Cordelia stood in front of the urn… wondering as she chanted, why she was here. She shivered as the cool evening air seeped into her bones. Sure, she'd had a disturbing vision, what was new there? Her visions were never pretty, and always disturbing, she'd gotten used to that.

But then again, her visions were never about Angel, beaten and broken, dying in her arms.

She gasped as she was blinded by the flash of white light that suddenly lit up her vision.

Several moments later, she found herself face to face with the oracles. They simply stood and watched her in silence, as she stared back, not quite sure what to say now that she was here.

"You've had a vision," the female oracle spoke softly, seeing Cordelia nod.

"It was about Angel, was it not?" her counterpart continued, getting another nod.

"He was terribly hurt," the words were whispered, as Cordelia struggled to get them out, her mind flashing back to the horrifying vision that had brought her awake, frightened and scared, tears streaming down her face. "He was…he died in my arms," she finished, not able to hold back the lone tear that slipped down her cheek. The images were still too fresh, too painful for her to think about without breaking apart inside.

The oracles remained silent, looking from each other to the girl standing before them.

"It's the future you see child, it's the future you've always seen, you know that, so why are you here now, questioning it?" the female asked, face serene and calm as Cordelia looked at her.

Cordelia remained silent, still trying to find an answer.

"I guess I need to know if I can prevent it, I need to know why after all the good he's done, he would be killed, I need to save him," she whispered.

Angel had always saved her, even when she didn't think she needed it. He was always there for her. He'd never let her down. She wasn't going to let him down. She wasn't going to lose him. She cared about him too much.

The oracles sighed, turning to exchange glances before looking back at Cordelia.

"It's true, you did see Angel die, but his death can be prevented," the male began, stopping as he saw the girl's eyes light up.

"I knew there had to be a way. Angel can't die… I won't let him," she said triumphantly, feeling her smile fade at the serious looks she was getting from the two people in front of her. "What aren't you telling me?" she finished, feeling apprehension invade her body.

The female oracle sighed again before speaking.

"Angel will be attacked by vampires while his defenses are low, and at the time, will be so depressed, he won't notice them until its too late. By then, he'll have no desire to defend himself," she began, pausing a moment as she watched the girl in front of her absorb the words.

"He'll be so depressed he loses his will to live?" Cordelia asked, trying not to let conflicting emotions color her voice.

The oracles remained silent, watching Cordelia's inner struggle.

"That remains to be seen, as we've said, it can be prevented, if you are willing to take the risk," the male stated coming forward to stand in front of her.

Cordelia looked up, puzzlement written on her face.

"But I can save him? I can prevent his death?" she asked, trying to truly understand what they were telling her.

"You can, but it may mean risking your own future, risking everything you've grown to depend on, and everything you love," the female replied solemnly, seeing Cordelia snap to attention at her words.

"What are you saying?" she asked quietly, feeling her heart slow as she waited for her answer. When it came, it took her breath away.

"Angel's soul is permanent. He can't lose it again," the oracle said, watching the young woman stare at her with disbelieving eyes.

"What are you telling me, that Angelus is gone for good? That no matter how upset he gets, whenever he goes all 'grrrr' on me, he's always going to end up as Angel? His soul is truly permanent and true joy can't take him away?" she asked, still not believing.

The oracles nodded.

"He's done his penance, and through his attempt to overcome Angelus, he has been granted his soul, for good, Angelus is gone," the male replied, watching the girl in front of him closely.

"You mean, Angel can be happy, and free to live his life?" she asked softly, suddenly realizing the implications of the situation.

They remained silent, letting her absorb her newfound knowledge.

Cordelia was reeling from the news. Ordinarily she'd be overjoyed. Brood Boy could retire, he could live without the fear of Angelus. That would make him extremely happy. It would make several people very happy.

She felt the world closing in on her, as she truly began to comprehend the meaning of what she'd been told.

With a solemn glance, she looked back up at them.

"I'm the one that holds the power to tell him this, right?" she asked softly, seeing them both nod, feeling her heart sink. "So, if I don't tell him, and let him brood and sulk, and get more depressed, especially over what he can't have with Buffy, he'll die, and it will be my fault," she finished in a whisper, not wanting to hear what she was saying.

The oracles said nothing.

"But if I tell him, he could conceivably go back to live happily with Buffy, slaying demons at her side and loving her, leaving Angel Investigations, his life here in LA, Wesley, and me," she finished softly, the magnitude of the weight on her shoulders nearly crushing her.

Again, the oracles maintained their silence.

"So in the end, it's my happiness or his," she whispered softly, almost to herself as she turned to go, knowing she had to be alone to think. It was too much to absorb, too much to comprehend. She needed time.

She barely heard the oracles' voices calling out to her as she left.

"You have the power to see the future, you also have the power to change it, chose wisely."

Cordelia continued moving, her mind a tangled mess of confused thoughts and emotions. She made her way back to the outside world, uncaring of the fact that it was now pitch black outside. She couldn't see anything in front of her, her mind blocking out everything but what she'd just been told.

She held Angel's future, his happiness, in a word, his life, in her hands.

She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't supposed to be the one to make this decision. She wasn't supposed to be the one to chose between her happiness and his.

She finally managed to make it home, collapsing wearily onto the couch. She barely noticed when her afghan floated across the room and draped itself around her body.

"Thanks Dennis," she whispered, taking slight comfort from the apartment's silent dweller.

Finally, when she knew she had to think about this or go insane, she forced herself to examine the situation.

Angel's soul was permanent. Angelus was gone for good. Part of her was extremely happy, she'd never liked his bad side it was reassuring to know she didn't have to fear it anymore. The news would undoubtedly make her life, and Angel's, much less stressful. He wouldn't have to worry about his dark side, he wouldn't have to brood so much, and he wouldn't have to deny himself the simple pleasures of life. At least the ones he could enjoy. Ones she knew he would enjoy if he'd only let himself.

She remembered the nights she'd found him alone, in the dark, sitting in his chair, staring into space. She and Doyle had teased him constantly about it, about his need to sit in the dark and brood. He was so damn good at it too. She always wondered what he was feeling, figuring he must be thinking serious thoughts. She'd never admitted how much the sight of Angel brooding got to her.

She didn't want to see him in pain, or hurting. She didn't like seeing him wrestle with his memories, and his soul. She didn't like watching him agonize over Buffy. Knowing him as well as she now did, it only became more painful to watch him suffer, and she knew, despite those who would say the contrary, she'd do anything she could to ease his pain. She'd rather die herself than watch him be hurt.

The thought was staggering.

She, Cordelia Chase, May Queen, most popular girl of Sunnydale High, was ready to give her life for someone else. Someone she loved.

She felt a tear slip down her cheek as she realized how much she'd grown to love her brooding boss over the past year. The feelings had come slowly, but probably had been there from the start. She'd always had a thing for him. It only made sense, working together as they did now, that they'd grow closer over time. Especially after losing Doyle. She could still feel the pain of his loss, and the comfort of knowing Angel understood and grieved with her. She knew Angel cared about her, and would do everything in his power to protect her. In his own way, she knew he loved her, but not the way she wanted, not the way she needed to be loved.

