Cordelia wondered if her day could get any worse. She rubbed her head as she felt the headache throb behind her temples. She closed her eyes, trying to put the disastrous audition from the morning behind her. She didn't know if she could take any more rejection, it hurt too much. Besides, she had enough to deal with in her daily life at the agency to worry too much about a failed audition.

She smiled slightly as she thanked whoever had led Angel to that party two years ago. Despite her initial hesitancy about seeing him again… it had been destined that he find her. It had probably been destined that her acting career never worked out either, freeing her to open Angel Investigations with him. It had probably been destined that they all find each other as well. Over the past two years, the three of them had truly become a small family. Even Doyle, though not physically there, was always a part of them.

And ever since the whole 'un-ending vision' thing… she'd realized there was much more to life than simply trying to act. A realization she knew none of the Sunnydale gang would believe, coming from the former May Queen herself. Who would have thought that the former 'Queen C' of Sunnydale would end up suffering from painful, gut wrenching, terrifying visions… and doing it willingly to 'help the hopeless?'

Oh, she still kept up with her auditions, though they were few and far between anymore. She'd concentrated on helping those in need in LA. In some ways, she had become the total opposite of the Cordelia of Sunnydale High School fame. How ironic that only Angel and Wesley knew it.

But still, a part of her, deep down inside, knew this was where she belonged. In LA, fighting the good fight with Angel, her souled soul saver. In her own strange way, minus the ickiness of the demons they battled, she was happier here than she'd ever been. Angel and Wesley knew her better than anyone, and accepted her for who she was. And not just because she was Angel's seer. Because, strange as it sounded, they'd come to rely on her, and she them. She was right to call them a family. An odd one maybe, but a family none the less.

She smiled as she felt the headache fading and tried opening her eyes slowly, taking a moment to adjust to the dim light filtering into the room as the sun sank below the horizon. She felt her heartbeat quicken as the last rays of light disappeared, knowing Angel would soon be rising. It was a feeling she'd grown accustomed to over the past few years.

She smiled and closed her eyes again as she imagined his handsome face, brooding or not, puzzling over some case, or filled with worry as he tried to save the world. Of the tenderness in his eyes every time she got into a stupid scrape and he appeared to bail her out. Of the laughter she could elicit from him with a strategically placed remark about someone or something. Of the joy she felt every time he smiled. Smiles which, over the past few years, had come more and more often. She knew he still thought of Buffy, and still loved her in some way, but she was finally beginning to hope that maybe he was starting to realize the Slayer wasn't his future. LA and Angel Investigations were.

She sighed, frowning slightly at the thought that he could still be pining for Buffy. Well, at least he was happier. And until she knew for sure how the wind blew, she'd keep her own growing feelings for her boss under wraps. Not that it would be an easy thing to do.

She fell more in love with him each day. And not just his lightness… but his darkness as well. She might not have experienced what he had over his two hundred some years, but she knew what it was like to love and lose someone, and she knew what it was to put on a front for the entire world. They'd both left painful ties in Sunnydale, but had succeeded in creating a brand new life here in LA. The life she firmly believed they were meant to lead. They were a lot more alike than they knew, and something about that thought comforted her immensely. Brood Boy and the May Queen fighting the scourge of LA. Who would have thought?

She opened her eyes and smiled as the outer office door opened, and she heard Wesley's cultured voice announcing his presence. He really was annoying at times, but over the past year, he'd become invaluable to them both. Besides, Cordelia had to admit, he did have the ability to crack her up… as well as save her life now and then. He provided the humor and reasoning both she and Angel needed to keep them sane and the demons at bay. There were times when Cordelia found herself wondering if Doyle had somehow sent the ex-watcher to them after he'd gone. She liked the small comfort that thought brought.

"Cordelia… are you in here?"

"In here Wesley…" she called back, watching him enter the room throwing a distracted smile her way as he dumped the pile of books he was carrying on top of the table.

"Cordelia… good to see you looking well, especially after the hell of the past week, you're sure you're okay?" he asked as he settled down into a chair and turned a concerned gaze her way.

She smiled slightly then grimaced as the events of the past few weeks came back to her.

"Yes, I guess so. Part of me still cringes when I think how close Angel came to an encounter with the sun, or I feel the yucky slime of that demon that held me prisoner…" she shuddered, lost in the memory, before shaking herself and finishing her sentence. "Well, at least we beat the great evil, and lord willing, Darla will never show up again. If we're doubly lucky… Wolfram and Hart won't reappear again either," she finished seeing Wesley nod.

It had been rough, but after Angel had finally discovered it was Darla the firm had raised that night so long ago… Darla who had been quietly plotting Angel's demise for almost a year… Darla turning LA into her own personal battleground… well she was hopefully a force to worry about no more. The entire firm of Wolfram and Hart, Lindsay included, had disappeared the day after the epic battle that had nearly gotten Angel, Wesley and herself killed. They'd simply vanished, their offices empty, not a trace to be found.

Angel said they were gone for good, he could sense it. Cordelia wasn't so sure, but refrained from commenting, still in a rather bruised state herself from being held prisoner by a rather slimy demon. Besides, she was enjoying having Angel fuss over her, and getting to fuss over him, attending to his injuries as they both healed together.

