Cordelia stopped the car and looked over at Willow. Her friend was trembling and sitting on her hip, leaning against the door, her eyes dull holes in her pasty face. Cursing under her breath, Cordelia got out of the car and circled to the other side. Opening the door, she carefully lifted Willow out. Willow hissed as the brunette's arm went around her waist, but leaned again her, uncertain she would be able to make it on her own.

Slowly the two girls walked across the lawn to Willow's French doors. Once inside, Cordelia let Willow sink onto the end of the bed, noticing that she sat barely on one hip, then turned on the light and headed for the bathroom. It took her a few minutes to find something to ease Willow's pain and on her return to the bedroom, she found the redhead trying to remove her shirt.

Dropping the supplies on the bed, Cordelia grabbed the hem of the shirt and together they got it off. There were ugly red stripes across Willow's breasts that would need tending, but Cordelia knew the worst welts were on Willow's bottom. Willow's shoes and skirt quickly joined the shirt on the floor and Cordelia helped her lay on her stomach on the bed.

Willow's back was covered in thin purpling welts from the cane. Glancing down, Cordelia saw that a few dots of blood marred Willow's panties. Carefully, she slid the panties off, gasping slightly at the sight of Willow's bottom. It was one large, purple bruise, with a cut across the curve which still oozed blood in places.

Finding some medicinal creme, Cordelia straddled Willow's thighs and opened the tube. "Do you know how incredibly pissed I am at you?" Her gentle touch as she smoothed on the cream, belied the angry tone of her voice.

Willow jerked slightly at each touch and squeezed her eyes shut at the throbbing pain, her muddled mind partially tuning out Cordelia's continued rant. After a while the cream began to help and Willow started to relax.

"Right, go to sleep. Maybe you'll dream up an excuse for your parents as to why you can't sit down for the next several days!"

"Cordy," Willow said softly. "I needed this...thank you."

"Don't you dare thank me, Willow Rosenburg. I thought it would be okay. I thought it would be no big thing, well, okay, a big enough thing that I didn't feel like I could do it myself, but I thought I could watch, but, damn it, you've made me care about you and I don't want to see you hurt unless I'm doing it and only then if it turns you on so much you fuck me senseless!"

Peeking through one heavy lidded eye, Willow gave her friend a small smile as Cordelia flailed her arms and continued on about whips and stupid demons and something about sex is sex. "Love you, too, Cordy," she murmured.

Cordelia stopped in mid rant and dropped to her knees next to Willow's head. "Oh, Willow. I wish we could go back to the way it was a couple weeks ago. We were just kids out having fun."

"I grew up," Willow replied, her lips drooping into a frown. "Life altering experiences will do that."

Gently Cordelia smoothed Willow's hair away from her face. "No more beatings like that, Willow; please promise me."

"I...didn't think that it would affect you..."

Bending down, Cordelia brushed her lips over Willow's forehead. "I love you, too, silly."

"...stay?" Willow's eyes closed in exhaustion.

"Try kicking me out," the brunette replied, trying to smile.

*****

Friday night...no, make that Saturday morning, and Buffy was out patrolling. She'd made sweeps of four of the twelve cemeteries in Sunnyhell three fledglings found rising, three new piles of dust blowing in the wind--and was just entering the park, when she saw a familiar blonde head rounding a corner.

"Oh goody," Buffy quipped. "My least favorite vampire."

"Slayer. Just the fight I was looking for." Spike stopped five feet from her, looking her over warily as she continued to maintain a casual pose. Casual...but oh so deadly. "I didn't think Angelus let you out past ten, little girl."

"He doesn't own me."

Spike just gave her a very evil look and Buffy squirmed slightly, frowning.

"Why aren't you home fucking your looney girlfriend?"

"Been there, done that, raised an appetite." He licked his lips suggestively.

Buffy sneered. "Why you would prefer that scrawny nutcase over Willow..."

Fury swept across Spike's face, but he quickly brought himself under control and narrowed his eyes. "One wonders why Angelus sometimes prefers the little bitch, too."

Buffy's eyebrows went up and she gave a short laugh. "Calling Dru a bitch now?"

That evil grin returned. "Nah, I was referring to my red haired whore."

That brought Buffy up short and she stared at her nemesis. "I thought you loved her," she said in a snide voice.

"Yeah...well...love's a treacherous bitch."

"What have you done to Willow?" Buffy demanded, suddenly afraid. Spike's demeanor was too familiar...too reminiscent of the old Spike, the one who had liked to hit her a lot.

"I haven't done anything to the bitch...yet." He grinned, flashing a hint of gleaming fang.

"Why are you angry at HER? She's done nothing to you..."

"She ripped out my heart and stomped on it," Spike yelled, then forced himself under control, his nostrils flaring and his eyes flashing, as he clenched his hands into fists.

Buffy tried to gentle her voice. "You cheated on her. That's all she could see it as, Spike. And, then, so many other things went wrong. You just have to let her have some time..."

"We have twenty one days...at the most. No one ever said I had to wait that long."

Buffy pulled a stake from her back pocket and held it up so that he could see it. "You're not going anywhere near her in this mood." They both glared at each other for a minute, then something Spike had said a few minutes before came back to Buffy and she gave him a puzzled look. "What did you mean about Angel and Willow?"

Spike's eyes flared to life and his lip rose in a sneer. "So, she didn't tell you? Not surprising. Self preservation's something she's getting good at."

"Stop being cryptic guy!"

"Oh, you'll love this, Slayer. See, two nights ago, I rolled into Angelus' room to tell him and, well, I thought it was you, to shut the fuck up as he was about to pound the bed through the floor, only to find his head between Willow's legs and her screaming his name in pleasure."

The color drained from Buffy's face and she shook her head slowly. "N...no...I...don't believe...no, you have to be wrong. Willow wouldn't..."

"Oh, she would and she did, thoroughly, since I listened to the whole fucking thing going on above my head," Spike sneered.

"But...but...why?"

Spike shrugged. "I don't really give a rat's ass why she chose to fuck the one person I hate more than anyone else on this bloody planet. She did it. She'll pay for it." He smacked his lips in angry anticipation.

"No...No." The second denial was a little stronger and Buffy took a deep breath. "I won't let her hurt her."

"She betrayed you, too, Slayer."

Swallowing hard at the sudden lump in her throat, Buffy continued, "Doesn't matter. She's human. You're a vamp. I'm the Slayer." She forced herself to straighten her spine and lift the stake.

Spike's eyes narrowed to slits and with a growl he launched himself at her. They went down in a snarling, grappling heap. Dust from the path rose around them as they rolled, neither one getting the upper hand.

Buffy lost the stake early in the battle and didn't try to reach for another. A tiny part of her remembered the need to keep him alive, but she was so furious at everyone and her anger was choking her. As she straddled his hips, she planted her fist in his throat, making his eyes roll back.

Keeping him alive, didn't mean she couldn't hurt him.

Spike backhanded her, knocking her to the side. He followed her over, banging her head into the ground, his hands on her shoulders. It would be so easy to move his hands inwards and circle her throat.

But...he didn't want to kill her.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

Growling, his demon emerged, only to find itself flipped over Buffy's head to land in a heap. Spike felt a rib break as her foot found his side, then she was on top of him again, hitting him over and over.

Through the ringing in his ears, he could hear her chanting one word.

"Bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard..." Sudden tears streamed down Buffy's face and she flung herself off Spike, stumbling to her feet. Swaying dizzily from the blows he had landed, Buffy kicked him hard in the groin, then turned and fled.

Groaning in agony, Spike cupped his injured genitals, rolling into a ball, his demon in full retreat. As the pain began to fade, he laughed harshly. Was no one allowed to take out their anger on the one deserving it?

Angelus hit Drusilla because he couldn't hit Buffy any more. He himself hit Willow when he really wanted to hit himself. Buffy hit him when she wanted to hit both Angelus and Willow, probably. And, now he was hitting Buffy because he didn't dare hit Willow.

If he hit her...he would most certainly kill her with one blow.

And, though a large, growling part of him wanted that, craved that, Buffy's kick in the balls had brought back a bit of his rational side...the part that was hopelessly in love with a treacherous, red haired whore.

He couldn't kill Willow...couldn't even hurt Willow...either would destroy him and truly set the demon free.

Sunnyhell really didn't need two Angelus' running around.

Picking himself up out of the dirt, wincing at the lingering pain in his body, Spike dusted himself off and headed home. He really wanted to see Willow and see if she was as miserable as he was, but that probably wasn't a good idea considering the mood he was in. The demon was still there, just waiting for her to anger him into releasing it.

As he turned down an alleyway, he saw a couple of teenage girls leave the back of the Burger King. Perfect. Fighting always made him hungry.

The horny part, Drusilla could take care of later.

*****

Buffy quickly found herself at Willow's house. She noted Cordelia's car in the driveway and remembered Willow mentioning that her parents would be out of town all weekend. Buffy was glad Willow wasn't alone. Creeping up the lawn, she reached the French doors and tried to peek in through the blinds, but the room was dark. Sighing, she sank down on the paving stone, wrapping her arms around her knees. She'd protect Willow from Spike.

Who would protect Willow from her?

Willow had slept with Angel...apparently willingly. How? Why? How could she have done this to her? She was supposed to be Buffy's best friend. Why would she have risked her life like that? Why...Angel?

Buffy felt tears leak out of her eyes and lowered her head to her knees, sobbing quietly.

*****

Spike rolled into the mansion and into his room. His hope that he would find Drusilla draped across his bed were dashed by the sight of the empty room. Sighing, he rose from the chair and removed his jacket, then sat on the bed to pull off his boots and t-shirt. From above his head came the loud creaking of bed springs and he narrowed his eyes.

Of course, the Slayer was out wandering around in the middle of the night because her demon lover was upstairs banging Drusilla.

Cursing under his breath, Spike flopped on his back and glared daggers at the ceiling. Closing his eyes, he couldn't help but tune in to the sounds of pleasure Angelus' grunts and growls; Drusilla's whimpers and moans.

Spike's cock jumped to attention and he cursed fluidly. He knew he could go join them, but that would mean submitting to Angelus and he wasn't ready to do that.

Instead, Spike unfastened his pants and began to caress his cock, keeping his eyes closed. An image of Drusilla, her tongue running over his throbbing member, grew before his eyes and he sighed in pleasure. His hand moved faster, up and down, imagining it was her cold mouth.

Suddenly the cold was replaced by heat and in his mind he saw dark brown hair change to red. Hot, eager lips engulfed his cock, sucking and licking, little teeth nibbling until he groaned and arched his back, thrusting hard.

"Bitch," he cried as he came, splashing his semen onto his stomach and hand.

Spike opened his eyes and heard Drusilla howl in pleasure. "Fuck..."

*****

Cordelia lay on her side, watching Willow sleep. The redhead had succumbed to the painkiller she had left over from her dental surgery and was deeply asleep. She was also still in pain. Cordelia could see that on her face, even in the darkness of the room.

Sighing, Cordelia turned onto her back, careful not to disturb her friend. Her mind went over and over the events of the evening. The auction, the beating, Willow's obvious pain and obvious need for pain. Cordelia wasn't sure what bothered her most.

She was also disturbed by the fact that watching Willow being beaten had aroused her as much as if she had actively participated. Willow hadn't been turned on by the whipping, which Cordelia was a little baffled by. According to the redhead, every time she had been beaten before, it had led to fantastic sex. Why not this time? What was different?

Cordelia knew there was a sadistic streak inside her--she refused to label herself a sadist, preferring dominatrix--but it was just for kicks...right? She and Willow and she and Xander, they just did it for the fun and for the sex.

Sitting up and swinging her trembling legs over the side of the bed, Cordelia nibbled on her lower lip, her mind whirling with the buried knowledge that somewhere in her personality was a person who needed to cause pain, just as her two lovers needed to feel it.

For the first time, she began to wonder if there wasn't something wrong in that.

Willow had wanted to be punished, to feel pain for pain's sake, not to become aroused, not for fun. She had wanted to hurt, to suffer. It hadn't been a game.

And Cordelia had participated, had enjoyed watching Willow suffer. And that bothered her very much.

So did the fact that she was trembling from unfulfilled lust.

Rising from the bed, Cordelia padded out of the room and into the bathroom. Turning on the light and closing the door, she avoided looking in the mirror and faced the bathtub. Sighing, she pulled her t-shirt over her head and shimmied out of her panties, then turned on the water, filling the bathtub.

Sliding into the hot water, she leaned forward and grabbed the hand-held shower, turning it on. Adjusting the knob to hard jet, she spread her legs and aimed the spray at her pulsing clit. Pleasure hit her and she moaned, resting her head on a suctioned cushion and closing her eyes. Closing her legs around the nozzle, she raised her hands to her hardening nipples and tugged at them.

As the tension inside her grew, she squirmed, aiming the jet at all her sensitive parts, whimpering as her whole body began to tingle and her breath grew short. Her mind thankfully blanked and she caressed her breasts harder, rubbing the nipples in time with the pulses in her cleft.

Suddenly, her orgasm crashed through her, making her buck her hips and cry out softly, her fingers squeezing bruises on her firm breasts. Gasping for breath, she managed to turn off the shower spray, then collapsed back against the pillow, trembling with pleasure. Keeping her eyes closed, she let her mind drift, keeping it away from all thoughts of the evening before and her bizarre relationships.

*****

Willow opened her eyes and smiled sleepily up at her lover. She realized she lay on her stomach, on a blanket, beneath the warm sun. The sounds of birds and children playing nearby came to her, along with the gentle splash of water. They were in the park, at the pond, one of her favorite places. Turning onto her side, she propped her head on one hand, still smiling.

"Have a nice nap?" he asked as his hand casually caressed her hip.

"Ummm, yes. I had such lovely dreams."

"Was I in them?" There was a hint of wicked humor in his voice and Willow flushed.

"Always, my love."

Suddenly, the sun disappeared, replaced by darkest night and her lover's hands grabbed her, yanking her to her knees. Frightened, she looked up, but saw only shadows where his face should be. She tried to pull away, but his grip was too tight.

"Always, my love?" he mimicked, mocking her. "You love me so much you risk your life, your health, your sanity?"

"Let me go," Willow cried, shaking with fear and grief.

His answer snapped back at her, making her moan. "I don't think so." With a twist of his wrist, he yanked her face down over his lap. She felt his hands jerking her skirt up and wriggled, trying to get away. "Looks like someone got to your ass before me."

Willow flinched at the bitter sarcasm in his voice and dug her fingers into the blanket, trying to pull herself off his lap. "Please..."

"No, Willow. You should be pleasing ME." His hand fell hard on her bottom and Willow shrieked. The blows continued until she was writhing in agony, tears streaming down her hot cheeks, her voice hoarse from crying. Her lover shoved her off his lap and she curled into a ball, shaking from pain and shock.

The sound of his zipper being pulled down made her freeze, her breath catching in her throat. A new terror flooded her and she squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting this, not this way.

In a voice dripping with ice, he ordered, "Get on your hands and knees."

Willow scrambled to obey, terribly afraid of what he might do if she didn't. She felt his hands on her hips, pulling them apart and flinched at the pain of her wounded flesh. "Did you let him fuck you?" Fury vibrated in his voice and she quickly shook her head. He pressed against her, his cock a hard weapon, and she moaned. "Who do you belong to, Willow?"

Suddenly the fear faded and Willow felt an unfamiliar strength flood her. "Me," she answered calmly. "I belong to me, no matter what you do...Angelus."