Another tear escaped as she realized that she'd been a lost cause from the start. Angel would only ever love Buffy, and if she told him he had a permanent soul, she knew he'd be back at her side in a heartbeat. Part of her wanted to deny the fact, but she couldn't. She remembered how much pain he'd been in when he'd learned about Riley, when he'd confronted Buffy during the whole Faith situation. He'd been a bear for weeks, especially after his visit to Buffy. She'd known he was upset, known something had passed between him and Riley and Buffy, and had wisely avoided saying anything. But her heart ached for him as she witnessed his pain, wishing she could take it away.

Wishing she could replace his pain with her love.

Wishing he'd let her.

But he wouldn't. He couldn't. The fates had made that decision long ago, when they'd put Angel and Buffy on the path to each other. Cordelia Chase had simply been a stepping stone along the way. She knew Angel needed her, she was his seer after all, but would he need her if he had a permanent soul?

That was what scared her the most.

The fear that if she told him, he'd leave LA, leave Angel Investigations, leave his life here, and most importantly, leave her. That thought was unbearable.

She needed him, even if it couldn't be romantically, she needed him. She needed his laughter and the tender look in his eyes when she was hurting. She needed him to keep her sane and on track, especially after a bad audition. She needed him to hold her when things got to be too much. She needed his good-natured teasing and funny compliments. She needed him to make sense of the crippling visions she got… to soothe and protect her… and the people in those visions. She couldn't survive without him.

But if she, in essence, gave him his freedom, would he stay?

Unfortunately, looking at past history, and all the facts, she knew, in her heart, he would leave. Things simply didn't work out any other way, at least not for Cordelia Chase.

Especially not when compared to Buffy.

She knew she came up lacking when compared to the slayer, but she tried not to let it bother her. It had been easier, being away from them all, knowing she and Angel, and even Wesley, were making their own lives, and Buffy hers. But it still got to her, it still made her furious that Buffy could turn Angel inside out with a single look or make him miserable for days with a simple word. Then it was Cordelia's job to cheer him up again, to make things all right, to help him carry on. To get over the latest bombshell from the love of his life.

It just wasn't fair.

But did fair really matter here? What was fair to Angel? The poor man had been in turmoil for a good 200 or so years. She knew his quest was to beat Angelus, to save his soul, and make it permanent. That had always been his mission, it had become their mission over the past year.

Now, it looked like as if that mission was complete, and her part in it was almost over.

It figured she would be the one who had to make the final decision. Giving Angel what he wanted most, freedom, and probably Buffy, or keeping him eternally gloomy but with her.

She felt more tears fall as she realized how selfish that sounded. Yes, she, Cordelia Chase admitted she was being selfish. She knew she was, but knew too that it was just a desire for affection. She was the least confident person out there, she just hid it very, very well. She'd trained herself to put on the front, to not let anyone see behind her façade. But Angel had seen through it, as had Wesley and even Doyle. No one else ever had. No one had ever taken the time. But now, weighing the consequences of the decision she had to make, she realized how selfish it would be to deny Angel the truth.

It was going to kill her, and everything in her she'd so carefully built over the past year.

But it would save his life. It would truly set him free. He would be alive. He wouldn't be with her, but he'd be alive. And he'd be happy.

She could change her vision. She could change Angel's future.

But she'd end up alone, facing her own bleak and empty life.

Oh, she knew she had Wesley, but she knew too, that if Angel left, Wesley wouldn't be far behind, always looking for new challenges and new demons to slay.

And Cordelia would be left alone again. Like she always ended up. Alone, unemployed, unloved and living in LA. It shouldn't phase her, she'd been on her own long enough. She was used to being alone. She just hadn't realized how used to NOT being alone she'd become over the past year.

She had Doyle, Wesley and Angel to fall back on. To protect her from harm. To watch over her. To comfort her. Over their year together, she'd come to depend on them all, rely on them all. It had nearly killed her to lose Doyle, she didn't know what it would do to her if she lost Angel.

She cried even harder as she realized how lonely she was going to be.

Because in the end, she knew she had no other choice. She loved him too much to let him suffer. He deserved to know the truth about his soul… and to have the freedom he so desperately craved. Freedom from fear of love and true happiness, freedom, finally, from Angelus.

And because she loved him, she'd tell him, and then sit quietly by while he left her behind.

It would break her heart.

But she'd survive. Somehow. She had to, after all, she had always been a survivor.

She just hadn't realized how much she hated surviving alone.

But she would do it. For her love of Angel, she'd willingly let him go.

She continued to cry, letting the harsh sobs wrack her body as she curled up into a tight little ball on the couch, watching her hopes and dreams fade away. She didn't even notice the box of Kleenex that floated over and landed on the table next to her.

Finally, the flood of tears passed and she fell into a restless sleep, drained and emotionless, haunted by visions of her dark Angel, dying in her arms… then living in Buffy's… knowing she had the power to save or damn him.

He sighed as he settled into the chair, content to watch Cordelia sleeping, curled up into a little ball. He didn't know why he'd come to her apartment tonight, he should be out slaying demons, trying to save his soul. But instead, he'd found himself at Cordelia's. Now he was watching her sleep, thinking how beautiful she was, hair spread across the pillows, afghan pulled up around her body. She always looked so beautiful when she slept, and he never tired of watching her. He had a feeling she'd freak out if she knew how many nights he'd spent watching over her, watching her sleep.

But for now, it was his little secret, one he gladly kept.

He watched as she turned, one long arm falling from under the afghan, something dropping from her hand as she unclenched her palm. His smile changed to a frown as he noticed it was a balled up Kleenex. He suddenly became aware of the box of Kleenex sitting on the table in front of her, and the few other pieces scattered around the floor.

Something wasn't right. Evidence pointed to the fact that she'd cried herself to sleep. But why? What could have possibly upset her that much?

He ran a mental check, realizing she hadn't had any auditions lately, so it couldn't be a rejection that upset her. She wasn't dating anyone, at least not that he knew of, so that couldn't be upsetting her either. He pushed aside the spurt of jealousy he felt about Cordelia dating.

So what had upset her?

He brooded in silence, wondering how to get it out of her. He hated to see her in pain. He hadn't realized how much until lately. How he was used to the sound of her moving around upstairs, while he slept. Of her laughter and strange jokes at the strangest times. Of the simple way she asked no questions, just followed him when he needed it, and patched him up when they returned. Of her gentle smiles and soft touches when she thought no one was looking. Of the way she smiled at him, when she was truly happy with something he did. Even if it was simply going to a party.

She was so different from Buffy in so many ways. He sighed as he let his mind wander, finally having the conversation with himself he'd been putting off for far too long.

Buffy… well, the thought of her still caused him pain. It wasn't easy giving up on a love like theirs, but it was too dangerous to hang on. Too much happiness wasn't good for him, it stirred up Angelus. And that was bad for everyone. Besides, she'd already moved on, so it seemed, with Riley. And while that hurt, he couldn't blame her. His own developing feelings for Cordelia were only adding to his confusion.

He'd come to depend on her, to rely on her, and over the past year, discovered he wanted her as well.

Desperately.

Almost every day was a struggle anymore, a struggle not to grab her and take her, right where she stood. Everything she did seemed to turn him on, her little gestures, her smiles, her comments. Her way of missing the obvious, then stating it with a laugh.

He couldn't stop the visions and fantasies that sped through his mind either.

Watching her sleep only added fuel to the fire, as he imagined what it would feel like to take her, to possess her, to love her, to actually spend the night in her arms, taking each other to heights neither had known before. Because deep down inside, he knew they could take each other to places they'd never been.

