I
lay in bed, wide awake, I knew why I couldn't sleep, but I didn't
understand, was the past still haunting me surely not. 2:00am the clock
read, I looked over my shoulder and smiled. Kian was sleeping like a baby;
he never had trouble sleeping as always, he was in the land of nods. He
was cuddling me like a young child with his teddy bear, never wanting to
let me go. I could understand that after the year we had, we grew closer,
fearing we'd lose each other again or maybe even worse for good. I love
him so much and we have proved love is stronger than anything, we have
pulled through and now were so happy, but deep inside my heart it still
hurts, when I think of what he did to me, those two dreaded years ago, I
know now he would never do that again because he’s got twice as much to
lose this time around, but it still hurts real bad..........
* Flashback *
'Welcome to LA, the local time is 11:00pm, today was 80 degrees and
tomorrow is set to be the same. I would like to wish you a pleasant
holiday and I hope you enjoy your stay here in LA' the mans voice on the
intercom, echoed through the airport.
I let out a huge sigh of relief. I hated long flights, I still do, but
then it was terrible and with the condition I was in, I felt awful. I
could not get comfortable, I had nausea, headaches and to top it all off
back pains. I exited the airport, found the nearest bench and sat down.
The fresh air did me good; the temperature I'd accumulated on that plane
was unbearable. As I just got relaxed, my mobile started ringing, I
searched through my bag to find Nicky's name flashing across the screen.
'Hey Nix, Howz it going?' I asked 'Great, have a nice flight?' 'No.' 'Why'
Nicky chuckled. 'It was exhausting, I know how it feels for you guys now.'
I replied 'You have not told Kian, I'm here have you, it's still a
surprise.' 'Very much so, it's been hard but I've kept my promise.'
'Good.' 'Anyway, do you want me to pick you up.’? 'If you wouldn't
mind.' 'Of course not, I'll see you in 10 minutes, ok?' 'Yeah sure, thanks
Nicky.' 'Hey no problem, bye sweetpea.' 'Bye snugglebunny.' We both hung
up laughing. I was still giggling 5 minutes later, I even got strange
looks from passers by, but I didn't care, As me and Kian, have been dating
for the last year, I made great friends with all the lads, but especially
Nicky, he was my best friend and like a brother to me, and for some reason
or other we just started giving each other pet names, the others think we
are weird, accept Bryan, he likes to join in and when he does, its so
funny, I crack my sides laughing. But that was not the real reason, I had
flown half way around the world to meet them, Kian was going to get the
biggest surprise of his life, it will put a bombshell on our relationship,
it could go either way, good or bad, I was praying good and fearing bad.
All I could do was wait, soon I would have to face him and sooner it was
as Nicky pulled up in the car. 'Hey sweetpea, sorry it took me so long, I
had to make up excuses to Kian, about leaving early, he reckons I've got
someone on the side, but he was drunk.' we both laughed 'Am I your someone
on the side, hopefully he won't say that when he sees me.' ' Course you
are there's no one but you, Chloe.' we both laughed again, he picked up my
bag, put it in the car and came over, which was accompanied with a little
kiss on the cheek. 'You look great.' He said looking me up and down. 'Do
I? Cause I don't feel it.' 'You do look a bit pale, but other than that
you look gorgeous.' 'Thanks' I said simply and blushed, Nicky carried on
the conversation as we got in the car, 'so what you been up two these last
few months.' 'Nothing really, slobbing around, college only starts in 2
months, but I don't know if I'm going this year.' 'What, why, college
means everything to you.' 'I know, but its my decision Nicky, I won't have
the time and I.... just forget it, I just won't have the time.' Nicky
continued to push it 'But you love college, why give it up you can make
time.' I was getting angry now. 'You just can't make the time Nicky, cause
I won't have the time, I 'll be two busy.' Nicky still didn't pick up the
signs, thank God. 'Ok, but you've not heard the last of this.' I turned
and looked out the window, if only you knew Nicky, then you would
understand, I do want to carry on college, but no chance now, with this
lump, I thought as I placed my hand on my stomach. The car suddenly pulled
to a Holt and I went flying forward. 'For Gods sake what the hell was
that.' I said getting out the car, 'Someone speeding you, ok.' 'Yeah, Just
feel a bit sick that’s all, I think I might go to bed is that ok,' 'Yeah
fine, I'm going to the bar for one last drink, if you need me I'll be
there.' 'Thanks' 'Kian's in room 105, second floor, he should be there,
but if not, come down here.' 'Thanx, night babe.' 'Yeah night sweetpea.'