The hands on her body disappeared and the sun returned, nearly blinding her. Shakily, she pushed herself up onto her knees and sat back on her heels, amazed that she was no longer in any pain. Shielding her eyes, she saw a figure emerge from the sun and walk towards her.

Buffy dropped to her knees in front of Willow and took her hands. "It's the only way, Will. You have to stay strong or you'll never survive. If you give them everything that makes you you, they'll own you forever, body and soul."

"I love him, Buffy. I love Spike."

Buffy smiled sadly. "I know you do. And I love Angel. We both let ourselves get lost for a while, but we're finding our way back to ourselves. Don't ever forget that. Love him, but keep your soul."

The Slayer rose to her feet and began to back up slowly, into the sun. "Remember, Willow. Remember who you are."

*****

Willow awoke with a start and shifted, then whimpered at the pain that sliced through her. Trembling, she turned her head and saw Cordelia curled next to her, fast asleep in the early morning gloom.

Closing her eyes, the images of the dream already fading, Willow willed herself back to sleep, away from the pain, but strangely enough she felt better than she had in weeks.

*****

Disgusted, Spike turned off the television and tossed the remote aside. One of the decided disadvantages of being a night person meant that there was only crap, infomercials and more crap on the telly after ten at night. Glancing over at his nightstand, he contemplated finishing the latest Anne Rice claptrap, but then decided he wasn't in the mood to read about angsty vampires. All the good books were in the library which meant getting in that horrible chair, and he wasn't in the mood for that either.

Sighing heavily, he flopped back on his pillows, trying to think of something to do that didn't involve moving off the bed.

He'd already jacked off once only to be bombarded by images of his redheaded slut in the throws of passion. But, maybe the porn channel would keep his mind busy...as long as none of the tramps had red hair.

Picking the remote back up, he turned the television on and flipped to the porn channel, glad that some of the fledglings had convinced Angelus to pay the extra ten bucks a month to make up for the fact that most of the female vamps wouldn't touch them with ten foot poles.

On the screen, a surgically enhanced, bleach blonde was giving a tattooed, bald guy an enthusiastic blowjob, while another guy pounded her from behind. Feeling his cock expanding in his jeans, Spike quickly stripped off the rest of his clothes, then lay back naked to watch the show.

As the guy going at it doggie style started smacking his pelvis hard against the woman's jiggling ass, Spike wrapped his hand around his cock and hissed at the sensitivity. Carefully he caressed himself, his fingers running over very familiar flesh.

The woman's cheeks ballooned around the cock in her mouth and he watched the bald guy thrust his hips, grunting each time he hit her throat. Impressed that she could actually deep throat, Spike moved his hand faster, the fingers of his other hand caressing the weeping tip of his cock, then moving down to fondle his heavy balls.

The door to his room opened and Drusilla slipped in, wearing only a nearly sheer robe and yawning. Her eyes widened at the sight before her and she licked her lips as she discarded the robe. "Don't waste it."

Spike watched her crawl onto the bed and kneel facing the television, wiggling her ass. Grunting, he moved behind her and gripped her hips, then thrust his cock deep inside her slick, cold passage.

Drusilla moaned and bucked back against him, her eyes never leaving the threesome on the screen. As he fucked her hard and fast, her pussy squeezing his cock on every thrust, Spike watched the two men on the show pumping their cocks over the woman's open mouth. As they sprayed their cum, he growled and exploded into Drusilla, jerking her hard against him.

Mewling, Drusilla's eyes glazed over with lust as everyone came but her. As Spike pulled out of her, shuddering and suddenly exhausted, Drusilla rolled onto her back and dug her hand into her sopping pussy, rolling her clit between her long nailed fingers until she cried his name and climaxed.

Spike turned off the television and tugged Drusilla's limp, trembling body with him under the blankets. She curled against him, her leg wrapping across his thighs as she sleepily murmured her love for him.

Turning off the bedside lamp, Spike closed his eyes. Tired, limp from release, he should have been satisfied.

But, he wasn't.

*****

Morning came and found the Slayer sitting on the hill in Springhill Cemetery, leaning against a crumbling tombstone. She had left Willow's an hour before, realizing that Spike wasn't coming. Her eyes were finally dry; her mind empty of all thought. She sat and watched the sun rise over the distant horizon, chasing away the dangerous night.

The rising of the sun usually brought with it a lifting of the Slayer's spirits, but this morning all she felt was empty...and betrayed.

*****

The slamming of the bedroom door woke Spike and he jerked upright, thankfully with enough of his faculties in place to remember not to move his legs. Angel stood in the doorway glowering.

Next to Spike, Drusilla stirred and rubbed her cheek against his side. "Sleepy time, Spike."

"Get up, my lovely whore," Angel snarled.

Drusilla's eyes flew open and she scrabbled to her knees, her arms wrapping around her trembling body. She whispered, "Daddy."

Spike swung his torso around, blocking her naked body from their sire's angry eyes. "What do you want?" he asked in a cold, controlled voice.

"My women don't leave my bed and crawl into another man's unless I give my permission, right Dru?"

"I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. Please..." she babbled, pressing herself to Spike's back.

"I woke up with a hard dick and no willing mouth to take care of it."

Drusilla started to climb past Spike and he grabbed her arm, stopping her. "Use your hand," he snapped, pulling the sheet up over Drusilla's naked body.

Spike's covering a view he had seen thousands of times, only made Angel snort. "Boy, what do you think you're doing?"

Spike was asking himself the same question.

"It's okay, Spike," Drusilla said in a small voice. "I'll go with daddy."

"You don't have to go anywhere, Dru. The wanker doesn't own you."

Another snort and Angel strode farther into the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He reached for Drusilla and yanked her off the bed before Spike could react. Holding her on her tiptoes, he ran his eyes insolently over her pale, naked body. "I own every inch of this, Spikey. Just like I own every inch of you."

Drusilla trembled and whimpered, trying to pull free of Angel's painful grasp.

"Stop it," Spike cried hoarsely. It was so obvious that Drusilla didn't want Angel at the moment. "Leave her alone, for once."

"And my hard on?" Angel asked, a hint of a nasty grin on his face. He was amused by Spike's defiance.

Spike swallowed and narrowed his eyes, his hands clenching into fists in his lap. "I'll take care of the bloody thing."

As Angel grinned widely, Drusilla shook her head and looked over her shoulder. "Nooo, Spike, no, it's okay. You don't have to...I know you don't want to..."

"It's okay, luv," he said softly. Spike's eyes met Angel's and a look passed between the two men. Angel nodded almost imperceptibly and released Drusilla. "Go to your room, Dru. No one will bother you today."

Grabbing her robe, she skittered out of the room, wrapping it around herself.

Angel turned and closed the door, then gave Spike an amused look. "I figure you don't want an audience."

"Let's get this over with," Spike answered coldly.

"No soft music, candles, whispered endearments?"

Giving a bored sigh, Spike gestured to the television. "The T.V.'s tuned to the porn channel."

Angel chuckled evilly and slipped his fingers into the waistband of his leather pants, finding the first button. "I'm not reciprocating, my boy."

"Like I'd get aroused by you."

That just seemed to amuse Angel further and he unfastened his pants, freeing his erect cock as he moved to stand in front of Spike. Carefully Spike swung both legs over the side of the bed, artfully faking his paralysis. Narrowing his eyes to slits, he forced down the instinct to growl and sneer. Bending down, he sucked the weeping head of his sire's cock into his mouth.

Angel grunted and slid his fingers into Spike's hair, thrusting his hips and driving his cock deeper.

Letting his eyes fall shut, Spike sucked automatically, his mind going back to the few other times recently that Angel had forced him to perform oral sex.

The first had been shortly after the disaster with the judge. Angel had been pissed and had taken control of the clan...and had taken Drusilla away from Spike, showing her who was the master now by not only fucking her for six hours, but forcing her to watch him straddle Spike's head and fuck his face for an hour.

The second time had been the morning after Spike had taken Willow to the drive-in. Angel had stormed into his room and forced him to suck him off. This time it hadn't taken very long for his sire to come and no explanation had been forthcoming. Spike had found it very odd since Angel had smelled of the Slayer and his cock had tasted like female pussy.

Focusing on the task at hand, Spike sucked rigorously and fast, hoping to bring off Angel quickly. The fingers in his hair tightened and Angel thrust hard, driving his cock down Spike's throat. Forcing aside his gag reflex, Spike relaxed his muscles and accepted it, his tongue swirling around the hard flesh filling his mouth.

With a loud grunt, Angel came, driving his cock powerfully, sending his semen down Spike's throat. Spike swallowed instinctively, pulling his mouth back until he sucked on the tip, then let Angel's cock slip free.

Grunting again, Angel tucked his sinking cock away and refastened his pants. Spike wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, cleaning his lips of the cum that had dripped out, then cooly looked up at his sire.

"We done here? Because I'd really like to get some sleep."

Angel grinned nastily and rubbed his hand over Spike's head, as if petting a child. With a low growl, Spike jerked his head back. "All done...for now." He dropped his eyes to the other male's naked chest. "I'm thinking now that you have the feeling back in your lower limbs...maybe you need a good ass fucking."

"Go fuck the Slayer's ass," Spike snapped at Angel's cheerful, lusty tone of voice.

Laughing, Angel strolled out of the room. "Don't you get it, my boy? I get to have it all."

As the door closed behind his sire, Spike let out a sigh of relief and disgust and rose from the bed, stomping into his bathroom for a long, hot, skin-scrubbing shower.

It was just a matter of time before Angel completed his mastery of him.

And Spike hated it. More than he hated anything else. More than he hated Willow's betrayal. Why did that prick get to have it all?

*****

Cordelia woke to the sound of the doorbell. She nearly called out for the maid before she remembered where she was. Blinking her eyes, she waited to see if the person would go away, then the bell rang again. Sighing, she slid from the bed, yawned and padded out of the room wearing only a long t-shirt. Running her hand through her tangled hair and yawning again, she opened the door.

Xander stared at his girlfriend. "Cordy."

"Um...hi."

His eyes ran over her skimpy outfit. "Interesting look."

"Um...why are you here?"

Xander held up a bag of Dunkin Donuts donuts. "Saturday morning ritual. Okay, we haven't actually done it for a while, but I thought Will might like some cheering up. What are you doing here?"

"I spent the night. Willow's asleep."

As he brushed past her to enter the house, Xander gave her a concerned look. "It's nearly ten in the morning. She never sleeps this late."

"...We had a hard night." Cordelia grabbed the donuts with one hand and her boyfriend's arm with the other, trying to steer him out the still open door. Xander pushed it shut and shook himself free of Cordelia.

"What's going on, Cordy?" he asked suspiciously. "Is Willow all right?"

"What? Oh, sure, fine. She's just been having a hard time recently."

"I know that, hence the donuts. Got jelly ones, her favorites." He took the donut bag back and started down the hall, ignoring Cordelia who tried to grab him again. She trailed behind him, clueless as to what to say to stop him or prepare him. Xander walked into Willow's room and stopped dead in his tracks.

Cordelia bounced off his back, then peered around him. Willow lay on her side, naked from the waist up. "I told you not to go in there," Cordelia hissed as she pushed past him and ran to cover Willow, glad that the marks on her breast weren't visible in the dim light.

Willow stirred and moaned, shoving the blanket back down to her waist. Flustered, Cordelia yanked it back up. "Stop that," she hissed at the sleeping girl, then turned to see Xander still staring, mouth wide open. "What?"

"Naked...Will...naked...Will..."

Grabbing Xander's arm, she jerked him back into the hall and closed the door behind her.

"My brain's shutting down," Xander mumbled as Cordelia led him to the kitchen. She needed coffee, massive amounts of it, before she could deal with much more. Shoving Xander into a chair at the table, she put the coffee pot on.

"So...anything fat-free in that bag?"

Xander stared blankly at her and she sighed. Sitting down across from him, she opened the bag, pulled out a chocolate donut and took a huge fat-filled bite.

"I don't think God meant me to see Willow naked," Xander said out of nowhere.

"You didn't see her naked. You saw one partial breast naked."

Xander flushed and shook his head in denial. "Willow doesn't have breasts," he said, lowering his voice to a whisper on the last word.

At that, Cordelia started to laugh, unable to help herself. "You are such a goof!" Getting up, she poured them each some coffee, then returned to her seat. "Drink the coffee. Maybe it'll unfreeze your brain."

Obediently Xander took a sip, then made a face and reached for the sugar bowl, heaping in several spoonfuls. Taking a jelly donut out of the bag, he munched on it. "I didn't realize you and Willow were friends."

Another statement out of nowhere. Cordelia sighed. "I lost most of my friends by dating you, so I've had to make do." Xander frowned at her and Cordelia shrugged. "Okay...I like her. She's hurting right now...and she asked me to stay..."

"I'm just surprised she didn't ask Buffy."

"Um...I was there." One more thing she was keeping from Xander. Sighing softly, Cordelia took another sip of her coffee and began to wonder how Xander would react to the truth about her relationship with Willow.

*****

Drusilla dreamed of a darkened, angry sky and a field strewn with the bloody, dismembered corpses of bunnies. She strolled through the carnage, humming to herself, clutching Miss Edith in her arms. A few feet in front of her from behind a tree, Angel stepped out onto the field, dragging the Slayer with him. The girl was limp against him, her eyes staring blankly.

"You broke her, daddy?"

"Don't I break all my toys, Dru?"

She nodded sagely and clutched the doll closer. A cold wind swept across the field, bringing with it the smell of death. The Slayer slid to her knees, her hands fumbling with the fastenings of Angel's pants.

"Naughty Slayer," Drusilla scolded. "Daddy doesn't want YOU to kiss his thingie." Helplessly, she watched the Slayer take out Angel's erection and listlessly slide her mouth over it.

Suddenly, Spike stood behind her, peering over her shoulder. "He wants it all, luv," he whispered into Drusilla's ear.

"Noooo," she moaned. "My Angel's MINE."

"You've lost them all, you loon," Willow said, sliding her body around the tree trunk. Her skin glistened like chalk and her green eyes sparkled evilly. She wore a tiny, black, leather tank dress that barely covered her. "They're mine now." One pale, black-nailed hand caressed Angel's cheek, while the other reached out for Spike.

He passed Drusilla without looking back. Sidestepping the Slayer who continued to suck Angel's cock, he wrapped his arms around the redhead's waist, pillowing his head on top of hers.

"No," Drusilla cried, stamping her foot. "You promised to love me forever."

Both males gave her pitying looks and the foursome disappeared, leaving Drusilla alone with Miss Edith and thousands of dead bunnies.

"No," she whispered, turning and turning until she grew dizzy and collapsed to the bloody ground, her tear-filled eyes closing.

A warm hand brushed her trembling face and Drusilla's eyes opened. It was the redhead, the little witch who had stolen her Spike, the Willow tree. Looking around, Drusilla saw that the bunnies were gone and she lay on her bed, the little girl reclining next to her, her naked flesh glowing with life.

"You're not a vampire," Drusilla mumbled, confused, her brows furrowing, as Willow stroked her cold cheek.

"I never will be, Dru, no matter what Angelus says."

"Daddy loves the Slayer," she whimpered pitifully, turning her face into Willow's warm breasts.

"It will be all right, Dru. We'll make it all right," Willow crooned, stroking the female vampire's long hair and shuddering shoulders.

With a start, Drusilla sat up, eyes wide and flickering around her darkened room. Puzzled, she slowly lay back down. The little redhead was a vampire and wasn't a vampire and liked her?

And daddy had the Slayer...

*****

Cordelia finished her donut and looked up at her boyfriend, seeing him staring pensively across the room. "What is it?"

