Redemption

Part 3

"So what are we going to do about the cops?" I asked. "Unless you want me to turn myself in." Yeah, like that was going to happen. I don't care how hard I fell for her, prison just wasn't an option.

Buffy shrugged. "What would be the point? You can do a lot more good as Slayer On Patrol than as Slayer Behind Bars." She hesitated for a second. "Are you...sorry for what happened?"

I dropped my head a little, unable to look her in the eyes. "Yeah, well that guy, the Deputy Mayor? It was like a big accident, you know?"

She nodded, didn't seem upset at all. "I know. Giles told me that it's happened before, with other Slayers. Accidents happen, and it's tragic, but the only thing to do is learn from them, I guess. I'm sorry I freaked, and wasn't there for you like I should have been."

"Nah, it's not your fault, well not totally. I just felt like it was all coming to an end, you know? It was just getting so wicked cool, I mean you and me were like real partners. The Chosen Two. But then, just like every other good thing in my life, I lost it way too fast. I started screwing it up, just like always. Then I figured that if I was going to be evil, I might as well go all the way, you know?"

Buffy stopped me, turned me around to face her. "Listen to me Faith," she said. "It doesn't have to be that way anymore. I've seen you, the real you, and you know what? You're a pretty wicked cool chick." I couldn't help laughing at that. Nice lingo, B. She held on to my arm, and we started walking again. "Tell you what, I'll make you a deal. You think you're screwing something up, you come talk to me about it. And if I think I'm screwing something up, I'll come talk to you. Ok?"

"Yeah, ok." Goddamn, I thought, shaking my head. What the hell did I do to deserve this?

"So, as far as the police go. I think I can get Will to hack into the police computers, maybe work some of her magic on their files."

I eyed her doubtfully, not wanting to get my hopes up. "You really think that will work?"

"Well, you'll still need to hide out until the heat's off." She giggled. "I always wondered what it would be like to say that. Anyway, once the police think you've skipped town they'll forget all about you. They only ever wanted you for questioning anyway. And we'll see what Will can do about their records."

It wasn't much, but I felt better than I did in a long, long time. Walking down the street with Buffy, I started to get that feeling, like everything was going to be ok after all. I was sure it was a lie. So I just shrugged, and told myself I'd enjoy it while it lasted.

"Hey, no problem, I'll just wait out here in broad daylight, maybe flag down a passing policeman and ask him what he wants, hey?"

"Ok, you might have a point there, no matter how couched in sarcasm. We'll both go in at once. But try not to panic him, ok?" She took a deep breath, and opened the door and we went inside.

Giles was sitting on his couch, reading a newspaper. He glanced over at us, and said, "Hello, Buffy, nice to see you this morning." And of course immediately did a double-take. I'm telling ya, I've seen deer which looked more comfortable when they were trapped by headlights.

"Giles, it's ok, there's nothing to worry about." Buffy tried to calm him down, but it didn't look like she was doing a very good job.

"Really, because, from where I'm standing it looks like you've just let a dangerous murderer inside my house. I must remember to send a thank you card." He was walking backwards, but where he thought he was going to go I have no idea. I don't think he knew either.

"Giles, look, can I talk to you a minute?" She turned around and smiled at me. "You want to grab yourself a soda and make yourself comfortable?"

I ignored the outraged yelp from the other side of the room, and smiled back. "Sure B, take all the time ya need."

"Ah, well, Faith, Buffy tells me that you and she have come to ah, an understanding."

I nodded. "Yeah, B's been really great about the whole thing. Um, look Giles, I'm ... sorry about all the trouble I've caused. I know it isn't going to be easy to try to make up for everything, but B and I really want to help each other this time." I stuck my hands in my jacket pockets to keep them from shaking. I hate it, I mean I can stare down vampires and demons who want to rip me limb from limb, but the minute I have to think about my own feelings, much less share 'em, I go all stressy.

No one spoke for a long time after that. Finally, Giles said, "Well, I think what you are doing is admirable. If there's any way I can help, don't hesitate to let me know."

I couldn't believe it. I actually looked between Giles and B, wondering what the catch was. Why the hell should he forgive me that easy?

"What about the Council?" Buffy asked. She sounded scared, but she might have had good reason to be. She had to deal with those jagoffs while I was living it up as her.

"Yes, well, as far as the Council knows Faith has left town, and I have no plans to disabuse them of that assumption."

The phone rang, and Giles walked over to pick it up. After a sec, he held it out to Buffy. "It's your mother." He walked upstairs while Buffy started talking to her mom.

Oh, great. Someone else who I tried to hurt. If they all got together, they could probably throw a pretty wicked party.

