Part Two

Rupert Giles slowly walked down the hospital corridor, past the information desk toward the elevators. Pressing the up button, he waited nervously, his hands stuffed in his pants pockets, his head bowed down in thought.

It was times like these that he felt the world had already gone to hell.

He had lived through nearly every imaginable catastrophe the Hellmouth had to offer, lost many friends and loved ones to fate, chance, or the evils of hell. Seen so many horrible things and yet still would never get used to it. Never use to the loss, never use to the pain, and never use to those being in pain around him. Last night he had seen a girl in so much pain that this morning she had to block the entire experience out to save her sanity.

Perhaps it was better than the alternative. Better than what he had seen last night.

When he had opened his door last night and found her on his doorstep he didn’t know what to think or say or do. What he saw before him was a person in shock, a person in so much pain that they couldn’t feel anything.

There was nothing you could do for somebody who was in that state. He knew that from experience. At that point you are beyond the help of anybody.

But even still, knowing that he was utterly helpless in being able to somehow alieve her pain, he had felt that he had to try.
 

He had tried...

~*~*~*

Quietly they stared at each other, each unsure as to how to break the silence between them. Her face revealed nothing of what she had witnessed that night, nothing of the turmoil he knew she must be in.

But when she finally spoke... all he could hear was her pain.

“Giles,” she began weakly. He winced inwardly at the tone of her voice and watched as she struggled to meet his gaze, her lips trembling trying to form words but unsure of what she wanted to say. He reached out to take her hand and she quickly took a step back. He paused, the last thing he wanted to do was scare her off, not in the state she was in. She remained where she was, hidden in the shadows, her stance uncertain.

“Cordelia, please, come in,” he said kindly, moving aside to let her pass. She stared at him warily for a moment, her red rimmed eyes searching his face. Finally she silently walked past him, into the house and stopped just inside the doorway.

Closing the door behind her, Giles gestured towards the couch. “Please, sit down.” Again she hesitated a moment before taking a seat in the chair across from the couch.

The silence that was between them was broken after an eternal minute.

“I suppose you’ve heard by now about... what happened.” She swallowed hard, staring off into the space in front of her.

Giles moved from behind her to sit on the couch in front of her. “Yes, Cordelia, I’ve heard. As have the others.” He paused as he realized that she wasn’t looking at him, but through him. Part of her wasn’t in the room with him, part of her was reliving it all again, over and over again in her mind.

“Cordelia,” he leaned towards her, trying to get her to focus on him. “I am so sorry for your loss,” he said sincerely. Her eyes remained distant, but she acknowledged him with a nod and flitting, sad smile.  “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“You can tell me that you and Buffy got that bitch,” she said in a voice tight with anger. Her eyes finally focused in on his. “You can tell me that you got her.”

His silence was the only answer.

She blinked away, pressing her lips tightly together as she processed the information. “You didn’t get her,” she breathed and Giles reluctantly nodded his head.

“I’m sorry,” he began again but she cut him off.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault,” she said softly, closing her eyes. “I mean it wasn’t like you knew she would-“ she cut herself off bringing a hand out of her pocket to brush back her hair.

Watching her, Giles was left speechless.

It had been even worse than he had imagined.

“Cordelia, I think you should-“

She sat up. “I…grabbed this,” she began to unbutton her coat with one red hand. “She dropped it on her way out.” She opened her coat to pull out the object to which she referred and revealed her shirt and pants also covered in blood.

He quickly went over to her. “Cordelia are you hurt anywhere? Did she hurt you?”

She looked down at him in confusion and shook her head. “No. Why?”

He glanced down at her clothes and then at her hands before looking back up at her. “You’re covered in blood.”

She blinked fuzzily at him and shook her head. “No…I…” she pulled her hand out of her pocket and handed him the object that it held. “Here.”

His eyes went to her hand, red and sticky with blood, and he took the object gently from her grasp.

“Maybe it can help you guys somehow,” she cocked her head to one side. “Will it?”

He looked down at it and slowly nodded. Looked up at her he replied, “Yes, yes it will.”

She nodded and broke her gaze from his. “Good.” She said in an almost lighthearted voice. “Well,” she frowned slightly and then shrugged it off, “ I guess that’s it then.” Giles placed a hand gently on her shoulder.

“Cordelia, you look exhausted. Why don’t you lie down here and rest.” She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I should go,” she said. “Good luck with everything.” She quickly pushed herself up and walked around the table, towards the door.

