| . |
Sonja started us off on our new adventure...
"Return to Oz"
"Sonja's trip
back home."
CHAPTER 1
It was winter in Greyland. Snow covered even the
warm temperate southern regions of Imala and Juh Provinces. The excitement
of the late Christmas was over, and everyone was wondering, "So, what next?"
Mary and Snow were sharing a quiet evening's visit, catching up
on some old videos of the Hi-Greylander, when a hum filled the air above
their cosy home.
"What's that?" Asked Snow. "Turn off the VCR
a minute, I hear something!"
Light flooded the house as both Snow and Mary
realized that hovering above them was the Wee Tartan Spaceship, shimmering
resplendently after yet another refurbishment.
"Hey, Adventure time!" Yelled Mary with a grin.
And they both charged outside, hardly bothering to close the door behind
them, as they scrambled to get on board.
"Anybody know where we're going?" Asked a somewhat confused Mariel,
as she lounged in her luxury seat, enjoying the ministrations of one of
the hunky crew. She'd not been well lately and hadn't had the strength
to read the Greyland Gazette each day, so was not 'up' on the latest Greyland
gossip.
"I'd hazard a guess!" Said Tina triumphantly.
"The Land of 'Oz'!!" And she sipped her mint julep and took an olive out
of the bowl held in the hands of the ever attentive Sven
"As in 'The Wizard of..'?" Mariel said and sat
up with sudden interest.
"No!!" Said Chris, interrupting before Tina could
answer. "Oz, as in AUSTRALIA! The Lord High Keeper of the Votes won the
Greyland lottery (I STILL say it was rigged!!), and decided to take her
new assistant, Krichelle, off to the sunny beaches of Australia."
"Yeah!" Added Caralynn, prostrate on her seat
as she enjoyed a foot rub. "I was wondering how long it would take her
to start feeling 'guilty' about leaving the rest of us behind!!"
And so the happy bevy of ' Greyland beauties' chatted and gossiped,
munched away at delicacies served by the Goochmobile's gorgeous crew, and
hardly noticed the time pass as the WTS zoomed them off toward the Land
of Oz!
"Turn up that aircon!" Yelled Marnie into the intercom to the bridge.
"We're sweltering in here!"
Chris started fanning herself, then started to strip off layers
of clothing while Erica, afraid Chris would embarrass herself, tried desperately
to grab the discarded items of clothes and cover what she thought was Chris'
soon to be naked body, till she saw, with great relief, the red flannel
long johns and underwear.
"What's WITH this crew these days!" Muttered Marnie, and was just
about to storm off to the bridge to complain, when a shudder went through
the ship.
Suddenly a horn started blaring, lights flashed, and the Goochmobile
gave another shudder.
"Oh Lor' " Yelled Nessie. "We're going down again!"
"Brace yourselves!!!" Tina managed to scream
as the poor stricken WTS's nose gracefully sunk earthward.
In a well hidden cavernous hole in a large red rock face in central
Australia, a grunt was heard. Another answered. A large shiny armoured
spoke slowly retracted back into the dark innards of the rock, where sinister
shapes rustled, shifted, and grunted in the murky light............
CHAPTER 2
The acrid smell of burning rubber reached Nancy and made her choke
as she slowly regained consciousness and looked around her. Everything
was hazy, her head hurt, and smoke billowed from the ship's main console.
She glanced at Marnie and realized what the smell was.
"Marnie! Wake up!" She yelled as she scrambled
through the wreckage towards the WTS's famous pilot.
"Your hair's on fire, Marnie! Wake up!!!!"
Marnie started to moan and rouse herself just
as Nancy bravely smothered the flaming locks with Angela's chiffon cape.
"Aaargh!" Exclaimed Angela. "My cape!! I paid
G30-99 for this, and Lisa tells me it is a one-off original!!!"
"Chill", said Mariel, "we couldn't have poor
Marnie's hair burned off, could we?" She found her medical bag and started
examining Greyland's super-hero, who didn't look too much like a super-hero
in her present state.
"Well I for one am glad I decided to leave the
Minpins at HOME for this trip!" Exclaimed Nancy; and Jami and the other's
who had pets safely left behind, agreed with her.
"Everyone OK?" Said our Tina, sounding a little bored. The others
glanced at her, a little concerned at her apparent relaxed state.
"Well I've been in enough of these crashes by
now, they just don't phase me anymore, OK!" She said, indignantly.
'Um, guys," Interrupted Mariel, "I'm kinda worried
about Marnie."
"Oh NO!" Shrieked Snow. "Is she badly hurt?"
Lauren, who had her pocket calculator out and
was doing a head count, stopped punching in numbers, and looked at Marnie
carefully. "Give it to us straight, Mariel!" She took a deep breath. "We
can take it!"
"Well I don't know," Mariel began, "Just....... LOOK at her!"
Marnie sat, eyes wide open, staring straight
ahead of her. She didn't move a muscle. Mariel snapped her fingers in front
of the pilot's eyes a few times, but Marnie did not so much as blink.
"Oh my Gosh!!!" Screamed Rachel. "She's DEAD!!!!!!"
"NO, No!" Mariel quickly interjected. "She's
breathing OK, heart's pumping fine for someone who has just been through
what we've been through, no signs of physical trauma bar a few bumps and
bruises. But, there's SOMETHING wrong."
Everyone had gathered around Mariel and Marnie,
and now they stood silent, staring, wondering what to do about poor Marnie.
