The Faith Factor

Part 4

"Oh, I was just thinking about him, and what he's doing to the vamps around here." Well, that part wasn't a lie, at least.

She nodded. "Well, he was some sort of demon/human/machine hybrid that the Initiative created. Only, now he's completely out of control." She sighed. "I only fought him once before, but he's tough. Really tough."

"You couldn't take him down?"

"Nope. He acted like he didn't even notice I was there... I've never fought anything like that before," she admitted.

"But he's got a weakness or something, right? I mean, everyone has a weakness."

She just shrugged. "If he does, we don't know it."

That wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear, right then.

What the fuck was I doing?

I knew that what that goddamn vamp said was right -- or, at least, it was right. I didn't enjoy Slaying because of any righteous thrill, or smug knowledge that I was doing the 'right thing.' I loved it because it was excitement, a challenge. Winning and losing. And until B came along, I was all about winning.

She beat me. She was the only one to put me down.

I looked over to where she slept, red and black blankets pulled up around her shoulders. We had come back to my place, and made love until we fell asleep. Well, until she fell asleep; I had too much on my mind, and even Buffy couldn't really quiet the thoughts I was having.

So I got up, pulled on a sweatshirt and some boxers, and just sat, staring into space.

I thought about that chick in the alley outside the Bronze. The one I saved from being vamped. That look in her eyes, when she thanked me -- it had been a long time since the last time I saw it. When you're going around killing people for the Mayor, they just don't give you that same look. The look they gave was fear; fear was almost as good, to be honest. But gratitude, their honest get-down-on-their-knees thankfulness that you are who you are and you decided to save their lives -- that was something else entirely.

I decided I liked it.

But did I like it enough?

"Faith?" I heard B's soft, sleepy voice from the direction of the bed. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine. Just couldn't sleep."

"Ok..." Her voice was drifting off now. "Love you..."

"I love you too."

Ah hell. I really did love her. But, shit, that 'second best' comment really tore at me, just like that fuckin' vamp knew it would. I wasn't built to be second best, not to anyone. Not even Buffy.

"Go for it," I said, opening an eyelid carefully. "You'll need a belt." Even though I liked my jeans tight, B was a size or two smaller than me, and they'd be a little baggy on her.

"Thanks." She finished getting dressed, pulling on her socks and shoes.

"You should just leave some of your clothes over here," I said, before I even realized what the hell I was saying.

She looked over at me, kinda surprised. "You wouldn't mind?"

Would I mind, ah hell. I wouldn't mind if she brought all her clothes, and stayed with me for the rest of my fuckin' life. "Nah. I mean, if you don't."

B just smiled, and leaned over to give me a kiss. "I don't." She grabbed her jacket. "I've got classes all day; want to meet me tonight, at the dorm? We can grab some dinner or something."

"Sounds like a plan," I mumbled, and went back to sleep.

I had tried my best to avoid thinking about all the crap that had been going through my mind lately; so, of course, life threw me a curve.

"Well, if it isn't our favorite Slayer." Of course, just my luck.

"Just fuck off, Vinnie, before I dust your ass," I snarled. My hand clenched around the stake in my pocket.

He just looked amused. Pushed off of the tombstone he was leaning on, and came walking over. "You think about my offer?"

"Why the fuck would I want to do that?"

"You disappoint me. I thought for sure you were a winner. Instead it looks like you're just as happy trotting after your little bitch in heat."

I grabbed him, shoving the point of my stake against his chest. "No one fucking talks about her like that," I said, gritting my teeth. I raised my stake to shove it into his chest, and he didn't even blink.

"You're not going to do that."

"Why the hell not?" I said, and just as I was ready to shove the stake into his chest, I felt it.

It was like getting hit by a truck, if a truck was the size of someone's fist. It sent me flying to the left several feet, and I crashed against a tombstone, shoulder first. Fuck, that hurt! Not even B ever hit me that hard.

I stumbled to my feet and saw Vinnie standing next to some bizarro demon/machine thing which could only be Adam. The sucker must've stood about six and a half feet tall, with muscles which could put Arnie to shame. He just looked at me, his head cocked to the side a little, like a dog. Or a robot.

"You are Faith. The extra Slayer."

"Just a Slayer, asshole, there's nothing extra about me."