"When did we all grow up, Cordy?"

He was being serious, very serious, and she took another sip of coffee while she thought about her answer. "I think...when we realized that the demons and monsters of our childhood nightmares were real. Learning that we live on the mouth of Hell made us grow up fast...maybe too fast. It made us learn to accept certain things and do certain things...we might not ever have done."

"...Like the beatings?" he asked softly.

Cordelia started, then realized he was talking about himself. "I often wonder if there are any other seventeen year old dominatrixes out there."

"Do you really see yourself as that?"

She nodded slowly. "Oh, not like I'm going to wear leather all the time and get my own 900 number...but I like it, Xander. I like the power and the exhilaration, and, sure, the intense lust. It turns me on. And I'm not sure I ever would have discovered that if this wasn't the Hellmouth."

"I'm sure Willow never imagined herself screwing a demon, either," Xander added with a hint of bitterness.

"Probably not." She finished her coffee and wiped her hand on a paper napkin. "Xan, she's really not up to seeing you today, to seeing anyone. Let me make sure she's going to be okay and I'll meet you at my house, say, oneish?"

He nodded slowly and rose to his feet. "Okay. You'll give her the donuts?"

"Are there any left?" she teased, then nodded. "Yeah. I'll make sure she knows you brought them."

Xander reddened slightly. "Um, don't tell her I saw her...you know..."

"Breast, Xander, breast. You can say it. You do say it. You call them every euphemism known to man."

"Well, sure, when they're yours!"

Grinning, Cordelia escorted him to the door and gave him a passionate kiss goodbye. "If you're a good boy, maybe you'll get to see them later."

"Oh, I'll be good," he swore, crossing his heart. With a flippant grin, he headed down the driveway. Cordelia closed the door and walked back to Willow's bedroom.

Willow was awake and fiddling with her Winnie the Pooh.

"How are you feeling, Willow?"

"Like someone took a two by four to my ass. Could you get me a t-shirt out of the bottom drawer?" As Cordelia went to do that, Willow struggled to her feet, trying to bite back the moans of pain. "Damn...this was so stupid..."

Cordelia bit back her immediate response and helped Willow into a long t-shirt with a faded L.A. Dodgers logo on it. "Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

Willow nodded and leaned against Cordelia, allowing her to help her to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, Willow was propped up on her side in her bed, trembling from pain and exertion and nibbling on a jelly donut. "He got blueberry, my favorite."

"Yeah, he does have some uses." Cordelia sat on the desk chair sipping another cup of coffee.

Willow flushed slightly. "Thanks for telling him I wasn't up to seeing him. He'd flip."

"Rightly so."

"Okay. I was stupid. Can we move on?

Sighing, Cordelia nodded. "Do you want to know what's really sick?" she mused. "I really want to beat your ass for letting yourself be beaten so badly."

Willow started to chuckle, then laughed until tears began to stream down her cheeks. Concerned, Cordelia started to rise to her feet, but Willow gestured her back, shaking her head, now crying. She sobbed for ten minutes, for her pain, her loss, her anger, her sorrow, her despair...for Spike.

Finally she began to calm down and lay limply, brushing feebly at her wet cheeks. "I love him, Cordy. I really do."

"I know, hon," Cordelia responded sympathetically.

"I just don't want to."

*****

After three hours laying on her stomach, Willow was bored out of her mind. She had vowed to herself at least ten times that she would never consent to being beaten so brutally again. She had tried to read, but her arms kept getting tired and her neck was growing sore.

Now she listened to Sarah McLachlan's "Surfacing" play over and over, as it was the only CD in the machine.

Cordelia had left after lunch to spend some quality time with Xander, and wouldn't be back until dinner time. Luckily Willow's parents were away at a weekend conference in Seattle and Cordelia's parents didn't appear to care what she did as long as she didn't bother them.

The tears were all gone and Willow felt somewhat better at least, emotionally. She was trying very hard not to think about the revelation that she did love Spike. She just didn't know what to do about that, and she still was very uncomfortable with the notion of sharing him and the fact that he was a killer.

Of course, the fact that he was incredibly pissed at her right now, certainly didn't help her in making any decisions. It was easier to just put it out of her mind and try to study for her history test on Monday.

She flipped the book open to the chapter on the Roaring 20s, as Sarah sang plaintively.
 

*What ravages of spirit
conjured this tempestuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love
and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do*

'Do What You Have to Do'...the theme song of Willow's life...

*****

Cordelia tugged Xander into her room and closed the door, locking it behind her. Leaning against it, she grinned lustily. "Strip."

"Um, Cordy, your mom's downstairs..."

"Yeah, on at least her third 'g & t' of the day. Strip," she said in a sterner voice.

Xander shrugged and pulled his t-shirt over his head as he kicked off his tennis shoes. He was quickly naked, shifting from foot to foot, his hands clasped in front of his half-hard cock.

Cordelia ran appraising eyes over him, then walked into her closet. A few minutes later she emerged wearing black pumps, black stockings and a red satin corset which barely covered her breasts and left exposed her neatly trimmed pussy. She carried several lengths of soft rope and a small leather ring. She tossed him the ring.

"What is this?" Xander asked, looking at the object which closed in two places with snaps.

"A cock ring. Get yourself hard, then put it on. It goes around your balls, too." As she spoke, Cordelia began to tie the ropes to the posts of her bed.

"Um, Cordy..." She gave him a sharp look and he flushed. "Um, mistress, your mom's going to hear..."

"Which is why we'll be doing only the B in BDS&M." As she passed him, she smacked him in the ass. "I want your cock hard, now, Xander."

His hand circled his penis and began to caress it, yanking gently until it reached full erection. He put the cock ring on, gasping at the tightness.

Cordelia's hand reached out and caressed the tip of his cock, making it jerk and causing him to gasp for air. "Good boy. Now, lay down on your back."

Obeying, Xander quickly found himself bound, spread eagled. He took deep, measured breaths, trying to remain in control as excitement flooded him.

Putting on some background music, Cordelia opened her dresser and pulled out a thin, cylindrical, hard plastic object and a matching much thicker one. She walked over to the bed and knelt between Xander's spread legs, tossing the thicker object down beside her.

She held up the thin one. "Do you know what this is?" At the shake of his head, she continued, "It's a vibrator, not very powerful, but stimulating enough." Sliding it between her lips, she ran her tongue over it, wetting it, then placed it between Xander's legs. He gasped as it slid into his tightly puckered anus. "You might want to relax a bit."

Xander bit his lip as the vibrator filled him, and he swallowed hard, wondering, as he often did, where she got her ideas.

Grinning, Cordelia flipped the switch and watched as he jerked in shocked pleasure. Moving to straddle his hips, she took his cock in her hand and lowered herself onto it. "Oh baby, you are in for a ride..." Gripping his sides with her knees, she began to move on him, grinding her clit against the hard leather at the base of his cock.

Xander groaned and tugged at the ropes, his eyes nearly rolling back in his head at the tight, tingling pleasure in his ass combining with her vaginal muscles squeezing his cock.

Cordelia splayed her hands across his chest and leaned forward, bouncing hard on his cock, driving it deep inside her grasping channel. The tension inside her grew with each stroke until she was gasping and moaning as she slammed against him. With a cry of pleasure, she came, spasming around his cock and making him cry her name.

Sliding off him, Cordelia smiled as she saw he remained hard, his cock nearly purple with lust. Panting for breath, she moved between his legs and took hold of the vibrator. Slowly she began to pump it in his tight ass, making him groan and jerk in painful pleasure. Lowering her head, she licked the pre-cum and her own juices from the tip of his cock, making him arch against her mouth.

"Please," he begged hoarsely.

"Oh...not yet." Removing the vibrator, she turned it off and dropped it, picking up the other one. Turning the switch to high, she inserted it in her still pulsing vagina and leaned against the footboard, moaning in pleasure as the vibrations ran through her. Wrapping her fingers around the end, she thrust the vibrator at a rapid pace, her hips bouncing on the bed.

The fingers of her other hand found her clit and she rubbed it in time with her thrusts. Her breathing quickened and she flung her head back, then forward, her eyes locking with Xander's hot ones. He licked his lips as he watched her, and Cordelia came, moaning his name.

As she relaxed, a smile on her face, she pulled the vibrator out of herself and turned it off, tossing it aside. Stretching languidly, Cordelia slithered up Xander's body, rubbing against his straining cock. "Ummmm, so hard. Does it hurt?" she murmured in his ear as she undulated her cleft against his erection.

"...Yes," Xander hissed, arching up, trying to find entrance.

"Do you want to come?"

"Yes!"

Raising her head, Cordelia looked into his flushed face, his burning eyes, and shook her head. "Not yet."

Xander grunted and bit his inner cheek, snorting as he took rapid breaths. His hands pulled on the ropes around his wrists, but Cordelia knew knots.

Moving higher up his body, she raised herself to her knees and straddled his head. With a moan of pleasure, Cordelia lowered her pussy over his mouth and gasped at the first swipe of his tongue on her aching clit. "Ooh, yeah, tongue me..." Gripping the headboard, she moved on his mouth, feeling his lips and tongue laving her hot, wet flesh.

Xander licked hard, running his tongue up and down her wet pussy. Finally, he captured her pulsing clit between his lips and sucked. He heard her whimpering, felt tremors run through the legs that pressed against his arms, and bit gently.

Digging her nails into the padded headboard, Cordelia bit her lip and came, exploding into spasms of ecstasy. Xander tugged on her tender flesh with his teeth, drawing out her orgasm until she collapsed beside him, shaking and whimpering.

After a few minutes, she had the strength to turn her head and looked down his body to see that his cock was still hard and throbbing. Sliding down the bed, she again moved between his legs and looked up to meet his glazed eyes. "Do you want to come, Xander?"

"Yes, mistress," he pleaded softly.

"When I say. If you fail, you wear the cock ring for forty-eight hours straight."

He nodded, gulping at her threat and taking a deep breath. Cordelia unsnapped the leather, careful to touch him as little as possible. Tugging the front of her corset down, she freed her breasts, mounding them unnaturally high, then leaned down and trapped his cock between the firm globes.

Xander gasped and thrust uncontrollably, gritting his teeth. Propped on her elbows, Cordelia undulated her breasts, driving his cock into the tight channel. The tip oozed pre-cum which smeared across her golden flesh and she smiled. He continued to thrust, groaning and panting, wanting so desperately to come, but holding back.

Finally, Cordelia pressed down, trapping his cock between her breasts and his stomach. "You may come, Xander."

Groaning, Xander arched his hips and exploded, covering Cordelia's breasts with sticky semen, his cock jerking in release. "Thank you, mistress," he panted, tears running down his cheeks, as the pleasure overwhelmed him.

Sitting up, Cordelia removed the corset, then slid up to sit on his stomach. Leaning back down, she gave one more order, "Lick your cum off me."

Immediately, Xander lifted his head and lapped at her breasts, his rough tongue cleaning her trembling flesh.

*****

The doorbell rang, but Willow ignored it, still trying to concentrate on her history text, having finally found the remote and turned off Sarah before she made her burst into fresh tears. A few minutes later, there was a knock on her French doors and she glanced up. Buffy stood on the other side of the glass.

Flustered, Willow tried to rise, only to stumble, moaning in pain. Buffy rushed in and caught her before she could fall. As the Slayer's arms circled her back, Willow cried out and her t- shirt rode up.

"What the Hell?" Buffy exclaimed at the sight of bruises on Willow's upper thighs. Spinning the redhead around, Buffy raised the t-shirt higher and gasped in shock. "Oh my God..."

Flushing, Willow tugged the t-shirt back down and staggered back to the bed, falling on her stomach.

"Who the Hell did this to you?" Buffy demanded. "Spike...?" Had Spike come to Willow's after all?

"No...I'm...okay, Buffy. Just a little sore."

"If not Spike...Cordy? I can't believe she would hurt you so much."

"No, she wouldn't."

Buffy slumped into the computer chair, staring at the feverish look on Willow's face. "Who beat you?" she asked softly.

Willow looked away, guilt and pain eating at her. Nibbling on her lower lip, she pillowed her head on her arms and stared at Buffy's knees. "Buffy...please...I'll be okay. I don't want to talk about this."

Buffy's nostrils flared and she crossed her arms over her chest, then sighed in exasperation. "Okay, how about we talk about you fucking Angel."

Willow went white beneath the flush. She choked and raised her eyes, wincing at the anger on her best friend's face. "Wh..what?"

"Oh, please, I can see it all over your face," Buffy snapped.

"I...I was going to tell you," Willow protested feebly, slowly moving onto her side and propping her head up on her hand.

"Oh really? And when would that be? You haven't said two words to me since Wednesday. Let me guess, you fucked my boyfriend that night."

"Buffy, please..."

"I didn't want to believe it," Buffy said, shaking her head. "After all our talks about betrayal, I couldn't believe you would do that."

"I'm sorry," Willow whispered, a single tear leaking from one of her eyes. "I...got confused. He called me and I was so alone and so scared and so lost. It seemed to make sense at the time."

"Do you know the danger you put yourself in?" Buffy choked out. "You went to his bed, in his lair, where he has all the power."

"He...he said he wouldn't kill me." Willow cringed at how pathetic her words sounded and wasn't surprised at Buffy's flash of anger.

"Why on Earth would you trust him?"

"Why do you?" Willow snapped back.

"Oh no, don't you turn this around on me," Buffy yelled in anger. "You cheated with my boyfriend. You put yourself in mortal danger for a fuck."

"It was stupid. I know it was stupid. I needed...I needed to forget, even for a few minutes. I couldn't deal with my life, so I did something stupid. Don't tell me you've never done anything that stupid, because I know you have. Who's been there every time Angel's used you and beaten you and left you tied up?"

"Why Angel?" Buffy cried, ignoring Willow's accusation. "If you needed a senseless fuck, why not go pick up someone at the Bronze?"

"I never would have...He called me. Why aren't you mad at him?"

"I am...but...I can't..." Tears streamed down Buffy's face and her anger crumbled. "I know he screws Dru and probably every other female vamp he makes...but...you...you're my best friend, and you know how I feel about him."

"About Angel," Willow said softly. "Only, he's not Angel."

Buffy's eyes went cold and she straightened her spine, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. "I don't need you to tell me that. You're mad at Spike for sleeping with Dru, who he's loved for a hundred years. Why can't you understand why I'm mad at you for screwing my guy?"

"I do understand," Willow answered dully, dropping her eyes to stare at the floor. "I wasn't thinking, at the time, but...I knew what I had done was wrong as soon as it was over. And, I did think of you and how it was cheating. I'm just...I'm still so confused. I didn't mean to hurt you," she whispered.

A few minutes of silence fell between the two friends, then Willow asked the question that had been nagging her since Buffy's revelation. "How did you find out? Did Angel tell you?"

"I ran into Spike last night. He...he told me. He was so angry."

Willow shuddered and said dully, "He hates me."

"Yeah...that was kinda clear. He was...coming to see you."

Willow's eyes flashed to her friend, full of panic. "I can't...I can't stop him..."

"I think I dissuaded him, for the moment at least. You have to work things out, Will, for your own sake. Okay, maybe you can never regain what you had, but for your sanity, you have to have sex with him. You have to find a way to be at least civilized about it."

"I...I thought I could. After that night, well...it just kept getting worse. I kept feeling worse...and I didn't know how to make it better. Now...Spike's so mad..." She shuddered delicately.

"You need to talk to him. You both have a lot of explaining to do."

"I'd rather not see him ever again," Willow muttered.

"Well, that isn't an option," Buffy snapped.

