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I
no longer want to be at the circus,
All the wondering around has hurt us
It's
like inside a booth is my heart
You
stand outside and throw the darts
Are
all your feelings in the passing carts?
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As all the magic just poof! disappeared
It
got harder harder for you to hear
Which
left us both in sadness and tears
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Life
for us has been like being at that fair
Running
from ride to ride going absolutely no where
I
got so wore out playing truth or dare
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I
love you truly my child, I really care
Isn't
it time to learn to share?
Ohhhhhhh
my gosh, aren't we a pair?????
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All
my want-a-be's are all gone
I
was spinning and waving way to long
I am looking now for a different song
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Perhaps
the day will come
With
a relief and sighhhh
That
the clown masks will come off,
You'll
no longer hide
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Like
the flame-thrower my heart was in a blaze
Now
it's been pierced enough; it's in a daze
I
can't change my truths for you, or my ways
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As
we rode round and round on the fairies wheels
It
was spinning so fast who could feel?
My
hands being cuffed on the roller coaster ride
It
was going so quickly, I almost died
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We
walked in and out the side show tents
I
fell in traps my heart had dents
My
soul will never be for rent
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Like
the clowns, I saw such a tease
Nothing
I did would please
Was
looking for the wrong key?
I
asked myself "what does she see"
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As I
watched the acts in the 3 rings
I
felt and thought of many things
I
didn't know which ring was real
No
wonder it was so hard to heal
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Lyons
and tigers and bears
You
were always saying life was unfair
Remember
me touching your hair?
You
didn't know my love nor how much I cared
You
didn't take time to learn
You
were in a constant crash and burn
You
weren't ready nor want to learn
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Like
all the animals in their cage
You'd
come at me with hidden rage
For
things I didn't do, what a haze
I
wanted to be on a different page
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Did
I want to have fun and play?
Yes
I did, but in a healthy way
Stand
still; softly listen to what I say
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My
feet standing on shaky stilts
My
soul was thrown in and out of kilts
It
is there that my soul did wilt
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As
we walked down the mid-way
You
seemly always strayed
Pulling
my hair straight and frayed
I
didn't have power to make you stay.
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I am
sorry your life is so sad
You
may never know what we had
If
we did I'm not sure we'd be glad
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Like
the carnies who know how to con
Only
another con knows whats going on
When
one is treated and the other not
Oh
my oh my what a mess we got
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Like
the Hurdy-Gurdy-Man
With
a monkey holding out his hand
Money
and things were his biggest fan
There
is more to life than a one-man band
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As
we walked through the house of mirror's
I
saw many distortions followed by fears
Those
hurt me bad, they curled my ears
Maturity
comes by listening to peers
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Me,
on the flying trapeze soaring with ease
I
felt you blinded, you couldn't see ME
There
were two of us, you and (ME)
If I
was to catch you, you had to let go
Letting
your feelings and truths flow
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How
could I catch you if you won't stand still?
There
is no thrill in a battle of wills
There
I was ready to catch, and protect
Standing
there waiting made me a wreck
I
finally said "oh gezz what the heck"
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See
the fish swimming in the bowl?
It
takes one dime, one risk to throw
That's
how my heart will truly mold
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When
life and honesty settles down
On
the spiral of the spinning merry-go round
Perhaps
we'll stand toe to toe on solid ground
Then
maybe we'll have something sound
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No
more can there be any clowns
With
their faces all painted with frowns
The
big big walls must first come down
Perhaps
then we'll love and be bound
All
the life long fanaticizes are gone
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Watching
us walk on the high wire
I
look below; I see nothing but fire
No
net to catch me when I went higher
I
finally got off and climbed down the latter
Looking
down I saw a living hell
It
shook me so hard I almost fell
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Walking
with me you'll find things to unravel
Like
walking the road of less traveled
We
can't play the word game of scrabble.
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When
the circus has come to and end
Does
it really matter who wins?
Does
it matter who has the greatest sins?
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Win
or loose what have we gained
In
the end it was too much of a strain
I'm
coming in from the poring rain
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Tell
me daughter who's behind that face
I
didn't want to be in a win and loose race
I have given up the insanity chase.
Its
time to come home from the circus
There
is nothing left, it's just not worth it
© Copyright 2001 Birthmother - Ginger 
I
will Always love you Tina. I will be here when it is time :)
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