Spoilers: Sense and Sensitivity

Cordelia didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Right now, she was pretty much struggling NOT to do one or the other.

Doyle had given up hours ago, and gone home, coward that he was, leaving her alone to deal with "Mr. Sensitivity" himself.

Had someone been listening when she'd complained about his insensitive attitude?

Maybe they had. Maybe they'd been listening too well.

"Cordelia… come sit down… let's talk about our feelings," she heard Angel call from the living room.

She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the wall. This was not happening. Really. It wasn't. Mr. Broody Vampire Boy suddenly wanted to talk about 'feelings?'

If only Angelus could see himself now.

She shuddered, pushing that thought aside. Too dangerous to go there right now.

"Cordelia… you can't hide from your feelings forever…" Angel's almost singsong voice set her teeth on edge.

Normally, she'd be thrilled that he was making the effort to emote, to try and be a more 'sensitive guy.' But then there was such a thing as taking something too far.

This was entirely too far.

Damn that cursed talking stick! Whoever cursed a stick to talk anyhow? It was really stupid. It wasn't natural. But then again, neither were the newer, kinder, more sensitive LAPD and head of Angel Investigations.

She sighed, wondering just how long "Mr. Sensitivity" would be around.

She knew she'd never forget the surprise and slight horror on her face as Angel pulled her and Doyle into a hug earlier that night. It wouldn't have been so bad, if he hadn't stunk to high heaven.

Then, to hear him nearly beat himself up over using 'threats of physical violence," well… she wondered if they were in the Twilight Zone.

She had to admit though, she did wonder if he really felt they withdrew when he vamped out. He'd actually looked quite adorable, standing there, worrying about how they perceived him. If she hadn't been so worried about the state of his mind and the entire LAPD… she might have been able to laugh at his sensitivity training.

And of course, her heart still beat triple time when she heard him ask if she 'knew how precious she was."

Precious to who? Him? Angel Investigations? Herself? She really wished Doyle would have let him finish his sentence.

The words were puzzling her and she wondered if she dared ask him what he'd meant. Come to think of it, she could potentially ask him a lot of questions she'd always wanted answers to. He might just answer them in his new 'sensitive' mode. It was worth a thought.

"Cordelia… if you're not out here in 30 seconds, I'm coming in to get you… you can't avoid your problems, you have to face them…" came his voice again.

Then again, maybe she would be better off leaving him alone. What was he, Mother Superior now? Come to think of it, hadn't she said something like that to Maria in "The Sound of Music?"

God, this was getting really scary.

She was remembering quotes from "The Sound of Music," while the most gorgeous man she'd ever known was sitting in his living room, wanting to explore their 'feelings.'

It was definitely the Twilight Zone.

She took a deep breath, knowing she had to face him sooner or later, knowing he'd follow through on his threat to come carry her out. So, as she carryed a mug of blood into the living room, she eyed the vampire warily.

He was sitting on the sofa, a smile on his face, watching her as she moved towards him. She gently placed the mug on the table, then moved away from him.

"Okay Angel, I fixed something for you, now why don't you drink it and go to sleep…" she tried, only to be cut off as he rose and blocked her path.

"Cordelia…you're not going anywhere until we discuss our feelings, it's been such an emotional night," he replied in a serious tone, smiling to soften his words.

Cordelia closed her eyes and sighed, making a note to kill Doyle for leaving her alone with the "Sensitivity Doctor" himself.

"Sorry Angel, you're definitely whigging me out tonight. I'm going home to get some sleep, and I suggest you do the same. You're whammied, but good… maybe it'll wear off by tomorrow and we can forget all about this," she muttered, trying to move around him, feeling her breath catch as he reached out and grabbed her arms gently.

"No, you're not leaving until we talk," he answered, his voice still singsongy as he pulled her back over to the sofa.

She sighed, realizing that she wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon. This was going to be one hell of a night. Maybe she should get it all out and ask him those questions she'd been dying to know.

She let him pull her down onto the sofa, managing to sit as far away from him as possible. She didn't trust herself to be too close to him, especially not when he was in this 'touchy feely' mood. She wouldn't be responsible for her actions. Enjoyable as they might be.

"So Angel, what are you so determined to talk about?" She asked him, trying not to jerk at the shock of electricity that surged through her body as he grabbed her hands. She tried to keep her breathing normal, but found it extremely difficult with the way he was looking at her.

What had she gotten herself into?

"Cordelia… I know there's all kinds of mixed up feelings inside you. Feelings that scare you, and that you're afraid to let out. But you have to… you'll feel so much better," he said soothingly, looking deep into her eyes.

