SPOILERS: This takes place after Angel loses his soul but before Becoming, which never happened in my 'verse. I will keep and discard Buffy lore as I see fit.

Epilogue

**I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
and I don't want to move a thing
it might change my memory
oh I am what I am I'll do what I want
but I can't hide and I won't go
I won't sleep I can't breathe
until you're resting here with me
and I won't leave and I can't hide
I cannot be until you're resting here with me**

**"Here With Me"- By Dido**

The night Willow left Angel she was 18 years old. It was the summer after what should have been her graduation from high school, the summer before her first year at College. As Willow found herself walking the streets of Los Angeles away from the house and from Angel, she found that, despite the pain of her broken heart, a tiny bubble of freedom had begun to lighten Willow's heart.

It seemed like an eternity since Willow had been able to walk down a public street, even in the daytime, without worrying about whom was following her or if the next person to turn the corner would be Angelus. Willow had her entire life before her, and though her life wasn't exactly turning out the way she had always imagined it, Willow found that she wasn't bothered by it.

In actuality, her life had gone off course the moment the beautiful, blonde slayer had entered it and, looking back, Willow knew that what had been meant to be had occurred. Willow had been tried by the fire and come out stronger because of it. She may only be 18, but she was well on her way to being a woman. She was stronger, more independent, and more talented than she had ever dreamed she could be.

She, shy little Willow, had loved and lost. Plain little Willow, who not even her best friend, the boy she had thought she'd loved for so long, had never looked at had been involved in a love affair that not even the most torrid of romance novels could match.

The thought made Willow smile. My how things change. Not quite sure where she wanted to go, Willow ended up taking a taxi to the airport. The first person she called was Xander, because she was sure he was worried sick over her whereabouts. All the time she had been away not a week had gone by without her calling him and with all that had happened, they hadn't spoken in about three weeks.

 Hearing her voice, Xander had broken down and cried. It was the only time in her entire life Willow had ever seen or heard Xander cry.

After speaking to him and promising that she was on her way to Sunnydale that day, Willow called Giles and got an almost exact replica of her conversation with Xander, minus the sobs, though from the frog in his throat Willow had a feeling Giles was shedding a few tears.

Her third and final call was collect to London where she spoke to Lydia. After some deep contemplation, Willow decided not to tell Lydia about Angel's masquerade as Adrian. Lydia had known Adrian, the real Adrian, since birth and she didn't want to add to the news of his death with the added blow that he had in actuality died almost a year earlier, and not actually two weeks ago.

Willow didn't feel bad about the deception. She knew the Council probably would have liked the information of the PTB's interception in their little melodrama but they were just gonna have to do without that tidbit for their files. Perhaps one day she would tell Lydia, but if she did it would be many years from now, when old wounds had long since healed.

Willow was back in Sunnydale that night, and was thrilled to finally see her friends again after all their time apart. She mourned with them the loss of Buffy, which they had known about through Amy, and learned that they had had a memorial service for Buffy a week earlier.

Mrs. Summers, who had never known about her daughter's true life vocation, was a shell of the woman she had once been. She thought her daughter had perished in a fire that had destroyed a warehouse downtown, thus the lack of a body.

Willow only hoped that, wherever Buffy was, she didn't come to pay a visit to her mother and spoil the illusion. Buffy's mother was leaving town, returning once again to Los Angeles and her estranged husband, who had returned for the Buffy's memorial service and had asked his wife to return with him. It looked as if they were on the road to reconciliation, both needing the other for comfort after the loss of their only daughter. Willow prayed things would work out for them, and that one day they'd be able to remember their daughter as the hero she truly was.

 Though Xander tried to talk her out of leaving, Willow only stayed in Sunnydale for a week, long enough to visit both Buffy's and her parents' graves and clear up business with her parent's lawyers over the inheritance. Once everything was settled, and the only ties keeping Willow in her hometown was her old friends, Willow made the decision to leave for good.

Xander was headed to New York with Cordelia anyway, both enrolled at universities there (Cordelia at Columbia, Xander at NYU) and Oz and Amy were moving on to LA (Oz to follow his band in their attempts at stardom as well as being matriculated at UCLA with Amy). Giles was being called back to London by the Council, and Willow had decided to join him. Lydia had made it clear that Willow was always welcome there, and if she decided to return she would be more than happy to arrange for her to finish her schooling as they had originally planned, and Oxford was always an option after High School.