It scared the hell out of him.

At least with Buffy, he knew where he stood. With Cordelia, he hadn't a clue. She was always throwing him curve balls, and part of him had to admit, he liked that about her. Maybe even loved that about her.

And that's what scared him. Because he was starting to wonder if his true happiness was really with Cordelia.

And that would spell disaster for everyone.

He sighed, wondering what he was going to do about the situation. It was confusing the hell out of him and he didn't know how much more he could take. She also looked too tempting, stretched out, sleeping, waiting, it seemed, for someone to wake her with a kiss. He wished it could be him.

He sighed again, struggling to deal with the emotions she'd stirred up as he watched her. He suddenly heard her moan and saw her body twist on the couch. He immediately was at her side, seeing from the expression on her face that she was fighting a nightmare. And a rather painful one at that, if her facial expressions were anything to go by. He gently leaned over, brushing his hand across her cheek, gently stroking the soft skin, hoping she'd wake up and snap out of her dream.

Cordelia only moaned again, struggling against the afghan as she started fighting off the demons encroaching on her sleep.

Angel grabbed her arms gently as she began to thrash around, voice rising as she battled her demons.

"Cordelia… it's okay, I'm here, you can wake up now, Cordelia…" he called softly, hoping his voice would sink into her nightmares and banish the monsters.

"Angel! Nooooooooooo….." Her scream nearly sent whatever blood he had left in his veins to an all time low.

"Cordelia!" He cried out her name, shaking her again, needing her to wake up, needing her to look into his eyes and tell him he wasn't the one terrorizing her in her dreams. He had a sudden suspicion Angelus was the one causing her this fear and pain, and he cursed himself again for what he'd unconsciously inflicted on her that one night, when his inhibitions had been drug induced.

"Leave him alone! Angel, please don't die… please Angel, I need you, don't die… I should have told you, I should have let you know… please don't leave me…" her voice trailed off, broken and weak as her body started to shudder. He watched in fear and amazement as she started crying in her sleep. Deep, heaving sobs that wracked her small form.

He was stunned.

She was dreaming about him. And from the sounds of it, someone attacking him. It was tearing him to pieces seeing her like this, knowing in his own way, he was the cause. She was dreaming about someone hurting him, and it was obviously killing her.

He gently pulled her into his arms, realizing she still wasn't awake yet, but unable to sit there and watch her cry as if her heart were breaking.

"Cordelia… shhhhh… it's okay, I'm here, no one's hurting me, please wake up Delia… please come back to me," he whispered into her hair, feeling her burrow deeper against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. He fought the fierce feeling of satisfaction that she instinctively trusted his embrace, even in her sleep. She was letting him hold her, comfort her, even if she wasn't aware of it.

It spoke of a trust he'd never had with anyone else, a bond that went deeper than he'd imagined.

No one had ever trusted him so completely, including Buffy.

And it was turning him on. He knew he was truly evil to be thinking these thoughts right now, when she was so obviously having a nightmare, but he couldn't help himself. His body was reacting to the soft one pressed against his. His senses absorbed everything about her, from the silky feel of her hair, to the soft brush of her skin against his cheek, to her breasts, pressed against his chest. He felt himself stir and cursed himself for his timing. She didn't need this right now, he couldn't do this. He knew that.

But try telling his body that.

He was still struggling with those feelings when he felt her stir against his chest, slowly waking up. He prayed to whoever might be listening to give him strength. He needed to comfort her, to listen to her, to support her to get her through whatever was causing her trouble.

Even though his body was saying otherwise.

"Angel?" he heard her whisper softly, and moved his hands to her face gently turning her face up to his.

"I'm here Delia, I've got you, I won't let you go," he whispered softly, looking deep into her eyes as she struggled to comprehend where she was and who she was with. He felt whatever was left of his heart suddenly break at the agony that suddenly appeared in her beautiful eyes. "Delia? What is it? Your nightmare? It's over, I know it must have been bad, but it's over now, I'm here, I'm not going to leave you," he whispered, surprised to see a tear slip down her cheek. "Delia?" he whispered, wishing with everything in him he could understand what was happening to her.

"God Angel, don't leave me, don't ever leave me," she managed, and he felt his whole body go into shock as she reached up and pulled his mouth down hers.

She couldn't begin to express the relief she felt as her mind cleared, and she realized she was in Angel's arms, and he was stroking her back, whispering tender words into her hair. She sighed, wrapping her arms around his waist and holding on, not wanting to give up the moment just quite yet.

She still thought she might be dreaming. There was only one way to find out.

"Angel?" she asked softly, feeling him gently cup her face in his hands as he turned her to face him. She caught her breath at the tenderness in his gaze, at the gentle way his fingers stroked her cheek.

"I'm here Delia, I've got you, I won't let you go," he whispered to her, and her heart leapt at the tenderness she read in his eyes. The concern and the caring. For her.

But only because he couldn't have Buffy or the life he once dreamed of. The life she could so easily give to him.

But could she? Could she give up this man who'd taken over her life, yet made her feel truly alive for the first time in years? Could she sacrifice the peace and happiness she'd found in her new life, by letting him go back to his old one?

She knew her pain and confusion must have been reflected in her eyes as she heard his whispered, "Delia? What is it? Your nightmare? It's over, I know it must have been bad, but it's over now, I'm here, I'm not going to leave you… Delia?"

It was the concern and love she could swear she saw in his eyes that did her in. The thought of losing him was too much to bear, especially if she had no memories to pull out in the future when she got too lonely to go on. She wanted this moment, and she knew unless she took the opportunity now, she'd never get it.

She at least wanted to have the memory of making him scream her name, not Buffy's, in ecstasy. The memory of his skin on hers, his hands on her body, his mouth all over her. The memories of making love to him, loving him like she had no other. Loving him like she knew she'd only get one shot, and that he'd leave her in the end.

Damned if she wasn't going to seize what little happiness she could before it all came to an end and she lost him.

"God Angel, don't leave me, don't ever leave me," she managed as she reached for him, pulling him down to her and kissing him hard.

She felt his surprise, knowing he hadn't expected this, but only pulled him closer, tightening her arms around him, kissing him with everything that she was feeling.

She couldn't stop her moan as she felt his arms circle her and felt him pull her hard against him as he opened his mouth to her. She thrust her tongue deep inside his mouth, running it over his teeth, feeling the sharpness of his fangs. She let her tongue swirl around each one, teasing the tips as she felt him battling for the same access to her mouth. She heard him growl as she gently impaled her tongue on a fang, feeling his body jerk as the first few drops of her blood trickled down his throat.

With a moan that sounded more like a growl, she felt Angel take over the kiss. She was the one to cry out then as she felt his tongue thrust deep into her mouth, his arms pulling her tightly against his fully aroused body.

She shivered at the delicious sensation of his cool body pressed against her heated one. He was rock hard and strong, and she finally gave in to the urge she'd been fighting for the past year. She raked her nails down his back, loving the feel of the hard muscle underneath them, loving even more the harsh growl that burst from his throat.

She gasped as he suddenly flipped her over, and she landed with her back against the couch, one leg dangling off it, Angel's body pressing her deep into the cushions. She cried out as she felt his hands slip under her top, sliding up and finding her breasts, stroking the tips into hard little peaks.

