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or "Why Michael Really Had His Hair Cut"
Chapter I The Crime
Sonja~
Sonja sat huddled in the corner of the kitchen in Mooseheart
Manor, rocking to and fro, head hanging, tears streaming down her face,
slapping herself with an endless supply of wet noodles. The MGFans gathered
round her ...looking on with a great show of concern, that is till Sonja
blurted out,
"I have been so-o-o-o busy lately that I just haven't had time to even look at e-mail, nor watch TV......but took an hour just now to download email and check up on things......only to realize that...................I'D FORGOTTEN TO WATCH GERONIMO yesterday afternoon !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The MGFans gasped as Sonja continued,
"I've been awaiting this film all week......I KNEW it was going to be on........aaaaaaagh!!!! And the channel that it showed on NEVER repeats movies. And THEN I got to thinking......now wasn't 'Lost Child' supposed to be on this month too??? I rushed to the TV guide.........It was on Thursday night!!!! I missed that too!!!!!! Oh woe is me!!! *sniff* *Sob* What kind of MG fan AM I anyway???!!!!!" she finished on a wail.
Sonja threw herself on the floor sobbing uncontrollably! "Waaaaaaaahhaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!"
She looked up, blubbering uncontrollably, "It's happening Marnie!! *choke* The dreaded "transformation"........I'm turning into a ......*gulp* .......... RESPONSIBLE , SANE working person who does not have time for TV or her email! I can't believe I missed Michael in TWO movies this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O-O-o-o-ohhhhhhh........Kill me now, I don't want to go on living!!!"
Then taking in Marnie's glowering countenance she hastily tacked
on, ".... It's all Sir Reg's fault!!! He's got me working two jobs!!"
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Marnie~
Marnie, not one whit mollified, ran up and dumped another
bucket of steaming pasta (fortunately there's always a steady supply of
pasta boiling away in the Mooseheart Manor kitchens) over Sonja as
she hollered,
"Call yourself an MG Fan, huh? You'll be lucky we don't cut the
buttons off your LHKV uniform and banish you from Greyland!!!!"
Erica~
Erica came to her chum's, and fellow countryman's, defence
"Wag net so 'n bietjie (wait a minute). The Hi-Greylander won't go so harsh
on the dear soul for forgetting a movie he played a supporting role in."
Sonja stopped snivelling and glanced up hopefully.
Erica continued, "Let's review the facts. She diligently votes, spurs others on to vote and doesn't miss any MG event. I therefore move for a light sentence, your honour. One slip up?! I suggest we give her a warning and a full day's worth of community service in Greyland - no sleep or rest permitted. She'll have to wash his horse, make him a war shirt and tend his camp."
Erica was not going to let anyone forget that she was the first graduate
of the University of Greyland and tacked on the BA LLB (lawyer) after
her name whenever she could.
Marnie~
"So....," Marnie spat out her guns spiked, "it's a trial you want?
Who wants to be on the jury ...who wants to be judge? Who wants to submit
a petition in her defence? Character witnesses? Prosecutor?" As Marnie
was throwing out these questions she had marched out of the kitchens through
the grand hallway up the double staircase and into the wing that housed
all the various formal outfits that they wore when the occasion demanded.
She strode in with Carol, Sonja, Erica and various other delighted onlookers
in her wake. Lisa who had been taking a hem up on Mariel's' chameleon garb
dropped the pins at the unexpected sight of so many MGFans descending on
her domain. Shannela, who was assisting, made a grab for the chameleons
who had found themselves un-tacked but alas too late.... They slithered
away.
"Ooh ...Marnie," groaned Shannela in irritation "... that's another
outfit ruined." Marnie ignored her and began flinging closet doors
open till she found what she'd been looking for... then adjusting
her white lambs-wool wig and grasping the lapels of her robe she turned
to face the others...
"May I respectfully submit M'lud that the defendant is the same
person who had the sole responsibility for producing and trafficking in
vast quantities of that abomination commonly called 'Sonja's Fry Bread'
The aforementioned 'bread' ...and I use the term loosely, was used to bomb
our neighbouring Avinadians during the Great Greyland war ...she not only
devastated their countryside ...but ours as well!! This weapon of mass
destruction has now been outlawed by the Greyland Convention. Therefore,
with such a past record how can we possibly justify giving her such
a light sentence?"
Sonja's eyes opened wide as she realized she was ON TRIAL!
ChapterII ...The Guilty shall be Exposed
Erica~
Erica almost jumped up and down with glee,
"Oh yes, a nice lawsuit. I'll be the really low-down lawyer, who
protects my client at every cost. hahahahaha. Here goes."