Angel had seemed freer since the epic battle too. He laughed more, he brooded less, and he seemed to have a new zest for life. Both she and Wesley were amazed at the change, though the former watcher chalked it up to yet another prophecy in the scroll. Cordelia didn't care at this point, all she knew was that Angel was actually somewhat happy, and it was a pleasant change from his brooding and self recrimination.

"So," Wesley suddenly interrupted her musings, "didn't you have an audition this morning? How'd it go?"

Cordelia sighed, getting set to make up some humorous story about yet another failed audition, when the office door burst open and Angel bounded into the room, a huge smile lighting up his gorgeous face. Cordelia had to catch her breath at the picture he made, the dark duster still swirling around him, his handsome features overcome with pure joy.

Wait a minute.

Pure joy?

Cordelia felt her smile fade as she became aware that her boss looked entirely too happy. She felt a sinking sensation as he began to speak.

"I can't believe it. I just can't believe it," he kept repeating over and over again, his eyes taking on a dazed look as he paced around the room, unable to keep still.

"What can't you believe? And why the I'm-so-happy-it's-not-normal face?" Cordelia asked, hoping her voice didn't sound as anxious as she thought it did. Obviously, Angel didn't think so, or he wasn't paying attention as he rambled on.

"Even though I knew they were dead, I felt this terrible need to see the oracles, like they wanted to tell me something, so I went and invoked them, and there they were, at least their spirits," he started and Cordelia felt her entire being freeze as one possible reason for his extreme happiness hit her.

It couldn't be… could it?

"So I asked why they'd called me, and they told me… well, they told me," he couldn't finish, his words trailing off, eyes glazing over.

"Told you what Angel… get coherent man, you're scaring me!" Wesley's voice brought Angel back and Cordelia watched as he struggled to control himself.

"They told me my soul was permanent! By defeating Darla… I saved the world, and proved myself worthy in TPB's eyes. So they told me my soul was permanent, and no one, no curse, no demon, no nothing could take it away from me ever again!"

He nearly shouted the words, suddenly spinning around and heading straight for her. Cordelia gasped as he pulled her out of the chair and whirled her around the room. Cordelia tried to catch her breath, his happiness, and his nearness, nearly making it impossible, but she wasn't going to complain. It felt too good being in his arms.

She had to fight a fierce sense of regret as he gently placed her back on her feet and turned hug Wesely. She almost laughed at the former watcher's stunned expression, trying to absorb the fact that Angel was actually showing some physical expression. And while part of her was rejoicing at Angel's news, another part was growing fearful as she realized what this could mean for them all.

"Congratulations Angel, I'm really happy for you," Wesley managed when the vampire released him, struggling to conceal his embarrassment as Angel sent another brilliant smile Cordelia's way.

"I can't believe it… after all this time… I don't have to worry about Angelus returning. It's like a dream come true…" he managed, suddenly collapsing into a chair as his energy gave out.

"Well, I supposed there's another benefit to all this, your permanent soul is a pretty good first step to becoming human as the scroll foretells, isn't it?" Wesley asked, seeing the vampire's eyes light up at the words.

"I didn't think about it Wesley, but yeah, I suppose it is a great sign… of course I still have all those plagues and evils to deal with, but at least I don't have to worry too much about Angelus being set free to wreak destruction on the world," the vampire finished with an amazed smile.

Cordelia remained silent as the two men continued to debate the meaning of this momentous occasion, something dying deep inside of her as she waited for the biggest revelation of all to hit Angel.

She didn't believe the pain she felt when it finally dawned on him. She felt everything inside her shrivel up and die as she watched his eyes change as the revelation came over him, his words cutting her to the core.

"Do you know what this means? Buffy…" he almost whispered, his mind suddenly grasping the possibilities, "I can be with Buffy now…" he trailed off, still trying to grasp the image.

Cordelia felt her heart shatter at the words, an incredible spear of pain searing through her body, making her feel as if her heart had just been torn into a million pieces.

Her worst fears were coming true. He was going to go back to Buffy. Back to his first and only love. Leaving the life he'd made here, with her. It was written all over his face. And it cut like a knife to see his happiness reflected painfully throughout the room. She'd never felt this kind of searing, soul destroying pain, even from a horrifying vision. It felt like she was being skewered by hot pokers, radiating excruciating pain to every part of her body. She wondered if she could just curl up and die right then and there.

But damned if she'd let anyone see her pain. Cordelia Chase had an image to protect, and she dug deep inside herself to put back up the shield she'd erected around her heart so long ago. A shield that had been weakening over the past two years but was now back up in full force. She didn't know where the strength to hide her pain came from, but she managed to force a smile.

She wasn't letting him see her pain, not even if it killed her.

After all, Buffy was his destiny, he'd never denied it, and somewhere, deep inside, she'd always known it. Nothing had changed over two years, she'd been stupid to think it would. So now, she'd have to put on a brave face and deal with the moment. Act happy for him. The biggest acting job she'd ever performed in her life.

How ironic. Where was a casting agent when you needed one?

"Delia… say something…" she heard Angel say, and came back to herself, pasting on the smile and trying to think of how to reply.