Cordelia smiled as the door opened. "Happy Belated Turkey Day!"  She quickly walked past Giles into the living room. "Pie," she said turning back to him presenting a box.

He looked at it dubiously. "You cooked?"

"Hardly. I bought." She walked into the kitchen and set it on the counter. She glanced over at the sink and raised an eyebrow at the pile of dirty dishes. "Looks like someone got stuck with clean-up duty."

" A well orchestrated plan," he grumbled as he closed the door and went over to the kitchen counter. "Shall I guess the traditional pumpkin pie?" he nodded at the box.

"Nope," she flipped the box open. "Cherry. Good?"

"Great," he sighed in relief. " I have had my fill of leftovers. I must say if I ever see another turkey it'll be too soon."

"Was dinner that bad?" She asked as she went over to the cupboard for plates.

"Not really. It was the festivities before hand. I had almost forgotten how harrowing an experience it is to have arrows and knives thrown at your head. It's been a while since I've been in the heat of battle."

She glanced back over at him and gave him the once over. "Well you don't look any worse for wear." She shut a cupboard door in exasperation. "Do you even have clean plates?" she asked throwing up her hands. "And people call ME a slob," she mumbled.

Ignoring her last comment he walked around the counter and over to the one cupboard she hadn't checked and pulled out two plates. "I survived, thank you. As did everyone else for the most part."

"Angel said everyone was fine when he left. Someone OD on the turkey platter and have to get their stomach pumped?" She smirked to herself as she took a knife from the drawer and began slicing the pie.

"No casualties from the bout with the Indian spirits," Giles paused to clear his throat. "Xander was a bit under the weather-"

"Poor Xander caught the sniffles?" Cordelia laughed softly. She frowned at Giles' expression and stopped cutting. "What?"

Blowing out a breath he turned to retrieve two forks from another drawer. "He somehow contracted small pox-"

"Small pox? That's not so bad. You itch like crazy but-"

"Small pox not chicken pox."

 She furrowed her brow in thought. "Small pox…small pox….Oh-OH!- but wait wasn't small pox like wiped off the face of the earth? How the hell did-"

"He was exposed to some Indian artifacts while working over the the university. Somehow or another he was infected with small pox." He put the forks on the counter. "And syphilis."

She stopped cutting again and looked up at him. No way. "You're kidding. I mean-you're kidding?" Her mouth fell open as Giles just sampled the pie. "He got syphilis AND small pox?"  Of all the things she had wished for Xander to be stricken with after they had broken up-well syphilis had been one of the possibilities- but still for it to actually happen. Dare she admit she felt sorry for him?

"God, I hope he's doing better. I mean-geeze-How's he holding up?"

Giles cleared his throat again."Looked like death warmed over. But he has someone taking care of him in his hour of need. He'll recover."

Someone. Anya. Her sympathy for Xander quickly went poof. Probably caught his little STD from the demon lady.  She flipped a slice of pie rather ungraciously onto a plate. "So after the big brouha everyone gathered at the table for the Thanksgiving feast," she licked the cherry sauce from her fingers. "Nice little full house."

Giles glanced at her and shrugged. "It wasn't as cozy as it sounds. Listening to Spike whine, watching a rather sick Xander being doted on by Anya, and knowing Buffy was preoccupied with thoughts of Angel doesn't make for a fun afternoon."

What the hell? "Spike?" she looked up again. "You know what I'm not even gonna ask." She flipped another slice of pie onto a plate.

"I had been wondering about you, though," he said as he picked up a fork and plate. "What did you end up doing for Thanksgiving?"

"Nothing really. Hung out with Doyle mostly," she sighed picking up her plate and fork and following Giles out of the kitchen and over to the couch. "We were on alert to help out Angel if needed. Like coming to Sunnydale and seeing everybody would have been all that fun-present company excluded.  Buffy and I were actually able to avoid a bitch-out when she was in LA but I wouldn't want to push it and revert back to the same ole, same ole." She sat back on the couch and Giles took the chair next to her.

"Same ole?" he asked quickly before taking another bite of pie.

She pushed a cherry around on her plate. "Me and Buffy. Celebrity Death Match made in Heaven. You know the usual cat fighting."

"I don't know why you two are so odd with each other," Giles said after another forkful. "After everything you've both been through-"

"Buffy and I have never really gotten along, Giles. We tolerate each other, I'd even say we respect each other, but I doubt it goes much farther than that. It's kinda hard for me to befriend somebody who nearly staked me when we first met."

