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The Road to Self-Discovery by Kimber
“How is she?” Giles inquired through the rear view mirror. “Sleeping still.” She didn’t move, and spoke in no direction in particular. “Let me know if you need anything. We’ll be there soon.” She nodded her head and closed the divider between them. They were on their way to James’ retreat in the mountains. No one knew of it, thankfully, and Giles decided it would be best if they didn’t stay in the mansion any more. Angel and Cordelia were following in the van that was packed with necessities, and James and Giles were in the front seat of Willow’s limo. They’d left three hours ago and were determined not to stop until they arrived. Before they left, James removed the tracking device from the car and smashed it. Now the Council would never be able to find them. They hoped. <Immortal Watcher. . . Quentin as her mentor/tormentor. . .raped by a hybrid demon.> That was just about everything wrapped up in the form sleeping next to her. <So much on your shoulder’s Will. I don’t know why you never told me any of it. God, I know I have my own stuff to deal with, but, I love you so much, you’re my best friend.> Buffy sighed and glanced at the now stirring form beside her. Slowly she opened her eyes. “Where are we?” Buffy whispered. “We should be there soon.” She sat up and wiped the sleep from her eyes. She slumped over to the other side of the seat and put her head on Buffy’s shoulder and yawned. “So sleepy. How long have I been conked out?” The slayer smiled. “About two hours.” She anticipated the next question. “We’ve been driving for three.” Willow sat up and looked at her friend apologetically. “I’m sorry. You must have been bored to death with me snoring into the upholstery.” She gave her a sheepish grin. “No, it’s okay, Will . . .it gave me some time to think.” Absentmindedly, Buffy was playing with a few strands of red hair in her fingers. “What’s on your mind?” Willow gave her a worried look. “No doom and gloom, promise. “ Buffy reassured. “I was just thinking about you, me, us. . .how most things change, but still stay the same, and how it’s really cool in a weird sort of way, you know?” Willow blinked. “Uh, riddle me this, riddle me that?” Buffy smiled. “Sorry. . . my mind got ahead of my mouth. I guess I was just thinking about the whole situation we’ve gotten ourselves into here. . . and prophesies seem to have a way of following my around you know. I’m sorry if I got you involved, I didn’t mean to.” “Got me involved? Buffy, you know as well as I do that we can’t control this kind of thing.” She studied her hands a moment and continued. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner. It kinda wipes out the whole ‘no secrets allowed’ rule.” She touched her cheek with her hand. “It’s okay, Will. You told me in your own time . . .that’s the important thing. . . .that and your safety in whatever we’re about to get ourselves into.” She leaned into the slayer’s touch. “I’ll be fine, as long as you’re around.” In a bold move, Buffy began to draw the girl closer. “Buffy, Giles and James are . . .” “Shh, no more talking.” She silenced her by placing one finger across soft lips. Soft, kissable lips. “Just one, little tiny peck.” The intentions were good, but she hardly got the end result. The kiss was tentative and restrained. Just enough to make their hearts leap but not too much. Buffy pulled back and looked into troubled eyes. “Will, what’s wrong? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. . .” “No, it’s not you Buffy, I just. . . you were right, we need to take it slow.” She smiled at her. “It was nice though.” Further conversation was interrupted by the car stopping. Giles rolled down the divider. “We’re here, thankfully.” They all followed up to the cabin. From what they could tell, it was situated in the middle of nowhere and there were trees as far as you could see. Upon entering, they all chose rooms. “This is great, James. It’s so big.” ”Yes, Miss Rosenberg . . it is quite deceptive from the exterior, isn’t it?” She smiled at the older man. “Please, James. . .if we’re going to be working together, you’ll have to start calling me Willow.” Dinner was eaten in relative silence and everyone decided to turn in for the night. There would be a long day waiting for them tomorrow, and they weren’t full recovered from the trip yet.