At this she swept round to face the others
in what was becoming the impromptu courtroom....the MGFans began to settle
themselves....this could be fun after all! Angela plunked herself down
only to leap up as a very grumpy chameleon just missed taking a chunk out
of her derriere. Erica tried to ignore the various rustlings as everyone
eventually settled amidst the fabrics and furbelows, she continued,
"Well Ms Marnie,
As Ms Sonja's lawyer, I point out that you
should be careful in throwing out such wild accusations when you yourself
should be taken to trial on a breach of security. By your own admission
you gave all Greylanders an account (of
which this titbit was secretly forwarded to
me by Wes Studi) of how you lost our mascot and had him returned to you
by a total stranger who could well be an informant for the Avinadians?
Question now uppermost in my mind is,
how did Wes Studi get hold of this? What do
say you? I do have to warn you, that I will use this in court.
Havoc our mascot has already received his
subpoena.
My client, has always been a loyal Greylander and was not aware of a mole in our midst when the the 'frybread' incident arose.
Ms Erica BA LLB
Lawyer of Ms Sonja"
She finished ...waited for a demi pause then launched another tirade....
Erica~
"Ms Marnie
Havoc will be taken out of your custody, till the hearing is over."
"Now just a cotton pickin'..." started Marnie but Erica ignored her ...as usual,
"You may be slammed for inciting the witness to illegal acts of defiance. I'm of opinion that our mascot is not doing this of his own free will. There will be a custody hearing to have our mascot removed from your influence. I refer you back to your stricken revelation of the entire drama."
There were murmurings and a massed nodding of heads from the gathered MG Fans ...they remembered when Marnie had blurted out how Havoc had gone walkabout ...and been returned home by, gulp, the Military Police.
"I do understand that you are not on trial, but your own mistake does not allow you to be a character witness in the case of Ms Sonja."
Marnie merely opened and closed her mouth like a stranded fish, hard to believe I know, as Erica continued to pick apart the 'evidence' against the accused,
" I have in my possesion sworn depositions that you have been noticed around some 'out of Greyland' areas....and you yourself were the perptrator in the 'friendly fire' incident! I have had the whole matter investigated. And ....AND your Mr Beach turns out to be an excellent imitation. Before you try to justify this, we have the villain in custody who has already made a full confession. I suggest you reconsider and take into account Ms Sonja's track record concerning Greyland.
Ms Erica BA LLB (see I told you)
Lawyer for Ms Sonja"
It was at this point that Tamera raised her
hand and interjected ..
"...er ...er ...excuse me ...I missed 'Geronimo'
too...I just thought I should let you know ...." her voice faded away as
Marnie's face swung to hers. If expressions were to be read hers
would plainly state ". ...ah ...another victim!"
ChapterIII... Another Defendant
Erica~
"So Tamera, you may find yourself co-accused
along with Sonja. I'm representing her in the court battle.
You may employ my services if you like."
The others twiddled their thumbs while Tamera and Erica hashed out the details
-Tamera~
"I did miss Geronimo and never have seen Charmed,
Skipped Parts, Hero etc. (But do know who my hero is). Guess I had better
have some representing but only if you are cheap!"
Erica~
"Hmmm ...You may be pardoned for missing Geronimo,
as it was on an obscure channel, but you may be hammered for missing
Charmed etc. It has to be MG who is your hero, or you may be found
in contempt. I have decided to take Sonja and you on at no
cost. However, I'll need some points on how loyal you are to Greyland."
The MGFans leaned in closely as Tamera outlined her fealty to the Hi-G...
Tamera~
"I have SWCH taped on two different video
tapes just in case something happens to one. I've watched it so many times
my kids laugh when I put it in and say 'Mom's watching her favourite movie
again', 'Mom you must have watched this a 100 times'. (which is probably
true) Still drool and squirm every time I watch it. Also have
taped Magnificent Seven episodes, Lost Child, Crazy Horse, Firestorm."
She glanced around ...she could tell she was
wining the courtroom over,
"I purchased 'Geronimo' but did not realize
there were two different versions", there was an outraged gasp at this,
"...until January when I saw 1/2 the movie which Michael played in. I would
have taped it had I known there were 2 different 'Geronimo's'. I
watched the Wes Studi version over and over again and thought you were
all nuts saying Michael was in it. Now I know he is in ANOTHER version
of 'Geronimo' (the Ryan Black version) ....but STILL think you are all
nuts." Tamera finally realized that the MGFans were not quite so friendly
anymore, ..."hey, I'm kidding....and just to prove how loyal I am ...why
when visiting South Dakota last year I went to the Wild Horse Sanctuary
where parts of Crazy horse were filmed. Remember the scene where he has
his vision? Well my kids & girlfriend thought I had really lost it
when I had to sit down in the same spot he had laid. Good thing my husband
had already gone to the vehicle.