Giles let out a laugh. "It was an honest mistake-not that she could confuse you with a vampire but she was still orienting herself to Sunnydale."

Cordelia glanced at him quickly. Ever the Buffy-protector. She stuffed a nice hunk of pie in her mouth.

"What I don't understand," he leaned over to put his empty plate on the coffee table, " is why neither of you realize that you have more in common than you think?"

Her eyes widened and she gasped-or tried to, but only succeeded in inhaling cherry pie and  choking herself. Coughing she dropped her fork and plate and covered her mouth as the embarrassing hacking continued. She didn't know what was worse-what he had just said or the fact that she was having a choking fit and about ready to crack a rib.

Giles sat up and patted her on her back. "Are you alright?" He asked with a not so hidden amused expression.

She glared at him through the tears in her eyes. "No," she croaked as she got up and went to the kitchen for some water. She grabbed a glass, filled it from the tap, and guzzled it down. She had no idea how to even respond to what he just said. "Were you by any chance hit on the head during that attack by the Indians?" she called from the kitchen.

"Cordelia," Giles got up from the couch and went over to the kitchen doorway. "You don't see it?"

She cleared her throat and set the glass on the counter. "See what? That Buffy and I are totally NOT alike in any way?" Not in any way that's good.

He gave her a knowing look. "Oftentimes people who have the most trouble getting along, are so because they are a lot alike."

She raised her glass to her lips."I'm stickin with the theory you've had a major recent head injury."

Giles crossed his arms in front of him and looked down at the floor in front of him. "How would you describe Buffy?"

Don't tempt me Giles. Please do not tempt me. She pursed her lips and sighed. "I'm trying to maintain my streak of tactness. Asking me that question will totally ruin it for me." He looked at her patiently.  "Pain in the ass annoying. Whiny. Arrogant. Self-centered-" She stopped as Giles straightened. "I am NOT whiny. I may complain a bit but-" she bit her lip and shook her head. " I am not as bad as she is. She can be ten times worse the bitch I am when she wants to be."

Giles grunted. "Perhaps not ten times as worse, but some of what you said to describe Buffy could be applied to her-AND you."

Cordelia cocked her head to one side and narrowed her eyes. "So saying that we're both bitcas is supposed to make me feel better? Granted I'm somewhat shocked that you'd even acknowledge that Buffy is *gasp* flawed-but still-"

"While you both share some of the less desirable traits, you both also try not to let them surface too often. And you both do share admirable qualities-"

She griped her glass tightly. "What? Nice skin? I have to admit ever since that thing on her face went away she has looked better-

" I was referring more to you both having great inner strength. Determination.Tenacity."

She snorted. "Yeah. Sure Giles."

"You and Buffy are both strong individuals. Survivors in your own ways."

She met his gaze briefly before turning away. When she woke up this morning she never thought she'd be sitting here with Giles discussing how she and Buffy were-groan- similar. And not in the bitca way that she had already noticed. Hell it takes one to know one and her bitch-dar hummed loudly whenever Buffy crossed her path.

She shrugged at Giles. "You may have a little, small, tiny, point about me and Buffy. But I am a better dresser, better at the witty one liners, AND I don't mope. When she's in pain-everybody knows."

"No, I will give you that you don't mope. You stew."

She placed a hand on her hip. "I what?"

"You stew. Bury your feelings. Then you lash out in a verbal barrage on anyone who's handy."

She threw him a cool glance and let out a half snort, acting as if she wasn't fazed by what he said. But somewhere inside-deep deep down inside- a warning bell was going off. Clanging loudly. And it was telling her to cut this conversation off before it went further.

"Where the hell is all this coming from?" she quirked an eyebrow. "I mean is this psychoanalyze Cordelia day?"

He shook his head. "No. I just was trying to make you see that as different as you think you are, you actually aren't. You both are unique in your own rights,  but you and Buffy aren't from completely different planets. In fact you're made of similar mettle."

"You think that you could stop comparing me to Buffy? I've been down that road before, and I don't care to visit it again." She heard her words come out harshly, knew they came out harshly, and did it because she wanted him to stop.

 She felt a change in Giles' gaze but didn't ackowledge it. "So how is her highness doing anyway? She flitted in and out of LA pretty quickly." She waved a hand in the air when he didn't answer immediately. "Helloo?"

He briefly shook his head as if jerking himself from a trance. "She's fine," he said shortly turning back to the living room. "Why do you ask?"

She inwardly winced at his abruptness. Well she got him to stop. She walked over to the kitchen doorway. "Can't I ask about Buffy?"

