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by
Ian Brazee-Cannon
I never thought I would feel so sad at
the
site of that old gateway. Its brown paint chipped away by
time.
The lower area dented by who knows how many cars having ran into
it. It
used to be a symbol of freedom to me, an escape from life.
I remember as a child coming here all the
time with my father. We would find a quiet area to watch the
hang-gliders as they flew down from the top of the mountain. Then
there are the
times we brought my cousins along and we would play tag for hours.
There
was the time dad climbed the tree to get my kite down and found a bee
hive
instead. The tree looks smaller to me now. It's still resting next to
the stream that I would jump in fully clothed and then get a lecture
from
my mother once we got home.
Those were the good times. I had
no worries what so ever. Life was easy then.
There's that old burnt down cabin that
I would bike to with my friends. I wonder if that coffee can is
still
under the floorboards I hope we didn't leave anything in
it.
I know at one point we had almost a hundred dollars hidden in it.
I can't believe I'm thinking about the
coffee can tonight. That was just a childish way of occupying my
time. I haven't even seen most of that group of friends in
years.
I think Jimmy is the only one I still hang with. Now I don't even
know if I want him for a friend anymore.
There's the tree where Cindy and I first
started going out. Seems like most of my life has been based around
this
mountain.
Why am I thinking of Cindy? She was
just a junior high girlfriend. There was no future with
her.
It only lasted a little over a year.
But Tammy, I thought we really had
something
together. I guess I was wrong.
How fitting. There's the spot Tammy
and I first kissed. I remember that night so well. The sky
was clear, so you could see all the stars and the moon was full.
I heard the crickets chirping quietly all around us. Out of the
corner
of my eye I saw a shooting star. I thought it was as sign that
Tammy
was the right girl for me. I must have misread it.
Of course here is where she drove me that
night we lost our virginities together. Just a little bit off the road,
so no one would find us. She wore that silky red dress that was
easy
to take off. We had a little harder of a time getting my clothes
off.
You would think an event like that would mean something to her. It did
to me.
Almost to the top now. There's where
that Lewis kid drove off the edge. Not a fate for me.
My fate has to be different. Most
likely he never had his best friend steal his girl away from him.
I can't believe that they would kiss right in front of me like that.
Especially
when as far as I knew things with me and Tammy were still going
strong.
Although they never did take me seriously. Or even acted like they
cared
how I felt. No one ever takes me seriously.
There, I made it to the top. All
my friends who joked about how I would end up like that Lewis kid if I
ever tried to drive up the mountain can kiss my ass. I'm a good
driver.
Tomorrow I'll tell them where they can shove it. They'll most likely
just
laugh at me and find something new to tease me about. I don't
care,
because now I know I can do it. I don't have to take any of their
jokes seriously. For once I can tell them they are full of bull.
Maybe they'll start to listen to me and take my feelings seriously.
I better stop thinking about all that
crap. Just turn around and go home now. It's after one and
I'm getting tired.
Back to where that Lewis kid went
off.
Sorry, but I won't be joining you tonight.
And there's where we lost our
virginities.
Maybe if I talked to Tammy, I can win her back.
There's where we kissed. I really
do care about her. Maybe I can forgive her and Jim. There
can't
be anything serious between them...
Where'd that deer come from?
Too much sand on the road, the car won't
stop. Better swerve around the stupid animal.
Uh oh. Maybe they were right after
all.
Look, there's the old cabin, and the stream
with the tree next it, and there's the gateway...
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