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. “Busy?” She turned around from brushing her hair. “Cordy, no. . .come on in.” She stepped into the room and closed the door. “We didn’t get a chance to talk earlier, you know, with impending death and prophesies . . .I was wondering how you were doing?” She sat down on the bed a few inches from Willow. “Okay. Just trying to digest everything I guess. I mean, a lot has happened and who knew about Quentin, and then the trip to Callaway and I knew you and Angel were coming but I didn’t tell Buffy and do you think that was okay? I mean I feel like I should have warned her and we haven’t seen each other in three years and it’s all the same but different, but things are changing and. . . “ She put her hand on her shoulder. “Relax, Red . . .from zero to babble in record time as always. I didn’t come here to make things harder for you. I just wanted to see how you were . . .I’d better go.” She began to get up but Willow reached up to stop her. “No, don’t . . I . . .it’s just weird after all this time. . .you know? I don’t want this to be weird. But I guess it’s just getting weirder by the minute.” She shrugged her shoulders. She sat down again. “So you and Buffy? I mean., did you tell her . . “ “God, no . . I couldn’t. And yes, Buffy and I.” She saw her expression change. “It just sort of, happened. I wasn’t looking for it, or maybe I was, but . . .we’ve only kissed once and we’ve talked about this, Cordy.” Cordelia took the brush from her hand and turned to stroke it through the mane of copper in front of her. ”I know we have. And I thought I was alright with it but. . .I’m not and I can’t pretend to be, I know it was a long time ago, but . . .” “It feels like yesterday, I know. . .but now everything is different. You’re with Angel and sometimes LA seems like it was a dream or something.” She stopped brushing and placed her hands on slender shoulders. “But it wasn’t a dream, it was real from what I remember and Angel and I are, well, complicated. He knows about” She turned. “You told him? How could you tell him?” She got up and started to pace around the room. “Oh God, this is way too much to handle at once. . . I think I’m going into overload.” Cordelia got up and stopped the redhead from wearing a hole in the carpet. “Hang on there, Red. . .slow the train down a sec. . .he’s good with it. We got caught red handed anyway. He came over late one night to drop off some papers and I left the bedroom door open. He saw you in there and I had to fess up.” “Just knowing he knows what he knows is . . .” She backed up a step. “Are you ashamed of it? Of everything that happened?” She began to retreat for the door but Willow reached out and stopped her. “No, you know I’m not. Cordy, when I went to you two in LA . . I was so lost, I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. The Council told me I could go anywhere and I went to you and Angel. I needed to heal and process everything that happened. It had only been 6 months since the rape.” She released her grip a little and let her hands fall down to entwine with the ones in front of her. “You helped me, you don’t know how much, and when I went there I wasn’t looking for anything but to get away. You did that . . .you helped me get away and get comfortable in my own skin again. . . .getting involved with you was only a bonus.” She smiled a moment and allowed the brunette time to process everything she’d just said. “You gave me what I needed back then and when I left we agreed that no matter what happened, the friendship we’d created wouldn’t be changed.” She reached up and touched her cheek lightly. “I saw you standing there in the library, holding her hand and I just. . .” She leaned over so her forehead was pressed against a pillow of red hair. She whispered. “I wished it was me . . .I remembered when it was me and how you smelled, and how you felt, and how your eyes lit up when you laughed and. . .” “I know, Cordy. I saw you reach up to kiss Angel and I.” The sentence was long forgotten in a kiss. They soon remembered every crevice, every nook that made the other shiver. Cordelia pulled her in closer and Willow gasped from the pressure. Taking that as an invitation, Cordelia ran her tongue lightly across a pink swollen lip and was met with it’s match. The kissed for what seemed like forever when Willow finally broke away. “Cordelia . . “ ”I know, we can’t do this. Angel” “And Buffy.” She gave her an apologetic smile. “I’ll never forget what you did for me, you know . . .we have to be . . .we have other people in our lives now, other people that love us very much.” “I know. And I wouldn’t trade Angel for the world, but that doesn’t make me miss you any less.” ”Me either.” She leaned over and gave the taller girl a big hug. “We can do this. It’s our time to try out the friendship side of us. Angel deserves a chance and so does Buffy.” She smiled into a mane of red hair. “I know. I just hope they know how good they’ve both got it.”