"Oh, ok mom. Ok. No problem. Love you too. Bye." Buffy set the phone down. "Mom's going away to Chicago for a few days, and wants us to house-sit."

I grimaced. "Somehow, I don't think she wants us to house-sit."

"Yeah, well..." B frowned. "It's...going to take some convincing on my part to get you both in the same room again. My mom can be a little stubborn."

"Hey, no big deal, huh B? I was actually wondering why the rest of you weren't being stubborn too." I shrugged and looked at the floor, unable to look her in the eyes. I just couldn't accept the fact that she was willing to forgive me, I just had to question it, didn't I? They always told me I never knew when to shut the fuck up.

"Hey," Buffy said in that soft voice of hers. She walked around the couch until she was standing right there in front of me, looking up with those mascara'd eyelashes, her slightly parted lips, her hands holding mine... I swear, my brain almost short-circuited.

"Faith, listen. You and I have really been through some rough things together, both good and bad. We've saved each others' lives, and we've tried to take them, too. That night...at the graveyard, I looked into your eyes and saw something that I didn't ever think I would see again.

"You weren't mad, you weren't mean, you were just...Faith. And I figured if you could be just Faith, and I could be just Buffy, then maybe we could be friends and none of that old stuff would matter anymore.

"That's why I'm not being stubborn about the whole thing. I just want it so that none of that old stuff matters, and the only thing that counts is what's happening right now. Does that make sense?"

I swallowed hard, and looked up at the ceiling. For two reasons, one was that I couldn't look into those eyes anymore, and the other was that I thought I was going to cry. Goddammit, I hadn't cried in years, I didn't want to start now. Weakling. Pitiful, pathetic fucking weakling, the minute someone starts to care about you, you fall into the same trap.

Something must've changed in my eyes, like a wall went up or something, because next thing I knew her hands were stroking my face, and she was saying, "Faith, please, please don't shut me out again." And I looked down at her, and her eyes were filling up with tears. She was scared, scared that she was going to lose me.

And that was it. I sank down to the floor, dragging her down with me, buried my face in her shoulder, and cried.

She put her arms around me, and held me like that for god knows how long. When I finally stopped, it felt like someone cut this big iron band that had been tightening across my chest ever since I could remember. I took a deep breath and B, with minimal movement, managed to snag a kleenex from the box on the table and give it to me.

"Wow, you must do this a lot," I said, blowing my nose. Ick.

"Only for my bestest friends," she told me, smiling. "So, do you mind house-sitting with me? I hate to do it alone, and I think Willow is going to need her space if she's going to get any sleep at all."

I grinned. "Yeah, you're probably right. Sure, B, I'd be happy to."

"Terrific!" She actually sounded pretty excited. "We'll swing by my place and pick up some things, and then we'll head over."

"Lead the way."

As soon as B left the room, I got up and walked over to where Red sat working on her computer. My sudden moves earned me a couple of cautious looks. "Red, uh, I mean, Willow? Can I talk to you a sec?"

She looked at me suspiciously, kinda looking like she wanted to keep her distance. "Um, sure."

"Cool. Look, I'm really sorry about all the stuff from before. I mean, I was pretty nuts back then, and did a lot of stuff I shouldn't have. I know the things I did hurt you pretty bad, and...I'm sorry." I waited for her answer, but never got one. I looked at her, but she just kept looking at me, kinda surprised now. Oh well, guess I should have kept talking. "I'm really sorry for the holding you at knifepoint thing, and for the hitting you thing. And the kidnapping thing. And Buffy told me that you probably didn't like the screwing Xander thing, either, so I'm sorry for that too.

"I guess what I really want is for another shot. I'll try not to screw this one up like I did the last one." I stopped, and looked at her again. She was chewing her bottom lip like she didn't know what to say. "You know, if you don't say something, I'm just gonna keep talking."

That made her smile, and she looked at me and nodded. "Ok. I can't promise anything, but I'll try."

"Thanks. You're wicked cool, Red." Just then, Buffy came back into the room. What can I say, the chick's got an incredible sense of timing.

"Ready to go?" She asked.

"Let's motor."

"It's from my mom. 'Thanks for housesitting, I really appreciate it. There should be plenty of food in the fridge for the next few days, if not I left some money for you you-know-where. All the hotel information is on the fridge. Have a good time, love, Mom.' Cool, let's see what's in the fridge."

I started to get that feeling back again, that jealousy which drove me nuts; it kept telling me that I had nothing while Buffy had everything.

"C'mon," Buffy said, grabbing my hand to drag me into the kitchen. "Are you hungry? I can cook...well, sorta. A few things, anyway." She smiled at me and I blinked; I realized that I didn't have nothing after all, I had her.