Giles quickly got up and followed her.“Cordelia, I can’t let you leave right now. You shouldn’t be alone.”

“I’ll be fine.” She said flippantly and reached for the door.

“No, I’m afraid you won’t” Giles said sternly grabbing her hand from behind. She kept her back to him.

“Let go of my hand,” she said tightly.

“Not if you plan on leaving.” he returned. He wasn’t about to let her leave and go off into the night. Not in the condition she was in and not with the danger that she could still be in.

“I said let go of my hand,” she repeated, her voice wavering in a mixture of anger and despair. When he didn’t release her, she turned around trying to jerk away from his grasp. Still not free she began hitting at him, screaming at him to let her go, her screams quickly mixing with sobs. Finally in a desperate move she wrenched her left arm and with as much force as she could muster threw her right fist, connecting with his jaw. He let her go in surprise and she fell back against the door onto the floor.

She quickly scrambled up and turned back to the door pulling at the door handle with little success. She looked down at the door and saw the dead bolt. Bringing her hand up to turn the knob she suddenly froze, her desperate escape ceasing as she stood in a trance staring down at her hand.

Giles rubbed his jaw and turned back to Cordelia when he saw she hadn’t moved and cautiously went over to her.

“Cordelia?” he said quietly as he made his way around her. She didn’t move.

He reached out a hand to her shoulder and gently turned her around towards him.  She was looking down at her hands, her whole body trembling, a look of utter horror on her face.

“Cordelia, I need you to look at me. Look at me!” he commanded grabbing her by the shoulders.

She continued to stare at her hands, shaking her head and whispering “No” over and over again. Backing away from him until her back was pressed against the door, she slumped to the floor hugging her hands against her chest, her face crumpling as she began sobbing.

“Cordelia?,” Giles tried again kneeling down next to her. “Cordelia, its Giles. Can you hear me?” He watched helpelessly as she buried her head in her arms, curling up in as tight a ball as she could muster.

Silently sitting next to her, Giles pulled the girl to him and wrapped his arms around her protectively as he did the only thing he could do and let the heartbroken girl grieve.

*~*~*

He had known that that would not be the end of her despair, by no means did he believe that she would be able to recover from this tragedy any time soon. But for her to have completely blocked it out, for her to completely forget about the past year-

It just showed how deep the damage was. How deep and perhaps irreparable all of it was for her.

He honestly wondered how she would survive this.

Stepping out of the elevator, Giles paused to ready himself to see her. Xander had told him about the events that occurred earlier that afternoon and he knew exactly what the poor boy felt as he watched Cordelia slowly break down in front of him. Xander could barely even talk, much less muster up a wisecrack or joke to try to bring any kind of levity to all this.

It was all too overwhelming for them to handle. It had meant to be just that.

Giles shook himself and started down the hallway, his eyes narrowing as he saw several nurses run in and out of the room where Cordelia was staying. Quickening his pace he pushed into the room and found the bed empty.

“What’s going on?” He turned to the nurse with a sinking feeling of dread. “Where is she?”

The nurse looked at him shook her head. “We don’t know sir.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” He looked at her in anxiety. “Is she out for tests or-

“No sir. One of her restraints is broken, the others unbuckled. She wasn’t scheduled for anything this afternoon after the episode earlier.” She paused. “It looks as if she’s just up and left.”

Giles quickly went over to the bedside table and picked up the phone, dialing Buffy’s number.

As if things couldn’t have gotten worse. Now they had Cordelia, pushed practically beyond her mental limits, missing, wandering around Sunnydale. She was in no condition to be alone inside the hospital much less out wandering the streets. In here they at least knew she was physically safe.

Out there……it was doubtful she’d survive long.

He hung up the phone, having gotten no answer, picked it back up and tried the school library.

He had to find the others, he had to get them to go look for her, they had to find her, they had to find her before things went from bad to worse.

*~*~*

Pressing against the wall to keep herself hidden, Cordelia slowly made her way down the quiet, deserted street. She kept a watchful eye out for anybody she knew or might know her or might be looking for her. She had managed to leave the hospital without anybody noticing her and she wanted to keep it that way. No doubt that soon they’d know she was missing, and begin searching. She was hoping she could stay a step ahead of them, doing what she had to do and then getting out of town.

Leaving everything all behind.