<This isn’t good . . .not good at all.> Giles was standing outside Willow’s room. He’d meant to speak with her but heard voices from the other side of the door. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop . . he caught clips of the conversation and what he’d suspected happened, had. When Willow returned from her trip to LA she was withdrawn and sad. Now he knew why. <These secrets are going to be the death of her. The death of them all.> He was left in a quandary. The dynamics of the relationships in this little group could be the undoing of this entire mission. One slip, one misspoken word and they were all doomed as well as the world. It would all unravel. He noticed the door begin to open and was left with no choice but to hide. Not very well, though. “Giles?” “Yes, I was just coming to speak with you, but I heard voices and . . .” He raised his hands and sighed. “I think we need to talk, Willow.” Cordelia made a hasty exit and Willow invited Giles into her room. <So much for sleep.>
“. . .and that’s everything?” She got up and stretched. “Yes, Giles. Now you know everything.” She walked over to the night table with her back to him. “Every embarrassing, sordid detail. . . well, not all the details, but” ”That’s quite alright. I don’t need, um, details.” He got up and put his hand on her shoulder. “There simply isn’t much choice here. You know what has to happen, don’t you?” She sighed in resignation. “Yes, dad, I know.” ”There’s no need to be flippant with me. I’m only trying to help.” She turned around regretting the words. “I’m sorry, Giles. My brain is misfiring from all of this. I can’t believe I have to do this.” ”Yes, well. There’s no time like the present, don’t you think? It’s not too late and if all goes well, then.” ”Giles, this is the Scooby gang your talking about. . . since when has all ever gone the way it was supposed to.” She glanced over at the clock. “Hmm, nine thirty. I guess we can start and anything that goes unresolved can be dealt with in the morning.” ”Very well. I‘ll gather the others. No need to wake James. He’s thankfully no part of this.” “Giles, we didn’t do this on purpose.” ”I know, and I’m sorry.”
The hallway was a popular place that night. He watched Giles leave, stepped out into the shadows and glanced down at his watch. <Right on schedule.> It was to happen tonight, their lives were never going to be the same. The past three years had culminated to this point and they didn’t even know it. They didn’t know they’d brought it on themselves.
“I’m sure you’re all wondering why we’ve gathered here.” He stopped and looked at them sitting on the oversized couch. Willow was sitting next to both Buffy and Cordelia and Angel took up the leather chair by the fireplace. “In what we are about to undertake, there has to be a level of trust achieved, a level of understanding.” Buffy broke in. “We do trust each other Giles. I mean, it’s not like we haven’t worked together in the past.” He took his glasses off and continued. “I’m well aware of that, Buffy. But there are secrets here. . .secrets that must come out in order for us all to have clear minds when this begins.” “Giles, I still don’t understand why . . .” ”Buffy. There are things you need to know. Things that I haven’t told you.” Willow got up off of the couch and walked over to the window. “Will, what is it?” She waited a few moments and began her story. “After I was attacked, I was lost. I felt empty inside. I didn’t know what to do and the Council didn’t know what to do with me. It was six months after it and I decided that I needed to get away and clear my head.” Angel caught on to what was happening. “Willow, you don’t have to do this.” She looked over at the vampire and smiled a sad smile. “Yes I do Angel.” ”What? What’s going on, Will?” Buffy looked thoroughly confused and was becoming panicked. “I went to LA to stay with Angel and Cordelia for a while. Almost a year actually.” She was still looking out the window, unable to face them. Buffy sat still for a moment trying to process what she was saying. “You were in LA for almost a year and didn’t call me?” She stood and walked up behind her. “You told them? Everything?” “Turns out that the best therapists are in LA . . .must have to do with Hollywood being so close and all the stars being so neurotic.” She gave a little laugh, but was unable to find the humor. “I had a relationship with someone while I was there. This person helped me deal with everything that had happened.” She turned to face Buffy. “I told this person everything I told you. I’m sorry Buffy, I lied when I said you were the first person I told.”