Chapter Thirteen

"This can't be happening." Xander whispered, crossing his arms, his face stone placid. "I can't believe it."

Willow gave him a sympathetic glance, but her eyes seemed to sheen with moisture. "It makes sense."

"No, it doesn't." Cordelia retorted, her eyes wide with fear. "It has to be Buffy,she's the stronger one, I can't do it."

"You can, lass." Doyle walked forward, his tone gentle.

She turned pleading eyes on him. "Doyle, don't be so stupid, I'm not... I can't be."

"You are." When she spoke up, everyone else quieted down. Cordelia turned to her, her eyes wide.

Buffy stood, her frame shaking, her face drawn, but her face oddly even.

"Buffy."

"Shut up, Cordelia." She said immediately. "I'm not stupid, and it's obvious to everyone but the people living in Denialville. You so need to move out of there. Look, I'm not sure about this Bound thing, but if this guy thinks you can save him." She took a breath, composing herself. "Then I'm not going to argue. Now, I don't believe it, but... you have to believe it Cordelia. You do believe it."

Cordelia stared at Buffy, who merely shrugged.

"Yes, I love him, but you KNOW him, he's a part of you. You believe that, don't you?"

She nodded slightly, not knowing what to say. "So get over yourself, and believe it. You have to believe it, Angel could die." Buffy walked forward, inches now from Cordelia's face. "Do you believe it, Cordelia? Do you? DO YOU?"

The last two words were shouted, but Cordelia didn't move, her eyes never wavered from Buffy's moist blue ones. They stared into each other's eyes, and something seemed to change in Cordelia's hazel ones.

There was a flash, a glint of hardness, and uncrossing her arms, she kept her gaze on Buffy's face. "Yeah. I do."

"We don't have time to waste. " Rupert Giles rubbed at his glasses, pulling off his jacket. "Oz, get the jackets we need to go out. Willow, and uh.. Doyle?"

The Irishman stepped forward, face set in determination. "What can I do?"

"You'll have to help Sammis and I, you and Willow with this spell." He thrust two pieces of paper at each of them. "Learn them well, we don't have room for error."

"Buffy and Alexander." Two dull pairs of eyes looked at them. "You'll need to prepare yourself for a fight. Where we are going is extremely dangerous, and Cordelia and Angel will be unable to defend themselves." Xander caught Buffy's eyes, and they both nodded, Xander walked to the bedroom, pulling off his tie and throwing it over his head.

"What do I have to do?" Cordelia asked quietly, looking at Sammis.

"The usual, a spell, he needs your strength lass. Now, you have to understand something, when we do what we are doing to do? it's extremely dangerous."

"What?" Giles averted his eyes as Xander came back into the living room, his face one of furious shock.

"You're saying she might die."

"Not exactly," began Sammis.

"Woah, wait. No one said a word about her dying."

Buffy followed him into the room.

"What?"

Xander swung around. "Cordelia could die doing whatever the hell this is."

"It's her choice, and Angel's only salvation." Sammis retorted.

"But she could die!"

"I don't know, no one has ever really tried it before." Giles said softly. "I'm not the greatest advocate either, but it's the only choice, and up to Cordelia to decide. He cocked his head, studying her. "Are you prepared to take that risk?" Rupert asked. Everyone in the room turned to look at Cordelia, who before then had said absolutely nothing, merely stood there, arms crossed, face unreadable.

"Cordelia." Xander pleaded, staring at her beseechingly. "Don't do this. Please."

She was quiet for a minute, looking at him, her voice never wavered. "I've been prepared to take that risk from the beginning."

He stared at her, and then turned suddenly striding to the door.

"Xander."

She followed him, catching him by his arm.

He shrugged her off, and she tried again. "Xander!"

"Cor, no." He turned to face her, his eyes flashing. "Can't you see what you're doing?"

"I'd do it for any of them, Xander. For you. Wouldn't you do the same?"

"Not for him." He bit.

"For me?"

He swallowed, looking at the others, who stared at him. "You know I would." He said gruffly.

She nodded quickly. "Look, dorkhead.I could die. I need you there to help me. Xander." She swallowed, taking his hand, looking back at the others. "Come on. I want to talk to you."

He didn't budge, his eyes dark with hurt and pain.

"Come on." She pulled him, dragging him into the bedroom and shutting the door.

He moved to sit in the dark corner, not budging. She crossed her arms, her voice soft. "Talk to me." She whispered.