He threw her a strange look. "Given that a mere ten seconds prior you expressed a loathing to be even compared to her, I have to wonder why you would even say her name." He sat down on the couch and shook his head to himself.

Call me crazy. "Well, she is the slayer. If she's not her usual happy bitca self then I might have reason to be concerned.The nutcases that slip through her fingers may decide to cut through L.A and as part of the LA clean-up crew I'm curious as to how she's doing." She moved into the living room and sat on arm of the chair.

Giles rolled his eyes. "Like I said she's fine. Her trip to LA seemed to be uneventful."

"So she didn't fall into a bout of 'Angel' associated depression?"

He shook his head. "No. She was a bit down, but pulled out of it quickly," he stopped suddenly. "Is there reason why she should be upset?"

Cordelia shrugged. "With those two it could be anything. Angel's been back to brooding, tortured dark man ever since she visited.  Doyle and I aren't sure what happened since he hasn't been talking to us too much lately."

"Not surprising," Giles murmured.

"It's not like they haven't done this breakup thing before, but for some reason they keep 'breaking up' breaking up and get all depressed-again-and depress everyone around them." She sighed. "I was just wondering if Buffy really has moved on. I know Angel hasn't."

Giles silently took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "What answer would you like me to give you? Or better yet give Angel?"

She felt her jaw clench. "Excuse me?" she said slowly.

He looked up at her. "All these questions about how Buffy is doing ever since she's returned from LA, after seeing Angel. For some reason I'm feeling as if I'm being pumped for information."

It wasn't like she didn't see this coming-she HAD intentionally ticked him off to leave her alone.  But the tone of his voice cut-cut deep. She stood up from her seat.

"Okay, first of all I am not pumping you for info. Secondly, neither is Angel. Thirdly, I resent that you would think I would pump you for information. I simply asked how she was doing-yes for Angel, but not at Angel's direction."

"Then why?"

She bristled and crossed her arms. "Because it might give him some comfort to know that she's not moping but living her life."

"You feel Angel would want to know how she's doing? Okay, she's fine -now that he's out of her life." He shook his head. "I understand that it has been hard for them to end their  relationship, especially because they seem to care for each other very deeply." He blew out a breath, "But there are so many reasons why their ending their relationship is the best thing possible. He's a vampire, she's a slayer. She's still very much a young adult trying to find herself and he a man over two centuries old-"

She lifted a hand."Giles. You don't have to convince me that Buffy and Angel and 'happily ever after'  don't mix. If you pick apart their relationship piece by piece, yeah it's screwy. It's weird. It makes absolutely no sense. But you can't help who you fall in love with. Love doesn't follow logic. I know from experience."

He grimaced. "I'm not sure I'd call it love."

She wasn't sure she would either. "I don't know.  But when you think about  everything they've been through-everything she's done for him and he for her. As much as it grates me to say this-Buffy and Angel do have something special. Something that just is. For both of them. And it will always be there even if they break up a million times over-even if it does seem like Buffy has moved on. Like I said Angel hasn't, and probably won't, if ever."

"Well forgive me if I'm none too sympathetic about Angel's pain," Giles snapped. "I hope for Buffy's sake that he leaves her be. As much as he has helped her, he's hurt her just as many times. She's slowly moving on with her life, finding some semblance of normalcy. It's just better that it's over and that he stay away from her."

So Buffy's too good for Angel to hang out with, but not ole Cordy?

Cordelia closed her eyes briefly to try to block out the little voice in the back of her head, the little voice that she knew damn well not to let get the better of her. But for some reason right now she couldn't stop it.

Because as much as she had changed, or liked to think she changed, some things about her were still the same.

Namely a massive flareup of jealousy and insecurity whenever the name Buffy came up.

She knew she wasn't being fair- Giles had damn good reasons to hate Angel, to actually even want him deader than he already was and his ashes scattered in the ocean. Jenny's death being one and everything that went down between Angel and Buffy being the other. Even if he was no longer her official Watcher, he still was going to look out for her no matter what and want to protect her. Cordelia couldn't fault him for that-it was just the way he was and she wouldn't expect anything less from him.

But because it applied to Buffy, reasonable thinking was thrown out the window.

She started pacing. "Well, can't argue with that.  As long as it's good for Buffy, then it is good for everyone."

"What?" She heard him sit up.