Mindful of the dark sky, she watched carefully for anything that might be even a remote threat, not that she had anything to fight with.  She wore the pajamas and shoes that Giles had given her and had taken a  coat from a closet that was down the hallway from her room at the hospital. No cross or stake. No holy water or cross bow. She was alone and defenseless.

Pausing at the corner of the street, she listened for a moment and looked to where she needed to go. A damn residential street with practically no lighting.  A nice little trap for vampires to wait for anyone stupid enough to walk down the street at this time of night.

She wasn’t stupid. She was desperate. She was desperate to go home one last time and then leave this town.

Desperate enough to walk through hell to do what she had to do. Or die trying.

She straightened her shoulders and looked both ways before crossing the street. She walked at a quick pace, despite the heaviness in her chest, the dread and fear insinuating itself through her veins. She ignored it and focused instead on the task at hand, focused on where she was and on  being alert for trouble, and how far it was until she reached her destination.

An animal cry sounded and like an idiot she stopped dead in her tracks.

It wasn’t as if it were totally unexpected.

She began walking again, jogging practically, as she sensed the danger approaching, pursuing her, and then finally catching up with her.

She stopped and let out a shriek as a vampire jumped out in front of her, knocking her into a car. Her head smacked the hood and she saw flickering dots float in front of her. Her body began sliding down to the ground, the wind knocked out of her and her head swimming.

Taking a few breaths she slowly lifted her head and looked in front of her and then to the left and right. Three vampires, waiting and watching to see what she did.

She’d never beat all three. Even if she had the strength to run, which she didn’t, she’d never beat them all.

Hopefully this would be quick.

It didn’t take them long to come up on her and she pushed herself to sit up against the car, her eyes going from one to the other, watching to see who would make the first strike. Suddenly the one on her right lunged forward and grabbed her by her already bruised throat. Jerking her up and pressing her against the car, he squeezed her throat slightly and she could suddenly hear the thundering of her heart in her ears.

“Hello pretty girl,” it said. “Can me and my friends play with you?”

She looked down into its eyes, into his insanity, and tried to speak but with his hand around her throat only a gargled whimper came out.

The vampire laughed and turned to his cohorts. “Looks like we have a playmate.”

Cordelia closed her eyes just as she was flung down to the pavement, the impact sending her into near unconsciousness. She waited for them to pounce, waited for them to attack, but they didn’t.

Not even bothering to look up she raised herself up slightly, half crawling and half dragging herself across the pavement, suddenly determined to continue on her way if the vampires would allow her. She only made it a few feet when the pounding in her head caused her to stop, her body going limp.

The last thing she was aware of were hands lifting her up and turning her over, seeing the black sky, seeing human eyes looking down at her in concern.

*~*~*

For the second time that day she was wrapped in that blissful confusion, that fleeting but real moment of safety and warmth being suddenly crushed as she came to herself and remembered, again, what she was trying so hard to forget.

The fog lifted away once again, the curtain lifted and once again the awareness came. And her grief.

She opened her eyes.

She stared silently at the scene before her, a table, a chair, curtains, the room familiar…

She closed her eyes, thinking, thinking…

Giles’ house.

Dammit. He’d found her.

“I called Willow and she’ll get Buffy and Xander over here as soon as she can.”

Her eyes popped open again.

Oz.

“Did you tell them about Cordelia?” she heard Giles ask.

“No. Just that we found her.” There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. “Do you think we should get her to the hospital? She was beat up pretty badly.”

“Normally I’d say yes, but,” she heard Giles sigh, “It might out her in more danger being in a location where she can be easily found.”

“It’s not like they wouldn’t suspect her being with one of us.”

“I know but-at least with us she’d stand a better chance of being protected.”

“You really think that Faith would come after her again? She knows we’re looking for her, that she’d never get close enough to do anything to her. Not anymore.”

“I honestly don’t know what to expect from Faith. I certainly never expected her to do all that she’s done. All we can do is wait and see.”

She didn’t want to listen to them anymore.

Sitting up she grunted as a sharp pain went through her side and her vision blurred. Holding her head in her hands she closed her eyes and tried to calm her mind so that she could think again.

“Cordelia,” she heard Oz say and she felt him next to her on the couch.  She quickly held up her hand and turned her head away and he stopped.

 “Bathroom,” she simply said.

“To your left,” she heard Giles say close behind her. She slowly got up, trying not to wince as another pain went through her left side, and headed for the bathroom. Locking the door behind her she leaned against it and took a long slow breath to settle herself.

She had to get out of here. She had to leave.