Eventually it was Mary who broke the silence.
"Gee, pity we don't have Marnie's Super-Marnie suit here, ey? Or at least
her hamburger patties!" All knew that the Super-Marnie suit was back in
Hero Province, safely ensconced in Marnie's freezer.
"We COULD..." announced Sam, in a pronounced
stage whisper,"...get that locket she wears around her neck and open it!
There might be something in there that could help!"
"SAM!" Said Gin. "You KNOW no one but Marnie
sees inside that locket! And I for one am NOT going to sneak a peak while
she is ‘out of it!’ "
"Oh alright," Said Sam, obviously more disappointed
than chastised, "you're a spoil-sport though!"
Gin decided to ignore her remark and said "Pity
we don't have HAVOC with us. He'd know how to snap her out of this!"
As Gin mentioned the word 'Havoc', Marnie stirred, and seemed to
try to speak.
Nessie leaned in towards her sister and put on
that patronizing voice people use when speaking to the simple-minded. "What
is it Marn, what do you want to say?!"
Marnie slowly raised her eyes toward Nessie,
who continued to look at her with concern and affection.
Everyone waited with bated breath to hear what Marnie's first words
would be. The seconds ticked by, and then Marnie seemed to take a deep,
pained breath, opened her mouth, and said:
"I'm going to KILL SONJA!!!!!!!"
As soon as the words were out of her mouth she
jumped up, body taught as a spring, and face in an ugly scowl, and started
ranting and raving like a lunatic.
Those around her scattered to escape her arms
that were swinging dangerously in every direction, as if she were fighting
her way bare-handed through an enemy army.
"Oh dear!" Said Lisa, "She's having a 'flashback'
to the voting war!"
"Nah," Sighed Nessie, "She's just mad at Sonja
for writing another WTS crash into her story."
Presently Marnie calmed somewhat, but although she stopped slugging
the air, her eyes were wide and wild, and she was now muttering under her
breath:
"... smashed up again....... what does
she think she's doing........ so much work..... can't take any more....
all ruined.... get her..... oh yes...hehehehehe....messed up again.....
no more letters in the alphabet alright...... hmmm....so enjoyed 'D'....aaaaaaagh!!!.....
no 'E'... no, cant have an 'E'..... I'll show her.....".
Everyone looked expectantly at Mariel.
Mariel looked back, realizing that since she was the
‘doctor’, she was expected to know what to do. She searched around in her
mind for an answer. She hadn't renewed her 'Reverse Dementia Spell' license,
so knew it would be hopeless trying the 'supernatural' in this case.
Finally she said, "Well......there's not much
we can do, I'm afraid. The condition MAY pass in a few hours, then again,
it may last a few days, OR our poor Marnie could be like this INDEFINITELY!"
Everyone gasped. "The main thing now is to prevent her from hurting herself.
She should be fairly harmless in this phase. Well take turns to watch her
carefully, and make sure she doesn't inadvertently do herself a damage.
I'll take the first watch."
Everyone was satisfied with that, and attention immediately turned
to Gin, whom everyone looked upon as their 'leader'.
"So, where ARE we, do you think." Shannela asked
Gin pointedly.
"Gee, I dunno!" Gin looked surprised. "How am
I supposed to know?!"
Erica, however, had done a few calculations of
her own and piped up:
"I estimate we are somewhere over central Australia.
Could be Alice Springs, or somewhere near there."
"Ah, Alice Springs. CIVILIZATION!" Shouted Cuqui!
"I've never BEEN to Alice Springs! Do you think they have Merengue clubs
there, or at least somewhere we can dance?"
Tina looked at Cuqui in amazement. "Cuqui dear,
we're in the Outback, the middle of NOWHERE! And you want to dance the
Merengue??!!!"
Cuqui looked chastised and sad, and Tina was
immediately sorry she had been so harsh on her.
"Shhhhh, everyone!" Jami gasped. "I hear something....!"
It took everyone a while to shut up and for silence
to fill the ship. But when they were finally quiet, they all heard it.
The sound of metal screaming as if it was being bent and torn! The outer
shell of the WTS was being compromised! How, and by what? The sounds rasped
through the ship. What force could do this to the ship's titanium alloy
skin? A chilly fear raced up each backbone, as everyone froze in terror!
Meanwhile, back in Sydney…
Sonja and Krichelle fought the immense tiredness that was overtaking
them. They both lay prostrate, propped up on the two huge stuffed sofa's
in the lounge of the luxury suite in their hotel. An empty bottle of Champagne
leaned in its ice bucket, the ice having long ago melted. The remnants
of a gourmet meal of seafood for Sonja, and Scalloped fillet with all the
trimmings for Krichelle, overflowed from the table and onto the sofas.
In short, they had both eaten too much, were a little inebriated, and somewhat
sleepy from their day in the heat of the beach.
Earlier on they had decided, in order to stay
awake while awaiting the arrival of their fellow Greylanders, they would
pop some of the Hi-Greylander's greatest performances into the VCR, but
at this stage not even the sight of their intrepid Head of State in his
moving portrayal of Crazy Horse, could keep the two from nodding off.
Krichelle glanced across at Sonja and watched
her head loll down to her chest, then suddenly jerk up, eyes drooping again
as she tried to focus on the screen. Sonja glanced across at Krichelle,
who was having just as much difficulty staying awake.
"Uh, this is terrible!" Announced Sonja. "We
can't even stay awake during Crazy Horse!! Where ARE those idiots!!"
