If Only

If only I hadn't been so scared way back then;
If only she'd have known how I wanted to be her friend.
Sometimes there is an emptiness I feel down deep inside.
But I approach my life with a smile; the sadness I try to hide.
I was taken from her arms on the day I was born.
For the rest of her sweet life she was left to mourn.
I'm a daughter of her body and she's always in my heart.
Our spirits were connected though our bodies far apart.
But I let my fears get in the way--
and instead of reconnecting I just sat back and prayed.
How was I to know her life would be cut short?
And I am left with guilt and feelings I must sort.
Just to say "I love you" and to hear her speak my name.
and to tell her to her face that I've never placed blame.
She did what she had to do and I cherish my life she gave.
But I want to feel her hugs so bad, not tell this to her grave.
She left behind my aunts and two sisters I adore.
If I had been raised with them I couldn't love them more.
I hope to get past these thoughts that it's all because of me.
If only I'd searched earlier--I could have helped to set her free.
And she wouldn't have died wondering; I'd have said goodbye
as I do anyway right now with each tear I cry.
My life is filled with beauty, family and friends that I love,
and a special Birthmom Angel at peace, hugging me from above.

Dana Patton

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Thank you, Ginger and Tina


      

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