A-a-and I have a picture here in my office
and am asked who is that? Everyone knows it's not my husband. I always
say it's my boyfriend he just doesn't know it yet."She looked around,
"How am I doing so far? Haven't voted lately
because every time I try it tells me I have the wrong password. Still representing
me?"she queried of Erica
Erica~
Erica replied,"Tamera, with this track record,
you are as good as cleared," she glanced over at the still fuming Marnie,"but,
I am expecting some onslaught, so I'll represent you."
It was at this point, just as everyone looked fairly impressed at Tamera's credentials, that Sonja finally woke up to the severity of her situation
Sonja~
"OMGOSH!!" She gulped, " I've been on trial
for at least 10 .... minutes .... and I didn't even know it!!!"
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The accused, Sonja, wiped noodles from her
eyes, and pulling a particularly sticky piece of linguini out of her hair,
prepared to speak.......her lawyer Ms Erica knocked her back into her seat,
knowing that if she allowed Sonja to
open her mouth she would only entrench herself
so deeply into this guilt-ridden quagmire that even a famous and learned
Greyland lawyer like Ms Erica herself would have difficulty extricating
her!
As an aside to Tamera, Sonja whispered,"Tamera, glad you're in this with me.....that's quite an impressive 'MG portfolio' " and grinned then turned to face her accuser...Marnie,
"Hmmmm.....I did WONDER about the 'missing Havoc' episode!! Good thinking, Erica!!!!"
Erica bowed smugly, Sonja continued with a
quizzical expression,"The mention of Adam Beach should get Mariel out of
the woodwork..........come to think of it...where IS Mariel???!!!!Hmmmm......and
more importantly, where's ADAM???!!"
Marnie~
"I shouldn't be worrying about Mariel
if I were you", spat Marnie, "You're on trial for your LIFE!!!...or at
least the confiscation of your entire MG library including a lifetime ban
on watching "Stolen Women Captured Hearts" ever again!!" The MG fans gasped!
ChapterIV... Trial By Jury
Marnie took in, with a weather-eye, the growing
number of defendants ...first Sonja, then Tamera ...a midnight raid on
Mooseheart Manor had found Lauren pouring over a secret cache of
Nof 60 tapes (but only the Nathaniel
Arcand episodes). What were the Greylanders
coming to? ...was she the only one who truly appreciated MG in ALL his
roles? She cleared her throat as jury selection was about to begin....
"Name?"
"You know my name, Marnie...I'm your sister!!!"
said the large, scaled "pseudo-water-dragon" that was squeezing itself
into the jury box.
Marnie glared...dash it ...did no-one take
her seriously? ...Well, THEY'D learn!!!
"Ok, Ok" the water monster continued, "Name
~ Nessie, residence ~ Full Fathom Five Aptmt. Buildings, Loch Lurker, Hero
Province"
"...so Ms. Nessie ...are you an ardent MG
Fan?"
"Oh yes ...I've watched 'Crazy Horse" ...and
"Stolen Women" ...and ...and ...er, um...."
"Dance Me Outside?" queried Marnie helpfully.
Nessie froze and she answered very carefully
..."Well, I tried to ....but the copy I had was so fuzzy ...and it
kept going all green ...and it was so dark..." she came to a halt, swallowing
nervously. Marnie smiled in a predatory way, "You mean, even though
it was difficult to view you gave up? ...Didn't press your nose to
the TV screen?...or just listen to the sound track?......"
Nessie shook her head in the negative.
"AHA!!!!" Marnie, swung round to the Judge...
a bead of spittle forming at the corner of her mouth, a zealous look
in her eye..."Your honour, I object to this juror ... and in light of her
OWN shortcomings in missing an opportunity to
watch our "Hi-Greylander" I suggest she be
directed to join the other defendants!!!"
"So be it," intoned His Worship ...and Nessie,
blinking with bemusement, waddled to join the others in the now very cramped
dock....