She couldn't hold back her cry as she felt him push the top up over her head, then lean down and take a nipple into his mouth. The feeling of his warm, wet mouth, against her sensitive flesh was nearly her undoing. She pulled him closer, loving the feel of his teeth and tongue, loving it even more when she felt the slight scrape of his fangs on her tender flesh. She arched into his mouth, pulling his body closer, pressing her center straight against the rock hard flesh tenting the front of his sinfully arousing leather pants.

She let herself go, becoming a wild creature as she felt him arch hard against her. Her hands frantically tore at his shirt, finally ripping it off as she struggled to feel his naked flesh against her own. He growled and pulled away just enough to pull the shirt over his head.

Cordelia took advantage of the opportunity, and used her own strength to push him onto his back. She watched him fight his game face as she began to kiss her way down his chest. She let her nails rake across his small nipples, feeling his growl reverberate through his chest. His body was cool, but not as cold as she'd thought. And there was certainly nothing cold about the rock hard flesh that was pressing against her center with every move they made.

With a sly smile she moved lower, feeling his hands fist in her hair, but not stopping her. She felt her need for him growing as she managed to get his pants undone and freed his straining cock to her eager hands. She blew gently against him, watching his body arch up towards her lips as his hands fisted even tighter in her hair. She looked up at him, feeling a new spurt of desire as she watched his game face suddenly take over. With her eyes locked to his, she took him deep into her mouth.

Cordelia was in his arms, kissing him desperately. And she felt so good pressed up against him, her soft lips against his own, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

He knew they shouldn't do this, knew he was pushing things too far, knew the dangers they were both facing, but he couldn't stop himself. He wanted her too much, and it seemed, she wanted him as well.

With a groan, he opened his mouth, feeling a rush of dizziness hit him as her tongue began sweeping his mouth. He hissed as he felt her swirl her tongue over an elongated fang, resisting the urge to bite down and taste her blood. An urge she quickly satisfied as he felt her impale her tongue on his fang.

The sweet, bitter taste of her blood, trickling down his throat, was nearly enough to undo him. With a growl, he suddenly took control of the kiss, feeling a rush of emotion flood him as he began to explore her mouth, pulling her body hard against his, rubbing her breasts against his chest and his cock against her heated center.

God she was like fire against him! And for the first time, he wanted to delve into that fire, to jump into it headfirst. Regardless of the consequences… he wanted to be burned. But only by Cordelia.

He felt the vampire threaten as he cried out at the sensation coursing through him as he felt her rake her nails down his back, while pressing her center rhythmically against his cock. He fought the demon as hard as he could, knowing he was risking her life, and hundreds of others, by continuing, but unable to stop.

With a groan, he let his hands cup her bare flesh, pushing her shirt up and over her head. He absorbed her cry as he took one of her pert breasts into his mouth, sucking hard, feeling her nipple harden against the wetness of his tongue. She was bucking against him, hands frantically pulling him harder against her as she arched into him. He let more of his weight press against her, knowing it was what she wanted. He was so hard it was painful. All he could think about was thrusting himself deep inside her, taking her, like the animal he was.

He cried out as he felt her hands clawing at his shirt, ripping it off in her haste to undress him. He pulled back slightly, just enough to yank the shirt over his head, then found himself toppled backwards onto the couch as Cordelia rose above him.

God she was beautiful! Half naked and straddling him, a look of love and desire in her heated eyes, her heated center pressing directly against his cock. He cried out again as he felt her begin to kiss her way down his chest. He growled as he felt her gently tug on his nipples, fisting his hands in her hair to keep her anchored against him.

His game face finally won out, as he felt her slowly unzip his fly, and free his straining cock into her hand. He growled at her as he caught her gaze. He felt a flash of pure desire as he realized his game face wasn't going to turn her off. In fact, if he was any judge of female character, his demon persona actually turned her on.

All thoughts, demonic or otherwise, were swept from his mind as he watched her slowly take his cock into her mouth, her eyes never leaving his.

He thought he'd die at the sensation of her hot, wet mouth, tugging on him as she proceeded to give him the best blow job he'd ever had in his life. He kept his hands fisted in her hair, not forcing her, knowing she wouldn't want that, but urging her with the movement of his hips to quicken her strokes. He could feel himself growing harder, feel the desire in him rise as he watched the brunette head bent erotically over him.

With another growl, he suddenly pulled her away from him, and up his body, clamping his mouth down on hers and kissing her desperately as his hands struggled to remove the skin-tight pants she was wearing.

She could feel him tense up as she drew him nearer and nearer to the edge. Which was why it was such a shock when she felt him pull her away from his cock and pull her up his body. She moaned into his kiss as she felt his hands struggle to push her pants and panties down her legs.

She managed to unwrap her arms from around his neck long enough to help him, and within minutes, they were naked against each other, his cock pressing demandingly against her center, her breasts rubbing against his chest as he inhaled her.

She moaned as she felt his cool fingers slip between her thighs, gasping as he felt her wetness and thrust two fingers deep into her body. She cried out at the sensation, hearing him growl in satisfaction at her reaction. She was going to lose it, she knew it, his fingers were doing incredible things to her body, and she had no desire to stop him. She began to move against his fingers, thrusting hard against him, raking her nails across his shoulders as he began to move faster against her.

She moaned as her hands made their way back to his cock and began stroking it in time with his thrusts into her body. His growl set her hair on end and her body on fire. She opened her eyes and looked straight into his eyes. Angel's eyes, despite the demon that had taken over his face.

For a moment, they simply stared at each other, mortal and vampire, Angel and Cordelia.

For just a moment, Cordelia felt a sliver of doubt.

What if the oracles had been wrong?

What if Angelus was still there? What if she unleashed him into the world again?

But what if the oracles were right?

What if she didn't take the chance and find out?

She'd lose him either way.

She looked deep into his eyes, seeing the man behind the demon, and seeing the emotion in his eyes. Felt his fingers stroking her desperately, his body arching against hers. Felt the desire coursing through his veins as she watched him watching her.

Damn the consequences.

"Angel… take me," she whispered, feeling him growl and move so that she was positioned right above his straining cock. With one hard thrust, he buried himself deep inside her and Cordelia screamed as she felt him, finally, where she'd always wanted him. ************ Angel watched Cordelia as she stared deep into his eyes, into his soul.

He knew what she was looking for, what she was watching for.

He knew that Angelus would soon appear.

He'd never felt like this before, not even with Buffy. Cordelia brought out a wildness in him he wasn't even aware of. She wasn't afraid of the demon either, and that in and of itself was a powerful aphrodisiac.

Her body was burning up as he thrust his fingers into her over and over, loving the small moans she made at the sensations the move sent through her body.

He felt himself pass the point of no return as she reached down and began stroking him in the same rhythm he was using on her. The sensation was overpowering.

He had to have her. Consequences be damned.

He'd wanted her long enough, now she was ready to be taken, she wanted to be taken. He didn't know what a gypsy defined true joy, or true happiness as, but he had a suspicion it was what he'd experience when he was finally buried inside Cordelia Chase's body.

Warning signals were screaming through his brain, but in once conscious decision, he chose to ignore them. The scent and feel of this woman, wrapped around him, obviously not scared of him, but aroused by him, on top of him… he couldn't resist.

He knew he was damning them both, he knew he should pull away and stop them now, before they both went too far… but couldn't. He felt the agony and the ecstasy of knowing what could happen in the next few moments. The battle he was waging inside him was killing him slowly, and it could very well kill a lot of others if the demon was set free.

