Fathers

Three little boys were playing in the street like little boys do.

One boy said: "My father writes a few lines that rhyme on a piece of paper. He calls it a poem. He sends it to a magazine and they pay him $ 50."

Another boy said: "That's nothing. My father writes several lines on several pieces of paper and they don't have to rhyme. He calls it a short story. He sends it to a magazine and they pay him $ 100."

The third boy said: "That's nothing! My father has you both beat. He writes several lines of several pieces of paper. He calls it a sermon. When he speaks on Sunday morning, it takes eight men to take up all the money!"

Introduction 

A group of strangers are sitting in a room. Waiting for the rest to arrive to begin the conference, one of them suggests they each introduce themselves and say what they do as an "ice-breaker".

He says: "Well I'm a YUPPIE: Young Urban Professional."

Another man says: "My wife and I are DIPS: Dual Income Parents."

Then a woman sitting across from them says: "I am a WIFE: Washing, Ironing, Fucking, Etc."

Flying

There were two guys sitting in a bar at the top of the Empire State building. The first man said to the second: "You know, if you jump out of this window here, you'll fly back in the room at floor 10?"

The bartender shakes his head in disapproval.

The second man says: "I don't believe it!"

"Ok," says the first man, "I'll prove it."

He jumps out of the window and lands back in the room at floor 10. 

Then he says: "See?"

The second man says: "I just saw it and don't believe it! Can you do it again? If you do that and you fly back in the room again, I'll try it too."

The first man jumps out of the window again and lands for the second time in the room at floor 10.

"Ok, I've seen it twice now, I do it!"

He jumps out of the window and drops past floor 11, 10, 9, 8... and splats on the sidewalk.

The bartender looks at the first man and says: "Superman you're a real asshole when you're drunk!"