Suddenly ...out of thin air Mariel's
voice could be heard (always freaky when she used this particular accomplishment)....she'd
been listening to the Gala only to discover that there was trouble
afoot in Greyland and so wanted to leap to the defence of her dear South
African Queen...
mariel~
"Dearest SAQ," she gabbled," I have been relaxing
at Adam Beach (just call me Ms. Beach Bum!!) So sorry to hear of
your trial! I wanted to get away and be a character witness...but
I'm stuck at the....er...Beach! Anyhoo...I would try and get away,
so sorry Adam, and testify on your behalf....gee, maybe it is better this
way...that way I don't say anything to get you in trouble! But I will be
away from Greyland for the next week. By this time, I expect your trial
to be over, with you being innocent of course! But if it DOES go
the other way and you DO go to jail, then I will of course send you a cake
with a file filling!!!
Thinking of you, Brightest Blessings, Mariel"
and just before the reception cut out she could still be heard...."Adam,
dear, you missed a spot with that sunscreen lotion...here let me help......."
Chapter V ......The Guilty shall be Exposed...a Twist
Sonja~
Standing in the dock at this point.......Sonja,
Tamera, Lauren, Nessie, .........and MARIEL.....(for spending too much
time on Adam Beach, instead of concentrating on Greyland affairs!)
Jami too was now in the dock ...having left MG (or a close facsimile) in
a snowbank several months back ...how could she have done such a thing?
(I think perhaps it was writer's block, teehee!) Sonja clutched
hard to her breast her full MG collection, keeping it well away from Marnie's
grasp! Whenever Marnie looked in her direction Sonja squidged her eyes
up, crinkled her nose, and bared her teeth and looked pointedly at
the upper, fleshy part of Marnie's arm......Marnie got the picture and
shivered as she remembered Sonja's cannibalistic tendencies back in the
Sahara desert!
Jami~
Jami shoved her way past Nessie ...no easy
task,
"In my defense....how do any of you know that
I left anyone in a snow drift?? Perhaps, I have not told you what happened....hee
hee." she chuckled. "Perhaps I ended up sitting by the fire with our hero
sipping tea and tending to his every desire!" This did not necessarily
go over well...if anyone was going to have tea with or tend to the Hi-G's
every desire ...well...all other Greylanders wanted details!!!
Mariel~
Mariel then took her turn, "**RATS**
I can't believe I am on trial...I try to be involved with Greyland affairs!
IN FACT...I just happened to be showing Adam the new MG bikini I
made *make..me..a..war-bikini* AND I vote whenever I am online!
I watch DMO, and SWCH on a regular basis!! I also have Lost Bird
and various other MG titbits that I drool over...besides, no one should
be involved in any MG affairs - he is after all a married man!!!"*giggle*
Her giggles failed to impress the judge.
Nessie~
Nessie huddled close to Sonja, well, as close
as an oversize sea monster can get,"EEK! Sonja you aren't the only
one to not realize you were on trial, and I was only there for the Jury
selection! Its amazing what you can do in Monster form."
Sonja patted her soothingly ....but its' doubtful
Nessie could feel anything...her hides as tough as old boot leather. Nessie
turned toward the bench and laid out her case,
"In my defence your honour I watched the Minion,
well ok, only the bits with Michael, but I watched it! I've seen
the appropriate bits of 'True Women' and drooled at 'Tarantula' like the
best of you!"
There were a lot of knowing smirks showing,
"I think the amount of hot flushes I've endured at the sight of MG should
be taken into account. All those of us now in the dock have learned
our lesson and we swear to watch MG at least once a day for the next two
weeks. Now what can be fairer than that? It is going to be a severe
trial for us all, especially those of us without videos!" then declared
herself, " Nessie the innocent"
Marnie~
Marnie once again glared toward the dock ...Nessies'
plea fell on deaf ears (as it normally did whenever her sister had anything
to say, so that was pretty much normal!) She still couldn't believe how
the dock was filling up with miscreants, she had expected as much from
Sonja, Nessie, Lauren and Mariel ...but was shocked that the newcomer 
Tamera
had fallen in with such a bad lot. Lin was there too ...she had been so
taken with the idea of a Star Trek convention in Greyland that she now
spent most of her time dressed as a Klingon ...and till MG appears
IN Star Trek that is just not on!!! Evan Adams was also in the dock,
to her surprise, having been arrested on the testimony of a slightly hysterical
'informant'. Now Evan, while technically NOT a Greylander ... could lay
claim to being an MG Fan ...after all he HAD called him "the incredibly
sexy Michael Greyeyes". As far as Marnie was concerned that brought him
under the jurisdiction of the court ...and, notwithstanding The ICE magazine
he had clutched in his arms, he had been a bit too 'pally' with Clint Star
when he was on "Buffalo Tracks" the previous week ....his loyalties were
obviously questionable, therefore!!