. “Is that what this is about? Will, it doesn’t matter, as long as you’re okay. . .I don’t care who you told or who you had a relationship with.” She has a quizzical expression on her face. As the words came out, a look of realization came into her eyes. She looked over at the vampire in the armchair accusingly. “Angel?” She looked back at Willow. “ With Angel, you . . “ “No, Buffy. It wasn’t Angel.” A little voice broke in from the couch. She’d almost forgotten she was sitting there. “Cordelia? You had a thing with Cordelia?” Buffy began to pace in front of the fireplace then stopped short. “I saw her come out of your room earlier. Is that was this is about? And in the limo? God, I thought I was pushing you.” She brought her arms up around herself. “You two must have had a great laugh at my expense.” Cordelia got up from the chair and crossed the room. “No, Buffy. Not everything is about the all mighty slayer. I wanted to see how she was doing because I haven’t seen her since then.” “And we’re together. Have been for a year now.” Angel stood and walked over to Cordelia. He protectively placed her a step behind him. “Before you assault me with a million questions let me explain. I have a soul – it’s permanent. I can’t lose it in a moment of true happiness. Cordelia and I have been working together since she came to LA. That’s almost six years. Our relationship changed when Willow left. It took me getting jealous to realize what was right in front of me.” They all held their breath. Willow finally spoke up. “Buffy, say something.” She smiled. A horrible, twisted, mocking smile like only she could pull off. “Say what, Will? You lied to me! You of all people . . .I thought you trusted me, I thought we were special to each other? Now I find out that not only did you have a relationship with Cordelia of all people. . . now she’s got Angel too? I can’t believe you people. . . and you. “She turned to Angel “How long have you known and your still doing the tortured soul routine? You” She turned on Cordelia next. “First you take Xander, then Willow, now Angel? Is there anything else of MINE you’d care to have? How about my mother? Or my life!? You want those too?” “Buffy, please calm down. There’s no need to panic.” Giles tried his best to diffuse the situation “You wanna be next Watcher-guy? Cause I’ve got a whole three years of hurt saved up special for you.” She watched Giles back up then turned to Willow. “And you. How could you do this to me? How could you keep this a secret? I can almost get past the fact that you’ve been getting it on with this pathetic excuse of a high school debutant but, Angel? You knew about them and you didn’t tell me?” “It wouldn’t have mattered. . .wouldn’t have changed things. You know that.” Angel spoke up again. He couldn’t stand to see her on the attack with Willow. Buffy ignored him and continued her verbal assault. “When did you plan on telling me? Over dinner? When we’re fighting for our lives? Watch out behind you and oh, by the way I warmed Cordelia up so Angel could take over while I was gone? Is that how it was gonna be?” Everything stopped, everything stood still and the slap Willow placed across Buffy’s face was the only thing they heard. Buffy gave her a look of horror and bolted out the door into the night. ”I’ll go.” Angel took off after her. Cordelia closed the gap between her and Willow. “Red, you alright?” Willow shook her head no and fell into her embrace. Giles leaned against the wall and let out a sigh. <Dear God, what have I done.>
An hour later Angel walked into the room carrying a knocked out slayer. “Angel, what happened?” Giles rushed over to where he stood. He walked past him and laid her on the couch. “We fought. . .she was so angry, we were out front. I tried to just block her punches but I got mad. . .we fought like we never have before. . .not even when I was . . .she advanced on me and I threw her off. . .Giles, I . . .what have I done?” He knelt down to examine her. She had gashes across her face and was bleeding heavily from her head. He listened to her chest and checked her pulse. “Her pulse is weak. She may not make it Angel.” He looked up at the vampire with sadness and anger in his eyes. Before he knew it, Angel was thrown against the wall. Rupert Giles was no more and Ripper took over. He punched him in the face once, twice, three times. Angel’s legs gave way and he wound up on the floor. Giles took the opportunity to kick him anywhere he found an opening. Angel never lifted a finger to defend himself. Willow and Cordelia walked in with James in tow. “Rupert. . .Rupert stop! What are you doing?!” James ran over to restrain him. Willow and Cordelia stood there in shock. Then Willow noticed the still form on the couch and went over to her. “Buffy?” She shook her gently then turned to Giles. “What happened? Can someone please tell me what’s going on?!” She was crying, wiping the blood away from Buffy’s face and smoothing the encrusted hair away. It