"It just floors me sometimes how Buffy garners so much admiration and protectiveness from all those around her-you, Angel, Xander, Willow. I mean sure she's the slayer and but it's like the girl has her own posse of yes-men who will coddle her despite her being the supposed kick ass vampire slayer with all the super powers."

"Cordelia," Giles warned, "Buffy as a slayer has an unbelieveably hard life. Responsibilities that no person, much less a teenaged girl should have to contend with. Let's not forget that because of her this world is still here. She's sacrificed a lot because of her duties. I would think that she be entitled to a little slack."

Cordelia whirled back around. "Yeah, but her slack comes at the expense of others. Sure, she takes on the all the evils of Hellmouth-she's tapped with  the required job skills and talents, but she's not the only one out there risking their life for the greater good. You are. And Willow and Xander and Angel and for some ungodly reason that escapes me at the moment, me.  But does anyone else get a pat on the back after slaying a vamp? Or cut some slack when they are in a bad mood? We've all sacrificed.  We've all had to deal when shitty things happen to us whether because of the Hellmouth or because in general life just sucks," she absently hit the back of the chair. " It's just that for some reason for all of you-Buffy's life trumps everybody elses'. Like it's more important than anybody elses. But you know what? It doesn't. The slayer's life may be hard, but so is everybody else's.  Okay her parents are divorced. So are a lot of peoples. You think that it's any better to have a part-time parent or an abusive parent or one who flits in and out of your life? Buffy has the dumb luck to fall in love with the wrong guy and has to break it off. Like other girls haven't had to go through the same thing? Like no one else feels pain like Buffy or needs friends like Buffy or needs protection like Buffy? Tell me something- If we're so much alike then why is it when she acts like spoiled little bitch and intentionally hurts the people around her-people  that she calls friends, she's just hurting and needs time and understanding and in short someone to kiss her ass. But when I - " she stopped pacing suddenly.

Oh my God.

She quickly turned away from him, speechless as the magnitude of what she just said, just revealed to him, dawned on her.

She….oh God….

Could the Hellmouth just open up and swallow her now?

She had just lost it. Completely, big time, LOST it.

The bitch was back alright, back in all her whiny, self-centered glory.

What was going on in his mind she didn't even want to imagine. She just didn't even want to think-

Oh God.

She had just royally fucked up. There was no way Giles would ever see her in the same way… She….

Dammit.

She quickly straightened and turned around to face him, her jaw instantly clenching in seeing  the expression on his face.

She sniffed. "Made a brief return to bitter bitch ville," she joked. He remained silent, staring at her with an expression she couldn't read. Shame was only one of many emotions she felt.

She had to get out of there.

"You know what-"

She was cut off by the ringing of both her cell phone and his telephone. She quickly went for her purse, not even looking to him as he slowly went over to his phone.

She flipped the phone open. "Hello?"

"Hey Cor. It's Doyle. We need-"

"I'm coming," she said immediately and flipped the phone shut. Thank You God. She took a deep breath to try to calm herself and looked over at Giles who had just answered his phone.

"Hello?" She saw him tense slightly and his eyes flicker briefly to her before cutting away. "Hi Buffy."

She would've laughed out loud if she weren't afraid that it would make her seem even more…. crap she didn't know what she was feeling all she knew was that she had the overwhelming urge to flee. Run. To get away before she could really see Giles' reaction to her tirade, before he looked at her with pity and disappointment and made her feel even worse than she did now, if it was even remotely possible.

She picked up her bag and headed towards the door.

"Buffy, hold on a minute," he placed his hand on the receiver. "Cordelia-"

"You're busy," she gestured towards the phone while opening the door. Backing out she could only throw him a silent wave before shutting the door quickly behind her. Running for Angel's car she pulled out her keys and opened the cardoor, quickly getting inside.

Sitting back in the seat she hit the steering wheel in frustration, the lump in her throat not keeping a strangled cry from emminating from her mouth.

She wanted to cry. Just really, really cry.

She had just lashed out at him for no good reason. No reason except that she felt him getting too close. Too damn close for comfort.  And as usual what happened? She made him mad, made him back off.

And to top it off she then went off on a rant like some selfish ungrateful -bitch was too good a word for her right now. And he had seen it, seen her be….so ugly.

She had tried, she had tried to not be the person that people all thought she was but the person she wanted to be-the person she knew she could be.

But in less than a minute she had ruined her new friendship with Giles. With uncontrolled, bitter words she had ruined a relationship that had become so important to her.

And she wondered why she had so few friends. Probably would remain that way.

She quickly wiped her eyes, started the car, and peeled away from the curb.