"I know that," Willow shot back, exasperated. "I know that I have to see him and I have to fuck him or at least let him bite me. I know how very dangerous that is considering that he probably wants me dead."

"Oh, he wants you, Will. I just don't think it's in a dead capacity," Buffy interrupted.

Willow flushed and felt a wave of sadness wash over her. "I doubt he'll make it...pleasant."

Buffy's eyes dropped to the floor as she remembered Spike's anger and frustration of the night before. "I can only protect you so far, Will. Giles, we're all looking for a spell to revoke the invitation, but..."

"I made my bed," Willow said dully. "Does...does rape hurt, Buffy?"

Shifting uncomfortably, Buffy looked away, then down at her scraggly fingernails. "Yeah...but even worse, it hurts inside, in your heart, when you love the guy."

"I know now...I know that I love him," Willow said, sadly.

"I'm so sorry, Will..."

"Yeah, me too."

*****

By that evening Willow was able to walk slowly around her room and go to the bathroom unaccompanied, though actually using the facilities nearly did her in and forced her to collapse on her bed trembling from head to foot for fifteen minutes each time.

Shortly before six, Cordelia returned looking very happy and glowing. Willow wondered just what Xander had done to make the brunette so radiant.

After a dinner of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and fritos, Willow lay on her stomach while Cordelia gently rubbed more of the numbing creme on her back.

"I think this may leave a scar," Cordelia said softly as she examined the lightly scabbed whip mark on Willow's bottom.

"No more thong swimsuits for me," Willow quipped, wincing at each touch of Cordelia's gentle fingers. The creme felt wonderful, though, easing the pain of the bruises and making breathing bearable.

"How are you going to explain this to the future Mr. Right?"

Turning her head and gaping at her friend, Willow replied, "And I'm supposed to find Mr. Right some time between being fucked and bitten by my pissed off vampire lover, fending off Angelus the prick, attending enough classes to actually pass, and going to S&M clubs with my girlfriend, right?"

Cordelia pursed her lips, then sighed. "Okay, it was a stupid question. No Mr. Rights on the Hellmouth."

"Oh, I don't know. You and Xander seem made for each other. And did I just say that?"

Chuckling, the cheerleader nodded. "Amazing that nearly four months ago you were ready to rip my head off."

"It wasn't your head I was planning to tear into," the redhead answered drolly.

Trying not to laugh, Cordelia tugged Willow's t-shirt down and climbed off the bed. "Do you want me to stay tonight?"

Willow rolled onto her side, shaking her head. "It's Saturday night, Cordy. Go have fun with Xander."

"Hon, I already HAD fun with Xander," Cordelia replied with a quick grin before picking up her purse. "Okay. You know my cell phone number, if you need anything. I'll come back in the morning and make you breakfast. I make a mean bowl of cereal."

"Thanks," Willow said sincerely. "For everything, Cordelia."

"You're welcome." Bending down, Cordelia brushed her lips over Willow's, then strolled out of the room. A few moments later, Willow heard a car peel down the street, and grinned. She was feeling much better emotionally, and it no longer was agony to move, so she counted that has feeling better physically as well.

With a sigh, she picked up her history text and moved to page three of the chapter on the twenties. She was making no progress.

*****

Half-heartedly patrolling, glad that things were okay between her and Willow, Buffy wasn't surprised when she came across Angel sitting on a tombstone, grinning like the Cheshire cat. She hadn't seen him for three nights which was unusual. They had fallen into a pattern of his visiting her every other night.

Pocketing her stake, Buffy walked closer to him, watching him c carefully.

"I was hoping I'd run across you, Buff."

"Why?"

Angel smirked and hopped off the tombstone, reaching for her and pulling her against his hard body. "Why to fuck your brains out, lover."

"Why not at my house?"

"Your mom is a real fun dampener, hon. I want to hear you scream," he whispered in her ear before placing a hungry kiss on her neck.

Buffy shoved him away from her and backed up, trembling with the need he always aroused in her. "Maybe I don't want you tonight."

A scowl crossed Angel's face and his eyes narrowed. "Maybe you don't have a fucking choice in the matter, Buffy."

"I know you fucked Willow," Buffy blurted out.

The scowl was replaced by surprise. "The little witch told you?"

Unwilling for some unknown reason to blow Spike's secret, Buffy lied. "Um, yeah."

"She never was very good at keeping secrets. So, let me guess, you're going to be pissy about it." He leaned back against the tombstone, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Why? Why Willow? Why not just fuck Dru?"

Angel shrugged. "Change of pace. I get bored so easily. You didn't want me to fuck you during your period, so I called Willow. To tell you the truth, I never expected her to agree. Must not be getting it from her boytoy."

"You took advantage of her. She's...she's going through a bad time."

"I really don't see the problem here, Buff. I never swore to be faithful."

Buffy winced at the sarcasm in his voice, feeling her heart constrict with pain. "I...knew you'd never stop sleeping with Dru, but...I thought...I thought I meant something to you."

Angel scowled again. "You're a good fuck. You weren't available. Look, Buff, vampires have massive sex drives. You will never be enough to satisfy me...as long as you're human."

Buffy paled and instinctively stepped back. "Then fuck all the vampire bitches you want, but leave my friends alone."

Pushing himself away from the tombstone, Angel strode over to Buffy, forcing her back against a tall statue. Buffy reached for a stake and he caught her wrist, pinning it to the marble. "It doesn't work that way, my little bitch. You don't give the orders," Angel hissed as his body pressed against her.

Buffy tried to give him a brave look, but her heart was pounding in fear and sorrow. "Please...I've given you what you want. You own me, body and soul." She flushed in humiliation and dropped her eyes to the open neck of his velvet shirt. "Please..."

"I make the rules and conditions of this relationship," he ground out as he took her free hand and pressed it to his straining cock. Buffy flushed even more and whimpered as her body responded by growing damp and tingling. "Yes?"

"...Yes," she whispered in a choked voice, as she slid to her knees. He released her hands and she fumbled with the buttons on his pants, biting her lip until she was able to free his erection. Leaning forward, she ran her tongue over the oozing slit, tasting his juices, then slid his cock inside her mouth. As she sucked, taking him to the edge of her throat, silent tears leaked from her closed eyes. Her hands slid around to cup his ass as her mouth moved quickly, up and down, her tongue twirling around his sensitive flesh.

Tangling his hands in her hair, Angel grunted in pleasure and came, sending his emission down her throat. She swallowed quickly, blinking away the tears, as she pulled her mouth free.

"Good girl, " Angel murmured as he reached down and pulled Buffy to her feet. Fastening his pants over his still hard cock, he swung the unresisting slayer into his arms and carried her down the path.

Buffy pressed her face into his chest, the fingers of one hand curled into his shirt, as she shut her mind down and squeezed her eyes shut, driving away humiliation, fear and anger.

*****

Buffy became aware again when her back hit satin sheets. Opening her eyes, she glanced rapidly around the unfamiliar bedroom. Angel stood at the end of the bed, removing his clothes.

"Where are we?"

"My place. You can make as much noise as you want here."

Sitting up, Buffy swallowed hard. "Can I...will you let me go...later?"

Tossing his pants on a chair, Angel strode to the bed, naked, his cock still rock hard. "You're not a prisoner...but I wouldn't try to go anywhere just yet."

Her fingers twisted into the sheet beneath her and her mind filled with images of Willow on this bed, her nude body glistening with perspiration and flushed with lust. Buffy felt her own desire flare to life and she reached down to pull off her boots.

"I hate that I want you, you know that don't you?" she said softly as she slid from the bed to remove her clothes.

Angel lounged across the end of the bed, watching her, his hand idly caressing his erection. "That's quite obvious, lover. You know I don't give a rat's ass."

Dropping her bra on top of her boots, Buffy nodded and reached for the fastening on her pants. "It was here, right? You and Willow?" Naked, she knelt on the bed, her hands in fists on her thighs.

Angel propped himself up on one arm and ran his eyes over her lush nudity. "Right here. She's a good fuck. Someone taught her well." Leaning down, he kissed the back of one of her hands, then ran his lips up her arm, sending shivers through her. "But, she isn't you." Rising to his knees, Angel tugged Buffy against him and captured her lips with his.

Surrendering her control what little she had Buffy slipped her hands around his neck and returned his kiss, opening her mouth for his questing tongue. Angel pulled her closer, lifting her so that she straddled his knees, his chest rubbing against her breasts, making her pant with desire.

Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling his cock pressed against her throbbing cleft. Undulating against him, she smiled as he groaned in pleasure and squeezed her ass. Slowly he lay her backwards, coming over her, his mouth never leaving hers. Buffy began to run her hands up and down his back, tracing patterns with her short fingernails.

When one little finger slid inside his anus, Angel shivered and lifted his head to growl lustily, "Buffy..." Lowering his head again, he captured one pert nipple in his mouth, gently tugging at it with his teeth.

Buffy cried out at the sudden burst of pleasure in her loins and arched against his mouth. Her legs tightened around his waist and she rubbed against his erection, moaning at the friction on her pulsing clit.

A second finger slid into him and Angel hissed and moved to the other breast, sucking and licking until Buffy writhed beneath him, her feet running up and down the backs of his thighs. Tangling her fingers in his hair, she held his head to her breast, panting at the desire whipping through her.

"Please," she finally begged, arching her whole body off the bed and clinging to him.

Angel slid his hands under her bottom and held her up, only her head and shoulders on the bed. With a lusty growl, he impaled her on his cock, driving as deeply as he could.

Buffy howled in pleasure and tightened herself around him, squeezing her vaginal muscles, holding his cock in place. Her body went stiff, every muscle straining as the tension inside her snapped, sending her falling to the bed, shuddering and sobbing.

Angel looked at her in surprise, then groaned as her inner muscles fluttered around his throbbing cock. Propping himself on his hands, he began to thrust into her, his eyes roaming over her flushed, gleaming body, her glazed eyes, her panting lips.

Recovering from her orgasm, Buffy felt the base of his cock brush her clit and moaned as another burst of pleasure hit her. Lifting her limp arms, she grabbed his shoulders and again wrapped her legs around his waist, angling her pelvis so he rubbed her clit on each thrust.

Listening to her whimpers of pleasure, Angel sped up the pace and bent to kiss her. She moaned and kissed him back hungrily, finally breaking away to gasp for breath. Feeling the tension in his balls growing nearly unbearable, Angel buried his mouth between her breasts and slammed into her.

Buffy yelled and exploded into a second climax, her whole body throbbing and shaking. Angel growled her name and drove into her quaking depths, coming hard and seemingly forever in fast slams of his cock.

His body trembling nearly as much as hers, Angel rolled them, keeping his slowly softening cock inside her as he sprawled her limp body across his. Buffy panted into his neck, her body slippery and hot with perspiration.

She felt perfect in his arms...

Closing his eyes in self disgust, Angel wrapped his arms around his lover and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

*****

Willow was dozing face first in her history book when the sound of the lock on the outer door being forced awakened her. Her head flew up and she fumbled for the lamp, turning it on, as her heart began to race.

"Very good," a soft, cruel voice came from the shadowy corner by the French doors. "No holy water, no crosses. Decide they were futile, bitch?"

"Spike," she managed to stammer out, her eyes flying wildly around the room looking for something, anything with which to protect herself. Dragging herself up onto her least damaged hip, she grabbed for the night stand drawer, praying silently that there was a cross inside.

The door closed as she dug through numerous sex toys, finding nothing that would help her.

"No help for the wicked, eh?" he quipped, his amused tone of voice failing to disguise the anger he felt.

Willow shivered and began to edge off the bed, knowing with a sinking feeling that she had no chance of escaping him. Her eyes locked on him as he walked into the light and she swallowed hard.

He was gorgeous. Dressed in black jeans and a black silk shirt, the only color his light blonde hair, his pale face and his ice cold, hazel eyes. All darkness and light, he stalked towards her like a jungle cat, his hips rolling easily, yet every move conveying danger.

Willow slipped off the far side of the bed, tamping down her whimper of pain as her stiff muscles were forced to work. She caught a glimpse of a cross lying on top of her dresser and began to inch her way towards it as he watched her, standing at the end of her bed, arms crossed over his chest.

She was half way to the dresser when his cutting voice stopped her. "Willow, you really don't want to use a cross on me." His unspoken threat made her freeze and her eyes widened as her heart constricted. Sweat broke out on her forehead and her legs began to tremble.

"What do you want, Spike?" she asked, slowly, her fingers twisting into the hem of her t-shirt.

"Why, I want more of your lovely blood, my traitorous bitch," he said lightly. "If I have to take Angelus' leavings to get it, I will.

She flinched, each bitter word striking her like blows. "We don't have to have sex," she whispered, unable to make her voice louder.

"What's the fun, then?" He gestured broadly, his eyes sweeping the room to land on the bed. "We used to have sex all the time. All I had to do was point and you were spreading your legs, reaching for my dick."

Willow felt herself blushing at his crudity and dropped her eyes to the floor as nausea rolled through her. "Can you just do it and go away?" she stammered out softly.

Spike's face hardened. "You asked me something similar that first night, do you remember?"

"I remember everything," she whispered sadly. "I remember how gentle you were, how you eased me through the loss of my virginity, how you kissed away my tears."

"Yeah. Why the fuck did I bother?"

"Because you're a nice guy." Willow blinked back the tears that were forming at her memories of better times.

"I'm not a guy at all," he replied cruelly. "I'm a demon, remember, a blood sucking killer. Not someone you, Miss Perfect, would want to touch your lily white person."

Wincing, Willow decided to change tactics. "Spike... please...let me explain."

"What? Why you fucked my bastard of a sire? Why I saw him with his head between your legs, heard you screaming his name, his real name? Unlike the Slayer, you don't delude yourself about who he really is, do you."

"No, I don't, and I was stupid to go to him when he called."

"You let him fuck you for revenge," he snapped angrily.

"I let him fuck me because I was so low it didn't seem to matter what I did or he did to me. I was lost and confused."

"Poor lost little lamb?" At her slight nod, he came back with a scathing reply. "I don't buy that for a second. You were pissed at me, so you risked your life to fuck Angelus, knowing that even if I didn't walk in on you, he'd tell me he had you again, rubbing my face into the fact that I'm always second best."

Willow shook her head, hugging her trembling body. "No, you're wrong. I didn't do it consciously. Please believe me."

Spike laughed harshly. "Well, the shoes on the other foot now, isn't it? Only last week I was begging you to forgive me for hitting you, for the whole bond that I knew fuck all about."

He took another few steps towards her, rounding the bed, and Willow retreated, wincing as her back touched the wall, but relieved that she had some support to keep herself from crumpling to the floor as weakness assailed her. "I'm sorry," she whispered helplessly."

"Oh, that makes it all better, doesn't it? You're sorry. You're sorry that I have that image of you coming in my sire's mouth to wipe out all the images of us making love."

"How do you think seeing you with Dru made me feel?" she cried back, tired of being on the defensive.

Fury suffused his face and he stepped closer, his hands closing into fists. Willow cringed and pressed herself to the wall, the pain deadened by the fear that washed over her. "There is no comparison except in your immature little mind."

"I know you love her," she replied, her voice dull and soft. "I know there's a difference between her and Angelus, but the sight was still painful. It tore at my heart." She choked on her words and swallowed hard, biting back tears. "You told me you loved me and I thought...I thought it meant so much more than it obviously did."

"You know nothing, Willow," he answered coldly. "You're a child. You don't understand love, because you've never felt it. I did love you. I worshiped the bloody ground you walked on. I would have done anything for you. I DID do anything you asked, even beat the Hell out of you, which made you too much like Dru for me to ever be comfortable. But, I did it because you wanted it, because pain arouses you like nothing else."

