Imperial Officers' Club
Episode 15: Piett in Training

by
Ian Brazee-Cannon


Spirit of Obi-Wan- Luke...Luke
Piett- You talking to me?
S.Obi-Wan- You must go to the
              Dagobah system.  There you
             Will find Yoda...Wait, you're
             Not Luke.

S.Obi-Wan- Didn't I kill you?
Spirit of Darth Maul- Yes
Piett- Yoda? What's a Yoda?
        Some kind of drink?
Motti- Who are you talking to?
Piett- A old, glowing man.


S.Obi-Wan- No hard feelings, right?
S. Darth Maul- At last I will have my
                        revenge
S. Obi-Wan- Can't we talk about this?
Motti- Where are you going?
Piett- Dagobah. I always listen to 
    glowing men. They know good brews

Piett- I hope this is the place. 
         It smells like a bar at least.
         Now to find some Yoda and go
         Home.  Hey, look someone left
        A lightsaber just sitting here
        What a cool find.
        I hope no one comes looking for it

Yoda- Away with your weapon
           I mean you no harm.
Piett- You know where I can get some
         Yoda?
Yoda- Yoda...You seek Yoda.
Piett- Yeah, that's what I just said
         Some old glowing guy told me...


Yoda- Found him, you have
Piett- The old glowing guy? Where.
Yoda- No, Yoda am I.  Teach you I will
Piett- What?  No.  Yoda is some kind
        Of  drink.  Maybe a type of Scotch
Yoda- For eight hundred years...
Piett- Okay, we'll do it your way
      I don't need to hear your life's story

Yoda- Beware of the dark side.  Once
         You start down the dark path
         Forever will it dominate your...
Piett- Do you always talk like this?
Yoda- Warned, you must be.
Piett- Why I am carrying you like this?
Yoda- My speeder, broken down it has

Piett- I can't do it.  Maybe if I tried on
         something smaller
Yoda- Size matters not.  Judge me by
           my size do you?
Piett- Well, yeah. Your short and funny
        looking.  Most likely people point
       and laugh at you when you walk by

Piett- Look I'm just not...whoops...
         Where'd that come from?
Yoda- You must go there.
Piett- Where? What's down there?
Yoda- Only what you take with you.
Piett- Then I'll take my drink
Yoda- Your drink, you will not need it

Piett- Hello, anyone there
Shadowy Figure- Piett, I finally found
             you.  You must come with me
Piett- Oh no.  Some kind of dark image
        of myself come to take me.  
        I must destroy it

Piett- Oh, it's just you Motti
Motti- Ohhh...Why?
Piett- Yeah, well...um... sorry about that
       Why would greeny send me down
        here for this? 


Piett- What the?!  You little bastard.
          You drank all my booze.
Yoda- The cave...hiccup..Remember
          You failure at the...hiccup...cave
Piett- I'm going home.  Little green guys
     Who can't hold their liquor are no fun

 

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1/25/01