wouldn’t stop, the blood just kept coming. Giles shook free of James and turned to Angel. “You very well may have just killed her you bastard.” Angel looked up at Willow. “We fought. . .she, I threw her off into the bushes. . I didn’t think she’d get hurt. . “ He couldn’t continue. James tried to get a hold of the situation. “Alright, all of you, that’s enough! We’ll not have anymore of this bickering.” The room turned silent and he continued on. “I was hoping to avoid this, but now you give me no choice.” He turned to Giles and began to explain. “Richard wanted you to find the pages because he knew you’d leave the mansion. He knew you’d take the lot of us and go. It’s the prophesy, Rupert. It’s been coming for over three years now and whether your aware of it or not, you’ve all been taking part in it for that long.” He turned to Willow. “Willow, you must listen to me. You must trust that I will not steer you in the wrong direction.” Willow nodded her head. “Just make her better, James. Anyway we can.” James walked over to where Angel lay and spoke softly. “Can you get up?” Angel nodded yes and James helped him to his feet. He helped Angel over to stand next to Giles. “Now listen to me, we don’t have much time. The minute the slayer dies, Willow will go through the final change and will take her place as the Immortal Watcher.” Giles began to protest. “No, she can’t die . . she is the slayer! The one in all the world . . .she’s . . like a daughter to me.” He broke down and a tear fell from his eye. “Rupert, you must trust me. The Council has anticipated this for three years and we are prepared . .every one of us in this room has the equipment to see this through.” He turned his gaze to Angel. From the expression on the vampire’s face, he knew what was coming. “I won’t do it. I’ll die first.” James squared his shoulders and looked him dead in the eye. “You must. If you don’t she’ll be lost forever and the forces of darkness will win. You don’t have the slightest idea of what we’re facing here.” Giles watched the exchange between the two men and it dawned on him. “You can’t be serious, James.” “I’m afraid I am, Rupert.” He took something out of his pocket and held it in front of him. Giles knew the object all too well. “The orb of Thesula. But that’s impossible . . the last one was used on Angel.” ”You thought it was, but the Council has been keeping it safe. When this is used, there is one left at the mansion.” Willow watched in silence at the entire exchange. Slowly she got off the floor and walked up to Angel. She took his hand in hers and whispered. “Do it.” He shook his head, but she pressed on. “Do it, Angel. I won’t lose her, I can do the spell and I can make her soul permanent like I did for you. Just do it.” He reached up and touched her cheek. “You don’t know what you ask, little one.” He turned a sad gaze towards Cordelia. With tears in her eyes, she acknowledged him and nodded her head yes. They all saw the exchange and were confused by it. There was no time for questions though, there was only time to act. “Five minutes alone with Cordelia. That’s all I ask. Then I’ll do this.” The words came shakily out of his mouth. The three of them nodded and left, leaving Angel and Cordelia alone.
She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I thought we’d have more time.” She cried into his shirt. “Two-hundred forty six years, you’d think I’d learn to spend it wisely.” He grasped her hands and brought her around in front of him. “Tell her. When you leave here, wait an hour then tell her. I should be gone by that time . . .there’s plenty of blood packets in the refrigerator.” He kissed her forehead and let out a choked sob, then kissed her with sad passion. He broke away and held on to her. “I’ve never said it, it was never the right time . . .I love you, you know that. You have to believe.” She couldn’t speak at first, only nod her head. “I know. I love you too.” She kissed him softly, lingering for a moment before pulling away. “Come back to me? After it’s all said and done, come back.” He laughed a little. “You too, don’t know what you ask.” He closed his eyes and breathed in. “If we . . .if you win, Willow can do it, she can bring me back. . . you just have to hold on.” He hugged her tight then let go. “Now go, be with her. She needs you now and I have a slayer to turn.” There was nothing left to say. She touched his cheek lightly and backed out of the room. He took a few minutes to compose himself and approached the still form on the couch. He lifted her onto his lap and moved the hair away from the nape of her neck. “I never thought it would come to this, yet I always knew.” A tear fell from his eye and landed on her cheek. He whispered in the darkness. “Please forgive me.” He vamped and clamped down on her neck.