"Got an idea." Mumbled Krichelle. "Hotel swimming
pool, lets go!"
The two struggled up off the sofa, grabbed towels
and headed out into the moonlight for a midnight
swim.
"Hmmfff! The things we do for that thankless
bunch of wenches!!!" Muttered Sonja
The 'thankless bunch of wenches' were in fact at that very moment
in the most dire of circumstances. Had Sonja but known in what predicament
they had all found themselves, she most certainly would have been more
compassionate in her choice of descriptive phrases!
Marnie continued in answer to the question “What force could
do this to the ship's titanium alloy skin?” ....
CHAPTER 3
….the inner wall of the bridge folded back as if it were a sheet
of paper …and not the re-enforced metal that was the product of Mariel’s
strange alchemy's! A pair of furred ears slowly poked through the opening…
”G’day, all!” a jocular voice declared. Nessie shrieked, Tina leapt
into Sam’s arms and Marnie …confronted by one of the strangest sights she’d
ever seen (actually …pretty much par for the course for a veteran Greylander)
snapped out of her state of shock, grabbed one of the purely decorative
Claymore’s on the wall and prepared to have at ….the seven foot mutant
Kangaroo that was easing it’s way on to the bridge!
“Well this is a fair dinkum set up ….thought you Sheilas might
need a bit of help when I saw you drop in!!” said the marsupial wearing
the Kanga motif clothing.
“Hold it right there,” said Marnie finally directing the pointy
end of the Claymore in the correct direction, “…what did you do to my ship
…it was just fine till we passed over this rock outcrop …admit it …you’re
some weirdo Australian Defence organization.”
“Oh quit it, Marnie,’ Lauren interjected, “am I the only one to
have seen “Tank Girl” ….mutant Kangaroos are the good guys!! Sheesh,
it’s always some military plot with you!!”
Chagrined, Marnie lowered the weapon and the rest of the Greylanders
looked abashed also, only to break out in a series of shrieks as the console
of the WTS erupted in a shower of sparks.
“C’mon” said the kangaroo, “we’d better get out of here,” and grabbed
Tina from Sam’s aching arms and slung her through the rip in the WTS’ skin.
Several hours later, ensconced in a cavern and after a supper of
witchetty grubs and scorpions, Jami, Shannela and Lisa ( having colour
co-ordinated her available clothing to the surroundings) felt relaxed
enough to consider what had gone wrong with the Goochmobile this time.
“It’s not that I don’t trust Marnie,’ said Jami as she watched Lisa
grind some red ochre to make a more than passable lip colour,” but has
anyone actually seen her mechanics certificate?”
Cuqui wandered over and joined in, “Well, whatever her qualifications
…she’s gone back to the ship to try to figure out what went wrong …perhaps
we should go after her.”
Meanwhile, Marnie was shining a torch into the bowels of the WTS’
engines …she remembered there’d been a strange vibration just before the
ship went down ……it had had a unique signature on the oscilloscope…something
she hadn’t encountered before. She found it hard to believe that the ship
had a major design flaw that could have such a catastrophic result
that hadn’t been detected before.
Suddenly, in the beam of light there was a flash of movement …and
a hint of purple silk! There was someone still on board …and not one of
the regulars, they were all accounted for …it was a stowaway!!!!!
Jami, Shannela, Cuqui and Lisa slowly teetered up (Lisa and
Shannela still insisted that spiked heels were best for rock climbing)
to the dark outline of the downed craft. Just as they got to the
summit there was a rush of movement, a flurry of arms and legs …”Get her!”
bellowed Marnie from somewhere below. The ‘fearsome foursome’ leapt into
action and amidst the sound of ripping lace and muffled curses (“gerroff!”,
“..that’s me , you twit!” ,”what the heck were those?”) they latched on
to their struggling quarry.
The other Greylanders’, alerted by the noise, came running
and it was a curious group who held their flaming torches aloft to gaze
down upon the dishevelled figure of ….Vanna Lace!!!!
“You might want to cover up a bit,” said Nancy offering her jacket
to the lady en dishabille! But Vanna merely threw back her lustrous blonde
locks and struck a pose.
“Actually, Nancy,” said Shannela by way of explanation, “it was
my clothes that got ripped …hers are meant to be like that!”
“Good grief!” Nessie muttered sotto voce, “She could put your eye
out with one of those things!”
“Quiet” Lauren declared and stood in front of Vanna…..”what’s the
meaning of this…”
“I don’t know why you guys didn’t want me along “, Vanna sulked
prettily,”…I mean, I’m not really bad ...I’m just written that way!!”
her lips formed a soft, red moue of reproach.
“Eeyuuuch”, groaned Sam.
“Don’t believe her,” wheezed Marnie as she finally staggered up
(the WTS has many decks and Marnie gets asthma when she climbs stairs!!)
“…that isn’t even the REAL Vanna Lace …she’s just a clever copy!” and reaching
forward she ripped the blonde tresses from the head of Vanna to reveal
the air pump socket!! There was a concerted gasp from the Greylanders while
the blow-up Vanna continued to pout prettily and wink knowingly at anyone
who would make eye contact!!
“I have the readout here…” Marnie declared triumphantly, " it wasn’t
my fault ….!!! There was a feed back loop resulting from the extra vibrations
caused by two masses of sufficient gravity bouncing in opposite directions,"
at this she eyed Vanna's over-ample cleavage before continuing," ….yes…we
were victims of 'terminal oscillation'!!!”
