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Imperial Officers' Club
Episode 15: Piett in Training

by
Ian Brazee-Cannon

Spirit of Obi-Wan- Luke...Luke Piett- You talking to me? S.Obi-Wan- You must go to the               Dagobah system.  There you              Will find Yoda...Wait, you're              Not Luke.

S.Obi-Wan- Didn't I kill you? Spirit of Darth Maul- Yes Piett- Yoda? What's a Yoda?         Some kind of drink? Motti- Who are you talking to? Piett- A old, glowing man.

S.Obi-Wan- No hard feelings, right? S. Darth Maul- At last I will have my                         revenge S. Obi-Wan- Can't we talk about this? Motti- Where are you going? Piett- Dagobah. I always listen to      glowing men. They know good brews

Piett- I hope this is the place.           It smells like a bar at least.          Now to find some Yoda and go          Home.  Hey, look someone left         A lightsaber just sitting here         What a cool find.         I hope no one comes looking for it

Yoda- Away with your weapon            I mean you no harm. Piett- You know where I can get some          Yoda? Yoda- Yoda...You seek Yoda. Piett- Yeah, that's what I just said          Some old glowing guy told me...

Yoda- Found him, you have Piett- The old glowing guy? Where. Yoda- No, Yoda am I.  Teach you I will Piett- What?  No.  Yoda is some kind         Of  drink.  Maybe a type of Scotch Yoda- For eight hundred years... Piett- Okay, we'll do it your way       I don't need to hear your life's story

Yoda- Beware of the dark side.  Once          You start down the dark path          Forever will it dominate your... Piett- Do you always talk like this? Yoda- Warned, you must be. Piett- Why I am carrying you like this? Yoda- My speeder, broken down it has

Piett- I can't do it.  Maybe if I tried on          something smaller Yoda- Size matters not.  Judge me by            my size do you? Piett- Well, yeah. Your short and funny         looking.  Most likely people point        and laugh at you when you walk by

Piett- Look I'm just not...whoops...          Where'd that come from? Yoda- You must go there. Piett- Where? What's down there? Yoda- Only what you take with you. Piett- Then I'll take my drink Yoda- Your drink, you will not need it

Piett- Hello, anyone there Shadowy Figure- Piett, I finally found              you.  You must come with me Piett- Oh no.  Some kind of dark image         of myself come to take me.           I must destroy it

Piett- Oh, it's just you Motti Motti- Ohhh...Why? Piett- Yeah, well...um... sorry about that        Why would greeny send me down         here for this?

Piett- What the?!  You little bastard.           You drank all my booze. Yoda- The cave...hiccup..Remember           You failure at the...hiccup...cave Piett- I'm going home.  Little green guys      Who can't hold their liquor are no fun