"Not like nothing else," she whispered, her eyes huge in her pale face. "Just your touch...it was always the best." Two big tears splashed down on her chest as her chin fell and her eyes began to burn.

His answer was full of snide anger which rammed through her already aching heart. "I doubt it will be again. Get that top off and get on the fucking bed, NOW."

Looking up, Willow saw the icy determination, the fury, the betrayal and the hate in his expression and reached for the hem of the t-shirt as more silent tears fell from her swollen eyes.

*****

Buffy woke slowly from her short nap. Her whole body felt as limp as a noodle and she had to force her eyelids open. As she blinked in the dim light of the room, she realized that she lay on something hard and cold. Memories flooded back and she blushed and squirmed. Her eyes widened as she felt Angel harden inside her twitching vagina, and her breath caught in her throat.

"Keep squirming and we'll be at it again," Angel murmured. His hands began a lazy trail down her back to her bottom. "On the other hand...I think it's too late." His hands cupped her bottom cheeks and his hips thrust up, driving his cock deeper into her hot channel.

Moaning in sudden pleasure, Buffy placed hot kisses on his neck and rubbed her hardening nipples on his chest. Pressed tightly against each other, their pelvises slammed together, making them groan as their lust flared anew.

Taking hold of her shoulders, Angel pushed her up into a sitting position. As her knees tightened along his sides, she felt his knees raising behind her. "Lean back," he murmured huskily, as his hands slid down to grasp her hips.

Buffy leaned back and gasped as his cock rubbed the upper wall of her vagina. Wrapping her arms behind herself, she clutched his shins, using the leverage to rise and fall on his cock. Angel slid one hand into her wet cleft and found her clit, rubbing the hard nubbin until she moaned and thrust down hard.

Gasping for breath, Buffy looked down to see her breasts bouncing and Angel fingering her clit, a look of intense concentration and lust on his face. With a cry of delight, she felt her muscles tense and their eyes locked. Her fingernails dug into his legs and her mouth fell open.

"Come for me, baby," he murmured, pinching her sensitive clit.

Yelling his name, Buffy exploded into orgasm, her body shuddering and clenching around his cock, until he groaned in longing. Lifting her limp, trembling body off him, he lay her next to him and curled up along her back. Raising one of her legs, he slid his cock inside her still twitching channel.

Burying his mouth in the nape of her neck, he began a slow, steady pumping and listened to her sighs of pleasure. After a few minutes, Buffy began to rock with him, her hand clasping his and pulling it between her legs. She hissed, baring her throat for him as together they caressed her tender flesh.

Sucking on her pulse points, Angel increased the pace of the thrusting, his fingers meshed with hers and rubbing her clit, feeling it swell again as desire sparked in her. Buffy squirmed, rubbing her bottom against his groin as he thrust harder, sliding one leg between hers. His free hand tangled in her hair and turned her head so that his mouth could capture hers.

"Again, love, come again," he whispered in her ear before taking a delicate nip of the lobe and sending shudders through her.

"You too," she panted harshly as her body began to build rapidly towards climax. Angel sped up the thrusts, still not pounding into her, but driving deeply, filling her clenching passage. "I want...I want to see you," she begged.

With a low grunt of need, Angel again pulled his cock free. Turning her onto her back, he slid between her thighs. Buffy wrapped her legs around his hips and brought his mouth down to hers as their bodies met, his cock entering her in one hard stroke. Kissing, they clung together, their bodies wrapped around each other as their hips churned together.

Tears of need leaked out of Buffy's eyes and she flung her head back, panting harshly. Their eyes met and Buffy saw how full of need his were. The expression on his face was nearly one of pain and a strange giddy feeling overcame her.

He needed her. Angel needed her, and it was more than just a lust that could be satisfied by any woman. He needed HER.

Sliding her arms around his neck, she drew his mouth down to hers again, kissing him deeply, as her third orgasm hit, sending quakes of pleasure through her. She screamed against his mouth and fell limp, shaking from head to foot.

Closing his eyes, Angel growled and plunged into her, letting her vaginal muscles squeeze his throbbing cock until he exploded, filling her with his cold semen. Collapsing his torso next to her, their lower bodies still joined, he felt her legs slide from around his waist as she sprawled beneath him, panting. Glancing over at her, he was slightly surprised to see a look of happiness on her face and a broad smile.

*****

Wincing as her muscles drew tightly across her back, Willow pulled the t-shirt over her head. Her arms immediately covered her breasts and she flinched at his snort, reddening dully as he insolently ran his eyes over her trembling body.

"So, did you let Angelus bite you? Not that he could make you come. Only I can do that."

"N-no."

"Did he fuck your tight ass?" She stared at him, frozen in fear at this angry playful side of him. "Come on, Willow, tell me what I missed before I walked in on him eating you out."

"Why do you want to know?" she whispered, her heart pounding in her chest like it was going to explode.

"I just want to know what it is about him that does it for you, Will. Is it the brooding looks, the dark hair and eyes, the tight ass, the large boner? What did he do to you to make you scream his name in ecstasy?" As he spoke the hateful questions, he moved closer to her until he was only a few feet away.

"It was just sex. How many times have you used that as an excuse," she said bravely.

"Oh good, throw the pissed off vampire's words back at him. You really don't have the senses God gave a turnip, do you."

She pressed backwards, wincing as the minute bumps in the paint on the wall felt like they were tearing holes in her tender skin. "I'm sorry, Spike. I'm sorry I went to him, sorry I enjoyed it, sorry for a lot of things." Taking a deep breath, she drew herself together and looked up at him with suddenly calm eyes. "So, what do I have to do to make it better?"

His eyes narrowed, his lips curled in snarl and he pointed to the bed. "On the bed, on your back, legs spread, my little whore."

On her back. There was no way she could stand that. Swallowing hard, Willow forced herself to move closer to him, so that only a few inches separated their bodies. Focusing her eyes on the tick in his cheek, she slid her hand down his chest to his groin. His hard cock bucked against her hand through the denim.

Spike growled deep in his throat as her touch drove him crazy like it always did. As he saw her slowly sliding to her knees, his eyes fell shut and his hands tangled in her hair, pressing her face to his stomach.

Her numb fingers fumbled with the fastening of his jeans, as she prayed silently that he would let her do this. Maybe if she pleasured him, he'd go away. She didn't really believe that he was here for her blood. He wanted to punish her through sex. As his cock sprang into her hand, she whimpered as a surprising need dawned between her legs.

Spike growled again. This wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want her doing anything willingly. He wanted her cowering. He wanted her scared. He wanted to hold her down and pin her beneath him as he speared her resisting body. He wanted her crying as he fucked her, pounding into her until she screamed HIS name in ecstasy.

For the first time in his two hundred year existence he wanted to rape a woman, to force an unwilling woman to have sex with him, to make her cry and beg, to let her find what pleasure she could on her own, to be a selfish bastard like his sire.

Grabbing Willow's shoulder, he jerked her to her feet and flung her on the bed. Stunned, she landed hard on her stomach, the air driven from her lungs as one arm was caught beneath her.

Turning eagerly, his hands itching to touch her trembling flesh, Spike looked at her and froze.

The marks of a cane covered her back, reddish-purple, and recent. Her bottom was nearly black in places, every inch bruised by a paddle or a heavy hand. A few cane marks stood out red amongst the large bruises. But the worst...the worst...there was a whip mark, wide and angry looking, it had cut the skin and was newly scabbed over. She had bled.

All desire, all anger, all hatred fled from Spike. Numbly, he refastened his jeans, his eyes fixed on the mark of the whip. A mark her tender young skin would bear for the rest of her life.

Slowly, gasping for breath, Willow rolled onto her side, staring blindly across the room. Her head felt too heavy and she lay it on one arm, her hair hiding her ashen face. "I can't bear it on my back, Spike," she pled softly, her voice full of unshed tears. "Please, we can do it some other way, on my stomach or me on top. I won't try to stop you or try to get away," she finished, dull acceptance ringing in her soft voice.

"Willow," he whispered, shocked to the core, his demon driven into full retreat by the sight of marks meant to punish not arouse. What the Hell had happened to her?

*****

Drusilla followed the scent of human into the mansion. It wasn't scared human food; it wasn't Spike's little redhead. It was...power and anger and love. It was vanilla and sweat and a hint of blood...and lust, so much lust. Narrowing her eyes, she walked silently up the stairs. The mansion was quiet, the fledglings and minions all out feeding or fucking or getting staked. Spike had been gone when she had risen from her sleep, and Angel had told her to go hunting.

She didn't like hunting by herself, but she had done it, quickly finding a late night jogger. After eating, she had strolled through the park, growing bored without either of the males in her life paying her any attention.

So, she had gone home, and found something that shouldn't be there.

Slowly Drusilla crept to the door to Angel's suite and opened it. Stepping inside the darkened sitting room, she heard the sounds of harsh breathing. A human was in daddy's bedroom. A human smelling of vanilla, sweat and sex.

Sometimes her Angel played with his food before eating. Maybe he'd share and they could make love in the blood.

Walking closer to the partially opened bedroom door, Drusilla heard Angel's quiet voice.

"Liked that, did you?"

The answer was inarticulate, a cross between a groan and a purr of pleasure. Definitely female.

Angel chuckled. "Yeah, I was pretty fantastic."

The sound of flesh smacking against flesh reached Drusilla and her eyes widened. Had the food dared to hit daddy? Silently she waited for him to strike, to rend, to kill.

All he did was laugh again.

Brows furrowing, Drusilla crept closer. She had to find out what was going on. Who was her Angel with? Reaching the door, she peeked through the inch wide crack and saw Angel, naked, stretched out on the bed on his side, facing away from her. A slender, feminine hand rested on his hip, caressing gently. Drusilla heard the sound of lips touching, tongues clashing in wet mouths, teeth scraping. Her hand gripped the door jamb and she stared at the tattoo on Angel's shoulder, watching his muscles ripple.

"Angel," the woman sighed in a familiar voice. Concerned, Drusilla fought to place the voice with a face.

Suddenly, Angel rolled onto his back, bringing the woman with him, and Drusilla saw her face for a split second before her tangled blonde hair covered her features as she bent to kiss Angel.

The Slayer.

Daddy was making love to the Slayer.

Frozen in shock, Drusilla watched them kiss, watched her Angel's hands caress, not rend, not tear, not destroy. Slowly, she backed up, her mind shutting down, unable to process what she had seen. All she knew was that she had to get out before Angel caught her. Had to get out of the mansion so she could scream and scream.

She had lost him. She had lost them both. She was all alone.

And Drusilla would die being all alone.

*****

Angel rolled onto his side and looked down at the satiated Slayer. A smile tugged at his lips and a rush of pleasure filled him. "Liked that, did you?"

"Ummhmmm."

Angel chuckled. "Yeah, I was pretty fantastic."

The back of her hand thwapped against his chest and her nose wrinkled, but she couldn't stop smiling.

Angel laughed again and her hand slid down to his hip, caressing gently. Lowering his head, he touched her lips tenderly. As her lips parted, he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into her wet mouth, tasting her sweetness.

"Angel," Buffy sighed against his mouth. He rolled onto his back, bringing her over him, and she lowered her mouth back to his as one of her legs slid between his. She felt his cock stir against her thigh and moaned softly, her mind enmeshed in the wonder of this night.

Making love with Angel.

Buffy's heart skipped a beat and a chill ran through her. She pushed herself off him and rose to her knees, taking deep, shuddering breaths as her face paled.

"What is it?" he asked, concerned, raising himself on one elbow.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" she demanded. "I know, I was pathetic, but why didn't you just take me and chain me to a wall or something?"

One eyebrow arched and a mischievous grin crossed his face. "Do you want to be chained to a wall?

Buffy made a frustrated sound and clenched her hands into fists. "I was helpless and hopeless. You could have done anything you wanted to me and I couldn't have stopped you. I can't believe that you really want me fighting you."

"I want you fighting me to a point, Buffy," he clarified, sitting up and leaning back against the headboard. "I like your snippy comments, your witty comebacks. I like you telling me to go to Hell. And I like your passion. I need your passion. Sure, I got off on the power I had when you were totally submissive. I'm too much a dom not to, but I have one totally submissive female in my life. I don't want another."

"So...I make your life more interesting when I'm calling you names?"

"The pathetic little scrap of nothing that slid to her knees in the cemetery earlier and gave me a blow job isn't what I want. Sure, I enjoyed it. I do love you on your knees, my cock down your throat. But, if you had hit me, I'd have loved that more. I'd have hit you back and we could have had a nice little brawl, then fucked like wild animals."

She shook her head slightly and wrapped her arms around her waist. "But...we didn't fuck like animals. You were...tender."

He scowled slightly at her choice of words. "I can be tender when I want. I wouldn't question it too much, lover. I can get off just as well however I take you."

"And your pleasure is all that really matters, isn't it."

Smiling at her snippy comment, he reached out one hand and stroked her nipple, watching it harden. "Oh, I like it when you come, too, Buff. I like watching your face all scrunch up, feel your cunt squeeze my dick. I love hearing you scream my name."

"I don't get you at all," she cried, frustrated. "Two weeks ago, you were using me as a sexual punching bag. Why have you stopped?"

"Do you really want me to kill you?" he asked seriously. She shook her head, her eyes confused and slightly frightened. "That's why I stopped. I realized what I was doing to you, to a woman I didn't want to die or be mindless or a slave. I like your spirit too much. That doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy you licking my feet and offering yourself whenever I snapped my fingers."

"I hate you," she whispered.

"Good. Where would be the fun if you actually fell in love with me?"

Sliding from the bed, Buffy reached blindly for her clothes, jerking them on. She heard Angel rise behind her and tried to ignore him as he moved around the room. As he walked towards her, she stiffened, then jumped as she felt a gentle stroke of bristles over her tangled hair.

"Relax," he murmured, drawing the soft brush through her curls. Buffy stood still, her eyes closed, a part of her wanting to sink against him, but she forced herself to stay upright and calm.

Angel set the brush down on the dresser, then leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her exposed throat. "You have to go."

She nodded, not looking at him as he turned her in his loose embrace. Two fingers slid beneath her chin and raised her head. "I'll never be him, Buffy," he murmured. "But, I don't have to hurt you."

"Being with you hurts me," she whispered in a choked voice. "But I can't stay away from you any more than you can stay away from me. We're trapped."

"On the contrary, baby, we set each other free." With a brush of his lips across her forehead, he turned her and gave her a gentle push towards the door. "Try to avoid my minions on your way out."

Straightening her back, Buffy walked out the door.

*****

"Willow," he whispered again. "What in Hell's name did you do to yourself?"

Brushing the hair from her wet cheeks, Willow glanced up at Spike and saw the horror in his expression, his wide eyes. Defensively, she moved so he couldn't see the bruises on her back. "It's my body. I can do anything I want to it."

"Like fuck you can," he yelled, grabbing her arm and yanking her off the bed. Willow stumbled and whimpered as her head swam. He scowled even further at the sight of her marked breasts. "Who hurt you this badly?" he demanded, taking a hold of her other shoulder as well and shaking her. "Why would you let anyone do this much damage?"

"Let me go," she said succinctly.

Ignoring her, he continued, ranting, "This wasn't for sex, for pleasure, not this many blows. You let someone abuse you. Who? Was it Cordelia? I find it difficult to believe she could do this much damage, even though your skin does bruise easily."

"It wasn't Cordy. Let me go."