"You were an accident, activated upon the death of the Slayer Kendra, who was also an accident." He spoke in a monotone, like he was reading all this from the goddamn encyclopedia or something. Slayer, The. "After arriving in Sunnydale you turned renegade and took orders from former Mayor Wilkins. You fought with your counterpart, who put you in a coma with acute neural trauma and severe lacerations."

I glared at Vinnie. "You feed him all that?"

He just shrugged. "Some of it. You'd be surprised how many records the Initiative had about this town." He walked toward me, totally cool like I didn't just try to kill him. "Adam knows everything the Initiative does. They'll never catch him. Neither can Buffy."

"Don't be too sure about that." My voice sounded hollow, even to myself. I was never too convincing a liar.

Vinnie chuckled. "Adam can make sure that you're the only Slayer in Sunnydale, if you get my meaning. No being second best, no having to live in the other Slayer's shadow. I know how much that gets to you, Faith. I know how much it drives you nuts."

My jaw hurt from me clenching my teeth so hard. "I can't. I won't."

"Why, because you think you love her?" He laughed. "I remember you, Faith, and your revolving bedroom door. She's just another fuck to you, and that's all you are to her. Experienced. I bet you give a good ride." My fists were clenched now, but I still didn't make a move. Not with Adam standing there a few feet away. "It will never last between you two, anyway. How long do you think she'll be able to put up with your shit, huh?"

I just shook my head. Somewhere in my head, that voice tried to tell me that he was right. How many times have I tried to push Buffy away? Did I really think our hormones would be enough to hold us together, with all the shit that has gone down between us?

"Listen, you don't have to do anything. That's the beauty of it. Just bring her here, and we'll do the rest. You'll be the Slayer here, just like you always wanted. The only Slayer. The Chosen One. Sunnydale will be your town, like it was supposed to be."

I didn't answer, I just closed my eyes. I heard movement, and I hoped it was Adam coming up to rip my head from my shoulders. Put me out of my fucking misery. But when I opened my eyes, both of them were gone.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I picked at my fries, not really hungry. I met up with B at her dorm, and she wanted to go to this burger place for dinner, so here we were.

She frowned. "You don't look ok. Did anything happen this afternoon?"

I looked at her, and gave her a half-smile. "Nah, everything's cool. I'm just not hungry. I ate a big lunch."

She seemed to accept that; either that, or she decided it would be best to change the subject. "Will was pretty freaked out about her date tonight." She giggled. "She and Tara look really cute together."

"Yeah."

"Maybe we could all go out to dinner together some night? I'd like to get to know Tara better."

"Yeah."

She cocked an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure you're ok? Do you even want to go on patrol tonight?"

I stiffened a little, and looked at her. "Yeah. I'm fine. Five by five."

"Okay." She grabbed her wallet, and left a twenty on the table. "Ready when you are."

Okay, Faith. Time to find out what you're made of.

"You hear something?" B asked, looking around at the shadows.

"Not sure," I said, feeling that prickling on the back of my neck, like there's a knife headed right for it.

"Well, well. If it isn't the Slayer twins." I recognized Vinnie's voice immediately. I should, by now. I looked around and three vampires came out of the shadows, surrounding us.

I measured up all three vamps. Besides Vinnie, there was some biker looking creep who dressed like a Hell's Angel wannabe, and a young punk who looked like he used to be on Sunnydale High's football team. Geez, they must really be scraping the bottom of vamp material since the boss left.

"Wow, that's really clever," Buffy said, sarcastically. "But if you wanted to fight us, you should have brought a few more guys. We won't even break a sweat with you."

Vinnie just laughed. "We don't need more guys. Not when we have these." He and the other two vampires pulled guns from their jackets, and leveled them at us.

Guns, hell. Those suckers were fuckin' hand cannons. At least, that's what it looked like from the barrel end.

Vinnie smiled, all smug and shit. "I don't care what Slayer powers you have, they won't stop a bullet."

He was right. I don't know why more vamps didn't think of it, to be honest.

"I have to thank you, Faith. You did a great job bringing the Slayer here. Guess you decided to be on the winning side after all."

Oh, shit.

Buffy just looked at me...hurt, confused, betrayed...I don't have enough words to describe that look. She stared at me, like she couldn't believe he was telling the truth, but also couldn't believe he was lying.

It almost killed me. That's when I knew.

