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Endings are Beginnings
Buffy slipped down the hallway, unaware of Willow's eyes following her. She quietly slipped into Cordelia's room, stifling a gasp at the pale figure that lay in the bed, hooked up to machines and tubes. "Oh Cordelia," she said softly, moving to the girl's bedside, feeling the tears threaten. She pulled up a chair then took the unresponsive girl's hand and began to speak. "Okay Cordelia, I know you can hear me, I know you're in there, and I know you know who this is. So listen okay. This isn't easy and I'm only going to be able to do this once, so please, hear me and know I mean what I say," Buffy said softly, feeling tears threaten. "I know you think Angel left you for me, but he didn't. The whole time he was back, he couldn't stop thinking of you. You were on his mind constantly, and there was nothing I could do to bring him back to me. I don't know what you did to change the vampire I knew and loved so long ago, but I can see now that you love him, and he loves you, in a much different way than he loved me," she went on, feeling a tear slip down her cheek. "You hold his soul and his heart in your hands. I may have been his past, but you are his future. And even though it hurts so much to admit it, I know it's the truth and so does he. We loved each other once, but that was a different kind of love and a different time. We needed each other to survive hell, and when we'd done that, we knew it was over. He needs you now, to survive the life you've made here. He's happier here, he's happiest with you, Sunnydale and I have no hold on him anymore. God it hurts to say that Cordelia, it really hurts. But I know what loving and losing Angel can do, it did it to me, and now it's doing to you. But you can't let it, you've got to fight it Cordelia. He wants you more than anything, and he's going crazy without you. So you have to come back, you have to give him his life back. He needs you, more than he ever needed me," she said earnestly, another tear slipping down her cheek. "You restored his soul to him, you gave him his second chance at life. So I give him into your keeping. He's mine no more Cordelia. He's yours. He loves you, and I'm okay with that. Part of me will always love him, but I know now I'm supposed to be with Riley. And though it hurts like hell to let go of him, I never really had him since he left two years ago. You have him now, and you have to come back to us to take care of him, he needs you like you need him. He loves you… so please come back Cordelia. Help make his future, his dreams a reality. You're the only one who can," she trailed off brokenly, laying her head against Cordelia's and letting the tears flow as she finally and truly said good-bye to Angel. She didn't feel the arms that closed around her or hear Willow's soft words as the other girl gently held on and let her sob, her hand still holding Cordelia's. When the tears finally slowed, Buffy turned and smiled weakly at her best friend. "You had to do it… and I'm so proud of you," Willow whispered softly, seeing her friend tear up again. "I know Willow, still, it hurts," she said, feeling her friend's arm go around her as the two turned to watch the silent, still figure lying in the bed. "Do you think she heard me?" Buffy asked hesitantly, seeing Willow nod. "She heard you, don't ask me how, but she did, and I think it's what she needed to hear," the other girl said softly, as they both turned and slowly moved from the room. Buffy dried her eyes as they headed back towards the waiting room, seeing Riley come to her side immediately. "Did you do what you needed to," he asked softly, seeing her nod, then bury herself in his arms. He held her tightly, knowing what she'd just done, and how much courage it had taken. He held her close, whispering his love, and thanking God she was his. Willow slipped back over to Giles, seeing the watcher eyeing her curiously. She simply nodded, then turned to catch Lindsay's glance. She nodded at him as well, and saw the lawyer relax back into his seat. Angel was still oblivious to everything around him, mind focused on Cordelia. He needed to see her again. He wasn't sure where the suddenly overwhelming need had come from, but he wasn't going to question it. "I have to see her, she needs me," he suddenly said, jumping from his seat and running from the room. The rest of the waiting room looked after him in trepidation, Wesley standing to go after him, but restrained by Buffy's soft voice. "Let him go, I think she's finally coming home," she said softly, exchanging a glance with Lindsay, then Willow. Wesley sat back down, staring carefully at them all, determined to get his answers later. *** Angel slipped into her room, still aching as he saw her small body lying so still. "It's me Delia, I'm back. Can you hear me? Please hear me, I need you, I need you so much!" he whispered brokenly, moving to her side, leaning down to rest his cool forehead against hers. "You have to come back, I can't live without you… I don't want to live without you. You're my future, my love, my hope. I can't do this without you, I love you…" he whispered brokenly, feeling a tear slip free and come to rest on her cheek. He didn't know what else to say. So he prayed.