Spike snarled, anger again flooding him. "Who touched you, Willow?" he asked in a deadly voice. "What man put his hands on what belongs to me?"

"I don't belong to you and it's none of your business." She struggled harder, only to find herself pinned against his hard body, his eyes boring into hers.

"WHO? Give me the bastard's name so I can go eviscerate him."

Willow began to panic, beating at his chest, unprepared for this jealous fury. "Spike, let me go. You're hurting me."

Her plaintive cry finally reached him and he loosened his grip, letting her pull free. She stumbled backwards, then slumped to her knees next to the bed, burying her face in the comforter.

Slowly coming back to himself, Spike sank down into a crouch next to her, unable to bear looking at her abraded back. "Willow...why?" he asked softly.

"I...I needed to be punished," she choked out.

"What?"

"Punished...I needed it," she said slowly. "I couldn't stop feeling the guilt of my betrayal, the pain of the bond, the anger towards you. It was burying me. I needed...to feel something else. I thought...this would help."

Spike raised a shaking hand to her shoulder and she flinched, making him withdraw it quickly, his own guilt suddenly stabbing through him. "I did this to you," he said thickly. "I made you enjoy being beaten. I turned an innocent girl into a masochist." He sank to his knees, his eyes fixated on a particularly angry looking slash across her shoulders.

"You had nothing to do with creating it. You just set it free," she answered dully, then fell silent for a few minutes. Slowly, she turned her head, pillowing it on her arms. "I felt nothing when he beat me. I wasn't aroused at all. It was punishment, not pleasure. I'm glad. I didn't want to feel good."

"Oh Willow," Spike sighed sadly. "What have we done to each other?"

Slowly turning her head, Willow looked at him. His expression was troubled, his eyes sad. Tears sprang up in her eyes and she took a shuddering breath. "You hurt me and I hurt you. I'm not sure we can ever make it right."

"...I'm not sure we should try," he said softly. "I've destroyed enough of your life." Snorting in self-disgust, he rose to his feet and reached down to lift her up. Picking up her t-shirt, he carefully put it back on her, flinching each time she winced as he moved her muscles in ways they didn't want to go.

The gentleness of his touch nearly shattered her and she began to tremble. "Are you still angry with me?"

Spike nodded, troubled that the answer was affirmative. "I can't forgive you...not yet. And this..." He gestured to her back. "This bothers me so much, Willow. That you let someone hurt you so badly to try to punish yourself."

That hurt her and made her suddenly, amazingly angry. Standing up straighter, she took a step back from him and blinked away the tears. "Tell me something Spike, if I wasn't damaged, what would you be doing to me right now?"

His eyes slid away from her perceptive ones.

"Uh huh. Earlier today, I asked Buffy if rape hurt. I mean, I'm sure it does; I'm not an idiot. But, she knew what I really meant. What does it feel like to have a man you loved force himself you on, pin you down, take what you're unwilling to give, to violate you in such an intimate way. I think, I'd know for sure what it felt like, if the sight of my back hadn't stopped you. I was certainly willing to do anything to appease you."

"You don't seem to be trying to appease me now." He sounded rather disgruntled by that fact and Willow's eyes narrowed.

"You aren't ordering me to spread my legs for you," she snapped back.

"Oh, now YOU'RE angry?"

"You came here to hurt me, knowing I couldn't stop you. I thought you were a better person than that."

"I'm not a person at all," he yelled, suddenly angry again. "I'm a fucking demon."

"A demon you've been able to repress for months."

"And I'm beginning to wonder why the Hell I did that. What the fuck was I thinking getting involved with a seventeen year old human girl? Now I'm bound to you for the rest of your life."

The tears came again and pain shot through Willow. Biting her lower lip, she raised her eyes to look at his angry face. Swallowing hard, she bitterly answered him. "There's a pretty easy way out of that, Spike. All you have to do is kill me."

His hands were on her shoulders a split second after the last word echoed from her mouth. Furious and terrified, he shook her hard, making her head nearly rattle. "Don't you ever say that again. Don't you even think it!"

Tears streamed down Willow's face as her heart beat a rapid tattoo in her heaving breast. She slumped forward, burying her face in his chest, suddenly exhausted. "I'm so tired," she whispered. "I just want all the pain to end."

The terror she had evoked in him slowly began to subside and he found himself stroking her head, trying not to touch her back, not wanting to hurt her any further. "Death isn't the answer."

"Then what is? How do we get past what we both did? Do we even want to do that?"

Snorting again, Spike pulled free of her embrace and backed up several steps, leaving her staring at him in surprise. "You still can't forgive me for Dru, can you."

"N-no."

He grimaced in anger and disgust and ran his fingers through his hair. "And I'm not about to forgive you for Angelus. So, we're at another fucking stalemate. I'm getting really tired of them."

"I think you should leave," Willow said calmly and quietly.

"What about the bond?"

"You didn't really come here for my blood."

He scowled at her and shook his head.

"Then I see no reason for us to see each other for another eighteen days. We'll meet at the motel as we planned."

Spike walked to the French doors, angry again, but fighting to control it. His emotions were swinging wildly from fury to sorrow and he didn't like the lack of control. At the doors, he turned back to look at her. She stood in the middle of the room, in obvious physical pain, looking so very forlorn.

"When we meet at the motel...it's not going to be pleasant, Willow."

"I survived our last 'meeting'," she replied in a near whisper. "I won't fight you, Spike. I don't want to go insane. But, there's no reason to hurt me either."

"Every time I feel anger towards you, every time I hate you, the demon slips free just a little bit more. I can't guarantee that the person who meets you in that motel room will be anything like the man who loved you."

"Then I'll survive...or I won't. But your demon better know this, Spike. If it...kills me," she said, swallowing hard though forcing herself to stay strong. "If YOU kill me, Buffy will kill you."

"I won't kill you, Willow. I could never kill you, no matter how furious I am, no matter how much in control my demon is. Just don't expect to come away unscathed."

"You really hate me, don't you?" There was a tremor of pain in her young voice.

"Yes." And he strode through the broken door.

*****

His mind roiling with fury, disgust and a whole bunch of other emotions he wasn't sure were directed at Willow, himself or the world in general, Spike rode his motorcycle like a bat out of Hell towards the Bronze. It was Saturday night; there was no other half-way decent teenage club in town. His quarry was either there or at the make-out point.

Parking in the alley behind the club, he stormed inside, throwing the cover charge to the bouncer. His keen eyes moved quickly over the crowd of teenagers until he spotted her, dancing with her bumpkin of a boyfriend. Moving stealthily through the gyrating teens, he approached her, coming up behind the boy.

Cordelia glanced up from staring lustfully at the way Xander's hips were shaking and saw Spike. A very angry Spike. Stumbling, her mouth falling open, Cordelia stopped dancing. Spike's hand snaked around Xander and grabbed her, jerking her sideways.

"Hey," Xander exclaimed, turning to confront whomever was grabbing his girlfriend. He went white at the sight of her caught against Spike's chest, his hands tightly holding her upper arms. "Oh shit."

Ignoring Xander, Spike glared at the trembling girl. "We're going to talk, now."

Frantically, Cordelia twisted her head in time to see Xander balling his hands into fists. "Xander, no. I'll be fine." Her hands went up to Spike's to try to pry herself free. "You don't need to hold me so tightly. I'll come with you," she said caustically.

"She said you didn't do it, but did you? Did you do that to her?" Spike yelled through clenched teeth, shaking her slightly.

"Please, I'll tell you, just not here."

"Let her go," Xander demanded, reaching for Spike's arm. Spike growled, but Xander took a deep breath and grabbed him.

"Boy, do you have a death wish?" Spike said with a snarl.

Xander took another deep breath. "I don't know what you want with Cordy, but you're not going to get it. Now, let her go before I use the Holy Water in my pocket."

That slightly amused Spike and he lessened his grip on Cordelia's arms. "You actually allowed him to keep his balls, luv?"

Cordelia blushed and whispered, "Please."

Releasing one arm, Spike brushed Xander aside with ease and tugged her behind him off the dance floor, to a secluded table at the back. Throwing her into the booth, he took a seat across from her silently daring her to try to get away. Xander flung himself down beside her, reaching for her hand.

"Xander, please...I'll be okay," she said softly, pleading. "He...wants to talk about Willow."

"Fine. I've known her longer than the two of you together. So, let's talk about Willow," Xander answered coldly.

Spike had to smirk at the look of panic on the fashion queen's face. "Your little boy doesn't know your proclivities?" he guessed and accurately from the frantic shake of her head. "I saw Willow tonight."

"Did you hurt her?" Cordelia demanded, suddenly less panicked for herself.

"Oh...I might have...until I saw her back. Did you do that, Cordelia?"

"No...I couldn't..."

Xander gave them both confused looks. "What are you talking about?"

Cordelia gave him a pleading look, her fingers caressing his. "Xander, please go get me a non fat latte."

"Not on your life."

"Xander, please..."

"I'm not leaving you alone with a psycho demon."

"I think you have me confused with Angelus, boy," Spike quipped, grinning slightly at the look Cordelia shot him. "Five seconds, Cordelia. Who beat her?"

"Beat who?"

Cordelia swallowed hard and dropped her eyes, then looked up at Xander, fear and confusion shining in her eyes. "I love you, Xander."

"Cordy, what's going on? What's he talking about? And why didn't you scream bloody murder when he grabbed you? I don't care if he is bound obscenely to Willow, you don't need to talk to him about anything." Xander started to pull her from the seat and Spike growled low in his throat. "You gonna kill me right here, because that's the only way you're going to stop us from leaving."

Giving the boy a calculating look, then glancing at the fear on Cordelia's face, Spike sat back and smirked. He was pissed off and he'd take it out on whomever he could. "You want to know why she didn't scream bloody murder? Because five weeks ago..."

Cordelia interrupted, terrified of what he was about to reveal. "It was at a club. Willow and I are members. She...let someone...a guy. He only did what she wanted."

"Dashwoods?" Spike asked, knowingly. She nodded and anger swept across his face. "You and Willow are members of Dashwoods? Do you have any idea the people, the beings who belong to that club? You think vampires are bad. Let me guess, the little bitch auctioned herself off." Another nod and an audible gulp from the girl. "The elderly gentleman with the cat who runs the auctions? He's a demon and a nasty piece of work."

"Oh God..."

"Give me a name, Cordelia," he said in a silky, threatening voice.

"He was human. I'm pretty sure he was human. And he only did what she wanted." She was begging again, not sure why she was protecting the man.

"The bruises will heal. He used a whip on my woman, leaving a scar that will never totally fade. He'll die for that," Spike replied, his voice soft and deadly.

Cordelia swallowed hard and her gaze slid away from the angry gleam of Spike's eyes to the confusion on Xander's face.

"What did Willow do?" Xander asked softly. "She was...whipped?"

"Oh God, Xander," Cordelia said dully.

"That's why you wouldn't let me see her this morning?" His voice began to rise. "Because she's been beaten? Willow? She's...so innocent..."

Spike snorted and Cordelia dropped her eyes. "We're none of us innocent, Xander. We lost that when we discovered the monsters were real."

All emotion left Xander's face and his voice sounded numb. "Why would she let herself be beaten?"

"To punish herself."

"For what?"

Cordelia gave him a helpless look.

"For fucking my prick of a sire," Spike proclaimed, feeling a strange hateful joy sweep him.

The boy paled even more, his eyes flicking from Spike to Cordelia, who was staring at the table top. "Wh-what?"

"You heard me, boy. I rolled in on them. He had his head between her legs, eating her pussy and she was screaming his name as she came."

Now the boy flushed hotly, his mind filling with images he never wanted to see or think about.

"She was confused, scared," Cordelia defended Willow. "You, the bond, everything was just so awful, she didn't really think about what she was doing."

Spike turned a cold eye on her. "I've heard all her pathetic excuses. None of them are worth shit. She betrayed me in the worst possible way."

"I don't believe this," Xander muttered, in total shock.

"Hell, I wasn't even sure you knew she was doing me," Spike mocked. "You've been kept in the dark, boy."

"I have a name," he replied, hotly.

"Your girlfriend ever tell you that she's a muff diver?"

"Huh?"

"That she eats pussy?" A wide grin crossed Spike's face.

Cordelia whimpered, clenching her hands together on top of the table, unable to look at Xander who was gasping and trembling beside her. "Why are you doing this?" she asked Spike in a quiet, hurt voice.

"Because if I have to be miserable, I don't see why anyone should be happy." He rose to his feet. "If you ever let Willow auction herself again for ANYTHING, we'll see how well you take a bullwhip, luv." Turning, he disappeared into the crowd.

Cordelia burst into tears and buried her face in her hands.

All emotion fled from Xander's face and he stared at her, in total confusion and with a tiny, growing glimmer of pain.

*****

Feeling much better, Spike hopped on his bike and headed home. He'd stop for a quick feed in the park, then go home to his true love, Drusilla. A night in her arms should make him feel better. He had been a fool to ever think about leaving her for a mortal. His dark princess was all he needed.

Thirty minutes later, he wasn't prepared for what he found in the sunken garden of the mansion. As he watched the Slayer creep towards where he had hidden his wheelchair, he felt his bitterness and anger towards Willow returning, the demonic joy at making Cordelia and her whelp squirm fading. He couldn't keep the image of Willow's abused back out of his mind for very long.

And now he had images of her at Dashwoods, tied to a post, naked, some suave Euro-trash type wielding a heavy cane.

*****

Carefully making her way out of the mansion, Buffy slipped out a set of French doors and found herself in a sunken garden, heavily overgrown with night-blooming flowers and vines. Across the patio she saw a set of stairs winding up the hill behind the house, and walked silently towards them.

A hand shot out from behind a tree and dragged her into the darkness. Buffy squirmed and opened her mouth to yell, then shut it, not wanting to bring every vampire in the building running. She was spun around and wasn't totally surprised to find that her captor was Spike.

"Yes?" she asked sarcastically, shaking off his grip.

"Have you seen Willow?"

Startled by the question, Buffy took a step backwards and ran into the tree.

"Have you seen what she allowed some stranger to do to her?" he continued, clearly agitated.

"She never told...stranger?" Buffy felt a strange feeling of panic sweep her. What the Hell was Willow doing?

"At an S&M club," Spike explained bitterly. "She sold herself to be whipped."

Buffy paled as the possible consequences flashed through her mind. "Has she lost her freaking mind?" Her eyes snapped to Spike's cold expression and she frowned. "This is all your fault!"

"What?"

"You taught her to like pain."

"She didn't get whipped for pleasure, Slayer. She wanted to be punished and she could have gotten herself killed."

Confused, Buffy shook her head. "Punished?" Awareness hit her and she paled. "For sleeping with Angel?"

"That was a large part of it. Apparently our lovely bond played a role as well."

"Oh God, no, Willow...I've got to go see her. Try to make her understand that she didn't need to do that." Clearly agitated, Buffy pushed herself away from the tree and tried to brush past Spike. He caught her upper arms.

"Let her suffer. She fucked your true love, remember?"

Snarling at Spike, Buffy wrenched away from him. "She's still my best friend, and she's the best thing that ever happened to you, you idiot."

Spike scowled at her and reached in his shirt pocket for his cigarettes. He lit one as his eyes narrowed. "Do you know how much I hate Angelus?" Not waiting for an answer, he continued, "Probably as much as you love Angel. Willow gave herself willingly to him. She fucked him, knowing full well what she was doing."

"That's questionable. She's been very confused for the last couple of weeks."

"I can't believe you're making feeble excuses for the tart!"

"Why aren't you so pissed that Angel's fucking Dru all the time?" Buffy blustered.