He had to stop… he had to stop them both. Or they were both doomed.

But even that realization, that knowledge, the guilt and fear, wasn't enough to stop him from taking her as she whispered her plea, while looking straight into his eyes, seeing deep into his soul.

"Angel… take me…"

The whispered words drove him over the edge as he gave into his wildness, damning them both to hell for what he was about to do. But he couldn't resist her.

With one quick move he had her positioned over him, and almost before he could think, he was buried deep inside her body. Her scream of ecstasy raised the hair on his neck, as well as his desire.

He growled her name, loosing every thought but one as he felt her inner muscles clamp down around his cock, squeezing him tightly. God she felt good! Too good. Almost sinfully good.

But he wanted more.

With another growl, he slowly withdrew, until just the tip of his cock was inside her… then thrust home, deep and hard again and again. He watched in primal satisfaction as she rode him, breasts bouncing up and down, head thrown back in pure abandon as she met his thrusts, taking him deeper and deeper into her body.

The sensation was like nothing he'd ever felt before. She was fire, liquid fire, melting around him, creating a furnace of heat around the steel of his cock. He felt himself losing control, feeling the animal inside him take over as he watched her jugular strain against her skin as she arched her neck back with each thrust. The urge was almost unbearable as he felt his fangs descend the need for a taste of her blood too much to resist.

It was the most erotic sight she'd ever seen.

"Angel… take me… I'm yours," she managed, leaning down and pulling his head to her neck. She saw the quick flash of concern that came and went in his eyes, and then all she could feel was the most blinding ecstasy she'd ever known as his fangs punctured her skin.

She cried out as her orgasm hit. It was the most powerful one she'd ever had, and she found herself screaming into the silent room as feelings and emotions hit her like a freight train. Every muscle in her body seemed to be exploding with feeling and she didn't know how much more she could take. She could feel him sucking at her neck, and it only heightened her climax.

This was what she'd wanted, what she'd waited for. Total and complete release, for the first time in her life. Given to her by the man she loved. The only man she'd ever love.

"Angel," she whispered softly before collapsing, spent and exhausted onto his body.

Angel finally thought he knew what heaven must be like.

Her cry of ecstasy as he buried his fangs in her neck had rocked him like nothing else ever had. He felt his whole world change as he drank from her, suddenly able to see everything she'd ever wanted, ever hoped, ever dreamed. The lonely, needy little girl inside the grown up woman. The passionate nature, just waiting to be explored by someone who knew how to bring it out in her. The insecurity and worry she faced daily, for him… because of him.

He could feel her love for him, clear as day, bright as sunshine, in the taste of her blood.

It was that feeling, her love, that sent him crashing over the edge.

With a half growl, half cry, he felt his body explode, releasing himself into her keeping, knowing she'd capture him when he fell. As the most intense sensations passed, he gently withdrew his teeth, licking the two wounds gently until they stopped bleeding.

For a while, he simply floated, enjoying the feel of her body draped over his. He'd never experienced anything like that before. Sex had never been that earth shattering. Even with Buffy.

He frowned as he slowly began to put the pieces together, hands still gently stroking Cordelia's back as he held her against him, soothing them both.

He'd just experienced true joy, true happiness. He had no doubt of that, he knew his feelings well enough to know. It hadn't been like it had with Buffy. It was totally new, totally different, totally unexpected, but none the less real. As real as anything, and more powerful than any connection he'd ever made before, Buffy included.

And by rights of the curse, he should be Angelus.

The thought brought him to a complete standstill.

He should be Angelus.

He'd just experienced total joy and true happiness.

He should be Angelus.

He was lying here, with a sated, drowsy Cordelia, whose blood he had just taken.

He should be Angelus.

But he wasn't.

Which could only mean one thing, and he couldn't bring himself to believe it.

Cordelia must have sensed his sudden illumination by the stillness of his body against hers, because he suddenly felt her move, lifting her face until their eyes were level. He felt the stunned comprehension hit him as he read the truth in her eyes, and in the lone tear that slipped down her cheek.

She'd felt him stiffen against her, and knew, in that heartbreaking moment, he'd finally begun to process what had just happened between them. And while a part of her rejoiced at being able to share such an experience with him, to make love to him, and end it all by looking into Angel's eyes, not a demons, part of her wept inside as she realized it was time to face the consequences.

Had she really expected anything less?

She felt a tear slip down her cheek as she closed her eyes, wishing to all the fates that she didn't have to do this, but knowing she had no other choice. Their actions had made it irreversible.

"Angel… there's something I need to tell you," she said softly.

She watched as his eyes suddenly changed, comprehension dawning, crystal clear and sharp as a bell. She felt her heart break as she confirmed his thoughts.

"Your soul is permanent… welcome to your new life," she whispered softly, feeling his arms drop as the shock hit him full force. She struggled to keep her own tears at bay, knowing she couldn't show any weakness at this point. But it was killing her deep down inside. She only hoped he couldn't see that.

His soul was permanent?

Had he heard her right? It couldn't be true, could it?

The look in her eyes, the tears he could see she was struggling to hold back, told him it was.

By some miraculous turn of events, he'd been granted a reprieve. His soul was permanent. Angelus would never be free again. He could live without fear of his evil side for the first time in years.

"My soul… it's really permanent? You're sure?" he asked, still sounding confused, wondering if this was a cruel joke the fates were playing on him.

He knew it wasn't as he read the truth in Cordelia's eyes.

"It's the truth, the oracles told me last night… I was trying to figure out how to tell you… and well, things got carried away," she said softly, almost shyly, dropping her gaze from his.

His mind was still reeling at her words.

"The oracles told you? You went to them without telling me? Why?" he asked, wondering what had led her there.

She sighed before replying.

"I had a vision… a very bad one, and I needed to know if it could be prevented, so I went to them to ask, and in the end, they ended up telling me about your soul," she said softly, still refusing to meet his gaze.

"What kind of vision Cordelia?" He asked softly, watching the pain come into her eyes, and wishing he hadn't spoken.

"It was … of you… dying," she whispered, feeling another tear break free, helpless to control it. She sniffed as she felt him reach up and gently brush the tear away.

"You had a vision of my death, and you went to the oracles to try and prevent it… for me?" he asked, his voice low and hoarse, compelling her to raise her head and look straight at him.

"I couldn't lose you Angel, I was terrified, I had to go… and look what you got out of it," she tried for a lighter note but failed as another tear escaped.

Angel's mind was working at hyper-speed. His soul was permanent. Angelus was gone. Cordelia had gone to a place and people she feared in an attempt to save him. And she'd ended up doing just that.

He suddenly realized how his life was going to be different, and all the things he could finally let himself experience. He was truly free.

But free to do what?

As he looked back at Cordelia, he saw another tear slip down her cheek. His heart suddenly stilled as he realized why she'd been upset the night before.

She'd known, and she'd been agonizing over how to tell him. Agonizing about what it would mean, to him, to her, to their lives as they knew them.

So what did it mean?

He didn't know, and he wasn't sure he could deal with that revelation at this moment. He'd just had the most incredible sexual experience of this life, knowing he had real feelings for this beautiful girl. And while that beauty and awe still throbbed throughout his body, his mind was already moving ahead, as it so ordinarily did.

What did he do now? There were some major decisions to be made… and he suddenly didn't feel like making them. Especially since he could tell how upset Cordelia was. He could read the happiness and pain mixed in her eyes, and knew things would never be the same.