Her eyes went over to the small window next to the sink. Thinking quickly she turned on the sink faucet full blast and then went over to the window.

It was small and would be a tight fit, but that was the least of her problems. It opened out into a ditch behind Giles’ apartment. The jump would be a little high and extrememly messy.

But she didn’t have a choice at this point.

She had to get out of here.

She had to leave.

Glancing briefly over her shoulder, she turned back to the window and set to work, determined to be out and gone before the others arrived.

*~*~*

Oz looked over to the door suddenly, his brow furrowed in concentration as he studied the closed door. Walking over to it, he pressed his ear against the wood, his face showing little if any indication of what he was thinking.

“Oz?” Giles began getting up from his chair. “What is it?”

The boy kneeled down to the floor, placing his hand at the bottom of the door. Getting up quickly he looked up at Giles.

“She’s gone.”

“What?” Giles said as he went over to the door himself and began knocking on it. “Cordelia it’s Giles. Can you open the door?”

“She’s gone, Giles. I can feel cool air from under the door. She must’ve gotten out through the window.” Oz supplied as he watched Giles unlock the door. Of course the room was empty.
 

“Damn it,” Giles breathed as he hurried over to the window. “Where did-Why-?”

“Because she’s scared,” Oz answered.

“She knows it would be safer to stay here with us,” Giles began.

“She knows it would be better if she got out of town,” Oz replied.

“If they get to her before we do-,” Giles stopped and bowed his head as he thought. “Where would she go?”

“Airport? Bus station? Any means of getting out of town.”

“But she has no money or clothes,” he stopped and looked at Oz. “You don’t think that-“

Oz shrugged. “She might. No matter how much badness happened there, it is still her home.”

“But it’s still a crime scene,” Giles argued as he pushed past Oz and quickly went over to his closet to pull out a crossbow.

“Where else would she go? The only person she came to was you and now she’s left here. It’s as good a guess as any.”

Giles said nothing as he armed himself with stakes, holy water, and extra arrows. Grabbing his coat, he looked over to Oz.

“You stay here and tell the others what’s going on, I’m going to look for her. When they get here, split up and spread out the search.”

Oz nodded and watched as Giles quickly snapped an arrow into place and gathered his weapons. As he headed for the door, Oz suddenly spoke.

“Be careful Giles. We don’t know what they have planned next. It may not just be Cordelia next time.”

Giles briefly looked at the boy thoughtfully and gave him a short nod of acknowledgment before leaving the apartment.

*~*~*

Quickly, but carefully lifting her small bag over her shoulder, Cordelia Chase picked up the stake and bottle of holy water off her bed and strode hurriedly out of her bedroom. It would be the last time she set foot in the room.

She walked down the hall, ignoring the images that assaulted her as her eyes slid over the paintings on the wall, the carpeting at her feet, the house that had once been her home, but was now anything but. She no longer had a home, she no longer had a place here, in this town, on this Hellmouth.

Somehow she had gotten out of that window, and somehow she had gotten to the house without being attacked, and now she was almost there, almost free, almost away from this nightmare.

Almost.

She had managed to avoid coming in through the front door. Her reasoning being that she didn’t want anyone to see her coming inside. That was partly true, but not completely. Instead she had come in through the back entrance, used the back stairs to get to her room and get what she needed. But now she had to go down the front stairs to get to the kitchen. To get to the spare set of keys and quick cash that was kept for emergencies.

Keys and money that would get her out of this town.

But to get to the kitchen, she had to pass in front of the study.

That damned study.

She paused at the top of the stairs, a weight pressing on her chest as she was suddenly flung back to that night. When she had stood at the top of these stairs and listened and waited.

She had heard something crash downstairs that night. Had assumed it was a vase that her mother threw in her anger during one of her parents many fights. They had been fighting a lot lately. About money. About taxes or something. Her father was in trouble, that much she knew, but he and her mother had kept her out of it, like they did most everything, ignoring her and focusing on how it affected themselves.

It wasn’t as if she wasn’t use to that-their ignoring her. It had been that way for a long time. But never that way again.

Something about that night, something about that crash, told her that something else was wrong. She could feel it, she could sense it, something else was going on down there.

And so she had carefully made her way down the stairs, the sensation that something was off increases as she got closer, the feeling of dread increasing as she heard a heavy silence coming from downstairs. Not her mother’s crying, not her father’s tirades and rants.

Dead silence.

At first she thought that maybe, somehow, they had made up or just gearing up for the next round. They did that sometimes too.