"Because Dru has no control over herself. She's insane and tied irrevocably to Angelus. I've known that for 140 years. She can't be held responsible for letting him do anything he wants to her. And, if you really knew anything about vampires, you'd know she has no choice."

"What are you talking about?"

Spike snorted and took a drag on his cigarette. "A vampire has to obey his or her sire. Oh, there are exceptions. I decided that once my sire gained a soul, I didn't need to do anything the wanker said, but for the most part, a sire's word is law, his or her desires paramount. Those who don't obey are declared rogue and usually eliminated pretty quickly. The sire/childe relationship transcends time. It is eternal...until the sire or childe dies. It doesn't matter that I was a master vampire, running my own clan for one hundred years. Even if I hadn't been incapacitated, I would have been forced to cede leadership here to Angelus."

"That...must be very hard for you."

Spike's jaw clenched. "Angelus has always been a hands on kind of sire. A lot of sires make their vampires and send them off into the world without a care. Not mine. He gets off on the fact that I have the strength and charisma to lead, but as long as he's around, I can't."

"So, Drusilla's just obeying the rules by sleeping with Angel?"

Spike nodded tightly.

"And...what about you?" Buffy asked hesitantly.

Eyes narrowing, Spike took another drag on his cigarette, inhaling deeply, before saying softly, "You don't want to go there, Buffy."

Buffy swallowed, her eyes meeting Spike's and seeing a truth that she had been avoiding for months. "You sleep with him, too."

Spike shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "He's had me suck him off a few times. He likes an active participant in bed and until recently he thought my parts didn't work. Now, thanks to Dru, he knows that they do. It's only a matter of time."

Shaking her head slowly, Buffy wrapped her arms around her waist. "He...we just...and he does that with men, too?"

Startled by how young she suddenly seemed, Spike fought the urge to pull her into his arms and comfort her. "Most vamps are bi. It's just sex." Buffy's eyes widened even farther and Spike sighed. "I tried to explain this to Willow. Vampires like sex. We'll do it with just about anything."

"Does Angel...let men..." She couldn't finish the question, but Spike caught the gist of it and shook his head.

"Oh no. Angelus is a fucker not a fuckee. Partly that's due to his being the master here--it's a dominance thing--but he also doesn't like to be fucked in the ass." Spike smirked and lit another cigarette.

A ghost of a smile crept across Buffy's face. "I know."

As he realized how she knew, Spike grinned, then laughed. "You used the strap-on on him. Oh, I would have loved to see that!"

"Actually, I threatened to tell you. He was kind of tied up at the time." She chuckled, then bit her lower lip, shaking her head. "I can't believe I can laugh about this mess."

"Better than going nuts," he answered, laughing at the image of tiny Buffy fucking his monster of a sire.

Finally they both sobered up and Buffy took a deep breath. "I need to go talk to Willow. Obviously I missed a lot of things in our talk this afternoon."

"She's...in a lot of pain," Spike admitted, slowly.

"Did you see her? I guess you did." A sad look crossed her face, as she quietly asked him, "Did you hurt her?"

Spike shook his head, not angered by her question she was obviously concerned about her friend's physical and mental state. "I went there to...fuck I don't know. I'm still so very angry. I don't know if I wanted to fuck her or just yell at her or both. I know...I know I can't hit her. If I hit her...I could easily kill her."

"I know. It's why I stopped you last night. I'm...glad you understand that now."

Nodding, Spike continued, "When I saw her condition, I was flabbergasted. We yelled a lot." He shrugged again and ground his cigarette out on his boot heel. "Resolved nothing, as usual."

"That can't last. You've both hurt each other. It's time to find a way to heal."

"I can't forgive her," he said coldly.

Buffy sighed.

*****

Cordelia carefully wiped her eyes, a tiny part of her registering the fact that her non-smear mascara actually worked. Swallowing the last of her tears, she forced her breathing under control and peeked up at her boyfriend. Xander had been silent for nearly ten minutes as she had softly cried.

His face was a calm mask as he stared blindly across the club. He sat still as a stone, except for the slow clenching and unclenching of his fingers.

"Xander," she whispered. "Please let me explain."

He didn't answer for a minute and Cordelia wasn't sure he'd heard her, when he replied in a low, even voice. "I want to see Willow."

"Oh...sure...I'll drive you."

Xander rose and Cordelia followed him out of the club and down the alley to her car. They drove in silence to Willow's. Every few moments, Cordelia would glance over at him and see that calmness on his face, that lack of expression. By the time they reached the Rosenburg residence, her nerves were shot. She desperately wanted him to yell at her.

Taking out the key Willow had lent her, Cordelia let them into the dark house.

"Willow? It's me," she called, then quickly followed Xander down the hall. He opened the door and stepped inside, not allowing his girlfriend to stop him this time.

Startled, Willow looked up from where she lay on her stomach, watching tears smear her attempt at math homework. She'd managed to write out the first problem before the crying had begun again.

Reddening at the sight of Xander, she shoved herself up on her arms, hoping the t-shirt covered all the bruises. Before she could say anything or really wonder what he was doing there and why Cordelia had let him in, Xander was rounding the bed and grabbing the edge of her t-shirt, yanking it up.

Her cry of embarrassment mingled with his moan of empathetic pain. Cordelia grabbed his wrist, quickly recovering Willow's bottom, as Willow turned bright red.

"I...didn't want to believe it," Xander stammered, shocked and horrified as he collapsed on the desk chair.

"Cordy," Willow cried. "Why did you let him in here? Why did you TELL him?"

"I didn't," Cordelia defended herself. "Spike did."

Willow groaned and buried her hot face in her trembling hands.

Looking from one best friend to the other, one red faced, one white, Cordelia took a step backwards. "I think you two need to talk."

Xander's hand snaked out and captured her wrist, holding her still. "Why leave, Cordy? Apparently you're as involved with her as you are with me."

Willow's eyes flashed open and she stared in horror at Xander. "Wh-what?"

"I know first hand what a dom Cordy is. From what Spike said, I'm guessing you do, too. That, and other things."

"What other things?" panicking, Willow asked Cordelia.

The cheerleader just whimpered and sank down on the floor next to her boyfriend who continued to hold her wrist in a light grip.

Xander glanced up at the ceiling, smiling wryly at the poster of a unicorn tacked above the bed. "I don't think that applies anymore. Do you remember when I gave that to you?" he asked softly.

"My eleventh birthday."

"I had just learned what a virgin was and I teased you about it until you informed me, quite haughtily, that I was one, too. And we made a pact to tell each other first when we lost it. Not that we really had a clue how that would happen." He sighed softly and looked back at Willow. "We both broke the pact."

"You...you knew about me and Spike...Okay, it was a couple months later...Xander...please, let me explain about Cordy."

"Do you know why I let Cordy beat me?" Xander asked, not expecting an answer. "There's so much anger bottled inside me. I held off from making love with her for so long because I was afraid I'd hurt her, like I hear my dad hurting my mom late at night. When Cordy hit me the first time, I realized there was something that could drain that anger from me."

"I know. She told me."

Xander gave her a mirthless smile. "Yeah, apparently you two share everything. My best friend and my girlfriend and I'm blind to both of you."

Willow felt a chill sweep over her as realization dawned. "What did Spike tell you?"

"About what? That you auctioned yourself off at some demon club to be whipped as punishment for fucking Angelus. Or maybe that you and Cordy are more than just friends, though Spike did only hint that it was you Cordy was eating out."

Willow went white in shock. "Oh God..."

Another whimper came from Cordelia, as the brunette tried to curl into a ball, her wrist still caught by Xander's hand.

"So, Will, why do you let her beat you? 'Coz, I know you don't have the anger inside you that I do."

She just stared at him, watching his face betray no emotions.

"Do you get off on it?"

Her teeth caught her chafed lower lip and her eyes glistened with fresh tears.

"Well?"

"What do you want me to say, Xander?" Willow finally asked softly. "That I'm a masochist? That I get turned on by pain? That I love a good, hard spanking? That it makes me come faster, if not better, when I'm being fucked right after I've had my ass reddened?" Her voice rose shrilly as the words spilled from her lips and she rose to her knees. "I like to do something I think of as naughty or disobedient, just so I can get the paddle, just so I can feel the sting of pain that makes me so wet."

"Stop it," he said, his voice strangled, unprepared for the truth, but she continued.

"I love a belt, too, but the best, the best is Cordy's switch. I love it when she hits me across the tits and then makes me go down on her, making her come two or three times before she lets me finger fuck myself."

"STOP IT."

Willow closed her mouth and wrapped her arms around her trembling body. "I'm sorry that we did this behind your back, Xander. I never meant to hurt you. But, I can't and won't be sorry for what I am. I grew up. Maybe it wasn't the way we imagined in our wildest dreams. But, I can't change what I've become."

Xander stared at her, tears glinting in his eyes. "This can't be normal. S&M amongst teenagers? It sounds like something on Jerry Springer!"

"I've questioned that too...recently,"Cordelia said softly. "I don't know if it's normal or if were deviants...But I know I can't stop. I don't want to stop. I...can stop it with Willow, if you want me to, but I'll never stop being a dom. It's a part of me. A part I like."

Swallowing hard as he looked down at his girlfriend, Xander just shook his head, confused, then looked over at Willow and the defiance and sorrow on her face. "Do you let HIM hit you, too? Was the slap across your face a love tap?"

Willow's eyes fell and she took a deep breath, wincing at the strain on her back. "Spike was the first to spank me. Drusilla caught me out walking at night and gave me to him again. He was angry, but more, I think he was terrified. He's never said, but I think he fell in love with me that night when he realized he might have lost me. So, he punished me...and it turned me on."

"God Willow, please no more details," Xander begged, unable to stomach the image of her and Spike doing the things he and Cordy did.

"Strangely enough, Spike doesn't like to hit me. He was truly horrified when he saw my back tonight."

"He's a demon. I thought they were all into whips and chains and torture," he scoffed.

"Not Spike. I've tried to tell you how different he is. I don't know for sure, but I think it has something to do with Drusilla. I think she loves to be beaten and he can't bear to hurt her."

"But, he can bear to hurt you."

"Maybe he loves her more," Willow answered the accusation in a small, sad voice.

"And the bruise on your face?"

She shook her head. "I told you, he acted instinctively when I hit him with the cross. He's never slapped me before and..."

"He never will again," Xander finished, snidely. "Believe me, I've heard the line before.

"No one is perfect, Xander. Everyone has a demon inside."

"Oh, nice psychology there, Will," Xander snapped. "In your lover's case, it's unfortunately not a metaphor."

"No, his is real. Look, right now Spike and I are at another stalemate. It's kind of pointless to discuss our future when we probably don't have one." She sank back down onto her side, propping her head up on several pillows and all three fell silent, lost in inner contemplation.

"Xander?" Cordelia said hesitantly, drawing his eyes down to her. "I'm sorry I cheated on you."

Hurt crossed his face and his lower lip trembled. "Do you love her?"

"What? Xander, I love YOU."

"So...it's just sex, not love?"

Cordelia squirmed, flushing. "I guess. I mean, I love her as a friend, but I'm not a lesbian. We fool around. It's fun, but..." Her voice trailed off as she tried to make him understand.

Willow picked up the thread. "It's not love in the sense of a relationship, of wanting a future together. We experiment, have fun. Cordy and I are friends. It's just that we're friends that enjoy having sex with each other."

"But...why?" Xander asked. "Why is sex part of your friendship? Why can't you just go to the mall like other girls."

"Um, Xander. Willow's not the first girl friend..." Cordy explained, watching his eyes widen. "I think it happens a lot more than you think. I started fooling around with girls back in junior high."

"Oh geez," he sighed, rubbing his free hand over his face. "I just...we're together now and...don't I satisfy you?"

Cordelia's face fell and tears filled her eyes. "You think that's why? Oh, no Xander. It has nothing to do with you. I love you and yes, you satisfy me completely, but I still enjoy my time with Willow."

"I don't want to come between the two of you," Willow added. "Cordy and I can stop. I think...I'm going to get enough pain from Spike."

"Don't say that," Cordelia snapped and Willow shut up. "I refuse to accept that. Spike loves you. You just have to forgive each other."

Hearing the severity of Cordelia's voice, Xander released her wrist and watched as she rose to her feet to sit next to Willow's head. Gently she stroked Willow's hair from her face. "He hates hurting you."

"You didn't see him tonight. Oh, right, you did." Willow sighed sadly.

"Will?" Xander asked haltingly. "I've gotta know. I...why Angel? Why on Earth would you risk your life like that? I don't get it."

"Oh, Xander. There's been so much I haven't told you about in the last three months."

"He's evil, full out evil, wants us dead, etcetera? Remember?"

"I'm not so sure about that any more. He hasn't attacked any of us in months, not since right after he first changed. He seems pretty content to sit back, rule Sunnydale and fuck Dru."

Xander blushed at Willow saying a dirty word. He still had trouble picturing her as a mature, sexual woman. "He's still a really bad guy."

Willow sighed and hoped she could keep Buffy's true involvement with Angelus out of it. One more disillusionment and Xander would probably lose it. "A couple months ago, Angelus caught me in Spike's room and...Spike managed to convince him that giving me pleasure would hurt Buffy more than raping me. We had sex."

"Oh God," Xander interjected dully.

"I was fine. I'm still fine. He didn't hurt me and we managed to keep Spike's lack of paralysis a secret. Angelus doesn't know about our relationship though he believes that Spike captured me at that time and I guess he assumes we had sex in some form. On Wednesday, Angelus called me and asked me to come to him...and I did. It was a big mistake, and not just because Spike found us together."

"Why? Why would you willingly do...that with that beast?" Xander whispered hoarsely, his throat closed by emotion.

"I was confused, lost in my despair." Silently, Willow pled with her eyes for him to accept if he couldn't understand. "It's over. I'm fine, physically. I won't be doing it again."

"God I hope not," Xander yelled, choking over the words. His face graphically displayed all the horror he felt at the fact that his best friend had slept with his worst enemy.

"I know you hate him," Willow continued. "I hate him, too. It was stupid of me."

Xander rubbed his tired eyes, shaking his head numbly. "This is just too much, I think. I'm just going to try to forget that ever happened, because I really can't deal with it. There are more pressing things to deal with. Like...you two."

"Um...yeah...so, are you okay about it?" Cordelia asked hesitantly. "I...I really didn't think that it was cheating, but, of course it was."

"That's not...I don't think that bothers me all that much, and, yeah, you cheated, but...it was with Willow. I mean, maybe it should bother me more, but Willow's not another guy and I...love her. She's my best friend. I can't see me sharing you with a guy best friend, but...it seems different."

"Oh."

"I'm not...angry." He seemed a little surprised at his own answer. "I think I'm just really, really stunned right now."

"Xander, I know how much you care for Cordelia and I'm glad." He stared at her and Willow smiled slightly. "Yeah, me glad about the two of you. I remember how much I hated the idea at first, but...you two really work. I don't want to come between you two."

"It's okay, Will. I can't say that I'm not freaked, but I think that's mostly because when I look at you, I see you as a little girl in pigtails in a sandbox, crying because I stole your Barbie." He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I know...I mean, I...you know, the crush. I knew. I just didn't want to deal."

"It's okay, Xander. I love you, as my best and oldest friend, but the crush is gone."

"Which is one reason why I'm more comfortable around Willow," Cordelia added. "I don't see her as competition."

"I...still need some time to digest all this...but I think it will be okay," he said softly.

"Xander...I never want to hurt you and I know I have Willow and I can stop..."