"Guess again, asshole," I snarled, and launched myself at the nearest vamp, Mr. Hell's Angel. I led with my stake, which buried itself in his chest, turning him into dust in a second.

I have to give B credit; as soon as I moved, she ducked out of the way and shots fired wildly over her head. She aimed a leg sweep at Vinnie, and brought him to the turf.

I saw that Jock was trying to get a bead on her, and I was on him fast. I buried my stake in his back, grabbing his gun away from him with my right hand. He dissolved into dust, and I aimed the gun in Vinnie's direction.

"I think you'll want to drop that," he growled, holding Buffy in front of him, gun pressed against her temple. "One shot won't kill me, but it will most certainly kill her."

I glared at him, gun leveled at his face.

"You disappoint me. I thought for sure you knew which side to bet on this time. Guess you're just a big loser after all." He dug the gun hard into the side of B's face. "I said, drop it."

I looked into B's eyes; she was scared, but it was more for me than for her. I looked away; I had to, or else I'd never be able to do this. "Okay," I said, and ejected the clip. Time seemed to slow down in that weird way it does, right when you know you're gonna die; the clip tumbled down, end over end, until it landed on the grass with a dull thud.

Vinnie smiled at me, and pointed his gun right at my chest. "Like I said. Just a big, fuckin' loser."

"I'm not the one with a bullet in my brain," I said, and fired the one round I knew was still in the chamber.

Vinnie's head snapped back, and I heard the sharp crack of another gun firing. Buffy whipped a stake out of her sleeve, dodged around Vinnie and buried it in his back. A second later, he was dust.

What a relief, I thought, and then I wondered why my legs weren't holding me up anymore. I dropped down to the turf, noticing with a hell of a shock that my chest was covered with blood. B ran over to me, holding me. I knew she was saying something, but I couldn't figure out what. My ears didn't seem to be working, or some shit like that.

"I love you, Buffy," I heard myself say, my words echoing inside my head. I wanted her to know it, to know that I didn't betray her. Not really.

I got tired all of a sudden. After that, I don't remember a whole hell of a lot.

The first thing I noticed was someone holding my hand. Buffy, definitely. I got to know those hands pretty well. She was talking to someone, from the sounds of it.

"No way. I am not leaving her."

"Buffy, be reasonable. You have to go home, get some sleep." That voice, I knew I heard it before...

"Forget it, mom." Oh yeah. "I need to be here when she wakes up."

"I know you feel responsible for her, honey, but you have to think of yourself now."

"You don't get it. She saved my life, mom, and she almost died doing it. Besides, I wouldn't leave her now anyway."

"I know she's a friend of yours, but--"

"We're more than friends, mom." Oh, this was getting good.

"Excuse me?"

"We love each other. We're in love with each other. If you can't deal with that right now, then it's probably best you leave. I'm not leaving her."

There was a long silence then. I can only imagine the looks. "We'll talk about this later." A couple seconds later, I heard the door close.

Now, if only I could get my voice to work. "Buffy?" It was hoarse, but not bad.

I heard a stifled sob, and I felt her hand brush across my face. I opened my eyes, just to have to shut them a second later from the brightness.

"I'm here, Faith. I'm here..." I felt her lips on the back of my hand, and I tried opening my eyes again. It worked a little better this time, and it only took me a few seconds to focus on Buffy.

God, she looked like hell. Dark circles under her eyes, tear stained cheeks, the whole bit. She was wearing the same clothes, too, which had big dried bloodstains all over. Crap. Those were actually my clothes that she had borrowed. Oh well.

"How many months was I out this time?" I asked, my voice still shaky.

B smiled at me, her eyes filling up with tears. "Two days. They had you in surgery for about four hours, from the time I brought you in."

"How bad is it?"

She licked her lips. "I don't know if--"

"Please, B, I want to know." I looked at her, hoping my eyes would tell her what I couldn't.

"The docs said the bullet ricocheted off your ribs and tore through your lung; it missed your heart by less than an inch. But they were able to get all the pieces out, and patched you up pretty good. With the amount of blood you lost, they didn't think you'd make it--" Her voice broke, and she took a deep breath before continuing. "I knew you would, though. Slayer chicks are just too tough to put down for long."

"Tell me about it," I said, giving her a weak grin. "So when can I get the hell out of here?"