So he took the cowards way out, knowing he'd regret it, but unable to process more than one coherent thought at a time. And that first thought was to get away, and deal with this new information on his own, as he always had. He wasn't used to having people to depend on, and while he knew Wesley and Cordelia were both there for him, it was still hard to come to them with his problems.

This was something he needed to figure out alone.

"Cordelia… I don't know what to say, I can't believe this… I just…" he trailed off as she put a finger over his lips.

"Angel, it's okay, I know you need to think, to absorb all this… so go, brood, do what you have to, but accept it… for better or for worse, your soul is permanent, your life is your own, you can do with it what you will," she whispered softly, fighting back the flood of tears.

"I have to think… God, I know this is a horrible time," he stuttered again, then stilled as he felt her slowly roll off him, and slide back onto her corner of the sofa. He felt an emotion he couldn't describe as he read the joy and sorrow and pain in her eyes. Put there because of him… because of the choice he was just realizing he had to make.

"Go… make your choice… just remember me, remember this… and know that I love you," she whispered her heart in her eyes as she said the words.

He sat there, stunned and unsure he'd heard her correctly.

Had she just said she loved him?

She had.

The agonized joy he felt at her words stunned him. The words were exactly what he'd wanted to hear from her, but at the present time, he couldn't even process them on top of everything else. It was too much to deal with, too much complication. He couldn't handle it.

Damning himself for what he was about to do… he braced himself against the beautiful eyes staring so sadly back at him.

"I have to go," he managed, getting up and stumbling around until he somehow had his clothes back on.

Cordelia remained silent, watching him with steady eyes. She'd masked her emotions, and while a part of him cursed himself for driving her, driving them to this state, he just couldn't deal with it right now.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered awkwardly, turning suddenly and running from the room. He didn't hear the front door slam behind him as he took off like a bat out of hell, trying to blind himself to the defeated and tormented look in Cordelia's eyes he'd seen as he'd left.

He knew he had been a real jerk, and probably hurt one of the few people who truly cared about him in the world. He knew he'd regret it. Knew he'd probably screwed things up royally.

But he was too confused to do more than run right now. He had to be alone, he had to think. He had to figure out the mess his life had suddenly become.

He finally had what he'd struggled so hard for. Peace of mind, and a permanent soul. It was what he'd wished for, and tried to find for almost two centuries.

Now he'd found it… but realized he was worse off than he'd ever been.

What was he going to do?

He finally made it home, just as the sun peaked over the horizon. He collapsed onto his bed, mind still a whirl with his disturbing thoughts.

As he felt a deep sleep overcome him, his last thought was of the look in Cordelia's eyes as she'd watched him leave.

Cordelia was numb all over. She hadn't moved since Angel had run from her apartment. Run from her. Run from the life they'd made together in LA.

Had she really expected anything else?

She'd known she had to tell him… and tell him she had, in a way she was never likely to forget.

She closed her eyes, letting the tears finally fall as she replayed the wonderful lovemaking they'd shared knowing deep inside it had moved him as much as it had her. She knew she was taking a risk by telling him she loved him… but she wanted him to know, to have it in his mind, as he left.

So she'd told him… fighting the pain and hurt when he didn't reply. Had she really expected him to? While he might have enjoyed their lovemaking… it obviously wasn't good enough, or meaningful enough for him to stick around and discuss it. Not when he could be making plans to head back to Buffy and his new life.

The thought hurt more than she had ever thought it could.

Angel had given her one night of pure joy, at least she had that to hold onto. And for the first time in her life, she'd given herself freely to a man, and known she was receiving everything in return. Even if he'd never admit it… a part of him loved her… she knew he couldn't have made love to her if he didn't love her in some way, even if that way wasn't enough.

The pain of losing him was worse than she'd thought… but she had no choice but to bear it. And bear it alone. She had no one to turn to, no one to tell, and no one to talk to.

By doing the right thing, and giving into her one selfish desire, she had made an incredible memory, but had most likely lost her best friend, and her life as she knew it, in the process.

She curled up into a tight little ball on the sofa as the tears streamed down her face. She'd just lost the one thing of value in her life. And even the beautiful memories weren't enough to stop the searing pain that tore through her chest, splitting her heart in two as she gave in to despair.

She felt truly and utterly alone.

So she cried until she couldn't cry anymore, and once the tears were gone, dry eyed, fell into an exhausted sleep, oblivious to the afghan that slowly moved from the floor, to gently cover her body; and the invisible hand that brought down the blinds, shutting the light out of the room and throwing its occupant into an oblivious darkness.

His permanent soul.

He shook his head, trying to clear the sleep from his eyes and brain.

His soul was back for good. Angelus was gone.

He couldn't believe it… but last night had been the proof.

He'd made love to Cordelia, and experienced what he couldn't deny as true happiness. There were no other words for what he'd felt… what he was still feeling today. It was incredible! He closed his eyes as he remembered the things she'd whispered to him, how her lithe little body had been on him like a second skin, the sound of her cries as he brought her unbearable pleasure.

The look of pain in her eyes as he'd gotten up and left her, without any reassuring words. Without telling her the incredible feelings he'd just experienced. Without telling her he loved her as much as she loved him.

He moaned, feeling his body become aroused. He sighed as he headed for a cold shower, trying to figure out what to do next.

He knew he had to talk to Cordelia, he could only imagine what she was thinking, what she was feeling. He wasn't kidding himself, he knew how much of a struggle it had been for her to tell him about his soul. Though he had to admit, he couldn't think of a better way to find out. But still, she'd cried herself to sleep over the matter, and had risked everything she held dear by telling him.

And he could sympathize with her fears. To put it bluntly, he'd pretty much acted on every one of them. Leaving her in the lurch, after making earth shattering love to her. Not responding to her declaration of love. Running out of her apartment without a backward glance.

She'd known he would struggle with this, and her words to him echoed in his head… as he realized she'd done a completely unselfish thing by telling him… she'd given him the choice, put the power in his hands. Instead of keeping it to hold over him, she'd freed him, but given him the burden as well.

"Go… brood, do whatever you have to, but accept it. For better or worse, your soul is permanent, your life is your own, you can do with it what you will…just remember me, remember this… and know that I love you."

The words pounded through his head like a mantra as he dried himself off and slipped on his clothes. He headed outside, knowing he needed to roam as he thought, as he decided where his life was going and what path he was going to chose. He'd recently told Lindsey about making choices, now it looked like he was going to have to take his own advice.

Cordelia loved him. Loved him enough to risk it all, knowing full well what his options were. And he had a pretty good idea he knew what she thought he'd do. After all, he hadn't given her any signs otherwise… had he?

He knew he'd been moody after his run in with Buffy and Faith. He'd been even worse when he'd come back from that miserable visit to Buffy and Riley. But those situations hadn't exactly been why he was so moody. Sure he'd been upset at seeing Buffy and Riley together… any former boyfriend would. But seeing them, knowing Buffy was trying to move on, and be happy, well, it wasn't as hard to deal with as he'd thought.