 For the first time since Lydia had first begun to mention it, Willow began to seriously consider her advice. After her cryptic meeting with Whistler, Willow had begun to suspect that perhaps more than just friendship lied in her ties with the Watcher's Council. She felt a instinctual connection to the organization, as if deep down she knew that within their structured society she belonged.

 She suspected Lydia knew something about those feelings of Willow's, given her repeated, fervent recommendations for Willow to begin watcher training, but she didn't press the issue. Willow had a great deal of faith in Whistler's words- all would be revealed when they were meant to be. As for now, Willow would follow her instinct's and let destiny lead her where it wanted. She knew from experience that she couldn't fight fate anyhow (though, with Whistler's help, maybe just distort it a bit).

Willow managed to finish her high school degree at a London private school in half a semester and was accepted and enrolled at Oxford by the following Spring, only six months after leaving Angel. Willow Double majored in History and Computer Science, achieving her degree in three and a half years before moving back to the States.

Willow was 22 when she finally returned to America. She settled in Boston where she could continue with both her educations. She was currently a Grad Student at Harvard where she majored in History and a Watcher in Training with the Council, whose US headquarters were conveniently situated right there in Boston.

Willow was involved with two things she loved- education and being a watcher, her newfound passion, and so for the most part Willow was happy. With her life taken up by school and the Council, Willow found she didn't have much time for a personal life. Over the years she'd been out on a few dates, made a few new friends at school and a lot more within the Council, but in terms of her romantic life, Willow had never found anyone to replace Angel. He remained her first and only true love, not to mention her first and only lover, and Willow was content to keep things that way.

 As the years went by Willow found herself more and more anxious for her reunion with Angel. When she had left him she'd been positive they would have found their way back to each other by now, but then again she had still been rather young and naive back then, despite all she'd gone through. As the time went on and still Willow was apart from Angel, she couldn't help but wonder if perhaps his point that it might be too late had been portent.

Though Willow had been able to heal all of her old wounds years ago, she was still not reconciled with Angel, and there was absolutely no signs as to his whereabouts. She'd questioned Giles a few times, who was now living in Greece with one of the newest slayers as his charge, hoping maybe Angel had contacted him, but after the whole Ms. Calender thing that seemed unlikely. Giles claimed to have no knowledge of the vampire's whereabouts, nor did anybody on the Council, though Lydia had tried her best to find out, using whatever source she could. For all intents and purposes, Angel had seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth after they had parted in LA.

Even Whistler, whom Willow had seen twice in the past 4 years when the demon decided to pay a surprise social visit, claimed to have no knowledge of his whereabouts. Willow couldn't be sure if Whistler was lying to protect his friend's secrecy, but she didn't press him. As much as she wanted to see him again, she didn't want to force it before Angel was ready. The whole point of her leaving him was so that they could both find each other again when they were both ready. Disappointed, Willow resigned herself to waiting, figuring that as an immortal, Angel had a different sense of time than herself. For him the past 4 years had probably flown by like 4 months would to her. She would just have to be patient and pray that the rift of time wouldn't change things between them permanently, making it too late to reclaim their lost love.

So Willow settled in Boston and found herself to be happy with the life she was leading. She got to see Xander and Cordelia often enough. They lived in New York, having been married right after graduating college, and, when they all turned 23, were well on their way to having their first child. Cordelia was being forced to put off law school for awhile, but the expectant mother couldn't have been happier. Willow couldn't help but marvel at the woman Cordelia had grown in to. That wasn't to say her bitchiness didn't rear its ugly head every once in awhile, but Willow found it more amusing than anything else. The two had long ago managed to become friends, and next to Lydia, Cordelia was Willow's closest friend and confidante.

She also managed to see Oz and Amy every so often. They were both still in LA, still together though not married- yet. Oz was living it up with the growing popularity of Dingoes, and Amy was in grad school as well, still continuing her Wicca studies. Willow loved when she got to see her 'cause they could practice spells together.

To Willow's surprise, Lydia had set her up with a group of established and powerful Wicca's in London who had helped her discover the strong, untapped fount of natural ability within herself. Amy claimed she'd known that Willow had to be a natural witch all along, what with her red hair and all, but Willow had never been sure before. Now Willow was comfortable with her status as full-fledged Witch, though it was a bit difficult to juggle with her Jewish faith. At least she got double the holidays!