‘Sabotage…!!!gasped Tina
“You don’t mean….’ gasped Lauren
“Yes,” said Marnie looking her in the eye,”….we were ‘booby-trapped'!!!”
AAAARGH!!!!
 |
Why the WTS crashed ~
a scientific example of the incredible stress
load ...on an otherwise normal MGFans T-shirt.
Where is the real Vanna Lace ...and what are her dastardly plans
for Greyland? Will the WTS
be repaired ...or will yet another have to be rolled out of the
Loch Lurker dry docks? All these
questions and more will be answered ....sometime!
Marnie
Fortunately Sonja stepped up to answer these questions (or we might
still BE there!)
CHAPTER 4
Shocked silence filled the ship as all stood in open-mouthed amazement.
A small dart whooshed past, missing Sam by a millimetre before anyone had
a chance to see where it had come from. It hit its target with deadly accuracy
and immediately the plastic effigy of Vanna Lace started to collapse in
Marnie's arms, as the air shrieked out through the puncture.
"Aaaaargh!" Yelled Marnie. "The evidence!! Someone!
Help me save the evidence!" And she struggled and wrestled with the deflating
sections of plastic that were once a pretty good life-size piece of Vanna
Lace's 'assets'.
There was nothing to do but step back and let
Marnie finally disentangle herself from the miles of latex. She picked
herself up from the floor where she and 'Vanna' had landed, dusted herself
off and announced determinedly, "I'm gonna get to the bottom of this if
it KILLS me!!"
"Hadn't we better try to contact Sonja and Krichelle?" Said Chris,
as everyone watched Marnie frantically search through the ship, following
a computer cable that appeared to have one end attached to the Vanna doll.
"Surely they're worried about us!"
"Someone mention those two great Aussie birds?"
It was the mutant kangaroo rescuer who had joined them inside the wrecked
spaceship.
"You KNOW Sonja and Krichelle?" Said Rachel surprised.
The 7 ft Kangaroo smiled and tipped his Kangol
cap. "Well now, a gentleman never tells!"
…while back in Sydney….
"Now, now, boys! One at a time!" Giggled Sonja as she floated on
a lylo in the hotel pool. Several hunky life-guards were twirling her around
and floating her up and down the length of the pool, while she sipped champagne
and ate oysters served on the flat, tight, muscled... (oops, this is a
family rated story!!!)
Krichelle suddenly sat bolt upright on her own
lylo. "Hey, did you hear something Sonja? Sounds like the WTS's communicator!
D'you think they are trying to contact us?"
Sonja sat up for a minute and listened to the
sea, the crickets, the splash of the lifesaver dudes as they swam around
in the pool playfully pushing the two women's lylo's around.
"Nah!" She said. "Over here boys, I could do
with another oyster."
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"They aren't responding!" Said Rachel. "Perhaps the communicator
is broken too!"
"Tell ya what," replied the kangaroo, "I'll see
what I can rustle up. Don't despair ladies! I'll be back with the cavalry!"
And he bounded off into the moonlight chuckling to himself, while the mournful
sound of a didgeridoo echoed over the horizon.
"Well there's a pretty 'how do you do'!" Said
Jami as she watched him go. "Now what?"
"EUREKA!" Yelled Marnie, and everyone nearly
jumped out of their skins.
Marnie sat, the sad yet voluminous remains of the Vanna doll in
one arm, and the frayed end of a computer cable in the other. Her eyes
gleamed in triumph.
"Marnie," Whispered Nessie, "You're scaring me!"
"Oh it is all so SIMPLE!" Blazed Marnie. "Why,
it's so simple it is almost BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL! I KNOW how she did
it!"
Marnie animatedly explained (so animatedly in
fact that she accidentally slapped Mary AND Jami in the face with the frayed
end of the computer cable) to the puzzled bevy of women, how she had found
that the end of the computer cable was attached to a port that linked directly
to Greyland! When she analysed its path, she found that a subsidiary line
was trying to tap DIRECTLY into Mooseheart Manor. The user could ONLY be
Vanna Lace! Fortunately for all Greyland, while working on the Y2K problem,
Snow had installed foolproof screens on all possible gateways to the Hi-Greylander's
residence, foiling any hacker's attempts to gain entry to Greyland's special
files! But Vanna had a back-up plan! Marnie found that a small dart had
been programmed to shoot the Vanna doll should the 'impostor' be discovered,
'flattening' any evidence, so to speak. But Marnie was not to be easily
'foiled'. She may not have her Super-Marnie suit, but she still had her
mind! (Though the other's had their doubts). Feverishly Marnie then took
the only other possible path, the PRIMARY line, which, she found, led DIRECTLY
to a computer. A computer she was able to trace to an old bunker left over
from the Voting War, in a basement in Delchaney. A basement, under the
Lord High Keeper of the Vote's Mansion!
Everyone looked puzzled. "What does this MEAN?"
Said Mariel.
"Yes, SERIOUSLY!" Added Angela. "What DOES this
mean?!"
"It MEANS..." gasped Marnie exasperated," ....
that our friend VANNA LACE has infiltrated Greyland through the luxury
Mansion belonging to the Lord High Keeper of the Votes, and from there
has been trying to infiltrate Greyland's most PERSONAL FILES! She figured
she could best do this if WE were out of the way, if you know what I mean!
She sent an Oscillating beam down this cable, to her blow-up copy of herself,
causing a super-sonic vibration which messed with the WTS's gyroscope!