That's what had been bothering him. For so long, he'd held onto his love for the slayer, hoping someday, some way, he could earn her love again along with his soul and win them the right to be together. But while he'd been settling into LA, building the agency, and his relationships with Wesley and Cordelia, he'd begun to move on. He'd begun to accept that his life was here, with these people, with Cordelia, fighting the evil in the world. He'd begun to realize how attracted he was to Cordelia, and how much the two of them had in common. For a year, it had been Cordelia who he'd gone to with his problems, Cordelia who he'd relied on to keep him safe and grounded. Cordelia who knew more about his life than Buffy ever had. Cordelia who made him laugh and stop brooding, even if it was only for short periods of time.

He was moving on… and leaving Buffy behind. And part of him was torn. What he'd had with Buffy was hard to let go of. It was the first relationship he'd ever found happiness in. But he also knew, as he'd known from the start, that it wasn't meant to be, that it could never be.

But what could be was with Cordelia… and that thought scared him. Especially since he didn't know how she felt. She was always flitting in and out, dating different people, most of whom ended up being more trouble than they were worth. But she'd never actually seemed interested in him as more than a boss and best friend. And he'd wondered if he was feeling these things alone.

So he'd brooded, letting everyone think it was because of Buffy. He knew he'd convinced Cordelia of that, and he wondered if he'd done the right thing.

He'd hurt her, there was no question of that. He'd known he was going to, but he just couldn't face things. Not after having all his thoughts and dreams realized, as he heard her say she loved him.

So he now had two choices.

Go back and try to win Buffy back… wrecking the life she was so tentatively trying to put back together, but maybe able to reclaim what they'd once had. Reclaim something he wasn't even sure he wanted back, and hadn't wanted back for a while.

Or he could go back and try to make things right with Cordelia. He could put his past behind him, and go forward with the life he'd created here in LA. A life with his work, and Cordelia by his side. Free to love her like he'd wanted to for so long, like he had last night. Free to build a life with her, for as long as they might have. Free to live again, a new life, without threat or fear from his past… and with a woman who truly loved him, and whom he truly loved in return.

Was there really a choice?

The clarity that hit him was almost as bright as a flash of lightening.

He liked his life in LA… fighting the evils of the world, and helping save souls.

He liked knowing he was making a difference to people in his town.

He loved Cordelia Chase. He wanted to be with her… to work with her… to love her.

He felt a giddy smile cross his face as he slowed to a walk from his frantic pace. He'd made his choice… and it hadn't been that hard at all.

His choice was his life here and now… life with Cordelia.

Cordelia.

He frowned as he realized the state he'd left her in. She was probably a wreck… and it was all his fault. He quickened his pace, knowing he had to get to her, knowing he had to straighten things out before it was too late. He needed her. Needed to make her understand. Needed to fix the situation his fear and stupidity had created.

Angel was so involved in his thoughts, he didn't pick up the presence of the vampires surrounding him until it was almost too late. His supersensitive hearing alerted him at the very last moment of the attack… and he whirled around, managing to take the attacking demon by surprise with a punch that sent him flying across the clearing.

There were four of them, evil looking vampires, bent on killing him. From the looks in their eyes, he figured they knew who he was, they might have even been a part of the nest he'd broken up several weeks ago with the help of those kids.

He sighed hoping this would be over quickly. He couldn't afford to waste any time getting to Cordelia.

He dove into the fight, managing to take out two of the creatures with several well aimed punches, and a tree branch he'd somehow gotten a hold of.

The third was more tricky, and definitely more agile… but after a few quick moves, Angel watched him dissolve into a pile of ashes, the tree branch thorough his heart falling back to the ground.

He growled as he felt the final vampire attack him from behind. He struggled to throw the creature off his back, realizing this one had an extremely tight grip on his neck. He winced in pain and growled again as he felt the creatures fangs sink into his neck. Angel's superhuman strength kicked in again, as he managed, with some effort, to throw the creature off him. He felt a searing pain as the vampire's long nails raked bloody trails down his chest as he fell. Whirling around, Angel pounced, punching the vampire over and over again.

"Angel!"

The scream brought his head up, and his horrified eyes to Cordelia, standing there, watching him with fear and terror in her eyes.

He suddenly roared as his brief hesitation allowed the other vampire to slash again at his chest, opening more wounds. He fell backwards, the pain and dizziness assaulting him as he felt the borrowed blood seeping from his body. He managed to lock his hands around the other vampire's neck, struggling to hold him away, feeling the razor sharp nails again start to rip into his skin.

"Die you bastard!"

He heard Cordelia's scream, then suddenly felt the weight on his chest dissolve as the vampire shrieked and went up in flames, courtesy of the stake Cordelia had thrust into its back. He closed his eyes, sinking back against the ground as he felt his life's blood oozing out of him.

"Angel… my god, please be okay, please don't die…please…" Cordelia's broken voice was suddenly next to his ear as he felt her arms pull him close, holding him tightly.

"Need to feed…" he managed to whisper, knowing he had to get blood into his system or die. And dying wasn't something he wanted to do… not when he'd suddenly realized he had so much to live for.

"Here Angel, it's going to be all right, drink…" he heard her whisper, suddenly feeling the soft skin of her wrist against his mouth.

"Delia… no…" he managed, struggling to push her away, knowing he couldn't do this, even though his body was craving for the sweet taste of human blood.

"Angel, this isn't any time to be picky, now drink," he heard her say, trying to sound stern, but failing miserably as he heard the wobble in her voice.

Giving in, knowing she was right, he bit down, shuddering as her warm, salty blood coursed down his throat. He closed his eyes, letting his body absorb all Cordelia's thoughts and dreams, fears and worries, now a part of him, again, as her blood flowed down his throat.

He found himself almost overpowered by the love and fear he could taste, for him. The girl really and truly loved him, had been worried for him. It was awe inspiring and humbling at the same time.

Finally, knowing he'd taken enough, he pulled away, managing to kiss her wrist gently as she pulled him against her chest, rocking him gently against her.

"Delia… thank you," he managed, feeling her lips press a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Thank God you didn't die… you can't leave me, you just can't," she whispered against him, holding him closer. He closed his eyes and rested against her, letting her blood start to help him heal, letting her love for him wash over his system.

Any and all doubts he'd ever had had been settled in this one moment.

He loved her. She loved him. End of indecision.

"Angel, can you stand, we've got to get you home, and those wounds bandaged," he heard her whisper, sighing and nodding in response.

"As long as you don't let me go… we can make it… hold onto me Delia, don't give up on me yet," he managed, opening his eyes and staring deep into hers, willing her to see he meant every word.

Her tremulous smile was enough for now as she managed to get them both to their feet, Angel leaning heavily against her.

"I'm not leaving you… or letting you leave me, ever again," she whispered to him, helping him get his balance.

He smiled at her, then winced in pain as they began slowly moving across the clearing, heading for home.

It was going to be all right.

Angel, weak and hurting, attacking vampires, blood streaming from his body, his life force slowly fading as she held him in her arms.

She jumped up, managing to stumble around until she found her clothes. Uncaring of how she looked, she grabbed her keys, pulled a stake from her backpack, and ran out the door. She had to get to Angel. He was hurting. He could die.

Her vision was happening after all, she hadn't prevented it. All that pain and agony for nothing. Angel was still dying.

Not if she could stop it.

So she ran, not knowing where, but letting her feet guide her, hoping she wasn't too late.

A few minutes later she found herself entering the park across from her apartment, now able to pick up the sounds of a struggle. She increased her speed, holding the stake against her side, praying she wasn't too late.

The sight that greeted her was one out of her worst nightmare. Angel, struggling with another vampire, his chest a bloody mess of slashes, barely managing to hold the other creature off.