Marnie drew herself up self-righteously, took
a deep breath and addressed the bench,
"Judge Judi ...ack, gulp...I mean, Judge Studi...,"
Marnie babbled then tried to regain her composure as she was transfixed
by a dark-eyed gimlet stare. The Judge, tilting his head slightly, reached
out his hand and beckoned her closer. Marnie thought about it ...go closer
as requested, or stay where she was and risk contempt ...and one really
did NOT want to insult this Judge, (he was known to rip the hearts out
of his Courtroom antagonists ...only figuratively, of course!) Marnie,
definitely on the defensive, felt as if she were standing on a precipice!
.....(yet again).....
Chapter VI ....The Crucible
"...And I saw Goody Sonja and Goody Lauren,
both dancing in the woods, and they were watching Nathanial Arcand No60
eps together!! And Goody Mariel was there too and she had in her hand a
picture of Adam beach! And while I
watched, Goody Nessie appeared clutching a
life-size cardboard cut-out of.....of.....a big-nosed dude who appears
in 'The Highlander'! They all danced together in the woods in the moonlight
and Goody Tamera ran around and around laughing and screaming and singing
a song about Geronimo!
Goody Tina tried to watch the Nof60 eps with
Goody Sonja and Goody Lauren, but they pushed her away told her to get
her own Tom Jackson pictures! I was horribly afeared! But that's not all!
Soon another joined them, and I saw that it was Master Evan Adams, and
HE carried in his arms.........the most sought-after cover of ICE magazine!!!......"
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ChapterVII .....The Guilty shall be Exposed ....becoming even more
twisted
Standing in the dock at this point.......Mariel...for spending too much time on Adam Beach, instead of concentrating on Greyland affairs, along with Sonja, Nessie, Lauren, Tina, Tamera, Jami and many, many more ....but most surprisingly .......ERICA
Sonja~
"But your honour!!" Gasped Erica in horror,
"I-I-I am not on trial here!......You must all understand that....."
"Silence!" Judge Studi's gavel hit wood with
a solid whack, and Erica's feet left the ground for a brief second, as
the shock wave coursed through her body.
"This latest piece of evidence cannot be ignored"
He continued. All the Greylanders stared at Erica, wondering what horrible
crime had been revealed THIS time.
"It is not enough, Councillor, that you spend
more time on your........Formula One websites when you should be interacting
on the MGfanslist.......but it says here that you........." The judges
face appeared to cloud over, and he cleared his throat several times, "....TAPED
OVER YOUR COPY OF GERONIMO???"
All of Greyland gasped! And a few started tittering
behind their hands, "...Erica?....who would have thought...."
Erica tried to defend herself. "If it please
your honour," she spoke barely above a whisper, and her voice cracked,
"tomorrow is.....is...... my birthday, and I beg leniency, sir!!"
"Actually..." began Judge Studi, (and all Greyland tried unsuccessfully to read any emotion passing over that famous stoic face), "...since it was not MY version of this film, I have absolutely no problem with your taping over it!" The gavel hit wood again, and the court jumped. "A total pardon to Erica!"
The court erupted in an uproar. How dare he, (not even a Greylander himself!) free Erica after so heinous a crime! Angry Greylanders stormed the bench. The gaggle in the 'accused' dock jumped the banisters like Hockey players let out of the penalty box, and roared toward the Judge. The poor man hardly had time to comprehend what was happening. By the time he had his wits about him his torn gown was all that bore testimony to his once elevated Judicial position, as he found himself traversing directly back to Studonia.
Which left the Greylander's without a judge presiding in this case!
Who would take on such an important and dangerous task?...............
Chapter VII ....The Thot Plickens
Marnie~
Marnie gave a sigh of relief ...for a moment
she had thought that Judge Studi was going to have her guts for garters.
It was only her nimble insinuations (and well, ok ...the crumpled piece
of paper sent to her by Sonja from the dock might have had something to
do with it) about Erica and her act of ...well...almost sacrilege, certainly
treason...that had distracted the ire of the Judge from herself. Even the
Honourable Wes, (though far too forgiving), was a little shocked
by Erica's behaviour. Now the melee had quietened ...everyone seemed pleased
with themselves and all appeared to be on the point of departure. Sonja
was smiling in a self congratulatory way ...and talking of heading to "Jami's
Meatloaf Palace" for a pick-me-up.