Nicky watched as Chloe got in the lift, why was she quitting college she
loved it, that was going to bug him for the rest of the night, he turned
to see that the bar was closed, 'Early night for me then,' he mumbled to
himself and decided to walk the two flights up to his room, he didn't
fancy the lifts.
I paused outside his door, should I tell him now or wait till morning, no
its better late then never, I took a deep breath and gently knocked on the
door, no answer, I knocked again, still no answer. Damn I thought maybe
I'll try the handle, I did and surely enough it opened. I peered into the
dark room, I could hear muffled voices and as my eyes got accustomed to
the light I was confronted by my worst nightmare Kian in bed with another
woman.
Tears welled up in my eyes, I quickly turned around and ran down the
corridor, how could he do this to me I thought, not looking where I was
going I bumped into Nicky 'Chloe, whats wrong.' Nicky asked concerned. 'Oh
Nicky.' I collapsed in his arms and burst into tears. 'Come on into my
room and you can tell me all about it' I silently nodded and followed him
into the room. Bryan was asleep on the furthest bed, so I sat on the other
one and continued crying. Nicky came over and put a comforting arm around
me, still with tears in my eyes, I buried my head into his chest. 'Are you
going to tell me whats wrong?' 'Everything, Nicky.' 'Wanna start from the
beginning.' 'I....I caught him... in bed with another woman.' I lowered my
voice 'And that’s not the worst of it.' I went silent, Nicky waited
patiently 'the reason, I'm not going to college, is because, oh Nicky I'm
pregnant, I'm having his child.' 'Oh god Chloe I don't know what to say.'
he tried to comfort me, but it was no use 'I'm so scared Nicky, so
scared.' 'I'm going to kill the bastard' Nicky shouted heading for the
door. 'Don't' With this we woke Bryan 'who you going to kill, it wasn't me
I swear, I didn't do anything, it was..........urm......Kian' 'We know it
was Kian.' Nicky shouted, still protective of me. 'Oh, good.' Bryan looked
relieved, till he noticed me crying. 'What's wrong, sweet cheeks' (Another
pet name) Nicky filled him in, on what had just happened. 'Oh god Chloe,
I'm so sorry, you don't look pregnant though' Bryan replied 'Good I don't
want to look pregnant.' I said looking at the floor. 'I still say we kill
him' Nicky suddenly said. 'No, Nicky, it won't do any good, it won't make
this mess go away, I'll fly back to London tomorrow and forget whats
happened, I'll be one of those single mums, bringing up the child.' who
was I trying to kid, how could I forget something like this, I was telling
myself. 'How far gone are you.' Bryan asked. '4 months' 'That long, how
long have you known.' '2 weeks' 'So you can't have an abortion.' I shook
my head 'I couldn't have had one anyway, but I am two young to have a
child guys, especially alone, I'm only 18, how am I meant to manage, I'm
so scared.' 'Don't worry, we'll be here for you, won't we Nix.' 'Yeah of
course.' For the rest of the night, I cried on Bryans shoulder and
eventually fell asleep.
