dorothy, Nicky, Kian with Agata on his lap, annoyed Shane beside Anya and
finally me. It was awesome, being here with them. My friends’ happy
faces made this trip worth it. Sometimes I glanced secretly at them: Agata
and Ki, who were most of the time kissing passionately, Bryan using all
his energy on teasing poor Dorothy and Shane stopping his talk with Nicky
from time to time, to give Anya his loving looks when he though she
didn’t notice. That’s
when I felt something- or maybe someone- was missing. -
I think I’ll go upstairs and see what Mark’s doing- I smiled at
everyone, trying to sound convincing. Well, at least I tried. Suddenly all
eyes were on me. -
Good luck, Kate. You got a tough job to do- Bryan gave me a reassuring
look despite his words, but it didn’t make me feel any better. So I just
smiled. - Thanks... I guess... – with that I made my way to the lift, taking in a few deep breaths.
Chapter 13 I
knocked on the door and waited for an answer. After a few seconds the door
opened and I saw Mark’s face brighten up when he saw me. -
Kate... - he smiled and gestured for me to come in. I
walked in and glanced around the room as he closed the door. Mark sure
tried to keep a home atmosphere in this fancy apartment: the radio was on
and some soppy song came on. The room itself was a big mess: there were
clothes on the floor, on the bed and even on the night table, along with
some CD’s and magazines thrown carelessly all across the floor. I
giggled as I saw a pair of boxer shorts hanging freely on a lamp beside
the bed. Mark
turned bright red and immediately took the boxers out of my hand, hiding
them behind his back. I
sighed and then smiled at him. -
You don’t need a friend, you need a maid. -
I’m sorry, I forgot to clean up this mess before you came. – he was
now running across the room, picking up his clothes, CD’s and magazines
from the floor. I sat on his bed watching him very amused but immediately
stood up when he grabbed a t- shirt I accidentally sat on. Then he packed
all the stuff he had in his hands into a big wardrobe and closed its door
with a big effort. -
Well done Mark- I said smiling and patted the bed beside me. He sat down,
trying to catch his breath and finally gave me a smile. Then he laid his
head on my shoulder and I swear, my heart started beating at least a
thousand times faster... -
Did I tell you how glad I am that you are here?- he lifted his head and
looked me in the eyes. -
I don’t think you did, but you can tell me anyway- I smiled at him. He
sat on the bed with his back against the headboard and gestured for me to
do the same. As I did, he put his arm around me and made me look him
straight in the eyes. -
I already feel a lot better when you are here- he said so sincerely, I
could only nod. I couldn’t think of an appropriate answer right now. -
What’s wrong, K? Aren’t you going to answer me with one of your jokes,
as you always do? -
Not this time, Mark- I said seriously. I wanted him to stop acting like
everything was alright, because it wasn’t. He looked at me, as if he was
reading my mind, and then he took his arm away from me. Instead, he put
mine around his neck and laid his head on my shoulder. -
Did you ever lose someone that was very close to you, Kate? – he asked
me unexpectedly, staring into space and playing with my fingers. I
cleared my throat. -
No. – I answered and suddenly felt guilty. How could I help him when I
didn’t even know the feeling? -
Well, you’re one lucky person then- he smiled to himself sadly. – I
did. Even two very close people. I
looked down at him and touched his hair gently. I decided to let him speak
and throw out all the sorrow he carried inside for I couldn’t find the
right words to say. I think it was what he wanted as well, ‘cause he
started telling me about his granddad, with his eyes still staring blankly
into space. I listened to him carefully, caressing his hair and tightening
my grip around him from time to time, when his voice was about to break. I
think we laid like that for an hour or two. Mark’s voice was getting
quieter and quieter with every minute and finally he dozed off, with his
head on my shoulder. I never stopped touching his hair though. After
a while, I felt like I could use a little rest too. At last I had a long
and tiring trip behind me and I
didn’t get to rest yet. It felt like a perfect occasion, so I laid down
beside Mark and closed my eyes... The
moment I opened them again I smiled to myself. Mark’s face was so close,
I could feel his breath on my face. I still had my arm around his neck,
his head rested on my shoulder, but Mark obviously wrapped his arm around
me when we were sleeping, ‘cause I now felt it around my waist. For the
second time this day I examined his features and signs of lack of sleep
that could be perfectly seen. Just then Mark opened his eyes unexpectedly
and I almost jumped. -
Sorry if I scared you- he said quietly and smiled. I felt a little
uncomfortable when his smile suddenly faded and he did the same thing I
was doing just a couple of seconds before- he was looking very intensively
at me. I blushed and turned my gaze away from his face. I
acted like I just found something interesting on his shirt and I was now
looking there, which wasn’t very helpful anyway. The
radio was still on and I heard a very familiar voice singing. I smiled to
myself when I realised it was Savage Garden, one of my favourite groups.
And one of my favourite songs, too... „When
you feel all alone And
the world has turned its back on you Give
me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart I
know you feel like the walls are closing in on you It’s
hard to find relief and people can be so cold When
darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can’t take anymore..” I
snapped back to reality and looked at Mark. He was looking back at me,
also smiling. I think we both understood what was going on. -
I love this song- I whispered and closed my eyes, singing quietly along to
the chorus. „Let
me be the one you call If
you jump I’ll break your fall Lift
you up and fly away with you into the night If
you need to fall apart I
can mend a broken heart If
you need to crash then crash and burn You’re
not alone” The
music continued as Mark smiled at me once again. -
It’s about us, isn’t it Kate? I
nodded, smiling back and sensing that something’s going to happen in a
minute. My heart was beating faster with every second but this time I kept
on looking into Mark’s eyes. I
closed my eyes though as he leaned towards me and I felt his lips on mine.
At first our kiss was slow and gentle, but then we started kissing more
passionately. I could feel Mark’s arm tightening around my waist as I
ran my fingers through his hair and then touched his face. I swear I’ve
put all my feelings for him into this kiss...
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