"Hold it right there!!!!" Marnie bellowed.
Everyone froze. The chocolate chip cookie that Mary had been munching on
fell to the floor as her jaw dropped.
"...this is still a serious situation ...so
no-one move!!" Spittle flew from the corner of her mouth...wild eyed, she
continued, "You think this is all over ...HUH? You think you've all got
a-a-a-way with it....Y-Y-YOU'VE all been s-s-sslacking OFF!!" She stammered
on, her face becoming purple and mottled.
"Jeez, take a pill..." Sam muttered.
"She hasn't got her patties on, we could rush
her ....," mumbled Jami.
"QUIET!!!", Marnie roared, her hair whipping
around her face as she swung, to look at each Greylander, in a frenzy,
" ....how many of you turned up for Sat Chat ...huh? huh? ....How many
of you actually read the "Monthly Reminders", eh!!?"
The congregation shuffled their feet ...a
few ..a very few looked discomfited. Then... "Er...well...actually, I do
..," a small voice was heard from the back ...and Marnie could just see
a diminutive hand waving in the air from behind the throng, "...and I WAS
there for Sat Chat, Marnie ...don't you remember ...you were on about Speedos
again....", this as the puzzled crowd parted to reveal ...Ruth.
"Oh," the wind was quite taken out of Marnie's
sails,"...um ...OK then...you are acceptable as a juror...BUT..."
and she swung back to the others, "The rest of you ...you are all, ALL
under arrest!!!!...."
"Um, Marn" grinned Sonja...very cheekily too,
I might add, "... don't you think you have a bit of a problem ....only
one juror and no judge?.." All the Greylanders were nudging and winking
at each other and stifling their giggles.
"That's what you think ......I'm demanding
a change of venue ....we're heading for Greeneland!!!!"
Chapter IX ....Crime and Punishment
Sonja~
For once the Greylanders found themselves
in complete silence. (This does not happen too often, so enjoy it!).
They
just sat.......and stared at the walls, the ceiling, each other...wondering
what to do next.
Erica tried to say something but Angela shushed
her up. Jamie pricked her ears too.
"Can anyone else hear that?"
Havoc looked alert, stood up and started wagging
his tail, and looked intently at the courtroom doors.
"You know," said Lauren, "Someone must have
put a movie in the VCR. I can hear music."
Everyone listened intently.
"You're right!" Said Mary."But.....it isn't
one of the Hi-Greylander's! It....it SOUNDS like 'Dances with Wolves'!!"
Everyone gasped, and stared intently at the
doorway, listening to the DWW theme as it wafted into the court room.
Slowly the doors opened. The Greylander's
craned their necks to see who, or what, would enter.
Dignified and serene, the one and only Graham
Greene walked regally through the door, dressed in (no, not buckskin!),
full Judicial garb and carrying a gavel. He made his way to the bench.
Slowly he looked around at the motley crew
in the court room. He cleared his throat.............and with a slam of
the gavel against the bench he announced in a deep voice: "You are ALL
pardoned........(a wave of relief flooded over all the Greylander's in
the dock).........EXCEPT.....(and he extended an arm and pointed a finger
at.......Sonja and Marnie) .....THOSE TWO!
The whole courtroom gasped, and the judge continued. "The two trouble-makers extraordinaire!" He announced. "The two most politically incorrect, most irreverent, most tactless, irresponsible, just plain SILLY people in Greyland! You are all free to go, while I contemplate on a fitting punishment for our two scandalous offenders!"
"Wha......?!!" Exclaimed Marnie. "But, but,
you CAN'T arrest us!....... We CREATED Greyland!!" (Sonja's jaw hung to
her knees and she tried to nod in agreement as Marnie continued). "We ARE
Greyland for goodness sake!!....."
Marnie nudged Sonja with her elbow. "Hey!
C'mon Sonja.......SAY something!!"
"Duh.......uh......ow!" Was all Sonja could
get out of her mouth.
The two stood in shocked silence, while the
Greyland citizens in the courtroom started to mutter amongst themselves.
"Come to think of it," Said Jami, "Every time
we get into trouble....WHO is in the middle of it all?
"Hah!" Exclaimed Mary, "Middle? No...more
like the START of the trouble!"
"You know, you're right!" Added Rachel.
There was a rustle of 'Hush's' as Judge Greene
cleared his throat again.
"It is agreed then. Sonja and Marnie, for
the crimes committed against Greyland, you shall both be sentenced to life......",
there was an audible gasp from the room, "....to a life of selflessly and
persistently working your every waking hour for the betterment of Greyland."
