He stood in the doorway a long while just staring into the starkness of the hospital room, trying not to look at the lone figure in the bed. Everything was so bare no notes, no flowers, no indication that anyone cared for her. In the end he supposed, no one had. At least not in a way that would cause them to think of those trivial little frivolities, which seemed to decorate every other hospital room. Lord knows he hadn't thought to bring anything.

"Sir? Sir, are you looking for someone?"

"Hmmmm...aaaah" Wesley groaned as he turned a little to quickly to face the nurse behind him. Leaning against the door, his hand came up to guard his wounded side from any further injury.

"Oh, do you need a doctor?"

"No, no, that won't be necessary thank you, just...ummm...a muscle sprain...too much squash." He smiled weakly at the nurse's incredulous look. There was no reason on God's green earth for her to accept the explanation, his face was a still decorated with quite a few purplish and slowly yellowing bruises and a cut healing on his lip. It would have been easier for her to believe he had lost in a boxing match with a gorilla than the excuse he had just given.

Still it seemed that the Hellmouth had its advantages in creating less persistent medical staffs, for the nurse simply pursed her lips together disapprovingly, before giving him a resigned shrug. "If you say so. Can I help you find who you were looking for?"

"Actually, I came to see her." He gestured vaguely at the still form in the hospital bed.

That caught the nurse off guard, raising her eyebrows she moved briskly into the room and pulled out the chart. "We don't have her recorded as having a family...no relations whatsoever, at least that we can contact. You the boyfriend?"

Wesley blustered for a moment, unsure of whether an affirmative answer would allow him to stay or get him arrested. Deciding instead that it was safer to skirt as close to the truth as possible, he said "No, I'm an associate of hers, a mentor of sorts...well former mentor of sorts."

Snorting the derisively she put the chart down, and dragged a chair over to him. "Guess you've been out of touch for awhile huh?"

"You might say that."

Checking all the equipment, she glanced down at the pale form. "It's terrible, to see them struck down so young I mean."

Unable to keep the sudden rush of emotion that her words brought forth in check, Wesley sunk gingerly into the proffered chair, "Yes, yes it is...terrible."

"Well, there'll be a new nurse on shift in half an hour, but you've got at least two until visiting hours are over."

"Thank you...ummm...is there a flower or gift shop in this building?"

"Yes, I could order something if you would like or..."

He closed his eyes and tried to picture her in something besides black, "Blue, anything that they might sell...flowers, stuffed animals..." He raised his hands in a tired gesture, "It was her favorite color."

"You want...everything?"

"Well, it does seem a little drab doesn't it?"

When the nurse left, he leaned forward wincing at the pain in his side. "Hello, Faith."

All that answered him in the silence was the steady beeping of the monitors. "I suppose you're surprised to see me here. I'm a little surprised to find myself here actually, but I'm leaving town soon, so I have been taking the time to say goodbye. Rather brief goodbyes since I uh...haven't exactly made any friends here I'm afraid," He let out a small laugh, "but then I guess you already knew that. It seems that even Miss Chase is no longer interested in my few charms."

Somehow he thought he could hear Faith laughing at him inside his mind, "Jailbait, yes I know. Well, those bars are no longer a threat it seems..." He trailed off, uncertain of what to say. This all seemed so ridiculous, being here talking to her as if she cared at all about him or what was going on his life. Better to come to say what he had to say and get it over with.

"The mayor is dead. I'm sorry Faith." Instinctively he reached out to cover her limp hand with his, trying to offer some form of comfort, which she didn't need. Still, something in him felt as though she had a right to know. "He...he left provision for your continued care. It appears that he cared for you...in his way."

His hand tightened at the idea that that might have been what had driven her away, "You know they...we...I cared for you as well. I suppose you must think I have a funny way of showing it." He swallowed hard, "Dear God, I never meant things to go this way, but then I'm sure you didn't either."

Rubbing his hand across his face he tried to hide the sudden tears, which threatened to over take him. Lord, Faith had annoyed him to no end, constant stinging comments, defying all the rules, laughing at his every order. She had been nothing like she should have been, at least nothing like he had been told she should have been.