Fifteen minutes later, Cordelia knocked on Willow’s door. When she found no answer, she opened it and saw Willow laying on the bed. She looked over at the girl and offered a weak smile. “Hey.” ”Hey. How are you doing?” She sat up and shrugged her shoulders. “As good as can be expected I guess. How’s Angel? I mean, did he. . .?” Cordelia closed her eyes at the sound of his name. “He’s. . .doing it now. He said to wait an hour before we go back in there.” She leaned against the door jam and looked like she was almost ready to collapse. Willow got to her feet and walked over to her. “Cordy, what is it?” She reached out and touched the brunette’s hand. She shook her head. “Nothing . . stress, this whole night, the long ride here. . . everything.” James appeared behind Cordelia and put his hand on her shoulder. She jumped a little and turned to face him. Her expression was all the confirmation he needed. “You know then?’ She nodded her head sadly. “I’ve always known. It was a condition put on him by the Powers That Be. He knows what he’s gotten himself into.” He observed her sadly. “I’m sorry my dear . . .it’s for the greater good. I know it’s no consolation, but” ”James, what’s going on?” Willow looked back and forth between them both. Neither one of them were eager to answer. Giles appeared behind him and he stepped aside. “Perhaps we should all sit down inside.” Willow and Giles sat on the bed and Cordelia walked over to the window. James stood before them and was unsure of how to begin. “There is a killer among us. Someone who will betray us this very hour.” “James, you’re scaring me.” ”I’m sorry Willow.” He cleared his throat and continued. “As you know, the last time you anchored Angel’s soul, it became permanent. You said yourself you changed the incantation and the Powers That Be confirmed it to Angel last year. However, there is a loop-hole.” Giles snapped out of his thoughts. “There always is.” “If he turns someone, anyone, the cost is his life. As Angel that is.” Giles looked up at him in shock. “No, it can’t be.” Willow stood up and went over to Cordelia. “Angelus?” Weakly, she nodded her head and confirmed her fears. “He’ll turn back into Angelus an hour after he turns her. He knew . . .he’s always known but we never thought, he never imagined he’d ever do it again.” A sob escaped and she collapsed into Willow’s arms. “He knows how much you love her. He did it for you, Red, he did it for you.” They heard glass break, then a scream. They all filed out of Willow’s room into the living room and the site that was waiting for them. There was Buffy, chained to the wall, curled up in a fetal position. They all stood there and held their breath. Willow approached her cautiously. “Buffy?” The slayer stirred and looked up at the redhead with a blank expression. “Will? Oh, God, Will . . .what’s happened to me?” Willow continued her cautious approach and reached out to her. “Buffy . . you’re going to be okay, I promise. I’m going to” Suddenly, Buffy reached out and grabbed her arm. She twisted her arm around her back and Willow let out a little squeak. “You did this to me you little bitch!” She tightened her grip. “And for that I’ll kill you. Do you hear me?” She reached up and grabbed a hand full of hair. She shifted into game face and leaned in. “I’ve been dying to know what you taste like. . .I’ve held out long enough, don’t you think?” Suddenly she went stiff and slumped over, breaking her grasp on Willow. Willow looked up to see Giles holding a tranquilizer gun. He ran over and knelt next to Willow. “Are you alright?” She closed her eyes, took a breath and whispered. “It’s not Buffy . . she’s not Buffy . . .she’s not Buffy.” Giles reached down and helped her to her feet. “James, the orb. . .we must do this before she wakes up.” Ten minutes later they were all sitting in a circle a safe distance from Buffy. Cordelia was lighting the herbs and Giles was lighting the candles. Willow took a deep breath and cast her stones. “Are we ready?” They all nodded in unison and Willow nodded to Giles to begin. “Quod perditum est, invenietur. . .What is lost, return.” Willow cast the stones again and chanted. “Not dead... nor not of the living. Spirits of the interregnum, I call. Gods, bind her. Cast her heart from the... evil... realm. Return. (pants) I call on... (pants).” Her head falls to her chest. Suddenly, her head snaps back and she looks up with her eyes wide open. Her head snaps back down and her eyes stare into the Orb. She begins to chant steadily in Rumanian as though possessed. “Te implor, Doamne, nu ignora aceasta rugaminte. . .I implore you, Lord, do not ignore this request!” Giles looks at her concerned but Cordelia whispers to him. “I remember this part . . she’s okay. . .it’s almost done.” He gives her a nod and behind them, Buffy begins to stir. Willow continues on and her eyes take on a luminecent light. “Nici mort, nici al fiintei . . .Neither dead, nor of the living...Lasa orbita