We sat in front of the TV eating our sandwiches, which was one of the only things that Buffy could "cook". I couldn't complain, though, it beat the hell out of what I was eating the past few days, which was a big nothing since I didn't have any money.

"This is great!" I could tell B was totally excited. "We can run a quick patrol tonight, and then come back here and do the slumber party thing."

"Sounds wicked, B...if I knew what the slumber party thing was."

"You know, the slumber party thing! Eat ice cream, watch movies until late, talk, do each other's hair..." She must've caught my alarmed look. "Ok, we don't have to do each other's hair. But I assume the rest of it is acceptable?"

I smiled and shrugged. "Sure, I guess. Slumber me."

It didn't take long before we were back at Buffy's pad, ready to begin the slumber party thing.

"This is going to be great. Just two bachelorettes, Buffy Summers and Faith..." Here it comes, I thought. "Um, I don't think I ever learned your last name."

"That's cuz I don't have one." I walked over to the couch and turned on the TV.

Buffy followed me. "Don't have one? Everyone has a last name, well, except for Cher, Prince, and Madonna, but even they have last names, they just don't use them..."

I sat down heavily, eyes still fixed to the TV. "Well, I don't, ok? Last names...last names are for people who have families." End of discussion.

Not for Buffy, obviously. She looked at me, wanting to ask something, I could just tell. Finally I broke down and said, "What?"

"What happened with your family?"

I just shook my head. "Look, this is supposed to be a party, right? So what are we supposed to do now?"

She seemed to accept that, at least for the time being. "Well, now we change into our pajamas and make some killer sundaes."

I laughed, and B gave me a look like I was crazy. Now it was her turn to ask, "What?"

"I don't wear PJ's, B."

She looked at me all puzzled and shit, and asked, "What do you wear-- Oh." Finally it dawned on her, and she closed her mouth. "Um, well I can lend you some sweats or something." Blushing furiously, she ran upstairs to her room.

Still laughing, I just shook my head and followed her.

I nudged her. "I can't believe you can sleep through this. It's fuckin' hilarious."

She blinked and yawned. "Guess I'm just really tired. Maybe it's time to hit the sack."

I shrugged and turned off the tv. I started re-arranging the pillows on the couch, and she stopped me. "What are you doing?"

"Um, I'm making up the couch so I can sleep? You really need to work on that observance thing, B."

"Most emphatically not," she said, grabbing my hand. "According to slumber party rules, sleeping must be done in the same room." She dragged me upstairs to her bedroom. "There is a certain protocol to sleeping at slumber parties, and you need to be very careful in following it lest you bring down the wrath of the Slumber Party Gods."

"B, I think I'll be more comfortable on the couch than on the floor."

She gave me a look that was pure "Duh." "You don't sleep on the floor at a Slumber Party. Not unless the bed is already taken." She pulled back the blankets on her Queen-size bed.

Oh no. No way. "I don't think that's a good idea." Yeah, like I'd get a hell of a whole lot of sleep next to her.

"Why not?" I couldn't answer her, not without spilling my guts, which I was most definitely not willing to do. "See? You don't even know why not. C'mon Faith, open up and relax for a change." She jumped into bed and pulled the blankets over her. "Turn off the light, would ya?"

I stood there for a minute, looking at the bed like it was one gigantic pit viper. Oh well. How bad could it possibly be, right? I flipped the lights off, and climbed into bed next to her.

I spent the next half hour tossing and turning. I couldn't sleep, not surrounded by the whole Buffy thing, and every time I moved my sweats kept bunching up. So I spent half my time getting comfortable, and the other half getting uncomfortable.

"If you keep that up, I'm going to need Dramamine." I heard B's voice next to me, and I turned to look at her, bunching up the sweats again.

"Not my fault," I grumbled. "Told ya I wasn't used to wearing this stuff." I growled and tried to pull the ankles of my sweats back down to my ankles, instead of my knees.

Buffy laughed. "If they're bothering you that much, just take them off."

I froze. She couldn't have possibly said what I thought she did. "What?"

She seemed a little flustered; I would have bet money that she was blushing, but I couldn't tell in the dim light. "Um, it's just that I don't want you to be uncomfortable. If you're more comfortable...I mean..."

I sat there for a minute, trying to decide whether to really do it, or just leave and sleep on the couch. Part of me wanted to leave, and not mess up my life with yet another complication, but... "Ok, B, you asked for it. Um, let me know if you're uncomfortable, ok?"

"Ok."

I sat on the edge of the bed, and stripped the sweats and t-shirt off, keeping them close by so I could wear 'em the next morning. I slipped back under the blankets, sighing with relief.

"Better?" Buffy's voice didn't give anything away.

"Yeah, much. Thanks, B."

"Goodnight, Faith."

"'Night...Buffy."