There were whispers from the floor, "Hmm,
sounds fair" murmured Lauren.
"He's a reasonable judge" muttered Angela.
"Too right" added the Aussie, Krichelle
The judge continued with the sentencing. "You
are to be taken from this place and confined to the newly built 'Greyland
National Gallery' in Greyeagle Province, where you shall work out the rest
of your days in pursuits beneficial to Greyland, and you shall dedicate
your lives to protecting the national treasures of Greyland. I have spoken!"
And once again the gavel hit the bench with
a resounding whack, that caused both Marnie and Sonja to jump at least
two feet into the air.
"But wait!" Shouted the judge as if he were
suddenly caught by an afterthought. "I have one further judgement to place
on these two!"
Once again absolute silence filled the courtroom,
as everyone waited with bated breath...........
Is this the end for our two intrepid creative
spirits? Shall they be stuck in the darkest reaches of the Greyland National
Gallery hunched over canvas and parchment for the rest of their days? But
would it REALLY be that
bad? After all, they get to stare at pictures
of the Hi-Greylander....his physique, face, and long flowing wavy locks,
for the rest of their lives. Is this not every Greylander's dream?
And what of Mariel and Angela? Well what of them.......they've deserted ranks and headed off for a vacation on Grant Island! Have they packed everything........EVERYthing?! After all, Angela IS the keeper of the Royal Hair and Lips! What dastardly affairs could transpire while they are gone?
Chapter X .....D-Day ...De-Locked or the Unkindest Cut of all!
Marnie and Sonja~
............But wait!" Shouted the judge as
if he were suddenly caught by an afterthought. "I have one further judgement
to place on these two!"
Once again absolute silence filled the courtroom,
as everyone waited with bated breath...........
Slowly The Honourable Judge Greene reached
behind him and drew forward a small canvas. He held it high above his head,
triumphantly showing it to all corners of the court room.
A gasp was heard from one side of the room,
a moan from the other, somewhere in the middle a body hit the floor with
a thump as someone collapsed, another shrieked.......
It was a picture of the Hi-Greylander.....with
REALLY SHORT HAIR!
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Marnie and Sonja sunk to the floor. They had
been found out! Caught red-handed!
The Judge looked down upon them both with
disdain. "YOU did this, did you not? YOU painted this picture. The Hi-Greylander
with short hair! This is TREASON!"
The other Greylander's started chanting, getting
louder and louder, "Treason! Treason! Treason!", till Judge Greene's gavel
once again hit the bench, and there was silence.
"P-please, you honour." Sonja grovelled. "I
can explain!"
"Actually, it was my fault!" Marnie tried
to interject, but Sonja bull-dozed on.
"You see..... Marnie and I, well we... we
um......we kind of got to wondering one day, what the Hi-Greylander would
look like with short hair, and Marnie wanted to paint a portrait of him
like that....with short hair.
So, when Angela went off on vacation, we found
she had left the scissors behind.....you know....as Keeper of the Royal
Hair and Lips she is the only person allowed a pair of scissors in Greyland.
Well we felt we wouldn't have another chance......"
Marnie launched in at this point, deciding
they might as well go for broke and confess all. "We snuck into the Manor
tv room, and found the Hi-Greylander fast asleep with the tv blaring. Well,
he was exhausted from the boot-camp he'd undergone in preparation for his
military role in that tv series."
Marnie paused to take a breath here. Everyone
in the room was hanging on her every word, hoping against hope she was
not going to say what they THOUGHT she was going to say. It was too horrible
to contemplate! But Marnie bravely spoke on.....
"Well we....I don't know WHAT we were thinking,
but we...ya know......we.....*cough*.....we..umm........CUT his hair off!"
Shrieks of "NOooooooo!" permeated through the
court, and it took Judge Greene several minutes to resume order with his
gavel. While Sonja and Marnie tried to make themselves small enough to
sink through the floorboards
and disappear!
Once again an absolute shocked silence filled the courtroom, as everyone waited with bated breath...........
Judge Greene continued, "To atone for your
unending mischief making ...and in accordance with the new stricture that
no-one have hair longer than the "Hi-Greylander" I'm ordering that Sven
the Masseur cuts you both down to
size ...well your hair anyway!!' He banged
the gavel with an air of finality ...ignoring the pleas of the two wretched
souls as they were dragged away by a rather gleeful pack of Greylanders
...