Voila! We CRASHED!! With us safely out of the country and out of the way,
she could carry out her plan.... TO....... TAKE THE HI-GREYLANDER HOSTAGE
AND HOLD THE ENTIRE COUNTRY RANSOM FOR......... ONE MILLION GOOCHES!!
Everyone gasped! Slowly panic started to spread amongst the loyal
citizens! The Hi-Greylander had to be warned and the entire country placed
on full alert! They needed...............SUPER-MARNIE!
"BUT...... HOW?..........."
CHAPTER 5
An eerie gust of wind swept through the dark, empty courtyards of
Mooseheart. No light showed in the windows of the usually cheery Manor.
Outside the streets were deserted and the stench of evil cavorted with
the wind through the abandoned city, and on into the lonely countryside
and forsaken towns and cities of the Provinces. Indeed, all of Greyland
seemed to hold its breath under a blanket of vile darkness.
Havoc lowered his leg and sniffed at the fire-hydrant. He had been
worried about his mistress, Marnie, and had arrived at Mooseheart earlier
that evening, only to find that something very strange was apaw.
He sniffed the air, higher up this time, and
immediately sneezed. There was a most unusual smell in the air, and his
brain oozed and sloshed around in its deepest recesses, trying to identify
the distinct and unpleasant signature the odour presented to his olfactory
glands. He had to concentrate and think awfully hard, but eventually scenes
flashed through his mind......he was chasing a small black and white creature...he
was having such fun......suddenly his mistress was hosing him down, yelling
and gagging, holding her nose, her mouth......then rubbing over-ripe tomatoes
into his fur..... eventually she was spraying something on him..... Ah
yes, that was it, the smell he now savoured was very similar to that which
his mistress had sprayed all over him the day he chased the little black
and white creature!!!
He was so excited he did somersaults all the
way across the park, and found himself once again in the Manor grounds.
One thing slowly dawned on Havoc as he trotted
around to the back yard. There was absolutely NO ONE around! When the full
realization finally struck, he sat back, suddenly pricked his ears, and
stared at the Manor's kitchen door, where ordinarily Mary would appear
with a batch of Chocolate Chip Cookies for him.
Ah, but he knew most of the Greylanders went
off in the Goochmobile to a place called Australia, and he had been left
behind. But even when his mistress and her friends flew off into the sunrise,
the Hi-Greylander and household always took good care of the Greyland Mascot!
Havoc knew he was a National treasure, and expected to be treated as such.
But tonight the Manor was deserted, cold, and chilling.
Havoc considered himself a fairly brave dog. But tonight, with everything
so strange, he somehow felt naked without his MGM cape. He sniffed the
air again, and decided that further information may be forthcoming INSIDE.
He nudged the kitchen door with his nose, and breathing a deep doggy breath,
he crept in.
The sight that reached his eyes would under normal circumstances
have sent him straight to doggy heaven! The refrigerator door hung wide
open, the contents of the larder spilled out onto the kitchen floor. Food
lay scattered everywhere - no cucumber sandwiches, but REAL food! Rack
of Lamb, crab, meatloaf, pizza. Havoc could not control the slobber and
was about to tuck into a meatloaf at this feet, when a strange intuition
urged him to ignore his baser desires, and he reluctantly padded past the
mess and entered the dining hall.
Here he stopped dead in his tracks. A half-eaten
meal lay on the table, glasses were knocked over and their contents spilled
onto the expensive carpet. Chairs were broken and scattered about, and,
horrors, the chandelier was shattered!!!
"Some party!" Exclaimed Havoc in dog-talk, and
was about to trot on to the next room, when he had a thought. What if this
had NOT been a party? This was a difficult train of thought for poor Havoc,
as he had seen too many Greyland parties to be concerned over a bit of
food-mess and a broken chandelier! But, if it HAD simply been a party,
where were the party guests NOW? Most of Greyland was in Australia, so
who would have attended the Hi-Greylander's party? Come to think of it...
where WAS the Hi-Greylander??!!!
Suddenly it all came together for Havoc, the strange worried feeling
he had been getting, the empty darkness of everything, Mooseheart Manor
being devoid of one Hi-Greylander, signs of a struggle' in the Manor.....
and then there was that SMELL! Something terrible had happened to the Hi-Greylander,
and Havoc knew the only hope was to contact..........Super-Marnie!!! Without
further ado, stopping only to snap the rack of lamb up between his teeth,
Havoc galloped back to Hero Province as fast as his four legs could carry
him!
CHAPTER 6
Lauren was somewhat irritated. She liked order, and what she saw
in front of her was quite simply chaos! The mutant Kangaroo, who by the
way told everyone his name was Bruce, had returned some evenings ago, with
several of his 'mates', all sporting a cavalier attitude, a Kangol cap,
and little else! (Well, they WERE all kangaroos!) They DID however have
plenty of supplies in sacks which bounced along behind them.
Lauren was the first to confront Bruce, wondering how
these fellas planned to fix the broken communicator. Bruce's snout broke
into a handsome lopsided smile, and he turned to the Kangaroo next to him.
"Well Bruce, tell the lady!"
The second kangaroo also smiled widely. "We don't
need ta fix no communicator, do we Bruce?" He said turning to a third kangaroo
standing a few yards away.
Lauren was still trying to figure out all the
'Bruce's', when the first kangaroo lifted his head to the wind, cupped
his paw around his snout and yelled "COOOOOOO-EEE!!"