Cordelia wondered how the hell she was going to pull this off.

"What are you now? Angel, Vampire Psychiatrist?" she asked, trying to inject some humor into the situation, knowing she had to say something.

"No, just a concerned friend who thinks his other friend keeps too many things bottled up inside her," he replied with a smile, moving slightly closer to her.

"Look who's talking," she muttered under her breath.

"I heard that, and believe it or not, I understand. It really is amazing what our parents do to us, isn't it?" he said, a familiar echo of his earlier words. Cordelia shivered, wondering where he was going with this.

"You think your parents did something to cause all this?" she asked, hoping he'd be distracted enough to stop rubbing his thumbs over her palms. She was fast losing her train of thought.

"Cordelia, you know how angry I was at my family, they didn't think I'd amount to anything, but I let that rage take over… and succumbed to Darla… and look at where's it's gotten me today," he said almost sadly, a contemplative look on his face.

Oh great. He was going into brood mode over becoming Angelus and his actions. This was really turning into a stellar night.

"Okay, fine, so you're angry with your parents. You, or I should say Angelus took out his anger by murdering them. You feel bad. You've gotten in touch with your inner child. You're asking for forgiveness now that you understand. Case closed, you move on," she said, hoping he'd get the point.

"Cordelia, you can't just bottle it all up inside, then expect to free it all in one fell swoop… now come on and tell me how you're feeling… what happened to you in your childhood to mold you into the person you are today? Did you have a good relationship with your parents?" He asked, sounding exactly like a shrink.

Oh god. Angel the Vampire Psychologist.

She couldn't take much more of this.

Well, if there was ever a time to be an actress, it was now.

"Fine you want me to emote, I'll emote. Clear and simple. Angel, right now, I'm feeling very, very whigged out at this 'sensitive side' of your personality. Not that I don't like the thought of you trying to be more sensitive… but you know, this overstated attempt at being nice really isn't working. You're much better when you're subtle, and even struggling a bit to notice things… I can't handle you while you're whammied," she said, hoping her voice didn't betray her nervousness at his closeness.

She felt her heart leap as he smiled gently at her. Damn the man knew how to look at a woman! Even when cursed by a 'sensitivity trainer.'

"Cordelia, you yourself told me to be more sensitive. I'm simply acting on your words, with a little help from a talking stick," he replied, sliding closer, gripping her hands even tighter.

Cordelia was finding it harder and harder to breathe.

"Speaking of talking sticks… what does one do to make a stick talk? I mean, obviously it's cursed, but you know, what does it say?" She asked, knowing she probably sounded as dumb as said stick, but not caring. Anything to divert Angel from his present 'sensitive' inquisition.

"You're changing the subject," he said in a cajoling voice, invading even more of her private space, his face unnaturally close to hers. She felt her pulse pounding as she let herself get lost in his eyes. His dark gaze held her captive, his thumbs gently stroking the palms of her hands.

She was in serious trouble.

And it was all thanks to "Mr. Sensitivity."

She'd take Brood Boy happily at this moment.

This was getting too close for comfort.

"Angel, come on…" she tried only to be cut off again.

"I'm sensing that someone really needs a hug," he said with a goofy smile. She felt her heart stop as he pulled her into his arms.

She bit back a groan as she felt his body envelope her, wrapping himself around her. This was going from bad to worse. But a very good kind of worse.

She finally let herself relax in his embrace, absorbing his freshly showered scent, glad he'd gotten rid of the stench she'd smelled when he'd hugged her earlier.

This was rather nice though. Being wrapped in his arms, breathing him in, feeling safe. She could get used to this.

Another dangerous thought.

She tried to pull back, groaning out loud this time as Angel refused to release her, only letting her lift her head to meet his gaze.

"You really need to get those feelings out, poor thing, you've got some serious 'hurting' issues… and they're festering inside you. I know you've been hurt by many people, Xander, Willow, your parents, Buffy…"

"You," she managed to chime in, figuring if he was going to dredge up her past he wasn't going to get off scot free either.

"Me," he conceded softly, stopping and catching her gaze again. "Okay, so I've hurt you, I'm sorry Cordelia. I didn't mean to," he said, suddenly going into 'guilt sensitivity' mode. She couldn't handle this right now. It was too surreal.

"Angel, it's okay. It's past. Over. Finished. Done." She replied, hoping he'd get the point and drop this entire conversation.