* Cordelia was floating somewhere safe and warm. All the pain was gone and there was a beautiful white light beckoning her. It was such a beautiful, peaceful looking light, and it seemed to be calling her name. She drifted towards it, not feeling much of anything except the need to go further into the light. She though she felt something tugging her back, but resisted, knowing she'd find peace in the light. Nothing could hurt her there. "Princess…" She smiled as she heard his Irish accent, lilting still, calling to her from the light. She squinted her eyes, trying not to be blinded by the brilliant light, smiling slightly as she saw him appear, his smiling face making her feel like she'd come home. "Doyle… what are you doing in the light?" She asked, seeing him laugh. "I've been in the light for a long time now princess, in fact, it's something I'm still not sure how I got here, but it's great, better than I ever dreamed in fact," the half demon said lightly, smiling back at her. Cordelia sighed as she reached for his outstretched hand, feeling that what she'd left behind was okay, since she'd found a friend in the light. "So where are me? And are you going to lead me into the light? Or wait," she paused, smiling at him. "Wasn't that a line from 'Poltergeist' or something?" Doyle smiled and laughed, but then slowly, his face turned serious. "Who knows and who cares… but princess… the time isn't right for you to go into the light," he said softly, his tone sobering. Cordelia looked at him in puzzlement, wondering why he wouldn't let her into the light. "But why? It's so peaceful, so calm, nothing can hurt me there, please Doyle, take me with you," she pleaded, unsure why she suddenly felt such a need herself to go back, away from the light. "Princess," he said softly, reaching out to brush a strand of hair off her cheek, "you're still needed back in the real world. There are people who are counting on you to help them, to save them. And one person in particular who won't be able to go on without you," he finished quietly, seeing the pain dawn in his friend's eyes. "You mean Angel. Well, he's gone back to Buffy, permanently souled and all," she said softly, feeling the tears threaten again. "He might have, but he's not with her anymore… come here, look," Doyle said gently pulling her around to stare into the blackness behind her. But suddenly, it wasn't blackness anymore. Images began to take shape, and she felt her breath catch as she made out Angel's tortured face staring down at her prone body in a hospital bed. It was kind of freaky, seeing herself like that. She wondered if this was truly and out of body experience. But those thoughts were wiped away as she saw the tear fall down his cheek. "He's crying Doyle," she said softly, feeling the need to reach out and comfort him, keep him safe and make him happy again. "He's missing you princess. He's finally realized how much he loves and needs you, and it's tearing him apart. You have to go back to him, because only you can save and protect his soul," the half demon said with emotion, pulling her gently against his side. Cordelia was confused. "But Doyle, Buffy is his future, he said so himself, and I can't imagine, even if he's here now, that he'd stay with me. Why, when Buffy is always going to be there," she trailed off, feeling depressed again. "Maybe not… look now," Doyle said again, and vision shifted, changing to reveal the tearful face of the Slayer, standing over her bed. "Buffy? She's here?" Cordelia said softly, wondering at the tears on the girl's face. "Listen to her," Doyle said quietly. So Cordelia listened, and felt her eyes tearing up as she heard Buffy release Angel into her keeping. This couldn't be happening, could it? "Doyle… is this happening, does she really mean it?" she asked quietly, feeling tears of happiness threatening. "There's only one way to find out princess, go back and see for yourself," he whispered quietly, seeing her turn back to meet his gaze. "But what about the light, what about you? Can you come with me?" she asked, feeling tears threaten again as he shook his head and smiled. "My time on the earth is long over, but you, you're still his sear, his touchstone, his soul mate. He needs you like you need him. And together, you might just find the cure for his soul… and restore it to life," Doyle finished quietly, seeing a tear slip down her cheek. "I miss you Doyle, we both do," she said softly, reaching up to hug him tightly. "I know princess, but you'll see me again, I'm always with you don't you know, and someday, years and years from now, I promise I'll come and guide you into the light," he finished softly, gently releasing her and stepping back towards the light. Cordelia watched him go, a tear still glistening on her cheek. "Good-bye my friend, and thank you," she whispered after him as she felt herself begin to pull back into the darkness, watching him slowly fade from sight. "Good-bye my princess… I'll be around you just might not recognize me," she heard his voice echoing through the darkness as it suddenly engulfed her, flinging her through space. She felt fear invade her body, flying uncontrollably through nothingness, wondering if she would ever stop. Suddenly, she heard his voice, calling to her, guiding her, drawing her towards a very different sort of light. Another warm and welcoming one, but not the same as before. This one was strong and stead, and smelled of Angel? It was Angel, she suddenly realized as she stopped flying and landed, safe and sound, in his arms. She was safe. She'd found her Angel. "A… Angel…" she whispered softly, feeling him start, warm and sold against her. He almost didn't believe it when he felt her slightly stirring against his cheek. He moved back quickly, seeing her eyes start to flutter, her head move slightly on the pillow. "A…Angel?" he heard her whisper, her eyes slowly fluttering open. "Delia?" he whispered, too afraid he was imagining things. "Angel, you're here," she whispered softly. He felt another tear slip down his cheek as he leaned over her gently. "I'm here princess, I'm yours, I'm not going anywhere," he whispered, leaning down to brush a gentle kiss across her lips. He felt his whole body start to heal as he saw her try to form a smile. "Took you long enough," she managed to whisper. His laughter was rusty and almost hysterical as her words penetrated his brain. He moved closer, damning protocol and climbed into the bed beside her. She smiled slightly as he carefully wrapped his arms around her, resting his head against hers, breathing her in, knowing everything was going to be okay now. "I know, but you're not getting rid of me ever again," he whispered softly, feeling her snuggle her head closer against his. "I know, Doyle said I had to take care of you, that you needed me, he said I had to come back to you, and I'm never letting you go again," she whispered, falling into a gentle sleep against him, a smile on her face. Angel closed his own tired eyes, thanking Doyle or whoever had brought her back to him. He'd found his future, and he was never going to lose her again. As the happiness settled over him, he finally let himself rest, her warm body drawing him down into sleep, content for the first time in weeks. He was finally home. Lindsay watched them quietly from the doorway, offering a prayer of thanks that she was going to be all right. Then, with one last look, he quietly turned and disappeared down the hallway. And as he left, he could swear he heard lilting Irish laughter follow him down the hall. The End |
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