sa fie vasul care-i va transporta, sufletul la el. . .Let this Orb be the vessel that will carry her soul to her. . . Asa sa fie! Asa sa fie! Acum!. . . So it shall be! So it shall be! Now! Buffy scrambles to her feet and lets out a piercing scream. “NO! NO!” Willow is unfazed. “Acum!. . .Now!” The Orb glows brightly for a brief moment and goes dark. Willow suddenly relaxes, and looks over at Buffy who has just fallen to her knees. Willow scrambles to her feet, Giles tries to stop her but she was determined. She kneels down in front of her and notices a purplish light leaving her eyes. She reaches out tentatively and brushes her shoulder. “Buffy?” She shakes her head a little and looks up to the girl in front of her. “Where am I?” She leans back against the wall and runs her hands through her hair. She blinks and a look of understanding washes across her face. “Angel . . we fought. . .I hit my head.” She reaches up and flinches from the bruise that’s still there. “It was dark. . .I felt like I was falling, then I was suddenly pulled back up. . .the blood, it tasted . . “ She looks at Willow and a tiny blood-tear rolls down her cheek. “I’m not human, am I?” Willow shook her head. “No. You were going to die. . .Angel had to . . .” Giles walked over. “It was the only way, Buffy. We simply had no choice.” He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You have your soul. Willow saw to that.” Giles began to unlock the chains and help her to her feet. “Are you alright?” Buffy’s gaze never left Willow. “I’m fine. A little, um. . . “ She shrugged her shoulders. Cordelia caught on. “In the fridge . .” Buffy looked at her and smiled. “Thanks.” She walked away towards the kitchen. Willow began to get up. <How could this have happened?> “James. I think you owe us an explanation.” James nodded his head. “I do.” He walked over to the leather chair and sat down. He placed a few more logs on the fire and began. “I’ve been working with Richard and Quentin for the past three years. Believe me when I say that the death of the slayer was inevitable. Now that she is a vampire, the next slayer will not be called as long as she walks this earth . . .living or dead.” He looked over at them and they all took seats around the room. “Willow is now the Immortal Watcher, Angelus has returned, and Buffy is a vampire with slayer powers. This was necessary to stop Ethan Rayne’s attempt to open the new Hellmouth located underneath the mansion.” “I don’t feel different.” Willow dryly commented. “I don’t suppose you would. It’s a simple process really. All it took was the slayer’s death. You must believe it was inevitable.” He walked over to where she was sitting and knelt down in front of her. “Please. . .hold no ill thoughts about me. I kept it from you to keep you safe. You never would have agreed to it if you knew what it entailed. Your station now seals Rayne’s fate. He will be stopped.” Willow smiled down at him sadly. “I know, James. I know. . . it’s for the greater good.” ”The price seems much too high.” Giles looked over to them. “It does now, Rupert. Trust me when I say we’ll win. We can do this, and with the help of Buffy the way she is now.” As if on cue, Buffy emerged from the kitchen. “Twisted poetic irony, don’t you think?” She crossed the room and stood before the three of them. “I’ve become what it is . . .was my destiny to destroy.” She walked over to the fireplace and turned around. “I can’t do it . . .I can’t be this creature, this demon shadowing what I was! I’ll die first!” She produced a stake from her hand and rammed it through her heart. Willow got up. “Buffy! No!” She stopped short inches from her. Buffy stood there with a look of shock on her face and a very large stake protruding from her chest. She fell to her knees and began to cry. “God, I can’t even kill myself right. I must be off my game.” Willow joined her on the floor and took her hand. She gasped a little from the coldness of it but didn’t pull away. She held Buffy’s hand up in front of both their faces. “Recognize this?” Giles walked over and knelt down too. “The Gem of Amorah.” Cordelia joined them. “That’s impossible. . .he smashed it after he killed Marcus.” They all looked up to her confused. “Oz gave it to him. . .Spike captured Angel and had this vampire child molester guy torture him until we agreed to exchange the ring for Angel. . .they fought, but Marcus got away and headed for the beach. Angel got the ring and killed him. Doyle told me he smashed it.” “Um, guys? Stake in heart, pain. . .” She looked at Giles. “Take it out please?” He reached over and yanked on it none too carefully. “Ouch. . .hey!” She looked at him under hooded eyes. “Serves you right. Think next time before you try and kill yourself.” He shook his head. “Um, I mean. . .oh, never mind.” He shook his finger at her accusingly. “Don’t do it again. Understand?” Buffy gave him a mocking smile. “Yes dad.”
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