Part Five

The room was scorching hot, but Buffy couldn't seem to get warm. She shivered as she stood outside the door mutely, leaning against it in a helpless gesture of frustration and a last ditch effort of control. Sounds of an animal could be heard on the other side, and she closed her eyes, brushing away her tears as she stepped away from the door to avoid hearing them.

Helplessness was a foreign and a most hated feeling. The times she felt it were rare, but the fleeting glimpses had done her no good. As the former Slayer, she could do anything. She had stopped the Apocalypse on numerous occasions, killed demons no one else could have fathomed of defeating, stood against the Council, and changed lives. She wasn't supposed to be helpless.

Yet today the feeling overwhelmed her, consumed her. She felt lost and angry, and she felt alone.

In Sunnydale, she was never alone, there was always a support structure that she could fall back on. She was alone now.

He was dying, and there was nothing she could do. It was a curse, one that kept him caged like an animal, fighting between worlds for his own soul, lost in limbo.

And it scared her, it scared her so much.

The door opened, and she quickly wiped away her tears, her face immobile as she lifted her tears stained eyes to the doorway.

Her heart stopped when a familiar brunette burst into the room as if she owned it. For a moment all Buffy could do was stare.

"Don't say one word Buffy." Was all the Cordelia said, before going straight to the room where Angel was kept. Xander gave her one look of familiar tense emotion before following her.

Only Doyle stayed, his face immobile, his arms crossed.

"She's gonna help." Was the only explanation he offered when she gave him a furious questioning glance.

He looked like an animal. Cordelia leaned against the doorway, trying to believe that this wasn't her Angel. Her heart began to beat heavily, her chest to rise and fall. He was crouched in the corner, his demon face flickering on and off as he groaned and growled in interval. She came forward slowly, her tear stained face stern and surprisingly gentle as she came forward to the man growling painfully in the corner.

Oh, God. She felt herself whimper, and had to close her eyes against the sight of the man she loved in this state. This couldn't be happening. Forcing herself to breath, her eyes opened.

Her heart tremoring, she leaned forward. "Angel."

He did nothing, merely looked at her with hooded eyes. She heard the door creaking open, didn't turn, but knew that he was behind her, watching her. She didn't care. She walked forward softly, inching closer.

"Angel."

Suddenly he lunged forward, growling and grabbing her. Xander cried out, was about to run to her when she held out a hand.

"NO." She barked, not looking, her eyes never wavering Angel's seemingly inhuman ones. "Xander, just leave."

Xander stopped at the certainty in her voice. Swallowing, and against his better judgement, he obeyed, backing out of the door and closing it behind him.

Angel growled, his demon face in full effect as he grabbed her arms, dug his fingers in her flesh, studying her face, his fangs dripping with desire. Ever so slowly, his eyes floated to her neck, his pain obvious as he struggled to keep his grip.

"Angel." She whispered.

He looked back up into her eyes, then scanning over her face, eyeing the drops of tears that threatened to trickle down her face. Growling so low it almost seemed like a purr he leaned forward, until he was millimeters from her skin.

Cordelia felt tears trickle down her cheeks when ever so softly, his tongue flicked out and licked the drops of water from her face. He lingered there for a minute, she felt his lips brushing at her tears, could feel him breathing in her scent, as if he needed her air.

When her eyes opened, his demon face was gone, and he was watching her, his eyes squinted with pain. "Cor?" He whispered painfully.

She nodded, her throat too choked up to speak. His grip loosened, and he leaned forward, causing her to brace his weight as he slid his arms around her and held her to him, tears running down his face as he gripped her body and pressed it completely against hers.

"Oh, God Angel." She whispered, feeling her heart heave as they sunk down on the floor together. He stared at her, his body trembling with pain and emotion as he stared at her beseechingly, opening his mouth, trying to form words, and unable, the demon flickering on and off of his face.

One hand wavered at his face, touching the skin, feeling his pain. She leaned against his face, allowing her tears to spill against his skin, sobbing quietly in his arms.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you." She whispered. Hands cradled his conflicted face, and she breathed in deeply, trying to hold her composure even as her tears welled up.

"Angel." She breathed, staring into his haunted eyes. "Can you keep fighting Angel?"

There was great pain on his face as he struggled to understand her words. It took a minute, but ever so slowly, he nodded, the growl low and painful as he buried his face in her neck.

When she felt his fangs graze her throat, she pulled away, knowing the control he was straining on himself not to bite her, to take her.

His eyes flashed sorrowfully, and he reached for her, but she mutely shook her head. "I'm going to help you, we're going to save you." Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his game face, feeling him groan, and wiping at her eyes, she got up, and walked back to the door, forcing herself not to look back.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Buffy hissed, furious as she looked at Doyle. "She can't do any more than we can."

"She can try." Doyle responded. His voice was hard, his stance defensive.

Xander stepped forward, laying a gentle hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Buffy-"

She immediately shook him off. "Shut up Xander, I know how you feel about Angel, and I know how you feel about her."

Xander's eyes flashed, and then he softened, giving her a hurt look, digging his hands in his pocket. For a moment, Buffy reeled. Despite the white shirt and tie that hung loosely around his neck, at that second, he looked exactly like the Xander of ten years ago, wide eyed and unsure, stoic and innocent.

She felt her anger deflate at the sight of her obviously conflicted old friend. "I'm sorry, Xander." She said immediately.

Xander gave her a grim smile. "Nice to see you too, Buffy." She winced. There was silence, and Xander stepped forward awkwardly, a grim grin covering his features. "You know, Buffy. This isn't easy for anyone. Especially me."

He was about to continue when the door creaked open.