It was only after a year and a half of living in Boston that Willow returned to Sunnydale. She supposed it was the conversation she had with Xander the previous weekend, when they'd gone out for drinks during his visit and found themselves reminiscing about old times, that had made her decide to make the pilgrimage to her home town. She'd wanted to see how the town had changed since they'd all been away, as well as visit the graves of her loved ones. On her first night in town, Willow had found herself drawn to the bronze, and it was there that she finally saw Angel again.

All she had needed was one look at his beautiful face and she had known everything would be all right. Their love was a tangible force, crackling between them as they embraced, the feel of each others bodies responding to the other assuaging any doubts they might have had on how the other might still have felt. Before they knew it they were kissing voraciously, their passion rising with each melding of their lips to a fever pitch. Angel was the first to break the kiss, though rather reluctantly. "Maybe we should go somewhere more private." He broke off as his eyes swept over the crowded club.

Though only a handful of people were sneaking peaks at the older couple, Angel still felt their reunion was one that would be better completed in private. As it was he was barely able to control his urge to take her right there and then, spectators be damned.

Willow nodded, not quite sure how far things would end up going between them but knowing that privacy was definitely required; especially if they wanted to talk.

 It wasn't that their kiss of moments ago had left her doubting Angel's continued passion for her- but Willow knew better than anyone that passion did not immediately equate into love. Willow needed more proof than the budding evidence of his desire currently pressing against her stomach.

Slipping out into the night, the couple quickly fell into a leisurely stroll, their hands firmly entwined as they wandered aimlessly, waiting till they were far from the crowded streets surrounding the club before either spoke. Seemingly guided by some inner compass, they found themselves headed towards the cemetery. As they walked the solitary rows, a schism seemed to manifest itself between them. The tension from their unanswered questions weighed heavy on their minds, becoming a palpable presence. "So, who should go first?" Willow asked, stopping before a imposing marble mausoleum, unable to stop her nervous fidgeting.

Angel stopped a short distance away from her, giving her the room he felt she needed. As much as he wanted- needed- to wrap her into his arms and never let her go, he would wait patiently until she came to him. They'd been apart so long, much longer than they had ever been together, he wasn't quite sure what rights he still had over her body, over touching her. "I suppose you're wondering where I've been for the last 5 years?"

Willow felt a flash of anger over his seemingly capricious tone, not realizing that it was born of his desire to keep his own deep emotions in check. "Yes, well, until tonight I had no idea if you were dead or alive so, yeah, I can say I'm a bit curious as to where you've been. I mean, you didn't exactly make it easy for me to find you if I wanted or needed to."

Angel ducked his head at the accusatory slant to her words. He knew he deserved the recriminations so he didn't try to stop her. "I'm sorry. I know I'm the older one here but at times I can be as immature as a teenager. Those tendencies tend to stay with you even as you grow older, and manifest themselves when you're incredibly hurt or angry- which I was. I suppose that's why I made sure you wouldn't be able to find me. I wanted to hurt you for leaving me, for turning your back on our love."

Willow fought for understanding. "You said you understood why I did it, why I had to do it."

Angel held up his hands, hoping to abate her anger. "I do understand, but it took me awhile to fully accept what you had decided. And even then, my understanding couldn't quell my feelings of hurt. I reacted badly, I admit, but it was what I needed if I was going to respect your wishes. You said that we shouldn't try to find each other again until we were both ready, but I knew that if I saw you before it was time then I wouldn't give a damn about healing old wounds. I would fall back into your arms and forget the rest of the world."

Willow couldn't think of any answer to his confession. Her heart was once again swelling with the love and hope that had overtook it when she'd first caught sight of him at the Bronze. Leaning back against the hard marble walls for support.

Before she could even begin to contemplate the ramifications behind his words, Angel continued. "I wish I could say I was a better person this time around than I had been all those years ago when I was first cursed, but I guess old habits are hard to break. I spent the first two years without you brooding in a house I managed to secure for myself in LA. I can't really remember much of that year beyond the emotions I felt and the memories I made myself relive on a daily basis- some good, most bad. I made good work of tormenting myself. Heck, I'm practically a pro at it. "It wasn't until Whistler found me and tried to talk some sense into me that I realized how futile beating myself up over actions I couldn't change. Whistler saved me from myself once again." Angel shook his head in amazement. "I really don't know how I can ever repay the demon for all he's done for me. He is truly one of the best friends I've ever had."