"No I have to get this out Delia," he said, looking troubled as he pondered his next words. Cordelia closed her eyes, resigning herself to listening to him. And who knew, "Mr. Sensitivity" might actually have something interesting to say.

"You know, I meant what I said earlier," he started quietly, turning back to meet her gaze.

"Meant what? The whole 'getting in touch with my feelings' mumbo jumbo? The 'I don't feel right about using my vampiric visage because we withdraw when you vamp out,' spiel? Or wait, maybe it was the 'sensitivity' you showed for a trained and hired mercenary killer? You said a lot Angel… what did you mean?" she asked, letting her frustration be heard in the tone of her voice.

"Actually, I meant when I asked you if you knew how precious you were?" he said quietly, reaching out to push a strand of hair off her cheek.

She closed her eyes, willing her body to calm down, knowing he wasn't himself right now. His inner soul would probably kill itself if he remembered this tomorrow. She suddenly wondered if he'd remember any of this. She could feel the blush climbing her cheeks as he continued to stroke her face gently.

"Cordelia… you're withdrawing again, I sense there's something you need to get out," Angel said, again turning her face up to his.

"What do you want me to say Angel? That you're really, really freaking me out? I think you can figure that one out on your own," she said almost desperately.

"It's okay Cordelia, I know how hard this is for you. It was hard for me to realize things about myself as well. I mean, the rage locked up inside of me, I didn't realize how destructive it was. I have to learn to let it out… or it's going to kill me," he trailed off, tightening his arms around her.

For a moment, Cordelia panicked wondering if by 'getting in touch with his inner rage' he meant letting Angelus free. She really wouldn't be able to handle him if that happened.

"Whoa there big fella, I think "Mr. Sensitivity" needs to remember exactly who appears when you get in touch with your inner rage. And when that happens, you're more dangerous than David Banner… except not as muscled, and you don't turn green, you just get all 'grrr' faced," she replied, wondering where the hell the Incredible Hulk analogy had come from. It seemed to fit though.

Angel sighed.

"I know…I meant it when I said you withdraw when I vamp out. You might not mean to, but you do, and I really hate that. I need the closeness we share, I don't want to lose that," he said softly, looking troubled.

Cordelia wondered if it was possible to kiss and strangle him at the same time. He was doing a major number on her nerves and her defenses. If he kept this up… who knew where they'd end up.

"But you know," he went on, "maybe if I got in touch with the rage, Angelus could change, he could see the error of bottling up that rage, and learn to talk about it, get it out…" he trailed off, eyes lighting up as he pondered the idea.

Cordelia felt her body chill. This was definitely not a good direction for this conversation to be going.

"Okay, enough. We're not going to go into your inner rage issues and we're not even going to think about it. We're just going to forget you mentioned it, and try to relax. Maybe this thing will wear off sooner that way," she muttered the last words under her breath, hoping he'd pay them some heed.

She heard him sigh again.

"You're right, let's just sit here for a while and cleanse our thoughts, really think about who we are and what we need to say to each other. It's good for the soul," he replied, moving slightly to pull her into his arms and settling her against him.

She sighed, wondering if she was going to regret this in the morning.

Probably they both would.

"Good for who's soul Angel? As I recall, yours is the one that needs redeemed. Mine's clear as a bell," she said brightly, hoping to steer the conversation away from Angelus.

"Come on Cordelia, you know that's not true," Angel said in a gentle voice, resting his chin on top of her head, pulling her deeper into his embrace.

She remained silent, figuring that was her best bet. Besides, she really didn't feel like talking, especially since it was much more enjoyable to revel in being wrapped in his arms.

"Well, if you won't talk about your feelings, at least think about them, try to admit them to yourself at least, okay?" he finally said, hugging her tightly.

"Okay, I'll think about it," she managed, feeling lethargy take over her body. She really was too tired to keep resisting him. There was something adorable about him acting all sensitive. Not that she wanted Mr. Sensitivity around permanently, but maybe for one night, it wouldn't be so bad. And maybe something of it would rub off on him. She smiled as she remembered the earnest expression on his face as he tried to express his feelings about them. It really was rather funny and sweet, in a strange, twisted sort of way.

"Cordelia…you really are precious to me," Angel said on a yawn, stretching out on the sofa, dragging her with him. She sighed as she relaxed against him, deciding to enjoy the moment as she felt sleep blanket her weary body.

"Good to know, especially coming from Mr. Sensitivity himself, although I bet you don't remember any of this in the morning," she mumbled as she drifted off.

"Bet I do," was his soft reply as he pulled her closer and let sleep carry them both away.