I woke up, from the sunrays creeping from behind the curtains; I sat up
and got accustomed to the light. Bryan was sprawled out on the bed next to
me, a little smile appeared on my face, he had been great last night,
every time I woke up crying, he would cuddle me and tell me it was
alright, he was the best friend I needed right then. But where was Nicky,
I looked over to my right and he was sat peacefully reading the newspaper
in the corner. 'Hey' I mumbled. 'Good morning' He replied. 'Feeling better
today.' 'No, not at all' 'I've booked you on a flight back to London at 1,
this afternoon, that ok' 'Fine' 'Good, now go and get a wash, were meeting
Shane and Mark for breakfast at 10.' 'Ok, he’s not going to be there is
he.' 'Not that I know of, he came round last night, he wanted to see you,
but I told him where to go.’ ''Thanx Nicky for everything.' I said tears
filling in my eyes again, he came over and hugged me 'Hey, its ok, I'm
here for you always, we'll get through it together.' I had to smile, he
was being so nice to me 'Thanks, I don't know what I'd do without you'
'you'd do fine' 'Probably' 'Go and get a wash, your running out of time
miss’s.' 'Yes sir' I saluted and went into the bathroom. When I emerged,
Bryan was in the land of living 'I feel fat' 'Well you don't look fat, you
look pregnant.' Bryan laughed, he was trying to be his funny self, 'Haha,
funny' I said sticking out my tongue. We made our way to the restaurant
and immediately there was tension between myself, Shane and Mark, I knew
they knew, but I still questioned. 'You know.' 'Yeah, I hope you don't
mind Chloe, I told them.' Nicky replied guiltily. 'No, not at all, they
would have found out sooner or later.' The waiter came and took or order
'4 fry ups and whatever Chloe wants' 'A piece of toast please.' 'That all'
Shane asked concerned 'Yes' 'Come on Chloe you're eating for two now' 'I
know, but have you ever heard of morning sickness.' 'Yes, oh right,
that’s why you don't want anything.' Shane blushed 'Actually guys,
please excuse me, I have to go to the little girls room.' with that I left
them to it and went to throw up in the toilets. When I returned, the guys
where acting weird, they had worried looks on their faces and as I
approached the table, the tension built. Nicky didn't dare look me in the
eyes, actually Bryan's eyes looked straight past me,I followed his gaze
and there was Kian stood at the breakfast bar, I quickened up my pace to
the table. 'Listen guys, I don't feel well , I need a lie down, you know
before the flight and all.' 'Are you sure Chloe, you don't have to leave
because of Kian.' 'Oh yes I do, anyway I feel kinda faint.' 'Ok then,
heres the key to our room and don't lock the door cause Bryan always loses
his key.' 'Hey I heard that.' Bryan said playfully hitting Nicky's arm.
'Thanks, see ya later.' 'Yeah bye.' they all chorused. I made my way to
the lift, but didn't get very far. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I slowly
turned around to be confronted with Kian. 'We need to talk.' 'I don't have
anything to say.' I spun around ready to leave but he grabbed my arm, and
spun me around again, by now everyone was staring at us. 'I've not
finished.' he shouted, I could have slapped him there and then, but I
reframed myself. 'Get your hands off me, you disgust me.' I spat out, he
calmed down 'I'm sorry Chloe.' I raised my voice 'Your sorry, no Kian, I'm
the one whose sorry, I'm sorry for loving you, I'm sorry for trusting you,
I'm sorry for depending on you when I needed you the most and the one
thing I'm most sorry about is thinking you loved me enough to start a
family,' 'What you on about Chloe.' Kian asked confused, I lowered my
voice , to refreze myself from crying, 'I'm pregnant Kian.' 'Is it mine?'
'Of course its yours!' I screamed at him. He stood there in shock not
believing what he had just heard, he finally spoke 'We can work this out
Chloe.' 'No we can't, how can we, I can't trust you again, I'm sorry Kian
its over.' Both crying, I ran out of the restaurant and out of his life
forever, there was no turning back, all I could do now was go forward and
forward meant alone, that afternoon I flew back to London, with no
intentions of seeing him again, it hurt so bad, I still loved him, but he
didn't love me, or did he? then I feared I had made a huge mistake.
*End
of flashback*
It was still dark outside, 3:00am the clock now read, there was no way I
was going to get back to sleep now, I gently unraveled Kian’s arms and
got out of bed. I slipped on my dressing gown and slippers and made my way
down the landing, as I walked past Kaci’s bedroom, I checked on her, she
was sleeping softly in her cot, she didn’t have problems sleeping
either, she was just like her dad. I quietly closed her door and went down
stairs. I poured myself a glass of water and sat down on the breakfast
bar, flood backs of last year came again.