But as she stood in the foyer and looked at the doors of the study, she knew that if they were fighting, the fight was definitely over.

She saw blood seeping from under the door.

Without even thinking she went to the doors and tried to push them open. There was something pressing against them and it wasn’t until she shoved the door open that she could squeeze inside to see that it was her mother sitting against the door.

Her mother.

Sitting in front of the door, on the floor, dead.

She hadn’t realized that she was next to her on the floor until she felt her hands were warm and slippery from having touched the body, touched her mother’s neck to feel for a pulse, touched her bloody red neck to search for a pulse that had stopped soon after her throat was slashed.

“Mother?” she remembered asking, or rather begging. She stared at the pale face, hazel eyes that were like her own, that had looked at her many times with some love and some indifference, dull and empty now.

Even still she hoped. Even still she scrambled up from the floor and over to her father’s desk. Even still she grabbed at the phone and instead of finding the receiver, found his hand. Cold. Still. Lifeless.

Her voice escaped her as she took in the scene before her. Her father, sitting in his chair, at his desk, face down on his desk. She ran around to him, her movements quick, hoping still hoping that maybe, just maybe…

She touched his shoulder and felt his wrist. “Daddy?” She leaned down to listen for his breathing, for his heartbeat, and found nothing.

“Daddy?” she said again, her face wet with tears as she stood there alone, and began to realize or at least understand what was happening.

Her parents were dead.

Her parents were…

She grabbed at the phone again only to suddenly have it jerked from her grasp. Or rather she being jerked away from it. Crushing hands wrapping around her throat and squeezing, squeezing so tightly…

Faith

Cordelia blinked and looked around the study, realizing that she had actually entered the room. Her body was rigid as she stood in the room, the images coming at her from everywhere, so vivid and so real, so very, very real.

She looked down at the floor where her mother had laid, her blood still on the floor, so much blood still on the floor.

Looking back up at the desk, past the pictures of her as a baby, past the pictures of her, her mother, and father on vactions and during the holidays, past the odd little collection of trinkets that she had made for her father in her naïve days of parent idolation, she saw her father’s dead body. She saw his white, cold face, kissing the top of the desk.

“Come to pay your respects?”

Recognizing the voice that came from behind her, Cordelia didn’t even bother to look up.

“I never thought of you as the type to get all hot and giddy over blood and violence, you know get obsessive and all that. Buuuuut,” she heard her move into the room, “you never really know about people, now do you?”

Cordelia remained silent.

“What? No comment? No Cordelia Chase snarky bitch jab? I’m shocked.”

Again Cordelia said nothing and Faith sighed impatiently.

“Okay CC,” she leaned over, peering into her face, “it’s okay if I call you that right? CC?” Cordelia did nothing and Faith shrugged.

“Cool. Okay here’s the game plan. We have to finish our little meeting from the other night, you know when I was here and offed your folks?” Faith walked around to look at her face to face.

“You do remember that don’t you? I had heard through the grapevine that you went loopy and forgot about it all, which would have been a real shame. It was quite a night.” Faith crossed her arms in front of herself and smirked at Cordelia.

“In any case it doesn’t matter if you remember, forget, or think you dreamed it, you’ll be dead soon anyway. A tragic ending to this ‘tragedy’ of the rich Chase family. Poor little Cordelia offs herself in a fit of demented depression.”  Faith said in a singsong voice as she looked around the office.

“Now this is how it goes. You, driven mad by your parents’ murder-suicide-which is how it is going to officially be as far as the cops are concerned-  just can’t take it anymore. You come here to say your final goodbye before taking the family car and driving to the outskirts of town to drive your car over one of the many, high, cliffs. Quick, easy to pull off, and I dare say a great way to go out. A perfect little melodramatic send off for the melodramatic bitch of Sunnydale.” Faith grinned.

“Got the idea? I mean if you have any suggestions on how to make this even better I’m open for suggestions,” Faith looked at Cordelia expectantly but got nothing.

“Okay then,” she shrugged and stood up straight. “Let’s go get the keys to the family Volvo and jet.”

When Cordelia didn’t move, Faith frowned. “I said let’s go. I need to get this done now, otherwise the mayor is gonna be royally perturbed. That means pissed off if you didn’t know,” Faith said smugly.

Holding firmly to her bag, Cordelia didn’t budge and Faith’s expression went dark. Before she knew what hit her, Cordelia was sent reeling backwards to the floor.