It was a loud and piercing sound that startled
Lauren, and she tripped backwards over a piece of debris. No sooner had
she sat herself up, than a another yell was heard out on the horizon -
"COOOOOO-EEE!"
The echo continued on further and further, until
it could no longer be heard.
"There ya go!' Said Bruce. "Me mates'll have
the message reach your mates in Sydney in no time.... no worries!"
Lauren had sunk back onto the ground in exasperation.
Now, several days later, there seemed to be no end to the frolicking
and partying on the beer and food the kangaroos had brought along. Evenings
around a blazing camp-fire were filled with stories about the Rock near
which they had crashed, which one or other of the 'Bruce's' would tell
with such feeling and emotion, that the mgfans (who were partial to a good
'tale' at the best of times) were completely enthralled.
Lauren alone remained concerned that they would
never get out of this mess! Never get back to Greyland, never see Sonja
and Krichelle again, and NEVER manage to foil Vanna Lace's evil plan to
capture Greyland!
She had just resolved to go over and shake Marnie until she snapped
out of whatever it was she and the others were in, when a bright object
came screaming out of the sky and smashed down but a few yards from their
position.
"What the.....!" Exclaimed Rachel.
"Take cover!" Yelled Sam. (Shell-shocked, Sam
still has flash backs to the voting war on occasion.)
"Well knock me sideways with a feather!" Announced
Marnie as she approached the object. "Do you KNOW what this is?" She looked
at everyone as if expecting a response. No one had anything to say, so
Marnie continued.
"It's my new prototype unmanned shuttle!! It's
still in the 'test flight' phase, so how did it get here?! There must have
been a fault in the launching mechanism......"
As Marnie was speaking she reached over and pressed a button. Suddenly
a small door opened, a shaft of light shot out and a Barbie doll sized
holograph figure said "Help me Obi-wan! Your our only hope!" {No, wait
a minute, wrong tall-tale..... Um, hang on.}
...a shaft of light shot out and two small holographic
figures appeared. It was Havoc and Tarantula!
They seemed to be trying to communicate.......by playing charades!
Havoc was walking around stiff-legged and trying
to 'maaa' like a sheep, or a goat, Tarantula kept yawning, lying down to
sleep, then getting up again, then lying down again, and so on.
"What on earth..!" Said Erica. "Hey, if they
could do this on cue you would have a pretty lucrative road-show on your
hands, Marn!"
"Wait a minute!!" Gasped Angela. "KIDNAP! They
are trying to say KIDNAP!!!"
"Aaagh!" Screamed Marnie. "Someone has kidnapped
my poor baby!!!"
While everyone tried to calm Marnie down, Angela
watched carefully to try and glean more information from the strange spectacle
playing out in front of them.
It appeared Tarantula was getting tired of Havoc's
lame attempts at charades and eventually got him to push a computer keyboard
into the beam, where Tarantula proceeded to tap out a legible message.
GREYLAND IN TROUBLE. {Yes, he had the caps lock on} HI-GREYLANDER
KIDNAPPED1 {Seems he could not hold down the shift, AND press the exclamation
mark at the same time.} NEED SUPER-MARNIE1 SENDING SUIT IN SHUTTLE. HURRY111111111111
The Greylanders muttered amongst themselves "They sent the suit?"
"Where?" "How?"
They were all so involved in the fact that Marnie's
Super-Marnie suit was somewhere nearby that it took them a while to notice
that the mutant kangaroos had quietly formed a circle around them all.
Suddenly the herd of kangaroos seemed rather menacing. The 'Mr Nice-guy'
act had been discarded, and they glared at the group of women around the
shuttle.
"Now, now ladies," Said Bruce (I forget which
one), "we don't want any ...um..... MISHAPS now do we? Our orders are to
keep you here till we get the word."
"Ah...what word would THAT be?" Said Erica, trying
to sound braver than she felt.
Marnie sidled up to her and whispered "Keep them
talking, keep the attention OFF the shuttle!" and she slipped to the ground
behind the crashed shuttle.
"Looking for.....THIS?!!" Screeched a pouty squeak of a voice. Marnie
spun around, Lauren simply could not take any more, and fainted. Everyone
turned towards the voice.
Just above them, on a ridge, stood a very real
(with the exception of copious amounts of silicon) Vanna Lace, wearing......Marnie's
Super-Marnie suit!!!!!!!
"Geeze!" Said Mariel to Nancy. "Goodness knows she'll stretch the
thing beyond recognition!!"
Vanna spoke again: "And perhaps you have misplaced....THESE
too!"
Over the ridge behind her came two more kangaroos,
one holding Havoc tightly in a muzzle and leash, and the other carrying
a perspex box, from which Tarantula was trying his utmost to escape!!!!
COULD THINGS GET ANY WORSE??!!
"Unhand that spider"! Shrieked Angela, trying to sound very authoritative.
Vanna opened her mouth and produced a loud, high
pitched, evil laugh. "Ha-ha-ha-ha! It's too late now, my pretty's! I got
the spider, and the little dog too!! I have the Hi-Greylander, and all
of Greyland is MINE - - MINE!!!!! HA-HA-HA!!!!"
Marnie's mind raced. She knew the power of her suit lay in the two
innocent looking hamburger patties, that were at this point stretched and
strained to the limit. At any minute they could crumble. She willed them
to start breaking, but alas, they were too well bonded, somewhat reminiscent
of the Lord High Keeper of the Votes' frybread. In other words, virtually
indestructible!! She HAD to think of a plan!
