Redemption

Part 5

B's alarm woke us up way too early. "I've got classes all morning... You want to meet at the Campus Deli for lunch?" B was doing the getting ready thing, and I was trying to block out the sunlight with a pillow over my face. I mumbled something which basically sounded like "Yeah," and she said, "Great! See you then."

The next thing I knew, I rolled over and the clock read 11:15. Shit. I had to hustle to get ready and over to campus before noon. I didn't make it, but I wasn't too late. I spotted B already sitting down, and right next to her was Beefstick. Crap.

I did the stealthy thing, and managed to get close enough to hear what they were saying. Their faces were all serious, so I guessed it wasn't good news for Beefstick.

"I don't understand, everything was fine a few days ago."

"A lot has happened since then, Riley. I-I just need time to deal with all of it."

"You mean Faith. Frankly, I don't get the big deal here, Buffy. Do you think I cheated on you or something? If anything, I cheated with you!"

"No, it's not just that. I mean, that didn't make me very happy, but that's not the only reason I need a break right now. Look, I'll call you in a couple of days, ok?"

"Yeah, ok." Beefstick looked pretty pissed when he left. Then again, I suppose I would be too if B just told me to take a hike. I waited a couple of minutes more, and then walked up to the table.

"Hey, B. Sorry I'm late, I kinda overslept. A lot."

"That's ok. Actually, I'm kinda glad you're late. I ran into Riley a few minutes ago." She was quiet; I bet the whole Riley thing got to her. She's not used to dumping guys, just boinking them and having them turn evil.

"Oh yeah? Things five by five between you two?"

"No, things are most definitely not five by five. I told him I needed a break from our relationship. Just until I figure things out."

"What's to figure out?" I took a bite out of the roast beef sandwich she got for me. My favorite. I wonder why she remembered.

She just shrugged, and started eating her own sandwich.

"B, you need to find the fun. I mean yeah, this thing with Beef--er, Riley sucks. But you need to have a night out, something to clear your head, you know?"

She looked at me, but didn't object. "What do you suggest?"

I winked at her. "You'll find out tonight."

I just smiled, and looked B up and down. She'd let me dress her for once, and I chose black denim jeans, docs, and a white t-shirt to contrast with my black one. She looked good, I thought, although Buffy always looked good. But this was good in a take-no-shit, pastels-be-damned way.

I walked down the stairs to the basement rave, pulling B along after me. The sign above the door read "The Succubus." I had found it during one of my long, aimless, lonely walks around the bad parts of town, and immediately fell in love with it. I mean, the Bronze was ok, but it just wasn't "it," you know?

I tossed a five dollar bill at the bouncer, a skuzzy, bearded man with a hungry look. He looked us over, and I can't say I blame him.

The club echoed with deep, pounding rhythms that I could feel down to my bones. Buffy was looking around, she was probably surprised. This wasn't a "safe" club, where yuppie kids could come and shoot pool, and order mochas. I laughed out loud. Far from it.

I led her past dancing couples, and couples that just ditched the pretense of dancing and were groping each other on the dance floor. You'd never seen so many piercings and tattoos in one place before, I swear. I put my arm around B's waist, just so I could guide her better through the dark club. Yeah, right. We got to the bar, and grabbed two empty seats.

Buffy leaned over and yelled in my ear, "What are we doing here?" It was almost impossible to hear each other over the music.

I just shot her another of my knowing smiles. "We're looking for a demon."

"What kind of demon?" Buffy was in Slayer mode now, eyes scanning the crowd for danger.

"You'll know it when you see it." I nodded at the bartender who brought over a glass of Coke and a bottle of beer. I set the beer down in front of Buffy.

"Oh, no, I had that lesson taught me the hard way," Buffy said, pushing the beer away. "I'll just have what you're having."

Too fucking hilarious. Well, she asked for it. I signaled the bartender to bring another Coke for Buffy. B took a sip of the soda, and grimaced. "This tastes funny."

"Must be the water they use," I told her, taking a long drink. "You'll get used to it."

She seemed to be getting used to it already. Buffy's second drink was a much longer one.

The song changed to a fast, dark, techno song with a pounding dance beat. Sisters of Mercy. Perfect. "C'mon," I said, grabbing Buffy's hand. "Let's dance."

"Out there...just the two of us, I mean?" Buffy looked at me blankly.

I just smiled at her. "It's not like we haven't done more than that, just the two of us." She blushed. "C'mon, it's not like anyone here cares anyway."

I pointed at the dance floor, which had more than a few same-sex couples out there. She finally allowed me to lead her out there, among the dancing couples and swirling clove-smoke. God, I love this. It's been way too long.

Buffy started dancing, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Every move was graceful, even when she was moving fast and wild like she was now.

Pretty soon I noticed that B was watching me too, and I danced closer. Pulling out all the moves now, my eyes locked with hers. "You up for this, B?"

Buffy couldn't tear her eyes away from mine. "I'm up for anything, F."

Time for checkmate. I smiled, and danced closer, stepping around behind her. B kept dancing, and I put my hands on her hips, feeling them sway back and forth to the beat. I think she stopped breathing; I know I had. She shocked me by pushing back against me, covering my hands with hers.

