WestFiction- "I Need You" by Mary

Patricia Egan unwind the late afternoon by reading the morning paper. Occasionally she will look up from the newspaper to check on his son. Little Kian was like any other eleven-month old, exploring his world in baby style: anything that is touched must be tasted. She lived in constant fear that he’ll find some small item and choke on it. With the rest of his siblings, Kian was the most bouncy, not hyper but energetic. He was always up to something or other.

Several weeks ago, he learnt to pull himself up to stand using the coffee table. She usually placed a toy at one end of the table to encourage him to move towards it. Slowly he caught on to move his feet. Now his favorite pass time is going round and round the coffee table.

Patricia Egan looked up when she saw an odd movement from the corner of her eye. She gasped when she saw Kian take a few steps towards her, unaided. Her heart rate sped up a little, Kian spread out his hands to balance himself and concentrated on steadying his trembling legs. Left leg forward. Right leg forward. Left. Right. Left. Then he fell on his bum.

Kian encouraged by that, crawled back to the table, heaved himself up. This time, Patricia Egan held out her hand for her son and waited in anticipation. And Kian tried again. One foot before the other, slowly and unsteadily. Two steps in front of his mam, he reached out for her hand and clasped it, with a huge proud grin in his face. Patricia Egan was laughing with tears in her eyes… her baby just took his first few steps.

I need you like water

Like breath, like rain

I need you like mercy

From the heaven’s gate

There’s a freedom in your arms

That carries me through

I need you

1986

Kian was bored. Tom and Fenella were doing their homework, Gavin was at his piano lessons and Vivian went out. Marielle, his baby sister was fast asleep. Kian sighed and surveyed around the back lawn for something to play with: Football, the sand box, badminton racquets, Gavin’s tree house…a smile spread across his face. His mam was forever warning him from climbing trees, but it’s fun! He can pretend to be a ship captain, on the lookout for pirates.

Patricia looked around for Kian when it was nearly time to wash up for dinner. Something was amiss when Kian’s hullabaloo was not heard in the house.

“Kian, come on in!” she called out from the backyard. She turned to his direction just in time to see Kian lose his foot grip from the branch and fall to the ground.

“KIAN!” Alarmed, she ran over to him. All Kian was aware of was the pain shooting through his knees and hands, but he refused to cry. Vaguely he felt his mam carry him inside. Feeling the sting of the iodine on his flesh, he began to cry uncontrollably.

Patricia Egan was furious that Kian would disobey her. Climbing trees were fine with her, but not the tree in the backyard. He should grow a little bit more for that one. Why is it he never listened for anything that was for his own good? While medicating the wounds, she looked at Kian who fisted his hands at his eyes and sobbing his eyes out. Her anger slowly melted away.

“Here now, don’t cry,” she said and slowly blew his wounds to help ease the pain, “It’s okay.” In time his sobbing subsided to a few sniffs.

“Even Marielle doesn’t cry this much,” his mam teased, ruffling his hair. Kian attempted a smile at that. Placing bandages securely at his knees and hands, she carried him to his room.

“Mam?”

“What is it, huney?” she asked as she tucked him into the bed.

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you,” he said sleepily and slowly dozed off.

Patricia Egan stroked his forehead and smiled. This boy was adventurous and inquisitive, always wanting to do new things and doing it himself. She prayed nothing will break that spirit of his.

You’re the hope that moves me

To courage again

You’re the love the love that rescue’s me

When the cold winds rage

And it’s so amazing

Cause that’s just how you are

And I can’t turn back now

Cause you’ve brought me too far

2001

Kian tightly held the photo frame to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the images he desperately wants to forget.

“See you in a bit Ki…”

“I luv ya…”

“I love you too…”

“Kian Egan? I’m from Dublin GH…”

…there has been accident…

…she came in an hour ago…

…we tried everything we could…

…we’re sorry…

…when do you want us to arrange…”

Patricia Egan peeked into the room to find her son curled up in a ball in the corner of the bed. He had been that way for the past three weeks. She could only partially imagine what his son was going through. She couldn’t imagine how she’ll cope if she lost Kevin. And here, Kian was going through the loss of his sweetheart at the young age of 21. It hurt her to see him hurt.

She remembered the time she noticed a difference in Kian…and she knew it had to be a special girl, cause there wasn’t any other reason that makes a man smile as he did.

She also remembered the day Kian brought her home. He held her hand, walking up the driveway, to clam her nerves no doubt. And when he introduced her to the rest of the family, he was beaming proudly at her.

Katherine Connors, slightly taller than Kian, blonde hair, hazel eyes with a dimpled smile put stars in Kian’s eyes.

Then came the day, life cruelly took her away from him. Heartbroken wasn’t sufficient to describe what Kian was displaying. He retreated into his own world, unwilling for anyone to come near him. His friends have been supportive and understanding throughout it. Patricia Egan prayed that he’ll let one of them in to help him.

Kian went downstairs for a glass of water. He tried to sleep but ended tossing and turning. He was surprised to find his mam up and about ironing clothes.

“Mam? What are you doing up at 2 am?”

She just smiled and hid her worries, “Couldn’t sleep, so I may as well do something.” Taking the iron from her hands and placing it aside, he took her hand and led her to the kitchen, “come on mam, I’ll make us some tea.”

Kian made an effort to keep up a light conversation while making tea. He reached for the sugar and in turn knocked over a mug. It shattered into a million pieces. He cursed himself silently.

“I’m sorry, I’ll clean it up,” realizing he just broke his mam’s favourite mug, a gift from Fenella, a few years back. Clearing it up with his mam’s help, he got angry with himself, he couldn’t do a simple thing right. And something in him snapped.

“Kian it’s okay really…no harm done,” Patricia Egan said when she noticed tears falling from his eyes. She realized it wasn’t about the mug when tears turned into agonized sobs.

“Come here,” she held Kian as he cried his heart out, “That’s it,” she soothed, “let it all out.”

“Oh mam…” he said between sobs, “I…loved her so…much.”

“I know baby,” soothing him, “I know.”

I need you like water

Like breath, like rain

I need you like mercy

From the heaven’s gate

There’s a freedom in your arms

That carries me through

I need you

2002

Kian chuckled gleefully, he couldn’t believe he actually he done it. It was their first performance since Katherine…left. He had been a nervous wreck for the past few weeks worrying about the show. He had an awful feeling that he would just screw it up. He nearly pulled out 5 minutes before the show. But it went like clockwork, the familiarity of the stage was slowly coming back to him.

The customary rounds of cheers and pat in the back was exchanged when they got off the stage. He felt a little wistful, usually Katherine would come up to him laughing, teasing him about the silly mistakes they made during the performance.

It took tremendous effort to get his life back on track but he was managing it pretty well. No doubt the rest of the lads were great and supportive, he couldn’t ask for better friends. He hoped he’ll be able to repay them someway, one day. But mostly, he owed it to one person who literally shoved him back on stage this evening.

And she was waiting for him in the dressing area with a smile in her face, “Excellent show. You were great, all of you were great.”

“See,” Patricia Egan said, “it wasn’t that hard was it?”

“Not as much as I thought it would be,” he admitted, placing a kiss on her cheek, “I love you.”

“I think Katherine would have been proud,” she said after a long moment of thought. Kian gave her a smile. Who would have helped him get through these tough times? Who else would have reminded him, what Westlife meant to him? What would have he done without her?

“Thanks mam, for everything,” he said, giving her a hug, “It was exactly what I needed to do.”

THE END

~ ~ ~

Album: LeAnn Rimes/I Need You

Song: I Need You

Lyrics: Ty Lacy/Dennis Matkosky

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