"But, you don't want to," Xander said perceptively.

Slowly Cordelia shook her head and walked over to him. He pulled her gently onto his lap and she buried her face in his neck, hugging him tightly.

"It's okay, Cordy. I love everything about you. It may take me time to adjust, but I will eventually. "I just...I don't really want to know any details."

"Thank you," Cordelia whispered in his ear, tears leaking out of her eyes.

"I'm glad," Willow replied. "I don't want to give up what I have with Cordy. I...have a finite lifetime. We all do, of course, but most teenagers think they'll live forever. I know I won't."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, puzzled.

"Think about it, Xander. We live on the mouth of Hell and there's already a high mortality rate, especially amongst teens. Then take into account that we help the Slayer, yet we're powerless. The vampires know that we're her friends. And, me...well, I've accepted that my life won't be very long. Either Spike will be killed and the bond will destroy me...or he'll grow tired of me and kill me."

Both Cordelia and Xander gasped, stunned by Willow's seemingly calm acceptance of her future.

"Spike loves you," Cordelia argued. "Okay, he's really pissed right now, and who wouldn't be Angelus, euuu but he isn't going to kill you."

"Actually, I tend to agree with you, but...you know how tenuous his position in the clan is. If Angelus finds out that he can walk...Spike can't kill him."

"Why?" Xander asked.

"It's almost unheard of for a childe to kill its sire. If it happens, it usually happens in a fight instigated by the sire or by secretly hiring an assassin. Plus, I'm not sure Spike will ever totally recover his full strength."

"You know way too much about the way vampires work."

A ghost of a smile crossed Willow's face. "Have you learned nothing in the year of research?"

"Yeah, that Giles hogs the jelly donuts."

At that, all three friends smiled. They knew that their relationships were still strained, but they weren't broken and eventually everything would work out.

*****

Tired from perhaps the worst twenty four hours of his long life, Spike rolled through the quiet house towards his bedroom. Not even one o'clock in the morning and he was going to bed. This was fucking pathetic.

Entering his room, he closed the door and hit the light switch as he rose to his feet. Her scent hit him in the next instant, the heady combination of roses and blood. His sharp eyes scanned the room and found her crouched in a dark corner.

Panic assailed him as his first thought was what had their sire done to her now. Hurrying over to her, he crouched down carefully, trying not to startle her. She was rocking, her arms wrapped around her drawn up knees, and she was humming tunelessly. Her face was streaked with tears.

"Dru?" Gently he touched her shoulder, stilling her movements. "Luv? Are you okay?"

The humming increased in volume and Spike brushed her tangled hair out of her empty eyes. Very carefully he lifted her into his arms, her body stiff and unyielding, and carried her to the bed. Sitting back against the headboard, he cradled her in his arms, one hand running soothingly over her head and down her back, over and over.

Slowly Drusilla relaxed, the humming quieting then finally stopping. She sank into him and he felt her tears soak his shirt as she buried her face in his chest.

"It's okay, luvey. There, there..."

"Spike?" Her voice cracked hoarsely as she raised her head to look at him with tear-filled eyes.

"What happened, Dru? Did he hurt you again?"

"My heart is dead," she sobbed. "Daddy doesn't love me any more." Her chest heaved with unnecessary breaths as she sobbed hysterically in his arms.

Finally, she calmed down again under his gentle touch. "Why do you think that, luv?"

"I saw him, saw him with HER, saw him doing nasty things to HER." Her eyes flashed with sudden fury and she snarled, thrusting herself away from him. "Just like you do nasty things without me."

"Dru, you've lost me."

"My Angel's fucking the Slayer," she hissed, her demon free. Flinging herself off the bed, she spun around, looking for something to destroy, before bolting for the door. "I'll kill her!"

Spike cut her off, grabbing her arms. Hissing and snarling, Drusilla fought, lashing out with her claws and trying to knee him in the groin. Bleeding from cuts on his cheek and neck, Spike groaned as one of her blows connected. "Damn it, Dru. Cut it out."

"Let me go, let me go, let me go," she yelled, pounding her fists against his chest. "She must die, painfully, slowly. I'll rip out her eyes, then eat her nipples..."

Spike clapped one hand across her mouth and propelled her back to the bed, hissing, "Drusilla, if Angelus overhears you and has claimed the Slayer as his own..."

"Noooooo," she growled against his palm, twisting in his arms. Spike thrust her onto the bed, pinning her flailing body down with his own. He knew that if Drusilla actually managed to kill the Slayer, Angelus would stake her out in the sun. Their sire cared about the girl more than he would ever admit. Just attempting to kill her might be enough for him to end Drusilla's existence.

"Calm down, Dru," he ordered firmly. "Don't let the prick know that you know."

Her face shifted and the tears started flowing again. Slowly Spike lifted his hand from her mouth, frowning at the fang marks and spots of blood on his palm.

"Why? Why would he do that with HER?" she wept in desolation. "I've lost him again."

Moving off her shaking body, Spike curled her against him, again trying to soothe her. It was very reminiscent of the first few years after Angelus had gained his soul. Drusilla had never fully understand why he had left them. Why he had no longer loved her. He had a bad feeling that she would never fully understand why both Angelus and Spike had feelings for mortal women.

Well, at least he didn't care about his mortal enemy. Spike snorted at the thought, then refocused his attention on Drusilla. She was quieting down again, her tears slowing.

After a few minutes of quiet, Drusilla sat up, knuckling at her swollen eyes like a child. Making little gasping noises, she turned to face him. "Spike? Do you still love me?"

"Of course I do, luv. Why would you think I didn't?"

"But you love HER, too." Her brow furrowed as a puzzled look crossed her face.

"Just like you love both me and Angelus." He hated admitting it, but he knew it was true.

"Oh." From the expression on her face, it was obvious she had never thought of it that way. "And does daddy love the Slayer?"

"I don't know, luv. I don't think so. But he's obsessed with her, that's very obvious."

"You knew about them, didn't you," she said in a quiet voice, her eyes downcast.

"...Yes. I didn't want to hurt you. I'm very surprised he brought her here."

Drusilla's lower lip began to protrude as a pout formed. "I don't understand it. The little red head is just mortal, nothing, but the Slayer is our eternal enemy. She kills us."

"Yeah, well, 'daddy' can be a real idiot sometimes," Spike muttered, making Drusilla suddenly giggle and clap her hands over her mouth.

He stared at her in surprise as she whispered conspiratorially, "Don't let him hear you say that. He'll be oh so mad." She giggled again.

"And that's funny why?"

"Don't know." Still giggling, she toppled over on the bed, and Spike felt a smile tugging at his lips. Her mood swings never failed to amaze him, but he was glad she was past the 'kill the Slayer' mood.

As her laughter died, she looked up at him with hooded eyes, her body rising languidly back to a sitting position. "Daddy's had his fun tonight, but I'm all squidgy inside."

A rush of lust hit him and Spike smiled at her, his eyes narrowing. "Well, let's take care of that, eh?"

Jumping from the bed, Drusilla hurried to the door and locked it. "Angel went hunting, but just in case..." Leaning against the door, she reached for the straps of her black dress and pulled them down, slowly baring her breasts.

Staring at her erect, wine-colored nipples, Spike rose to his feet and pulled his shirt over his head as he strolled over to her. The gown slipped farther down her body, catching on her hips. One of her hands cupped a breast, her long fingernails scraping the nipple until she hissed in pleasure and her head rolled on the door.

Spike reached for the dress and gave a tug, sending it to the floor, leaving her in a pair of black stiletto heels. Placing his hands on the door on either side of her head, he leaned forward and brushed her lips with his. A low moan broke from her and she arched into his body, rubbing her breasts against his hard chest.

Deepening the kiss, Spike slipped his tongue between her lips, running it over her teeth before tangling it with hers. Drusilla's hands crept around his neck, her fingers lacing through his hair as one leg rose to wrap around his waist.

His cock surging to life, Spike pressed against her, making her whimper under his mouth and tighten her grip. Sliding his lips down her face, he found her throat and suckled hungrily from one side to the other as Drusilla mewled and wriggled in pleasure. The scent of her arousal wafted into his nostrils and he groaned, then nipped at her earlobe.

"Spike..."

Her hands slid down his back, then around to the front of his jeans, expertly unfastening the buttons. His cock sprang into her hands and she caressed him eagerly, making him buck against her, his lust intensified by each touch of her little fingers.

"Dru," he groaned as she lowered her leg to shove his jeans down to his ankles.

"Love me," she begged huskily, her hands catching his shoulders as she arched against him, driving his cock between her spread legs. Her wetness coated him and he slid back and forth, rubbing against her swollen clit and making her jump and whimper.

As their mouths met again in a hungry kiss, Spike ran his hands down her sides and around to cup her buttocks, squeezing gently and lifting her. Wrapping her legs around his waist, the shoes falling to the floor with a soft thud, Drusilla bucked against his cock, her teeth scraping his lips as her fingernails dug into his shoulders, drawing droplets of blood.

Growling in lust, Spike pressed her against the unyielding door and impaled her on his throbbing cock. As her tight pussy closed around him, squeezing, they both moaned and broke the kiss. Limber and strong, Drusilla thrust him deeper, then rose until only the tip of his cock remained, before plunging back down.

Throwing his head back, his eyes glazed with lust, Spike let her pump on him, her whimpers music to his ears. Finally, he could remain passive no longer and thrust into her harder, driving them both together. Drusilla buried her mouth in his throat, sucking, then biting into his jugular.

As his blood flowed from him, Spike gave a quiet shout and came, surging to her core as he spilled himself deeply inside her. Mewling in desire, Drusilla lapped at the closing wounds in his throat and let her trembling legs slide down.

She leaned back against the door, her legs spread, her breasts heaving with unnecessary breaths. Recovering from his orgasm, Spike sank to his knees and placed a kiss on her stomach, then licked her navel. Drusilla moaned and her legs shook harder.

Gently parting her moist folds, he leaned forward and nuzzled her clit with his nose as his tongue slid inside her, tasting their mingled secretions. Drusilla's hands gripped his head, guiding his mouth up her swollen labia to her throbbing clit. As he sucked passionately, she whimpered and twisted, her hands banging against the door.

"Spike," she cried, erupting into orgasm, her juices drenching his chin and flowing into his mouth. He lapped at her quivering flesh until she fell to her knees and into his arms. Quickly pulling his boots and jeans off, Spike scooped his princess up and carried her to the bed, laying her down and coming over her. His cock was hard again and he rubbed it against her wet mound.

Sighing in pleasure, Drusilla bent her knees, pulling him down to kiss him with languid desire. "Again, my Spike?"

"All night long, luv," he replied huskily, sliding his cock into her wetness with a soft grunt. Gently he rocked against her, rebuilding her desire, his cock brushing her clit with each stroke until it swelled and her legs wrapped around his back. She began to meet his thrusts, gasping his name.

Lowering his head, Spike captured one of her erect nipples, suckling until she whimpered and arched her back. "Bite," she begged.

Lust surged through him and he slammed his cock to the hilt as his fangs bit into her breast. Drusilla shrieked in ecstasy and came, her pussy gripping his cock and milking his own orgasm from him as he drank her cold, rich blood.

Quivering with pleasure, Drusilla collapsed, her fingers gliding over his back as his cock slowed its thrusts and his fangs retracted. He licked the puncture wounds and her nipple as his cock softened.

With a sigh, he pulled out and rolled onto his back. Drusilla curled against him, pillowing her head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around her, fingering her tangled curls.

"So good," she purred.

"I love you, Drusilla," he said softly, placing a delicate kiss on her brow.

"I love you too, my Spike." He felt her smile against his chest, then groaned as her blunt teeth fastened over one of his nipples. Her hand slid down his chest to his groin, her fingernails running through the sparse hair at the base of his cock, before scraping along the sensitive staff.

His cock responded, starting to harden again beneath her fingers, and Drusilla smiled broadly. "Again and again and again." Sliding down his body, she jerked gently on his cock until it reached erection, then ran her tongue over the weeping tip. "Do you want me to be dirty and suck your willy?" she asked coyly.

"Fuck, yes," he grunted as his cock thrust into her hand.

Turning onto her stomach at an angle to his body, Drusilla lowered her head and sucked his cock into her mouth, taking him to the hilt. Spike dug his fingers into the bedding, fighting for control, not wanting to thrust yet. Her tongue twirled around the aching flesh as she sucked back up to the tip, then plunged again, sending his cock down her throat.

"Dru," he growled, his hips reflexively bucking.

Raising her head, she let his cock slip free, then ran her tongue down the side, lifting the hard flesh so she could suckle his heavy balls, rolling the sac carefully in her mouth.

Spike felt the churning begin and knew he was near climax. So did Drusilla, and she lowered her mouth over the head, her tongue teasing the slit. With another growl, he thrust up, sending his cock down her throat as he came in great bursts of semen. She drank eagerly, pulling back and licking her lips clean as his cock sank again.

Rising to her knees, Drusilla lowered her eyes, but couldn't repress the sly smile on her face. "I was dirty. Will you punish me?"

The image of Willow's back crashed into Spike's mind and he closed his eyes briefly. Reaching into the night stand, he took out a blindfold and tossed it to Drusilla. "Put it on and lay on your stomach," he ordered softly. She obeyed quickly, squirming with renewed lust.

Spike withdrew a long feather from the drawer and ran it over her back, making her shiver.

"No spanking?" she whispered.

"Something better," he murmured into her ear and proceeded to tickle her to two more orgasms, the final one leaving her nearly unconscious with pleasure. As Drusilla lay on her stomach, her bottom in the air, shaking in erotic bliss, Spike knelt between her spread legs and thrust rapidly into her clenching pussy, gritting his teeth as his cock throbbed hungrily.

She began to buck backwards, slapping her bottom against his pelvis, mewling as he drove as deeply as he could, grunting with lust. As Drusilla screamed in pleasure and slid unconscious from her most violent orgasm of the night, Spike growled and pounded into her still quaking pussy, shooting his semen to her core.

Groaning at the aches in his immortal body, Spike fell next to her on his back and watched Drusilla's eyes flutter open. Slowly, she wrapped her arm across his waist and rested her head on the pillow next to his, sighing in pleasure.

"I ache all over," she murmured. "It's been so long since we had a night like this."

"I know, pet. It's been wonderful."

"Wonderful," she agreed, her eyes falling shut again as she drifted to sleep.

Sighing and scratching gently at healing wounds on his chest, Spike reached for the bedside lamp. The sound of a key turning in the lock reached his ears and his hand froze, the pulled back from the switch. He tensed, making sure he kept his legs still.

Angel walked silently into the room, grinning at the sight of the two lovers. Spike's eyes narrowed and he watched his sire carefully.

"Have fun?"

"Loads."

"I'm impressed, my boy. Even as an invalid, you managed to wear her out."

"Love will do that to a person."

Angel snorted, then shrugged his shoulders. "I'm going to bed. She can stay with you today. Maybe soon, you'll both join me."

"When Hell freezes over," Spike snarled.

Angel just chuckled. "Always one for a good cliche," he said as he left the room, pulling the door shut behind him.

"Prick," Spike muttered.

"Yeah, a big hard one with your name on it," Angel called through the door, laughing.

Growling low in his throat, Spike listened to his sire climb the stairs to his suite.

It wouldn't be long now before Angel called him to his bed. Spike wasn't sure if he could continue to fake his paralysis once Angel started fucking him.

And when Angel found out he could walk...

Desperately shoving aside thoughts of a possibly desolate future, Spike closed his eyes, hoping to lose himself in pleasant dreams of his princess, as outside the sun began to rise.

End