Willow, who had been silently fuming over Whistler's deceptions to her, was immediately remorseful as she heard the gratitude of Angel's words and tone. The demon had done so much, for both of them, that she couldn't really stay mad at him. He'd done what he'd thought was best, and Willow trusted him enough not to question his motivations. "Well, somehow Whistler got through to me, and he told me that if I really wanted to make amends then he had just the job for me. Amazingly, he seemed to think I could still do some good even after the whole Sunnydale fiasco." He smiled ruefully. "Seems once Whistler sets his sights on redeeming someone he doesn't quit until it's accomplished. "So I followed Whistler to Greece where Giles was just starting his training of Sophia, one of the new slayers. Whistler said that he was pretty sure this time around I wouldn't get into any trouble helping the slayer, since I had you waiting for me."

Angel chuckled to himself and Willow couldn't help but smile back. However, Angel quickly grew serious once again. "At first I was hesitant to see Giles again. It was the first time since I had my soul restored and well, I couldn't say I was really anxious to be confronted head on with one of the worst sins I committed as Angelus. It took awhile before Giles and I were able to rebuild the trust between us- after all, our relationship had always been precarious at best. But in time I was able to earn his forgiveness, something I hadn't ever even dreamed possible. I would have settled for a tenuous truce, but, then again, if we wanted to help Sophia then we really did have to work together without any animosity or distrust. Giles is really a remarkable man. A true hero."

 Lost in a moment in his awe over the strength of their friend, Angel lapsed into silence. "So you've been in Greece all this time, with both Giles and Whistler knowing exactly where you were yet they both kept promising me they had no idea. And Lydia! She must have known as well!" Willow fumed. She couldn't wait to tet her hands on all three of the culprits. Angel gave Willow a disapproving look, but the playful glint in his eyes let her know he wasn't seriously chastising her. "Now, Willow darling, don't let that fiery temper I love so much in you become misdirected towards the people who love you most in this world. They were only doing what I asked them to- what you asked me to do."

Willow nodded, though inside she made herself to promise to plan a sweet little revenge on her friends- nothing major, but a harmless prank that would satisfy her thirst for payback. Keeping her plans hidden from her expression, Willow smiled sweetly at the vampire. "So then, you understand why I wanted us to be apart for awhile? I mean… you're here now so, does that mean the past is finally behind us?" Willow felt her apprehension growing as her mind created possible scenarios for his return in her mind. For all she knew he was there to say goodbye once and for all. The kiss back at the bronze, well, that could have been a goodbye. She couldn't be sure and so she needed to hear the words.

Angel surged forward, closing the distance between them until Willow was backed up against the wall once again. He restrained himself from touching her, though his body ached for it. It was silly, but he needed to hear the words as well. "I came back because you were right. We did need the time away from each other. I made a lot of mistakes when I first regained my soul. When I was with Buffy, I was still caught up in the guilt over everything I had done as Angelus. The past wasn't dead for me, and so my relationship with her was doomed to failure before it even began. You were right in trying to keep us from making the same mistakes."

Tears of happiness began to dampen Willow's eyes. 'I was so afraid you wouldn't forgive me for leaving you. Or that when all was said and done, that maybe you would be right, and it would be too late for us. It's not, is it?" The moment was pregnant with destiny before Angel vocalized what they were both feeling deep inside.

 "I could never not forgive you, Willow aroon. I love you- I always have and I always will. You did what was right and for that I will always be grateful. I'm yours if you still want me."

Willow threw her arms around her lovers neck, the kisses she rained on his lips and cheeks filled with everything she was feeling. "Of course I want you. I'll always want you. I love you, you silly vampire."

The smile that brightened Angel's face was as bright as the rising sun. Reunited at last, the young lovers proceeded in consummating the love they had put aside for so many years. They were barely able to pull apart long enough to run back to Willow's hotel room before they fell back into each other's arms, relearning every inch of the others bodies. They were together again, without anything to stand between them, and together they knew they could face anything life had to throw their way. From that moment on, nothing would ever be able to keep them apart.