*Flashback *
A normal Saturday night in, well I couldn’t exactly go out in my
condition, 8 and a half months pregnant, well I could but it’s
practically unheard of, isn’t it?, anyway couples usually stay in and
cuddle up on the sofa, but not for me, it was me and the TV for comfort,
as for the partner, Kian well I have not talked to him since that incident
earlier this year, of course he had called and begged for forgiveness, I
was still devasted and stayed with my mum for a couple of months, Nicky
and Bryan where the only ones I kept in touch with, Bryan even came to
some pregnancy classes with me, he was a doll, he even made me laugh and
right then it was a miracle. Anyways back to the story, I was watching my
favorite film, Titanic, it was just about to sink and I released I
hadn’t got any tissues and popcorn! I paused the film and pulled myself
of the sofa, my back was killing me, when suddenly my waters broke
‘Shit’ I cursed and in pain made my way to the phone on the table. The
first call went out to the ambulance and the second went out to a very
familiar number. ‘Hello’ a soft Irish voice asked, ‘Hey Nicky,
it’s me, where are you?’ I asked impatiently, through sobs trying
breathing deeply. ‘Oh hi, sweetpea I’m in a bar in London, why?,’ he
answered. ‘Could you get to the hospital as soon as possible, please
Nicky, I’m so…….scared,’ Chloe begged, light dawned in his eyes.
‘Oh God, is it time.’ ‘Yes’ Chloe screeched, as a contraction
came. ‘Ok, I’ll be there as soon as possible, hold on.’ ‘Thanx
Nicky, this means a lot to me.’ ‘Don’t worry, hunny, just wait for
me, you hear.’ ‘Yeah,
ok I promise.’ I
laughed through my tears, ‘I’ll have to go Nix the ambulance is
here.’ ‘Ok, cya love.’ ‘I will soon hopefully, bye.’ I answered
as I put the phone down; I got in the ambulance and was whisked swiftly to
the hospital.
Meanwhile at the bar the other westlifers where looking questionally at
Nicky. ‘Who was that?’ Shane asked. Nicky quickly glanced at Kian, who
was staring into his pint, he had been like that since Chloe left him, it
was an effort just to get him out of his hotel room, these days, he was
always depressed. ‘Well?’ Mark asked, interrupting Nicky from his
thought ‘Who was it?’ Bryan said getting annoyed. ‘Oh guys I have to
go, it was Chloe and…’ Nicky was cut off. Kian’s head shot up. ‘As
in my Chloe?’ he asked. ‘She was your Chloe, anyway I have to go to
the hospital cause she’s gone into labour.’ ‘Oh God.’ Kian shouted
getting his coat and running out of the pub, the other westlifers gave
each other worried looks and ran after Kian, they got outside to see Kian
getting into the nearest taxi. ‘Oh God, we have to follow him to the
hospital.’ Bryan shouted and they got into the nearest taxi. Kian got
out and quickly paid the taxi driver, ‘Keep the change.’ he mumbled
and dashed into the hospital. The main doors opened and he rushed over to
the small nurse at the reception desk. ‘I’m here to see Chloe Evans,
she was rushed in a while ago.’ ‘Ok, your name please.’ She asked
‘Kian, Kian Egan, God I hope she’s ok, she went into labour with my
child, I hope everything’s fine.’ ‘Ok, calm down Mr. Egan, she’s
in room 125, second floor, I hope everything is fine.’ ‘Thanx’ Kian
ran to the hospital room, but paused outside, ‘this is it’ he thought
to himself ‘Now or never.’ He pushed the door open and froze, as he
heard Chloe scream with pain, tears filled his eyes, it hurt to see her in
pain after all this time apart, the nursed beckoned him over. ‘Come over
here son, do you want to see your child being born.’ I looked up and
gasped as I saw Kian. ‘What are you doing here, where’s Nicky?’ I
bellowed as I got another contraction. Kian slowly walked over to my side
and took my hand; she didn’t refuse it, that’s a start Kian thought.
‘God Chloe, I had to be here, I have to see our child entering the
world, this means the world to me, I love you and I love our child more
than anything, will you forgive me?’ I didn’t answer straight anyway,
just nodded, ‘So will you forgive me please I want to spend the rest of
my life with you and our child, I want to give you my life, I want to give
our child the world, so will you forgive me please Chloe, I have never
loved you more than this moment now.’ ‘Yes I will forgive you, you
don’t know how much I’ve missed you.’ ‘I’ve missed you too,
more’ he added cheekily, I smiled and accepted the passionate kiss he
offered.