I buried my face in blonde hair, inhaling deeply, that smell which was only Buffy. I flicked my tongue out, brushing Buffy's ear with it. "You find that demon yet, B?" I whispered.

Buffy groaned deep in her throat and before I knew what was happening, turned so she was facing me. She grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back until I felt the wall of the club behind me. It was painted black and reeked of clove, tobacco and sex. Buffy inhaled deeply, and dove in toward me, kissing my neck and jawline. "What do you think?"

It was checkmate, all right, but I was the one who had been mated. So to speak. I rested my head against the wall, barely able to catch my breath. "I think you found it, all right."

She ground her hips against mine one last time. "Glad to hear it," she said, laying one more kiss on my nose. She brought her hand up to stroke my face. "C'mon, I'm thirsty. What kind of water did they put in that Coke, anyway?"

I grinned. "It's called Jack Daniels."

B was still asleep, which wasn't all that surprising. I think we stumbled home at about 4 o'clock this morning. I rolled out of bed and pulled on a t-shirt and some clean underwear. First things first. I staggered downstairs, and filled a couple of glasses with water. It took a little looking around, but I found some aspirin soon enough. I popped a few, washing them down with a couple of glasses of water. I took the aspirin and water upstairs, figuring B would need them soon enough.

When I closed her bedroom door behind me, I saw her open up her eyes to look at me. She looked pretty miserable, I have to admit.

"C'mon, Sleeping Beauty," I said, offering her the aspirin and water. "This'll make you feel better."

"Ungh," was about all I could understand. She took the aspirin and downed the water in no time. She sat up, holding her head in her hands. "I've gone 15 rounds with a demon before and felt better than this. What happened?"

"You were drinking like a fish, that's what happened." I climbed up on the bed behind her, and massaged her shoulders. I don't know if it was helping, but she did relax a little. "I almost had to carry your Slayer-ass home."

"Wow. Last thing I remember you were talking about breaking your tequila shooter record."

"Yeah, and I did it, too. I appreciate the support you gave me with that, B. You were right there, all the way."

"Really? How many shots did I do before I had to stop?"

"Um, well, one. But it's not bad for your first time, hey?" She relaxed and leaned back against me, my hands dropping down to hold her around the waist. Goddamn, this was just too perfect. I didn't deserve it.

"First time? You mean, you want to do this again?"

"Don't you?" I frowned. I thought she had a good time.

"Well...yeah, I guess I do." I could feel her smile. "It was a lot of fun, not like the Bronze-hanging-out kinda fun, but more like a wild, impetuous, let-your-hair-down kinda fun. And a totally-pay-for -it-the-next-morning kinda fun."

"Yeah, well as soon as the aspirin kicks in, we'll go get something nice and greasy for lunch. It'll help, trust me." Her hair smelled like clove; it was stale, but it still turned me on. What didn't?

"There's only one problem with that plan."

"Hmm?"

"We'd have to move." She had a point.

I should have just let it go. Enjoyed the moment, the closeness that had been growing between us for the past couple days. So, of course, I didn't. "What...what's going on here, B?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean with us."

She was quiet for a hell of a long time. "I...I'm falling in love with you."

There it was. I'd wanted to hear her say that for so long now; dreamt about it, daydreamed and fantasized. It's what I worked for, fought for, since almost the moment I got to this shitty little town, even before I knew who Buffy Summers was.

She loved me. And I, in my crazy, totally fucked up way, loved her. I loved her more than anything.

That's why I couldn't let her do this.

I pushed her to the side, carefully, but firmly. Couldn't meet her eyes. Never liked much looking in them anyway. They were too beautiful, they saw right into me, right through me. I lived for them.

I started getting dressed, fast. I heard her say, "Faith, what's going on?" She sounded scared.

My voice was rough when I answered her. "Sorry, B. You know me. Get some and get gone, right? I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" I couldn't look at her, didn't even want to hear her. If I could have blocked out all things Buffy at that point, I would have. Would have made it easier.

"Can't do this. Can't do love. Don't you get it by now, B? I'm poison. Everything I touch dies." I knew I had to hurt her, really hurt her. Anger was a hell of a lot easier to deal with than pain. "'Sides, you'd be just another conquest to me, y'know? Just wanted to see if I could seduce you away from Beefstick. It was all a big game to me, B. Just a game." I laughed harshly. "Gotta admit, you really put up a fight there for awhile. But I had you broken. You would have given me everything, anything I asked for."

"I still would. I don't believe you, Faith. This wasn't a game to you." Her voice was calm, like she knew me better than I knew myself. Drove me crazy.

"Don't think so?" I was dressed now, and I walked up to where she was sitting in bed. I pushed her back, and straddled her hips. Leaned down and kissed her hard, slipping my tongue inside her mouth. God, it was electric. I felt her breathing hard now, responding to my every move.

I broke the kiss and sat up. Gave her a cold look and slowly climbed off the bed. Grabbed my jacket, and said, "Just a fucking game."

And then I left. I didn't look her in the eyes the whole time.