Still there had always been something so...innocent about her, this undying belief that she was indestructible, immortal in her own right, and when he looked her he had always been ready to believe it. "You were a good slayer Faith. I want you to know that, and maybe with better circumstances, a better Watcher, things would have turned out differently."

Now that he had started down this road he didn't seem to be able to stop. There was something comforting about pouring out his soul this way to her, the way he had always imagined a Watcher/Slayer relationship to be, "I'm not really leaving because the council has recalled me. Rather the contrary actually, I've been fired...a Watcher who can't control his Slayer...unfit for duty I believe is how they put it, which you probably find vastly appropriate." He could see her eyes mocking him in his minds eye, but somehow the look seemed softer, friendlier. "In truth I find it rather appropriate as well. I don't think I was ever meant to be a Watcher, at least not the kind the council wanted, too eager I suppose."

There was no supposing in reality. He had been told as much everyday for the entirety of his training, constantly being lectured on how important it was to stick simply to the cold facts about all the previous Slayers, but that hadn't curbed his curiosity instead spurring it on. "I've never told anyone this, not that you can hear me, but just in case you can. When I was training, I used to sneak into the archives finding and reading old Watcher diaries, looking at faded photos of old Slayers. It was like a fantasy world daring battles, these two grand warriors against the evil that lurked. I wanted so badly to be a part of that. Every Watcher wrote about his Slayer with such affection, such obvious pride. I envisioned all Slayers as these Artemises, something beyond human."

Was he giving her excuses, explaining his actions, offering her comfort? Perhaps it was all three. His other hand began to tremble, and he clenched it into a tight fist. "Then suddenly I find myself shoved into this world, and you were both very human with faults and fears and..." He let out another small laugh as the tears began to roll down his face freely, "absolutely terrible vocabularies. I just couldn't make myself believe it, couldn't believe that you were capable of mistakes but you were and I was angry, confused, and foolishly still held to this dream that you would handle it far better than any of us actually did. In the end I failed everyone, especially you" Wesley broke off aware that he was rambling.

"Oh my, this is not going at all like I meant it to. Faith..." The name stuck in his throat. How ironic that her name had been the one thing they had both been unable to have in themselves, in each other. "I want you to know that you were just as remarkable as any of those Slayers, which I had read about. I think that if we had had more time, my reports of you might have been something very similar to those in archives now. I'm sorry that they will never be."

For a long while he just sat there, gazing sadly on the pale face with dark circles under her eyes. The sounds of the life support the only thing breaking the silence, beeps of different machines, harsh artificial breathing, and the occasional murmurs drifting in from the hallway. As he absently stroked the back her hand, his mind insisted on running what if scenarios over and over. Each one came out with a smiling Faith, alive and vivid, fulfilling her destiny in the way she was meant, but the man by her side was never him...never him.

"You could have been many things, some part of me wants to believe that you will still get that chance...but..." He broke off again, realizing that none of this was his responsibility anymore. It saddened and relieved him all at once. In the end it was too much, too much responsibility, too much pain, too much emotion. It was more than he wanted, more than he could handle.

"It's good that I'm leaving." He finally murmured with a cheerful note in his voice that just didn't ring quite true. "This way when you wake up, there will be...someone better equipped to help you."

He had bent closer, so that she could still hear his voice as it dropped to a whisper under the choking emotions. Looking down at her closed eyes, he brushed away a strand of limp hair with more care than he had ever shown her before. "Please...let them help you."

As he lifted his hand to brush another strand of hair away, he became aware that it was trembling. Somehow this short visit had become something that he had never intended it to be. Pulling both his hands away, he sat back in his chair, gathering up his emotions and tucking them away the way he had trained himself to do, only this time the clean up seemed a bit messy.

Standing he said, "Well, I...I...I should be going. I need to pay for the flowers. They will be brought to your room shortly. I uh thought you might like them, perhaps...the smell..." He lifted his hand in a futile gesture, then dropped it, and headed towards the door. At the last moment he turned back, "I will think of you." It was all he could promise. He hoped it was enough.