“That was just a little push,” Faith said darkly moving to stand over her. “Need a bigger one?”

Cordelia looked up at her, her eyes assessing her a moment before she slowly stood, picking up her bag with her.

Rubbing her jaw and keeping an eye on the slayer, Cordelia backed slowly out of the room, her eyes flickering first to the desk and then back down at the outline on the floor before finally leaving the room.

She had faced one of her demons.

She had said her good-byes.

Now she had to fight another if she were to survive.

*~*~*

Giles got out of his car and looked up at the Chase house, its windows dark and doors barricaded with yellow police tape. He saw nothing to indicate that Cordelia was inside, but thought it better to check out the property anyway. It was all he could do at this point seeing as he had no other alternative but to search aimlessly around town.

Walking up the driveway he was about to go up the front walkway when he heard a crash. He quickly raised his crossbow, releasing the safety and was about to make his way to the door, when it suddenly opened and Cordelia came stumbling out, Faith at her heels.

Both girls stopped at the sight of him, Cordelia looking at him with an unreadable stare, Faith grinning at him over her shoulder.

“Well hello, hottie. You looking for someone?”

He leveled the crossbow at them both, his body taking up a battle stance.

“Let her go,” he said simply.

Faith chuckled and shook her head. “No can do Watcher man. She and I have some business to take care of. It doesn’t really concern you.”
She pushed Cordelia forward and Giles took a step back, but didn’t lower the weapon.

“You are not taking her anywhere,” he stated. “Let her go.”

Faith grunted. “Look Giles, don’t be a dick. You know and I know that you won’t beat me. Unless you have your little bitch here to slow me down, I’ll do what I please, when I please.” She pushed Cordelia forward again towards the car.

“Get in,” she snapped. Cordelia looked up at Giles for a moment and then proceeded to open the car door.

“Cordelia move away from the car. Do not listen-“ he was cut off as Faith quickly kicked the crossbow away and backhanded him, sending him to the ground.

Before he could get up, Faith pulled him up and threw him into the side of the house, the force of him hitting, cracking the wooden shutters. He spun around only to be met with a dagger aimed at his throat.

“Ohhhh this could be so GOOD” Faith breathed as she pressed the point of the blade in an inch. Giles didn’t dare move, his eyes locked with Faith’s.

“Faith NO!”

They both turned to see Cordelia pull the door open and start the car.

“Let’s just go. You and me, we go. Leave him alone.”

Faith looked from her to Giles, shaking her head with a smug look.

“Looks like CC has a soft spot for ya,” she smirked as she watched Giles remain pressed up against the wall. She wagged a finger at him and shook her head.

“Told ya you couldn’t beat me.”

“Faith, let’s go,” Cordelia said again. Faith turned her head slightly towards her, but kept her eyes on Giles.

“Hold your panties CC.” She pursed her lips as she brought down her leg, smashing the crossbow at her feet. She looked back up at him and shrugged.

“In case you got another bad idea. Having said that,” she suddenly swung out, knocking him out cold. “That should keep you out of the way for now.”

Faith turned and quickly walked over to the passenger’s side of the car. Getting in she saw the expression on Cordelia’s face as she stared at Giles’ still form, emotion for the first time that night visible on her face.

“He’s fine CC. Don’t worry about him. Worry about yourself. Or actually don’t. I’m sure that death isn’t too bad an option for you at this point. It might even be the most welcome.”

Cordelia’s head snapped over to Faith, hazel eyes staring at her momentarily, the girl’s hatred for the other quite clear. Faith merely stared back at her.

“Drive,” Faith ordered.

Cordelia shifted the car into reverse and backed out of the driveway. She paused only briefly to shift the car into gear before flooring the pedal and peeling off down the street.

*~*~*

“Don’t think this is personal CC,” Faith said next to her. “I really don’t care about you one way or another-you could leave town never to come back and I wouldn’t give a damn.”

The slayer glanced over at her, but she just stared ahead, her eyes on the dark, deserted road that was taking them out of the city limits.

“But I can’t let you do that. My boss was specific about that-You hafta go. Just like your parents.” Faith eyed her thoughfully a moment when she remained silent, only moving to downshift as they came to a curve in the road.

“You are a cold one, aren’t you?” Faith mused. “I mean I ‘m sure that witch bitch Willow would be a sobbing puddle of uselessness while Buffy and the rest of them patted her on her little head. But you? I gotta say you’re doing better than I thought you would.”