Suddenly there was a whooshing sound followed
by solid thud, and the earth shook with a tremor that lasted only a few
seconds. And when the world stopped shaking all eyes were riveted to Vanna's
'assets', which oscillated in the after shock of a blow that had dislodged
the hamburger patties and sent them flying off in a trajectory following
a small wooden object which twirled and whirled in a huge circle. Everyone
ducked as the object, followed by the hamburger patties, flew menacingly
low over the crowd, Greylanders and kangaroos, to be caught expertly in
Jami's hand.
"I did it!!! Ah-ha!" She laughed. "I DID it!
Wow, I can throw a BOOMERANG!"
Before anyone could say 'terminal oscillation' Erica had Vanna in
a vice grip, Marnie and Angela had rescued their beloved pets, and Jami
was taking bows left and right, as everyone congratulated her on her perfect
aim and excellent boomerang skills!
"It's STILL too late!" Vanna cried as she struggled
against Erica's restraints. "You'll NEVER find the Hi-Greylander!"
"Hey!" Said Marnie after she had extricated herself
from Havoc's joyful greeting. "I think THIS is MINE!"
And she ripped the Super-Marnie suit off Vanna's body..........
....There was a profound silence and everyone gaped in a shock.
Underneath, Vanna was NOTHING like, well, Vanna! At best she was a 'B'
cup, her ribs showed, and she had KNOCKED KNEES! 'Vanna Lace' was a fraud.
A product of careful marketing and good airbrush techniques. The Greylanders
were astounded.
Even the kangaroos were surprised, and Bruce
said "Well jingoes! This aint the Sheila we THOUGHT it was?!
Lauren immediately confronted Bruce. "Aren't
you ashamed of yourselves? Obeying this creature simply because you thought
she was something she was not!"
All the kangaroos cast their eyes downward and
shuffled their tails in shame. They were so chagrined that they promised
to help the Greylanders sort out the mess they had been partially responsible
for, and help them find the Hi-Greylander. And they would START by interrogating
Vanna, to find out where exactly she was holding the Hi-Greylander against
his will!
Fortunately the unmanned shuttle contained a full tool kit, and
Marnie set straight to work to try to get the WTS airworthy again. Snow
set about repairing the communicator and trying to contact Sonja and Krichelle.
The kangaroos dragged Vanna off to, WHERE they would not say, but they
assured the Greylanders that the information they wanted would soon be
forthcoming!
Everyone worked on through that night helping either Marnie with
the ship repairs, or Snow with the communicator repairs. Mary and Jami
set about keeping everyone fed, Liza and Shannela kept themselves busy
repairing the Super-Marnie suit, and every now and then during the still
night, the work was interrupted by fearful shrieks, like an animal in pain.
"She's a tough one, I'll give her that!" Said
Marnie, as everyone stopped once again to listen to the disturbing sound
that made their skin crawl.
Sometime around 3:00am Snow yelled, "Eureka! I think I've made contact!"
Everyone downed tools and gathered around the
communicator while Snow repeated into the
microphone, "This is Goochmobile calling 'Away Team'. Come in please."
It seemed like an eternity that they waited,
but then at last the speaker crackled into life : "This had BETTER be good,
Snow!" Sonja's voice blared, and everyone cheered.
Quickly Snow gave a breakdown in the situation.
Sonja replied.
"Oh shoot! You mean we have to, like, come to
your rescue now??!! Gee, it's really a bad time.......!"
Marnie was not having a good night. She grabbed
the microphone, and there emitted from her mouth a tirade such as had never
been heard from the WTS pilot before, and which it is doubtful will ever
be heard again. When she had finished there was silence for a few seconds,
and Sonja said :
"I'll take that as a 'yes'." And she signed off,
promising she and Krichelle would arrive with help as soon as possible.
Shortly before sunrise the kangaroos arrived back, looking triumphant
and grinning from ear to ear.
"Well, here's what we got." Said Bruce in a matter-of
fact voice. "Apparently there is a castle off the coast of Greyland?"
"A castle off the coast?" Everyone muttered and
thought where that could be.
"Oh yeah!" Said Nessie. "Remember the Halloween
adventure? Must be THAT castle!" Everyone nodded, yes, it had to be that
castle.
"Old 'wobbly knees' there says that your great
leader is in the dungeon down there, strapped to a computer forced to explore
Vanna Lace's website day in and day out!"
"Oh no!! Our poor, poor Hi-Greylander!" Gasped
Mariel. "He will SURELY need the special care and ministrations of the
Keeper of Ye Grey Alchemies after that experience!" And she grinned to
herself.
"Well he isn't going to get rescued at all if
we don't get the WTS up and running again." Grumbled Marnie, who was covered
in grease and still in a bad mood.
As if her words were a portent, zooming in from the east came a
low flying bush plane. It buzzed the little group, flying low over the
wreckage of the WTS, before landing nearby.
Out jumped Sonja and strode on over to the Greylanders.
"OK, you can a-a-all relax, help has arrived! So... give us a status report,
Marn!"
Marnie glared at Sonja with her 'take charge'
attitude but decided now was not the time to put the overly opinionated
Lord High Keeper of the Votes in her place. Besides, pouring out of the
plane behind Krichelle, were some of the best-looking rough and hunky Aussie
blokes she had ever seen!
"Over here, boys!" Yelled Krichelle, and the
men set to work. They all seemed to know exactly what to do. Some starting
welding the hull together, others set to work on the electronics, and soon
the Greylanders started believing the Goochmobile would indeed fly again!