She couldn't stop from screaming his name, and saw him look up at her, disbelief and fear, for her, suddenly in his eyes. She cried out as she realized she'd distracted him long enough for the other vampire to push him back and was now the one on top, pinning Angel down as he struggled to fend him off.

Cordelia could see how weak her vampire was, and the sight enraged her. Her vision had prepared her for this, but nothing had prepared her for the white hot rage and fear she felt at seeing the man she loved so helpless. And after all they'd been through, all she'd done to try and prevent this, she was going to be damned if she let it end this way. Nobody hurt Angel and got away with it.

"Die you bastard!" she screamed, and charged, stake held high. The other vampire didn't stand a chance, and she almost growled in victory as the stake hit home and the demon dissolved into a pile of ashes with one, lone scream.

She moved quickly to Angel's side, seeing how weak he was from the loss of blood. She pulled him against her, heart racing, mind willing him to hold on.

"Angel… my god, please be okay, please don't die…please…" she whispered, feeling him stir against her.

"Need to feed," he whispered against her, so soft she could barely make out the words.

She cursed herself for not bringing a bag of blood with her, realizing she'd left in such a hurry she hadn't though about blood loss. Well, there was only one thing to do. With a gentle twist, she freed one arm from around him and pressed her wrist to his lips.

"Here Angel, it's going to be all right, drink…" she whispered softly, feeling him shudder against her.

"Delia… no…" she heard him whisper, resisting with everything in him. She sighed, knowing there was no choice, knowing this wouldn't be easy. But without blood, he'd die. And she'd come too far, risked too much already to let that happen.

"Angel, this isn't any time to be picky, now drink," she whispered, pressing her wrist harder against his lips.

With a sigh, she felt him give in, and winced slightly at the prick as his fangs buried themselves in her wrist. After a moment, she realized it really wasn't that bad, there was no pain, just an intense feeling of completeness and relief, knowing her blood would help him. She winced again as she felt him slowly withdraw his fangs, sinking back against her chest once more.

"Thank you Delia," she heard him whisper. She smiled, tears in her eyes as she pulled him closer, rocking him gently against her body.

"Thank God you didn't die… you can't leave me, you just can't," she whispered, knowing she meant the words, hoping he'd hear them, and take them to heart. She didn't care anymore, she just wanted him, wanted to be with him, and she'd take him anyway she could get him.

But right now, she had to get him to shelter, and bandage his wounds. She knew he'd heal fast, but she didn't want to take any chances of meeting any more creatures of the night.

"Angel, can you stand, we've got to get you home, and those wounds bandaged," she whispered, getting a nod and sigh in response.

"As long as you don't let me go… we can make it… hold onto me Delia, don't give up on me yet." His words brought the tears back into her throat as she sniffed and helped him to stand. Give up on him? Didn't he realize she never would?

"I'm not leaving you… or letting you leave me, ever again," she whispered to him, helping him get his balance.

She took a deep breath as she felt his weight leaning heavily against her. She felt his pain and heard his moan as they began to move. Luckily, they weren't far from her apartment, so that was where she headed.

What seemed like hours later, but was really only minutes, the two reached her apartment and Cordelia managed to get Angel up the stairs and into her bedroom.

"Stay right there, I'm going to get bandages and stuff," she said sternly, seeing his slight smile as he stretched out against her pillows.

"I'm not going anywhere," he managed with a grimace as he tried to settle himself comfortably on her bed. He knew he'd heal fast… but that didn't stop the pain he was in now.

Several minutes later, Cordelia was bandaging his chest, wincing with him as she cleaned and soothed each wound with antiseptic and a tender kiss. He smiled as he watched her fuss over him, liking the feeling of being cared for. With Cordelia, it just somehow felt right. Taking care of her, while she took care of him.

"Delia… I can't thank you enough for tonight… if you hadn't come, I don't think I'd be here right now," he said, seeing again the fear in her eyes as she met his gaze.

"I had to come. The vision came back, and when I saw you lying there, I just had to save you. I thought telling you about your soul, freeing you, would prevent it… but I guess I was wrong, God Angel, you almost died tonight," she whispered, feeling the tears escape as she again thought of how close she'd come to losing him for good.

"Delia, it's okay… I'm all right, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere," he soothed, pulling her against his side, wrapping his arms around her and holding her as tightly as he could without aggravating his wounds.

"I was so scared Angel, the thought of losing you… and not just to your past, but for good, I couldn't stand it… I can't bear to lose you Angel, I don't think I could survive without you," she whispered softly against him.

He closed his eyes for a moment, absorbing her words, and her love. He thanked whoever was responsible for giving him a second chance. He was going to make the most of it.

"You know, I was headed over here when they attacked me," he said softly, seeing her head rise, a question in her eyes. He placed a finger over her lips before she could speak. "I'd been wandering, thinking and brooding all night, trying to figure out where to go and what to do… and you know what I decided?" he asked, seeing her shake her head.

He sighed as he finally released his feelings, knowing he was finally truly loved.

"I decided that I couldn't leave LA, or the agency, or my work… but most importantly, I couldn't leave you," he whispered, seeing her eyes begin to glow.

"Angel… what are you saying?" she whispered, gaze locked to his.

With a tender smile, he looked deep into her eyes and gave himself into her keeping.

"I love you Cordelia Chase. You are my life… the only life I want, the only woman I want, and I want to be with you, to make a life with you, I love you," he managed, seeing the joy finally replace the doubt in her eyes.

"Oh Angel… are you sure… I mean, for so long, you've moped over … Buffy," she managed, but he stopped her with a gentle kiss. When he finally pulled away, he felt a tenderness he never had before as he pulled her close and kissed her forehead.

"I wasn't moping over losing Buffy, I was moping over the fact that it didn't bother me that she had moved on, because I was beginning to as well… to move on with you. But I didn't know how you felt, or if I had any chance, and I felt guilty about even thinking like that about you," he said almost ruefully, seeing the disbelieving expression on her face.

"Well, you certainly had me fooled, I thought you couldn't care less about me romantically. I mean, I know we're friends, and we trust each other, but still… you could have said something, anything," she said, a slight huff in her voice.

Angel smiled, realizing it truly was going to be all right, she was sounding more and more like herself. And he realized how much he'd missed her.

"I know… and I can't tell you how glad I am to know you feel the same… I'm not going to lose you either Cordelia… though at times I'm sure I'll want to strangle you, but none the less, for better or worse, I love you," he managed again before she reached up and kissed him.

Several minutes later she pulled away, taking a deep breath, and smiling at him.

"So we're in this together?" she managed, seeing him nod and smile.

"All the way, no turning back," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her again.

"I'm so glad your soul is permanent, in case I haven't told you lately," she managed to whisper as his mouth came closer.

He smiled as he hovered above her.

"I can't tell you how glad I am it's permanent as well… that means I can do to you exactly what you whispered you wanted me to last night," he said wickedly, seeing her eyes sparkle at his words.

"I can't wait," she managed before she pulled his head down to hers.

Angel sighed as he kissed her, pouring his love and joy into the kiss. He could feel her body responding as well.

And in that moment, Angel gave her his soul to keep. He knew she was the only one he could trust it with, the only one he'd ever wanted to trust it with, the only one he knew would keep it safe from harm.

With that thought in mind, he set about making all of Cordelia Chase's dreams come true, one at a glorious time.