‘Sorry to interrupt but are you ready Chloe, push.’ I nodded and
started pushing, I screamed out in pain and was trying to breath deeply,
Kian was in his own little world, he couldn’t believe he was going to be
a father, this was the most incredible feeling in the world, he was
holding my hand gently, but yelped as I squeezed it, he brushed the sweat
of my forehead ‘You can do this Chloe, just push, I love you.’ ‘One
last push Miss Evans.’ ‘Aaraghhh.’ I pushed one more time and that
was it, the next thing I heard was a baby crying, my baby our baby. I sunk
down on the bed, still in pain; I was relieved it was over. The nurse came
over. ‘Congratulations, it’s a baby girl.’ I smiled as she handed
me, the bundle of joy, that I had carried for the past 8 months, she was
so tiny, ‘She’s perfect,’ Kian said tears flowing from his eyes
‘I’m so proud of you, she’s gorgeous, just like you.’ he said,
kissing my forehead, I smiled at him, ‘Wanna hold her.’ I asked, him.
He nodded, as he held her, I had never seen him so happy, he had a glow in
his crystal blue eyes, that made them sparkle more, than ever, I loved him
more than ever. He noticed me staring and tried making conversation,
‘what are we gonna call her.’ ‘I don’t know, I like the name Kaci
though.’ ‘I love that name, so Kaci it is.’ ‘Yeah,
ok, hello Kaci.’ I
said cuddling her. Kian felt his coat pocket and fiddle with the little
satin box, he had bought nearly a year ago, he was planning to ask Chloe
to marry him, but it all went wrong when she left him, I’ve got nothing
to lose now. ‘Chloe.’ He mumbled. ‘Yeah’ she said looking up from
Kaci. He took a deep breath and got down on one knee, I just looked
questionally at him. ‘Chloe I was stupid and I didn’t mean to hurt
you, the fact is I’ve missed you so much and I don’t wanna lose you
again, so…. will you marry me,’ he asked, taking out the little box,
and revealing a dolphin engagement ring, I gasped it was gorgeous. I burst
into tears and nodded. ‘Is that a yes then.’ He laughed ‘Yeah.’ I
replied, and enveloped him into the biggest hug ever. ‘I’m the
luckiest man in the world.’ ‘And I’m the luckiest girl.’ I
chuckled and kissed him with loads of passion. ‘Sorry to disturb you
miss, but there’s four young lads waiting for you, is it ok if they come
in.’ I looked at Kian cradling Kaci in her cot. ‘Yeah send them in.’
‘Are we gonna tell them the good news.’ Kian asked cautious ‘Only if
you want to.’ ‘More than anything.’ ‘Then yeah.’ Just as I
finished my sentence the guys rushed in, congratulating us in turn,
showering me in hugs and kisses. ‘She’s beautiful.’ Bryan said
holding her. Nicky came and sat next to me ‘I’m sorry for not being
her, like I promised.’ ‘It’s ok Nicky, you did me a favour, and
you’ve made it the best day of my life.’ ‘How’ Nicky asked
puzzled. Kian took over ‘Well we are getting married.’ Everyone was
shocked at first and then congratulated us. ‘Thanx Nicky.’ Chloe said
giving another hug. ‘Actually if its alright with Kian, I would like to
ask a favour of you Bryan and Nicky.’ ‘Sure’ they said ‘Well when
me and Kian split up, you two where there for me, through thick and thin
and I could never express how grateful I am to you for that, you got me
through the toughest time of my life so far and I would be grateful, if
you do me and Kian the honor of becoming Kaci’s godfathers. They both
agreed and the afternoon went by fast, soon everyone was leaving and I was
left to get some rest with Kaci. That day was one of the best days of my
life, well anyway apart from the wedding.
*End of flashback*
Two arms enveloped me from the back, making me jump out of my thoughts,
‘You coming back to bed.’ He asked, kissing the back of neck. ‘In a
minute.’ ‘Aww come back now, I need you to cuddle, its to cold
otherwise, ‘Aw poor you,’ Chloe chuckled ‘as long as it’s only
cuddling.’ Chloe smiled, a wicked grin came over Kian’s face,
‘you’ll have to wait and see.’ ‘Tempting.’ I replied, he took my
hand and led me to the bedroom, with the moonlight dancing on my
engagement ring.