Sonja wailed ..."Wait, WAIT ....don't you know
....The Hi-G's had his locks lopped MILITARY short....we can't get our
hair any shorter than that........!!!"
Later that day, the now follicly challenged
S and M were at their new posts, giving the Gallery walls a final lick
of paint. The directional lights caused a distinct glare on the newly shaved
pates making each wince...
Marnie grumbled, "YOU ...you just had to open
your mouth ...had to tell Sven that MG had a buzz cut!!! Now look at us!
...Even Havoc is laughing!!"
And it was true ...he did seem to have a rather
canine grin on his face.
Sonja stared at Marnie in amazement, "My fault
...MY fault ....you nincompoop ...if you hadn't started that darned 'witch
hunt' which got us into this mess ...I ...you ...OOOH..." and she
scooped a paint brush full of the rose paint from the 'Stolen Women Ward'
and smashed Marnie in the face with it.
Not to be outdone Marnie picked up a bucket
of lilac and threw it, with all her might, at Sonja ....who ducked but
not quickly enough ...Havoc raced out of there as fast as he could ...leaving
groups of lilac and rose paw prints and associated drag marks.
"Ow", "eeeyou", "blecch", "gerroff" the two
sprawled on the floor giving a pretty good impression of a colourful mud
wrestling competition.
"Cough," "Ahem", "Harrumph," there echoed
the sounds of various throats clearing.
Marnie and Sonja wiped paint from their eyes
and, while not removing their fists from their strangle holds on each others
clothing, they did pause long enough to glance at the intruders. It was
the other Greylanders .....each and every one sporting the same (what we
are loosely calling) hair cut.
"Well" Jami said as M & S stayed bemusedly
silent, "If it's good enough for The Hi-G it's good enough for us."
"Yes ...solidarity and all that ...,"continued
Lauren. The other Greylander's were nodding and grinning at each other.
Mariels luxuriant hair had been shaved to reveal a birthmark on the back
of her head in the shape of nothing less than Greyland itself .....while
Angela (who was holding a bundle suspiciously and guiltily close) had a
tattoo of Tarantula hidden under her previous hairline!
"...and anyway," Mary continued, " we've decided
to start a new industry ...knitting woolly hats to keep the Hi-G's ears
warm...they're probably pretty chilly in the UK...so we've decided to practice
on ourselves first!" She produced a multi-coloured balaclava.
Marnie and Sonja ....looking somewhat abashed
...and relieved that the Greylanders were taking everything in such good
spirits, got to their feet albeit slipping and sliding ...
"Well in that case," grinned Sonja, " ....we
should open the Gallery and feast our eyes on The Hi-G ...it's the one
place he'll ALWAYS have all his hair....!!!"
"Just a minute, though" said Nancy "....shouldn't
we at least say a fond farewell, have a moments silence ....um burn
a little incense....recount our favourite moment."
They all nodded and eagerly each of the Greylander's
stepped forward in turn ...some sadly ...some with a wicked twinkle in
their eye ...and recounted a favourite moment...
Angela, "Ooh ...the scene where Anna
moves Tokalah's hair out of the way to show him if the shirt fits!! Sneaky
Tokalah with "show me" a man of few words! Oh be still my heart!"
Sonja jumped up and down excitedly .."That's
in the gallery ...that's in the gallery!"
Then Lin chimed in with "...and, how about some scenes of Gooch whipping along on his bike? Or that one great moment in Firestorm when he hops out of the copter, and flings his gorgeous locks about?....."
Marnie, never one to let any occasion
go to waste drew herself up and recited in her most serious tone...,
" "Requiem for the Raven Locks" ...or "The
Unkindest Cut of all"....ahem...."
"The Hi-G is so talented and self-effacing
(and this part in SC could be called bracing)
Yet he surrendered all for his art
and when asked, "How he found his part?"
he replied "The experience was quite
hair-erasing!!!!".
There was a chorus of groans ...and "someone stuff that paint rag in her mouth" ...and .."you're ruining some beautiful moments ...."
Each Greylander, totally ignoring Marnie's
attempt at lightening the mood, reminisced on their favourite scenes ....
becoming sadder and sadder till there was not a dry eye in the ...gallery.
After a good fifteen minutes of tearful reverie
Sam remarked in a puzzled way ..."I don't know why we're all so maudlin
...heck it'll grow again ...and besides THIS is Greyland ...it'll grow
as soon as we step on The WTS.!!"
...and so it would, but in the meantime Sonja
and Marnie finished phase one of their task (if not the clean up) and stepped
back to declare the Greyland
Gallery OPEN
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