Sonja grinned widely and winked at Marnie, who sighed, shook her head in
exasperation, and smiled back.
As work continues on the Goochmobile, will the Greylanders be in
time to rescue the Hi-Greylander before he is sucked into the cyber-world
of 'Vanna Lace' forever? And what DID the kangaroos actually DO to the
evil Vanna? Perhaps they left her to the dingoes on Ayres Rock?... Perhaps
they will yet wish they DID..............!
CHAPTER 7
"Waltzing Matilda, wa-altzing mati-i-i-lda, you'll come a
waltzing matilda with me-e-e.."
"Aaaaaagh!" Screamed Mariel, "I can't take much
more! Someone, SHUT THEM UP!"
Sonja, Krichelle, and the hunky Aussie workmen
sang at the tops of their voices as the fully restored Goochmobile bounced
along hyperspace. Several of the men had decided that Delchaney was the
place for them, and had all brought their tog bags aboard as soon as repairs
were completed. Jami, Liza, and Angela were particularly happy to have
them along, and joined in the singing as raucously as they could.
Once again at the controls of her beloved ship, Marnie maintained
radio silence, afraid of what she would discover if she tried to contact
Andy Airforce base. She and Lauren had discussed it, and decided that as
they had the element of surprise they would use it to the full. The WTS's
cloaking device was fully operational, and chances were good they would
make it all the way back to Greyland before anyone knew they were coming.....
that is if the 'Royal Australian Choir' would finally shut up!
The Goochmobile glided silently, so low Angela was convinced she
could reach out and touch the sea below. She turned to Jami to comment
about that very observation, but Jami was lost in thought of her own. Time
was marching on, birthdays and Anniversaries were fast approaching, and
all she could think of was the myriad of preparations she had to embark
upon as soon as the WTS dropped her back at her Meatloaf Palace! There
were new recipes to experiment with, meatloaves to bake, and a specially
created new meatloaf to commemorate the lists Anniversary would not go
amiss! Yes, there was MUCH to be done, and they were travelling MUCH too
slowly for her liking!
Mary, Lauren, Marnie and all the others watched as the coastline
of Greyland appeared up ahead, and the little craft skimmed in closer and
closer. What would they find? Would Greyland's glory be a thing of the
past? Had the Hi-Greylander.......*gulp*..... experienced a 'fate worse
than death'? Had the evil Vanna turned the once beautiful country into
a sleazy, red velveteen roadside motel with mirrors on all the ceilings?
CHAPTER 8
When the WTS finally landed at Andy International Airport
the adventurers found that all was perfectly normal in Greyland (well about
as normal as Greyland CAN be!) The Hi-Greylander was not in mortal danger
at all, his Corvette was parked in the Manor garage, and he was actually
calmly and busily working on his computer, seeing to matters of State (or
so he told his aide de camp, Vickie........ but we suspect he was on the
ICQ to PKG again, arranging a Hockey game for Sunday). So what had transpired?!!
Had the Greylanders IMAGINED the danger? (What US?.....IMAGINATIONS?
NEVER!!!)
But there HAD been a few changes in Greyland.
The dastardly plot to overthrow Greyland had not been 'imagined'
after all, nor the Hi-Greylander's kidnapping by a certain dame who's name
shall no longer be mentioned in Greyland!! Indeed he had been kidnapped,
and was being scudded (IS there such a word?) along the coast line in a
flat bottomed boat, valiantly fighting and kicking the whole way, when
the ruckus caught the attention of a certain band of BeachBums (Adam Beach
fans) who had made a pilgrimage to 'Adam Beach', that beautiful stretch
of Greyland beachfront along the Tokalah coastline.
They are an intrepid bunch these Beachbums, and brainy too, because
they immediately surmised what had happened, and launched a brave and daring
rescue! They threw Vanna's...(oops sorry, that name shall no longer be
mentioned in Greyland)… henchmen in the dungeon of the great Halloween
Castle, there to rot for all eternity, and restored the grateful Hi-Greylander
to his proper station. The Hi-Greylander was in fact SO grateful to the
brave band of BeachBums, that he annexed the entire coastal area known
as Adam Beach, to them!(Henceforth to be known as The Principality of Adam
Beach) And he was so angry that his OWN citizens had failed to come to
his rescue, (after all the times he has rescued THEM!) that he categorically
ignored them all for a good two weeks!!
So there they are, at Jami's, all on their own, no Hi-Greylander
to welcome ol' Marnie's brain back into her own body again (Ok, I
know we didn't go that route), and as usual their only chance of glimpsing
him will be on Jami's freshly dusted TV screen! *sigh*!!
So, Sandy brought her Buffalo meatloaf (Greylanders will try ANYTHING
once!!), Krichelle put up streamers and balloons, Snow put up a banner,
Mariel brought her usual nachos and salsa and got onto brewing up more
of that anti-allergy potion for the Hi-Greylander (in the hope that he
would be so grateful he’d stop ignoring everyone!!), Marnie quickly added
an Adam Beach room to the Greyland National Gallery (in the hope that her
especial obsequiousness would garner the Hi-G's forgiveness )and Sonja
caught a whole JAR of flies for Tarantula. Rachel and Lori put the kettle
on for the Earl Grey(eyes), and the Greylanders did what they ALWAYS do
in these situations…put an MG movie in the VCR and PARTY’D ON!!!
Sonja
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