He was quiet for a minute, then he seemed to sigh, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his thighs. "You once told me never to ask you if you would have stayed with him, but it's killing me, Cordelia. I should have known then. I don't know why?." He rubbed his hands through his hair, swallowing. "Why did you come back to me, Cordelia?"

"Because I love you."

"I'm not sure of that."

"I am." She came forward, her hand on his knee as she kneeled in front of him. "Xander, I never lied to you about that. I do love you. But, Angel-"

"He's your Bound. You belong to him." She nodded, swallowing.

"I guess I do." She finally admitted. He nodded, his voice husky as he reached a hand out and slowly traced his finger across her jaw.

"I guess we can do that big break up scene right now." She said softly, leaning her chind on his shoulder, a slow tear trickling down her cheek.

He sighed, leaning against her. "Strangely, I don't want it." At her questioning glance he slid his arms around her, holding her close. "I hate him, Cordelia. But I also hate what I've become." He took a breath, pressing his lips to her forhead. "So, I'm going to help you, and then? I'm leaving you, Cordelia."

She buried her face in his neck, closing her eyes.

"What are you going to do?"

"Try to find myself. Who I really am. I lost that somewhere, trying to be what I thought you'd want. Didn't know you as well as I thought I did. Money doesn't impress you anymore."

Her eyes opened, and she cocked her head, her voice sad, longing. "It wasn't why I fell in love with you, Xander."

He smiled,nodding. "I know. I love you, Cordelia."

She gazed at him, her eyes shining. "I love you, Xander."

And he pulled her close, desperately, not a lover's embrace, and not a just friends embrace. It was neither, and a bit of both, and at that moment, neither cared enough to categorize it. They were close, hearts beating in synchronicity.

That was all that mattered.

She listened, her jaw tight, shaking her head as she finally stood up. "This is nuts. We can't just break into the most congregated spot of evil in LA like nothing!"

Oz looked up. "We can try."

Buffy sighed, leaning her head back against the couch. "We're not teenagers anymore, Oz. You've got two kids, it's suicide."

"It's not suicide." Willow took a breath, and stood. "Look, we used to be a pretty good team, back in Sunnydale, that hasn't changed."

"Everything's changed, Willow." Buffy said quietly. Willow shook her head as she looked at her.

"No, Buffy. It's hasn't. You're still the Slayer." She gave Buffy a soft smile. "Don't you know how bad you are?"

Buffy looked at her for a minute, and just shook her head. "You were always a moron, Will." The statement was said almost fondly.

"No, I was a bad ass wicca."

"Buffy, now we CAN do this." Giles said. "We just need to concentrate."

Buffy sighed, nodding. "Right, okay. Let's just try this. I just wish we could do it somewhere else."

"Somewhere else where?" Doyle asked, leaning against the wall. "We need the congregation of energy."

"Why?" Xander came in, before Cordelia, who merely leaned against the wall.

"It's the only thing that will save him." Sammis supplied, looking over the books. "Druid's spells are not petty things mind you. They are very powerful, centuries old, and if we can harness their energy back onto them, perhaps we can reverse the curse." He turned to the brunette in the corner. "Are you ready?"

Cordelia nodded.

Wordlessly she turned, nodding to Buffy, who just shook her head, not moving from her place. Cordelia looked at her, and then walked back into the room, her heart thudding tremendously.

Oh, God, please let him be better.

She turned into the room, and felt her heart stop at the sight ofAngel's body.

He was sitting up, his face human, his eyes seemed focused.

"Angel." He looked up, recognizing her immediately.

"Cordelia." He managed to rasp. Leaning out a hand, he reached for her, and she took it, drawing down next to him.

"Welcome back." She whispered. He slid his arms around her, tightening when he felt a spasm of pain. After a minute he recovered, swallowed, wincing as he tried to speak.

"Why? why does it still hurt?"

Her smile faded and she felt her heart tremor. "Come on." She helped him stagger to his feet, trying hard to keep her balance and the added burden of his weight. For a moment she struggled, until Xander came forward, taking Angel's cold arm and throwing it over his shoulder.

"Let's go, Deadboy."

Angel cast him a surprised look. "Xander?" He rasped.

"Don't make it more than it is. I just want to save her." Xander bit, nodding to Cordelia. Angel looked at him for a minute, and nodded.

"Nice to see you too."

Doyle came forward out of the group that was watching in the doorway, and carefully took the other side from Cordelia.

"Save you strength." He told her. "You're gonna need it."