Cordelia blinked, but said nothing. Faith watched her silently for a moment and then spoke again, this time softly.

“Don’t you even want to know why? Why all this is happening?”

“I assumed it was because you are a murderous, heartless psychopath,” Cordelia answered.

Faith bristle beside her but amazingly did nothing.

“Why? Because I follow my orders like I’m supposed to? I have a job, I do it. Buffy does the same,  but I suppose because she is golden girl its okay for her to do whatever the hell she wants.”

“You’re pathetic,” Cordelia muttered.

“Like hell. I’m not trying to pretend to be something I’m not. I’m not trying to please someone who is only using me or lying to me. I’m not the one who got cheated on by a worthless little boy with witch girl. Talk about pathetic.” Faith finished sitting back in her seat.

Cordelia didn’t bother to answer her, but sped up a little more as the street was straightening out now.

“She obviously didn’t teach him anything in the ways of pleasing a woman. I barely got a good jolt from him that night.” She paused to watch Cordelia. “Then again you probably know how it is with him-or was.”

Only from the slight widening of her eyes did Faith realize that she had hit on something.  Waiting for the breakdown or lame comeback, Faith sat quietly in the seat.

“How much further out do you want to go?” Cordelia asked quietly.

“Keep driving. I’ll tell you when to stop.” Faith answered as she again watched the girl carefully.

“You still have a thing for him don’t you? You actually cared for him?” She shook her head. “CC, let me let you in on a little secret-he isn’t worth it. He’s a little groupie of Buffy’s who is trying to play the big man when he’s a big nothing.”

“Why did you kill my parents?” Cordelia interrupted. “Was it because of me. Because of Buffy? Why?”

“CC like I said it was nothing personal-it was business.”

“What kind of business could my father have with you? What reason would you have for wanting to hurt me and my family if not to get at Buffy?”

“If I wanted to take care of Buffy I’d hit someone a little closer to home. No offense but I doubt she’d care that much if you’d fell off the face of the earth.”

“Tell me why, you bitch!”

Faith relaxed as she finally got the reaction she wanted. “Your daddy and the mayor use to be business partners. Something or another to do with the city. Anyway daddy got a little too into the mayor’s business, saw some things he shouldn’t have and had to be taken care of.”

“Why kill him? Why kill my mother?”

“Well that wasn’t the original plan CC. The mayor was just going to have him sent to jail-tax evasion or some kind of trumped up charges. Get him penniless and in prison and out of the way, leaving you and moms twisting in the wind and at his mercy.”

Cordelia just sat there shocked.

“The mayor was going to use me against my father? What could my father have on him that required you to destroy him but need to keep him alive?”

“Well the mayor was trying to show a little mercy. He’s not as bad as everyone thinks.”

“Why did you kill them?” Cordelia asked again.

“Daddy got stupid. Instead of taking the mayor’s offer-life behind bars- he threw it in his face. Said he was going to turn him in no matter what.

“The mayor found out that the feds were involved, that you were going to go all witness protection and stuff and he decided that the best course of action was to wipe you all out.”

“Wipe us out,” Cordelia repeated.

“Wipe you out. See even though the mayor is you know, a badass, he can’t afford to have snooping little agents running around town, especially now. He’s got other more important things to worry about. So, to keep the feds away, quiet the snitch, but make it look like a suicide.”

“And my mother?”

“Didn’t know how much you and moms knew. So had to take care of you too. And to make sure that no one looked too closely we had to set it up to look like daddy went psycho and killed wife and kid before offing himself. Case closed.”

The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes until Faith finally spoke again.

“Okay, this is far enough. Stop here.”

Cordelia pulled to a stop on the side of the road and stared down at the steering wheel. Only the sound of the running motor sounded, not even the sounds of crickets attempting to fill the dark night.

Faith turned to look at Cordelia and sighed. “This’ll be all over soon, CC. I’ll make this quick ‘cause I feel bad about not ending your misery earlier like I should have.” She placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder and leaned down in her face.

“Nothing about this is personal.”

Cordelia suddenly looked up and brought up her a hand, armed with a small canister of car air freshener. Before Faith could stop her, Cordelia sprayed her full force in the eyes, causing the girl to shriek and pull back, clutching at her eyes.

Dropping the empty canister, Cordelia quickly shifted into gear, hit the gas pedal, and pulled back onto the street, the car quickly gaining speed.

“Stop the car now!” Faith ordered trying to lean over to grab Cordelia, but Cordelia, braked and swerved causing Faith to be thrown back against the door.

Grabbing the shoulder harness from behind Faith, Cordelia pulled it down behind her and jerked it hard towards her, effectively creating a tight noose around Faith’s throat.

Maneuvering the steering wheel with her left hand, Cordelia righted the car and sped towards the city.

“What are you doing?!” Faith screamed at her as they sped back down the street, back towards the winding steep curves.

“I’m doing what you want-committing the melodramatic suicide of driving off a cliff. Only I’m taking you with me.” Cordelia hit the gas again, the engine roaring as the sped down the street.

“You’re crazy,” Faith choked. She tried to pull at the strap, but Cordelia had pulled it tight enough to make it impossible to move.

“I know you are, but what am I?” Cordelia laughed as the road began to wind again, some curves leading nowhere but down and others into the ocean.

“Do we want a watery death or just all fire and crunching rocks?”

“Let go of me!” Faith screamed.

“What is it Faith? Are you scared? Is the big bad slayer girl scared? I would’ve thought that you would love to be in on all the action-the blood and violence and all that.”

The street began to curve now and Cordelia swerved to navigate the road. Clipping the highway rail, sparks flew up on the passengers’ side and Faith screamed.

“Okay! I’ll let you go. I’ll tell the mayor that I killed you and that its over and finished. Is that what you want?”

Cordelia shook her head. “No, silly girl. I just realized that my life really is pathetic. I mean, no parents, no boyfriend, no money, no friends. I have nothing really. Even my sanity is just about gone. So why not just do it? Just end it all?”

She laughed as she swerved again to just narrowly avoid going over a curve into a rocky ravine.

“Fine then. Let me go and do it!”

“Hell no girlie girl. You are coming with me. It’s the least I can do to you for helping to make my life as I know it a living hell.”

Cordelia gasped suddenly. “Oh look, there’s the ocean! Whaddya think? Better than all rocks and fire and bone crunching, right?”

Cordelia careened towards the railing, the car almost smashing through the metal when Faith grabbed the wheel and was able to turn it, causing the car to swerve away from the railing-

And head straight into a tree on the other side of the road.

Neither of them had a chance to scream as the car rammed into the tree, metal crunching, glass shattering, airbags deploying upon the impact.

Nothing but the sounds of the dying car could be heard.

Nothing but the smell of burning metal and rubber permeating the air.

Nothing moving except the wispy currents of smoke rising from the smashed car’s hood.

And then a grunt, and a moan, and then a hand moving.

Cordelia Chase lifted her head slowly, eyes blinking rapidly as she quickly came to.

She silently looked over at the girl in the seat next to her, her face turned away from her, looking as if she were gazing out the window.

Taking her hand she placed it on the girl’s neck and felt a beating, strong pulse.

She quickly took her hand away.

She should do it. She could do it, if she did it now while she was like this…

She killed her family, she tried to kill her, wasn’t she justified in doing this?

She’d never be brought to justice, nor would the mayor. They’d get away with it, they’d get away with what they’d done.

Wasn’t she justified in doing this?!?

Wouldn’t it be better for everyone overall? For Buffy and Giles and the others? Wouldn’t Faith being dead be right?

Cordelia looked down at the knife in the girl’s waistband and picked it up. Looking from it to Faith she thought.

And thought.

And then raised the knife-

And cut the strap of her seatbelt-

Setting herself free.

As much as she wanted to, as much as she WANTED to, she couldn’t become what Faith was.

She couldn’t become that type of person. She didn’t want to.

Cordelia climbed out of the car, pulling her bag along with her.

Standing outside the car she looked down at the unconscious girl, murderer, and for one real moment, one all consuming flashing moment just wanted to let the knife’s edge glide so quickly over her throat, just let it cut and cut and cut…

She stepped back from the car, dropping the knife on the road at her feet.

Faith’s day would come. She’d get her day of reckoning.

But it wouldn’t be today. Not like this.

Cordelia couldn’t do it herself.

Burning tears came to her eyes, anger made her body tremble.

She couldn’t be the one.

Turning her back to the scene, Cordelia walked to the edge of the road and looked to her right, down at the city. Once her hometown, now the heart of all her pain.

She had to leave the pain behind. She had to if she wanted the chance to live again.

She turned left and began walking up the road.

Away from her pain.

Away from her past.

Leaving it all behind in the hope that she just might be able to find a life that she wanted to live.